I wake up and stare at my alarm clock through the haze of the impending morning. That all too familiar pang of desire grips me and tells me to do it, but I know I can't. What would happen? Would it be so bad? Why can't I just do it today and then never again? My cheeks get hot and I push myself out of bed and straight into the shower ignoring the urge to do it. I won't do it. Not today. Coach Stoney told me to have it hidden from me. I di...
