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T.com Family - My source of support

I'm in therapy to help my daughter through this time...I need the tools. But I do have to say that without having been through one challenge and going through one right now...I wouldn't have been able to be there for her as well as I have been. I know with all my heart that being here has made all the difference in the world in how I'm able to be there for her.With that said...I'm i therapy, my daughters in group therapy for teen girl...

March 4, 2010 | comments (1) | Year 2010

Things I know....

Following up on my blog from earlier today....THINGS I HAVE LEARNED and KNOW....I need God in my lifeI need to be active in this community every single dayI need to forgive myselfI need to love and allow myself to be lovedThis much I know.......

February 16, 2010 | comments (2) | Year 2010

How do you blog about things you can't blog about?

How do you blog about things you can't blog about? I mean things you can't talk about that are so private to others?I have come to terms that things that have happened TO ME, are not so private only because I hope to help someone else who may be suffering from the same thing(s). I suffered in silence & alone for 2 decades running from the pain and doing whatever I could do to avoid feeling. If I can help someone else by shar...

February 16, 2010 | comments (0) | Year 2010

Things might not be what I thought they were

I'm in my 3rd week with a new therapist and we're doing some intensive therapy work. Over the years, I've been to 3 therapists...and all 3 sucked. I got nothing out of my time with them. So this time when I decided I needed some serious help to change our lives (due to my daughter being in the hospital) I went about seeking a therapist where I would do some good hard work, see progress weekly, take action on both behalves.After ...

January 19, 2010 | comments (4) | Year 2010

The Silence is Deafening

Something very serious is going on with my daughter and nobody knows why. She was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and released just before Christmas. We had a wonderful, loving, joyful Christmas and then 2 nights ago...no sooner did I email Stoney and Bobby to let them know I'd be able to spend more time here welcoming newcomers....did I find out that something happened with Alyssa again and we were in an ambulance on our way to...

December 30, 2009 | comments (13) | Year 2009

Is hitting your bottom a false sense of security?

File this one under “late bloomer”, naiveté or arrogance? After all I’ve been through, I thought when I declared I had officially hit bottom…well I meant it! That’s it! The worst is over and behind me! My mistake is in thinking I had a clue as to what the rest of my life looked like. How dare I think I’m the Director of my Life and play God. He’s got a surefire wa...

December 14, 2009 | comments (6) | Year 2009

What is this paralyzing fear inside of me?

What is this paralyzing fear inside of me? I had no idea how fearful I was of....well, myself. Even though I recently celebrated my 6 months of sobriety and felt incredible about that accomplishment...I also felt a sense of failure on the inside. When people were congratulating me, I reminded myself to feel the accomplishment and acknowledge that it's not something small at all. In the past I tended to make any le...

November 19, 2009 | comments (11) | Year 2009

All the little blessings

It's amazing to me how much I can feel myself changing. Last week on TTR Bill talked about noticing all the little things and having gratitude for them. I can honestly say that that's something I've been doing for quite some time. What makes me so proud is when I hear Alyssa say little things like "Mommy...pull over so I can take a picture of this beautiful sunset" or "Awww look how cute that little old couple are...

November 17, 2009 | comments (3) | Year 2009

6 Months of Sobriety Today

TODAY I HAVE 6 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY! yay! Woo hoo! I'm so incredibly grateful to have 6 months of sobriety today. I've attempted getting sober for so many years in the past...as far back as my San Francisco days when I'd go to meetings in Cow Hollow, Pacific Heights Saturday mornings and the Marina. I also lived in Los Angeles where I went to meetings in BH, Westwood, Santa Monica and Venice, on the beach. ...

November 12, 2009 | comments (25) | Year 2009

Denver 2009 - Thoughts After Returning

I've been thinking about what to write and how I can condense all this, ever since I returned from Denver. So many incredible emotions, thoughts and feelings...DEEP feelings.The only way that I can sum up my experience in Denver is in the following, which I'm writing for the first time...~~ I'm alive~~ I feel my heart pumping~~ I feel energy from one finger tip charging through to the other hand/finger tip...as it lights up my whole soul~~ ...

November 4, 2009 | comments (3) | Year 2009

You've Come A Long Way Baby...But There's Still Plenty Of Work To Do!

This is all I could hear this morning as I laughed at myself! "You've Come A Long Way Baby But There's Still Plenty Of Work To Do So Let's Get Busy!" I woke up feeling rejuvenated, energized, excited about life and ready to rock this party...even with just 4 hours of sleep. I've been so swamped with the fundraiser, redoing my home, coaching, mentoring, AA, assignments and so on....that I wish I...

September 30, 2009 | comments (2) | Year 2009

A Fundraising Event filled with lots of lessons, emotions, disappointment & sense of pride

So I've been working super hard on this fundraising event which started out to be a simple gala with a silent auction :::: yawn ::::. Been there, done that. In the true spirit of my transformation, I wanted to celebrate me but doing an event that resembles more about who I am. So I brainstormed with a friend in town who owns a business. What we came up with was totally more along the lines of what I wanted to do and it was ...

September 24, 2009 | comments (2) | Year 2009

What have I learned?

Last week was the first week in with my business goals. I'm learning so much about myself in so many ways personally and professionally. What did I learn last week? The week before? The Month(s) before? So much I've learned about myself in such a little time! I've learned.... ~ I matter~ I have a lot to bring to the table~ Being a good business woman is within reach~ I need to work on relationships and allowing ...

September 21, 2009 | comments (5) | Year 2009

I'm Worth It

I have so much happening right now that I can't help but write it down. I should look up my horoscope and see what's happening because this is just too profound. The profoundness is how I'm responding to everything happening around me. Maybe that has nothing to do with astrology then? lol I know there are people who are against astrology and believe it's the devil finding a way into your soul. There are other ...

September 15, 2009 | comments (5) | Year 2009

Wow....today I realized why we have bad days! LOL

Today I embarked on a pretty aggressive schedule to make my businesses come to life. I've been preparing and planning this for several weeks...and it was executed today! Today was Day One and I'm so happy how it went. I'm F-O-C-U-S-E-D about my goals and outcome. It will definitely be a challenge since I'm here also working on my spirituality and relationship with God as my goal. But, I do believe with due diligence....

September 14, 2009 | comments (3) | Year 2009

Thank you to the Angels in the T.com Community

I've been blessed to be the recipient of an anonymous little angel on here! Our airfare to Denver has been paid for! So Alyssa and I will embark to Denver just as we've been training, pledging and fundraising for! I had called Sky High Travel to see if there was a way that I could find out who donated so that I could go...but they said they wish to remain anonymous! In my book, that's the true definition of anonymous and in...

September 14, 2009 | comments (7) | 1st Challenge - Notable Progress

I will prevail through LOOKING UP

I finished my Round one on August 31st and went straight into my personal second round on September 1st. I decided I didn't want to skip a beat or lose anymore time improving myself and my life than I'd already lost over the years. Last week I wrote a blog about a horrible day I was having. I'm human...and we all have horrible days. Unfortunately, as a result of that blog I was in receipt of a fairly nasty and harrassing em...

September 10, 2009 | comments (3) | 1st Challenge - Notable Progress

Eliminating Negative Energy

Right now I am so upset, broken-hearted and downright angry. On days like today, I literally feel like there are these hands that reach up and grab me...take a strong hold on me...and PULL me down....and they KEEP PULLING me down...harder and harder...stronger and stronger...with more force....until I'm defeated. At this moment, I'm questioning myself and wondering what am I doing wrong? Why can't I win? What e...

September 4, 2009 | comments (6) | 1st Challenge - Personal Challenges

Feeling a bit funky

I've been in somewhat of a funk lately and I have a sneaky suspicion the culprit is allergies. The foggy-mindedness has returned which means throughout the day I walk around aimlessly forgetting things I have to do. I've been working double-time on keeping up with what I need to accomplish when just a couple of weeks ago I was doing that with no problems...I was highly motivated and strong! The downside to all this is that I feel...

August 27, 2009 | comments (4) | 1st Challenge - Personal Challenges

Bella's Butterflies

On last nights talk show Bill talked about Butterflies and how they represent transformation. I wonder whatever happened to the FROG? Poor little froggie! Anyway...in my first few weeks of my transformation I felt like things were changing so strongly inside that I wanted something to represent how I felt and what I was becoming. I was cleaning out my laptop and came upon a folder labeled "Butterflies". In ...

August 14, 2009 | comments (5) | 1st Challenge - Notable Progress

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