Bill Phillip's | Transformation

Running in Dark Places

I run at 4 AM or so every morning. The place I run does not have much traffic, it is not well lit and I usually pay little attention to cars passing by. This morning though a group of motorcycles came roaring by. They had loud exhausts and it kinda woke me up and made me pay attention...In the back of my mind I was thinking...You know bikers, even in the early morning they could be looking for trouble...Of course they weren't but still I paid attention to them...

The difference in a Prius driving by and a group of motorcyles driving by when you are in a dark place alone would make almost anyone see a difference in potential danger, No offense to Prius owners, but I would not ever be afraid of a Prius owner unless he was trying to run me over in his car...Then I wouldn't really be that afraid. But a group of bikers? Yes I would be afraid if they stopped their bikes to talk to me...You see we all have this self preservation gene in us. Really we all want to live..

But I can tell you that there was a time in my life that I didn't want to live. I was running in a dark place. I was challengeing death to come take me if he thought he was big enough. I was defiant. I felt like I had nothing to gain from life. I lived like that or several years. I wanted to die and did not care how or when. I was provoking death with my lifestyle of overeating and neglect. Yes, I was going to provoke the bikers into killing me so to speak. I was in so much mental pain and did not care if I died in that dark place. But somehow I woke up and decided I wanted to live...

The fist thing I had to do was get out of danger by getting out of that dark place. I had to change my mental outlook on life. I did this by reconnecting with people who cared about me. I started studying about my disease (diabetes) and how to get my blood sugars under control. I got off my butt and started moving again...It was my first steps in a long long journey that is still going on to this day. I am now in a light and loving place with a great wife and freinds. I don't allow my mind to go into dark places with negative thinking and destructive habits. Yes I want to live and prosper. I no longer want to die...

Death is a funny thing. You can stare it in the face and not be afraid if you are either strong in faith or weak in the will to live. Now I am defiant against death through faith not through an uncaring will to live. That is a huge difference...It's like that biker gang stopped and wants to tangle with me. They may kill me, but now they will know they were in a fight. Death will not take me anytime soon bcause I dont have a will to live. Yes death knows I have a huge love of life and I want to inspire others out of that awful and destructive place of darkness...

So eat right, exercise and live a full life. Stay out of those dark places...

Who knows, a Prius owner may snap and want to run over you...