Bill Phillip's | Transformation

Getting Set For Lift Off

It's July third...the day before our great country delared its independence from the British Monarch some 232 years ago.  Our forefathers started this little experment, called The United States of America, on the basis that all people are created equal and each of us is FREE to pursue our verision of happiness.  The results are astonishing:  America has grown into the most powerful Economic and Military civilization in the history of the earth.  In addition, we are the most diverse country on earth.  There can be no question that God created man to be free...America is living proof of what can happen when people are free to choose their own path.

Unfortunatly, far too many of us fail to excersise our freedom.  The reality is we can do just about anything we set our minds too.  But we don't.  We sell ourselves short:  We take jobs that we hate just for the paycheck, we stay in relationships that are unhealthy, we put ourselves in terrible financial shape by spending money we don't have, and we don't take care of our most important asset:  Our Health.  I'm certainly guilty of that last one.  I've allowed myself to balloon up to a whopping 273 pounds!  Just to give you some referance of how much weight that is on my 6 foot 2 inch body, when I graduated Naval Flight Training, some 17 years ago, I weighed in at a solid 190 pounds.  My calulator tells me I've gained 83 pounds over the last 17 years!

It's said that the first step to solving a problem is to admit you have a problem.  That's not an issue for me...I've known for some time that I really do have a big problem.  The fact is, my poor health is over taking every faucet of my life.  My relationship with my children suffers greatly...I simply don't have the energy or strength to run around and play with them.  And becuase I feel terribly guilty for being this fat, I'm sure I'm projecting some sort of guilt complex on them.  I'm ashamed to admit this, but oftentimes I don't help tuck them in or kiss them good night simply becuase hauling my 273 pound ass up the stairs requires more effort than I can muster.  On the weekends, I don't take my son golfing or my daughters skating, not becausee I don't have the money or the time, but because I simply don't have the energy.  And it's no wonder...go throw a couple of 40 pound bags of rice on your back and see how far you can walk without getting out of breath.

I'm really tired of squeezing into my 42" pants.  I'm so tired of having my bbig old jelly gut hang over my belt.  I'm tired of being out of breath from short walks.  I'm tired of being embarressed at the beach and the pool.  I'm tired of worring I'm going to break the next chair I sit in.  I'm tired of not being comfortable unless I'm laying horizontal with by baggy shorts/sweats.  I'm just tired of looking like a slob.  I really am.

My weight also effects my work.  As a Certified Financial PLlanner, I should be helping hundreds of people achieve thier financial goals...and inthe process, I should be earning $400,000 - $500,000 per year.  There are many in my profession doing exactly that.  But I just don't have the energy or the confidence to do thte things I need to do to expand my business.  I can't think clearly and I simply don't have the stamina to work long hours.  So instead of excelling and being the champion I know I can be in this field, I settle for mediocrity...which feels horrible.

At the age of 43, I'm starting to realize my own mortality.  When Tim Russert died a couple of weeks ago, that really got my attention.  I have the same type of body he does...I don't want to meet the same fate he did.  I don't want leave my children without a father...the world is hard and I want to be here to guide them and support them.  On a purely selfish note, I want to hold my grandchildren someday.  Some of my friends are hitting their early sixties, they are starting to really see the toll on their bodies from all the years of not excersising, eating high-fat diets, and drinking too much.  Some of those friends are trying to change...for others, it's too late. 

I guess what I'm saying is that I feel terrible physically, mentally, and spritually...and a big reason for this is my weight.  I often ask myself, how different would my life be if I weighed 190 pounds and was in excellant physical shape.  How would I feel about myself when I meet new people and speak in front of groups?  How much more energy would I have during the day?  How much more money could I make for my clients and myself?  How much more happy and optimistic would I be about my future and my kid's future.

The thing is, I don't know that I've ever truly accepted responsibility for my condition.  I'm always starting one diet or another, but as soon as there is a luncheon at work or a pot luck supper at church or my wife and I go out for a nice dinner...I lose control (or I give control to someone else) and I fall off the wagon and start eating like a high school stoner with the munchies; I grab anything and everything.  I also blame everyone else for my problem but me.  It's my parents fault, it my wife's fault, it the kids, the job, the price of oil...all this stuff is putting stress on me and I have to eat to comfort myself. 

What a load of crap.  I know that is a load of crap...it's an excuse to protect my ego from the simple fact that every single piece of food that's gone in my mouth for the last 25 years was put there with my permission.  No one, not one single person, made me eat anything.  Furthermore, I know damn good and well that I could have gone to the gym and worked out nearly everyday of my life.  The fact is, I choose not too.  I'm not fat because of my genes and I'm not fat because of the stress in my life...I'm fat because I eat too much, I eat the worng things, and I don't excersise my body.  PERIOD.  There is no other reason.

To be honest with you I'm tired of living like an invalid.  I'm tired of being handicapped.  I'm sick and tired of living up to only 20% of my potential.  I'm tired of how these things make me feel. I know losing 85 pounds isn't going to make all my problems evaporate.  I know I'll always have issues.  But I know losinng weight is going to allow me to handle my problems better and make me a better father, husband, and businessman.

This 4th of July I'm issuing my own Declaration of Independence from the fat lifestyle that is destroying everything good about me.  I'm going to kill the small voice, the one that tells me my only comfort is with another double cheeseburger and a scoop of ice cream - that voice has held me hostage for long enough and it's time for it to die.

The change is going to be hard in one sense, but in another it will be the easiest thing I've ever done.  I'm ready to change...I want this...desperately...and nothing in this world matters as much to be as losing this weight and reclaiming my health.  Nothing.  

I'm going to officially start the Body-For-Life competition this Monday, July 7th.  My end date will be September 27th.  My goal is to get down to 190 pounds...it would be great to lose all 83 pounds in one 12 week shot.  But I know that is probably not going to happen.  I'm not sure how much fat I can lose and muyscle can be gained.  My long term goal is to get down to 190...however my goal for this 12 week period is to simply follow the BFL program to the letter.  And perhaps my biggest challenge:  If I should fall off the program for a meal or a day - GET STRIGHT BACK ON THE HORSE!  I've read in the BFL books and Jouranls about people who had to do two or three 12 week challeneges to hit their goals...that will probably be me.  But make no mistake about it:  I am committed to reaching 190.

I'm going to spend the next coupe of days doing the following in preperation for my launch date on Monday:   1.  I'm going to lay out my specific strategies (in writing) for how I'm going to do this.  I need to decide how many meals I'll eat per day, when I'll eat them, and what I'll eat - I want that planned in advance.  I need to decide where and when I'm going to do my 6 workouts every week. 2. I'm going to list out my reason for reclaiming my healt and making permanent changes - I need something to read every moring and every night.  3.  I'm going to put my goals on paper - my wieght, body fat, etc...  4.  I'm going to have my wife take several before pictures.  5.  I'm goign to go have my body fat precentage tested.  6.  I'm going to see the doctor and have my blood work done.  7.  I'm going to complete the BFL application.  8.  I'm going to go grocery shopping and have everything ready to go Sunday, the day before.

That's all for now...I've got a lot of work to do in order to get ready for luanch date.  I'll check back in later this week.

Love and Peace!