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RogueCreature's post
Back to the hospital...
Last Night my Dad was admitted to the hospital for the 8th time this year related to heart problems (CHF, HT, & Atrial Fibrilation).
Bummer. He was eating ok for awhile when we are around, and then he simply stops and reverts. I think he has a lack of consicousness for what they are asking him to do (control calories and salt intake). I think hes going through total system shut down. His fear to do anything for fear of further health ramifications seems to hold him back. It is almost as if he has given up
Hes starting to put on a show face for my sister and I. We ask him how he is doing he is "good" We dont know if this is b/c hes "dad" and wants to appear strong 100% of the time, or if he is afraid of sharing his true feelings or both
I have a bit of a summer bug myself at the moment. I want to see him but my own fears are holding me back. I am prepared as best as I can be for his death. I think I need to ask him if he is ready to go and what he thinks will happen (growing up, he was always a bit of an Atheist). Hes only 60. Such a shame
Hang in there Dad
It is a shame. This life is so precious and for someone to consciously make the choice to not live it to it's fullest... we can't understand... we can only use the example for how we want to or don't want to live our lives. I hope that doesn't come across callously - it is definitely not meant that way. Plus, it's hard to understand why they wouldn't want to stick around for us... makes us question our worth a bit. Don't let that happen, OK?
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