Bill Phillip's | Transformation

In taking on and completing my first Transformation Challenge, I had to successfully face and release my fear of letting myself down and starting another challenge only to fall short. Through the process of this challenge, I learned I could count on myself. I made myself a series of little self promises everyday as I filled in my success journal. I honored those self promises and the results and confidence came in waves. I think my current fear is a fear of really opening up and taking this thing to the next level - the championship level. It goes hand in hand with the limiting belief I need to shed, which limits me from going from very good to great. Therein lies my work for round 2. Much love, Tony

At the time I was guided here, I was so frustrated with myself with dieting and at the end of my rope to try anything new. I really felt like I've did it all so "here goes another one down the drain" My fear was starting this transformation and never finishing it and feeling those horrible guilty feelings yet again. I"m sooooooooo happy to say I've conquered that fear and then some. I know I'll finish my current transformation because it's become a lifestyle to me and not "another ho hum diet" and am excited to start my next one very shortly. A current fear I have is that I'll gain weight with the tempting foods around me. The way I can conquer this fear is to rid of all the tempting foods. Thanks again Bill for assisting me in seeing the truth! Love and light to you always! Joan

Assignment #15 Overcoming Fears Throughout most of our lives in the early stages, overcoming fears is quite an uphill battle. While gracefully seasoning in our lifetime, maturity helps us overcome fears we once had. It could be a fear of being highly successful, marriage, or being your own boss. A fear I’ve overcome in this process of Transformation is just being myself. At first, I was kind of afraid of uploading my before photos, because they were very awful looking, and was weary ab out people laughing at me, for posting a picture with a pregnant looking stomach and man boobs. Instead, thinking with an entrepreneurial mindset, I decided to go against myself and take a chance at it anyways. And today, I can say that it has humbled me, because I feel comfortable after knowing shortly after joining the site that no one is judgmental. Another fear I confront now , in betting myself throughout the Transformation process is allowing people to grow on me. In saying this, I mean opening up of one’s self to others, knowing my character, personal thoughts and working together to build a successful family-like relationship. Relationship building and overcoming that fe

One fear that I have overcome since the start of this challenge is opening up and expressing my inner self to the group. When I originally posted my before picture and when I spoke the truth and pain that was in my heart, I felt very vulnerable and didn't want to participate. But, I decided that if I did take the plunge and put it out into the Universe, it would make me more accountable. Like in the last assignment I mentioned the fear I had was, and still is, the fear of success. With the success of winning this competition, comes the fear of attention and of public speaking. But, I am willing to continue to grow and move forward in this journey.

I overcame the fear of cameras and I have been avoiding pull ups because I know I am not good at them. Now I know I will do them and overcome that fear too.

One of the fears that had been carried around with me (for years) was the label of ‘non-custodial’ mom. In 2000 I experienced a nasty divorce, and as a result I lost custody (no need for details or excuses on my part – it happened). As a result I stopped LIVING life, and began to mourn my loss. As the years passed, and I participated in my children’s school functions, parent/teacher conferences, etc, the underlying issue of “FEAR” controlled my emotions and how I interacted with everyone (including my husband, Mark). I lived in FEAR that people would find out I didn’t have custody and I’d be judged. Eventually, I was judged by those who didn’t take the time or effort to get to know me, but instead drew judgment based on what they felt was the ‘norm’ within our society with regards to which parent is granted custody in a divorce. For ten years I ate my way through difficult situations like parent/teacher conferences, sporting events, field trips, picking the kids up from school, etc. You name it I felt as if I was a villain being watched everywhere I went because I was somehow casted off as a ‘bad mother’ for the situation I was dealt. The battle within my soul was cyclical – from being scorned and angry to being sad and lost. It just never ended. I was able to shed the weight I’d piled on for so many years, and regained it all back again because something was a miss – and I soon would find out in a moment listening to the “Blog Talk Radio” back in July 2009 when Chris Rile phoned in to share his fear and shame, and also his breakthrough moment. In a moment’s notice the years of fear, shame, blame, and heartache were quickly healed – Today I LIVE LIFE! I walked through the fear with the help of a fellow community member, and I am forever grateful. I know that there’s no telling what is on the other side of our journey’s, but it is always worth the journey and effort to find out no matter what. Fear sometimes likes to show up in different forms, however I quickly put it into check and remind myself the outcome of my journey is dependent upon the participation I give to the universe with showing up and doing the work :) I am worth the effort, and I am worthy of health, success, love, laughter, and happiness - aren't we all?!

One of my biggest fear is the fear of failing. In my business, one of the things I am required to do is to pick up the phone and call people, knock on doors, network. It's the only way I'm going to obtain any business and yet I've allowed my fears keep me from being successful. Well, through my transformation here, I've realized that if I am putting the time into something, I might as well make the best of it. That comes from those days when I am in the gym and don't really feel like being there. But since I am, I tell myself to do the best I can, I'm there, just do it. This has worked for me. Well, I just recently decided that I would use the same philosophy in my business. I have asked my collegues to help me, teach me, show me how they do it. and guess what, everyone was so receptive and kind. It's amazing. This was a very difficult thing for me to do, as I was never one to ask for help, mostly out of fear. What will they think? It's so embarrassing! blah, blah, blah. I have come to realize that I too must face the fear and do it anyway. I really love this quote. Thanks Bill!

Long before starting the transformation I was crippled by fear. I went to chiropractic school and it has always been my dream to own my own practice and serve others. i worked for another doctor for over 9 years and was just too scared to do it on my own. Whether it was not having enough money, not enough experience, where would the patients come from, concentrating on others who failed before me rather than the people that succeeded, I built a wall of fear around myself. I ended up getting really into working on the outer me and not the inner me (I didn't even know I was doing this at the time). too make a very long story short I ended up quitting my job and going into business with another doctor. At the time, I knew in my gut this wasn't the right move for me especially coming from a mindset of fear...but I did it anyway and took a leap of faith. Well the universe works in mysterious ways and my partner ended up betraying me and I lost all the money I saved. Pennyless, I went through a severe state of depression. So severe that I would literally wake up in the morning and say to myself, "Break it off with Maria"..."Don't put her through this"....She deserves better"..."Kill yourself"..."You can't make it"..."You're a worker not a leader". On and on it went and as you stated Bill time and time again... "Our thoughts create our reality". Well I went back to my old job and my ex-boss did take me back but he cut my pay by 1/3 and made me apologize to him. It was the worst moment of my life. I felt like a slave that tried to run and got caught...But it lit a fire inside me that burned deep and the more I concentrated on that deep feeling and what i wanted the more the fire would roar. As fate would have it during this process I broke my back in 3 places. Which caused me to get away from the gym for a while (too long in fact...about 8 years). I gained 60 lbs. and was headed toward a heart attack. In that interim I worked on myself mentally, learning about The Law of Attraction and all that you are speaking of Bill. That's why when I decided once and for all to get back into shape physically, I also continue to work on myself mentally and spiritually. Oh and by the way...feeling the fear and doing it anyway really does work. I moved to South Florida and opened a wellness center...That story is amazing how it all happened but for the sake of time and space I will post it a later date. So in answer to the question about what fear I will work on in the next seven days...it is the fear of expansion. I have been affected like a lot of others by the economic downturn but it is my true vision and dream (especially after doing this transformation) to add on to my wellness center and teach all the components that all of us are going through here on T.com. I want to take before pictures, body composition tests, blood analysis, teach people how to eat, how to exercise and work on themselves from the inside out. After 18 weeks I will retest them and watch people get off medication and truly, truly see that health comes from within. so, I have to watch myself and not lose my dream because of fear...have faith like I did before and let the universe, God & nature take it's course...whew! Love, Dean

Overcoming fear of lifting heavier weights when damaged shoulder. The fear I'm overcoming next week is facing traumatic events through EMDR. It's hard and I"ve tackled 2 weeks of it so far.

A fear I have overcome: I can admit that I have a problem with food and exercise and not be criticized. I was embraced and motivated by so many people at Transformation and in my home life when I committed to change my life for the better in June. Not just my weight.. I have done that in the past and it all came back each time, because I wasn’t learning how to take care of me. Those times I was learning how to take care of my eating for a short time. I am generally not a public person with my feelings and by writing down my innermost feelings, thoughts and personal views on things I have let go of my fear of opening up to people.. nonetheless people whom I have never even met.. and some I have and would never had told such things to without the help and support of the Transformation Community. A fear I WILL overcome: I am afraid to commit to the Seattle ½ marathon and daily exercise in general and making myself a priority. I have done it in the past as I used to be an athlete.. but ever since I found out last January that I had 3 slipped discs in my lower back I have been terrified to go back to regular exercise.. even though I have been okayed to do certain things. I tried in the spring, slipped very slightly and it set me back several weeks in my recovery. I can’t run, but am allowed to walk. Starting with short distances then adding more each week as long as I am doing okay. In my mind, I can get it back.. strength and motivation, but have been letting myself down. No excuses. My 7 year old daughter just committed to the Seattle Kids marathon (where they walk ½ mile 5 days a week for two weeks then 1 mile 5 days a week until the end. The last 1.2 miles is run where they get to finish in the stadium like all other marathon runners/walkers. I want to show her that it can be done.. and that I support her. BY THE END OF THIS WEEK.. I will have signed up to walk the ½ Seattle Marathon on Sunday 11/29.

Well, I am skipping ahead fron assignment 12 to this one because all of a sudden some of my excitement for the Transformation event and half marathon have turned to fear and stress, so this is the exercise for me today. Tomorrow early morning I'll drive to Denver for the event which I have been very excited about. Couldn't wait. And now I'm afraid. Last night I dreamed that I was running a 5k and I couldn't see any of the other runners so they must have been really far ahead of me. Then I realized that I couldn't see them because I was leading and I finished in first place. Now, that is really crazy because running (which for me is slow jogging) is not easy for me. There are things that I love about it, sometimes in the moment , sometimes later, but I certainly don't love it because it comes easy. I honestly am not worried about what my time is, that is not that important to me, what my biggest challenge about running is the chatter in my head. The battle in my mind when things get hard. I guess I am not afraid that I won't finish...I'll finish, It is more that I am worried that I will be overwhelmed by it- that I haven't trained enough to have the confidence. I feel better just writing about and when I think of other fears that I have faced and overcome I do feel stronger. I have worked out and lifted weights since I was 12 years old, and in my twenties spent a lot of time in a gym. Raising my kids I still worked out, but at home, and since I live in Colorado I have a great passion for hiking. A few years ago I decided to join a gym..it was my reward for quitting smoking (by far the biggest self- inflicted obstacle I have ever overcome). Anyway, I thought it would be great. But after I went once I was completely intimadated, and it took many, many months for me to be able to work out there at all, let alone feel comfortable there. Fear can be crippling and I hope to always be able to work through it.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”I have overcome my fear of starting to run again. ...

I have lived this “feel the fear and do it anyway,” in most areas, much of my life. For whatever reason, I seem wired to do things that many people won’t do. I often seem to have a dream that outranks the fear, and my dream gives me courage to “do it anyway.” However, this process is about change, isn’t it? For now, that means identifying the areas in which I do have fear, and addressing those areas as well as I can. How can I do this? By looking at what has happened in the past, every time I have faced a fear and discovered that it was simply “False Evidence, Appearing Real.” For example, when I was a kid, I feared moving, and going to new schools. I feared I would not have any friends. That never turned out to be true, and I made friends wherever I went. When I was a paramedic, I feared that I would accidentally give someone the wrong medicine, or not know what to do in an emergency, and thus, I would accidentally kill someone. Again, that was not the case. It was simply fear. In some cases (like posting my before picture), just doing the very thing I feared became the “golden ticket” to freedom from the fear. In other cases (like when I was terrified I would accidentally kill someone), it took more than “facing it” to handle it. There didn’t seem to be any action I could take to “face the fear and do it anyway.” What was I supposed to do, tell the family members I was afraid? As I became more and more afraid, I felt like I was becoming less and less able to perform my duties. As a result, I knew the very thing I feared would manifest, if I continued to focus on the possibility. “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” (Job 3:25) So, I faced the fear by writing it all down. I wrote a long page of The Truth About How I Was Afraid, and I took it to a beautiful mountaintop cross (a local landmark), and I buried the paper near the cross. Then, whenever I had that same fear, I could recall a very tangible experience I had letting go of that fear and giving it to God. I knew He could handle it, for His shoulders are so much bigger than mine. So, I let Him hold the fear for me, and I went about my business of taking care of the patients. Releasing that fear in that manner worked very well for me. In fact, that cross is visible from the entire metro Denver area, so wherever I was, on nearly every 911 call, I could look up and see it. I knew right where “my fear” was...and I didn’t need to take it back. It was a ritual of release, and it worked well for me. Today, as I become even more honest about my life -- about what works and what doesn’t work -- I can identify some other fears. There is a fear of being an inadequate parent. I sometimes notice a feeling that my marriage will never get any better - and that is, simply, fear. I have feared criticism and the anger of total strangers, especially when it appears unfounded. Fear brings up a lot of junk. Fear seldom travels alone in my life, and its companions are anger and control. So, when I notice I am attempting to control another person, place, or thing, or when I respond in anger, I try to uncover the fear that is lurking around somewhere. Once I identify it, I can usually let go of it, by facing it, calling it by its real name, and releasing it in truthful prayer. One area of fear -- the unknown -- is particularly insidious. It’s almost imperceptible, like natural gas -- odorless and deadly. How many plans are spoiled, dreams untapped, lives unaltered, hopes shattered, relationships destroyed, opportunities let go...all because of the fear of the unknown? I cannot know what the future holds -- but I can know Who holds the future! I know Who holds my future! Where does that leave me? How do I respond, once I have determined to live a life, bravely, with the intention of bringing glory to God? Since I cannot know what is in my future, even 10 minutes from this moment, I can only live fully, present, now. I can set goals, I can plan, I can work -- but I must stay in this moment, live this moment, and breathe in THIS moment. This is where my life is -- right here, right now. All I can do to prepare for the unknown is to be the best me I can be, mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally...and then, I will be in the best position to respond. When I worked on 911 calls, I never knew what kind of call would come in 2 seconds from the exact second I was currently in. All I could do was prepare my supplies, prepare my mind, prepare my body, and trust that God would be with in the next moment...and in the next moment...and in the one after that. I needed to prepare myself, trust His presence, and let go of the need to control results. It worked beautifully. It still does -- when I remember to let go! :) Refusing to be paralyzed by fear has allowed me tremendous opportunities and blessings. I believe that will continue, all the days of my life! In this journey, I have overcome many fears! A few of them are posting a before photo, telling others about my intentions, committing to training for a half-marathon, committing to raising pledges for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, posting progress photos, admitting shortcomings, dealing with conflict and confrontation, running in the dark, in poor weather, and all alone, doing “transformation” alone, meeting “strangers” I “met” online, and buying a two-piece swimsuit! In fact, I faced a fear recently, when I got to do a 9-mile run in a city a thousand miles form home. I knew no one, did not know the the route (other than from a Google map), and was waiting for my morning’s running partner, who did not come. I was alone, in the dark, planning to head out into the freezing cold rain for a run far from the perceived security of the hotel lobby. The fear I felt was not typical of me, but it was definitely there. It was a low-grade apprehension, subtly disguised as the need to figure out the best clothing for the weather. I went back up the elevator and changed clothes about 5 times, checked and re-checked the weather online, and paced back and forth in the lobby. It was a major “ah-ha!” moment when I realized that I was dealing with plain old fear. When I labeled it as fear, I knew it would go away, as I have learned how to manage fears and apprehensions, once I know what they are. (It is those moments BEFORE I label it as fear that I am pacing, angry, confused, controlling, etc.) I prayed, told God the truth, and asked for His help. In exchange, He gave me His peace, and I went out the door. The fear was completely removed! Yet another case of False Evidence, Appearing Real! I know there will be more fears to deal with in my remaining time in this round of the challenge, in addition to other fears, which will be dealt with in future rounds of transformation. I am excited to face these “giants,” one at a time! I believe I now have the tools, and the support, to do so! Other fears yet to be confronted: Wearing - and taking a photo in - a 2-piece swimsuit. Taking an after picture that’s not “perfect,” whatever that is. Writing about specific relationships and situations. I have every intention of continuing this process, long after my round one challenge is over. Thank goodness there’s more time! I intend to live bravely, to glorify God in all I do.

One of the main fears that I learned to conquer was one that i talked about in one of my blogs. I was afraid of success. I was afraid of good things happening in my life that were self-generated. I found happiness and comfort in so many things in life, But, I never got anything done 100% because of me. Because of this transformation challenge. I learned where that fear of success came from. I fiound what caused that fear deep inside me and I forgave myself. Now, I am ready for success and I welcome it in! I still have fears. Now my fear is failure. I gave myself some pretty steep goals. I made a mathematical error when deciding how much weight I will be losing these past 3 weeks of my challenge. I am 212 now, and my goal is to be 195 by the end of this challenge. Thats alot of cardio and I need to get educated about the science of diet. Its not the challenge I am afraid of failing. I am afraid of failing anything now. If I start something, i try so hard at it that I feel panic if I can't reach what I set out for. I'm not really sure what to do about this, but thanks for giving me a template to atleast bring it to my attention so I can work with it.

So, I finally get to tell someone this, I am afraid of everything. As a child I was overcome with fear constantly, as a adult I not as afraid as I was as a child but it's still with me, I have overcome it in several ways but also it still is with me. I can't go to sleep unless the tv is on, I am afraid to move my body for fear it will hurt, I'm afraid of going out because I know it will hurt, if I have a appointment, I am a wreck the night before, and yes it always hurts but I manage to deal with it, to handle it, to get over it, and still I have terror in my heart. I try to push past my fear, always and the one that I've overcome since becoming a member of this community is my fear of eating healthy or eating less, I was always afraid of starving, but I've found the cure for that is to eat something, and eating something healthy is just as filling as eating something bad, only in the long run I feel better. The fear I will face this week is the fear of sleeping without the tv on. I'm afraid of the silence, that will make my mind wander when I dream. But I will try to let the darkness be my blanket, and surrender to the calm.

Assignment #15 R2 1. Write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. --- I wrote in my first transformation assignment 15 that I feared not being able to finish the full eighteen weeks. Well, I am glad to say I have laid that fear to rest. In the beginning I was so afraid of committing to something I wasn’t sure I could even finish, to put it mildly, my health was terrible. I also feared participating in T.com and the accountability factor. As it turned out I became quite at home here at T.com and love being a part of this community. The support and inspiration is addicting. I now look forward to connecting each day and accounting for my workouts and meals. I also feared not being named a champion and was afraid I would resort back to my old habits and fall back into depression. Regardless of these fears I somehow forced myself to stick with the program and gave it all I had. As it turned out, I was not named a champion but did receive a “special honors” award for my efforts. Looking back on it now I accept that I was not ready to be named a champion. Although I worked my butt off physically, internally I needed more work. I am now prepared to continue my journey and work on some of these areas in my life. I am finding the more effort I put towards improving me on the inside the easier it is to work on the outside shell. With the help of my coaches here at T.com I see areas where improvement is needed in order for me to continue growing. I now recognize it is all part of our journey and that we all arrive at these places at different times during our life. I am starting to feel more comfortable with who I am and what my purpose in life is. I’m finding that being critical of myself only holds me back from positive growth. I accept and understand that we all have moments in our lives when we fail. Being persistent with my goals is my new adopted philology. I am learning to pick myself up when I fall, dust myself off, and keep pressing forward. I love who I am becoming and feel a confidence I haven’t felt in years. I find that most of the pain I harbored for so many years no longer occupies my mind. I see that when I love myself, it makes it much easier to love those around me. I no longer rely on external praise as a way of measuring my self worth. Although I still harbor many fears, some large, some small. I have come a long way in just 37 weeks. I am learning to face these fears with more determination instead of avoiding them entirely. Bill instructs us to feel our fears and do them anyway”, and hopefully here at T.com that’s exactly what I’m learning to do. •••• 2. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. --- For years I worked for a large telecommunications company as an art director, and had to travel by air to many locations around the country. I never really feared flying although I would occasionally think about being in a plane crash. Since 9/11 my thinking has completely changed. Although I joke about the fact that I’m not afraid to fly, just afraid to die, I still find it hard to board a commercial airline without wondering about the “what if” factor. I have developed quite a fear of flying, or should I clarify, dying. A lot has changed in my life since those early years of flying. I’m not quite the risk taker I used to be. I blame it on age as I remember thinking that I would live forever when I was twenty-five. I have so much more to live for now than when I was in my twenties. I have a wonderful wife, two sons that I am very proud of, all who depend on me. I have a home to pay for, business debt that needs to be paid off, and yes, let’s not forget my new transformed life, which I am just now beginning to enjoy. With all the terrible things that are going on in the world, one never knows when disaster will strike next. I recently e-mailed our champion Sharen and shared with her a dream I had a few weeks ago about being in a plane crash. The dream woke me up at 4 am and I laid there for the rest of the night trying to figure out how I could tell Bill I wasn’t going to be able to make it to Denver. I felt trapped with fear. I kept thinking, “I have to force myself to go”. How could I even imagine turning down Bill’s generosity just because of this fear. How could I ever face my newfound friends here at T.com without feeling like such a hypocrite? Our transformation journey’s are about personal growth and I’m not excused from class or this assignment. Sharen was kind enough to return the message with words of encouragement, which made me feel so much better. Thanks friend! I have already begun to work on these fears by concentrating on how much fun it will be out in Denver. All that energy harnessed in one area is drawing me like a huge magnet. I will get to meet so many inspirational people, some who may carry some of the same fears I do. So with that said, my fear to overcome between now and next week will be my fear of boarding the plane to Denver on Thursday of next week. Pray for me friends as I continually recite Bill’s solution “feel the fear and do it anyway”! Greg

In the past few years I have developed a deep, panicky fear of flying in an airplane and of driving over a bridge. It is very debilitating since I travel for my job. I have decided to face this fear and head-butt it straight on instead of live in fear and panic. This new awareness is very recent and since deciding to face it, most of my panic and apprehension is fading. A lot of the power of fearing flying and driving over bridges has subsided and my confidence has returned. My next fear I am overcoming is a fear of starting a new endeavour, only to lack the support of my family and allowing that lack of support to sway me. For many, many years I have wanted to be a life coach/corporate coach. When I shared this with my spouse he was immediately judgmental and nonsupportive, but deep down I really want to pursue this. I have a degree in sociology, I took classes in organizational behavior, and I am drawn to coaching in other aspects of my life. When I stop and thing about it, it seems I have been drawn to this work for a long time without really knowing how to recognize it. It will take a lot of courage to study for something without the support of my partner, when I am supporting our family of 4. It will take faith to follow my heart and do what I have a passion for when I don't know how it will transpire or who will hire me. But I have seen some pretty "remote chances" come to fruiition here at Transformation, so I am willing to put one foot in front of the other until I get where I am going. Thank you for this exercise, Bill. Love and Light, Christa

I've been stuck at the close to the same weight the past 8 weeks despite consistent and increased exercise plus diet control. My fear challenge to overcome is that I may not be able to shed the extra pounds without going hungry. I don't like the feeling of my belly being "stuffed" but do enjoy it feeling satisfied.

this is a hard one. mostly because theres been a lot of fears and i dont always try to thinka bout them. i would say a big fear was that i would never be able to finish and go through with something like this. but with transformation it just clicked. now i know when i start round 2, ill do just that much better. a fear i need to conquer still yet, its really hard to just pin point one or to release myself from it in such a short amount of time. id have to think about taht more. but i defiantly can say i know now that i am perfectly capable of taking on challenges.

Wow! it is SO exciting to see that i have just 3 assignments left after this one. Looking at the dwindling number of assignments reflects back to me the fear that I have overcome through the process of this challenge: the fear that I cannot change. I know now that I absolutely can change. The question I am coming to understand is this: will I choose to be the change in this moment? That is the only question. Everytime I bug out about whether or not I will be the change for the rest of my life, I just need to ask myself, "am I being the change right now?" because now is the moment i have. and there will many nows - for the rest of my life. but i'll only be able to choose NOW. I am so glad to be "getting" this now :) *and* i have to laugh at myself for all the suffering and struggling i've been doing in my mind about my fear of not being the change in the future- because really my struggle only happens when i'm not being the change in the present moment. The fear that I am letting go of and overcoming in order to move myself forward in my progress and transformation is the fear that I can never be one of the "dynamic and powerful transformers that has impressive results on the inside and the outside at the same time." I will confront this fear in the coming week by hitting my exercise, nutrition and inner work with everything i've got. Every day. Moment by moment. I will ask myself (when i'm down and when i'm up) - am I being the change in my thinking? are my beliefs supporting me to be the change or hindering my progress? am i being the change in how i experience my emotions? am i being the change in how i exercise and feed my body? how can i be the change in this moment? what am i doing "right" and how can i build on it? I am facing my fear right now. And I am going to keep doing it. Bit by bit, I will build new muscles- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I can feel them already.

OK~I have a bit of a fear of taking my AFTER picture for this round two. Round two I lost a half inch in my waist and little body fat % but on the scale I have gained 5 pounds. I am discouraged by this. I am HEALTHY and I feel strong! ROUND TWO was not an easy round for me with the processing of my mothers death and I am still processing it. God is with me. SO my fear is taking that after pic...which I will do on Monday. This round ends Monday for me. I am looking forward to ROUND THREE ...Mrs. Shari at FORTY! THE BEST is YET TO COME!

The fear I conquered was taking the challenge of doing the transformation. And doing kareoke I sing in the past i was afraid to sing in front of people. I do have a fear of speaking in front of people but i know that is another fear i want to conquer. Its funny that i can sing in front of people but when it comes to speaking in a large group of people my words get scrambled. Another fear I will conquer my before photo online but I will post that. Another fear I want to conquer I want to get certified to teach group fitness classes which means I need to speak in front of a group I am planning on getting my study materials from afaa even though i am fearful of doing it and when its time to take the test i will overcome that fear. I want to conquer my fears that are holding me back from living my dreams and passion. I have a lot of knowledge that I have learned from you Bill you are my mentor since body for life. But now I am truly looking at the inward and want to be who I was meant to be and live without those fears of not living my dream.

Assignment #15- Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway One fear I have already overcome in this 18 week challenge was posting a picture of me in a 2 piece. I don't wear one in public why on earth would I post it in such a public format? And being in the AP group where it was originally required to do so weekly was just something I dreaded. I thought maybe this might help me to take it a step further. Through this process it has helped me accept my body better. A fear I am confronting this next week is going on a cruise with the Body for Life group. Never in a millions years would I have thought I would put myself in a position to be around so many people with beautiful physiques which would make me feel more self conscious than I already do in circumstances like being in a bathing suit...wearing shorts...all of these things freak me out like you can't imagine inside...I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable about my thighs!!!! It's as if I think everyone is completely only focused on me and my thighs and I know that they are not...but I feel that way. So this next week I am snorkeling, cave tubing and playing on a beach...wow...facing the worst of my inner fears. I am tired of being the person who covers up or avoids activities because of it. Susan

Fear, I've been thinking a lot about this lately. There has been a fear of attempting things and not being good enough. Because of this unjustified fear, I have not participated in many things. This fear is based in low self-esteem, I think. So, when it comes time to do something new, I am paralyzed into inaction, procrastination, trivial tasks, and other diversions. It is my biggest flaw and I'm smack dab in the middle of it right now. I literally just read the book, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I read lots of books about this but this does get things accomplished. I need to do the "do" portion to move forward more quickly. There has been success though. I'd say my biggest accomplishment in this area is giving blood. I have always feared needles. To overcome, I began to give blood. After many donations, I have never watched the process. The fear is still there but it is under control. As for transforming, I now find it easy to exercise virtually every day...and most of the time look forward to it. The fear that I need to address in the next 7 days is this: I'm involved in a new career where I will work from home. I'm in the education phase and I am doing everything in my power to avoid the work I need to do. This new career is in uncharted waters. I don't fear that I can't do it. I fear jumping in and committing myself to something that may not be "comfortable" enough for me. The irony is that I'm hugely uncomfortable where I'm at. Getting one's mind straight about how to live is a lifelong challenge, isn't it?

My gosh. I was so afraid when i started my bootcamp. I didn't know what to expect, if I would be able to handle it, could my heart and lungs handle it and I just did it and it is now my favorite thing to do. Love every aspect of it. ONe thing though during my workout that they ask us to do that puts some fear into me is a box jump max. The highest you can do. Well after a certian point you just don't want to do it. I finally got passed it and did has much as I could do. My bootcampers are going through the same thing right now also. Afraid of not making it and gettig hurt. I still think about it, I'm not going to lie but I just do it because I know if I do i will accomlish it with no problem. i started out wit a 12 inch box and now do a 24 inch box. Next will be the 36. All due to taking the fear and putting it aside and just doing it. Well the one fear i have talked about over and over is the fear of change. Well i have been trying to change my diet to where it would help me get to my final transformation. I have done the eating for life in full tack for a year now and to change is scarey. Will it keep my weight going in the right direction, will it keep me on track or will i gain weight and go the wrong direction. I am still facing this. I guess the biggest part of it is what will happen if I don't like it and go back to the full eating for life and add breads rice and potatoes into my diet. What will happen? My gosh this runs through my mind everyday. I took my eating for life and modified it to paleo by taking away the bread rice and potaotes and eating fruit. It did work wonders but as mention in Assignment 14 I over indulge 2 weeks into it because the free day is not there. You get a free meal after 1 month then 2 after the 2nd then 1 free day but i like a free day. So I am back to just throwing the free day in there. Knowing I have that one day will help me control that erge. That is my hope. I am going to try it out for two weeks and if there is no difference, then I am just going the eating for life way. My free day will consist of my rice breads and potatoes and of coarse a sweet treat that way I don't feel like I am missing out. Gosh fear, change, What big words. i will over come all of this just a part of my transformation.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!!! Oh - I am so afraid to post this essay but here it is: I am fearful of new experiences, but, if it is something that I want to do, I face the fear and go for it. A significant past fear was taking my first black belt test in August, 2000. Our family started martial arts classes in December, 1995. A few weeks later, we purchased sparring gear. As a child, I had been taught that nice girls don't hit people and, in addition to the fear of being hit, that was a conflict in itself. I later faced this fear by entering sparring in competitions including a large, international competition. Finally, in January, 2000, we began serious training for our black belt tests. .............The school taught a mixed martial art and so we had learned a combination of karate, aikido, judo and jujitsu. We had heard many stories of the things that went on during the test and I was absolutely stricken with fear. With my husband’s constant encouragement, I determined that we would do this as a family and Mom was not going to quit.................. My favorite quote, which is posted on my page, is "Never Give Up; Never Surrender." I wrote this down and kept it in my pocket to look at frequently. At times when everything inside of me screamed "quit," I would say it over and over. ..............The test was four days long. The first day we ran 6.2 miles (10K) up and down the Missouri river bottom hills and bluffs. Day two was my worst nightmare. They put 21 of us in a large circle walking around the mats and they put one of us in the center. Then they would call out someone's name and their job was to attack the person in the center. The person in the center had to locate the attacker, block the attack, take them down and lock them off. This was repeated many times. ..............Day 3 (my next worse nightmare) was sparring night and we fought 2-minute rounds with everyone (69 people) who showed up in gear. .............Day 4 was kata and floor drills..........Now - in case you are thinking that doesn't sound like a big deal, over the course of the four days, the 21 candidates suffered 3 broken noses, 3 broken toes, 3 broken ribs, one 15 year old had his collar bone completely severed and was taken to the hospital to have it reset, in addition to his broken big toe, my husband got a deep 1-1/2" long gash in his eyebrow which needed stitches (but one of the on-sight paramedics patched it with butterfly bandages). I took a hard kick to my xiphoid process which may be the cause of my enlarged aortic root, and we were all covered with multiple bruises. We came through the ordeal and our entire family was awarded black belts .................... In September, 2000, we opened Eagle's Wings Martial Arts and have operated as an outreach to abused children and at-risk youth. We oversee three schools and have had over 500 students come through our doors where, in addition to self-defense, we teach them about the love of Christ. It is very rewarding to watch them begin to walk a little taller with confidence as the months go by and they earn their belts. Tuition fees are extremely moderate and no one is turned away because of inability to pay. (To date, no one has been injured in one of our tests!)…………Concerning a fear that I will confront within the next 7 days: Tomorrow morning I am flying to Texas for my 38th class Get-Together (which I organized last year and again this year). Some of the baggage I have recently let go of originates in this group but I will face my fears and by doing so, I will be stronger and be over it forever.

One fear I've overcome in Round 2 is the fear of not being good enough to be successful as a personal trainer at Gold's. Although I had all of the college education and a certification, I did not have all of the hands on experience and sales experience needed to be successful at Gold’s, and it was kind of intimidating. I made the goal that I was going to become fulltime there though and build my clients, and I just jumped in, asked for help, received help and climbed my way up the ladder pretty quickly. Now I'm already one of the best trainers there and I love it. I was pretty scared at first though... A fear I can face in the next week is the fear of setting boundaries and saying no when I need to. For example, the sales people at Gold's will setup some of the most pointless orientations with me just so they will look good and they know I won’t get mad. It gets to be a waste of my time and energy though. Then I also need to say no to clients who are always rescheduling and to my boss who wants me to work all of the time because it's not healthy for me to work from 6am to 7pm or 8 pm everyday without much break. I guess I just want to please everyone all of the time, but it's important I don't sacrifice my health just to please others. So this week, I will face the fear of not always pleasing others and I will set healthy boundaries for myself.

I wrote about this in my journal, but forgot to post it online. So, here is what I was most afraid of during week 15. I was afraid to post my photos, because I had not made as much progress as I had hoped to. I seriously MADE myself do it. I was afraid of what people would say or think about them. "Wow, I see some progress, but she could have done so much better." or "she probably didn't work out 6 days a week." You know what? No one said anything like that. Everyone was super supportive and complimentary, as T.com is notoriously famous for. . .support and love and encouragement! I then realized, that I was afraid of the TRUTH. I knew that I could have done more, but made little excuses along the way. I was beating myself down, instead of focusing on the process. Did I have a perfect transformation experience? No. Was it worth it? YOU BET!!! I wish I could post photos of my inner transformation. The change is incredible, but still a work in progress. So, my fear: letting go of my need for perfection and just going with what I CAN DO.

T15 - Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway Wow. That is a big order. It seems to me that when i get, so called, 'backed into a corner' i move forward thru any fear and disappointment that is in the way, and seem to come out the other side ok. Like when i signed on to this challenge. It was a committment i made to me. i was very fearful about where i had let me get to. i was so bumbed at myself. Although, the circumstances were not easy leading up to the demise. But here i am. Proof that belief in a process and follow-thru prove to be very powerful. i have had a fear of taking a direction/a stand on where to go with my future work life. I have fear i will not select the correct path and end up wasting my time on the studies. How nuts. This has been going on for a long time in my life. The result - here i am - not anywhere. Ya know how much i would have learned by now had i made a decision and taken action? That is what this assignment is about to me. If i research, i am usually confident in a decision i can make based on a pile of information. This life path fear i have set to tackle this fall, and this winter on the beginning study. Now, there is much more to the story than meets the eye - it is not all that simple. You see it is obvious that not tackling the adiction to alcohol first would have landed me who knows were today. As i sit here, and realize what i HAVE accomplished this past year (i have a bit over a year sober) i should be ok with that. But the old pattern of my life is still there. Contemplating and not moving forward. It is like drifting instead of setting sail. The drifting has brought me to some pretty slammin places though. Places i never new existed. So, when i ponder how i got thru all of the stuff i did get thru and the experiences i have had - it opend my eyes to the reality of my life. It has been fun! Ok - back to NOW. So the immediate fear that i can work on is on the plate and would be best to get it done in the next week. That is a concrete goal that is do-able. Actually, it is the groundwork that needs to be done in order so the bigger fear behind it can be experienced. It is a bit personal, so i do not wish to share it here - online to the world. But i will update this and let you know how it feels to get some of the details worked out. i am gonna go for it! YEAH! It will be a blast if that is what i set out for it to be. LPJ, Cat

My fear of actual change is what I have truly overcome during my transformation so far. I have changed physically through hard work and dedication. If I can be dedicated to that change and accomplish it - then i know the other areas of my life can be changed as well. The fear that I will work on during the next 7 days will be my fear that my negative thinking will drag me down like it usually does. I will work on being aware of my thoughts. Thanks - yet again...this is just what I needed to hear! ~Mel

First of all I am not comfortable expressing my fears. So, part of what I will work on is being able to face my fears by asking for the help of others if not just listening to me. I have initially thought at the beginning of this transformation that I could never lose weight and I was afraid to get on the scale for fear I was not progressing. I have made some progress in dropping pounds and have gone back and forth with weight gain and loss. But ultimately I have made progress. So, I am in the mindset of "progress, not perfection. If I make a few mistakes along the way but am still improving, I have allowed myself self-gratitude in my acccomplishments. I fear failure in dropping a couple of pounds and continuing my diet and exercise. So, by next week, I will confront this fear and know that "I can do it" if I stop beating myself up about it.

I believe in the idea of facing your fears and not running away from them. My first fear, that I at least in part have faced, was the fear of failure in the transformationn process. It took me a long time to get started on the program. I had to make sure my mindset was in a place that would not allow me to give up if everything did not go perfectly. I am commited to finishing no matter what and starting the next T2. My next fear to overcome came about after my knee went out and I was not able to do my exercises. I got scared that I would not be able to complete this process, that my opportunity to change would be taken away from me forever. I have had to take it easy for quite awhile and although this has stalled my progress, I am still working toward my goals.I've had to face the setback and reevaluate my timelines.

The biggest fear I have faced along my tranformation was taking and posting the before photo of myself. I was eberassed to look at that photo and I certainly did not everyone else to see it. The fear that I need to face this week is my fear of running, I have not ran in so long that it scares me to even try. I have done an excellent job at working out and doing cardio but, for some reason I am scared to actually run. This next week I am going to run, I am going to the track and I am going to have a race with my children.~ Tori

I have lways had an all or nothing mentality. So, when things don't go as planned I'd like to think that I have become better at adapting and moving forward. I also realize that this is an area that I need to continue to work on.

A fear i have over come is the perfection thing,i have learned i don"t have to eat perfect and don"t have to be perfect at the gym"just get in the door". The fear i need to work on this week is,"i have to finish the transformation-its easy to stop and give up.

All I'm going to say here is WOW. This assignment really hit me between the eyes. It's all in my blog though. It turned out to be very long.

“FEAR-False Evidence Appearing Real” --Charles Fillmore. In early July, I was sick for a few days. During that time I relapsed into to low-level bad habit of eating junk food to comfort myself. After nine weeks of successfully following the EFL food plan and BFL fitness plan to a tee, there I was acting out old patterns of my pre-transformation self. I was scared that I was going to lose my connection to the transformation and end up giving up because in my warped mind “I had failed.” But I was honest on my accountability blog and I reached out to Coach Stoney for help and I made it through and started fresh by the end of week! This experience was a huge turning point in my transformation. The words “progress not perfection” became a reality for me rather than words just words that sounded good. I learned that a slip up does not constitute an irrevocable failure! So fast forward to week 14 of my transformation, I came down sick again. Guess what? I had to rest (Coach taught me to rest when I need to rest and not to get my undies all bunched up in a wad over it) but I was able to adhere to clean eating on the EFL food plan. Nope, I did not regress to that old low-level bad habit of eating junk food to comfort myself. Now that’s progress worth smiling about! As for a current fear that I must face… I am fearful that I will get sick again and my training for the HALF marathon will be further disrupted and I won’t be prepared to complete the race or I will get sick and not be able to participate at all. This possibility is very SCARY especially since I have so many wonderful people who are supporting me with generous pledges to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I don’t want to let the kids down, my donors down or myself down. I am going to continue to try to exercise mind over matter. I may see my physician this week and let me him check me out thoroughly for some reassurance. I am due for an exam in late September anyway. As for my illness this past week, it’s been mainly fatigue. My husband informed me this morning that he recalculated our walking path from last Sunday and we actually walked 8.5 miles including a rigorous climb. It’s completely possible that I overtrained last Sunday as I was only scheduled to walk 6 easy miles. I invested in a new pedometer so we should be good to go this afternoon. ~Christine

Assignment #15 proved to be a little more difficult for me than I thought it would be. I decided not to post until I could give an actual report of my "fears". First of all, the fear I have already overcome through this transformation is the fear of not being in control. This may not sound like a fear, but let me explain. When I would stress out, or get upset at some situation, I would loose control sometimes. I would binge eat because I would loose all my will and let my stomach take over. One of my favorite sayings is... "When emotions are high, intelligence is low". This is so true for any situation, really. Another out of control characteristic is my yelling at my kids instead of talking with them in a quiet voice. Don't get me wrong - some times it requires a yell to get their attention after several softer attempts have failed, but "loosing it" at a bad situation always makes them and me feel so much worse. HOWEVER... last week proved to be a turning point for me that I want to share. The morning proved to be more hectic than usual and my nerves seemed a little more raw. My kids were in the back yard playing with friends, I just washed my dog in the kiddie pool out back and she rolled in the mud as soon as I finished so I had to do it again. The phone rang and I needed to come into my office to look at my calender when my daughter starts screaming that Ian has the hose and is spraying it INSIDE the house. I hung up the phone and came running and sure enough, my two-year-old son Ian was hosing down the table with everything on it as well as the chairs and the floor. Instead of "loosing it", I just started laughing. I turned off the water and hugged him, called him a little stinker and got to work mopping up the mess. THAT was definately not how I would normally react - so I AM TRANSFORMING and it makes me so happy. As for my fear I worked on last week - it has everything to do with the fear of the unknown. So I had this crazy dream that left me thinking… there is so much power in words. One word can change someone’s perception of something in an instant. Some days when a sale sign in a clothing store catches my eye, it’s the 50% off in huge letters, but then in the fine print it reads… “Buy one, get the second at 50% off.” Or, the other ones I notice and sneer at are “Up To” in small print. I usually don’t realize it until I’m drawn into the store and I leave somewhat frustrated at not reading the fine print. Some days I feel like I have been duped. What I was thinking about today is life and how simple and precious and fragile it truly is. My friend Dennis is dying and I can’t help but wonder what the doctors have told him. They’ve said he has 6 months, but is it more than 6 months, almost 6 months, nearly 6 months, should be 6 months or “UP TO” 6 months. “Up To” is quickly becoming my least favorite 2 words in the whole world. What it really means is… it’s a crapshoot! If someone is dying and is told they have 6 to 8 months of life left – and had enough strength to muster - wouldn’t that person live each day like it was their very last day? Wouldn’t the loved ones around them hold them as tight as they can, help them along in every aspect because one never knows if tomorrow is the end? For those of us who live life without a terminal disease or chronic illness, we still never know what is going to happen that day. There could be a freak accident or something, ending a precious life. We can’t live in fear of the unknown; we just have to prepare ourselves. I believe in telling those you love how much you love them. I believe in holding your loved ones, kissing them and letting them know how special they are. I believe in getting up every day, thanking your Father in Heaven for the breath of life and trying to make every day count. It’s easy to forget and take things for granted, especially LIFE. It’s easy to miss opportunities of telling those around you that you love them. It’s easy to forget how simple and precious and fragile life truly is. Unless you have someone to remind you! Today, I want to tell all my friends and family how much I love you and am so grateful for you all in my life. I am truly blessed! In D&C 38:30 we read, “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear”. So, I am preparing myself the best I can and trusting that my Father in Heaven knows what’s best for me. I will do all I can to the best of my abilities and trust he will take care of the rest. I will no longer be afraid of the unknown, or at least I will look at it through different eyes. Thank you Bill, for this assignment!

Fear that I have overcome is - raising a teenager!!! My daughter is great and it's not so scarry anymore...! I want to skydive but I wont be overcomming that fear next week! I will try again to quit smoking again...next week! I dont have a lot of fears! I fear things that are out of my control so I can't perdict them in order to change them! I dont fear any animals or anything... thanks : )

Assignment 15 "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" Your answer to that question will clearly show you the fear you need to confront within the next 7 days. Each week ask yourself that question and continue to face your fears so you can keep on going strong! I really should develop some healthy fears. I am not afraid of some of the things that I should be afraid of. Here is my biggest most irrational fear... Bad things happen if I go to church. I have had 3 really bad things happen while I was at church, or close enough after that I connect going to church with loss of wealth, health and catastrophic occurrence. I know that it is irrational...in my brain, but in my heart...I believe it...stronger than my brain. I am working on this one. I started going to church at the beginning of the 2nd transformation and I have faith that I will not have anything to fear. I am facing the fear, I have not conquered it.

I have a fear of failure. Stems from being too hard on myself...a perfectionist. I always had the mindset that it was better to not try something if there was a chance of failure. That way I couldn't fail..just don't do it, don't even try. I stepped away from that mindset and committed to this challenge. And finished it. Did I meet all of my goals? No, but I am truly fine with that as I now know I can go past the end result and live in the moment and be happy with it. A fear I need to face this week? Driving. In traffic. Not on an empty back road. Yes that's right, I am 36 years old and I don't have my license. Why? Fear of driving. I did get my learning permit a year ago, but rarely practice. I use excuses such as..too much traffic, it's raining, it's snowing, blah blah blah. I need to face this fear head on and get practicing so that I can have the freedom that so many others enjoy.

The fear of starting something and not finishing it. The fear of failure. If I don't start it, then I can always look forward to that possibility that I can do it, but if I do it and fail then --- . "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" I used to hear echoeing in my ear. But, --wow, that's faded. No, I'm not ashamed of myself even if I don't do it perfectly. Right now, I have learned to swim like a swimmer! (sort of) That's pretty rewarding. I'm learning to dive (at 74 y/o) and that's pretty awesome also. When I first started looking down into that deep end of the swimming pool, it was like facing a black hole of fear and pain. I was determined to do it and I did, then I did, then I did, then I did. I'm still not "there" but I on't fear it like I did and actually look forward to it. In facing my fears, I have learned to face myself!

This one is sooooooo easy. Yes my fear was failure. Fear of failure. If I started the process, there was a chance it wouldn't work. What if I follow the food plan, follow the exercise plan, and all the assignments, and it doesn't work. I was different, it could work for everyone else, but not me. If I don't start, and don't try, I can't fail, because I didn't try in the first place. Does that make sense to anyone else out there? Now my future fear is nearly the same. My end of the challenge is coming up and I KNOW I won't make my goal. I have made progress, don't get me wrong. But, I will not make that size 10 by the end of this challenge. It's not going to happen. I have not made enough progress. I will not stop trying though. Carmen

Assignment 15- A fear that I have overcome in the last 17 weeks is the fear of being hungry. Yes, I realize that this sounds marginally ridiculous - I don’t think I’ve ever really been hungry in my life. But BC (before challenge) I think I had a squirrel mentality – I was always stocking up, fearing lean times ahead. I wasn’t a big snacker, but I could put away some serious amounts of food at meal times, eating what I now know were several servings at a time. I have since learned that it isn’t necessary for me to sock away a day’s worth of food at each meal. Since I can eat again in only a few hours I now pace myself and eat reasonable size servings throughout the day. I am not a squirrel, nor am I living during the end times. Big discovery.  The thing I think I still fear, and need to let go of in order to successfully move forward and make better progress in my transformation is a fear of success. Once upon a time I was in pretty rockin’ shape, and I remember feeling judged by others. Yes, people would admire my physique, my dedication to fitness, my joie de vivre, but they were also envious, and that made me kind of nervous. In some ways it seemed easier to just blend. This is a tough one for me. 17 weeks in I still feel conflicted. I recognize that I need to figure this one out and move on in order to reach my goals. Round 2? 

wow. very interesting. I began this one DAYS and DAYS ago, finally put it in writing and dated it August 5th, THEN now just posted it in my Assignment Blog! ....because I'm still tryin to come up with another 'fear' that I need to deal with this week! Oh, not to fret, I'm SURE something will come to the surface sooner or later. I've got plenty of time. But, it was EASY to confess the fear that I've ALREADY had to deal with! It had to do with the fear of being misunderstood or the fear of what others might think (here in the community). VERY interesting. Didn't know that this would come out in an assignment, but I knew God wanted me to share it sooner or later in this context when HE brought it up! Well, looks like He did !:-) ...and the gory details are in my Assignment #15 post in my Assignment blog!

In some situations I was afraid of speaking up and voicing my opinion, worrying to much what others would think. Now that doesn't seem to be too much of an issue. If they don't like my opinion, oh well.... I've also had the fear of bring up health issues with friends and family.... I'm still young, but I'm at that point with others where a healthier lifestyle will seriously change there lives... and I know by setting an example, maybe it will inspire them and others to make a healthy change in there eating and excerise routines. My next fear, in a way is time management and organization, I am still working on that.

Fears. I believe that fear is the opposite of faith. So when I am fearful, it means I am not practicing faith. One fear I have overcome through this Transformation process is the fear of overexertion....pushing myself too hard and...I don't know....dying??? Sounds silly putting it in writing. The HIIT has definitely helped me overcome that one and I have not died...though I've felt close a few times. Since I overcame that fear, my fitness level has obviously increased and improved. The fear I still have to release is the fear of gaining weight back. I have come a long way, but still suffer an occasional illogical thought that because I ate something I must be instantly fatter. How ridiculous is that one? So..during this week and especially on free day, I will 'freely' enjoy some treats and KNOW, by faith, that because I eat clean 6 days out of the week, my body will continue improving, getting stronger and leaner and maintaining my new body I have worked so hard to achieve; all this in spite of the treats I eat once per week! I feel better already!

Assignment 15 1. Conquered Fear - So many so here's a recent one....Letting go of comfort food thinking that I couldn't manage without the junk food at all!!! 2. Yet to be conquered - So many so here's one ...Everytime I think about being one my own in the future as my husband is older than me and I am 58, i get so nervous and scared. It ruins my day and is very damaging. As my family network is small I get scared and feel very alone...Tackling this must involve less of a preoccupation with unknown and more spiritual work. I think I will focus more on spiritual guidance and less on trying to control what cannot be controlled.

I am afraid of releasing past grudges and hurts. I am afraid that if I do so, I will be hurt again. This next week I will focus and releasing hurts, grudges, preconceived notions and first impressions so that I can continue to grow. I won't expect more hurt, I will anticipate the freedom and new life this exercise will foster. THANKS BILL!

A fear I have overcome is staying away from the drinks. When I started my Transformation I really did not think I could keep from having a drink. My plan was to not drink until my birthday (June 5th) and when my birthday came I would have one or two to celebrate my progress. My real fear was being around other people when they were drinking. I knew I would want to drink with them and have more then one or two. Well, I have been in that situation several times and my fear was pretty much unfounded. Don’t be fooled I did want a drink on many occasions but the “want” was not as much as I thought it would be and I was able to say “no” pretty easy. It is now July 14, 2009 and I have not had a drink in 107 days. My birthday came and went and I celebrated with a smile. A fear I have and have had for a long time is having people see me working out. I hate feeling like they are watching me. I know they are!! What are they thinking? Do they think I look stupid? I’m I doing the exercise wrong? Are they laughing at me? Do they think I am gross looking? Do they think I am a fat slob? Well, let’s see if I can confront this fear and go workout and not care what the people around me are thinking. Wish me luck!!

I’ve considered this assignment as objectively as I could since it was first posted, and I think for the most part, I really am “consciously competent” and even beginning to cross that bridge to “unconsciously competent”… There was a time in my life when my fear of things really held me down. In 1997, I got my first mtn bike, and I got into mtn biking with a group (quick “shout” to all those “Thursday Night Irregulars” – you guys rocked!) Biking with those guys taught me a lot about facing down my fear. Mtn biking is all about confronting your fear. I can remember when I would get off and walk a lot. Then facing down fears of climbing, fears of falling, fears of crashing, fears of descending, fears of riding “rock gardens”, roots, ruts, “skinnies”, etc. There are still plenty of things I run across that I’m fearful of riding. But I work diligently to face those fears. My most fearless moment riding was last year in Moab, Utah. I was descending down a trail called Amasa Back (a true world class classic!). I was riding along the edge of cliff, 100’+ drop off to my right, less than 18” away… the trail led to a small drop, about 2 feet, and then another drop right after that. I skipped off both drops, the bike and me completely airborne, I pulled a “cross-up/kick-out” on each drop (crossing my handlebar up and kicking my rear wheel out), landing both, and continually to rail down the trail. Facing my fears steadily over the years has led to moments like that, moments where I’m just amazed at what I can do. And facing down those fears on the trail has led to courage in other areas as well. We’ve moved several times, always willing to take on a bigger and better challenge for the right opportunity. Moving from the West to the Midwest was very daunting, but we had the courage to do it. I don’t shy away from new challenges at work – I’m comfortable with the uncertainty they bring. Now then, all of that being said, naturally, there is always room for progress. And I’ve had to think long and hard to really try to uncover some of the fears I currently have that may be holding me back. The biggest one I uncovered has to do with my professional development, and that is to pursue a Masters degree. I’ve been toying with it for a couple of years now, but I haven’t committed. I’m fearful of the time involved, and I’m a little daunted by the challenge that such a pursuit would entail. But in line with this assignment… I’ve decided to feel that fear… and do it anyway. I just sent a note to the University to get my packet to enroll. I will be enrolled by the end of the month. I admit, I am a little scared, but I also know that every time I’ve accomplished anything great in my life, I’ve felt that same fear. It just means that something great is about to happen!

Assignment 15- I had a fear of addressing large crowds once. Now Its seem like it comes natural to speak before larges crowds of people in trainning rooms or Civic Centers. The fear I will overcome this week is taking me Free day on Saturday and getting and begining my week on Sunday. When I tried this before, I normally end up taking both sat and sun as a free day and somtimes MOnday.

Assignment # 15 - 6.17.09 Feel the fear and do it anyway~ During the past 18 weeks I have faced many fears, the biggest of which (and still is) to talk openly and candidly about my eating disorder, sugar addiction, breast implant rupture, capsular contracture and removal, or pretty much everything I write about, because I am outwardly a pretty shy person (compared to the extroverts I gravitate towards....). I am most comfortable writing. It is something I truly love to do....ever since I was a little girl I have kept a journal~ I am more of a thinker, and a writer by nature. I like to edit and re-work what I say. I like perfection, and I like quiet peacefulness~ I really don't enjoy conflict and I avoid it at all costs. Each time I am faced with feeling the fear of sharing my personal life experiences, I force myself to do it anyway, because I have found that the more I talk about a particular subject in my blog or with others who have similar struggles as I do, it actually helps me feels empowered to stay on course and keep moving forward. I have so much shame about my eating disorder, and everything I have put myself through in my life. I think food addictions are like that. Somehow the addiction has become so intertwined with who I am (or am not) as a woman, a mother, my sexuality....it's like a bad straight jacket that has had me in chains for years. I don't really know "who" I am, well, after 18 weeks I am finally beginning to discover that person again. I think my real "self" has been hidden under these protective layers of fat and skin for years....peeking out here and there on a yo-yo diet, then emerging with full force back into my disordered life of eating and hiding. This time was the charm. I have failed hundreds, perhaps thousands of times to emerge from this shell I created so long ago. Finally, Transformation helped me to press through~ I don't know why, but God does. I leave it in His hands the answers to that question. I just know that I am forever thankful~ There is a quote I love by Ralph Waldo Emerson. In Round 2 I want to carry it forward with me: "Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true." So I press on into Round 2, I continue to move forward into the next 18 weeks and put my favorite quote into action. James 2:20 discusses the importance of putting action into your faith~ :)

A fear I faced during this challenge: The fear that I would not honor my self-promise and FINISH all 18 weeks! I DID IT!!! I finished! A fear I will overcome in the next week: The fear that I will not get my packet finished in time! I WILL FINISH MY PACKET AND GET IT IN THE MAIL BY JULY 3.

After reading about assignment #15 two quotes really stuck with me. "Feel the fear and do it anyway" and "Hold the intention of becoming a person who faces their fears". They struck me so much because for years I have let fear play too large a role in my life. I can over think and analyze things to the point that I am over come with fear about making the wrong decision or doing the wrong thing. I want to be a person who INTENTIONALLY faces their fears, rather than passively letting them dictate the direction of my life. One fear that I have made huge progress in overcoming during this transformation is the fear of the unknown. I like to have a plan. I like to know what is coming next. I like being comfortable in familiar places. Throughout this transformation I have continually put myself in new and momentarily uncomfortable situations, and found that doing so can result in big rewards. Just joining a social networking site was completely new to me, and although it seems silly, it was scary. I had no idea how this would work. I just had to stop thinking about it an join. Yes, I was a little nervous, but within a week I had made new friends and found support, and it felt far better than comfortable. I have tried new classes, gone new places, and reached out to more people. All of these things have resulted in more happiness and less fear. A fear that I will confront is to stop fearing that people will not like who I am if I am not who they want me to be. When I interact with people I am very careful about what I share and how I share it. It is very difficult for me to be completely open, because I never want anyone to think less of me. I don't want to say the wrong thing, upset anyone, or turn anyone off. That is not authentic, it is muffling who I am, and it is also a little self absorbed to think that people are giving that much thought to what I do and say :). My goal is to talk and interact (and blog :) ) more freely. I know who I am and who I belong to, that is what matters. I know where I stand and what my convictions are and as long as I am living by them I should be without fear. I know that I am so blessed to be surrounded by people that love me for who I am, and it is senseless to believe otherwise. Okay, I just overcame another fear by sharing all of this!!!!!!!! :) I survived!

The biggest fear I guess that I had to overcome was opening up and describing my feelings and my faults to people I don't know. This was hard for me to do. I had to allow others to see my faults and I did not like that. What has happened as a result of this is that I have realized that everyone else has the same issues and by opening up it allowed me to move beyond the fear and get moving in the right direction. I have always been a very private person in discussing my feelings. Now I seem to be able to not only discuss them, but also put them down on paper for all to see. The fear I plan on overcoming in the next days or so is the fear of confrontation. I don't like confrontation and it is mainly due to a lack of confidence. With the transformation that is going on I can see that my confidence level is high and I am ready to take on the confrontation. As a matter of fact I will be taking on a confrontational issue tomorrow at work. I must be confident and certain in my approach. I took on one yesterday and did just okay in my eyes. I feel I lost some confidence in the middle of the conversation and lost some footing. All in all it turned out okay and I feel better because I am facing tough issues that cause heartburn for fellow workers. Thanks for giving me the courage and confidence to face these issues.

Fear I have overcome is the 'Fear to Love Me' . Fear to overcome within week - Fear of sounding stupid.

I used to have a fear of failing. I was obese for nearly 14 yrs and was on the brink of accepting the fact that this is how it was and who I was. That it was too late to do something about it. I will be making a transition from the restaurant business to personal training and I will be out of my comfort zone initially. The fear is always asking myself, how will I do, how effective will I be etc.

1. I was very uncomfortable and afraid to wear a bathing suit and let a lone take a before and after photo, but I did it!!! 2. I am afraid of what other people think. This has been a challenge for me throughout my childhood all the way up to being an adult. This fear extends into other areas like Fear of speaking Fear of writing Fear of being recognized Fear of being talked about I will work on now and next time this week: Writing. I will feel the fear and just write from the heart, not worrying if it sounds good or what others think.

It took me an entire week to decide what to write for this post- and I still am only somewhat sure of what it is I want to state. Basically put, the biggest fear that I've overcome is the fear that if I commit myself to something- then it will "put me on a path to uncertainty." Fortunately for me, however, this has been proven to be utterly untrue. The transformation process has taught me that the further I travel down these "unknown roads" (I.E. getting-up at 3AM for a workout, eating properly, etc.)- the more control I have over where I'll end-up. Logically, this makes perfect sense. I mean, how can I speak with authority and make objective assessments about my life- and where it's going if I never dare to venture beyond that which is comfortable and familiar?? The fear that I wish to overcome is the fear of having to rely on others. I am an introvert in the most extreme sense of the word- and I have been, for the bulk of my life, completely autonomous (OK, not as a baby!!) The thought of needing another human being is a fearful thing for me- and I suspect that if I just reach out a bit more, then I will see what it is that I am missing. Anyway, Thanks Bill, great assignment!!

1. Fear I’ve already overcome: I have realized through people reading my profile and blog that this is the first time anyone has shown such an interest in my dream for me and I discovered I was terrified of succeeding as an author. That fear is changed to thinking more about how much fun it’s going to be to accept all the rewards of being who I’ve always known I’m capable of becoming. Walking away from, my dependence on the abuse I experienced as a child is something else I’ve accomplished. I knew this addiction was keeping me from becoming the best version of me but until T.com hadn’t been able to define something that would take its place. Now more often than not I feel/see/believe that I am an outgoing, friendly person. 2. This week’s walk: If I actually send a query letter to an agent, I risk finding someone who wants to represent me. I started this week by asking my editor to do some research to find agents who represent books like mine. I’ve also committed time to finish the query letter and my resume. Two giant steps through being afraid of succeeding.

The fact that I am even here, writing this assignment right at this moment, for me, exudes a HUGE sense of accomplishment. It means that I have overcome more fears than I even recognized existed before. Something has clicked, at last! With God's Grace, I managed to FLIP THE SWITCH and make my healing a top priority to facilitate Him with my personal request ( a birthday gift of healing on April 10th), of healing my body for my birthday this year. I acknowledged that I had suffered enough, eight years!!! I was ready to cross to the other side and gain my power back and live the life He had planned for me, because the one I was living for me was NOT working for me any longer! Nothing was! My FEAR at this present time, even after eight months of perseverance is my life turning upside down due to financial death, causing me to abort my path, and not be able to finish this healing journey that I'm on. My landlord has called me about six times in the last three days. I am behind now $8,000. The ultimatum tonight was, if I don't have half the money by July 1st, and the other half by August 1st, I have to move out. I have been fighting financial hardship, tooth and nail throughout my entire healing journey. If it weren't for the support of my family, that truly would not have been possible this time either! Stress and anxiety has always flipped me off my healing journey in the past....something happened this time, where I try not to allow people or my circumstances to dictate my worth, or lack thereof. And somehow mange to hold it together. Ordinarily, I would be buried in a huge bowl of popcorn right now, smothered in butter and salt. Instead, I came straight to my assignments to vent in a positive, constructive way. My dinner salad to the left of me, my supplements and water bottle to the right of me. If that doesn't prove something has changed inside of me, I don't know what has. Because the truth of the matter is, I have beens truggling to turn my financial situation around for a very long time. Nothing I seem to do is enough to get where I know I'm going. Every month is a struggle and a question mark? Can we cover all the bills? I have become the observer in God's Great Movie! That's what I have become...that is definitely spiritual growth, instead of reacting, I observe, and BREATHE It all in, and let it flow right out...I hold on to nothing...cause I know what doing so has done to my health and well-being! I have grown...I have grown...thank you GOD....thank you for my meditation program....I am forever in debted for entrusting me with it and sending it to me to rescue me first and foremost! Anchor yourself to your intentions, the purest one's for the greater good, and let all anxiety that comes up flow through you, do not harbor it, or claim it as yours, it is merely a fact of life, the ebb and flow of things. Do not prevent the flow by hanging on to things and claiming them, like anxiety, instead claim SELF-EMPOWERMENT, claim to be an OBSERVER, not a reactionary! You can do this...if you need my help, I'm happy to share my CD with you. I know you will become a changed person! You have no idea how I have transformed from FRAZZLED to FIT!!! lol Hugs from California...Demi

I'm sure there are many fears I have over come during this Transformation process and some I'm not even aware of. But the one that haunts me and holds back my progress isn't one I can say I can conquer in a week. However, it is one I have been battling my whole life and one I have made enormous progress with since I began this Transformation. And that is the fear of what other think of me and the fear of not living up to their expectations. I am more outgoing and willing to put my true self out there and not worry about what others think as long as I am comfortable with the person. 18 weeks ago, I couldn't say that. However, for example, if I see someone I have not seen in a long time, I will run the other way. I don't want to be seen old and fat with braces on. I know if I felt I was truly beautiful, I would be fine. I know it's a lot of vanity mixed with shyness tossed with some low self esteem. And I know where in my life this foundation was set. It is still very hard to conquer. I will continue working on this for the rest of my life. I know if I put it in the back of my mind, even for a moment, it will creep in and take over again. By starting and completing this Round and by finally having the guts to post my before picture, I know this fear is not something I am going to let cripple my life anymore. I am a better person for knowing, understanding and facing my fears.

I'm proud to have overcome my fear of "not being able to do it." After so many failed attempts at improving my health, when beginning this challenge, I genuinely feared that I would fail again. Over the weeks, I've shed this fear and replaced it with the belief that I can do it! A fear that still remains, which I intend to confront head-on throughout the next week, is one that I've touched-on in other posts. I have a fear of not being "enough" - whether thin, fit, pretty, etc. I know that I need to work on believing I'm even greater than my highest potential. I know that if I let go of this doubt in myself the progress in this challenge would be tremendous. I already believe that I can do it, now I just need to believe in the beauty of my results and have the confidence which couples so well with progress.

I was terrified to talk to people. I am always afraid I won't know what to say. I am no longer afraid. It is safe at T.com to express what I feel. I have had so many positive dialogs with people here that my fears have gone.Also, assignment 11, letting go of worrying about what others think has freed me from that fear. Each assignment has built on the next one. It is like we are building a firm foundation for our lives. What do I fear now?? I don;'t even know. Each day I am progressing. I only take it a day at a time, so I have yet to find what I fear.... I am in love with life. With my salvation and my Faith in God. I gave him all my fears.

Assignment #15 write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. I have overcome a negative attitude and jumping to the wrong conclusion. That was two very big steps for me to overcome. Recognizing that I had an attitude was eye-opening! I truly didn’t realize how my words and actions portrayed a negative attitude. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation? I am afraid of not being capable of quitting a terrible habit that is holding me back physically and mentallAy. SMOKING! I have not wanted to quit in the past thinking, “I enjoy them”, “I would gain too much weight if I quit”, and the main one “They help me deal with stress”. I have replaced those thoughts with: “they make my teeth yellow, give me bad breathe, make me look old and they are killing me physically and financially! I am going to quit in the next week (7 days starting in the morning). Everyone who reads this, please say a prayer for me!!! This is really big!!!! I know I can do all things through God who strengthens me!! Praise God.

A fear that I've already over come... well, there are many but I will focus on one. It was the fear of what others would think of me. This was absolutely crippling for me. It affected every aspect of my life. I overcame this fear when I saw a statement that read, "What other people think of you is none of your business!" It was so powerful, that it stood out like a sore thumb and hit me like a lead brick! I realized that I would never snoop and read someone's personal and private journal so why then was I always trying to read their thoughts. It really isn't my business to know, guess, worry or control what they think of me. My business is to be conscious of my actions, to always have good intentions, and maintain my integrity. If I have done these things, then I have no control over what they think and therefore it's none of my business. A fear still to overcome... well, two specifically come to mind. Both of which I am currently working through! The first is the fear of falling prey to my self destructive nature. History has proven time and time again that I usually sabotage myself just before the finish line. I have felt this pattern creeping up in the last few weeks and am either creating road blocks by not preventing them or I'm using them as excuses for not being able to exercise or get in the 6th meal. A lot has changed during this last month, like my husbands work schedule, that has contributed to what I perceive as road blocks. For instance, our daily workout routines, meal plans and life in general is and has always been balanced around his work schedule. For the last several years, we based everything on a noon to 9pm shift that has now changed to 8am to 5pm. This of course has completely turned our schedule upside down and thrown everything out of whack bringing in to question, self sabotaging patterns. The second is the fear that I'll never be enough. What I mean by that is, even though I've continued to achieve significant progress in my physical health, mental health, emotional health and spiritual health, in addition to becoming better at my job, which is being what I like to call a "Domestic Engineer", I'm always on the look out for or fearful of being crushed under the pressure of not being able to stay on top of everything. As I stated above, I am currently working through these fears. Now that I'm in the last week of my first challenge, I can honestly see my confidence growing and the fears fading. I know that I will complete this challenge and it will go down in the books as one of the first of many future accomplishments. I also know that I will continue to put one foot in front of the other in order to progress towards improving my skills for managing my home. As I look forward to starting my 2nd round of transformation, I can honestly say that I have been transformed into a new and improved Allison and look forward to what comes next.

A fear that I overcame already was weaning myself off of the anitdepressant I was taking daily. I did it sllloooowwwwlllyy over 6 weeks. I had instances where I felt a bit "weird", actually physically, but that was it. I started taking them 5 years ago for the wrong reasons. I was drinkning alcoholically and couldn't understand why I felt depressed! Duh! I would not have done it were it not for this Transformation! Coming up with a fear I have to face has been very difficult. My biggest fear would be that I won't continue on this path of transforming my life. My weight loss has slowed to almost nothing for the past month. But I will keep at it. I've already re-upped for the next round. I'm already booked for Denver, but I haven't signed up for the race yet. I'll get that done this week. peace. steve

As I come close to the end of my 15th. week, I also come to grips with facing my fears. I know that when I first started this challenge, I was very focused on the power of positive pressure as it relates to my phyiscal life, i.e., training diligently with weights, conducting high-intensity cardio sessions, eating a good balance of protein and carbs 5-6 times a day, in order to burn the fat & feed the muscle; in order to "look" the way a Transformation Champion or a Body-for-LIFEer is supposed to look. Those were my goals, the future vision of myself I maintained and that fueled my inner fire. I was doing pretty well, too! I by week 12, I'd lost about 15 lbs. (only 5 lbs. short of my goal) of bodyfat, and my muscles were beginning to become noticeable to even my wife, who sees me every day! I was feeling pretty good about myself. Then I hit the proverbial "brick wall." You see, I've had an issue with chronic neck, back, and shoulder pain for the better part of 6 years now. Initially, I felt that by accepting this challenge and jettisoning all doubts about my physical limitations, I would overcome this pain through dedicating myself to high-intensity exercise, consisting of both weight-training and cardio. As time progressed, I was losing bodyfat, increasing muscle mass and development, and feeling more confident in my appearance. But then my momentum came to a sudden halt. When I realized I could no longer train with weights due to the increasing and unbearable pain my body was suffering as a result, it became crystal clear to me that what I needed to do was clear my mind of certain superficial expectations and objectives and replace them with deep, visceral - ethereal - objectives. In other words, my original goals of losing 20 lbs. of bodyfat and gaining muscle mass became irrelevant and self-defeating because I was ignoring my body's pleas for help. I ignored the pain, rationalizing that what I was doing would eventually make it go away. After 12 weeks of consistent exercise in the gym, the pain had only gotten worse. It was time to face reality, ultimately, facing my fears as an imperitive. I had to understand and accept that the goals that are truly most important, most valuable, and of the highest priority for me - here and now - are not fat-loss and physique development, but are emotional and spiritual transformations. Ultimately, I believe everyone on this journey realizes that at some point in time during their process. But my physical goals changed, too, from focusing on "appearance" to focusing on attaining, then maintaining a pain-free body, one that is light and unburdened by the stress of injury. I need rest, but I also need to strengthen my muscles so as to prevent them from proneness to further injury. I've been at a crossroads for the past several weeks. Being at a crossroads is never easy, but I'm grateful that this crossroads is a relatively simple one to stand at. For me anyway. After all, I know my adversity could be so much worse, and for that, I am truly grateful! While standing at the crossroads of any decision we must make in life, it is natural for us to stand there, apprehensive about making a decision on which way to go. We don't know what lies down any of the roads ahead. If we stay where we are, we don't risk being struck by the adversities that come with traveling down any given path in life. Just the same, if we stay where we are, at the crossroads, never making a decision to go this way or that, we never know the power in confronting our fears head on and overcoming them in order to grow and lift others up to do the same thing when they are at the crossroads of their lives. Regardless of what lies ahead in my journey, I am content with the path I've chosen. And there are a few certainties I am aware of. Physique development is no longer a priority; however, I can't say it never will be. It's a matter of timing and of changing perspectives. It's a matter of priorities and necessities. For now, my necessity - my priority - is fixing this chronic inconvenience of pain. This was the first fear I had to face during my transformation process. The second, the fear I will face before next week, is that I am going to see my doctor today regarding my pain. I know that what he says may not be what I want to hear - it rarely is - however, it would be foolish and cowardly of me to continue living with the pain and not knowing its source or how I can correct it. It may entail surgery and rehabilitation. If so, let it be. I'll work through it and prevail. I will persist without exception because I have a decided heart. Resilience is a quality essential to human life. The body, heart, mind and soul, they must all be resilient to withstand and overcome those harsh winds that blow on us all, the winds of adversity and personal suffering. But, I am also seeing the beauty and peace in facing my fears. Fear is void and baseless when we stare it straight in the eyes and we confirm, "You have no power over me." And we mean it! The unknown, that which is uncertain and can't be guaranteed to us, tends to cause fear, apprehension, and anxiety. But I have dealt with all this before and I know from personal experience that there is no definite substance to fear. It may as well not even exist as far as I'm concerned. What does exist - I am convinced - is perfect love. I believe in the idea of "focus on progress not perfection," but I can't deny that love itself - the most powerful force in human existence - is perfect. I've said it before and I believe it bears repeating. My definition of perfection is: a state of being in which nothing about you or your circumstances can be improved upon. Obviously, such a state of being does not exist for the character or integrity of human beings, nor will it ever. Unless, of course, you consider love. Love is perfect. How can it not be? Can you or I, or anyone else, think of a way or method to improve the state or effects of love? It's doubtful. In the Bible, there is a passage I hold near and dear to my heart that says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18, Holy Bible Perhaps there is no greater wisdom to live our lives by than by this passage. Maybe the only perfection that does exist - the only one worth pursuing authentically - is unconditional love. In perfect love, may we drive fear out of our lives forever and begin to really live life fully and with purpose, passion, and conscience. - Ronnie

Feel the fear and do it anyway!! Ok!! Through this process I have been striving to do this very thing. There has been so many things through these past 18 weeks that I have had to apply this concept -from my emotions to my experiences, to my actions and reactions.....So many to name.... but one specific fear I have overcome is the fear of being myself and not caring what others think or feel. This was a HUGE one for me. I have been so released to be and share myself with others and not worry about how I have come across or how they will respond!!! Yeah!! As far as a fear that I will confront over the next week is.....fear of NOT making good healthy choices in the midst of wrong environments. I will be working on this one and will be praying for guidance and planning for GREAT choices to be made!!

Assignment #15: Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. I was afraid of being rejected when I posted my before photos. I just did it anyway, despite the fear and am so happy I did! This community is filled with inspiring love and I am glad to be part of it! Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. I am deathly afraid of speaking in front of a group. I blush, sweat and become a basket case. I am going to ask my boss if I can do the reflection at the start of our next meeting, even though I am afraid.

Fears I've overcome is posting my pic for al the world to see !! I want to continue to lose weight til next week.

My first thought is the fear of "not being enough" which I spoke about in the last assignment, but I do feel I'm seeing amazing results through this challenge. Either I'm avoiding or I'm feeling so much better that I don't visit this other fear as often, but I would have to say that it is "Fear Of Abandonment". I believe if I could let go of this fear and overcome it, I would be able to see true inner healing and make better progress in my transformation. I will confront this fear more seriously the next 7 days or as long as it takes to keep on going strong!!

The one fear that i realize that I have let go is that of talking about God more. I have always been one to believe that you don't have to go to a church to be a believer. But I also never read bible passages or spoke openly about God. Today I do both. That is something I would not have done in the past. The fear that I need to face and commit to in the next week is to better my transformation is to follow through with my verbal agreement with myself to sign up for the Denver Marathon. I am not a runner but I will finish that marathon in under 31/2 hours.

Assignment #15 Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. 1. Formed a writing support group and submitted writing to be critiqued. 2. Joined a writing class. Wrote a poem in 8 minutes (per class exercise) and read it in front of the class 3. Joined a monthly music jam group, and played both the fiddle and mandolin along with the other musicians, despite my inferior level of experience and skill. 4. Registered for a 50K trail race (09/12/09) What I am afraid of that I will let go of and overcome. This will allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation? 1.I am afraid of bypassing a Free Day. 2.I am afraid of trying a spin class. What I am doing about it: 1.I plan to skip free day next week and aim for the following week. 2.I will check my gym's schedule for a spin class that I can realistically attend. I will attend this week if possible. Whew! Be still my palpitating heart. ~Brooke

I have recently realized that I am afraid of feeling the emotions that I have covered over in the past with binge eating and other negative behaviors. I am learning to how to face these emotions despite my fear. Thank you! Beth

Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway---I am in sales and am good at acting "as if" and playing a role, even if it means overcoming a fear...i.e. a new product presentation or a ride-along with my manager. Something I have overcome while in the midst of Transformation is running. I don't know exactly what, the distance, running out of air, looking bad, not making it all the way....But now I am up to 1 hour of running/5.5 miles every other day! I have always wanted to be a runner, and accomplishing this during the last 13 weeks has me so jazzed! The things I fear the most for the purposes of the rest of the first Transformation will carry me far if I can overcome them: fear of the unknown with my physical transformation and fear of losing control and going back to the way my inner self used to feel. I have some self-mistrust issues to overcome from all the half-measures and half-truths I have provided myself. The truth is I have always been able to do some sort of workout or diet, but never reached the goals I set out to achieve, therefore not feeling worthy of that change. I have often settled, thinking I am just not that person who is fit and beautiful. Because of how I feel about my outside I have been impatient, self-loathing, and overachieving, "knowing" that myself was not enough. Since working through these assignments and having to endure the timetable I am getting in touch with my spirituality and starting to trust myself. I don't know that I ever have trusted myself...this journey is amazing. When I feel the fear, I am just putting one foot in front of the other and remembering some of the encouraging things I have read and heard from members of T.com. In the past I may have let myself go to that dark place again, this is all unchartered waters and it is beautiful here!

I was so afraid of sharing my goals and dreams with people; I think they really withered away just from being kept locked inside. Feeling the support of the T.com community has brought me so much healing! My final day of Round 1 is next Sunday, May 24. Perfect timing for confronting my HUGE fear of having my photo taken!

Lean into the fear Write down a fear you have already overcome in this process: I had a healthy fear of running in public, I thought I would be the person you see jogging and point at a snicker because they move so slow. I always attributed my lack of desire to run by saying it was boring and why would I choose to do that. About halfway through the process I thought - I want to run, I want to run a 5K. My fear that my lungs and my asthma would hold me back were real. Then step by step I started to run - I leaned into my fear and I believed that I could run. Now I run a 5K on the treadmill when I go to the gym. I ran a 5K with my students and I actually ran the whole thing, outside on the trails and streets around my house. I am planning on running the 1/2 marathon in October. I like to run and frankly - I don't care if people point and laugh at me because at least I am out there hitting the pavement. Identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move foward and make better progress in my transformation? Here it is - my fear of people - specifically that people don't like me and won't respond to me. Several times I have tried to confront this fear here at transformation, but I haven't been successful. Most people don't read my blogs and they certainly don't respond. I reached out to a few people and wrote detailed messages only to receive nothing in return. My fear is that I will leave transformation because I don't feel a "part of" I will confront that fear and continue to put myself out there. There they are the fears.

Undoubtedly my biggest fear throughout life has been the fear of conflict and rejection. For as long as I can remember I’ve looked for ways out or around it without having to deal with it. I think the cause of this has everything to do with my upbringing. My mom remarried when I was about 7 since my father passed away before I was born, and life with a step parent was tough. We endured 11 years from that point on of very dysfunctional, challenging, and belittling life. My step father was a perfectionist. The house had to be just so, the yard had to be immaculate. Grades had to be perfect. We had to be the best at whatever sport we were into. There was so much pressure, and life had become so regimented…to a point where life felt much more like work, and not so much like life at all. I felt a bit robbed of my youth, and I chose to rebel. I had the smarts of the most intelligent kids in school, but I just did enough to get by. I was on the elite of all elite soccer teams with college scholarship offers, but lacked the drive to go on to the next level. I failed my senior year of high school because I missed too many days…just so I could escape to the beach and go surfing. It was all I could do to live my own life and remove myself from the boot camp I was living, but it never came without a price. He made life quite tough for my mom, my sister, and me. Life around the house was always so uncomfortable, and we always felt like we had to be doing something around the house so that we didn’t get scolded for being lazy, or not earning our keep. It was so bad that if we were sitting on the couch watching TV and he came home, we’d quickly turn the TV off and either start cleaning or go to our rooms and “study”. Any time that I felt like I wanted to do something or buy something, I immediately felt as though I would be rejected before I ever got up the guts to ask. The more this went on, the worse I became at fearing conflict and rejection. I finally moved out of the house at age 18 despite the fact that I had another year of high school left. I had to get out of there. I took with me a pretty low level of self esteem, and a very large fear of rejection. If ever faced with a conflict, I’d run. It was so bad that I was scared to ask an employer for a few days off of work in college when my wife’s brother passed away. My boss’s reaction, of course, was that I should take as much time as I needed. It took me a long, long time to get over this, and I think over the years I also felt rejection from my real father since he took his life a few days before I was born. I know that he was going through a lot in his life at that time...he had issues with Vietnam after he came back, he was stressed with his business as it wasn’t going well, and he had to look himself in the mirror every day after being unfaithful to my mom AND he had to be a father to my sister and a newborn that was on the way. I just wish that someone would have been able to help him cope with his issues even if my parent’s marriage wouldn’t have lasted. At least he would have been in our lives, and at least he’d be able to have a relationship with my children. I have worked hard on this loss over the years as well, and despite the fact that I never knew him, I still have a ton of questions for him, and I still love him. It took a lot of work, a ton of courage, and much more nail biting…but I’m finally in a place where I feel that I’m able to overcome this adversity. Today I can easily identify when I’m in a situation where I’m uncomfortable, and it usually arises at work or in an uncomfortable conversation with my wife about finances. The difference today, however, is that I don’t shy away from it. It takes me a moment to identify the fear and to figure out how to deal with it, but I’m at a point where I’m able to work through it now. Working on me through my Transformation has helped me gain the self respect, motivation, and the courage to overcome this issue, and it feels awesome to be in a place where I’m overcoming something that has plagued my life for so long. My new found faith in God has helped tremendously as I know that He will continue to work in my life and will help me when adversity strikes again. A fear that I’ve had over the course of this week that I’ve learned to let go is my fear of where I’m at in my career. I love the line of work that I’m in…no doubt about it, but because of the economy we have been forced to work within such a tight niche that our scope of work is very concise and limited. This is actually good for the company right now because there are a lot of developers that are salivating to get the work that we have right now (much higher volume of work for much less margin). I equate what we’re doing right now as “sausage making”…we essentially take a bulk of information and package it up for the main client that we are working with to sell at real estate committee and then do it all over again each month. Deal after deal, approvals, denials. The creative career that I had not so long ago has turned into something so mechanical and un-meaningful, and I have been struggling with the fact that I’ve been uninspired at work. My fears associated with this issue have been “what if me being uninspired is visible…what if I lose my job? I can’t afford that! What would we do? Where is there to go right now with this economy? I absolutely LOVE the company that I work for, so why am I feeling this way?” I have finally decided to address this issue this week, and undoubtedly need to leave this up to God. Now is not the time to make a career change, and I really don’t want to. I’m asking Him to bring patience into my life…the patience to understand that in time things will change in the economy and we will start working on more of a broader, more creative palette once again. I’ve taken a much different perspective on the issue, and after putting much thought into it this week I’ve decided that it’s time to find challenges within the facets that make up my job today, and embrace them. I’m finding ways to make it fun and inspiring again, and I feel a renewed sense of motivation in my career. This is a load that I have been carrying for 6 months now, and I feel that this assignment has come at the perfect time. Despite the fact that I have been feeling as though I’ve peaked in my current position, I’m finding ways to become even better at the skill sets that I feel I’ve mastered. Moving onward, moving up… ---Eric

One fear I have overcome during this challenge is the fear I had about my back. I was living in constant fear of doing something to my back that would cause another herniated disc. I was pretty much afraid to do anything physical for fear of injury, especially running. I have come to accept responsibilty for my health and have pushed aside my fears of a relapse. If I am meant to have a relapse then that is what will happen. That will be out of my control and I can only control myself and my actions. I have ran a few times for short bursts and felt no ill effects. I will continue to run and improve my health and not let my back condition hold me in a state of fear. One fear I have identified and need to overcome within the next seven days is the fear of standing out and being noticed. I am fearful of drawing attention to myself and looking stupid or sounding stupid. I prefer to hide in whatever situation I'm in as I cannot look or sound stupid If I don't draw attention to myself. I'm afraid of being judged and looked badly upon. I'm afraid of taking on commitments for fear of not being able to be good at them or to give up on them. I think this stems from a lack of self confidence and belief in myself. The next step I will take to overcome this fear is to perform on stage with the band I recently joined. This is a major step and is very stressful

When I started my 18 weeks I was so scared to hike Torrey pines & now that I have done It. It seamed silly to be so afraid. Next fear I have is to volunteer to teach children art. So I start teaching on Fri. This has been something I have avoided for 5 year. So I will looking at my fear as excitement!

My fear, right now, is "confronting my greatest abilities". Not facing the fear of doing but facing the fear of doing and failing. I've always had a tendancy to belittle or diminish what I really want..thinking if I didn't get it, it wasn't worth having. I'm great at talking myself out of things "changing my mind" about one thing or another - persuing the easier road. Afterall, losing your dreams can be quite paiful. So, I face other fears with ease and place "the big one" on the back burner - fear of failure. Not your everyday failure but the BIG one. On thing I can say I've faced and done with miraculouse courage was having children. I swore I would never have kids - my fear was huge - then the first Gulf War broke out while I was in the Air Force Reserve. I was slated for deployment four times - never went. That time really made me see that if I could face war, I could face anything. My boys can "save" the world and I live everyday with these two magnificent young men...knowing tht my fears were unfounded. As a human I think I'm like most...facing fears everyday - some we concure, some we don't but, as an individual I'm proud of what I've done despite my fear and am equally proud to HAVE my fears...as a positive they are motivation. As I've changed my limits from fear to faith; worry to action and being critical to being helpful...I'm lifting my fear UP-ward and moving from fear to motivation!

assignment # 15 The fear that I have overcome would defiantly be. Letting people know the rill me because I was home schooled and was never around people that often and when I was I always had a note with me from my mom stating ( pleas don’t ask Karla to do anything in the group she is very uncomfortable with being put in the spot light and she’s not a reader so thank you for respecting her wish. ) this is how I grow up holding myself back in very big and hurting way always feeling so nerves to be a part of anything and now this transformation is showing me that I am teachable that was a excuse that my Mather used so she did not feel bad because I did not know anything and it was my excuses for not having to step out of my comfort zone , I feel proud that I have opened up to others letting them love my gift’s and my challenges it has been a very uncomfortable feeling opening this up and letting others see my challenges specially because it is something that comes so easy for so many but for me it has been a very scary , uncomfortable, challenge but one of the most rewording things that I have done in my hull life. And a fear that I can still overcome is the fear of leadership I plane on having a roll in being a leader now I have a goal of starting a transformation group were I will get a group of people together and we will read from the body for life, help each other with recipes, and exercise, we will lien to the redo show together and discuss different topics, it will be a live support group that I will put together and hold at my home. I have loved this transformation and what it has done for me and my family and I am so letting go of my fears and I am teaching my children that life is what you make it you can put all kinds of stumbling blocks in front of your path or you can jump over them and keep on making good things happen, sending love to all of you. Love Karla Edit | Delete May 11, 2009 | comments (0) |

What fear have I overcome with this challange? The fear of meeting new people. Since I have started Transformation I have been to 6 meet and greets! 1 in Montana, 3 in Utah and 2 In Arizona! This is facing fears people!!!! At least for me it was, totally stepping out of my comfort zone! Fear I Still have that I will confront! Fear of failing....I have done many things in this Transformation journey that have helped me to confront that fear. As I finish this first challange and finish my assignements I will have faced that fear straight in the eyes! I will have conquered the negative self talk that comes from that fear, that says..." Back out now...your going to fail anyway" "Run away... before you set your self up to be hurt" "Your only setting yourself up to fail" In a way I have felt like the Bride in the movie Run Away Bride.....Allways kept her tennis shoes on, just in case she needed to run away! lol Yeah that was me! However I have now taken those tennis shoes off (except to train for the Denver marathon of course. hehe! :))

Assignment #15 Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway A fear that I've already overcome is opening myself up to others. I was afraid to open my heart up in fear that I would be judged and not worthy. What I have found here at T.com is truly amazing. There are people that need what I have to give. That was shocking to me. I had so many people that identified with dealing with the loss of a Mother that needed and appreciated what I had to share. To you all, thank you. A fear that I still need to address is the fear of that Packet. I was just talking to a friend on Transformation and I think I need to take it a question at a time and not look at the whole thing. (Thanks Shannon. You ROCK!) The whole packet looks like a "mountain" I have to climb. I'll just take baby steps and get that baby done!! (Oh, and mailed in.....yikes....that is SCARY!!!)

A fear I have already overcome: That it won't work. That I will do everything I am supposed to do, and it's too late. I am broken and will be stuck like this forever. That the damge I have done to my spirituality and my physicality is irrepairable. A fear I have to still overcome: That it will work and I won't protect it after it's acheived. That I will become complacent and the transformation won't be permanent. That I'll gain it all back only to suffer all over again.

Okay...I know I'm not going to probably finish these by tomorrow...but here's this one. A fear I have overcome while on Transformation is going back to school. I have been on a self discovery journey for about a year when I took a class called the Artist Way last summer. I had a wonderful teacher Kelli who took us on many self discovery journeys and through this class I remembered how much I enjoyed cooking for others. I decided to look up culinary schools on line an then I was literally bombarded all summer long with phone calls from schools. I wouldn't even pick up the phone...I was so terrified about the ball I had set in motion. Luckily one day...Shawna caught me off guard and I picked up the phone. She set up an interview with me and basically started enrolling me before I knew it. Now, there are a ton of 20 year olds at this school and for this single Mom, 42 year old it was a little overwhelming at first, but I dug in my heals and went anyway. I am now in my second quarter and loving it. It is still a little scary somedays...but two of my big goals in life are to own a small cafe and to work at a national park for at least a season I believe through going to school I am getting closer to these two goals. Now, for the next fear. I was contacted a few months ago by a young lady who needs someone to cook cupcakes and decorate them for a wedding party. I talked to this girl once eventhough it scared me to death. She called me a few weeks ago and I have not called her back yet. Whenever I start a new profession, and beleive me that has been often, I am terrified to start. So I committ to calling her back and taking this new experience on! Wish me luck people! I will do this by Wednesday. Jennfier

Assignment #15 Update Update: How I Overcame my fear and did it anyway I really find this amazing! If it didn’t happen to ME I promise I would not have believed it, especially that it happened to me is what’s so amazing because I didn’t think anything or anyone could help my fears go away. Well today was my big evaluation on how I teach the senior class. The lady was coming from the Healthways insurance in Baton Rouge. Seven days, Assignment #15 said in the next 7 days to work on the fear, anything that you are afraid of, feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s been 3 months that I knew this lady was coming and I was frightened to death. Teaching 21 years, my experience, my certifications, everything went out the window. My brain kept telling me she won’t like my class, she’s going to say this and that. My mind played tricks on me that was driving me crazy with fear. Even My boss told me, "Linda you worry too much." Well I did the assignment and said to myself over and over and over again," I will not be afraid, I will not be nervous, I will not get upset or emotional. I will NOT let this ruin my enjoyment I get from doing this class. "I WILL Overcome this fear. I did the assignment on April 3rd, the night Bill put it on his Blog and I worked on it for 7 days. I beat the words on Bill’s blog in my head: "Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...initially scared me to death." -- B.Bender I let my conscious mind step into my subconscious mind and dwell on the fear; telling my subconscious mind that I am not afraid, I have no fear, if she doesn’t care for my class maybe she can shed some light and help me to improve. Wow! The things my mind was telling me to be aware of the fear, aware of the feeling and not get caught up into the fear that I can’t even perform the class. I worked on this assignment for 7 days and then left it behind me to work on #16. Yesterday, one of the ladies at the gym asked if I was nervous about tomorrow. I thought, about what? She said isn’t tomorrow your evaluation? I said oh yea, no I’m not nervous. She said really; I would be a wreck. I said no, there’s no reason to be nervous, I’ve done this for so many years I could do it in my sleep. She laughed and said I wish I were as confident as you are. I had to laugh because I thought, "ME Confident?" Well, the evaluation took place as scheduled; I had just finished my 9am Muscle Pump class and I was soaked with sweat. Laurie came in and I excused myself and told her about the 1st class and was going change clothes. I came back in the aerobic class and set up the chairs , balls and bands as we talked. The seniors all came in and I greeted each one as I always do. We got started and I was not only nervous I practically forgot she was there. I was on a roll just doing my thing, when the class was over and all the seniors left; Laurie and I sat Down to discuss my class. I was smiling and felt confident. Laurie’s 1st words were, " Linda, that was phenomeonal" I was ecstatic, she said all my moves were incredible, I did the class with enthusiasm that carried over to the students. She said she has never seen such an energetic class for seniors. She loved the cool down medition at the end of class using the disco ball and talking to the class to visualize them selves on the beach. Wow! What an exciting report to go home with. It appears that I have overcome my fear ! Assignment #15 I mark off as "SUCCESSFUL!"

Assignment #15 Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. I have overcome sensitivity and a negative attitude That was two very big steps for me to overcome, Recognizing that I had an attitude was extremely hard, I’ve been told I had an attitude since I was a teenager and just denied it and got madder and more upset until I would really go crazy ranting if someone said " You have an attitude". I was always a sensitive child and it followed me through adult hood. I would cry at the least little thing someone said to me. I was always feeling they didn’t like me even if they were just teasing. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" In the next week (7 days) I will overcome the feeling of negative pressure When things don’t go smoothly I feel under pressure, negative pressure, not positive pressure. I get very stressed out, I cry and get emotional and then a panic of fear takes over inside me. I begin thinking "this is too much, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this, or maybe I don’t want to do this anyway. A good example is: I have been certified for group fitness through ACE, AFAA and Fitour. I was certified through only Fitour for Personal Training. I let my Ace and AFAA certification lapse over the years. The owner of the gym where I teach accepted Fitour and my 21 years experience. However when I began teaching the Senior Citizens class Healthways insurance said I need to be re-instated in AFAA’s program to continue teaching the Senior class. I said no problem. I called and ordered my study material. When I saw the material I panicked. I was afraid of failing the test, afraid of not being able to continue teaching the seniors if I didn’t take the test. Because I had only a few weeks to study and get my test completed and submitted to Healthways I let my fear of negative pressure sour me on continuing to teach. My husband talked me through my emotions and made me realize that while I was having a panic attack I could have been studying. He made me realize that my fear was actually a fear of not believing in myself. He say, Linda, you know this stuff you’re been doing it for 21 years. He asked me a few of the questions and I knew the answers. He hugged me and calmed my fears. He told me this was a classic example of me lacking self-esteem and not believing in myself. He reminded me of how much I love my little job and love working with the seniors. He asked do you really want to give up what you love and worked so hard for all these years just because you’re under pressure and don’t believe in yourself. I said no! I studied, took the test, then went to the hospital to take the CPR course. I passed both tests. I guess I can say I already over came it, I Felt the Fear and I Did it Anyway! However I am not claiming that. I know this fear re-occurs. If I don’t put an end to it, it may destroy something that may be very important to me one day. So in the next 7 days I will work on this negative fear I feel and remove it from my thoughts 4-ever. I have no place in my mind or soul or heart to carry about such negative feelings about my self. I have nothing to fear but fear it’s self. I have proved to my countless times that when the going gets tough, Linda can get tough too. I can do it and I WILL! " Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord," …Luck 2:10,11

Oh Man, here we go! I like to think of my self as a person that doesn't have any fears. But I do know better. It don't fear the physical things. Jumping out of airplanes sounds quite appealing in fact. My fear comes from within, I have a huge fear of rejection. What will they think of me, do they like me? Oh, I let them down, I might as well just give up., They don't really want me here. On the other hand, How dare I not be here!! I know I have a gift, I have had people lean on my shoulder more times than I have toes and fingers x10. I know I have an uplifting personality and have so much to give of myself. I only wish I read this assignment sooner. I am making a vow today to break that fear and move forward. I am going to be present every day that I possibly can, even if I think people are sick of hearing from me. :P As for the fear I have overcome, Change!! I have had so many changes in my life, I have thought myself immune to the fear of it. I found that to be wrong as I processed through yet another major change in my life, my career. I thought I had no choice when I was laid off. I thought there were no jobs to be had because I was apart of a dwindling career that is made worse by the "economic present state". So I dragged my feet back into doing home Child care. I wasn't sure I was ready for that change but if the choice was already made, what could I do. Then I found out I did have a choice, I was given a contract opportunity to do Layout design but it was only until October. But I had already decided to do childcare. Perhaps the fear was actually making the decision of the life change. :) Well ultimately, I weighed the odds and decided I will go with the more certain and stable career. Or so I thought. I am waiting on pins and needles still to get kids in my daycare but I know I made the right decision because it will help me to focus more on my family who desperatly needs their mommy right now. It will also help me to focus on my strengths and allow me to better know my home community. My goal is to get my kids involved with swimming ans other sports in which I never had an opportunity to do as a child.

I was afraid i wouldn't stick to this program.... I was afraid people would ridicule me for being so sturn at eating right and going to the gym all the time I was afraid i could never do this... I've done it... And people have supported me through it. I've been afraid to reach out to folks... and I've managed to scrape up the courage to just say what was on my heart, and ask for help, and give encouragment... I used to live as such a diluted version of myself... And now i'm making progress. I am taking this course and learning some skills, and overcoming some fears in a big way right now (the course ends tomorrow) I wrote a blog about it last night It's so amazing how much i've really overcome. Trying to figure out what to overcome in the next week feels a little more challenging to point out... Haha.. the obvious.. I have to take my 18 week pictures this weekend... I dont really wanna! ha... I'm going to do it! I'm discouraged that my physical changes aren't more than they are... but i still made progress... and i'm still committed to continuing this journey... This week i'm going to take those "after" pictures, and I am going to get some journaling stuff prepared to map out some goals for the next 18 weeks... It all feels pretty good actually.

I listened to the archived radio show about fear as I thought about this assignment................... As I listened to the show I thought about my own fears . . I didn’t think I had many, but as the show went on . . so did my list of fears..................................... The Fear of:........... -darkness/ -living life alone/ -dying alone/ -fear of love/ -Fear of not finding the "one" for me/ -Fear that if I did, i'd run him off anyway/ -fear of marriage/ -of having children/ -of not having children/ -of giving up, ending up at 275lb again,/ -of disappointing myself/ -disappointing anyone that looks up to me/ -fear of not being good enough/ -fear of never fulfilling my purpose/ -not making a difference in anything/ -being content to be average/ -losing my job/ -never getting out of debt/ -going to the doctor/ -fear of being hurt/ -fear of being taken advantage of/ -fear that I am not the leader that I am paid to be...... The list can go on and on. . ............. A Fear I have already overcome in this process is: One of my biggest fears is that I wouldn’t finish. . I would fade out. . That I would always need to make a contract with to give away a large some of money if I didn’t meet my goals. To maintain my weight loss and goals. That I would lose momentum. . go back to old habits of not planning, eating lots of fast food and playing video games 20 hours a week. .......................................... But I just finished week 18. . and im finishing up my assignments. Getting ready to send this packet in soon so I can do it all over again! I am breaking the cycle of unfinished tasks and projects!.......................................... During this process I also discovered my purpose for this transformation and my purpose in life. It is a beautiful thing when you discover that and realize you have a reason for being. You can make a difference! By working on yourself and taking the steps to fulfill your purpose. .. others take notice. . and you become a guide to them until they discover their purpose and are radiating happiness and love to others. . we trully are a continuous wave............................ A fear that I will overcome between now and this time next week: I chose an easy one. . . I am going to sleep in the dark one some point this week. I tried this last night… I made it two minutes before my heart started beating really fast and I started getting super paranoid. I have no idea why… but I turned the TV on . Muted it and went to sleep. I’ll try again tonight......................................... “What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" What I am working on that will help me let go of several fears on that list, is a way to take the principles learned in these assignments to mold, shape and lead my team at work. Creating a clear picture of where my team should be, where I envision them being (assignment 1b vision), getting the buy-in from the team to commit to change. . . . create a clear picture of what changes need to be made, discuss purpose, . . eventually low level habits and environment, etc. . as it relates to a work team. Seeing how this can help at work as well as with myself has given me new purpose in life and work. .. and given me something exciting to add to my next challenge! Working on this will help me feel like less of a fraud and more of a true leader and role model able to make an impact in the lives of her employees as well a productive impact for the business. (When I say fraud. . that is how I used to think of myself because I couldn’t manage myself yet I was trying to manage other people.. paranoid . hoping no-one else would be able to tell how clueless I felt at times) Every time I set a weigh loss goal for myself and did not meet it. . I felt like a bad example to my employees

Assignment #15 What is a fear that I have overcome with this challenge? The fear that I have overcome is the fear of setting goals. I hated setting goals because I knew that I wouldn't follow through and that I would fail. That failure would lead me to self-loathing and disappointment. I have set many goals for this transformation, and accomplished them! Before this transformation I was only looking at goals as a means to disappointment, because I didn't BELIEVE in myself. I now know that goals are not the precursor to disappointment. They are the road to satisfaction, happiness, and service! I've been amazed at the way The Lord opens door, clears paths, and creates opportunity when you BELIEVE that you can accomplish something great! One thing I know for 100% certain is that I will ALWAYS be able to make a legitimate excuse of why I can't do something that I've been inspired to do---what a tragedy, because The Lord will always make a way that I CAN accomplish my hearts desire. The Lord loves me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to help fulfill His mission on this earth--to succor the weak, free the captive, feed the hungry, and lift the downtrodden. I must first do my part by being the best person I can be today and continue to learn more and reach higher, and goals are a great way to start! A Fear that I still hold that could Thwart my Progress: I have a fear that I won't be the kind of mother that I need to be for my children. I'm too impatient and selfish. Replace the Fear with a New Truth- I am exactly the mother my children were meant to have. I have many lessons to learn from them, and they have many to learn from me. We are a team, sojourning on this Earth together. I have the light of Christ available at all times to lead and direct me towards raising a hero generation. What I do today will affect many generations of time and be a blessing or detriment to my posterity! A job too important not to tackle with the utmost diligence and care.

Write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. I have overcome several fears so far in this process, the first one sharing my faults and challenges with people and have had nothing but love shown to me. In the past I have had nothing but insults and shame added to what I was already feeling. I was told to suck it up and that I always had a tear on the side of my azz. So for the longest time I didn't allow myself to cry. Now I cry all the time, I guess I'm catching up for lost time and grieving some loss and pain. The other fear I have overcome is running on the treadmill. I fell one time walking on the treadmill at a gym just for women and everyone laughed at me and wouldn't turn it off and I couldn't get off the thing and no one would help me and my face kept hitting the belt. So for me to run on the treadmill and trust that everything would be ok and there is also a safety feature on this one that if you do fall the cord pulls the safety switch and the machine turns off, you don't have to wait for someone to come to your rescue. Please identify and write down another fear you will confront between now and this time next week. My other fear is that I will sabotage myself and not finish strong. That is why I joined The Biggest Loser on The Bayou at my gym. I am the team captain and I am accountable to 4 other people. This will help keep me motivated. I am motivating my teammates with the tools and knowledge I have gained from this website. I have already sent them an email encouraging them to take before pics. We are meeting tomorrow to work out as a team and I will be taking a team before pic. The challenge last 8 weeks which will overlap this one and Challenge 2 and I know it will help keep me on track for finishing this one and getting a good jump start on Challenge 2.

I have overcome the fear of teaching a yoga class. I taught my first class last week and it was wonderful. I was so worried about....am I doing this or that right. I just needed to focus and plow through it and keep doing the poses and flow through each pose. I also had a fear of not completing the packet....it was uncanny, but it was there for some reason. I have worked through a few of the questions one at a time and really looked at my words and what I was saying.

Bill..... I had a fear of fighting.....Being raised in a physically abusive environment....I spent alot of my life hiding.....I used to fear being around other men...especially if they were larger than I.......I spent an amazing amount of time "Going the long way around". In my thirties I enrolled in the Isshin-ryu school of Karate' located in Knoxville, Tn.....I found out soon that the particular school was ran by none other than Master Harold Long....At that time he was the worlds formost living authority for the Isshin-ryu system....It was a rough place....I stayed hurt and bruised up....There were many days that I did not want to enter through the door of the Dojo, but I did anyway.....There wer two weight classes...Heavy and light....the cut off was 170lbs.....I weighed 172....I was the smallest of my weight class and always fought larger people....I aquired a blackbelt from Master Long shortly before his death from spleen Cancer.....I pretty much go wherever I want now...even if the size of someone is intimidating.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>My current fear is that I will get lazy and not continue with Transforming at some unknown point....I am almost finished with my first Transformation challange....When I recently started having these thoughts.....I started taking steps to avoid carrying out this fear.....I have reviewed my assignments....shared my thoughts with a few T-Com. Friends ...and I signed a contract for the next year with a trainer....I still have this fear, but I am taking steps to work through it~~~DAN

I think I got a little ahead on this assignment. Last week I acknowledged that I had still been avoiding people. I got wrapped up in the the belief that people really didn't want to hear from me. I "knew" I would be rejected if I reached out in my 3-d world. This is not a new issue for me. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. Hiding behind my mom as a kid. As I got older, unable to even make a phone call to order food. As a young adult, if I needed to make a phone call to a business, I would have to write down everything I needed to say and if the script varied at all I would have to hang up and call back when I could answer the question. I got alot better later on when I became a nurse. You sort of have to talk to people to care for them, and as long I was in that capasity I was fine. Where my problem lies is just in everyday life. I became aware that I avoided eye contact and if I seen someone I knew, I would instictively turn in the other direction. Here at T.com I spend a lot of time encouraging others and saying what I think about things. I can be friendly, encouraging and outgoing here. It's the world outside my door that I had trouble with. Last week I had a concall with Clarissa. Going into the call I had no idea what I would be asking or what my share would be. As the call went on, it became clear to me that this is something I had to address. So I did. I asked Clarissa and the others on the call what I could do to be the person that I am here on T.com the person that I am in the real world. Clarissa gave me an assignment to reach out to two people in person. I could do that anyway I wanted. I gave the account in a blog about a week ago... While I was running yesterday I saw from far a way, and couldn't figure out what it was. At first, i thought it was a motorcycle cop running radar, there had been one out the day before. As I got closer i saw it was a mommy pushing a double stroller with an infant and a toddler. i thought to myself, Wow she's awesome! i wanted to express that quickly and I didn't want the opportunity to pass me up so when we intersected, I made eye contact, smiled and said " You are a woman!" She smiled and laughed as we passed each other. My comment made her happy and feel good about herself. It also made me happy and feel good about making her feel good, so it was a "win-win"! I also shook hands or hugged just about everybody at the tent revival. Tonight I will make sure I start with people I do not know and make that eye contact more. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Again, I am getting spiritually lighter. Since then, I have made a conscience effort to make eye contact and smile with everyone I come in contact with. I have found that it is not nearly as hard as I made it out to be in my mind. I'm so, so glad I became more aware and decided to do something about it. Taking action is so much easier and less internally stressful than avoiding. What can I do to make my transformation even better. I can start to really engage the people I come in contact with. I can show that I really do care and I do want to know how they are. I have started this already and I plan to continue. My new motto? "No More Hiding!"

A fear I have overcome in this process is a fear of actually losing weight. For months- no years, every time I would start losing weight I would sabotage my efforts. I kept wondering why am I doing this. I know I need to get healthy. Well, it had become a joke around the house on how much I weigh- we’d say the number my mom thought I was. My mother was on her death bed and her biggest concern was that she weigh less than me. After the 5k I completed in April, I confronted the anger, hurt, guilt, and fear I was experiencing. I forgave my Mom and let it go! It was like breaking down the bricks of a solid wall. I started losing weight and I’m not afraid of it anymore. "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" Because of my past experiences I have been afraid of men. I try to not to get noticed, I’m overweight, I dress plain and stay away from men in general. Today, while I was driving a man pulled up beside me- waving and smiling. To make a long story short- It really freaked me out. When I got home I locked all the doors and closed the windows- it was 70 degrees out, what was I thinking? Fear. Today is the day! I am letting go of this fear. I thought about my training in restraints and self defense, my strength, knowledge and determination. I am not going to let anyone stop me any longer; it is time I move forward. I reopened the house and went outside to conquer my fears and I am ok.

Fear of failure…. Many times previously I have started programs aimed at loosing weight, or improving some aspect of me… they never lasted long past their course end 9if that long). I id complete a BFL challenge right though and had great results, but personal issues soon after put me right back. So there was a part of me that wondered if I could do this transformation challenge… As I got in to the challenge I realized that I have crossed a threshold, there is no going back not now NOT EVER. I found the strength and determination in me that I could also apply to everything else that I do, and was able to apply that to my own NEEDS… you know for the first time I can actually admit that I have needs and not feel guilty about looking after me! Moving forward I have no doubt that I will be successful, I actually intend to continue with the transformation until I loose all of my weight (I will have lost 100lbs of fat over the last year– I have about 50 to go to reach my goal –I am planning to do that by September 2009)… It is okay to be strong for me, just like the oxygen masks in the airplanes – you need to fit your own first  (If you are not strong and healthy, how will you help anyone else? You may actually become part of the problem) – I believe that now, I think that perhaps my ‘needs’ held other back…

The biggest fear I had comming into this challenge was the fear of it being ok to be ME.. I was/am Shanes wife and so I felt like I had to portray Shane the Champions wife. I didnt know how to be ME. I wasnt sure if I was Ok just to be me.. You see, I have always taken care of everyone else and kinda left ME behind..Then as I started digging deep into the assignments and working on myself, overcomming things in my life that were totally about bettering myself, I realized that I was learning and growing and that my husband was becomming prouder of me all the time because I was changing and the Georgeann he knew that was in there was starting to shine. So, this has been a process and such a huge step of learning and being aware of my personal goals and feelings, something I feared more than I knew. I now believe in myself and look forward to the success that I will create in my life with my new found confidence, that I am continually working on.

I had two really big fears when I started here. First, I did not have a clue how I was ever going to be ble to give this my best when I refused to enter a gym. I spent the first months and a half or so working out at home with a little exercise bike or a friends aparmtent complex late at night when it was just the two of us in this little tiny gym with next to no equipment. When joining here my self esteem was so low I thought I would never "fit in" in a gym. I thought the gym was for people already in shapes ans women with barbie shape (no insult to anyone intended I would die for that) figures. After building my confidence a bit and working hard I finally foun the courage to enter a gym. Now I don't know how I could live without it. The other thing when I first joined for the first few months I think I maybe posted once on the forums. I stayed in my comfort zone of my little nest and never ventured out. I have finally learned that things I say are worthy and I CAN help others too. I make an effort to go in the cenral area daily and find someone that I can help or inspire. What fear am I going tp try and overcome? Lots of people here like videos ( I do too) I just would never consider talking in front of a mic or camera. I am going towork on overcoming being in front of a camera when I do my litle clip with Chris H. Public speaking is something I need to work on. Also, this is the first year my school has a graduating snior so I have ben working on a speech and intend to deliver it in front of everyone graduation night. I think my nec will be full of red splotches but the only way to overcome it is to just do it!!!

Feel the fear and do it anyway… One of my fears has always been public speaking…I can remember the feelings of hear racing, lump in throat, nausea!! Over the last 2 years I have worked through this fear. ..this was started when I was a Library Aide in an Elementary School and I spoke to every class in the school about what kind of behavior we would like to see in while in the Library… It took a week to talk to every class but I did it I worked through that fear…Now I saw a lot of those children on a daily basis…so they were not total strangers… however later that summer I got up and spoke for a few minutes in front of a group of strangers…as I walked up to the microphone I felt the heat rush to my face…my legs felt week…I was stumbling over words a little but I did it…My Husband Shon had mentioned to someone later how proud he was of me that I just got up and shared an assignment that we had completed the evening before… He was happy that I was coming out of my shell!!! So when we went to the first Houston Meet and Greet in March…Oh My same feelings again when it came around to my time…I got yucky tummy feelings and lump in my throat…but I also did this because I had too…However I did not really put myself out there…I guess…I felt then at that time…I was fake…living a lie even then…but now with the growth that I have experienced and the inspiration of others has forced me to look at who I was then…that is not who I am…So this last weekend at out 2nd meet and greet here in Houston…When it came my time…got lump in throat…tummy danced…but when it came to me speaking…I talked from my heart and soul…teared up a little when I said after 9 years…I can see more clearly than ever the wonderful man my husband really is…and another thing I made eye contact…with every person I talked to…What an amazing experience!! My newest fear now I have to work through is….actually making phone calls and talking to strangers to see if they would be a good fit for the team I would like to put together for the starting of my Real Estate Investing Company…This scares the Begeebers out of me!!! But…I know…I am strong enough to do it…sure yucky tummy…heart racing…But I have faith I can do it if I try

What fear have I overcome? Well, first and foremost I had to overcome the fear of injuring myself. Some years ago I suffered a sever inguinal strain that never quite healed properly. As a result, performing heavy lifting exercises with my legs was painful and made me fear that I would re-injure myself. I still can't perform super-heavy reps with lunges, squats, or presses, so my leg development suffers as a result. What fear must I overcome? The fear of SUCCEEDING. As ridiculous as that might sound, I perceive in myself a fear of success. This is the only explanation I can attach to why I fail to complete projects that I start -as if by finishing a project like Transformation more will be expected of me. That might be true, but success is part of the preparation for the expectation. Oh, this is so complex! Time to expand on it in a blog! Be well!

There are many fears that I have overcome in the past few months. But I think the biggest thing has been asking for help and letting people in, letting them see the real me. I’ve thought for so long that I could do this on my own, but I now know that I can’t do it this by myself and it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to let people see who I really am. I’m think one of my biggest fears is being a leader and helping other’s through this process. I’m afraid that I’ll tell them something wrong, or I’ll offend them, or that they just won’t want to hear what I have to say. Honestly I’m afraid to be a champion, I’m afraid of the responsibility that comes with being great. I’m just plain scared that I don’t have enough knowledge and I feel like I’m not strong enough to be of service to anyone. I’m not sure yet how I’m going to fix this problem, how I’m going to change it? But within the next week I will figure out what I need to do to confront it!

A Fear that I have overcome is the Fear of quitting. I have never been a quitter, make myself work, strive and never give up. When I became ill, it was very hard to keep going and I had to actually quit for surgery and a long recovery. I have been pushing ever since to get back into the swing of things and have struggled immensely. I was able to give up the fight and not push so much and even tried to Quit. It did not work, I could not even quit when I tried. I no longer have the fear of quitting. Even if it takes a long time to accomplish my goals, I will get there. I will continue on. ….. The fear that I need to confront is facing forgiveness. I need to forgive and ask for forgiveness

One fear I had and confronted was running on the treadmill. I was afraid I was going to fall. One fear I still have falling off track and not completing the 18 weeks strong. I will confront this fear and plan, plan. I have taken measures to overcome this fear by joining The Biggest Loser on the Bayou at my gym and I am the team captain. The challenge there is for 8 weeks so it will help me to stay on track by being accountable to 4 other people. Mona

1) First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process.....Initially I had a fear that I would fall back into old habits. Extending my "free day" to a "free weekend". ............ 2) Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week...I am going to start round 2 immediately with no break in between. This is where I get into trouble. In the past I would "take a week off" and would have a free for all. It's amazing to me how one week of doing this will sabbotage all of the momemtum that you had previously gained.

I recently heard that we are only born with 2 fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises, the rest of our fears are learned or taught to us.With that thought in mind, it is my desire that I can let go of any fear that holds me back from growing, learning and giving of myself to change.I will grow from the fearful person that I have been to the fearless person I should be. I will not be fearful to pray to grow, pray to learn and pray to give of myself. I will not be fearful to let go of things that hold me back. I will not be fearful of change. Troy

1) First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process.....My fear of failure. I now see it as a lifetime of progress, not perfection............ 2) Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week.....My fear of not being in control of everything and having my well-planned week not go well.

The biggest fear I have overcome in this process is connected with Assignment #1. Actually, I posted my pic and a few weeks later removed it. But, I knew I had to face it...and I am STILL facing it....(it will be my "before" pic for Round 2 as well). So....I guess at this point...as I write this...I realize along with that is the fear that in the past, I would think that people would look at that picture and say "Did she make ANY changes at all during the last 16 weeks?!" But, I have overcome the fear of judgment from anyone on this site...because it simply doesn't happen. Support? Tons! Judgement? None. "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" I had to think long and hard about that one, but I think it's my need for perfection and the fear that I won't achieve it. Now...even as I write that, it sounds crazy to me. I've NEVER considered myself that type of person..one who has to have a perfectly clean house or perfectly behaved children or anything perfectly done. Actually, I've always thought of myself as just the opposite. But...in the past year or so..in the area of my return to school and work, it has been pointed out to me several times which caused me to seriously ponder this revelation. And maybe that's why I'm sabotaging myself? I started so gung-ho...did quite well initially in this challenge and then maybe one week wasn't so good and the "perfectionist" in me started beating myself up?! Hmmmmmmm......so I guess I really need to focus on that this week. I need to finish this challenge accepting that it wasn't done perfectly...and that's ok. And know my Round 2 won't be "perfect" either...but it will be progress. Gosh...there it is again...right in front of me....progress, not perfection. :o)

..... First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process...... One: One fear that I have overcome since starting this transformation is posting my before photos, this was very scary for me, I stalled a bit, thought maybe I will wait until there are better after pictures first then post them together....... I was gently encouraged to face the fear, something I never thought I would actually do, since it would bruise my ego greatly.....but I went ahead and did it anyway....knowing that facing it and the truth would set me free and allow me to grow and work hard at my transformation....... And that has happened.......... Two: Another fear I have faced since starting this transformation is committing to being a member of the Board at my Center for Spirituality, this was a major step for me in striking out and giving back to my place of worship, something I have avoided for fear of too much expectation from me....I realize that I can be on the Board and offer my gifts to my best ability and learn to say no if I really do not want to do something....which does come up below!........... Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week........... I do have a fear that I could face between now and next week and it is something that I seem to struggle with in my life......... Expressing myself, setting boundaries and saying NO with someone who is in a place of authority in my life........... Granted, this person is a wonderful, loving person and definitely has good intentions and truly believes that they are helping me move forward and they could very well be right........... I just do not feel comfortable with doing what they want me to do and am not ready to be pushed into it at this point in my life............. The request was - not asked - of me but I was *told* I would be doing it....I am aware that they feel they are helping me face another fear that I have in my life - which I may or may not be able to face (public speaking).......... I just know I am not willing to do it at this point in time and need to face my fear of disapproval and speak up on my behalf........... So, I need to stand up for myself and say NO I am not ready to do this at this point in time........ This assignment will be an ongoing work of art, I will have a weekly (or monthly) blog outlining a fear that I plan on facing in order to keep transforming (who knows maybe public speaking will end up in one of those blogs at some point).....

I have faced so many fears during this process. The reason I feared things was because I had lost my confidence. But I have gotten it back! Some things I still struggle with are :I am still afraid to be my true self for fear of rejection, afraid of "letting go completely. I struggle with food issues too! So these are all things I will continue to confront!

Assignment #15 1.) Write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. When I began my transformation I feared not being able to finish it. I actually thought about joining for over 3 months before finally deciding to jump in. I was so afraid of committing to something I wasn’t sure I could even finish, then end up feeling worse than I did before I started. I also feared the accountability part and the fear of connecting with complete strangers. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what I had become and was afraid of how others would perceive me in my before photo. I also had no confidence in my ability to communicate or offer support to others in need. I also feared exposing my past and opening up to others for help and guidance. Early in my transformation I remember keeping to myself because I felt no one would want to hear about my problems. I remember thinking “how could I possibly matter in this sea of thousands”. What if I’m not named a transformation champion and resort back to my old ways and habits. Can I handle another rejection in my life, will it mean I am a failure and can’t accomplish anything. Will I end up being a disappointment to my family and friends. I harbored all these fears as I began my transformation journey and felt it would probably end up just being a waste of time, energy, money, and hopeful expectations. As I enter my 17th week of transformation my challenge experience has actually turned out to be the complete opposite of what I envisioned. As I began to work my assignments and release some of the pain I felt inside I began to see that my fears no longer consume my daily thoughts. I grew to trust the transformation community; it’s leaders, coaches, and team members and I have gained much insight about myself by reaching out to help others in need. I have become more aware of the power of self-love and how it’s impossible to love others if you don’t love yourself first. I am also learning to forgive myself as well as others. I accept that my self worth is defined by what Greg thinks and feels and not by external praise. I have let go of the past and what I can’t change and focusing more on the here and now. I have made many new friends here at T.com and now feel comfortable communicating with them by e-mail, through their personal blogs and by phone. Throughout my journey I’ve learned to rely on my Heavenly Creator for support and strength. This has given me the strength to continue on when I was ready on many occasions to throw in the towel. When I felt alone and afraid my faith in my Heavenly Father was there to give me hope and inspiration to carry on. My transformation has given me renewed hope for the future and a internal peace words cannot describe. I feel alive again and ready to face each day without fear or doubt. I am finally making peace with who I am, and where I am at this point in my life. I realize that God loves me no matter what I do or say and that I survived cancer because (He) has something else in store for me. I have begun to do as Bill advises us to do. Feel the fear and do it anyway! 2.) Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. One fear I need to confront is the fear of how I will pay for my son Bradley’s last two years of college. I have been struggling with this for quite some time and know that something needs to be resolved soon before his fall semester begins. I have prayed constantly to my Heavenly Father for strength and guidance. Most of the money we had saved was used over the years to support my wildlife business and family and his first two years of college. I made many financial mistakes while running my business, but have accepted I did the best I could with the knowledge I had. I am a very talented and gifted artist, but found out the hard way I am a terrible businessman. The recent economic downfall has not helped matters either. Although I have not completely given up on my wildlife business I’ve been forced to temporarily shut the doors and look for other means to support my family. This has been a hard pill to swallow and has caused me to lose confidence in myself. Since I am also a commercial artist I have been fortunate to be able to fall back on that and I’ve recently taken on free-lance art projects and other odd jobs to make ends meet. This often means long hours for low pay, which has put a strain on our monthly budget. It seems we get further behind as each month passes and I fear the worst is yet to come. Had it not been for my transformation I am not sure where we would be at this point. I have to admit that in the beginning I was attracted to Transformation.com because of the prize money awarded to selected champions. I viewed the $10,000 as a means to finish paying for Bradley’s education, and at the same time, improve my health and get off costly medications. I figured it was a long shot, sort of like buying a lottery ticket, but well worth any suffering I would have to endure. I figured the harder I worked the better my odds would be, so I jumped in with a lot of faith and both feet running. My wife recently admitted to me that paying for my quarterly gym membership has been one of the best investments we could have made. It has allowed me to stay strong both mentally and physically during these hard times and has given me hope that change is just around the corner. I am handling stress much better and using my newfound energy to focus on creative ways to earn money, even if it is in small amounts. I am learning to use gratitude as a way to appreciate what we do have and to cherish each moment we have together as a family. Greg

One fear that I have overcome during my transformation is the fear of what other people think. In the beginning I was very intimidated by not knowing what to do or where to start. I worried about looking like a fool at my gym. Now I don't care and I doubt anyone is looking at me anyway. A fear that I will work on during the next couple of weeks is my fear of failure. It is my life pattern to start something, see it almost to the end, and then either sabotage it or quit because the results won't be perfect (failure in my eyes). I am coming to the end of my challenge. I haven't accomplished everything I had intended and I have had to fight the urge to quit (since the challenge didn't go "perfectly" for me). So until my packet is in the mail, I will be fighting the fear of failure.

A fear I've already overcome during my Transformation process - Turning 40. I know...it was inevitable, even if I didn't face the fear, it still came regardless of whether I wanted it to or not. My fear was not just turning 40, but being a parent again to a newborn at 40. I have a teenager...am I ready to do it all over again? The baby came into this world...turned my world upside down, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. 40 came too, and I realize that being an "older" parent....wait...strike that....an "experienced" parent...I shouldn't have any fear for the reason that I have been through it before. I read once, or heard it from somewhere that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. So in my mind and in my experience, fear is false, the evidence surrounding the fear isn't even real. It's the enemy bringing the perceptions into our mind making them appear real. If we have faith...fear cannot exist. The fear that I will be facing in the next week that I can let go of and overcome is actually finishing my Transformation Challenge packet and turning it in. I know I'll overcome it because NOT turning it in is NOT an option. - Chad

What I mostly dreaded... was the fear of not being able to succeed at accomplishing my transformation. The greatest worries I had were: not enough time in the day to workout; injuries, sickness or poor health; controlling what I eat; giving up, for whatever matter, and not completing the 18 weeks. All these "so called" worries I have overcome! The biggest fear I have to deal with this week is a combination of stress from my profession and having reaching a plateau in weight loss. Both these will definitely effect how I eat and workout during this week. Seeing the results I've had from the first 14 weeks will allow me to overcome the fear I am facing this week! Mark

My biggest fear that I have overcome is that I will not have my shell to go back to, my covers to hide under. Before I started this transformation I had reached a point where I just accepted how things were for me. I stopped looking in the mirror I stopped talking to friends I stopped doing things I love and enjoy. I stopped finding humor in anything and just stopped smiling and laughing at anything. I was just existing and hiding in my little shell. I felt like I had been sucked dry by life in general. I have gone far enough from my shell that I forgot where it was. I still have my covers...for emergency backup ;) Now that I am talking about my fear well......I am a bit worried about my shell what if I need it again? what if I actually do inspire someone and then let them down or I stumble or mess up along the way. What if I go running back to my shell and it is gone! What if my progress is not good enough compared to others? I will confront these fears and face them! I feel the FEAR right now as I type this. Love to all Liz

The biggest fear that I had through this process was that I wouldn't finish. A lot was tied to that. I was afraid to post my week #1 picture, I was afraid to bare my soul to the community, I was afraid to put myself out there, and then fail like I always had in the past. With the help of the community, God, and my will, I was able to overcome all of those fears. I now know that I will finish. A fear that I will confront in the next seven days is the fear that I won't finish as strongly as I would like to. Now that we're nearing the end of round 1, I feel some of the old doubts creeping up. Unlike when I first started though, I don't pay much attention to them. I'm not a deeply religious person. I have come to believe in God (I mean come ON, I didn't find this place at EXACTLY the time that I needed it by accident!). My team leader told me that those negative thoughts are the type of evil that "The Devil" creates. While I don't believe in a red guy with a pitchfork, in my life I have seen true evil and I know that it's out there. I could never understand WHY I was never able to change. How I could know so much about nutrition and never have the strength to do it. Now I believe that not taking care of my mind, body, and spirit let that negative energy or "evil" in. Now I can easily recognize that those thoughts don't come from me. There is NO PART of my heart, mind, body, or spirit that doesn't want to succeed at this. While the fear is real, I have no intention of giving in to it. It doesn't serve me and isn't aligned with my goals.

First off, I have waited on these last two assignments to post them so I made sure I will complete this challenge. I wrote my feelings down for this answer but wanted to post them now so I would ensure I would still be here posting at week 16. That is what I said that to myself, but had no doubt in my mind that I would not finish the challenge. I have so much vested in this program, that I realize it is not about the challenge, it is about a "Change" and New way of life, not stopping, keep going, and doing it every day going forward and meeting the best people that I could have met (I call them family now) It is just awesome!!! A fear I have overcome in this challenge: I never liked posting messages talking about myself, until I spoke to DUDE (an awesome Dude for sure). He told me that I could do one of two things--1- do the challenge, be quite about it, turn in an awesome packet and see what happens. And 2- Do the challenge, talk on the community, make some great friends, encourage and help people out, while you help yourself out. Make an impact on the site, blog about your experiences daily (someone can take something away from them) and then turn in an aweosme packet and see what happens. He then said "What do you think I did"?? The answer was clear from that day on. I have overcame my fear and I communicate daily and it has helped me out, as well as others on the site, and in my group. (I feel so proud that it helps others--I really do!!!). The fear of going to Denver and making that big of a commitment was really doing a number on me. I thought about what I am physically able to do, and not do, but after re-watching that video of last year over and over I then said "I need to be there" then hearing Bill/Coach,Clarissa say get there, I need to get there. I wanted to personally meet them, and the champs for some time now, and that would be the best opportunity--so I will get myself ready to run the 1/2 marathon (a huge decision for me, but it has to be!!!). During this assignment at first I spoke to Marty about "Spritual cardio" on the phone, and heard of it before, but until I spoke to Marty I never really understood it 100%. I then really paid attention to his message when we spoke about this and he had me do some techniques that I will remember forever. And I thank god for Marty every day--he has taught me so much about the "Spritual Cardio" and letting the lord shine his light on me and watch over me when I work out. I have overcome my fears of hurting my knee now when I work out, and focuss my enegy elsewhere and any pain elsewhere as well. It realy works for me now. Thank you for this experience. Thank you, Brian

A fear that I have overcome. I have always been the type of person that I would keep all of my thought and feeling bundled up inside of me, Afraid to trust anyone. I have only been able to truly trust my husband and kids. Afraid of what people might think of me and use againest me. I have had a wall up around me sence I was 11 years old when I was hurt very serverly by everone I trusted, I would not share anything with anyone afraid that it would be used to turn on me again. So for me to open myself up to everyone here on the blogs was really heard. -------- A fear that I will confront. We are trying to start a new business and I am working on a presitation that I can make to get my first clients. I will get it together and go on my first job seeking.

First a fear I have overcome is that I won"t finish the challenge, another uncompleted project! I have 3 weeks left and I know I will finish and finish strong. I have been able to stay focused even when distractions have come up or when scheduling conflicts have accrued. My self esteem and confidence are much higher then when I started! Second a fear I will confront in the next week is the fear of being overwhelmed at work. With a lot of work to complete, customers to deal with, and keeping everything moving smoothly, I sometimes can have some anxieties arise. I know if I take time to pray and let God help me I always get through it. Terry

~~~~The fear I have overcome is fear of success. Success at losing the weight and getting the body I want. I WILL do it this time, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many times I stumble. I will not be down for the count. ~~~My greatest fear is just as Joe quoted on the Kona radio show. My greatest fear is not that I'm inadequate but that I'm powerful beyond measure. Powerful towers over successful. Power. Powerful. Me? Powerful. Scares the daylights out of me. I can sometimes feel just the edges of this, when power reaches out and touches me. I can feel the potential of what's in there. It's amazing and frightening at the same time. I need to let it go and quit tamping it down and let the wonder of it all just happen.

Feel the fear and do it anyway... A fear I had before starting my Transformation was to fall into a CLINICAL depression. I was on the edge, ready to fall into the downward spiral. The exercise and routine helped me avert this!!!!! A fear that I conquered this week dealt with a touchy family meeting tonight with lots of confrontation and directives. This stressed me out beyond belief but I accomplished it and survived. Lynn

Fears I've overcome" 1:the before pixs (ofcourse) 2: Showing who I really am--to strangers 3:going to the gym 4:That I'm a 'nobody' and who cares what I think 5:afraid to give up food Fear I will overcome in the next week 1: that I'm not worthy 2: is this all I have left to ?? lose?? learn?? be?? Thank you for is Take Care and God Bless Kathi

Fears that I’ve already overcome:>>>>>>>>>> 1) Posting my before photo. This has been the subject of many of my blogs. Posting that BEFORE photo was unquestionably the most difficult thing I had to do during the Transformation. Making it through one of my grueling high intensity/high volume/ minimal rest weight routines doesn’t hold a candle to pushing that submit button on the first day of my Transformation Challenge!>>>>>>>>>> 2) Committing to posting weekly photo updates. I’m one of these people that take commitments very seriously. I rarely say that I will “try” to do something. I will either say that I will do it and get it done, or I simply will not commit. I’m proud that I held true to this commitment, and I believe it was instrumental in pushing me constantly forward in the Transformation.>>>>>>>>>> 3) That someone I know will recognize me if I post my photos or talk about myself in the blogs & forums. I’m still waiting for that to happen, but if does, I will feel real proud of my accomplishments and tell them that they can do the same if they really want to.>>>>>>>>>>>> 4) Fear of failing at the transformation after I’ve posted my photos and committed to getting it done. Above all else, this fear gave me strength and kept me moving forward.>>>>>>>>>>>>> A Fear that WILL overcome this week:>>>>>> That I will fall off the wagon during the last week. I have an especially difficult challenge ahead of me. During the last four days of the Transformation Challenge, I will be at a work-related (Medical Writer’s) conference in Monterey, CA. Making it even more difficult is that I know that this particular conference facility does not have an exercise facility, and the meals are included (and not designed for our way of eating). Many of the events go late into the night and generally are served with lots of unhealthy snacks and alcohol. In past conferences, I’ve under slept, overeaten, not exercised, and consumed way too much alcohol.>>>>>>>>>>>>> MY COMMITMENT: See the above discussion for how seriously I take my commitments!>>>>> I WILL get to bed by 10 PM each night.>>>>> I WILL purchase AND USE a temporary >>>>> membership at a local Gym (I’ve already scoped one out).>>>>> I WILL substitute shakes, food bars and fresh fruit for the food that they serve. The one redeeming factor here is they always serve up a nice salad bar.>>>>> I WILL NOT consume any more than one alcoholic beverage per day (preferably none).>>>>> All the best in your Transformation and in overcoming your fears, WorkoutGuy

One of my favorite sayings is "face your fears, live your dreams". My thinking has long been that of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I always picture it as diving into a pool that is a bit cold at first...once you're in, it's not so bad and it may make you feel good. The fear that I've already overcome in this challenge is that I wouldn't really be accepted. That I've never been part of the "in" crowd and won't be here. I've been a part of Penny's Accountability Group and have been loved and accepted not only by each person of the group but many others in the T.com community. (um, yes, I have also reached out to others in loving acceptance to them) The fear I need to overcome is that of feeling that I have failed or am less of a person because I can't keep those I love from making mistakes or wrong choices. (yes, I know, this is how we learn) And that because I haven't had a perfect Transformation that I can't pick myself up and move forward....continue on Beverly :D

The initial fear I had was becoming a part of the T.com community. I was worried that I wasn't social enough to communicate thru blogs and forums and truly belong. Next - what am I afraid of that I need to overcome? I've been walking in out home on a treadmill for the past couple of months. Since I've committed to the 1/2 marathon, I need to start walking/training in public - starting next week when we get home from vacation.

First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. I was afraid of going to the convention in Denver. Not because of the race, but because I was afraid of meeting Bill, Coach, Champions, and other transformers and not living up to their expectations. Am I able to look deep enough and grow like some other Challengers I have been blessed to learn from. Their insight is so on. I overcame the fear and signed up for the race, committing myself to go. Then I confronted my hubby and let him know how important it was, and it's ok if he doesn't want to go. But he said yes after a few days and the tickets are as good as booked. Already working with the travel agency. I'm going, and I *am* good enough, and as long as I am making progress and moving forward, I am not in fear of being judged. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Easy one - I am scared to post my progress pics. I feel I have not had as dramatic results as I should be. I will post them.

. First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process.<<<<<<<< For me, I was always afraid of what others thought about me. I was fearful that for one reason or another I just did not fit in. I was always afraid that I was going to “look silly” or “mess up” or just be very uncomfortable. This I realize was all part of the depression that I had fallen into. It was more comfortable for me to go out to Wendy’s or Taco Bell at midnight and go home and watch a movie than to hang out with my friends and fear the risk of feeling like I was “not apart of”. This was getting worse and worse for me the more weight I gained. I ended up gaining over 100 lbs. within just a few short years with my ending weight at 300lbs. This is the part of my life that I like to call “RED ALERT”. I really did think I was going to have a heart attack. That was another big fear of mine just starting out. I thought that I would not be able to do all of the exercise because of all of the damage that my body incurred during the years that I was a cocaine addict. I thought certainly my heart would fail me or that I would have a nervous break down. I have gradually overcome these fears now and life is becoming so much easier without them. Some of you may recall seeing this video that I made that was part of a challenge Sabine started to “Share the Joy” of your new found life. Trust me on this, me posting it was a HUGE obstacle for me and a monumental step towards overcoming the fear of “what people think of me” LOL. The more I show it now, the less concerned I am about people’s reaction and the LESS afraid I am. Bill quoted Ralph Emerson gladly, “ DO THE THING YOU FEAR AND THE DEATH OF FEAR IS CERTAIN” Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" Your answer to that question will clearly show you the fear you need to confront within the next 7 days.<<<<<<<<<<<<< I have identified a fear that I may hit a point where I can not progress anymore. (Fear of a prolonged plateau). This may be partly in reason to me always being concerned with looking at the scale. Starting right now, I will take direct action against this fear. In fact, I will feel the fear and CONTINUE anyways!!!!! I am dedicating this next week to progressing no matter what and I will let the results fall where they may. I will face the fear head on and run at it like a charging lion. Nothing is going to stop me from me reaching my goals. This fear WILL DIE and NEVER COME BACK. This is my commitment to myself and to you people.

Clothing fears include: bathing suits, button-down blouses, belts and boots (over calves). As a fallen BFL angel, my biggest fear was not being able to maintain the Transformation lifestyle. Somewhere during the first few weeks of this challenge, my “ah haa” moment led me to clearly envision this lifestyle after completing my first 18 weeks of my new life. I struggle with the little voice that tells me, “I’m not good enough”. People aren’t interested in what I have to say, so I listen more than speak. To counteract that negative energy, I’ve taken an active role in Toastmasters to give me the venue for improving my confidence through oral and written communications. Just yesterday, I stepped up at a School Board Meeting and spoke about the future of the neighborhood elementary school they are closing in June. I delivered a 3 minute speech to the Trustees to encourage them to do the right thing and sponsor our petition to establish a Charter school - it was a positive message, yet didn’t pull any punches. Additionally, I submitted two short stories that might be used in a future book, “The Heart of a Military Woman”.

I did it! I faced a fear and feel great for it. I met with other T-friends at the Montana workshop and felt the energy, love and compassion that are shared here on the site but in real person. I was a little tired and nervous at first but I was welcomed with open arms and I will never forget the powerful experience. This visit is still on my mind 3-days later!!! This strenghtend my desire to be all that God intended me to be and press on transforming together. Brian

Assignment 15 In the comments section below I'm asking you to do two things. First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. One fear that I have already overcome it the fear of swimming in public, I have never been one to swim "freestyle" I have always kept my face out of the water, even my days of being in the Navy we didn't have to swim laps, just tread water for a certain period of time. Last yr I did some running and some biking and was invited several times by friends to do a triathlon, but the fear of swimming kept me from doing it. This yr in this Transformation I have signed up for a tri, and have been swimming in the pool at the Y , we have a coach that is helping Leah and myself swim proplerly and I truely feel as though I can swim in public now. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. One fear, as silly as it may sound to some, is the fear of bloging or talking with "Bill Phillips" yes, I have posted several times in my group forum and alot on my own blog, and alot on other peoples pages, but I have never posted anything on Bill's blog or his articles. I am not sure where the fear comes from, I guess it is partly the fear of being wrong, and if I posted there more people might see it? Well, I am going to post this on Bill's blog and on the main page this week. I will be facing my fears and that will help me face other possibly larger fears that I come to face. Thanks for all the support, and I love you guys! You too Bill, even though I have been avoiding you Jim Nelson

I’ve been going over this and I honestly can say I have only one fear. The fear (awe) of God. That is definitely not getting in the way of my transformation. Fear has never been an issue in my life. I can say that I am fearless to a fault and it put me in some bad situations. Being fearless is something that I need to control to continue transformation.

Bill, A fear I have already overcome in the process is to trust.I had never TRULY trusted ANYTHING in my life. I have found so much trust through this process and along with it comes so many other gifts in my life. Trust in God that today will be an amazing journey filled with new wisdom, hope and love. Trust in myself that I will remain steadfast in my commitments and self promises for the progress in my recovery of life. Trust in the process of healing that has been nurtured and refined by you and so many that commit their Knowledge and caring for the success of everyone that accepts the challenge to change the perception of life in it's current state. Trust that tomorrow the sun will rise on a bright new adventure to be lived and felt for all of it's energy and glory. I TRUST and the biggest side effect of trust is of course renewed HOPE.Part of my fear to trust was diminishing my ability to maintain HOPE. Without hope there is a very dark vision of the future. I have renewed hope now.----------------------------------------- Next A fear I will confront between now and next week is the fear of failure. I am so worried that I will make a commitment to a goal and not reach it after so many failed attempts. I made a challenge goal to lose 50 pounds or more in 18 weeks and it has been a struggle, A big, sometimes painful struggle. I have had good days and very, very bad days when my body wanted to go no further. there has been sweat and I'll admit even tears along the way and sometimes I think I will give up but I think about those days when I was 10 years old, riding my bike with my friends and running through the woods as fast as my feet would carry me. I pull God next to me and run with God. I dig deep and pray to keep going. I will face the fear of failure head on this week and push myself as far as the Lord will allow me to go.I will respect my body but put no limits on what I can achieve. I will use breath prayers to keep my thoughts on the Father and his work. I will see myself overcoming any obstacle and I will use the promises that God has given me as total truth for my life through the end of this challenge and into the next. My new Heart will have NO FEAR,JUST FAITH.Peace, ~Dave

First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. One fear that I have already overcome in the transformation process is the fear of exposure. Showing my true self to people and being open. The fear for me here was that I might not be accepted, I might be judged and that people might hurt or manipulate me based on what they learn. Transformation took this fear head on with Assignment 1 – I have always felt vulnerable about my weight and my body and it obviously takes a lot to take a picture and post it with all of your honest feelings about that image. But it didn’t stop there, to overcome the fear of being open, because I’ve always been one to observe and really see how others operate before I let them know “me”. I have truly embraced via this process that the reactions of others belong to them. Let them be burdened with how positive or negative that reaction is, but I should not be constantly stressing and beating myself up over it. I can say what I feel and be who I am. I am worthy of that. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" I need to let go of my fear of failure. I’ve started to make strides in this but I still limit what I will try because I “believe” I won’t be able to do it. I went through a big internal struggle with myself over the last week about my fear that I won’t accomplish one of my goals by the end of the challenge. Running 5 miles. I commit to giving up that fear. I may or may not ‘run 5 miles straight’ before my challenge ends 3 weeks from tomorrow, but I will allow myself to run as far as I can and I will not be afraid of trying to reach my goal. I have committed to the ½ marathon in October and I will begin training and make sensible decisions and have a focused plan that allows me to perform by best without injury. Fear of failure will not rule my decisions in this or any of my other goals!

"Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson I. The Fear That I Have Already Overcome: There have been more than one fear as I have progressed along this journey of my first Transformation Challenge. The first fear, and probably the greatest I have experienced so far, was the assignment to post my photos – that made my heart race, my palms sweat, and my breathing stop. It took me about three days before I could actually post the photos. Being so overweight and out of shape, I haven’t wanted to see any photos of me, but to have to take them to deliberately reveal all the fat was just brutal. Posting the photos was really hard, but then the fact that Bill wanted me to be honest about how I saw myself, and to actually post those feelings on the picture was very difficult. It took a lot of self-talk to work through it, but I knew I was serious about wanting to do this Transformation, so I did it. Within about 24 hours I had recovered and I experienced such great freedom from having put them out there that I was very grateful that I had completed the assignment. II. A Fear That I Will Confront Within The Next Week: I just made the decision to begin running a few days ago. That’s a HUGE decision for me since I’m 57 years old and have never been one to exercise much at all, rarely ever walked, and then to decide to become a runner! I researched how to begin running because I didn’t want to just blindly begin running and set myself up for sure failure. I came up with a couple of beginning running plans and have been following the plan. I have this little nagging voice inside my head when I’m running telling me I’m going to blow my knee out again or my ankle is going to give out again, or that it’s okay to take it easy today. I know these are all voices of defeat and I do not want to give in to them! Today during each lap I made it was like the cartoon of the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. Actually the voice is from the devil because he doesn’t want me to be freed from my bondage. It was hard to keep going but I did it, I finished every lap that was on the program for today, and it felt so good afterward. My knee was fine, my ankle was fine, and even the shin splints that had been a little painful on Saturday was not a problem today. Today I was a success and now I have to keep being a success each day of these last three weeks. I want to finish strong! I am facing the fear and continuing on my journey to SUCCESS!!

A fear I have overcome while doing this challenge was to express myself to my husband about the love I feel for God. This was very hard for me because I did not want to be judged or challenged from my husband. God's love was new to me and I knew I was changing in every way, every day. After I opened up to my husband a little at a time, I soon found our distant relationship started to improve as well as our communication with each other and best of all, instead of calling it quits, we soon found ourselves falling in love again. Even though I know so much more about God and have grown very close to him, I still have an on going fear of expressing my love for God to other family members. Things worked out great with my husband and it keeps getting better every day, I have so many people in my life that really need to understand God's love. My fear is not having the confidence to stick up for God and to convince so many people that I know that he is the real deal. I am hopeful to overcome this as I have noticed BFL has helped me express my love for God just by talking to others who also share his love. I have also signed up for an 8 week course on studying the bible. I know that will give me a confidence boost with the new found knowledge I will adquire and of course, as always I have God himself to hold my hand s this awesome journey continues.

HII BILL, I HAVE BEEN FEARFUL ALL OF MY LIFE.I OVERCAME A FEAR OF WHAT OTHERS WOULD THINK OF ME BY POSTING MY PICTURES!!!!!!!! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF TRYING NEW THINGS BECAUSE OF NOT DOING SOMETHING PERFECTLY. I WILL TRY SOMETHING NEW AT THE GYM THIS WEEK. I ALWAYS WORRY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL THINK OF ME!!!!!!!

The fear I have faced recently was starting over. That fear entailed several smaller fears. It held the fear that I was never all that good at things when I was in my "hay day", that I would be no good anymore, that I was physically unable, that I am too fat to get it done, that I wouldn't be any good, that I will get hurt. I could go on easily. I faced that fear and took it one level higher when I started competing horses again after a ten year break and stepped out of my comfort zone to compete in three day eventing a fast paced, athletic, dangerous and somewhat scary equine sport. Having won on my first attempt I think I conquered that fear! ( see my profile photos for a pic of dingle bay and I competing) A fear I will be facing this coming week and will potentially always face is the fear of failure in my marriage. You see, Sean is not my first attempt at marriage. He is however, the one God put in the windowsill when he closed the door on my first marriage. We have our problems. Both of us have abandonment issues. Sean's stem from his family. Mine stem from my first failed marriage. I have daily fears that Sean will leave, stop loving me, stop working at a successful marriage, stop being as perfect as he is for me, stop caring or even have something happen to him. He is very much guilty of planning for the worst and setting himself up with alternatives in case life with me falls through. These are unhealthy fears. I truly believe neither of us will ever leave. I truly believe God put him on this earth to heal me and I him. We both have strong spirituallity and have taken to praying together and doing relationship building exercises every day. We feel the fear daily. We both have nightmares about losing the other person. We feel the fear but we recently got married anyway. We told God, our family and our friends that this fear may not be gone but we did it anyway. We make every day about talkign the fear through and making it managable and an impotent fear. We haven't let the fear control us yet. http://www.transformation.com/forum/now-never-start-date-2-15/7067-getting-started-monday-22.html#post148681 Come see our wedding photo..... No fear !

This is very relevant for me. Actually this is a daily battle for me. I have this side-effect, I think the worst case scenario in every situation. But when I push myself to do it anyway, it turns out great. I can be afraid of going to work, meet people, go to the grocery store etc. And I expect the worst things to happen, because I grew up with a mom with a personal disorder. But everyday I turn my mind around, think positive - and just DO it. So I'll keep on doing just that, facing my fears every day =) And I'm getting better and better each day. Thanks, Bill!

I announced the fear I wanted to address 12 days ago: the fear of making deeper connections with people. Letting relationships develop without being anxious or having to control them. Well, it has certainly been progress in this area. And it hasn't really been that scary at all! It has been very rewarding. In just the last 12 weeks I have had several wonderful people come into my life (all met through the gym!). And I have really enjoyed getting to know them and spending time with them. And just being open and honest as the relationships have been created. Moving forwards, my fear possibly takes a different shape. You see, it's more a fear of creating a romantic relationship. Is it fear that it won't happen, or that I'll miss the 'right' opportunity to do so? I guess this is a bit of control trying to sneak in. That I have to do things 'right'. And from that initial thought, fear comes in that I'll get things wrong or miss out, or there'll be something wrong with me (fear of missing out on love). So maybe it stems from this need for control? For the next seven days, I will focus on letting it all be. Letting the relationships with the new people I meet develop and go as they will. I will focus on being the best and the brightest and lightest I will be. Buit I won't step beyond that into trying to force any particular outcome. For the next 7 days I will operate without fear as to where my relationship with any person will or won't lead. I'll fall right into it and enjoy the fun and the pleasure!

Assignment #15 Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway 1) Write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. Answer: The biggest fear I had when I DECIDED to get started was; Will I keep the self promises I make to myself? Here are the promises I challenged myself with: A) Stay committed to my weight training program and not give in to apathy. B) Give of myself to make a someone other than myself a Transformation Champion. C) Train and commit to the Denver Half Marathon and complete in under 2hrs. D) Stay focused and finish the 18 week challenge obtaining the 9% body fat goal I promised myself. E) Help motivate others that have never run any kind of distance, to bring up their self confidence, and run for the good of their health and for others.(Make A Wish) So far, this has been a fantastic and spiritually/physically rewarding experience. Of the above promises I have achieved many! So my fear of fulfilling my promises to myself have been overcome with shear enjoyment and a lot of help from my teammates here at T.Com and the support of my co-workers. My wife has also made it possible for me to focus on the dream, by giving of herself and teaching me more about myself than I have ever known before. I feel confident in my abilities and want to share it with others. What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation? This one is easy! I would have to say PRIDE! PRIDE in myself, my job, and my background constantly gets me in trouble and jeopardizes my energy level. Why? Because I have had a very good up-bringing and have always lived up to my beliefs. Those beliefs can be very strong and I tend to make everyone accountable for their actions. I have always thought that this is the way a confident person should act and didn't realize, until taking a few lessons that Stoney had put out to me, that there are other ways of managing stress and challenged belief systems! Thank You Stoney! I am getting better, but still fight my commitment to PRIDE. I will work harder this next 4 weeks to bring this under total control! Please pray for me to do just that! Hop

See…I have delayed the actual WRITING of this assignment because I was “afraid” I would not put down the right words! Then I remembered that I was going to continue for many more transformations and that I could do a better job the NEXT time I got to this assignment! So I am doing it anyway! Of course I am afraid that WHATEVER I write, some people might actually read it, and I will be found out to be a whining baby and a weakling! What if my kids read it? My cover as the “wise mentor” will be blown! I can hope that other transformers will just skip on by in a hurry to post their own assignments, right? But if any are like me, they will scroll down and read the words of others…to be inspired by others’ gifts of honesty and greatness. Well, I can at least claim the honesty. So I’m doing this anyway. Actually, being honest and revealing what I considered “weakness” was a big fear for me. The very first time I tried to put a profile page together I actually felt sick when I realized my “info” was online – like I somehow thought it was for administration purposes only!? I did not look at the website again for 6 months! And this is so ironic, because I have made it a practice in my life to always do the thing I feared the most. I have really thrown myself out there on the outer level – training, travelling, pushing the adventure envelope and generally taking risks all with the intention of taking away fear. Funny how these little interior fears are now the hardest things for me. I guess I have already conquered the outside world and now am confronting my inner adversaries. What is happening for me during this Transformation is an OVERALL reduction of fear. Fear does not even feel the same way. I did not realize what an altered, aggravated SENSATION of the fear response I had – it was exaggerated! One tiny example was a “task” I had put off about a stock trade I had made where I needed to look up some data before filing for taxes. I was so sure it was going to take me hours, if not days to locate the data (exaggerated fear response) and when I finally went to take care of the task, it took about 20 seconds! Fear of the task was by FAR greater than the task itself! Lots of things feel easier now. I seem to FEEL faith that things will be OK. What do I still fear? I am afraid that I will actually get what I want. I fear success, I fear NOT being fat. I realized this at the first of the year when I switched out the old calendar. I saw that LAST JANUARY (a year ago January) I had recorded my “beginning” scale weight and BF% and that with a YEAR of dedicated effort I had NOT LOST ONE POUND! That told me that something in my subconscious was FAR stronger than any outer plan I had in place! I asked myself WHY I WANTED TO KEEP THE FAT? WHAT HAD HAPPENNED AT OTHER TIMES WHEN I HAD BEEN THIN? Well, there had been many times when I was thin, and I realized that each time, some disaster had occurred in my life. One thin time my Dad died…another time my 2 youngest kids went off to Washington State to live…then I got a terrible bladder infection caught out in the wilderness camping (result of Atkins?)…another time escalated into a period of deep marital distress…another time my husband (early years of marriage) left and went away for active duty. Pretty much I associate being thin with pain, loneliness and depression. Oh yes, and FEAR, because the other thing that happens every time I am thin is that I am cute and I start attracting attention (yes, 60- year- olds can be cute). This has caused jealousy over and over again in my marriage. And even though I have never tested this, I really do not know what my personal behaviors would be if I stayed thin for long. Would I encourage this attention? I think I am afraid to find out. How will I confront this? The good thing is that I AM accomplishing the Transformation, and for me that means becoming STRONG and FREE. So whatever happens, it is time for it to happen. I am STRONG enough for the experience…and will be FREE to find out exactly what that experience will be. I have discussed with others the possibility that my life is going to get “shaken up,” but said that my single strategy is to live each moment as it came. That means not holding on to the past or predicting a future based upon it. I told my husband that if I was a “new” me, then I respected the same possibility for him – not remembering or holding on to any past hurts or resentments or negative expectations…just living now.

The fear that I have overcome in the transformation process is the fear that I would not accomplish another project. When I first started I worried that I would not make it through the first 18-weeks because of lack of self control or loss of interest or that I would let something else clutter my life and take away this opportunity. However, I knew I needed change for life and I pushed myself to complete the first 18-week challenge. I did it! It was an awesome feeling just knowing I completed something. Now, the one fear I am about to overcome this weekend is meeting up with other Transformation friends. I’ve seen the videos and the photos and I could feel the energy from them. But I have not participated in any kind of get-together because of distance or wondering if I could measure up. As Bill said, “Feel the fear and do it anyways.” So, it will happen this weekend. CONFIDENCE MAN!!! Brian

I know I have let fear control and paralyze me. This assignment came out 10 days ago and I have avoided it since. I haven’t made time for it because of FEAR! Doing this assignment is facing a fear in and of itself! When I examine the reasons why I avoided it, I realize I didn’t want to feel any pain. I didn’t want to open up old wounds. I didn’t want to give up my “excuse.” You see, if I have no fear then I have no excuse for not going after the things I believe God is calling me to do! Sounds pretty ridiculous considering I believe God is calling me…then I should believe He will see me through and my faith should eclipse my fear. I wish it were that easy. The good news is I am willing to feel the fear and do it anyway. I did when I posted my before pictures. I was afraid that I wouldn’t complete this challenge just like I hadn’t completed the many before this one and that my pictures would just be an embarrassment to myself and my family. What I learned is that in feeling the fear and doing it anyway, I was propelled forward! I also felt fear when I signed up to complete a 10k last month. I have never been a runner but have always wanted to accomplish something like this. When I crossed that finish line I was in awe of my accomplishment. I was in awe of my own body. It was another moment I felt propelled forward in my dreams, my walk, my life. In the next seven days, I will feel the fear of disappointing others, being inadequate and being rejected and I need to let go of and overcome these fears which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation!. I know most of it has to do with the fact that I didn’t complete college. I also know that anything is possible with God so I will face my fears and be propelled into my future! Thank you Bill for calling us on our fears!

My biggest fear is that I am losing my walk with God. I read my bible everyday and sometime twice a day and I always pray,because the power of prayer is everything that we need in our everyday life. But to actually walk in the Lord,I feel like I am losing it. I know alot of people are going thru alot of stuff and I realize I am not the only one. But I feel disconnected from Him. I am lost for words cause it's very hard for me to explain how I feel right now. about year ago I snapped the cap off my elbow and had surgery and it is very hard for me to straighten my right arm. So,I been out of work for quite some time,and trying to start eating right and lose some weight and get to where my brother is at right now.But my greatest fear I am trying to overcome is my faith. I know that God has a plan for me as well as this transformation site also,and like 2Cor,5:7 says to walk by faith and not by sight. I will overcome with God in my life,I know that I will. Terry

So I'm back..I've had a lot of time to think about this. My biggest fear that I have overcome would be that I would give in to what my heart was telling me and risk hurting others. I found that working on the transformation assignments and also studying the bible doctrine I became stronger person and realized that I had to do what was right for me which in turn would be right for everyone in the long run. For years I have stayed in a marriage that I felt was very unloving and I stayed and continued trying to "fix" myself. Maybe then everyone would be happy. I felt in my heart that our marriage had to end but the fear I had inside was overwhelming! I felt my kids would be devastated, mad at me, dislike me, and basically ruin our relationships. I would continue to push things deeper down inside. The resentment and anger continued to get worse. I had to be honest with myself and take responsibility for the way I lived my life. I was the one who chose to live the way I did. It was time that I stood up for myself. I made the decision to end our marriage. I found the strength and courage to face it and now I am looking forward to a new future. Its not going to be easy but I have gained a new confidence in myself and I have faith in God. I will be fine and so will my kids. My next step is to face the fear of putting myself back into the workplace. I have stayed at home with the kids for many years and trying to get a job that pays well and has benefits will be challenging, but at this point, I just say "bring it"!

My initial fear was can I stick with it. The diet and exercise. Is this just a phase? Nope I'm addicted. I love my new life. Thank you for the material you make avaliable. I have new fear challenges everyday from clients to family. I have learned to get into the uncomfortable zone. This is where I have learned to gain the most. Newest fear = Denver Marathon

****UPDATE**** Fear Conquered, and slapped silly! I don't know what I was thinking. Ok, here's what I did. I did some serious inner reflecting here. Why am I afraid of the attention. One thing is, if I get any attention, in a way I felt I would be betraying my husband, whom I love and adore more than anything. Praise from guys, can be seen in a negative way, if it's not in check. I don't want to appear as flirting or being untrue. I don't want to appear to be taking my commitment to him or my family lightly. So, if I hide behind a layer of blubber, I don't have to worry about male attention. It won't come my way. Just typing this is so hard. Solution, lose the weight anyway, and know that I am commited to my family more than anything. If I do my spiritual Cardio (thanks Stoney) I know I have the strength to overcome this. So many of our fears are just made up things we tell ourselves will happen. So untrue, most of the time. This fear that I have had is just another of Satan's tools to keep me enslaved to my body. Why would I give him that degree of control over me. I can't believe I Have for so long! Bill , this has been the most powerful assignment yet. I can completely say that I have overcome this, and am ready to conquer my next fear. xoxo, Terri

Assignment 15 What is a fear that I have already overcome? I used to be afraid of giving my time, talents, and energy to helping others. I would often go over and battle with myself in my head and make myself feel guilty for not doing something I felt God was moving me to do. I would always rationalize it and make excuses: someone else who doesn't have kids will do it, I can't do it I am not good enough at it, etc. Since doing this transformation challenge I have given my time, talents, and energy to helping others and guess what? I did it!!! I coach the Girl's Running Club one day a week at my school afterschool. I am in the middle of the process to become a Professional Development Master Teacher in my school system to help new and young teachers learn best teaching practices. I have joined support groups here at T-com and have supported and encouraged and helped others. And do you know what else? I am enjoying doing it. I am listening to God's will for my life and am bearing fruit and receiving blessings and joy in return. Please God keep pruning my branches daily. What is a fear that I will confront between now and this time next week? I still fear sometimes that I won't be able to get everything done that I am suppossed to do to be "responsible". And I am also afraid that the stress of life will cause me to go on an eating binge. What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome that would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation? I need to let go of my fear of going on an eating binge and focus on the moments that God is putting before me each day. I need to use these times of stress in life to make myself stronger deep in my soul. From my strong soul will come a strong healthy body that can continue to love myself and love and help others.

Fears I Have Overcome In This Process: Exposing my fears unto others. This was huge big time for me. I grew up in fear and by bringing my fears out from concealment, it was like a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders and I became stronger. I was able to blast off the chain and ball that I have been dragging around. My self image and what others would think of me. I was so afraid of what others would think about my teeth and would not smile in front of them and the camera. A self image problem. By just smiling and letting go, I am happier and not consumed with thoughts of myself. My fear of being highlighted and shown as an example. I overcame this fear by exposing it and truely realized that I am a child of God, that I come from a divine Creator and made in his image. "Playing small does not serve the world...there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you". The biggest fear I have recently overcome is the fear of not succeeding in life. In my assignment four back in January, I wrote about myself: "You are transforming because of the way you think and how your beliefs limit you. From an early age in your home environment, you were taught that it is not right or allowed to get what you want. You have the false belief that you are not allowed to succeed and it is wrong to go for your dreams. You have the belief that to win in life, to obtain, or even be blessed financially is not allowed and improper in the eyes of God, family, and others." I was afraid of failure but stuck in this rut that it was wrong to succeed. I limited myself in many different ways. During the transformation challenge, I even feared '"what if I don't win the challenge or named a transformation champion" . Does that mean life is over? Does that mean I am a failure in life? Does that define my existence? I have come to a deeper understanding of Spencer, my divine heritage, my purpose, my relationship with my Heavenly Father and realize that I am already a champion in life. As Paul McMahon said: "We are all Champions in the end...this is about the human spirit" (Transformation Talk Radio). The transformation has gone through me. I have become "aware". This is about "awareness". I am healthier, stronger, facing fears, and have been working to come closer to my Divine Creator. A great peace is within me. I feel the Spirit and I am at peace with myself. I am forgiving myself, others, and embracing my true potential in life. I am loving myself and discovering all the blessings one by one. I do not feel the fear like I did before. I do not feel stress or anxiety like before. I am feeling alive and at peace. Success or failure in life or the challenge does not define me. I am a child of God. I am loved by my Heavenly Father. He has given me life and I embracing it to bless others. I can say, I love the real Spencer, the child of God that I am discovering, the real champion inside. Please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. There are certain individuals in my life where the relationship has not been as close as it can be. There is something there that when we come in contact with each other, there is a feeling of akwardness and we feel more comfortable not to be in each other presence. I have had a fear to address the issue and the individuals. This will require me demonstrate courage to challenge our relationship, seek to understand their feelings, take courage to be understood, apologize, change my perception, love others, and work on our relationship.

P.S. Sorry about not posting right away when you released this assignment :-) Shawn

Fear. We all have it. It can control us to go above and beyond in a positive direction with our lives. Leave one stagnated. Keep a person from succeeding. The fear of success and coming into grand opportunity, though all positive, can hold someone back mentally, if they are not willing to handle it. A fear I have personally overcome during this process is not worrying anymore about showing how I truly look online. For most men, we tend to have a somewhat pride about thinking the fat is muscle, when it’s not. In efforts for virtually forcing myself to overcome the fear of embarrassment, I created a YouTube channel and bared it all upper body wise. Swallowing pride, I disclosed how I truly looked in January 2009 at the time starting Transformation. It was then, and putting all of my business out on MySpace through my social profile that the “mental light switch” finally turned on after 8 years to overcome the fear of potentially being a success, rebuilding a new body. I was looking forward to comments on You tube of not wearing my bra or something along those lines, when in fact people who viewed videos and left comments were positively supporting me. I was truly thankful for seeing these positive words of support, while it helped me to overcome that particular fear. Another fear that I overcame is not allowing people to influence me obtusely anymore based on my financial and living situation. It hurts to be talked down to by some folk who all they do is look down on you and pass judgment because you are living at home with no job. I had fear of telling women I am unemployed now, and living at home. Now that I have the opportunity to better myself not only through professional blogging on the internet in building myself up as a new entrepreneur to the world wide web, but, I no longer have fear of telling people I am over 30 years old now , unemployed, living at home and on a weekly unemp. check of $115.00 a week from The Delaware Dept. of Labor, food stamps, and going to additional food closets weekly to stock up on food.. It was fearful in the beginning because you don’t desire to hear the adverse reactions and laughter from people after you tell them your current living and financial situation. Swallowing pride is a hard thing to do also and rolling with the punches when it comes to humbling yourself in life. Now that there is a potential sunny road and light up ahead in hopefully looking forward to, it gives me the incentive and positive pressure needed to overcome the fear of saying “Yes, I was a failure before in life” and pushing forward regardless of what anyone says offline about me. I’vew overcome the fear of people putting me down to my face and saying anything that could hinder the progression of positive endeavors pursued during my lifetime. Thank you kindly Bill for posting this assignment. It helped release thoughts out of me. Now that I have, I feel extra motivation in staying on track, and being the Engineer of Success ! To OUR success as a Transformation family, Shawn Drewry

Update -- I led a song in my Zumba class tonight! Fear confronted and I triumphed! Holly

A fear that I have conquered is truly getting in touch with myself through a journal that I am committed to writing my true thoughts and feelings in. I have committed to writing in it daily and continue to do so. In fact, I enjoy it so much that I keep it in the car with me so that I can write throughout the day. Fear = be more spontaneous! I will not have an agenda tomorrow! SCARY!

Finally getting a chance to do this. I have faced so many fears since beginning this transformation challenge. My fear of committing because I couldn't bear the thought of failing which was my MO, huge fear of posting before photo, fear that I wouldn't be loved for who I was and needed to "fix' my flaws first but put myself out there anyway, recently had an invite to a pilates class and was so intimidated in my current body but did it anyway and have stuck to it so far, fear of putting myself first I truly thought I would loose my family somehow or that they would resent me (still worry about that a little). As far as a current fear I can tackle in the next week, my fear of letting go of control! I know it may sound silly but control(which I know is only an illusion anyway) is so big for me. Letting go of my need to control things, myself, and people is so foreign and I kind of feel like the bottom is falling out from under me when I think of surrendering and simply letting life unfold. I have such fear that if I let go something bad might happen to my kids or I won't get what I want from relationships. Somewhere along the line I learned if I don't do it it ain't going to happen. I don't know if I even know what letting go really means. I know it requires trust and faith and I don't seem to have a lot of that for me. I have so much of it for others though. I guess that is because I don't have to feel their fear. So my goal is to "let go of control" and see where life takes me.

Assignment #15 First, please write down a fear you have already overcome in this process. I definitely have overcome the fear of commitment. I’m a man of integrity and I will not commit to something that I don’t feel I will accomplish. An 18 week commitment, where I needed to write down goals, and do assignments….originally when I found the T.com I signed up and then thought about it, and never did it. This was April of 2008 I believe. I kept in the back of my mind and finally I realized that it was what I needed to do for myself, and for those around me. I faced a fear, and I’m accomplishing it every day. Next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation?" This may sound like a week one, but I have a fear of traveling with my wife. We both get stressed out right before and it makes for a longer trip sitting in silence. Tomorrow we leave for North Carolina which is a 10 hour trip by car. We will be traveling with our one year old so it may be longer. We planned on driving through the night, and I worked two night shifts prior to it so I’ll be on a night schedule for the trip. Again my biggest fear about traveling is fighting with my wife and driving in silence. One more fear that I can put down is that I will not be near a gym, and I want to stay on tract with my fitness. I’m planning on doing a military style workout while I’m down there. I have a fear of giving into excuses and taking the easy road. I know that if I continue to workout while I’m away, I’ll take one more step in my transformation.

I was afraid of failing in college. Somehow I registered and eventually graduated with my Masters Degree in Biology. It was a difficult process but well worth the trials and tribulations. I am currently afraid of failure or success. I'm not sure which. I must keep pushing forward. Sue

I put myself in Therapy (even though it always scared me) finally, which I am actually participating actively in order to improve my mental health issues. I have been off work for the last week dealing with stress and eating issues again, am back on medication and heading back to work tomorrow for the first time in over a week; even though that scares me also. I imagine I will be working through a lot of my fears in these sessions.

Assignment 15 I generally am a person who confronts my fears. For example, I often go to singles events by myself, and I keep getting out there dating, when many of my friends have packed it in. I have gone on Outward Bound trips and used to be an instructor with high ropes and adventure courses. I have traveled to Latin America by myself and lived with a family and then traveled solo and over the past several years have gone on scuba diving vacations alone. I went back to school and got my doctorate and I wrote a book, even though I was really scared. When I was 23 I looked up my father who I had not seen since middle school and went to see him and made peace with him, which turned out to be months before he died of a heart attack. I could go to his funeral in peace. Generally in a crisis I am strong and calm, and I face physical and emotional crises in my job regularly. I do still have many fears, smaller ones, which I let linger. One fear that I have overcome is the fear of posting my innermost thoughts and pictures on the internet and that some of my students would find it and use it to ridicule me. After a week I realized I had to go for it, I mean really go for it, and so now I even post a daily accountability. If they want to find out about me, they can. see everything even what I eat daily. Yikes! While I still have some reservations about this, I mainly feel that the more authentic I am the better. I remember that when I became a principal I promised myself that I would only do it if I could still be me. There are so many stereotypes of the principal to get over in this job. I am kind of wacky and funny and I have managed to incorporate that into my “principal” persona. So with this all over the place, that is really being authentic. Overcoming, or facing, this fear has brought me closeness and support from many all over the community of transformation land. It helps me counteract my feelings that I am alone and that no one likes or understands me. At so many times, the exact right comment has arrived on my web site. It is amazing. I would have missed so much had I not done that. Right now my biggest fear of the week is leading a Zumba class. I am going to lead a song in my class this Wednesday and I am posting and planning for a class for my teachers on April 14 at 3:15 in the gym. I am practicing and practicing. I think I am afraid because I feel too old and fat to be a model of fitness. I am afraid I will mess up and I am afraid of looking stupid. This fear of looking stupid has held me back many times in my life. When I was growing up we went to Cape Cod in the summer staying with my aunt and I spent a lot of time with kids with a lot more money than we had. My mother signed me up for sailing lessons and everyone had to wear a life preserver. I was proud of my swimming ability and too embarrassed to wear the life vest, so I quit. To this day, I am a great crew member, but do not know how to sail solo. Unbelievable. Many times I have not been willing to try something when it looks like I won’t be good at it right away. I don’t play basketball or many team sports for this reason. I like soccer because the ball keeps going and no one looks at you when you mess up. I mean really! I need to get over this. So this week, I will lead the song in my class, and by the week after, I will lead a whole class.!!!! AAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!! So scared!

My post is so endlessly loooooooong! Please go to my blog to read it! Thank you! Hugs, Juliane

It's time for the 6 month wellness checkins post my breast cancer surgery almost 2 years ago. One of the motivators for my transformation is to move my body to a state of fit and healthy well-being. With the type of cancer I had, having elevated body fat can be a factor in re-occurance. With 17 lbs off on my way to 50, I am feeling pretty good about where I am going thanks to the support of this community. But, each time I have to re-check in with the medical world, I need to carefully protect the positivity that got me to this point. When I see the docs its a reminder of the past fears...fear of dying...fear of being sick... But Bill said to us this week in assignment 15 to allow the fear to enter so you can move past it...so today, I am allowing myself a minute of feeling fear and then I'm going right back to the positivity that has me euphoric most of the day. I have never felt stronger or more in tune with my health since that surgury...I haven't felt this athletically fit in years...I am a strong believer in the physical and non-physical worlds...I know I am on my way to the life I want to create for myself...long, full of friends and family, abundant wealth, and the freedom it brings to help others to the same place. Fear will not get the best of me today. Will you post to help me stay focused through the day?

A huge fear that I've overcome so far is that, with all the trouble I was in last year, I would reach out and nobody would care enough to help me. Words alone can't describe how wrong that was. I reached out and found more help and love than I could have possibly hoped for. My family jumped right in. This community reached out. I found a church that wanted me there, wanted to help me find God's embrace again. Nobody judged me. Nobody washed their hands of me. I've been embraced, guided, and celebrated at every turn. I can never put into words what this has meant to me. I have my life back. My kids have their Daddy back. I have my faith back. I'm alive and grateful for every moment. Okay, so what other fears can I identify and address? More specifically, what fears can I address in the next seven days? Well, how about the fear that I've bitten off more than I can chew? I committed to a 5K race on April 19. I've told myself that the goal is just to finish, and still I've been afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it. So, Saturday morning, 11 April, I am going to do 5K as my morning workout. I don't care if I have to walk part of it. I don't care how long it takes. I am going to finish my 5K a week early, and put the fear of not being capable of it to rest.

Fear I have already overcome: The fear that I will not finish what I start. I’ve always had trouble with over committing and then burning out quickly and moving on to something else. It’s very much in-line with the lowest level habits that I identified in Assignment 8. I don’t have any doubt now though that I will not only see this Transformation Challenge through but also continue beyond these 18 weeks. Fear that I will confront: The fear that I will finish this Transformation having failed to achieve my purpose of drawing closer to God. This Transformation has very much been one that works from the outside in for me. I have made tremendous progress physically, and I am seeing increasing progress emotionally and mentally, but I still feel I have a long way to go spiritually. I’ve managed to do quite well working out six times a week and eating five or six healthy, well-portioned meals a day…yet I struggle with the simple task of making sure I take time to pray daily or read the Word at least a few times a week. I’m afraid that I will fail in this part of it, and that is what I need to confront and overcome to move forward.

I was afraid of many things at the beginning of this journey. One in particular was if I stopped drinking alchohol will my husband and I still have a bond. I was so afraid to not drink with him but it has really worked out for me. To the extent that when we went to dinner one night I asked him if he liked me better when I drank or when I did not drink. He chose when I do not drink. WOW! this floored me and made me even more determined not to drink. I have done well and can honestly say, I do not know why I drank to begin with. Life is so much sweeter and clearer when you are sober. My next step that I have been thinking about for weeks now. I know that I MUST do it but I am so scared. I owe an apology to an old friend/ex coworker. We were buddies for years and then I started to treat him badly. I spoke down to him and I was nasty at times. I truly miss him and his friendship. One of my fears is of rejection but also because he has a hisotry of a bad temper and is a competitor in the stong men contests. He could break me like a twig, not that he would but he could. Anyway, by next week I will approach him and apologize for my past behavior.

The fear I felt when I first started the transformation was that I wouldn't follow through and that I would end up like I was before. I was afraid that depression would come back and paralyze my thoughts and actions. So much of what I hoped and dreamed of has come true. The self limiting beliefs that kept me where I was have been challenged and defeated. For the most part, fear isn't relevant anymore. The one fear that I have right now is that I feel that I am losing my ability to relate to my mother and brother, and other people who are stuck in a perspective. I have been in such a positive state of mind, and have begun to experience shifts in consciousness that have been really freeing. But my brother is someone who is full of fear, and I can't reach him. We fight because, from his perspecitve, the world is a dangerous place full of cruel and stupid people. I don't see the world that way, and wish that there were something that I could say to give him hope. So we run out of things to say, and end up fighting. I love my family, and they love me, but right now I feel really far away from them. Robin

Bill – Thanks for this Assignment #15. I am only in my 5th week, at Assignment #5, taking them on weekly, however, I am skipping ahead to take this one on because it will do me much good. I am keeping this short, and mailing you a more detailed version. First - the fears I've conquered since the beginning - Posting personal info and pictures on this site. I knew I had to do it to grow in spirit, but I was still apprehensive about exposing this great community to my personal thoughts and pictures. I was also fearful of beginning to exercise hard again with a large lateral hernia in my abdomen and possibly reinjuring my previously torn right bicep. I’ve reached Week #5 of my BFL regimen O.K. so far. Second – the fear I have to conquer this week, I am doing right now. I am contacting you , and telling you that becoming a Transformation medal winner (Level II, or Champ) is a dream/goal of mine. I didn’t want to come off as cocky. I wanted to put that in my goals like Spencer (Discodancer) did, but I don't know exactly why I've been afraid to do it. I talked myself out of it several times. Something in my gut says - you want it, declare it, write it down, (go for it - have courage - tell the world damn you!), and part of me I guess still doubts it could ever happen to a guy like me. I do want to remain humble in this effort. I was torn between what to do. Well – now I’ve done it, and now you know. I am not stopping at 18 weeks, and I will eliminate these negative doubts once and for all. The medal / rewards will come if I am deserving of them. I will take my small victories a day and a pound at a time. I had a boss that always said- "You can only eat an elephant a bite at a time." That’s the plan, and I am sticking to it, thanks to you and your inspiration. God Bless you and your family, John

To honestly say, I have a fear of self commitment and not following through with it. I fear sometimes telling people things that I want to do and not ever complete it. I get afraid that I will not complete something and people will look at me as a quitter or slacker! It has been with me for years. I use to want to fly for the Navy and you know what? I never put in the application or completed the packet. Now, completing classes and even putting in for this challenge has been a major fear... even now. For the challenge though, I have increased my awareness to myself, my thoughts, and to see through the challenges that face me that could throw me off course. A major fear that I will come up against in the next 7 days is the amount of work that I have to do, or think I have to keep up with. Sometimes it feels I don't have enough time in the day and my life is too cluttered. Yet, I know these things aren't life saving issues and I must not stress over them. My other fear I think to myself is if I will have enough energy to do all this, complete my workouts, and have enough energy to get through the day. As you can see, my fear is mainly stressful situations that I anticipate. I know I shouldn't stress over them though. This is a fear that I have to progressively get over and manage. Honestly, with all this, I am afraid that I will put too much energy in a specific area and not enough in others. But, I pray to the Lord everyday for strength and energy to do the things I need to do and take care of my family first and foremost. Everything else will take care of itself. ~Shawn

Fear of Death I lost at 19, replaced by a fear of never evolving (so in that sense I have a fear, a motivating one that I do not in fact now fear.)------------- Fear of “loneliness” died about the same time, but now I know I am, we all are, it is the way.------------- Fear of “never loving” faded, then rose, it waxed then waned, it ebbed then returned, as I have and am loved, we all are.------------------ Fear of rejection is mute and holds no sway to actions as to be rejected by a force that rejects is a good thing, it leaves us free to be----------- Fear of “corruption?” within or without, now those I embrace when found to cut them out like a cancer------------ Conquered fears of flying, heights, depths, living, dying, heat and cold over many years on the anvil.------ As callous or fraudulent as it may sound to some, I really can’t name one. Are there any? Maybe ,but I don’t see them nor even feel their shadowy presence.---------- Ahh, I got one that’s close but more of a “fear of waste” than an actually, nail biting, knee-knocking, stomach lightening one:----“Entropy” (That point in time physics says is always winding down too a “someday NOW moment.”) “No Motion” “No hot, No cold,” only temperature, “No up nor Down, only direction,” Oneness means “Only One.”----------- I’ve lived before, alone, afraid, hunted, hungry, wounded, hopeless, no past, just being. I’ve lived with love and hate, power and weakness, and yes with regrets, regrets that I really am thankful for. What can I say? NO! life doesn’t really scare me anymore, and maybe that’s not the good thing one would think it is. As I now won’t smell the danger as it approaches in the night of ignorance nor hear the bugs “say nothing” thus telling me everything I need to hear, NOW!, prior to the ambush sprung. “NO FEAR” for me means naked in a world of brambles and thorns but IT IS all I have to give. I did lose a fear of sharing, here, on Tcom, thought.

I've just blogged this assignment in greater detail, but the short of it is: (1) I was terrified to post my before pictures because they were an acknowledgment that I was imperfect and had failed (in my mind) by completely regressing in my physical condition. I overcame that fear when I made a pledge on this site to be transparent and honest with this Challenge and drop the mask of perfection. (2) I am still afraid of failing my children by not protecting them from my "fat kid" past. So much of what I do is to keep them safe from the hurt I felt as a fat kid, but I know I need to let go of my strong identity with that part of my life and live (and rejoice) in the present-- trusting that my children will be influenced by who I am TODAY. I've outlined in my blog what specific steps I'll take in the next week to work past this fear that is limiting my progress.

Just an updsate on my fear. So many of my fears seem to root from my fear of the unknown and eath. I have been so much aware of that since I cam back from Hawaii and it seems like the first time in my life I am really dealing with this instead of judging myself for being weak. I have made such huge gains in such a short time after I have been dealing with this. I am so grateful for this and it seems to be really freeing me to be able to be able to do more and more. Yahoo!!!! I was talking to my wife about this today and how muich better I feel and willing to do new things and face the fear and actually let go of the fear when it comes and just see what happens!! Marty

Bill, I love this assignment because its what I teach my kids every day when they talk to me about a challenge at school or in their personal life. I have never had anyone ask ME what my fears are or have been. Most people assume that I am strong, that I have my ducks in a row, that I have it all together. The truth is, that I do have all my ducks in a row but I'm scared to death that its not enough. That it will never be enough. I will come back to that, but I want to answer the first part first. Three big fears that I have overcome already during this challenge are: 1.) Posting my week 1 photo...this assignment made me SEE for real what I looked like to everyone else. I am my worst critic and when I saw that picture, it wasn't quite as scary as what I imagined...I can't believe I am saying that, but its true. 2.) Posting my bodyweight...I don't tell people my bodyweight...mostly b/c I have alot of muscle and it sounds like I weight alot! And I do! But regular people don't understand that muscle weighs more than fat...and I have always been musclular but smaller in size. 3.) Telling my family and friends exactly what I need and want. I always put other people first...always. Always. And I want people to like me so I never want to seem needy or dependent. The scariest thing was to tell my husband that I needed more food!!! More good food! Less empty starchy food and more protein and veggies...because I was afraid he would think I was eating too much. Or I thought he was watching me eat and thinking that I was overeating. Now I eat without abandon...because I know what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. And I don't care or worry what people think. Those were my fears that I have overcome so far. Now, as for what fears I have yet to face: There are two. 1.) I fear that I will fail...or that the work I have done won't be good enough. I would like to finish that sentence with "for ___(insert name)_______" but I can't because I don't know who. And 2.) I am afraid of getting fit and healthy and thin because I feel like that was a huge factor in why I got divorced the first time. I got super skinny and cute and my husband got jealous and we got divorced. Now, if I'm skinny and cute again will I be the same self centered person I was before? I know I am not that way, but what if I am. So, that is a struggle for me...in my head, I know its not going to be that way, but at the same time, I keep wondering if I'm strong enough to handle it.

The fear I have overcome is that of failure. Years and years of trying to lose weight, exercise and become a better person then failing time after time had led me to a point where I didn't even want to try anymore because the pain of failure seemed so much bigger than any success could be. I was always wishing for the perfect situation or time in my life that would be free from distraction, injury or any type of personal problems that always meant failure. The day I realized that the perfect situation was here and now and failure was no longer an option, It was like dropping a thousand pounds of mental weight overnight! (who says there is no such thing as a quick fix...lol) Sure enough, distraction, injury and and problems showed up right on schedule, however, when failure was not an option, I simply could not experience fear (frustration, yes... but the fear was gone)......Now, the fear I have today is just telling my story, the good, bad, and ugly of it all. I didn't think I had a problem with this, however, when I start to write up my assignments, I find myself putting them off, getting writers block, starting then walking away from the computer and not coming back to finish (kinda like I want to do right now...lol). It's a little like in the album "The Wall" by Pink Floyd. "I sentence you to be exposed before your peers..." Gonna be a tough week! Wish me luck! (failure is not an option!)

Okay Bill...this assignment required me to dig a little! I took this weekend to examine myself internally. I want to thank you once again for your depth of concern in our lives for being transformed! The one thing that REALLY stands out, that I have overcome in this Challenge is that over the past 7 yrs., I have not been able to stick to anything for more than about five minutes! ***I have overcame the fear of 'not being able to stay consistent while in this Challenge and then becoming an embarrassment to myself in front of all the people around me!' That fear has been conquered. YES! ~ Now, for the next fear that I have and that I will confront between now and this time next week is "afraid of not being good enough." I have actually been confronting this issue this entire time, however, this week, I plan to conquer this fear and get it dealt with once and for all! *Most of the time I do feel pretty confident in myself & that 'I am good enough', BUT THEN! ALL OF A SUDDEN...OUT OF NOWHERE!...I GET BLASTED WITH THIS FEAR OF "NOPE!, NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" So I guess you could say I have strong days and I have weak days. I WILL confront this fear this week and ...humm...I think I just got the answer I was looking for...YES BILL, this is getting dealt with as I typ these words! THANK YOU BILL!

I use to fear that by showing my brokeness inside that others would reject me but what I AM growing INTO is that woman that KNOWS her brokenness and is STRENGTHENED by GODS WHOLENESS. To be human is to admit we are broken and powerless inside and need GOD FULLY in ourlives. In my weakness I am made strong. Unless that seed dies it cant grow. Its through HUMILITY that we FIND LIFE. I am not afraid to show YOU my HUMILITY. I am not afraid to SHARE MY HEART! I would rather LIVE OPEN and FULLY and LOVE ON YOU and risk being rejected than NOT LIVE FROM MY HEART and genuinely! I could not say this when I started this transformation. I would be AFRAID to share my brokenness. Also having seen my precious mothers BIRTH into heaven....I tasted LOVE in a way that I HAD tasted before in my life! I experienced something SO PROFOUND that NO words can articulate the DEPTH and the EXPERIENCE. My mother taught me how a godly woman is birthed into heaven....my mother taught me also HOW TO LIVE in that moment. Being birthed into heaven is NOT SCARY! There is MORE PEACE...MORE LOVE.than YOU will EVER EVER KNOW! So AMAZING! What am afraid of? I have had a DEEP fear of flying. I really have said most of my life JUST NOT DOING IT! I would rather be on the ground where I can stand than fly. But you know I would fly to KONNA...I would walk on water with JESUS to experience that for myself and my precious family! I remeber my friend Annie saying Shari we are going to walk on water as we let go of your moms heartblood pressure meds and we release her into Heaven. Stay focused and we are going to walk on water. God held me upon the water that day. the waves were going everywhere...yet PEACE was there! I think about that DAY everyday and its LEFT a huge imprint on my heart! My mother taught me how to DIE ...and she taught me how to LIVE. I dont want to live in fear...I want to live FREELY IN the GOD OF ALL GRACE who has made me IN HIS IMAGE! I want to LOVE FREELy with out fear of misunderstanding. I TOTALLY LOVE GOD and I totally LOVE LOVING! ITS so a part of me! I am not going to fear how others may not GET THAT...its WHO GOD MADE ME to BE...and I AM FREE TO BE ME! LOVING YOU! Shari

I LOVE THIS! I have a little printed page hanging on my wall at work that says "feel the fear and do it anyway" I have had some recent thoughts come to mind as I have been pondering this very subject. FEAR IS A MYTH. Fear is a tool of the adversary it is not real, it only exists in our minds. It keeps us from doing the only thing that can get us to our goals which is action. I also realize that Fear and Faith cannot co-exist Faith is the exact opposite of fear. So to combat fear I have been trying to perform and act of faith.. Do I think I will never fear again.....of course not! But I think it is an emotion like attitude that can be weeded out of the mind and I will work to be fearful less and less and I will remind myself that its a myth and those periods when fear enter the mind will become shorter. In Hawaii Bill you asked us to let go of some things, just simply leave them there. I did, many things actually but one that I think I have been working on over the course of my Transformation was a fear of rejection or in other words my need for acceptance. What I learned is what matters most is how I feel about myself inside. I don t have to long for others acceptance or seek their validation to know I am doing well. The interesting thing is, once you begin to gain that confidence others automatically respond because that self esteem or optimism is contagious. The thing I am Facing right now is the fear of success. I know I have an unlimited potential inside. I think I have unlocked it and cracked the door just a little. But with that comes a lot of unknown. SO i have to let go of the fear of the future, fear of success and just let it flow. Let all things flow in and out of my life having faith that I will be blessed with abundance in all things. Having Faith that when I do the work the reward is there waiting, no matter what the circumstance.....................................Paul Hancock aka (DUDE)

I have faced many fears throughout this transformation so far! I feel so liberated! But it seems like after I conquer one fear another one pops up! I have recently started fearing the possibility that I will not acheive my goals as planned! I have started thinking that maybe I won't ever be able to BE the change! I am dealing with this one right now. But I have to admit it is hard. I have failed so many times. I always seem to be the one that isn't quite good enough! This is the biggest fear I have faced yet!

Being the daredevil that I am, I have faced many fears and experienced the adrenaline rush that comes from defying it. I felt and faced fear when I trained and stepped into the boxing ring for the first, second, and third time :) Fear is what I faced when I jumped 50 feet off a cliff into the lake. Experiencing fear in such a way has served me well. I was at a point with my faith when Jonnae was diagnosed that I didn't fear the outcome, even were it her death (which I don't even refer to as such, it was her Heavenly Birth) For a while after her worldly departure, I feared how some of my past might affect the message God has appointed me to deliver. I left that past, and everything attached to it, in Kona. Since my faith has been tested and become so strong, it's hard for me to think I fear anything. I am going to reflect on this and see what comes up. I have had an immensely difficult and painful time lately dealing with rejection. Is fear at the root of that? I am not thinking it is, but Im willing to dig deep and see what's revealed.

I learned we all have different types of fear in the mind. One level of fear is different from another feeling of fear. I'll gladly elaborate on this in detail momentarily, while I work on a blog post and compressing more videos for the Transformation community to see. Hopefully, I'll outline it thoroughly by early this week :-)

I had a fear of committing to this challenge even though I wanted it and needed it. My fear of failure was holding me back. I have quit before because I was afraid that I wouldn't or couldn't succeed. The hardest part was overcoming the fear and starting. The second fear I have to overcome is the fear of opening my heart up again. Since my divorce five years ago I've kept a big wall around my heart. Afraid of being hurt again has kept me from living life to the fullest. The fat I carried was a way to protect myself from future hurts...so I thought. This transformation has helped me to open my heart up again. This week I will try to overcome this fear. Each week with my transformation I get a little closer. Kelly

That before photo had lots of fear behind it for many reasons from how I wanted it to go away to how others would percieve it. It took six weeks but I put it up there and as I experienced each day there after the weight of that fear lifted. I opened up more and released alot of the weight that held my soul and spirit down. Not my body weight but the heavy weight of deep down in my heart. As for today...I use a quote from Bill above...."Make no mistake, our world is changing faster than ever and as they say, the only constant right now is ever increasing change. We can respond to this by embracing the new challenges that change presents, or we can do the opposite: we can become overwhelmed by it all and lock up. The old me would have come home from Iraq knowing and feeling my experiences and allowing the overwhelming pieces lock me down. Pull me away. However I look at my self every day in my mirror and I remind myself that I am more than that. I am not perfect and I do experience some of the things that being away for awhile and living in a different set of conditions can afford....for example....something little...... I was in my car today and a spider was crawling up my leg....now that wouldnt be so bad especially considering that I have spider bites all over my body from my last trip....but for some reason this morning my heart almost jumped out of my chest. My heartrate jumped.....However I pulled the car over, rolled the window down and just focused on where I am and what I was experiencing.....I know your thinking that may be a rather odd story or occurance but it just happened so there it is. I dont fear the challenges that lie ahead and present today. I am a stronger guy today because of my work here and I am putting it to good use each and every day as I integrate back home and at work :O) I am blessed to be alive and well to share and tell the stories from my journey with you. Stay strong and be well. Kevin

Bill, Thank you very much for this challenging yet powerful assignment. As I think of the fear I have overcome so far in the challenge was opening up and showing people who I a really am. When I was a boy I was always kind, smile a lot and easily shared my love for people. However, I grew up in a house full of boys and a father who had difficulty expressing himself with anything other than a temper, and abuse. I was made fun of by my brothers as being weak and called me a girl on a number of occassions. I started hiding the way I expressed myself towards people in fear I would be judged wrongly. In my 13 weeks in the challenge my posts and blogs are starting to contain my true emotions, feelings without fear of rejection or hurting someone. I really enjoy loving my fellow man, woman and offer a kind word, love, support or whatever it may be....A fear I will work to overcome in the next seven days will be my fear of opening up completely to my wife and chiildren. I have done so slowly in 13 weeks, but I plan to really be concious of what I say and how I act. A mentor has provided me some great information to help me in doing that. It will take consistency and humility, but I will be able to start giving of the real me to my family. I was afraid I didn't deserve my family and therefore put up a barrier. I have learned I must take responsibility for what I deserve and make it happen if that is what I want.....~~Derek

Well, If I face my fear head on (and I didn't realize till now it was a fear) that would be, that people would find out the truth. That I haven't been very successful in this Transformation. Do to different challenged in my life, I haven't been able to keep up on the exercises like I wanted. I have read through all of the assignments. I have even posted my before pics, but I can't even put up current ones, because I haven't changed. I am so frustrated with myself. I am saddened as Is I sit here and have to admit this. I feel like such a failure. I always feel like I need to be in control of everything in my life and yet I never feel like I am. I am so tired. I feel like am running just to catch myself. I know I need to stop this vicious cycle, but I don't know how. I've grown up in church all my life and heard this a 1000 times, but I probally just need to let go and let God take total control. I just haven't. I say I do, but in reality I haven't. I keep trying to get my life "just right". I'm trying to get my health in line, my marriage, my children and home schooling, my business up and running, and then all the other odds and ends in tact. I know I'm no different than anyone else as far a s busy schedules, I guess I just must use it as an excuse or something. I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid of letting go. I love encouraging and helping other people, but I feel so awful cuz I can't even inspire myself to get going. I'm afraid of the people that I am accountable to on transformation, that they will give up hope on me. I feel like I'm past all hope as I have continually failed over and over again. I keep thinking that if I just finish this course that I will eventually be able to show them that I was worth their time and effort they put into me.

Fear of the unknown is something I just recently faced. My husband has a business trip end of this month and I was seriously paralyzed with making a decision to go with him. First come the excuses of all the arrangements for my kids, house, dogs, etc...but then I had the fear of Mount Redoubt. It has erupted 20 times in the last few weeks, the airport has been shut down completely at different times, flights cancelled, travelers stranded in state and outside. We got a light coating of ash at our house one day but it was covered by snow the next. It's an uncertain worry. My fear of so many "what ifs" made me afraid to make the committment to go on the trip with my husband. But I overcame it by trusting that all will be okay, what is meant to be is meant to be and if I didn't go I would be missing out on fun, great opportunities. PLUS I'd have to be insane to not want to go somewhere warm and sunny when I am still looking at snow out my window! So reservations have been made and I have an extra 1/2 day planned by the pool! :) The Fear I really need to face is expressing how I really feel to my mom, dad & sister. It's long and complicated but I have endured all of their problems for so many years. I walk on egg shells it seems like watching what I say so I don't upset any of them. I keep things very superficial to avoid saying what I really feel. My sister a recovering meth addict, my Dad and his PTSD & my mom being an alcoholic. My mom's drinking is really difficult for me even with her over 3,000 miles away it does not make it any easier. I've learned to protect my environment by not calling her past certain times of the day or accepting phone calls from her. But that isn't always a guarantee...the other day I had to tell her I couldn't talk anymore. I could tell she was ready to cry and I just couldn't deal with it. I know that sounds horrible, but she has no interest in ever quitting drinking and doesn't seem to care about how it has impacted me all these years. I had conversations with her years and years ago about her drinking but she just continues. My first real memories of her drinking being a problem was when I was 9 years old. Almost 30 years now. It's incredibly sad to me. I'm not sure if I can conquer this fear in 7 days. But I will make a point to work towards it and maybe start by writing a letter to my mom....

PS-update - yes, I'm headed for shoulder surgery. What a fantastic challenge I've been given. I will not stop - I WILL NOT! Johnnie

I'm ready with the next fear.Number two is:Fear of rejection by a publisher.I'm a writer.and rejection is part and parcel of a writer's life.I had a piece rejected by a publisher(magazine article)years ago and it stopped me dead in my tracks!!!!! Now,I'm working on a mystery for Harlequin.I'm ready to start typing and will be doing so next week.My fear of rejection has stopped me long enough!!!! RUSTY:)

I suffered from years of abuse at the hands of a rageaholic Mother. I was beaten, locked in closets and screamed at constantly. As I grew up I was fearful of everything. I didn't attempt anything hard or anything that would stretch me. I found comfort in the arms of nice, calm women and food and alcohol to numb my senses from the fear. I spent almost 3 decades of my life not living. I started to come out of my shell and expand my thinking and started facing my fears. I slowly but surely became fearless. I rode bulls, leaped my motorcyle like Evil Knevil, I drove like a madman and soon came to a point where I didn't care about life or people or what they thought of me. I had become what I thought was a man's man. But my machismo was just a defense mechanism for facing my fears. I had swung way too far the other way. Being fearless is one thing, but to be fearless to the point where you damage other peoples lives with your wrecklessness is really dumb. i did it for several years under the guise of fearlessness. Trouble is that I was not seeing the real fear. that one was the fear of trusting people to know me and love me. My fear was no one would love me if they knew who I really was. I kept everyone at arms length. I had a fear of rejection...As I grew out of all of that and started allowing people in, I found out that I wasn't such a bad guy after all and people werent going to reject me because i was what I considered a loser. I found that people saw me as someone they trusted, which was kinda scary in itself, but as my ministry grew I realized that God could use a scared, shell shocked little boy who had grown uo to be a mean and callous jerk. I just had to find that balance by letting go of the fear of rejection and the fear that I would be judged. I believe I can say i live a balanced life now. I have healthy fears...Kinda like the one I had not too long ago of getting kicked off of this site and losing all my Tfriends...I had to make the healthy adjustment that fear of loss was pointing out...Fear can be a guide to change you for the better as well as make you cower in the corner. I like to examine fear and allow it to warn me of where I need to go, but not stop me or slow me from experiencing lifes joy and the times God wants to stretch me.. The Word of God says that the beginning of wisdom starts with the fear of God....I want to be fearless, but also wise...Knowing I have to answer to God and that He has already taken my fears of death away makes me a whole man in my opinion...Life is meant to be lived without fears but with a balance that pleases God...

I don't know if I should express my experience publically, because I don't know how to put it into words. My fear was that I would lose control and be vunerable to harsh judgment, by loving another man before the divorce from my husband was final. I was also afraid of being seriously wounded again and had even made a decision to never love again. Then, tonight, I touched the hand of God. I am astonished, vunerable and frightened. I never responded to a man like I did tonight. I transcended time and space, and it wasn't his technique or the skill of his hand; it was the place I followed him to. It was more real, more tangible, more encompassing than any reality I have ever known. I was a guest in the house of God. I've read about this experience in various cultural contexts. I've tried to imagine the experience; but this went beyond what I could have thought or imagined. I can't find words in my vocabulary to describe it. It permeated me and carressed me to the core of my being. I will never be the same. I don't think I could duplicate it. It was by invitation only. The death and resurrection of my reality. Nirvana. Irresistable love.

Okay...take two. I did this once, but didn't sign in first and lost it all. The fear...rather one of the fears I have faced was not wanting to tell anyone what I was doing. If nobody knows, there is no pressure and if I fail, nobody will know that either. When my boss noticed I was losing some weight, I told him about everything...assignments and all. It felt so good to tell him. I am no longer hiding my efforts. I have told several people now and am accepting support and encouragement. In the next week I will face my fear of the "free day"! I am so all or nothing that the thought of eating unauthorized foods terrifies me. I don't want to crave the carbs again! I fear losing my focus and momentum. I have not taken a free day yet. I am working, right now, on changing my beliefs of the free day and reminding myself that it is NOT a "free-for-all" day, but a day to relax and enjoy something I have wanted. Thank you, Bill, for these assignments! I appreciate the self confrontation you inspire. God bless you!

Bill, You have such a great way of expressing yourself to others. As a teacher I continue to strive to motivate others. You have come so far in your transformation in what you do daily to motivate others. As always, I appreciate all you do. kennie

I have read this through and will be working on it soon!! Thank you so much!! =)

Bill, I have lived the past nine years in fear. It started with the fear of cancer in my left knee back in August of 2000 after starting the Body-for-life Challenge. The doctor found a tumor behind my knee cap. Thank god it was not cancerous. The only thing that kept me going and face my fear was the challenge. Then in 2003 I was diagnosed with ulcerated colitis and again faced with the fear of cancer. After 2 years and threats of removing my Colan or it becoming Cancerous, I quit worrying about it and decided to just get on with my life. Again in 2008 I started to have problems with my left knee again. The pain brought back the memories of the tumor. The fear of cancer again came back. I was relieved that it wasn't cancer and I needed a total knee replacement. I was told that the break in my leg when I was 14 grew back crooked and caused my knee to wear out. In January 2009 I decided to take the Transformation Challenge to over come the knee problem and to regain the strength I lost due to the operation and get my life back on track. Then fear struck again. I started to have problems and went to a urologist and after a series of test was told that I have a cancer in my bladder and maybe in one of my kidney's. So now I face the fear of how much, how bad and what can be done. I have been faced with the fear of cancer so many times and now that it is a reality I'm not sure how I will handle the results of the CT scan on Friday when I see the doctor on Monday. Then and only then will I know the extent of damage the cancer has done and if it has spread to any other parts of my body. Then I will be able to face the fear that has haunted my for so long. I know I can fight this fear with the help of family, the transformation community , through exercise and nutrition. The transformation has become my reason to overcome my fear and if God is willing I will complete my transformation and become the "Hero" I want to be and once again conquer this "Fear." John

Im a type A personality which generally means I could be a pain the butt! I have been with my wife for 4 years. As all of us married folks know, adjustments need to be made when living with someone. Now my fear was I didnt want to push all of my ways on my wife in fear that it would cause problems. Issues ranging from the way we should handles finances to how the house should be cleaned. I allowed certain things to go down without really voicing my opinion because up until I met my wife, I was so stubborn in my ways, it was hard to meet someone that I felt I could stay with. I kind of bought myself down a few notches by going about things this way. Even when my wife would ask me if something was wrong I would tell her no, even though I was really annoyed about something. Since I started this transformation, I decided its time to be me again . I had a talk with my wife, and told her exactly how I am and how we can work together, and if we get into a fight, so be it. We will get over it. I never felt more comfortable since I had that talk with my wife. Deep down, I discovered that I was like that the whole time because I was afraid to lose her in which she responded, "Dont be rediculous" Another fear I am tackling, is the fear of not being in control. I dont mind being spontanious, but overall, I need order. I need to have a plan for the day, and I go about things in peticular ways in which are structured. Basically, I need to learn to chill out. I have a very outgoing personality, and love to laugh. Alot of friends would tell you I dont have a care in the world. But thats only because I dont like to push my ways on other people. If something is bugging me, I usually keep it to myself.

Wow, I got lots of fears that where conquered during my current transformation. Like the one where I wouldn't make it the 12 weeks much less the full 18, and here I am primed for freeday of week 13 tomorrow. Probably the big fear that I'm most proud of conquering is the Vacation or the Change in routine possibility. We recently went back home, and had the change of routine and lots of temptation. First we didn't have our Gym access, we had my mom, who if you tell her your on a diet, she'll load up with tons of non-healthy stuff and tell you it's ok if you have some. And there's all the people who wanted to go out to eat. With all that going on, my Wife and I stayed true to our proper eating routine. We Ran outside or popped in a Tae Bo tape. We Uncovered my old weight set in my mom's garage. So, now I know there's no reason to break our program. There's always a way to adapt. My big fear, and I still have many, is that I have a fear of the end of the transformation. I look at the latest pics I posted, and I can definately see an improvement from day 0 to week 11. But, I've been here before. So, I'm worried that there will be an end to this. I want to keep up this lifestyle forever. But like I've said, I've been here before and then I quit. So, my other fear is that I can't resolve that fear in 7 days, but on the otherhand, this is the longest I've stuck with any program, so maybe I already conquered it. Who knows, right? Just a side note, I have a fear of heights, but I try to ignore it. Fore example, I had to climb up on the roof to paint a spot on the house, and I could feel the fear, and I had to have my wife coach me on where the ladder was when I tried to get down, but I had a strong feeling of terror, and thoughts that I was stuck, and a little part of my brain was telling me to jump down. I had to calm myself and quit thinking and listen to my wife's directions.

In this process, I have been working on many fears. It is difficult to pinpoint one that I have overcome. I don't know that I have completely overcome a fear which is tied to my beliefs. I am still working on these. I think that I have definitely overcome the fear that my body won't work and that during my workout my body is weak. During my workouts when I am reaching for the ten, I replace the I can't with I can and I feel and believe that I am so powerful and my body does work. For so long my body didn't work and I haven't trusted it so I didn't even try. It has taken a step by step process to build the confidence in myself and overcome the fear that my body won't work. It feels great to hit those tens. Another fear that I will confront is the fear that I am a loser. As I am setting goals and even as I do my workouts, i am still confronted with the I can't do it coupled with I don't deserve it, so why try.

Below I wrote that the first I overcame was the fear of telling people I have an eating disorder when I started t.com in Oct. Next week, my sister is moving back from India, and she might need to stay with me some if she doesn't stay with my parents. I have a fear with letting her stay here though because I like to stick to a routine- I wake up at 5am, meditate, workout, get ready for the day, go to work, relax after work for a minute, go to meetings, then get ready for the next day. My sister does not go by any kind of plan or structure like that. Although she is nine years older, she just kinda lives day to day without planning ahead much. I am afraid of my routine (which brings me peace) being messed up, but that is selfish now that I think about it. I am going to invite her to stay here if she wants, but I will just communicate how important my quiet time in the morning is and how I have a routine I like to stick to.

That whole scenario boils down to my fear of having my routine disrupted. It is ok for days not to go EXACTLY as planned sometimes, so I need to just deal with how it feels to do something different sometimes. I will sit through the fear of having to adjust my routine this week. I'll invite my sis to stay with me if she wants =)

To me, fear and worry are equal and feed each other. My grandmother gave me the nickname of worrywart when I was little. I must have always been a worrier and lived my life in fear. I married an entrepreneur with never ending ideas. I was the person who can take the ideas and make them into a business. We have always been a good team in marriage and business, but I always feared the next day, the next surprise, the what if's. Our last business venture was a five year research, development, and implementation of a business that had never been done before. It was a five year struggle. My son and daughter, both college graduates helped us start this business and work through the five years. This last year, we sank. The business was ready to franchise and the lending tanked. I worked 7 days a week 16 hours a day taking care of my invalid husband and being in charge of creative thinking to continue to bring income in for my daughter and my son 28 & 30 now. We did a great job, but it was difficult to face the day. I worried if we were going to have paychecks for them and then for us. I worried about my husband, and a few times I almost ran away, but couldn't leave what I had started. I was scared to stay and scared to leave. We as partners agreed that if we were going to make a change in the business, we had to all be on board. We were a team and worked as business people during the day not as family. We all worked hard. On the last leg of the company, we had a meeting. My daughter, the most intragal part of the business came with her thoughts of enough is enough, my son came with the idea that "we can do it" let's keep going, my husband desperate at 62 for us to keep going and me with an open mind to whatever made since. Once the meeting was underway, my daughter started crying and said she didn't want to let us down, but she wanted to let it go. She sat on the couch crying like she was 6 years old. I was exhausted from the five year fight to stay alive and my son said, "no we can't". We have to keep going. We were a one for all and an all for one. With one of us missing, we didn't have a business. I looked at my daughter, looked at my son who had the fear of moving beyond and I looked at my husband having fear of being washed up. I was the deciding factor. I felt with the life I had missed in five years and us just making it that I had to side with my daughter and we needed to let it go. My son was scared, my husband was scared, my daughter felt she let us down and I felt relieved. At that moment, God took my fear away from me. He took the worry and I decided that we would all take what we learned from this experience and make our future our own. My son is now in his master's program, my daughter is teaching ball room dancing (her love) and getting ready to plan for her and her husband's first baby (not preg yet), my husband landed a job that keeps us going and allows me for the first time since I was 13 to not work. It will be short lived, but it gives me the opportunity to work on myself before God leads me to my next venture. Fear - Worry = Healthy Concern. I don't fear anymore, I don't worry. I do have healthy concerns and have learned to tackle them head on and be diligent. We might lose our home of 10 years and I call the mortgage company everyother day. One day the girl on the phone said "you're different than most of our callers" You aren't mad. I told her that I can't worry or be mad about something that I can't control. My family is almost worried that I am not worrying. I am definitely not apathetic, but a healthy concern is nothing more than an obstacle and we all know we can hurdle obstacles. I think current living is a comfort zone. During this process, I have realized that we will always change and change is not necessarily bad, change can be good. I'm concerned about the state of our government, but God has his hand in it and even if the worst happens, we will all deal with it. My biggest concern right now is that my skin fills up with muscle so when I lose my weight that I won't look like an old lady. My other concerns are daily obstacles. Bill helped me with obstacles years ago on BFL. He said, "make a list of the things you need to do and then put the ones you absolutely do not want to do first and get them out of the way". This is something I've never forgotten and if you do the worst things first, overcome the biggest fears first, the next things on the list are actually enjoyable to do because they don't cloud your mind. If you do the easy and fun things first, the hard things, the things you don't want to do, the things you procastinate at doing are in the back of your mind talking to you, bugging you and ruining the things that you really want to do. I adopted that practice and it has been the biggest help in overcoming obstacles ever.

The fear I have overcome so far has been the fear of reaching out to the community but not being accepted or feeling part of it. I feared that it wouldn't be 'for me'. That I wouldn't fit in with the group or that my opinions and input wouldn't be valued. I guess it's the fear of rejection. This has certainly gone away. My experiences so far have convinced me that I can and should contribute and be a part of group. And that I benefit also just by being in a group and learning from others. Over the next week, I want to start to release my fear of connecting with others. I want to be more open and let relationships go where they will go - instead of being anxious or controlling about trying to create a certain outcome. This is letting go of my fear of feeling for others. Thinks fell a bit locked-up in this regard. I want to let it go.

The biggest fear that I have conquered is the fear of "The Free Day". When I did the challenge before I was never comfortable to eat what I really loved because of the feelings it gave me and it would drag me into the dungeon of despair (which I ended back at eventually) that I was trying to leave. I do not go crazy but the free day is nice because of the lack of planning it takes-I eat what I want in moderation and I walk that evening with my wife Christi. My biggest fear is the posting of my picture but my goal is to post it as part of this assignment. I took a picture of myself this week-Should I post that pic along with my new measurements? My goal is to 215, lower blood sugar, and lower blood pressure by January 1, 2010. Any suggestion from anyone?

I was really afraid to write my first blog and to this day want to delete it. Want to take it all back. The idea of being put "out there" on the internet and letting other people know, terrifies me. I know this sounds silly. My recent assignment Marty gave me (a week ago) was to write my fears to him about my first blog and send it to him. I haven't done that yet. So thats what I'm going to do is confront this fear. Guess you have to start where your at or should I say "stuck at." So Marty my email is on it's way to you shortly....however silly it sounds. :)

I started my transformation in January, but after three or four weeks of good progress eating right and exercising I began to give in to old habbits. One thing I realized since then was the tremendous fear I had of telling people I was trying to eat right. I live in the south where its a rare social eating situation not to see people eating something fried or soaked in sugar. When I eat right I stick out like a soar thumb and people ask me why I'm not eating the fried chicken, sweet tea, french fries, pizza, etc. Since I started giving into old habbits again in late January or early february I would eat right when it was convienient but when I was around groups of people that were eating bad I woudl eat bad too so I would fit in. After Bill's radio show a couple weeks ago on fear, I realized that I was afraid of telling people I was trying to better myself by eating right. Every since then I have been back on track and have had to tell people in multiple awkward situations that I am trying to eat right. As for the fear Im going to face now....I need time to think about it. : )

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.” thanks bill !

Bill, Excellent assignment...I have struggled to overcome fear throughout my life. The fear of acceptance by others, the fear of losing and the fear of success. Last week I almost backed out of attending the first New England Get-Together. It was attended by 10 other wonderful people who I had never met. I had never done a spin class before and didn't want to look silly doing it. I wanted my wife to come along and she was apprehensive about going with me. We decided to go and had the best time. As a matter of fact, my wife Kay (KAYO) has decided to become part of the Transformation Community and had her before shot taken and loaded here on line today. She is offically part of the program now which is great. This all happened because I decided to follow through and overcome that fear of the unknown. This week I am going to face my fear of completing my assignments. I have been afaid that I would not know what or how to complete them. To face myself down and be true to who I am and what I feel. I realize that whatever I do, and whatever honest effort I put forth to complete them, that they will are a part of me and who I am. Many thanks Bill for your leadership and courage. Dennis

Great assignment Bill!!!! I posted on our team's thread what my fear was.My fear is relationships.I was in a controlling relationship several years ago.And the sad thing is that he blamed my family.He betrayed me in the worst way possible.I haven't had a relationship with a man since because I've been afraid to try.But now,thanks to Transformation and the gentle encouragement of a friend,I'm beginning to reach out again.My next fear is--------hmmmmmm------I'll have to think about that one!!!!! RUSTY:)

My fear is pride. I remeber after high school I got a gym membership cause at the time I was thinking about joining the military. I remember doing squats when this guy and his girlfriend were doing them as well right by me. He had maybe at the most 205lbs on the bar and he thought he was tuff stuff. I did my little warm up that I learn training in high school, and the my pride or what ever it was took over. I felt like I had to make him look small. I threw on the bar 405lbs and did a set of twelve. then I threw on some more weight and did a set of 8. They were looking at me and I knew I had just belittled him in front of his women. He did that one set and he took off, I never saw him again. Well I reaped what I sowed. When I started the transformation challenge i decided to start out with lower body, those are my fav's to do. I started with 205lbs. I went down and it felt like I ripped my butt cheek. Then a young me came beside me. He didn't hesitate to make me look small. He put 425lbs and cranked them out like no tomorrow. I did one more set and then I went home. My pride had gotten me again. Bill I'm leaving it here with you. We all got to start somewhere. I know some day during my challenge I too will crank out 400lbs again. I will not give up on my goals cause of sorry pride. I will look it head on then I will run over it. Please people that are starting the challenge, DO NOT LET PRIDE HOLD YOU BACK. -Checo

A fear I have overcome is being afraid that I was too our of shape to be able to run. I wouldn't say I love running just yet but each week as I prepare to run a 5K in May I find I like it more and am no longer suprised as the time intervals increase that I can do thins. A fear I can work on this week is my fear of heights. There are a couple of things around the house needing done that require climbing a ladder so I'll take care of those this week.

One thing I have confronted is my fear of heights. I went wall climbing a couple of times now. Ihaven't fully overcome this but the more I do it, the less challenging it will become. One fear that I am confronting this week is interviewing for a job that is about 2 hours from my house- I'm considering relocating for the right position. I raised my son all these years and he just turned 19 last week and is in college. I built my house where I did so he could be around his grandpa (other side of the family) and we lived here for about 8 years. Now that my son is grown- I can venture out in the world. I love where I live and don't plan to sell the house just yet, but want to explore the possibility of going somewhere- even if that means getting an apartment and coming back home on the weekends for now. Since we live in a small community it is difficult to find a well-paid position that fits with my education level and passions, so I am willing to take the risk to be successful and to see more of the world.

Bill I love that you give such clear concise directions that are so easy to follow and that this assignment allows us to see where we have experienced progress and it also challenges us with a goal and a specific deadline of 7 days. One of the fears that I have overcome during this process was that there really was someone valuable and strong, smart, kind, caring and loving under all those layers of fat. As I was going through the process of removing all that weight I was very fearful that the end result would not be as amazing as I dared to dream. I realized of course that fear was just another abyss in my life and making and keeping those daily promises that helped me reconstruct my character and esteem, consistently following a good nutritional and excercise plan, doing the assignments and being open to the process, being teachable, accepting guidance, using future vision, setting goals and deadlines and constantly challenging myself to excel. I slowly and methodically built (became) the Shane that I had envisioned and the fear was removed as I proved to myself that I was doing it on a daily basis. The fear that I will confront within the next 7 days or sooner (and it will be sooner MONDAY) is that I will always be disorganized. "You can't be organized and live in a disorganized place. " You cannot choose Tranformation for just one area of your life." I have been trying... ahh I see the problem...trying to become organized and clean up our home and our finances and I am realizing that instead of employing a daily plan and working that plan, I have been putting in effort here then there and the result is that my progress is spotty and not well defined. I see the need to start at the beginning and push right through the entire "mess" and set some goals, make a deadline, work a plan and I am well aware that my fear will be replaced with success in this area as well. I just love the process I feel better already. Now to the task.

This couldn't come at a better time for me in my Transformation! The past couple weeks I have become clearly aware of my fears. I can FEEL the fear and it gets stuck in my chest.. it is paralzying.. I passed this feeling off my entire life as just part of what I had to feel. I did NOT know the difference! I'm 56 now and am finally discovering that I CAN be FREE and I CAN encounter my fears and I CAN be rid of this feeling in my chest. EASY?.. I should say not but the FEEL GOOD part... When I do FACE MY FEARS.. it's LIBERATING!! I breathe deeper when I confront fear. In my Journal is this quote by Mark Twain "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." Today, I am going to embrace my fears and use them as a wakeup call to flash the "courage" sign my way!.. :) Thank you Bill for this, it comes at the perfect time for me... Love and Blessings, Kathleen

My fear is divorce. I've been married 22yrs and i'm stuck and don't know what to do first. I signed up for the challenge back in Jan. and I'm just stuck. I went to the gym one time since then. The sad think about it is that I know what to do it's just doing it. i don't know what is holding me back. Help......

Great exercise Bill. I actually "put myself out there" last week with the 21 day challenge (http://www.transformation.com/forum/transformation-central/9164-21-days-who-will-join-me.html). I confronted the fear of declaring a goal in front of a bunch of people...A BIG ONE with the possiblity of failure...not looking good on the line! I did it, then my internal voice attacked me -- my complection went to crap as I allowed the fear and stress to build and then the "Phoenix bird" appeared from the ashes! I really have been blessed by this community and their goals that they are taking on over the next 21 days! Looking good...what a cripling issue in my life!

The fear I have already overcome was allowing myself to FEEL love and experience the beauty of FEELING it. For so many years when my husband would extend a compliment I would shoot it down with reasons why I believed it was not correct. One day he stated to me, “Honey, how can I love you when you don’t love yourself?” That was a powerful moment for me – a truth I had to face. Through hard work and life coaching I was able to one day open up completely and be VUNERABLE to the FEAR that once paralyzed my ability to love me. That moment is very special to me and today I remember it vividly and cherish the feelings that I felt for my husband and myself for the first time in my life – a beautiful gift to myself – to FEEL! I was afraid to completely be honest with my fellow Transformation.com family. Stoney did an exercise that left me almost breathless and I had to face the fact that in order to be true to myself and those I am engaging in with this journey – honesty of my path that lead me to here was going to be hard to do. Facing the fear head on and embracing the truth of the journey. I have done that in my blog (http://www.transformation.com/WisdomCMT/blog/FEELINGS/Taking-Responsibility-Coach-Stoney-Style/30535) and faced my ultimate fear of being judged as so many of us have experienced or even participate in within our society. I am released of that fear and so proud to say that today I WALK THROUGH THE PROCESS of FEAR and I FEEL EVERYDAY!

A fear i overcame is just posting my before picture. I still have anxiety over having it out there. A fear i am working on is the fear of putting real issues, problems, feelings on a forum like this. Doing something like this just goes against the grain of anything I've ever done before. But I know what I was doing before wasn't working so I have decided it is worth the angst. I can't say I have overcome the fear yet, just dealing with it.

This is excellent!!!!!!! I have downgraded from a fear filled flyer to a reluctant flyer in recent years...I so relate to that. I finally realized, if God wants me, he knows where to find me, plane or no plane. Generally now the take off gets the grip on the seat arms going. ;) That is not one of the fears I've overcomed during the challenge though. I've faced the fear of taking inventory on my "locked down" dark closet inside that held the worst of my life...and forgave. Just opening the door was very scary. Now the door is off the hinges and there IS no closet for any more storage! One huge one for me, that miraculously disappeared once I let the sun blast it with light, was the fear I've carried each school day...yes, since "pre K" began over 9 years ago, after dropping off my kids in the morning. I referred to it in a blog as "The Dread" and it would be this fear of the other shoe hitting the floor...waiting all day long to hear from the school. Was it a natural fear? Yes and no. Yes, because with a young boy with so many issues that manifested behaviourally, it's natural to fear that next phone call and meeting with a principal. No, in the sense, as frequent (and I mean frequent!) as the calls and "events" were, they did not occur every day. Since beginning the challenge and getting to take inventory on my life, I recognized that fear I'd lived with for so long, understood that it was stealing joy from each day, and acknowledged it. Poof! It was gone. What a miracle to me!!! I just love what I am learning and have seen evidence of since 1.1.09!! Okay, a fear to overcome and look square in the eyes today? I have some fear of allowing myself to completely embrace the desire to succeed. I realized this before, but only now can put it into words that make me understand it. I've been in situations where I've given my all and it wasn't good enough, so then I learned, if I hold a little back, then I can be "in control" of the WHY, when my efforts are not good enough and it doesn't hurt so badly if I fail. Wow...I have learned enough here to know that, it doesn't matter to me like it has historically. When I look at those words and read how silly it is, it makes me want to reject thoughts of holding back. I think my fear is a natural human fear, but not one that I want to carry or for even a moment attempt to justify. That's not how I want to live my life!! My philosophy has always (in my head) been to "leave it all on the field"...it's what I teach my children...give everything in you, holding nothing back. Now it's time to really see that philosophy in action and I never dreamed how hard it would be to let go of that 3 or 4 % that I have clung to. Here's to giving 100% of myself (people always say 110%, but honestly all I've got is 100% to work with, right?). I will set aside this fear and become vulnerable to the thought that "hey, maybe it won't be good enough, but because it's ALL that I have, like the widow's mite, it is BEAUTIFUL and something that I can celebrate"!!! When the buzzer sounds, I want to walk off the "field" knowing that every ounce of heart, soul, and effort was spent...for the sheer joy of how it feels to hold NOTHING back!!! I want that!!!

Oh my goodness, Bill...This week, I have been alternating between a blubbering mess of fear and a rock hard superhero. 1. My fear of being in public. I have a lengthy blog on the topic called fearful and floundering, but after I wrote it I went to the New England Meet and Greet, and was accepted with open arms. I know that I can go out there and be myself and people will accept and love me for who I am. 2. A fear I am working on right now is the fear of being on the phone. I run my own real estate business and the prospecting portion scares the life out of me. I will work on this in the next 7 days by taking advantage of the time my office sets aside for making calls. I'll report my progress in a week. ~~Jen

I was concerned about reading assignment 15 before I even had assignment 1 completed. My biggest fear is that my life will end I will not have done everything in life that I wanted. I want to own a home in Colorado, I want to be able to run at least a half marathon, I want to be able to get dressed for a big night on the town and feel comfortable in my own skin, I want to earn the right to meet Bill Phillips and thank you for being a powerful force in my and everyone's lives. I want to do something so powerful and wonderful for other people like Bill has done for us...like you all do for me. I want to be genuinely 100% happy. I could go on, but it gets back to my fear...my fear that I could leave this Earth tomorrow and none of that has been done. I know the first step is heading to the gym after I write this, completing assignment one and getting down to business. Thank You Bill everything!! Hugs, Jill

Bill, thank you for continuing to challenge us! It's exciting and honestly, painful. Growth ain't cheap.. 1 fear I have addressed: Letting go of my perceived control of my youngest child and allowing her to grow on her own. Actually letting go of of controlling anything concerning my kids was a fear for me. I have to explore why having control has been such an issue for me....AH, a new challenge! 2 - what I will begin working on this week. Fear of rejection by peers. I am attending 2 networking meetings this week and introducing my businesses. I will be practicing my elevator speech this weekend. I will make certain to be well prepared, dressed well and will remember it is not about me, it is about the people I meet and helping them. This is big stuff for me and feels a bit overwhelming as I write it. Thanks for your nudges Bill!

My fear was not being able to finish something I started. I’ve done a challenge and got as far as 10 weeks and quit just because I was happy with where I was and also the fear of comments from friends who I wasn’t sure were behind me in my process based on what they said to me. This time I didn’t listen to what anyone had to say. I stayed focused and finally completed the 12-weeks of Body-for LIFE on March 29. I’m starting my second challenge on Monday, April 6 and this time my goal is to be able to run on the treadmill. I have such a fear that I’m going to fall and go flying off the machine. I can do everything else on it but run. I’m also not much of a runner overall. Not even when I was on the Track & Field team in high school 30 or more years ago. I was on the relay team so I could do 100 yards but I still wasn’t as good as most runners. So that’s it, I’m going to be running by the time summer 2009 gets here and who knows, perhaps a 5K is soon to follow. Thanks Bill!

Thank you for this Blog Bill. I loved the radio show on Thursday about this and wrote a poem in response because it was so powerful to me and so timely! Fear (Fleep everything and Run!) has become translated to Faith (Face All Including This & Heal) more in these last 10/18 weeks than in the last 10 years of my life. For two of those years, I have co-moderated a support group on another forum specifically for helping people overcome panic disorder. There's a book my daughter sent me called "Overcoming Panic" which gives daily exercises in helping with it and our group made greats strides with it. I wrote to the authors and with their permission was allowed to quote passages from the book and reproduce their exercise charts. But the bottom line in the book and in cognitive-behavioral therapy, as my daughter has explained, is that by challenging your fear, you are making it smaller. She does this with clients. Those who have phobias to spiders to example, who enter the therapy, are introduced to bigger and bigger spiders until finally they are able to have a big (non-poisonous!) spider crawl on them. My daughter had to work on this fear herself! But it's one of the most powerful breakthroughs in clinical psychology. I'm going to send your blog to my daughter and her team -- they're going to be so thrilled to see it because it's exactly right. Challenging fears makes the fears die. It works. I did this and was able to get back out to work at a highly stressful 60-hour a week job after being confined to my house for years. So I know this works. To answer your question, a fear I have overcome is posting my before photos. It took me from May 2008 when I joined to January 2009! But it was extremely empowering and freeing to do it. A fear I'm going to work on this week is walking outside alone around my neighborhood -- nothing wrong with my neighborhood either, just with my fear. I'll challenge this every day for the next seven days.

I guess a fear that I have already tackled and overcome was the fear of weight training in public. I had never worked out before and always thought that people who "worked out / lifted weights" were wierd. (ha-ha-ha) I tackled that by joining a gym that had huge windows against the sidewalk of a main downtown street!!!! Before I saw this assignment, I had just posted my greatest fear on my blog entitled "OPEN LETTER TO MARTY---DAY 89"---Bob http://www.transformation.com/BobLorren/blog/

At age 63, my greatest fear has been losing my health. As with any self-fulfilling prophecy, I have gone from being a super active, I-can-do-anything person, to a scared, rapidly aging person. It seems that with one foot on either side of that mountain top - leaning toward the dark side, I finally said - it's now or never. And THAT began my T-journey. I can honestly say that after fearing and "what if-ing" it to death, I made the CHOICE to change. I decided to give it one more try - not just a try, but a DETERMINED try. I've done the exercise work, changed eating practices, worked through each assignment, and networked with the community. Now I can wake up knowing - KNOWING that another day of transforming will be a good day. My "pain" is now muscle burn, which is a good thing. My mobility is greatly improved, off one BP pill, (one to go) and the fear that I WILL live another 30 miserable years is, day by day, desolving into TRUTH - the truth that health is not just for others - it is my God-given right, and I can be a partner with God in creating and maintaining it. This reality has been LIFE CHANGING for me. Now, I actually WANT to live another 30 years! At least! The fear I will face this coming week, is related to health, actually. I'm waiting on the results of a shoulder MRI that might indicate surgery. I do NOT want to be derailed in this transformation process. The way I intend to face that, and am facing it, is to say - NO MATTER WHAT....I can still do lower body workouts and aerobics, even if the shoulder takes some healing time. Then I'll go again. And the internal transformation can make leaps and bounds during a forced recovery period, anyway. So, adversity is becoming opportunity. Yeah!!!! Thanks for the challenge to dig this one out, Bill. -- Johnnie --

Before I started this transformation my biggest fear in life was failure! Failure as a dad, failure as a husband, failure as a friend, and most of all failure to myself. I was always told by others that I would never amount to anything and told that I would never succeed. That was one of the hardest things I had ever dealt with growing up. I felt like I was loser and would never amount to anything ever. This brings me to the current chapter in my life, on December 15, 2008 I saw Bill’s Transformation site and sat there and watched all the videos and cried. I knew this is something that I need more than ever, I was afraid that I would die a young man from one of the many diseases that caught up to my dad. I went and signed up right away and said from this day on I will now change my life for the good. Fear of Failure was always in my mind but after I started doing the assignments I found the hardest one was the very 1st one posting my pictures for the world to see. But I learned something from that day on that I needed that to conquer my fears. I started working out with Fire in my heart and I have started transforming myself from the inside out. I have turned that Fear of failure into actions of success as I started losing the weight and building my strength starting with the inner soul I found that I can Be The Change! I won’t stop and will not let the words FEAR stop me ever again. I learned in the past 12 weeks that I am the one who controls my destiny and no one will ever stop me from reaching the top. I am on a pace to conquer all my past and bring out the best in my life. I want to make my wife and daughter so proud of me. I also want to be around for them for a long time. I am turning my Fear of Failure into all things positive and for the first time in my life. Thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for saving me by sending me to Bill’s site. I also thank my wife for standing beside me through this and I am becoming a better dad and husband then I ever thought possible. Fear will never conquer me again………..I will only accept a positive outcome……and most importantly the following………..I GET TO DO THIS FOR LIFE!!!! -John

This is actually one that has been bugging me for the past 2 months. When I go to the gym there are always guys there that are alot bigger then me and in alot better shape than me. My fear is what they will think of me if I hit the weights while they are there. I usually do my weights at home because I am afraid people will think I am a lightweight when I don't put up the big amounts like they are. I don't know why I care what they think but I have lost some good opportunity's at the gym because of it. I pledge to not care about what they think ( truth is they probably don't care) but I will break past this fear and not let the intimidation concern me. I will lift as much as I can and work from there. The fear I have already tackled was putting myself out on this website. I recieve threats at work almost everyday, threats against myself or my family. I had never opened up on a public forum before this. My wife has a myspace page and I told her not to talk about me or post any pics that I'm for fear of retaliation. I took a chance with this community and so far it has paid off 10 fold for me. Thanks to taking that first step I have grown tremendously in the past 3 months.

The fear that I did overcome is telling a teacher that I was sorry for some pain that I might have caused her. I had to go to her room and let her know that I was sorry and I that I handled a situation between us poorly. It was rather difficult. We cried a little and had a wonderful conversation about our kids after wards. I felt like a 100 pound weight was lifted off of my shoulders. My biggest fear I must overcome is knowing that I can be a father and a husband who can support his family. 5 years ago when my first son Ryan was in the womb, I was having panic attacks as to whether i could support this child and my wife. We always wanted her to be a stay at home Mom, but really questioned and doubted myself that I could support her and my children. I started a cabinetry business and I started working 70 to 90 hour work weeks. I ended up almost having a break down. I had to go on medicine called Zoloft. I would not be able to sleep at night. I felt like my heart would stop in the middle of the night and then I would get a racing heart rate and would have major panic attacks. Almost 5 years later, I am now realizing that my biggest fear is the one thing that I should not fear. It is the one thing that has been holding me back from becoming a better husband and father. Before coach Stoney and Mr. Phillips came out with this assignment, I have been internally working on it. I cannot tell you how much I have grown by facing this fear. I am at the point right now where my business is shutting down. I have robbed my children and my wife of what I think is this the greatest thing for them. ME! My time. How can I nurture and love my children if I am not around. How can I show my wife how much I love her by helping in the home if I am not around. My love for them has grown over the last tweleve weeks. I am learning that I can provide financially by just being a father and husband. I trust in God to provide and I know He will. People in my group and this community have really helped me to realize this. I have so much energy to give and I now have my time to give. I will be building my last kitchen this spring. I honor my commitments. I have turned down over 12 jobs since I have started this challenge. I will continue making wood pieces, but with my children. My son and I have built something for Mommy. Together we made a piece that will be a reminder of our love and I will remember each moment of that piece. It is taking us a while because we try to do it when Tyler naps. These are the moments and the time I want to be spending in my woodshop. Not spending time away from them, but with them. This is just the start of my transformation. I know more fears will surface and that will be addressed as I continue to transform. In my next challenge, it starts May 10th, I wonder how each of these assignments will play out. I don't feel my purpose will change, but the rest of the assignments will. What a wonderful process Mr. Phillip's has provided. I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for this spiritual awakening. In the woodshop being selfish I guess. This place is by far one of the greatest treasures I have ever found.

Great topic! I have a fear of standing out and getting too much attention and that people will envy, reject, or hurt me if I seem to be too successful or look too good! My second biggest fear right now is to lead the Zumba class for my teachers. I am going to lead it in a week!

Bill: I had just written this in another forum but it seems to fit perfectly here, so I will repeat myself with your permission. For years I have hated the fact I sold alcoholic beverages, a product that hurts people. I was scared to death to change my restaurant enough to let go of the right to sell alcohol because of the way I perceive society, it’s desires and needs. Just about anywhere you go out to dinner, and sit down at a table to be served, the option to have a glass of some kind of alcoholic beverage is available. I kept asking myself “what if...?” And the answer was always No; I’ll get my self in trouble. Or I will regret that I ever did that. Or some negative expression would be conceived in my head. Finally, On April first 2009 I wrote a letter that is being delivered to the State of Massachusetts stating that I am returning my license and right to sell any and all alcoholic beverages in my restaurant! This is a HUGE step for me personally. My business is going through a transformation of its own, along with me! Yes It is a Leap of Faith in a way. With the economic downturn across the nation as it is, many people are turning to alcohol and other items. Not me or my restaurant anymore! Bill, you said next, please identify and write down another fear that you will confront between now and this time next week. Simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of that I could let go of and overcome, which would allow me to move forward and make better progress in my transformation? I have a belief still that If I change drastically, my friends and loved ones will no longer be there with me. I know that sounds crazy to even say or think. But yet this thought is there. This makes me subconsciously slow down my change. But by typing that thought here and re-reading it to myself, I laugh inside. I know it’s not true, But there is a splinter of belief still there, and I have been chopping away at it with an ax!

I had 2 fears that I've overcome. The first one was when I got out of prison and got away from the gangs, I had a fear that they were going to come after me because I renounced them and wanted to live a better life, but when I gave it up totally and laid it at the Lord's feet and truly believe He was going to care for me, then I was able to move on from that fear, it no longer controlled me. My second fear I over came was the fear of my lower back. I always thought that if I pushed myself whether in exercising or just having fun that I would hurt myself even worse, but now going through my second challenge I have overcame that as well. I will not allow fear to control my mind or my body. I will keep moving forward. Thanks Bill that was very very deep.

One of the fears I have overcome is the fear of rejection. It manifested itself in so many ways. I would tell myself, "your opinion doesn't matter, what have you REALLY done with your life, look at you, you could have done SO much, what a loser, who would want to talk to you, your own family doesn't even like you, what a joke you are". All of these things were swimming around in my head. Since I have started my transformation, I have really examined and evicted these negative thoughts. I wouldn't even give people the chance to reject me, I would already do it for them in my mind. "Oh she doesn't really care, she's just trying to be nice. I wonder what she really thinks". I am glad to be rid of that negative person. It brings back bad memories, just to even discuss it. One fear I will confront this week, for the next seven days is....The fear of being thin. It scares me to death. I don't know how much of this I can or should post. But I am scared to death of it. I am afraid of the attention it would draw to me. I am afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it, the comments, the praise, the attention. I don't know how to let go of it, but I guess I have 7 days to figure out how. How will I overcome? I just don't know. Maybe it goes back to my old fears....I can't tell. This is the most open and honest I have ever been with anything. Sometimes our fears don't make much sense, but we still have to find a way to overcome. Thanks Bill, I will work on this over the next week. I will report on how I did..... xoxo, Terri

One fear I have faced since coming to T.com: Facing my old co-workers when I went to visit my son who is in jail, (The same jail that I was an Officer at for 10 years.) & going to court to support him. I had been petrified of court rooms ever since 1999 when I came to face to face with the murderers of my little sister. To be honest, I am still afraid of court, but I face the fear, feel it and go anyways. The fear I will confront & overcome this week : Getting into the (public!) pool at my gym for my workouts. (And I will do it 5 days next week!)

This assignment is so important. Early in my process I was stuck resisting and avoiding due to my fear to FEEL. I was so afraid to feel pain, hurt, anger, shame, etc., at a deeper level that I just avoided it. I say at a deeper level because I already was stuck in such an awful place feeling all those negative things I didn't want to feel even worse. The longer I resisted, the longer I stayed stuck. Through the assignments I learned to let go, feel and then let those feelings go through. As you mention, the more I practiced the better I got at recognizing my fears and then taking them on. Most recently I was able to overcome my lifelong fear of being out in open water far from land. As far as a current fear I am facing today....I can't think of one!!! I'm sure there is one, but right now there is not a single fear I am struggling with or at least that I am aware of. When one comes up, I will be back to share. Thank you Bill!

My fear? posting personal things here. I was afraid of being vulnerable with people I didn't know and even those I did. I was afraid of admitting flaws and being an open and honest human. In terms of what I can overcome by next week? Posting to the concealments thread. The things I have concealed from everyone.

When I first started this challenge, I had fear of success, fear of the ramifications of changing my body and life for good. I overcame that fear by turning my entire transformation to God and using my workouts as prayers to lift up to God, basically forgetting my ego reasons for doing this. I learned this from Denise and Marty! Thank you both! The next fear that I'd like to work on is fear of a person who rejected me by ending our engagement years ago. I think if I were looking and feeling my best, I wouldn't be afraid to see anyone on the planet. I am going to my 25th high school reunion on June 12th as a start, then maybe I'll be ready to face this person.

I love this assignment! I will be working on this...Janice

Okay! Baby steps!! A fear I have already overcome in this process - going to a gym with lots of windows and then working out on weight training days with lots of guys around!! This has been a major victory for me!! ~~~ Another fear that I will confront between now and this time next week. - Is shyness a fear? Facing it is!! Okay ... once I write it, I'm committed ... here goes! This week I will face my shyness when I am weight training by keeping my headphones off (easy to hide inside them) until I have exchanged words with at least one person who is working out - saying thank you is no problem, but saying hi, how are you? to at least one person is a stretch for this week!! Okay, one male person. Honestly, you guys aren't scarey!! I am not shy in all situations ... why here I have no idea!! But enough already!!

One fear I overcame was getting pregnant again after the full term loss of my daughter. It was one of the scariest times in my life. I now knew what "could happen". I was terrified. In the end my desire for another child was STRONGER than my fear. And I overcame. (not that the end result=living child was in my control, but I was willing to try again) Hey..I never thought about applying that to other areas in my life. Desire/wanting overcoming the fear. Next, my fear to overcome this week...hmm I need to think on it, I will be back.

Bill I was absolutely petrified of flying before coming to Transformation I flew anyway since my Transformation and it is so much better coming home from Hawaii I had about 30 seconds of thinking I was scared and it left Huge for me before when I walked in the plane I thought the seats were the electric chair. That bad!! I will report on part 2 later Have to think!!

I was afraid to reach out for help and tell people I had an eating disorder. But I did it anyways, and first I told Clarissa, then Bobby, then I felt comfortable with telling even more people...and now I'm recovered =)
I am going to meditate and write on a fear I can overcome in the next week, and I will post it this weekend.
Thanks for the assignment Bill!

I am absolutely paranoid of going under anesthesia for an operation. To me -from the 2 experiences in my life- it is like volunteering to be put to death by injection. I know it sounds bad but that is really how scared I am of it. I will be facing this real soon and as I get closer to the date I am thinking of the fear more and more. I will do it- although I will do it afraid. I have learned to do things afraid over the years and I've learned that fear only lasts for a short time when you dive into it!

Wow Bill great post and assignment i look forward to getting this done this week. It is a post I needed. Thank you..~~Derek

Thank you Bill that is beautful. I find myself going though this often. I get through some and then awhile later the fear comes back. I guess I need to put myself out there more to really overcome my fears. a great mentor and friend Robin Sharma always told me "On the other side of your fears lies your freedom. So true, but the act of doing it sometime is so scary. I have been pushing myself to get out there more and talk to people about my business (Which is a huge fear as I am fraid of what others think) I am getting better at this. And thinking I cant help people becuase I am over weight. Yesterday and today I posted to host a meeting in London for fellow Transformation challangers to get together and also made an event on Facebook with links to the transformation website for those who want to learn more and invite them out to learn and help others. This week my focus is to step out more and talk to people and helping others even when I struggle in the area myself. Love always Julieann

Fear I have already tackled - Opening up to this community. I felt rejected by another community that was BFL related so I was really scared and also concerned about rejection due to my gastric bypass. I feel like I am a part of the community now. New Fear or concern cropped up this week - Started a new job - My first job as a personal trainer. I could possibly be training clients as soon as Tuesday. We do 30 minutes sessions. I am used to BFL style and breaks between sets. I need to study up on complimentary and aagonistic training techniques more. I will report in next week on how it goes.

I was afraid of bridges until I bungee jumped off of one that was 22 stories high. I was deathly afraid, even as I jumped. I remember thinking "if I hit bottom I won't know anything anyway". I not only jumped once, but three times! I have been afraid to write a letter to ask for help, (I have a diffcult time asking for anything) but I will write the letter after I put the kids to bed tonight......and get it in the mail in the morning. ~Sandy~

Thanks, BIll!!!!