Bill Phillip's | Transformation

I think sometimes hanging onto the known can be more easy to do than letting go and grabbing for something new even if we believe the new would be better... simply because it is unknown... it could be worse... that kind of thinking can help keep a silly monkey trapped.

Hi Bill and fellow "Transformers" =) Your traps are very much like mine... but beginning TODAY, instead of using self-condemnation when caught in an emotional/food trap I'll just smile and say... "LET GO, you Silly Monkey!! " Go4it, Diane

My Monkey Trap is perceived perfection. Sometimes if I don't eat perfectly one day then I feel like the entire day is ruined and I have the potential to spiral out of control for the rest of the day. I need to stop beating myself when I "slip" or make a bad choice. I need to practice progress, not perfection! Thanks Bill. Lisa

I have my hand wrapped around the idea "I can't, so why even really try." But this leads me to engage in low-level habits. Because I have refused to let go, I face the dire consequences of living poorly. This post has inspired me to want to learn how to let go of my poor self image and live a better life. Thanks Bill!

One of the traps I found myself believing for so long was, "If someone had a beautiful body on the outside then automatically it is implied that they would choose to dress, act and participate in ungodly behavior - because of their outward beauty." Therefore if I am NOT physical "attractive" then I would NOT be tempted to particiate, act or dress in an ungodly manner. Wow! How ridiculous is that belief! But I believed it nontheless. I would see beautiful women on the outside with flat stomachs and sculpted bodies and want my body to look strong and healthy like theirs but then I would look at the immodest dress and unholy actions of so many people in the realm of fitness and feel as if the physical appearance strictly dictated the actions on the outside and somehow they were innertwined. Therefore wanting to be Godly and Holy before God, I created a "straw man" so to speak that has kept me from digging deeper. I still struggle with this belief somewhat but through consistent awareness and watching healthy people strive to live for the Lord it helps me to build a new belief. I know that the price I pay for holding on to this belief will be a shorter life span and a lack of happiness in this earthly tent - flesh. I know that by NOT choosing healthy choices and continually feeding my mind with Godly ways that I will suffer consequences either today or in the future. I AM letting this belief go!!!!! Godly women CAN and SHOULD have healthy bodies so that while we exist here on Earth God's word can be taught and shared to a dying world. God bless. =) Teri

My monkey trap is very simple and also very complicated. I’ve thought about this for quite a while. (My middle row of my keyboard on my computer quit the last week…..so this is my first chance to post anything.) I went in to detail on my blog. In a nutshell it’s hard to let go of something that physically (etc) haunts you 24 hr a day. I know it’s been a monkey trap for way too long. The resentment I have is not good. I could and should use this energy for positive instead…. My only thought is I can’t change it, but I can change the way I perceive it. I’m grateful time has also helped. I’m grateful I have an opportunity to better myself with Gods help. I’m grateful that I’m alive. Through transformation, I think it will enable me to continue to grow and learn, and to perceive this (monkey trap) totally from a different aspect. -Terri

Wow I realized I have several monkey traps. I have moved back to a place I used to live years ago, when I was fat and unhappy with everything, when I moved back I felt like I was that person all over again, I am not that person anymore. Another is a limiting belief that nothing will get better, because I don't deserve to have things go my way, because I am not good enough, I deserve to suffer... working on this one. :) another one is resentment, I resent my husband for losing his job, I resent myself for past decisions and i resent my ex for tricking me and myself for falling for it and not being smarter. I realize my limiting beliefs are incorrect, it took me a long time to even realize I had these beliefs. Thanks Bill, you will always be one of my heroes, you have changed my life with the Body For Life program and now I am moving toward even more change. I feel very optimistic about the future :)

The Monkey Trap for me is a FREE day or a reward binge that goes on a little longer than planned. I work so hard and meticulously planning my meals, charting my workouts and then when I let go . . . I overdue it on high fat foods, exessive drinks and I miss some workouts. I hold onto this fruit because for some reason my mind lies to me. It justifies getting back to "normal". I must choose to create a "new normal" and let go of this fruit. Thank Bill for the wake-up call.

Since I've been on this site for 18 months I don't always think of the traps that I'm still in. But, sometimes I realize after the fact when I've conquered the problem. This summer I traveled in my car for 4 days and in the past I'd aways made that my free day because it was so hard for me to count and be accountable. I also like to eat when driving, it keeps me awake. So, because I'm stubborn about keeping the new me. I had to have a plan. And, what was fun was that my kids told me that they felt better because they were eating good snacks too. I can say that I am ever greatful for this site and all the changes I have made because of Bill and the individuals on this site. This is an everchanging place where we can continue to grow.

I can sum my monkey trap in two words: food arrogance. I do great with food including a weekly meal plan, buy groceries for the plan, pre-prepare foods, pre-portion foods and so on. And then I start to think I'm good at it, I don't plan and prepare as much and before I know it I'm skipping meals and then eating bigger meals. Thankfully I don't binge on junk! I notice the food arrogance when my workouts are not as intense and when I am less focused in general. Food arrogance! --Vicki

I've read this a few times and have been contemplating my monkey trap. It's one really bad habit. I'll go off-track on my food. At night is my gourd of choice. I too often go for a second of something. Not every night, but more often than not. I do see progress, but not like I should. Today is a new day. I will from this day forward, walk away from my gourd. No more monkey trap for me. Crossing my fingers, making a resolution, starting over again. My challenge has come to an end. Wanting to start over again. Looking forward to more progress. Carmen ;~)

I think Bill hit on it with me when he talked of the trap of that's-just-the-way-I-am. I know logically that I can change. I did it once and let myself fall back into my old habits of eating unconsciously and not training. I actually catch myself thinking that I have always been fat and always will be fat. I even make jokes about it with my students (small objects orbit around me, the talking scale that says, "One at a time, please."), but those jokes are hiding the fact that I'm accepting being fat and out of shape. I have to pull my hand out of that trap and remind myself that only living life to the fullest is acceptable and being lazy and out of shape are not just who I am. They are WHO I USED TO BE BUT WILL NEVER BE AGAIN!

I had just heard this story a few weeks ago and was thinking about how it applied to me. For me it was holding on to a false beliefs of who i am and that i didn't deserve any better. when this was brought to light for me, I then became tested on these believes almost every day.( don't you love how god works) & now the story has come full curcle. Once I realized that they were FALSE belief's. And that I was the one giving them the power, things became clearer. I hope this helps someone. God Bless

I constantly re-draw my starting line because I want to have this "perfect" Transformation. I do all the planning and then when I screw up, I come up with another start time and..... do the same darn thing! I can make big plans with the best of them, but I need to take each day moment by moment and do the right thing. If I get knocked off track, dig right back in.

Great blog. I will have to take time to think of my monkey trap. I am sure I will find more than one.

Love your blog, Bill

It's funny that you use monkeys in this story, raccoons are the same way, but monkeys are funnier aren't they? The only thing that holds any of us back is ourselves, end of story. How we allow others to affect us, our lack of time, our lack of self worth, it all comes back full circle doesn't it to the same thing. WE CHOOSE! Either to transform or stay the same, to commit or not. WE CHOOSE! I love your wake up calls. Thanx

My monkey trap is the way I see myself failing it is my vision in my head and I try to replace it constantly with a healthy vision. I also have a attitude problem I stop caring and say forget it I cant do this. I am always taking bites of this and that between meals I know I’m doing it. Its not like I say oh no a piece of food accidentally fell into my mouth. I have the tools I know what to do I just choose not to use them once I figure out why I do this and have this type of outlook it will be a big step in the right direction. Thanks for all you do Bill you are so generous.

oh my heck, oh my heck, oh my heck. - I need to LET GO......

My monkey trap is my environment. Since losing our home in a flood several years ago, we have lived with my Mother-in-law. We don't exactly have the same ideas on health and what we need to do to control it. It can be hard for me to say no, when she works hard on a dinner of Chicken fried steak and fried potatoes. I feel almost obligated. I have attempted to change her ways of eating, she is still lost in the "meat and potato" is a standard! I have been able to cut the portions and only eat half when she does cook. I do at times do the cooking instead in hopes of swaying the household towards more energy packed meals.

I had read this while I was in the hospital, but I am only able to post this now. My biggest monkey trap is that with the birth of my daughter (my third child), I will find excuses or reasons not to continue my transformation. I She is almost a week old and things are going great. I am tired sure, but I only missed one workout with her and that was day she was born. I am committed to being the best I can be for my family and being healthy, creating a temple for the holy spirit to dwell and work through me. In my heart, I know that this will not be a monkey trap for me, but a blessing to share my love and to guide her and my sons to be healthy citizens contributing to society and being the change. Thank you for this question and analogy. Love you. Shawn

The past week especially I have been really focused on my limiting beliefs and this comes at just the right time as things always do....there is simply too much to write here, I need time to process. But my root trap has always been that "I am not good enough just as I am ". Then from that, sprout what seems like a 1000 more beliefs about myself, whether true or untrue. I always seem to find "proof" that this belief is true as painful as it is to believe. The fear of letting that go prevents me from deserving true happiness and life is always a race to find the next thing to make me feel better about myself. A lot of work to do here. It started in round one but obviously there is MUCH more to do.....Thank you Bill as always, Much Love, Lesley xoxox

Bill, thank you for this blog, and for challenging each of us with the question "What is your Monkey Trap". As soon as I asked myself the question, I knew. My Monkey Trap has been focusing on past events or future events, versus the present. I've allowed myself to dwell on past hurts, then been very hard on myself over them. I'm my biggest critic. I've used past events to form what I believe of myself, instead of using today, in the present, to create exactly who I am right now in this moment. There is incredible, positive power in the moment. I also focused on the future, what was to come. I'm very goal oriented, always striving for the next thing but not being happy exactly where I am now. Well, what about being 110% happy in the present moment, focusing on all my blessings and what I have in my life vs. focusing on what I don't have. The "I'll be happy when..." mentality!!! If I focus on today, on my present moment, and am thankful for it and all the opportunity in that moment for what I have an opportunity to do with that moment, it will help me resolve some of the things that cause me to feel stuck. The present moment also allows me to create my beliefs right now, vs. beliefs from the past that are not serving me well. Bill, much love for how you challenge us to consider, and think, about how we create our being and how blessed we are. Blessings, ~Kim PS: I'm going to go eat grapes and be happy for those beautiful, earth- and sun-grown grapes right now and they'll make me as spunky as you were on Talk Radio last week :)

I had to dig beneath layers of what I thought was my monkey trap to actually find it....and I think my single, biggest challenge in life is the mistaken belief that I can do things better alone and often isolate myself when things get tough. Isolation only serves to make me feel more alone and disconnected from the world. Thanks for this thought-provoking post, Bill!

Hi! I've been struggling with knee issues.... Because of an injury, the jury is still out as to whether or not I will ever be able to run again. Lately, I have had to back way off from my runs and even walking has been difficult. So what have I been hanging on to and refusing to let go of? I have been hanging on to the belief that because I can't run (presently), I can't possibly get fit and strong. And because I have been holding on to this belief, I haven't even considered other options of exercise that WILL work for me! Amazing.... I hadn't really realized I was doing this. Right now -- even with the latest knee issue I COULD be swimming and biking for fitness (along with the weights that I have been doing all along). Ok... I'm dropping the fruit... Swimming tomorrow! As always, thanks Bill! ~Elizabeth!

I'm new to the site today, Bill, but this monkey trap thing got me thinking so I'll limp along and try to share what I came up with. For one thing, I'm glad I've only got 2 arms or I'd have gourds hanging all over the place! My major trap is that I can get easily offended and then bitter. Ugh! that looks so horrible on the written page! In the old days, I would handle the bitterness by eating. 220 lbs later I had a whole new set of issues! I have heard that "bitterness is a poison you drink and hope the guy next to you will die." While I don't handle my monkey trap with food any more my hand is still stuck. The "fruit" that is inside that gourd for me is my sword. I just need to drop it and run to the Lord.

This one has me really thinking. I need to keep working on this one, and will reply with my post when I figure out my monkey trap……I know it’s there….just have to have some free time to think more on it. -Terri

Oh, I still have so much work to do. I am confident in the process, and will stay on the journey for the rest of my life. I need to incorporate what you have to say here into some other things I am thinking about, and will come back to write as soon as I am ready. Bless you! Kimberly

This has been the most thought provoking blog so far for me. I spent three days thinking about what my 'monkey trap' is and realized that my trap is that I get fascinated by the very fact that my hand is trapped! Thank you, Bill!

Monkey Trap? For me it,s when I let hurt become anger. When I GET ANGER IT,S BECAUSE I feel hurt inside.

'I'm not worth it! - That was my Monkey trap - Thanks God I identified it and have gotten over it! (With the help of my friends and T friends!!)... It makes no sense to think that I am not worth it, I am created equal and full of potential (by God) - so why would I not be worth it??? It is of course a crazy thought and crazy situation with a simple answer (a monkey trap) - but for some reason I fell right in to the trap. It may be that I was so focused on a specific solution to a specific issue (weight), that I failed to think around the issue and pull together the answers that in total provided the solution (Mind, body and spirit) - translated to: By going though the transformation challenges, meditation, exercise and a healthy diet - I created the space for ME that was necessary for me to identify my Monkey trap. Interestingly I had just described this same effect as a 'bungee' that always pulls you back to your old self, unless you find that hook and unhook the bungee.

What a great topic--really got me thinking! I think my biggest trap has been periodically falling back on an old and very negative mindset. It's a mindset that says, "What does it matter, anyway? None of this is going to really change who I am, or effect anybody else?" I don't even know why I still get this feeling sometimes, then don't feel motivated to eat right or exercise, or delay other steps that lead me to being happier and healthier. Would it be any different if I had a family? I'd like to think I would be more motivated, but realistically, I'm not even following through with things by myself, so how could I set a good example/foundation for others? So, my monkey traps are negative thinking, inconsistancy and wishing for different circumstances without doing the work to get me into a position to even hope for the better circumstances...

Hi Bill- Since I am sitting in SouthEast Asia, I will suggest the response of a Buddhist monkey to your trap.....and also a main reason that I was drawn to the community of T.com Equanimity adapted from a talk by Gil Fronsdal, May 29th, 2004 Equanimity is one of the most sublime emotions of Buddhist practice. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as "abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will." The English word "equanimity" translates two separate Pali words used by the Buddha. Each represents a different aspect of equanimity. The most common Pali word translated as "equanimity" is upekkha, meaning "to look over." It refers to the equanimity that arises from the power of observation, the ability to see without being caught by what we see. When well-developed, such power gives rise to a great sense of peace. Upekkha can also refer to the ease that comes from seeing a bigger picture. Colloquially, in India the word was sometimes used to mean "to see with patience." We might understand this as "seeing with understanding." For example, when we know not to take offensive words personally, we are less likely to react to what was said. Instead, we remain at ease or equanimous. This form of equanimity is sometimes compared to grandmotherly love. The grandmother clearly loves her grandchildren but, thanks to her experience with her own children, is less likely to be caught up in the drama of her grandchildren's lives. The second word often translated as equanimity is tatramajjhattata, a compound made of simple Pali words. Tatra, meaning "there," sometimes refers to "all these things." Majjha means "middle," and tata means "to stand or to pose." Put together, the word becomes "to stand in the middle of all this." As a form of equanimity, "being in the middle" refers to balance, to remaining centered in the middle of whatever is happening. This balance comes from inner strength or stability. The strong presence of inner calm, well-being, confidence, vitality, or integrity can keep us upright, like a ballast keeps a ship upright in strong winds. As inner strength develops, equanimity follows. Equanimity is a protection from the "eight worldly winds": praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute. Becoming attached to or excessively elated with success, praise, fame or pleasure can be a set-up for suffering when the winds of life change direction. For example, success can be wonderful, but if it leads to arrogance, we have more to lose in future challenges. Becoming personally invested in praise can tend toward conceit. Identifying with failure, we may feel incompetent or inadequate. Reacting to pain, we may become discouraged. If we understand or feel that our sense of inner well-being is independent of the eight winds, we are more likely to remain on an even keel in their midst. One approach to developing equanimity is to cultivate the qualities of mind that support it. Seven mental qualities support the development of equanimity. The first is virtue or integrity. When we live and act with integrity, we feel confident about our actions and words, which results in the equanimity of blamelessness. The ancient Buddhist texts speak of being able to go into any assembly of people and feel blameless. The second support for equanimity is the sense of assurance that comes from faith. While any kind of faith can provide equanimity, faith grounded in wisdom is especially powerful. The Pali word for faith, saddha, is also translated as conviction or confidence. If we have confidence, for example, in our ability to engage in a spiritual practice, then we are more likely to meet its challenges with equanimity. The third support is a well-developed mind. Much as we might develop physical strength, balance, and stability of the body in a gym, so too can we develop strength, balance and stability of the mind. This is done through practices that cultivate calm, concentration and mindfulness. When the mind is calm, we are less likely to be blown about by the worldly winds. The fourth support is a sense of well-being. We do not need to leave well-being to chance. In Buddhism, it is considered appropriate and helpful to cultivate and enhance our well-being. We often overlook the well-being that is easily available in daily life. Even taking time to enjoy one's tea or the sunset can be a training in well-being. The fifth support for equanimity is understanding or wisdom. Wisdom is an important factor in learning to have an accepting awareness, to be present for whatever is happening without the mind or heart contracting or resisting. Wisdom can teach us to separate people's actions from who they are. We can agree or disagree with their actions, but remain balanced in our relationship with them. We can also understand that our own thoughts and impulses are the result of impersonal conditions. By not taking them so personally, we are more likely to stay at ease with their arising. Another way wisdom supports equanimity is in understanding that people are responsible for their own decisions, which helps us to find equanimity in the face of other people's suffering. We can wish the best for them, but we avoid being buffeted by a false sense of responsibility for their well-being. One of the most powerful ways to use wisdom to facilitate equanimity is to be mindful of when equanimity is absent. Honest awareness of what makes us imbalanced helps us to learn how to find balance. The sixth support is insight, a deep seeing into the nature of things as they are. One of the primary insights is the nature of impermanence. In the deepest forms of this insight, we see that things change so quickly that we can't hold onto anything, and eventually the mind lets go of clinging. Letting go brings equanimity; the greater the letting go, the deeper the equanimity. The final support is freedom, which comes as we begin to let go of our reactive tendencies. We can get a taste of what this means by noticing areas in which we were once reactive but are no longer. For example, some issues that upset us when we were teenagers prompt no reaction at all now that we are adults. In Buddhist practice, we work to expand the range of life experiences in which we are free. These two forms of equanimity, the one that comes from the power of observation, and the one that comes from inner balance, come together in mindfulness practice. As mindfulness becomes stronger, so does our equanimity. We see with greater independence and freedom. And, at the same time, equanimity becomes an inner strength that keeps us balanced in middle of all that is. Balance and the middle path; not becoming attached to a given outcome of the present moment. Namaste Bob.

Bill, this monkey trap analogy is so thought provoking. After reading Denise post about it at Transformation Central forum I realized that one of my traps has been my belief that if I could only do more, be more of what my ex-husband wanted, then he would love me the way I wanted him to. I keep reaching for that fruit, over and over, but was always trapped because truly there was nothing I could do to control how he felt or how he expressed his feelings. But I kept trying for years, and it about killed me because I continually blamed myself for not being good enough. What a dumb monkey I have been! LOL! Thanks so much for the thought provoking blog.

I have been thinking about this and how it is different or the same as limiting beliefs...I think the monkey trap is something that we hold onto because we think it is the "fruit", but it is really holding us back. For me, it is the idea, that my work is (and I am) so important, that I have no time to lead a balanced and calm life with a loving partner, and to eat, exercise and have fun! Wow! Even the president takes time off...I obviously get some kind of payoff (egowise) for seeing myself as so indispensable. I am working hard to get the balance that has eluded me for years. II am going to visualize just unclenching the hand...simple, but maybe not easy...Thanks, Bill...Holly

Hi All, I nearly spat water all over myself when I heard Bill give Coach a serve for talking about a 2 pound wieght loss as his monkey trap instead of recognising all the really amazing things Coach has let go off that were far greater traps. The use of these ancient stories prove how little we have changed over the centuries. The search for a higher self is the defining element of man. Those that achieve a better understanding of how to overcome base needs and gain higher insight have always been recognised as wise leaders. I have thought about the monkey trap over the past three days and like many of the wonderful people in the community I have held onto many things in my life for too long knowing full well they were destructive.....this has been true in my professional and personal life... As I have gotten older I have been better able to let go quicker and recognise monkey traps more quickly....I have never called them monkey traps but that is what they were.... One of the great challenges in life is differentiating between letting go and giving up. Not everything is a monkey trap...some things are hard but worth fighting for.... The key message for me in this story is to ask what am I holding onto and is it a monkey trap or is it one of life challenges that simply requires strength and perserverance. My challenge will be to have the clarity of to tell the difference. Kindest wishes Stuart

For years now I have dreamed of becoming a life coach. I have a clear vision of what my style of life coaching would look like and what I would like to do. The dream comes and goes, but it presented itself at the beginning of the year and now again as I am completing my first Transformation. My Monkey Trap relates to my dream of becoming a life coach. Every time I try to make an action plan to make it happen, I think "It will never work. How would I do it with three young kids and home schooling?" So, I do not usually take any action. I limit myself because of my life situation. I am a mom. I do home school. But that does not mean that now is not the time to pursue this dream. If this dream is from God and the path that I am supposed to pursue, it will all work out and be more amazing than I could have imagined.

I'm still working on this, Bill. I'm having trouble with this for some reason. Maybe it is because it seems it overlaps "limiting beliefs" and "giving up the fight". I'm still thinking--------thanks, Bob

This was a really great blog post, it was well put and an eyeopener that made me think about what I have a hard time to let go of. And there is a LOT that I haven't even thought about. I'm very stubborn in many ways (wich sometimes is a great quality) but I also give up to easy in other ways. I guess the wisdom is to know what to let go of and put that stubbornness and energy in to something that matters to you, something that will help you grow instead of things that holds you back. Thank you for this great insight, now I will have some (or should I say a lot of) thinking to do :) Petronella

Bill, thank you so much for the wonderful posts, they always get me thinking, and I'm going to share my thoughts My biggest trap has been the weighting scales.....how can numbers that change so many times a day have an effect on my day and my humour...it really doesn't make sense, but I have allowed those numbers to effect my day and my life for too long. It sounds so trivial, but those scales have had negative and positive unmeasureable power on me, or should I say I allowed them to when I knew no different and wasn't aware of the magnitude of the problem. Coming from a backround of eating disorders those numbers have meant everything...not having confidence in my own judgement or trusting myself alone or my clothes to tell me how I'm progressing, the final decision was always left to the scales. Just this year I let go of the need to weigh myself everyday, and the freedom is wonderful. I am healthier and happier than I have ever been, trusting in myself to make the right food choices, and trusting my eyes when I look in the mirror. If I feel healthy and my energy is good and my clothes are fitting me comfortably thats all the proof I need that I'm making good choices. The weighing scales is not redundant altogether though, it does get used to weigh our baggage before going on holidays. It will be getting a dusting off very soon for our trip to Denver...just counting the days. Thank you so much Bill.

It took a lot of contemplation today to realize what my Monkey Trap is and finally, in an unexpected moment (typical!) it came to me - it was like a slap in the face, really. My trap is that "I don't have enough time". There are others as well, but this is the big one. I allow myself to get overwhelmed with minute tasks that seem to pile up. Then I just stop in midstream and stare blankly at my surroundings until I've wasted most of the day, completely unable to recall what I REALLY did and then say "I just don't have time to do A B or C". And by the time I come out of my haze, the day is done and I really don't have time to do everything there is to do. I go to bed with resolve to "get things done tomorrow" and then wake up and repeat the whole process ad nauseum. I've managed to waste away at least a decade and probably more in this manner. It's quite comical, really, as I write this to realize how ridiculously similar this is to the monkey trap, how obvious it is what I'm doing each day. Thank goodness for awareness!!! Thank you, Bill!!!! I would not have considered this at this point in time most likely. And now that I see it, I can take action to rectify the situation. :) ~Christin

I thought and I thought and there are two very big monkey traps, one is I loved being pregnant with my Mary_Mary, it was uncomfortable, and I couldn't wait to meet her but when she was born I felt like she left me, I gained weight with my pregnancy and still had a belly on me after she was born, and my stomach has never been close to flat ever again. From time to time I close my eyes and remember when she lived inside me, and when I started at t.com I wondered what are you going to do if your belly gets smaller.........I'll face it when it comes. But really I have to face it first. (I'm crying just to type this and I really don't want to share it, it's so darned silly) Ok #2, my father was ill all of my life, he was a mean mean man but I wanted his approval and his love and I loved him anyway, when he had bouts of illness and pain, it was just a part of my life to watch him suffer. Then my brother started getting injured in his life, and at 5 I got hit by a car and my pain started, then in adulthood my other brother became so seriously ill he was having surgeries for years along with a lot of different kinds of treatments. I have never heard of anyone going through as much illness as he did. So it's like a family tradition to be and live in pain and illness, my parents and brother are gone there is only my remaining brother and myself left, when I see myself getting well in my mind, it feels as if I'm leaving them, and then I say (God help me I do) well I say "don't worry, you won't get that well". OMG I need air!!!! Push the button Nana, send!

In my youth, I had a dream of someday being an Olympic Athlete. I lined my wall with Bruce Jenner posters and ate countless bowls of Wheaties cereal. Each night I would look at my Bruce Jenner book, dream of being an Olympic Gold Medal winner and go out the next day doing intense training. This Olympic dream I had as youth is starting to burn again as I transform. The monkey trap I see myself in is that at the age of 43, I seem to have a limiting belief and fear that arises in my thoughts that "I am too old" to go after such a dream or "what event would I train for"? Its time to let go of this, free myself out of this trap and make my dream a reality. I am nothing but potential and the power to create dreams into reality is within me. I will have my critic's along the way but great accomplishments have not been achieved without risk. Not to try or take the risk would be a greater tragedy.

I've been thinking this over more and more. I do still have limiting beliefs that keep me from moving forward - my monkey I guess. In T1 I went from size 14 to size 10, and I haven't been smaller than a size 10 in sooooooo many years (at least 33 years), that I think I am actually having a hard time really seeing myself going down to a size 8. I want to be there, I had hoped to be there at the end of T2, but I just have not had the drive this challenge that I did last time. I feel like I'm up against a wall and I'm not pushing through it. Part of me wants to push through it ... I must push through it because if I don't, I know that I will eventually fall back into old habits and gain again. I'm just not sure if I can push through. The past two weeks my gym was closed for some remodeling and I really slacked off - I only worked out 2 times and only walked 3 times. A couple of days ago I decided to to really be committed to give my workouts 100% during these last 50 days before the Marathon, and I'm hoping that as I get back on track with the workouts that I can push through this barrier I'm up against. I don't want to stay in this place I'm in - I must push on. Lord, I need your help!!! .... Teresa

Also.. I needed to hear "the best is yet to come"!! At 56, I UNDERSTAND this to be true.. but did I really take the time to think about it and BELIEVE IN MYSELF that way. I DO, I DO, I DO!!... and I'll live to 100 always knowing there's MORE... ;)

First, I started thinking that no one could possibly understand my situation and then realized how silly that is and that most of us DO have insecurities and monkey traps. Clearly, mine is fear of rejection which holds me back from some ACTIONS I need to take for personal growth. Or is it the flip side.. holding on to seeking approval.. Probably both, but this is what I've learned about myself. Now I have the "visual" and isn't that just the greatest picture in my quest to LET GO!!.. Thank you Bill.. Love you :) Kathleen

I am stuck. Not sure what the fruit is - fear, maybe? I know I live with blinders on- refusing to believe, in my incredible stubbornness, that time is marching on, that my health is being affected by every spoonful of ice cream and every day I do not exercise. I feel more like an ostrich than a monkey - if I don't see the truth, it cannot come true for me - if I keep my head down and my eyes closed, I can continue to slog on in this muck that's become my reality and not notice life whizzing by...it reminds me of that allegory of the cave by Plato? Where the denizens of the cave all live chained up with their heads positioned so all they see is shadows moving on the wall - and that is their reality - when one of them escapes and returns with tales of the outside world, and - I think he undoes their chains? - they refuse to believe him and continue to live their lives in the dream of the shadows...I feel like one of the unchained shadow-viewers! I don't want to believe that I've lived in a reality that could have been so different and so easily changed....although I so WANT that change...I'm not sure how to let go of that fear...to get my head out of the sand and face truth...

Thanks Bill!! This blog was exactly what I needed after the hell of a tough last night call and a long 1st week at the VA hospital. I’ve started a rotation here and it’s been very stressful. Just when you think things are under “control” life has a fun way of throwing new curve balls. Thankfully under some of the toughest work conditions, I managed to still maintain a clean diet, and squeezed in 3 good workouts into my 14 hour work days; today’s my one day off, ahhh. However, I noticed the negative thoughts that crept in as a very fatigued body and sleep deprived/stressed mind kicked in while on-call. It’s during that “state” that I slowly misdirect my mindset and thinking. The thought that ran through my mind @ 2:15am as I walked the hospital halls to see a patient is one of my limiting beliefs: “3 more years of this is not bad, but to also feel lonely, and just sleep, eat and repeat….(strong long exhale), who’s going to want a relationship with someone when they have work conditions like these?” So as I woke up today, I literally came directly to the transformation community to refocus a bit and definitely found it….. “you silly monkey, just let go…..” Bill, you know it’s a slow process, but I’m learning do so as I transform. Thanks for the always “self-discovering” inspiring words Bill!! ~David

Wow what a powerful BLOG BILL! I think this is one of my favorites! However you have written so many favorites of mine! I am going to CHEW on this for a couple days. THIS one really strikes HOME IN ME. I have some things I need to LET GO OF...and I want to make sure I am AWARE fully of what those things are! THANKYOU! LOL Shari

I've had my hand stuck just like the monkey. A few weeks ago I decided to let go of the fruit. I was holding onto health problems with the thought that once this or that is fixed then I'll get this weight off(or then the weight will fall off). After I let go of the fruit & took responsibility for my health I noticed the weight started falling off. I don't even want to eat unhealthy food, I feel too good now. My hand is out of that jar & it has better things to be reaching for .

Hi Bill. I have used this analogy so many times to help others and to help myself. Thanks for sharing this. It is so true, for all of us!! I recently posted a blog about my pattern of financial challenges ("Does EVERYTHING Relate...?"). This has been absolutely a "monkey trap" for me. This one, I discovered, was bound to my own oppositional stance from some childhood experiences. But taking personal responsibility for creating this pattern myself, and knowing that I can create it differently, is helping me release my almost life-long grip on something that clearly is not working. It is truly our release that allows growth and change. It is OUR choice that lets us out of our own self-imposed prison. Thank you for this timely and important reminder. Pauline

Hanging on to past memories of what I use to be, and thankfully am not anymore; that 13 year old, grossly obese boy who is ashamed of who he is and how he looks. Those thoughts and images still cloud my perceptions of present day reality. In some ways they can be positive forces, pushing me forward in an attempt to bury the past with present accomplishments. But you can never completely burry the past. It’s always there as this distant, faint voice, poisoning my relationships through perceived criticisms that are in fact my own self-criticisms of who I use to be. No, if there’s one thing I’ve learned through the Transformation is that you can never completely burry the past, you must instead let it go. As with the monkey trap, I have to let it go so that I can be set free.

Bill, you have done it again. I some times feel you are inside my head and you are talking only to me. I don't know if it is really a "Monkey Trap", but I'm trying to hold onto my sanity right now. I look in the mirror and wonder how did I ever let myself get into this shape again. I find it hard to let go right now and things just keep getting worse. With all the problems medically that are piling up on me and not knowing where it will end....I keep looking back and holding onto the past and trying not to worry about the future. I just have to let go and pray for the best, but it's hard to do that. Once you have been in that winners circle it's hard to let go of the thought you may never be a winner again. I know in order for me to win this battle against myself I have to let go and accept the fact life some times deals you a bad hand and you have to play each and every hand like it's your last. John

If I changed who I was when I was 28 years old then I would lose the soul connection with my child. She might forget about me and me about her. My soul dances with Krista no matter what. I let the fear of change go.......she is proud of me. My last long run was BRUTAL. Mile fourteen about killed me and my hamstrings. I look up to the "heavens" and see clouds dancing...I gave up the fear and I gave up the fight and guess what happened??? My physical body is changing.....in a HUGE and dramatic way. I am no longer afraid of change...I put that fruit down and pulled out my arm. I am free.........

Thank You Bill, Tonight I listened to what my monkey trap really was and it was ego, it was not admitting you many be wrong, it was fear of what people think, it was fear what how to make things right, tonight I let go and may a simple phone call that helped in alot of my issues ... Love, Linda

One thing I need to let go of is fear of relationships with guys which originates from a fear of intimacy and fear of not being loved. I know I am loved unconditionally already....BUT I still hold onto my past regrets and negative experiences with guys. That is something I am working on in this round of transformation. This sometimes causes me to separate myself from others and gives me a feeling of lack of self love. Yes, I am willing to let it go, because it is holding me back by hurting my self esteem and self confidence in that area of my life, which affects the other area of my life (like the one short leg of four on a table). I feel very strong in my spiritual life and pretty strong in my physical and emotional life, but I need to let go of disliking myself for being promiscuous with too many guys when I was younger and never developing a positive sexual identity (can't believe I'm writing this on a public blog but oh well....openness and honesty are parts of transforming for me...) Letting go of this will give me freedom and more self love and allow for the manifestation of a healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

My trap is doubting I will finish what I've started in the healthy lifestyle department because of my mainy failed attempts. So while typing this, something clicked for me, I have been continuing a healthy lifestyle it just hasn't been perfect but it sure is progress. By all means that does not equate failure yayyyy :) I wish everyone guidance in finding what is trapping them.

My biggest orange I have been holding on was that of a dysfunctional family. In my mind, I keep imagining that someday we will just be a family. I have tried the best I can to make it happen and one day during my first transformation, I actually made a conscious decision to turn them over to the Big Kahuna to protect them and watch over them. I feel so much freer since this decision. It was truly like letting go of the fruit and extricating myself from the wrong unhealthy environment that had become so insane. There is a sadness, almost like a grieving but I want to be the best person I can be and that does not include insanity.

Easy trap for me - trying to be in control. I need to let go and let God. I have been given a second chance in life and almost totally blew it last week. I feel stupid about it, but I made it back. It's a bitch being human sometimes! Love you all.! steve

Hi Bill, I am back again. The Monkey trap is my fear of success. I am filled with power - I know it. It scares me. So, I choose consciously and sometimes unconsciously to remain stuck. I focus on my cant's, age and medical issues which are weights pushing against my power base.The thing is though Bill- this transformation has a way of destroying the negative regardless of how hard I try to remain stuck. So, the Monkey trap is my own projection of negativity. I see it. The key is to hold onto the pathway of light and motility. Love, Ellen

Oh wow - so far I've read about lots of "fruit bits" - fear of future or failure, food compulsivity, egoic self, having all the answers for others, thinking this is all there is, anger, sadness, thinking I can't lose, being resentful, believing what others have told us, disliking exercise, lies about myself and or God, worrying about sustainability, letting illness/adversities win, balancing life, and of course that "age" one. There are several that resonate with me. I'll have to say that my biggest chunk of junk is this: I really still don't believe I will ever be thin again. Period. Who knows what backs that up in my mind - what (or who) is the saboteur? I'm working on that one. What blows me away is - how could I change so dramatically in the first 14 weeks on T-1, and NOT believe? Did I EXPECT the adversities too intensively? I'm really digging in to use the tools you, Bill, have given - and Marty is giving some great guidance too. I'm determined to let go of that forbidden piece of "junk" and be FREE! Thank you once again for the wisdom. Johnnie

My “monkey trap” is that I believe I can develop my body only so much because I am 53 years of age. I am not a 20 year old, or a 30 year old, or even in my 40s. I am bombarded with commercials, advertisements, even the way people talk on this radio show. It is so much harder doing a run at 40. Heck I am 53 and I want to get into the best shape of my life right now. My age has been my limiting belief as to how I can physically develop in the next 9 weeks and for the rest of my life for that matter. I have made really decent progress in the first 9 weeks, and I have been struggling mentally as to how and if I could make the same progress in the next 9 weeks. If I can make the same type of physical changes in the next 9 weeks, I will be in OUTSTANDING SHAPE. I know that, but I haven’t been feeling it in my heart the last 2 weeks. I have now released that grip on my belief, and now know that I can make that changes I want, that I envision. In fact I will make that change. No--wrong again. The next 9 weeks I will surpass how I changed during the first 9 weeks. And I will be in better shape than any 53 year old that has been through this program. Porter Freeman has nothing on me. He was 53 when he won the BFL in 1998. I can make great physical changes to have the body I want and I can pass on that knowledge to others.

This is so cool. I just wrote about this in my blog on July 31st. "I still am sick but I am happy -- and my mind is changing my body. Duh me for not realizing how powerful my emotions are...again. I'm like some kid with my hand in a jar, refusing to let go of this stick but meanwhile missing out on the rest of life. I have been here before. I know this stick. This stick is SO familiar, and so safe. I know every little detail and it feels so comfortable in my hand. Letting go -- just...letting go...can I do it? I think I can. (I think I can.)" The synchronicity of writing this is no surprise. I have often felt so many times, Bill, that you come very close to my heart where I am in this journey. What is in my monkey trap? I know for sure what it is. "I don't deserve to be healthy or happy." I keep talking to that silly monkey but my goodness she is so stubborn!

I've realized my monkey trap this week. I need to reach out and accept my the presence of God in my life. When I wrote the blog about everything coming back to me, what I have realized is that these things and issues I can't understand or resolve are because I am missing the completeness that comes with a healthy relationship with a higher power. I've fought this. Said I don't want to become some crazy Christian. I can do it on my own. Until I become more spiritually sound and grounded, nothing else will happen for me or whatever I do will be so much more difficult. This is ground zero. I need to let go of the belief that I don't need to acknowledge my place in the world as one of God's children.

One of my monkey traps is going back for the fruit when I am at social gatherings weddings ect. I have a wedding that I am in in two weeks and I will have much temptation and bad influences around me that will drink alcohol. So I am going to let go of my old ways and set the example of healthy living.

Fruit salad!!! I need to let go of two fears. First, I need to let go of the fear that I cannot sustain this transformation lifestyle for the rest of my life. I need to believe truly that the changes I am making in terms of eating, exercising, spiritual practices, personal goal setting and assessment are permanent. Since I have yo-yo dieted in the past and incidents have come up in my life that led to taking anti-depressants and gaining a lot of weight from the medications, I still have a little bit of fear that I could relapse and lose all of my progress in this transformation. I don’t give into that fear or ruminate about it, but if I dig down deep, I must acknowledge that it’s still there! The second fear I need to give up is the fear of getting sick. My history shows when I get under a lot of stress, my body breaks down and I get sick. I’ve really been working on this by taking vitamin supplements, talking it out with my therapist (who tells me that people with childhood trauma like mine often struggle with converting stress into physical symptoms), and adhering to the sound nutrition of the EFL food plan. I’ve been sick twice during my 15 weeks of transformation and I am discouraged by that and wondering how I can possibly be sick when I am working so hard to take care of myself? I realized that I have not turned these fears over to God and I need to pray about them. I humbly request that anyone else who reads this also pray for these fears to resolved and released. Thanks so much Bill. BTW my sister still calls me by the nickname “monkey” because I used to climb on everything when I was a toddler. I guess it’s no coincidence that the EFL banana cream pudding is one of my favorite desserts! Christine

One of My Monkey Traps... living in the future. As strange as that may sound I spend the majority of my awareness focused on the future. I spend a concentrated part of each of my days visualizing and then acting on things for a future date. Although this has served me well and has become a valuable tool to leverage outcomes the price is that it draws me away form the moment. The most precious gift of life is the now.. right now. I will work on creating more balance in my awareness to the now and the future vision. After all it is the now that provides the creativity.... the guidance.... of the future. Thanks for another insightful blog Bill!! You continue to inspire and push me to new levels. Much light. Chris Winters

Gosh Bill, I just love your blogs! I have been sick for the past few weeks and this has given me the opportunity to witness a big monkey trap in my life. I have been pushed to do things in moderation or even not at all. Being an all-or-nothing type of creature, this has run havoc in my life. Feelings of failure, disappointment and defeat surface. Perfectionism is insanity for me. And if it worked, then wouldn’t everything be perfect? That’s my monkey trap – perfection. Today, I will learn to release the fist by practicing acceptance and living more gently. Thank you for giving me the chance to share this. Love, Jane

Monkey trap...holding on to the possibility that Godot will come and provide everything that I need...holding on to someone rescuing me from my mediocracy. Price, I don't take responsibility or the risks necessary for greatness...isolation as I am not allowing my light to shine and therefore paralyzing others in my life as well...OUCH! Thanks Bill...another reminder of "give up the fight" Joe, relax, there is nothing to prove here! Be the change! Gogogo>>>Joe

I’m back! I thought to visit and read some comments as you suggested and I found yours. Missed it last night. So.... I am digging a bit deeper and giving it another try :) I cannot relate to a near-death experience, but I can relate to what you describe regarding the spirit existing separate from physical form. For me, it has become aware over time and experience, through raised level of awareness just within the past year and it is something that becomes more clear each day with more experience and growth (level of awareness). For you I imagine it was clear right away at the moment of your near-death experience and then maybe it was confirmed through your experiences and growth following. For me, it’s just been a gradual growth and because of that, maybe a slower process as I had more ability to allow myself to resist and let the monkey trap hold me back. This type of awareness has not been easy to embrace as it opens the doors to more than the world around me could relate to or understand. This is the change that effected my relationships more than anything else. It feels like this awareness, is where the rest of the awareness comes from, if that makes sense. It goes back to the tattoo, which for me was recognizing that I am a soul, more than a body, connected to the universe, connected to you and to everyone and everything. There is more to me than my physical form. I know it now, I believe it, I feel it and confirm it often. It really has been a fascinating journey. One I never would have imagined for me, as the person that arrived here in May of ’08 was far from spiritual. I was a Catholic and went to church, believed in God and did pray, but God was God and had nothing to do with me. So the connection could never be felt. My father was an atheist so that was my other influence. I can tell you, in my wildest dreams, that “giving this a try” (your 18 week transformation challenge), as another attempt at gaining control of my weight (with zero expectation I would make it the entire 18 weeks BTW), never did I expect to look back on the past year and acknowledge the amount of change and growth I have experienced. I LOVE being a SOUL. I LOVE to FEEL. I LOVE to be a FREE SPIRIT, OPEN to share my LOVE, My HEART and MY SOUL with everyone without allowing limiting beliefs to hold me back. I AM ALIVE and I THANK YOU. As always Bill, my heart overflows with gratitude, love and appreciation for you. Living in Feel mode continues to be a state of bliss.

Wow what a great insight. My trap is feeling I can never have a body that will look good, so why really try because it is unattainable. But so far I have been able to eat right and exercise but have not really gone outside of my comfort zone and push to the next limit. Because of the belief that I will never get there. Thanks for the insight, I am my own worst enemy if I don't let myself let go of that thought. Today I let go and escape my prison.

Bill - this is such a great analogy. Someone else will see that monkey and think, if that monkey just lets go, they can be free. My monkey trap contains several pieces of fruit I'm holding on to. One is the feeling that I can not do this long term, that the eating and exercise will be replaced by some other priority or I will lose interest. The second is people expect me to be a certain way and when I act differently, they don't know how to handle it. Then I get sucked into my old negative ways rather than deal with it. Not necessarily eating, but negative thoughts, talk, bashing, and letting the lower self take over. It's my responsibility to have more open honest discussions with those people in my life to let them know I do not want to hear the negative talk or be sucked in to doing it myself. Not only that but to be the change in how I act, react and who I hang out with. It's difficult when it's my best friend and husband though. Thanks again for an insightful blog to think about! Love, Monica

There are many of us who have several "monkey traps". As I was growing up I started to drink at an early age, 14 I think it was, from that point on I associated good times with alcohol. Honestly I don't think I am an alcoholic. I don't have an addictive personality, but it got to the point for me that in order to have a good time I needed to drink. My little brother got married just recently and I was asked to say a few words or share a story of times past. You know, I couldn't think of one story that we weren't drinking or drunk. It got me thinking it is the same way when I talk to old friends. We were either drunk or drinking. That is my "monkey trap"(one of them anyway). I must wash away the thought that I need to drink to have a good time. Since I have had kids I have been in search for happiness, I have moved to different cities, done different jobs, basically searched for happiness. I think of a song title "happiness is not a fish that you can catch". You need to make happiness it isn't hidden under a rock, it is right there in front of you. In your kids, your wife, your family, your pets. You can't find happiness, you have to be happiness it is what you put into life what you get out of it. So I made my happiness here in my hometown where I grew up. Now if only I could get my hand out of this cookie jar..............

Bill, I love the Monkey Trap analogy! It's so true how we hold on to what's familiar and safe no matter how much it inhibits our growth. In my first round I belonged to a great and strong accountability group which served to help me stay focused and grounded. I loved my group and was very proud to be a part of it. This doesn't seem to be the case in round two. Our group numbers are low, some have bowed out or moved on which in turn has placed me at a crossroad. I feel trapped because I want to hold on to the memory of what a great group it was during round one. I struggle with letting go and disappointing the active members. The fear of starting something different right in the middle of a round is nerve-wracking as well. In short, my hand is caught in the gourd and I refuse to let go. Your story reminds me that in order to grow we must observe our surroundings and assess which actions are necessary in order to continue our growth. It's not always easy to try new things, but in the end almost always the right choice. Thanks for sharing this valuable lesson. Greg :)

On the radio show you mentioned "the best is yet to come," but I am not sure I KNOW that. I hear it, I can say I believe it (because it sounds like a great thing to believe) but I am not sure I KNOW that. I think I am trapped in the great lie that I am alone on this journey, that this is all there is, and I am just what I am now, always. Getting past what I am, is proving to be very difficult for me. Like I said earlier, maybe I am just more stubborn the rest?? Kelly said she wasn't letting go of "sad Kelly," I think that's me, too. Maybe I don't want to be better because then I would be expected to be more and do more? Maybe I LIKE being small? That seems so pathetic to say. But, maybe that's all part of the trap?? I don't know. I will keep moving on, though....

Monkey traps are everywhere I look. It is hard to get by them…but I am with the help of this Site. My tendency is to run with my strengths and leave my weaknesses undeveloped. Sometimes that’s fine, when I can organize to make those weaknesses irrelevant through the strengths of others, but most of the time it isn’t fine because the full utilization of my capabilities requires overcoming those weaknesses. As I go through life interacting with external circumstances, with other people, and with my own nature, I have constant ongoing opportunities to come face to face with my weaknesses. I can choose to ignore them, or I can push against the resistance and break through to new levels of competence and strength. The process and sequence of Bill’s assignments, and the act of staying connect with participation on Transformation.com helps me keep PUSHING forward! Sometimes saying, “thank you Bill”, just isn’t enough. But for now, it is my heartfelt offering!

I know what the bait is in my monkey trap. It's compulsive eating behaviors. The trap itself is my fear of failure. It's really odd how true it is. I see it easier in my friends and family members who are struggling with transformation than with myself. They self-sabotage because if they are truly successful in their journey, they will have to maintain weight loss and healthy living. Then they face a fear of not being able to maintain. What is so easy to see in someone else, we find invisible to grasp in ourselves. That is precisely why I have put off completing the assignments. Starting today, I will go back to assignment 1 and recommit to this transformation. When I truly transform my life, I will no longer have to fear my old habits and lifestyle. I will have released myself from the trap.

I am reading a book right now called How God Changes Your Brain...one part of it says that no matter how dysfunctional our thinking or reactions are, up until this point they have helped us survive, and that is what we are wired to do. Survive, maybe....but not THRIVE. I know my biggest Monkey Trap is my limiting beliefs...because not only have I learned to accept them as truth, those around me have....it ripples from my heart to others...and then it becomes their limiting beliefs about me, whether or not any of us realize it. Survise? Maybe...but not LIVING. It is hard to let go of the excuses, because ina dysfunctional way they feel safe because they are known. The Unknown is scary. ....feel the fear and do it anyway....

I think the most profound thing about the monkey trap is no matter how deep someone is trapped- they cannot identify it becasue they are comfortable with it- so they assume it is OK. Others usually can see it as clear as day- but the trapped person has no clue. at all. Wendy

Just woke to find this "Food for the brain," Metaphysical meat my mental molars can masticate upon, How wonderful!!! Thanks for breakfast! I loved both the original post AND your "extra" clarification above. Hmmmmmm now I'm off to get my hand out of the jar! : ))

Hi Bill, Great post. My monkey trap has definitely been holding on to a vision of failure instead of the success I'm seeking. Thankfully this is changing...and in a huge way! I feel like Neo when everyone looks around and asks..."what is he doing..." Morpheus says..."he is beginning to believe!" Thanks Bill! Tino

Uugh! Bill, how is it you always know what to say? I was struggling with this yesterday, and even blogged about it. My monkey trap is resentment. I am very resentful and angry with my husband for trying to pull me back down to the way I was pre-transformation. What I love about your blogs Bill is that you can re-read them every month or even every week and always take something different from them. Thanks Bill, for all you do. God Bless

My monkey trap is my incongruous belief that "I don't enjoy exercising". In reality, when I am exercising, I do enjoy it and am proud of myself for doing it. Why then do I have to force myself to do it, or worse, why do I talk myself out of it? Because, if I hold on to that piece of fruit, I don't have to change.

My monkey trap is trying to find balance in my life. To accomplish this, I am letting of the notion that I have to be perfect in all that I do in order to please order. Thanks Bill. Anita

My Monkey is trap is that i let negativity get in my way. Mentally it causes me to lose focus. I need to work on regaining focus.

I really enjoyed this blog. Thank you. And as usual, very timely. Just in the last few days as I did assignment #10, I realized I was falling short on my goal to train for the Denver Half Marathon. The fruit I was holding on to was an attachment to a specific outcome. I wanted to run like a "real" runner and be able to make really great time. I became attached to wanting this so bad that I focused on it more than anything else. I began my training as planned and made the mistake of going for speed and having a horrible time. I lasted 2 weeks of getting myself frustrated and discouraged. I set myself to fail each day I went to run. I was determined that if I couldn't run like a runner than it was unacceptable. When my body was not responding the way I wanted it to, I felt I was failing. My confidence was dropping and my mindset was becoming weak doubting if I could run at all. After 2 weeks, I quit training. If I did not have the tools to recognize what was happening, to stop and look at what was happening, I would be facing the penalty of not participating in the run. Because I had the tools (thank you!), I bounced back, and I have let go of the fruit and I am looking and moving forward. I will do my best to train and although I will shoot for my best, I will not be attached to any outcome. My goal will be simple and it will be to finish. One of the greatest gifts and lessons learned from this transformation journey is to know that no matter where I am in the process, no matter how far I have come, there is always room for more growth. I believe this with a passion and I confirm it each and every day through my experiences. Thank you Bill for helping me to get here and want to keep going. I am forever grateful.

Bill, My monkey trap was definitly fear, fear of not actually being able to do it 9lose the weight I wanted to lose). And I did realize in round one, moreso now in round two that it WILL be me. I WILL make the changes I need to make and no one will stop me. Things were going good for me, but I still felt incomplete. I needed to lose the weight to feel significant and be the best husband and father and role model I can be (and to show my family I am there for them). I am still working on the weight I want to be but without any Fear that I can't do it--It is possible and it WILL happen. That's the attitude I have going forward because I let go of that fruit--I believe in myself now and I believe in others, and they also believe in me. Thank you again Bill for all you do. Thank you, Brian

This is a reality check blog Bill. So thank you for giving this message to us all. This subject has been on my mond lately. I have lost 25 lbs. this month. But I have come to a sudden halt wiith my weight loss. My body has a new set point and it is fighting me to stay right on the new weight number. I have to be honest with myself and admit that I have been falling into some old snack habits lately. I think that subconsciously, I am having a fear of the unknown, meaning that my life at a new lowest weight is unchartered territory. Somehow I must be fearful of what my life will be like even though I know it will only improve. I feel like I did when I was a child learning to swim. My fist dive into the pool was so frightening. I didn'tknow what would happen when I did it. So I stopped just before I dived in every time. One day I finally did it successfully and the fear left. I decided it was fun after all. So maybe this weight loss is the same. I havent been under 200 lbs. in a long time. I am just a few pounds away from crossing the 200 line and marching toward my goal of 145. Maybe you might have some ideas as to how I could let go of this fear of a new life. I really want to finish my goal. Let me know what you think. Cheryl

For me it is sabotoging my success. I start to see great results then fall back into overeating. It is a constant struggle within. I am doing better but I need to allow the success and be okay with it. I am working on this by writing. I know I need to get to the bottom of the issues to find out why success is so difficult for me. I am still in the race and will continue moving forward as I embrace each day. I have a dream and a goal and it is worth achieving. If it takes baby steps at least I am still walking in the right direction. thank you everyone for sharing!

Thank you so much for another amazing topic. For me it is giving my time to things that do not have a long term outcome that traps me. I find that I need to continue to commit and focus my time to people and things that not only have an outcome but are with and for people that are deserving of it. I am only on assignment 5 but on week 10 so I know it is vital to parallel the assignments and the progress each week. -Andrew

Trauma memories that I'm working through with EMDR. It's very very hard work but I'm more than willing to get them go, I can barely imagine how much head space and happy feeling room that will leave in my brain and my heart to be put to better use. I've been working on it since I was 12 years old, sometimes monkey traps take a huge amount of time and resources to work through.

Bill, This is such a sticking point for so many of us. I would say my trap has been the thinking and feeling that "the good times" are in the past and feeling the pull on my strings by the puppet master of mediocrity, but I know I am better than that, much better. We all are.

I just don't care anymore, I used to though. I used to be a great motivator and folks looked up to me. What does one do when they just don't care anymore, how does one get motivated when they have fallen into an abyss?

Thanks Bill, as always you definitely deliver the one two punch! =) Mine was fear, fear of not knowing what will happen to me in the future because of my past but when I finally let go of my past and took a hold of my present then I knew my future was going to be brighter. =)

I am afraid if I change maybe people who love me now will not love the new me, afraid of that and it keeps me being the same. But are we ever really the same

Hi Bill, love the post and the thoughts being expressed. I had to think hard ... my monkey traps have come in many forms; including vices and expressions of pride by actions or demeanor. I desire to live purposefully to help people without reserve ... my fear is that of loss of control and of the unknown. Objectively I know that all I really control is my reaction to events/stimuli ... I don't really control my job, staff or kids. I can guide but not control and yet I have a self image of being strong, reserved at times and in control. I'm afraid of being too open, too transparent or vulnerable. This community is an exercise for me of those "dare" muscles ... I'm getting stronger. Thank you! -J

My biggest monkey trap would be my fear of becoming my better, best self and in the process alienating some friends and family.

Wow, I read that and boom I burst into tears, My Monkey trap .... It is amazing how your mind travels immediately to what hurts you. My mind went right to the deaths of my grandparents late last year and the guilt I feel at not being able to be there for them at their end time... They asked ....and to the stress and pain in the relationship I have with my children and letting them go their own way. Letting go of the anger and pain in those relationships so that the healing can begin. Letting go of my children so that they can make their own way. It is kind of like a wound that you keep picking at. I was DYING for the opportunity to grab on to something positive... BFL came along 6 weeks ago it was a life line... Perhaps it was divine intervention... My life felt like it was spiraling out of control... I had so many choices in front of me... Wonderful positive choices... And all I felt was pain... sadness...and depression pulling at me... I knew I needed to change.. I felt like I was drowning and emotionally the walls were closing in on me. Six weeks have gone by since that day... I feel stronger... I feel more empowered ..I finally feel and see that I have to let go of the Fear, anger and pain so I can heal. My monkey trap...Fear, Anger and Pain.... And it is time to let it go. Tammie

Bill, there is a chldren's book called The Little Engine that Could. A favorite line is "I think I can, I think I can....". This reminds me of the The Monkey Trap.Thank you for your straight talk. It's helping me by the way. Ellen

My "monkey trap" is my ongoing struggle with taking EVERYTHING people say so personally that I completely bite their heads off. My kids unfortunetly are the ones that get the brunt of this...I'm being honest and it's so hard to admit that. They don't deserve my baggage to be thrown at them all the time. My hubby gets some of it as well. Their comments, their answers to my questions, suggestions they make, etc...no matter what it is, I seem to always take it as a dig to my intellegence and just lose it. This is a great blog for me today!!!! I'm ashamed to say I don't read these very often...I won't let that happen again as it is exactly what I needed to read tonight. I HAVE to remember to let go of the fruit when I sense that I'm taking something out of context.

The visual is what I needed.. I need to let go of the thought that I keep telling myself I don't have time to work out. I need to MAKE time. It is really pathetic and I know it. I know I need to put it on my calendar (which I have) but I "dismiss" them daily as they come up and I do things for the rest of my famliy. I want to put myself first, and in many respects, I do, but in this one, I haven't been good about it. I also need to do it for health reasons. I have three bad discs in my back and they are beginning to hurt me again. My doctor told me I needed to loose weight and excerise daily to keep it in check. I have been great with the loosing weight, but for some reason can't let go of getting myself to realize that it is okay to take time away from my husband and girls to do something for myself daily.

One thing that has become very clear to me over the last two weeks. Happiness is just an attitude. Attitudes can be changed, and I HAVE changed my attitude. I don't remember ever being this deep down happy in my entire life.

I am revisiting holding grudges and resentments. I recently got my feelings hurt in a place that I thought I was safe to share how I truly felt. The response I got made me feel rejected as a person. It's been a sick feeling in my stomach ever since, a sadness and some anger in there too. I have withdrawn myself a little and still feel vulnerable, not sure if I want to open myself up again. I am not sure I am ready to let it go yet, but your blog made me aware that I still need to deal with it and that I am not back in harmony yet. Juliane

Great blog!!! This is such a powerful metaphor. It's amazing how many monkey traps I find myself in because I'm unaware of them in the first place. This is the undoing of narcissism!

Let go or be dragged.

Bill, I will share my thoughts on this right after the show tonight--This is a great blog and I appreciate all you do and your great insight---Show's starting--I'll be back. Thank you, Brian

I believed I could not lose weight. I believed I could not be healed.I believed I did not deserve to be healed. When I trusted God and surrendered the results, I was healed. When I stopped my limiting belief, I cannot tell you what I am doing is different but I am 9 pounds lighter, ever since Shawn decided to lose 25 pounds till Denver. How did this happen? All I can say is ,I let go of the fruit. I took my hand out of the jar.I refused to be trapped and the weight is dropping off. I am no longer struggling with it. Yesterday I was working with a woman who has bags of Chocolate in the back of our office. I had to go back there. I looked at the bag. I was tempted. I had worked out hard that morning and did not bring a second meal with me. It had been 3 1/2 hours.I was hungry. A voice in my mind said.."How much do you want it??"(...want to be free of the jar??) I said.".A WHOLE LOT!!!" and I walked out of the area and just stayed out of that part of the office. My spirit has become the leader of my body instead of my appetite.I don't listen to my mind telling me Rational Lies (rationalizing)in the morning when I want to go back to sleep instead of the gym. It suddenly has become important to me to become strong. This Transformation is not as much about developing a strong body as it is about developing a strong spirit. It has begun.

Great, Bill - thanks. I'm just about to commence my second BFL challenge. I just bought your Eating For Life book - and promptly went out and filled my pantry with most of the non-perishables to make most of the recipes in the book. No problem finding just the right food in my house this time out ;o) It really is a great book. Also - I love the way things come to you when you are open to receiving them. I have been somewhat stuck on both 'My body will never change' and 'I don't deserve to be happy'. After reading this blog, I wrote out some very powerful affirmations for myself which I just went and taped to my bathroom mirror, the fridge and on a postcard on my bedside table and in the side door compartment of my car. I am also prompted to go back and read up on Limiting Beliefs. Richard Bandler (co-creator of NLP) did some incredible work on this subject - check out Frogs into Princes, The Structure of Magic, Using Your Brain for a Change or Reframing. I have a great feeling about my transformation this time out - thanks again Bill :o)

Oh ... i didnt think I'd 'feel the spirit' on this enough to put words to this publicly .. but here it is .. i'm holding onto the "Sad Kelly" .. that's a sore fruit with lots of wounds and i seem to be scared that if i let her go, i'm saying she wasn't important?! maybe ?! I cradle her all the time, and when I feel the happy bouncy bug has been inside me too long i go in search of the sad kelly to keep her close ... until i release her i will never truly be the happy bouncy person i know i am ... am i ready to let her go ... i WANT TO BE READY!!

My personal trap was thinking that my physical transformation would somehow maintain itself, if I merely kept up with the workouts. Over the last few months, my mental work has slipped and I've noticed how it has affected my body as well (of course!!) Since committing to Denver, I've been able to again embrace the mental exercise that is such a powerful part of this journey. I'm so thankful. My trap was getting lazy! I love though, that this experience constantly brings new learning. Love the blog! thank you!!

Bill, as you know there were several things in my life that I wouldn't let go of. I thought I would, but somehow I managed to always go back and pick them back up. When I was finally able to let go of that poisonous fruit, I was able to become healthy in my life. I do believe we will have that temptation presented to us often and it is up to us to pass it by and let it go..You recently spoke of hurt feelings and dealing with them. That is one of the things that I seemed to want to grab a hold of often. The poisonous fruit of needing acceptance. My intentions have always been good. I've always wanted to do things to help others. But when I got into my depression and self hate, when someone would hurt me, I would turn into what could best be described as a wild animal backed into a corner. I would lash out and try to hurt them back as much as they hurt me. By doing what you speak of above, letting go, opening my hand and dropping that fruit, I am able now to respond to those attempts with sincere well wishes and prayers for their healing. Thank you for helping me with this Bill with your lessons you provided to get me to where I am happy with who I am and I am happy with the way I respond. I'm not perfect but I know my heart and I know my intentions and they are good. I no longer hate and I no longer lash out. Life just keeps getting better. Thank you Bill. Much love & gratitude for your part in that! Carolynn

To me, what's awesome about Bill's blogs and the Challenge assignments is the generation of thought that I have never had before. I've never thought about myself enough to realize many of these things. Self-knowlege has truly been liberating for me. I have voiced my trap to my wife recently and we are building an attitude to overcome it. My trap is fear - the fear that after I successfully complete my Transformation I will revert back to my old self. This is still a strong aspect of my being. Realizing now that it is a deadly trap will liberate me. Simple and fantastic Bill. Thanks again. Dan

Hey, someone baited my monkey trap with chocolate. I'll just sit here until it melts, then lick it off my fingers! Love your message Bill. Love your spirit. Thanks for sharing your insights and helping to set us free.

Okay Bill, I am letting go of the Monkey trap that all the good that I desire is out there somewhere, outside myself. When I know better that I am ONE with all that nothing is separate from me, that God is not some *thing* up in the sky looking down judging and so on.....I know that God is within all, everywhere present, all powerful, and all knowing, within me, within you, within everyone....that everything I could possibly desire is mine right here, right now at this present moment and I let go of the limiting belief that it is somehow OUT THERE or that I need to DO something to accept all my GOOD, all my good is right here, right now in this present moment because there is no past or future only, now....I am an eternal being.....full of light, love and joy.....I AM all that I want and desire. How was that! Love Thia

Great, Bill - thanks. I'm just about to commence my second BFL challenge. I just bought your Eating For Life book - and promptly went out and filled my pantry with most of the non-perishables to make most of the recipes in the book. No problem finding just the right food in my house this time out ;o) It really is a great book. Also - I love the way things come to you when you are open to receiving them. I have been somewhat stuck on both 'My body will never change' and 'I don't deserve to be happy'. After reading this blog, I wrote out some very powerful affirmations for myself which I just went and taped to my bathroom mirror, the fridge and on a postcard on my bedside table and in the side door compartment of my car. I am also prompted to go back and read up on Limiting Beliefs. Richard Bandler (co-creator of NLP) did some incredible work on this subject - check out Frogs into Princes, The Structure of Magic, Using Your Brain for a Change or Reframing. I have a great feeling about my transformation this time out - thanks again Bill :o)

I still believe I can't run. It is no real comfort that I am getting better at it. I still believe in my head that I will never be a runner, even though I am running...The proof is in the pudding, but my mind does not grasp the results as anything good...It's my brain that refuses to accept reality...

The problem of the monkey trap for me is....well to be honest I am like that monkey, I think the (fruit) in the trap is worth having, live or die for it, I guess that seems like a weird way to look at it, but I tend to think that some things I have let trap me are good things and that they are good for me...when it really isnt healthy, I too am an all or nothing type personality at times and that is hard when I stumble, but through the transformation I am experiencing, I feel like I am finally letting fear of failure go for the first time in my life and I am even going to go back to school and conquer that fear and the thought that since I am almost 35 that I waited too long, I can really do anything now, and I know that God has a plan for me and that there is fruit out there that well, will just simply not trap me and I can actually enjoy every successful bite of it, thanks Bill for the blog- hugs and prayers, Christie

Great blog, and lots of food for thought. I think my monkey trap is that I've been trying to work out and eat right for 17 weeks now, I've been consistent and have seen some results, but my mind seems to hold on to the fact that this is how I am, and this is as good as it gets (physically). I know that is ridiculous, but that's where I am. Now, I just need to get rid of that limiting belief......

I am a stubborn, stuck monkey. :( Logically, I realize I am stuck and I realize I have the power to "let go" and move forward, but yet I am not doing it. What do you do when you just WON'T do it?? I am not even sure what it is I am holding on to, so that's part of the problem. I am stuck, stuck, stuck! I won't give up, but right now I am just not seeing that fresh perspective, and I am getting too tired to try anymore. I am sorry this is not enthusiastic or uplifting, it's where I am right now. Thank you for giving me something to think about, though... I am not quitting....

You're right! Reading other responses really is enlightening! You stated "What price will you pay emotionally and physically if you don't release your grip on [your monkey trap]?" Bill, this is very timely. I just recently took on a new and exciting position that has me using my persevering capacities to the max! I love it! And my new manager and I are 2 of a kind! The good news is that we both understand that self-care is critical to survive our dirve. We had a discussion about this topic just this afternoon. I guess you could say the word is 'accountable' - that we are getting each other's back to ensure we get our workouts in. Food (thank God) is not my monkey trap any more - and my beliefs about my physical capacities have grown by leaps since starting Transformation. My drive is my monkey trap that can throw me off balance if I am not conscious of it! Remaining open and accountable really does help catch these potential traps - and allow me to release my grip. Letting go is as critical as eating right and moving right!! Thank you for helping me realize this!! Off for my walk!! Love MaryPat

I am a stubborn, stuck monkey. :( Logically, I realize I am stuck and I realize I have the power to "let go" and move forward, but yet I am not doing it. What do you do when you just WON'T do it?? I am not even sure what it is I am holding on to, so that's part of the problem. I am stuck, stuck, stuck! I won't give up, but right now I am just not seeing that fresh perspective, and I am getting too tired to try anymore. I am sorry this is not enthusiastic or uplifting, it's where I am right now. Thank you for giving me something to think about, though... I am not quitting....

tHIS is an inspiring blog(as normal) and I've sat here for a long time thinking ... and I believe I having the hardest time letting go of my 'armour of fat'(even thou that's WHY I'm here) it protects me from being me(or that I think is me) I'm very afraid I won't be able to 'control' myself (like in my past). I'm working at this issue but Thank you for making me 'write it out'. Now I'll be able to cleanse myself of this. Thank YOU BILL. Kathi

My current monkey trap is over-coaching my wife in her transformation. I keep jumping in to suggest things that she should do, rather than letting her do things at her own pace and from within herself. I do it because I love her and want to help, but I know I need to let it go and just be there for when she needs me. I find I've been able to let go of this when working with people in this community, but it is harder to do with my wife because we are so close. Thanks for the fantastic blog Bill. Cheers, Paul.

Let me see if I can help... here is an example: For 35 years of my life I believed that the nature of consciousness was bottom up--that the physical world (including the human brain) gave rise to awareness and the collective consciousness. In a moment of clarity provided by a near-death experience (tell you all about it sometime) I suddenly realized that consciousness/spirit exists separate from physical form. Therefore, the nature of consciousness is top down--the formless creates the form. And it is that one consciousness that becomes self aware in you and me that notices itself noticing itself in the eyes of others. What a trap it is to be stuck at the level of belief and limited awareness that we are separate from one another and all of life for that matter. What a trap it is to believe at any level that we are each our bodies and/or our minds. What a trap it is to fear the end of physical existence. How liberating it is to see and know that there is only one eternal life, awareness, consciousness... and that we are all branches on the same tree of life. Okay, now you try...

Thank You Bill. My "Monkey-Trap" is holding onto the "me" that is not working for "Me" because it's the known. You are amazing.

My monkey trap is fear of letting my old self go. The old controlling, low self-worth Tonia. I am afraid of how people will treat the new me, will I be good enough, thin enough and on and on. At least with my old self-destructive behaviour I know what to expect- eh? I am afraid to open myself up, I am afraid to let my guard down. I know this causes me inner stress and I also learned that I must say good-bye to the old me and embrace the new me with open, loving arms. I need to trust myself more, it seems I am always searching for the next thing b/c I don't seem to be making the progress like I should. It's funny b/c I was thinking abut htis topic a couple of hours ago, not necessarily the monkey trap but along those lines. Tonia

Awesome Bill, I feel that I am transforming well in the physical health department, I have let go of the fruit (fast food, sloth, etc) 95% at least, so that is well....there are other areas that I have been hanging onto the fruit in regards to limiting beliefs like *poverty consciousness* this ones seems to be at the forefront I am working on right now...and I feel I am seriously in the process of letting go of the fruit....I am working it out and feel calm regardless of what the exterior looks like and just focus on belief, the end result.....I absolutely love your analogies they really help to see what is truly happening, this message of letting go is coming at me in so many directions in the last little while it truly is astonishing and I am LISTENING and know it is transforming me from within.....thank you for transformation, love you to pieces Thia

My monkey trap is fear - fear of never being able to do enough. I have always had a "Go big or go home" attitude which does not create a balance. Even when I give it my all, I tend to wish I had done more bc then maybe a situation could have turned out differently.... Now I am focusing on relaxing & letting the burden of fear go, and simply 'being.' P.S. Poor, poor monkey. =p

I love this blog, Bill! I had heard the story before of the monkey trap, but had never thought to apply it to my life. I think the thing that's been holding me back is my negative self talk (that I didn't even realize I'd been doing). Now that I've become more aware of it and have been letting go, I'm finding much more peace, joy, and fulfillment (I am no longer trapped!). I just have to keep making sure that if I do put my hand back in the box, that I LET GO of the fruit each time! Thanks for making it such a clear visual. - Melissa :)

Wow beautiful as usual!! I know I have said this before but I absolutely love your writing!!!I have to say every 18 week Transformation I dig deep and find the fruit I have not let go of and have found lots of success that way as I write it down!! The writing it down as a goal I have found critical!! The one I am working on now is balance in my life!! I can be all or nothing at times Give all my attention in one place and ignore other places That is the fruit I am letting go of now!! Thanks Bill!! Marty

What a nice surprise, when I went to read my blogs...there is this one. I have a couple of things that I am not sure are fruit or not, I guess if I were the monkey and couldn't decide, I would be caught. I let go of a lot of things since January 4, and I feel more free. Clarissa's ego list is an entire group of things that I have made a point of letting go of this transformation...and you are right...I no longer pay the price that I did before. It sure makes my life (lol, and everyone's around me) a more pleasant place to be.

LOL, I like the visual Image Bill. Reminds me of a Racoon grabbing something shiney. I'm still intimidated by the idea of a 13 mile run! I'm just kind of hung on the fact that, it WILL be the longest distance I WILL have ever done. It seems like I'm struggling to break past 6 miles in my training runs. Justin

This is such a great blog and I have so much I'd like to share!!! Agghhh but I am out the door to cirriculum night at the girls school! But I will think about this and post later! Thanks for all of the wonderful insight and thought provoking material you give us Bill!