Bill Phillip's | Transformation

I Am

Hi, I'm Bob, a 46 year old father of 3 and granfather of 1. When I was younger I had trouble gaining weight which led to very poor eating habits. Over the years I slowly started to gain weight and when I gave up smoking I piled on the pounds. I had exchanged one addiction for another I shot from 160lbs to 205lbs in 1 year. In 2000 I knew I had to lose weight. I was depressed, low self esteem, and no selfrespect, and hed no idea where to turn. One day I was shopping and the cover of a book caught my eye. "Body For Life", the thing that struck with me was that I felt as if the man on the cover was looking straight at me and saying "I understand and want to help". The cover of that book haunted me for 2 weeks before I finally broke down and bought it. That night I sat in the corner and read that book cover to cover. I read the stories of people's challenges and the triumphs. The program made sense I was ready to start my 12 week challenge that night, but followed the instructions and circled the next monday as my start date. I completed my 12 week challenge and went from 205 lbs. down to 172 lbs., 3 lbs. under my goal of 175. I kept up the lifestyle for 2 1/2 years, but not as ridgidly. I did gaining back 8 lbs. in those 2 1/2 years. Then suddenly I gained back 20 lbs. in 3 months. In April of 2003 my youngest daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I knew I must do better to and be an example to her, but the more I struggled the the angryer I got I did not have the same success as before. I have devloped into an emotional eater and gained even more weight. I have no self respect, I constantly beat myself up emotionally and the turn to food for comfort in a cycle that just adds more weight and lowers my self esteem. I have turned everywhere and blamed everyone and everything else for my failures. Recently my daughter wrote an article for her school newspaper describing what it's like to be type 1 diabetic. One thing she mentioned was the confusion between type1 and type 2 diabetes, and how angry she gets when people assume that she "just needs to eat correctly and excercise". When I asked her about it after I had read the article and she said that she was tired of all the hype about type 2 , how they have choices, but most don't want to change thier lifestyle they just want the doctor to give them pills. She used words like whiners, lazy, and shameful. and what kept going through my mind was "I'm one step away from type 2 myself", "how will she feel about me if I become type 2"," I'm failing to be the example she needs". I started to take up the cause again, but still not following BFL, and then in July this year I was rushed to the hospital because they thought I was having a heart attack. It wasn't and I spent the next few months running tests and avoiding workouts. When I did start again I still tried to turn to other programs, one of which was similar to BFL but more confusing workout routines and I eventually dropped that too. Yesterday I received an email from a a old BFL buddy. In it she was talking about the TTV this weekend so I followed the link and was planning on watching this morning. Unfortunaltly, Dish metwork wasn't broadcasting it like cable. Fortunatly I ended up here instead. I have watched the show and read many of Bill's Blogs and others. It's funny how it still seems like he is speaking directly at me. As I watched Denise's story one of the 1st things she said in dealing with her daughter's illness was she always looked at others and how much worse it could be. This touched me becuase when ever I start to be depressed about my daughter's diabetes I've aways thought the same thing, but lukemia was that "worse" thing that came to mind. I cried so many times as I watched the show. I thought back to my strong BFL days and remembered how proud I was when I met and overcame challenges. I was amazed at how so many people said it was a dream come true to actually meet Bill Phillips. I remembered that this was one of my dreams too, but now it's become a fear. Fear of embarrasment and shame. But now as I look at the pictures of Bill I still get that feeling he's saying, "I understand and want to help" and with all that others have faced I feel my problems and challenges are small in comparision. I am digging out my copy of BFL and rereading it and I will chose a start date, This time NO TWEEKING the program except to include a more intense spiritual makeover as well.

My Favorite Charity

American Diabetes Association

To me, Transformation Means

My Goals

My goals started out simple 1) Lose 25 lbs. of fat 2) take in 3 inches on my waist. 3) Increase stamina. 4) stop binge eating 5) take back control of some aspect of my life. But as I read others posts I find there is sooooo... much more. I think cinncinati_dave covers a lot in his "you might be transforming if ..." blog so In 18 weeks I will have.... * A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences. * An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment. * A loss of interest in judging other people. * A loss of interest in judging self. * A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. * A loss of interest in conflict. * A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.) * Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation. * Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature. * Frequent attacks of smiling. * An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. * An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

My Intentions

Who I'd Like to Inspire

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