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Transformation Assignment #11
Giving Up the FightHey guys, and gals, can we talk?
You know, I appreciate and respect the interest you have in transformation. Of course, you wouldn’t be here, reading these words right now, if you weren’t at least somewhat interested in transforming your physical health and spiritual well-being. You should feel really good about the fact that you’re even taking an interest in this; the vast majority of people on the planet today have not made it as far along in the process as you already have.
Because I know you’re interested in transformation and many of you have put in a considerable amount of work so far, and are actually seeing and feeling some nice results, I feel like it’s a good time to take it up a notch. And so I’m going to talk to you today about one of the most important aspects of truly transforming, and that is... giving up the fight.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.”
I first shared that insight in the documentary film, Body of Work, which we made in 1997-98. And I want to revisit that concept here… and look at the higher meaning of it. Let’s start with the first part, “Half of getting what you want.” What does that mean to you? What do you want out of this transformation experience? Back in the Body-for-LIFE days, that question was pretty easy to answer – the vast majority of people I had the opportunity to guide through that program wanted to look better, to get rid of bodyfat, to gain muscle, and have a body that impressed other people.
But now, in this “transformation age” which we’re going through, that question is not so easy to answer. At least it’s not until you go deeper, and connect with the true consciousness of your heart and soul. At that level, you may very well discover that what you “want” is to truly feel alive, healthy, happy, and inspired. You may want to make the change from an ordinary existence to living a spiritual life. You may want to be liberated from fear, worry, guilt, and selfishness. And, in addition to that, you may very well want to have a healthy body to get you through the journey.
What do you really want?
It’s a good question to contemplate throughout this process of transformation that you’ve begun. The more heartfelt, the more authentic and real your answer is, the more it will help you gain a higher and higher level of awareness about what’s important in your life.
Now once you gain some insight on what you really want from this transformation, the next thing we need to do is take a look at, “what you have to give up to get it.” Now, of course, back in the BFL days that could be as simple as giving up pizza and ice cream and exchanging four hours a week of leisure time for intense workouts.
But with transformation, certainly what we are looking for is something richer, more rewarding, more meaningful. The body change will be there, if we simply hold the intention and make exercising and eating healthy part of our new way of life. As I’ve said before, that’s the easiest part of the transformation.
But if we seek spiritual transformation, we have to be willing to give up a bit more to gain the rewards.
What are you willing to give up to get it?
Again, the more authentic, the more honest, the more real your answer, the better.
As I see it, the most important thing to give up at this point is, “the fight.” And by that I mean the stubborn resistance of the egoic nature. When we decide to let that go, and we state that intention in writing, and we do our best to surrender, each and every day, we have truly done at least half of the work we need to do in order to successfully transform.
Now, when many people hear the word "surrender," they misperceive the true meaning of the word. Surrender simply means to give up the fight. To release the struggle. Let go of the attachment to outcomes, expectations, demands.
Your first thought might be, "How in the world will it happen if I don’t make it happen?" That’s not an entirely incorrect way of thinking. However, it’s incomplete in that it makes the assumption that everything that is, is a result of your own doing. And of course, even an ardent mechanistic reductionist can’t convince himself of the logic in that. The world works in mysterious ways, but the world works. With or without us. And that means that we don’t have to do it all ourselves. What a relief, huh?!
The key is to recognize that our primary responsibility in the process of transfor- mation is to identify, to specifically decide, what it is that we want. And we can be assured that if what we wish for serves, first and foremost, the greater good, and second, ourselves, then it has the potential to happen. Next, we simply need to do what we need to do, to make the changes that we’re responsible for making in our thoughts, intentions, and actions. And once we’ve done that, we can let it be. In fact, to try to control things beyond that point is self-sabotage. Something much greater than you and I controls the outcome at that point; no matter what your faith, that much is true.
Again, giving up the fight means letting go of expectations, dropping the pretense, the ego, the act, the disingenuous postures, all the inauthentic stuff.
And it means that the battle is over. You don’t have to fight with yourself to make transformation happen. This is not a battle. It’s not a war. There’s nothing to push against. For we know that truly, what we resist persists. Because we want to improve the condition of our lives, it might be a real good idea to move above and beyond our old way of doing things. We don't have to fight our old way. We just need to let it go.
Now, as we begin take it up a notch and experience this transformation more deeply, I want to encourage you to begin to share more of your truth. I'm more interested in your insight and feelings than what you "think." Because at the beginning, middle and end of the day, the transformation I’m talking about is the transformation of YOU. And your success with this is important to me. I know how much potential you have to transform, and to do it truly from the inside out. And for that to happen, we need to utilize every opportunity to expand our self-awareness. And each of these 11 lessons so far will help you do just that, if you’re willing to do the inner work.
So now, please consider... What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? Please share your insight, answers and revelations in the comments section below.
Until next time...
Bill
This is not an "easy answer" for me. I feel like I have already let go of the darkness that daily surrounded me and stepped into the light of forgiving myself, feeling hope & joy for the first time in years, and serving others. I need to continue to let go of self doubt and take responsibility for shortcomings and do what needs to be done to replace them with good habits. This transformation is changing my life, one day at a time, inside and out, and I LOVE IT!
I desire to live life intentionally, to have a joyful, God-centered Life . What am I willing to do give up to get it? I’m willing to give up: A.) Procrastination: I willing to Act on Priorities B.) Disorganization: I willing to gain Discipline and Organization C.) Control : I’m giving it up to God to direct me
Giving up something to get what one wants is an interesting reflection. I would have to say to give up trying to control things I cannot. I have been working on giving everything to God to take care of. This of course does not mean for me to give up responsibility, but to give up trying to control things. God is going to give us what we can handle and if He brings us to it, He will bring us through it. I struggled with this early on in the transformation process and still have problems giving up all control of those things that I can not. I am a work in progress on this, but if I want to succeed at this transformation process then I will have to continue to give it to God to handle. When I do it is truly amazing what He can do with it compared to what I would have been able to do. Giving up the control and allowing God to work in my life is what I would have to say I would give up to get where I want to go.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? I just give up! That's it. I simply give up! I just give up! Trying to be the cruise director in everyone else's journey I just give up! Trying to reach other people's standards and putting my standards in the back of the line. I just give up! Neglect. I just give up! Disorganization and confusion. I just give up! Lack of focus. I just give up! Procrastination I just give up! Boredom I just give up! Apathy Ultimately I continue to give up the struggle to be someone else's vision. And, I will continue to write my book, my story, my journey and my success. Because if I do that than the "me" will be better for the we and my "I" will be the best for the "us." By giving up I will become a stronger partner.
Inside of me is a person that is so vibrant and alive, even perhaps fearless, but always active with thoughts and expressions. This other me, it seems, has taken a vow of silence. She's been shut up and in hiding for a life time. I want to be the person I was meant to be and I'm willing to bulldoze the walls I have put up to get to her. The thing I am willing to give up is pain of victimitus (the sickness of being a victim).
So, what do I want and what am I willing to give up to get it? Hmmm. I’ve been thinking on this assignment for a few weeks now, and I still don’t think I have a great answer. But I’m tired of procrastinating, so I’m diving in and giving it a whirl. I want lots of things. I want to look slamming, so I need to give up fattening foods and time on the couch. I want to feel more alive, more present in the world, open to all its possibilities. To achieve that, I need to let go of being so analytical, and judgmental. I need to learn to trust. I want to stop feeling guilty about things in my past and forgive myself. I was doing my best at the time. I still fear my best wasn’t good enough, but I’m working on letting go. I can’t undo things so I need to move on. I need to figure out what I want to do professionally. I need to let go of the self criticism that says “no, you can’t” and replace it with a firm, “yes, I can.” These are a few things that came to mind when confronted with this assignment. When I review them I recognize that what I really want is to always be able to set goals for myself and know that I will do what’s necessary to achieve them. I need to believe that I am competent, and trust that I have the wherewithal to follow through. I think the biggest thing that I need to let go of is a lifelong history of being a perfectionist, then beating myself up when I inevitably fall short. This doesn’t serve me well in any aspect of my life, and I have got to get past it. (I’m laughing at myself as I reread this post. Why was I procrastinating on this assignment? Because I didn’t have a “great” answer, that’s why. So look at me…moving past it, with this not perfect, but I hope good enough answer to the questions posed in Assignment 11! Yay me!)
I"ve done a pretty good job of letting go and just following the process and focusing on other things (eating and exercise). With that said, I've got a ways to go, and there are aspects of this transformation I need to work on. Sometimes I check out and don't check up on my T-friends, and I'm off feeling crappy or feeling down. When one thing that keeps my spirits up is lifting up others. Well, back to the question, I've gotta give up my attitude that I'm where I need to be. I can totally see room to improve in the mirror (but I'm way better than 24 weeks ago), and the inner change is no where near where it needs to be for me to call it a winner-winner-chicken-dinner. So, I'll give up the mindset that I don't need much work, and refocus on letting go and following the process.
What is it that I want? Like most a better body, but its not just that. I want the opportunity to step outside of this shell and to take that new breath. To experience that new life that is awaiting. This all goes back to inspiring others and being the change. I have a sense of urgency , but in being urgent I know my worst fault is I tend to beat myself up a lot. I'm my own worst critic and when I get too critical of my own appearance, I am missing the big picture regard a true transformation. The spiritual well being and desire to be around others who have this same passion is a huge desire of mine. So I have to give up some of those past relationships that are hindering me from getting to where I need to be. My pastor, Keith Craft, calls it "Alignment before Assignment". Eating right and exercising are much simpler than changing your surrounding in this manner, but I know it is imperative to my success. I also know that if I don't need help to reach my dream, then my dream isn't big enough. This is one big learning process and in this process we are growing as well. My hope is that this cycle never stops.
the things i need to give up is miscoseption that i can eat any thing and start eating healthier agian in order to achive my new set goals is to get in to body building and compatitions
This assignment has been really hard for me to understand. I asked for help ALOT to help me answer what I have to give up to gain spiritually. I know I have given up many things...My Poor eating habits, being tired with no energy, numb, confused, fat, flabby and frozen. I have given up that old life style and traded it with alot of hard EARNED confidence, a toning up body in progress, eating great foods consistently, and a focused mind. I am not so afraid of life any more. NOW...I think...Bring it on! I am able to get things accomplished faster because I don't procrastinate for that long anymore. But I stilll have it in me to get to it later. I pray to God and I am trying to impower my faith. I seek help and I listen more. I try to speak with my heart when I communicate with others, when my husband and I disagree, when the teenage hormones are raging and when my toddlers are acting their age. What do I want out of this transformation experience? I am doing it. Eating clean, exercising, seeking my faith, getting more out of life and not just existing. I am focused. I am determined. I have goals. I have GOD. I have ME again and that warms my soul and heart. What do I have to give up to get what want? I have to surrender and that is what I am having a hard time grasping. I HAVE surrendered my old life style for a lifestyle that brings me joy. I feel alive. I am healthy and getting fit. I am surrendering my ball and chain I have worn for so long regarding my food and a poor body image. I am letting it go. It no longer is weighing me down and residing on my shoulders. I am surrendering to what I SHOULD become and today...I am becoming who I want to become. I am finally living how I want to and not feeling bad, deprived or not deserving.
After days of contemplating this one, I began writing about it. What follows is what sprang forth. Bear with me, as it's not my normal "style", but it honestly was inspired and comes from the heart and soul... •I need to give up… all that has happened, all that past-vision stuff. My ego stems from that, as does my pride, and because they stem from that, they have become twisted. I give them up freely. I recognize fully that God loves me fully in this moment, this imperfect moment that is my life. He knows I am not perfect; he created me this way. He did this as the greatest gift for me, giving me the journey of my life to progress, knowing that this growth is the fuel for the spirit. I am thankful to be imperfect. Imperfection is the gift of this journey. And my spirit is alive from the journey. I have been afraid to open up my self-esteem and my ego. I have tried to protect them with false pretense. My egoic self finds itself shrinking away as my spirit grows. I let go any anxiety for the future, for I know the future is bright and shining and new. I am fully confident in the future I create for myself, and I am confident that my future will inspire many more to embrace the same future. I see this future vision and it motivates and drives me more powerfully than my old defiance ever could. What’s more is this future vision hurts no one, where the defiance did. I give up defiance. What the mind perceives the body conceives. I perceive infinite progression for us all. We are all luminous. We have always had the potential. We begin to realize that potential now. The joy is in the journey. I desire light, peace, and I drive to inspire as I have been inspired. I give up all looking back. I give up defiance. I give up ego. I embrace life and my soul rejoices as I am new.
In order to get what I really want out of this Transformation experience, I know I have to give up misconceptions of myself. I've committed to abandoning the negative self-talk, but now I really need to believe my own positive affirmations. It's one thing to look myself in the mirror and say, "I can do this," but it is quite another to truly believe in my heart that I can succeed. I need to give up self-doubt!
I know exactly what I am giving up. I am giving up worrying about what other people think about me. When I do that, I play act at living life. I am not truly me. I am a stranger to my own life when I do that. I want to be authentic. To be my faith, to be joy,...... to be or not to be ...that is the question. Am I being?? Each day I have to give up the old ego and just be who I am.No pretense. No portrayal, No acting. What I do when no one is watching is who I truly am. I have to like me. I am working on becoming someone who "I" like not worrying about if others like me. Then I can just love them and give to them unconditionally. Not to make them like me.. make any sense??
WOW! Bill, this commentary alone on your part is very deserving of accolades and awards for your own personal "SPIRITUAL" transformation which is truly evident from your comments and remarks! I am in AWE! Just like that day in Las Vegas at the "I CAN DO IT" conference where I totally felt your HEART uniting to all of ours with the help of the drums that were used to sort of synchronize our heartbeats, the entire room...and I think that is wxactly what I experienced. I celebrated your "spiritual growth then, as I celebrate it now! I truly and wholehartedly admire your guts, determination, and accomplishments. I celebrate your life and I say to the universe at this time, I am ready to give up whatever it takes to experience your kind of "fulfillment", HIGHER-SELF fulfillment, the kind of fulfillment that only comes from seeing GOD's gleaming eyes because He is sooo pleased at our outcome! I am ready...I ask almost every day for Him to use me as He sees fit....for the greater good of this amazing country and universe! That is my intention....choosing or declaring exactly how that will translate into reality would be like a form of "self-sabotage" , for I would choose with too many limitations and barriers. I choose to SURRENDER my destiny and purpose to God. For only He knows where I am best suited...where He has been grooming and preparing me for all the years of my life! So I trust where He puts me or needs me most is exactly where I will be, when my healing is complete and I am ready to go to battle for our fellow man...to help them prevent the pain and suffering I went through to get here! To continue doing the BEST EXERCISE THERE IS....bending over to help others up that are down! I will hold that intention in my minds eye, as my center, my direction and I know God will steer the way. For my mission here is to DEMIFY the world one spirit at a time! BTW, Bill, it is NO COINCIDENCE that the most profound and DEEP assignment and portrayal of the assignment on your part happened to be #11. If you have read any information on Pythagorus, the Greek mathmatician that believed every number has a deep meaning and purpose in our lives just as it carries a unique energy with it, and it was confirmed in this assignment. #11, especially but the same goes for 22, 33 44, all double digit numbers, they are "invinsible". They cannot be broken down or divided, they carry a special energy, and 11 a very SPIRITUAL energy. If you determine by the spelling of your name and the corresponding numbers that are 1-9 only, single digits, what number you represent, you will gain a better understanding of your life's purpose. "JESUS", when the corresponding numbers to the letters in His name are written down then added together, they equal an 11. No coincidence that that is the MOST spiritual number and with it spiritual energies! ELVIS also is an 11. He was destined for greatness, but had apparently other energies that distracted him from his true purpose. I am starting to believe that I am deserving of my destiny now thatmy healing has progressed sooooo far and so my transformation as well. The virus, and side effects that came along with it, made me feel very UN-WORTHY, UN-DESERVING, and like a DREAMER of someone-else's life! Now I have learned sooo much more about the human body and the true detrimental effect food can have on it, or the truly healing effect it can serve if you allow it! This alone is a MONUMENTAL transformational part in my life. H U G E !!!!! In closing, I would like to say, that because I am actually at the end of my second challenge (I'm a slow bloomer), and I can honestly say that I can relate and have related to Bill's very words, "something much greater than you and I controls the outcome at that point (for me it;s this point), no matter what your faith...that much is true." If I can leave you with one "Letting Go" lesson or helpful hint, that I have just discovered (hey, I'm honest, I'm a late bloomer!), it's to "Let Go of the ego attached to worrying about what other people think!" My first 75 pounds were lpst at a local gym that I teach classes at, and no-one that witnessed that transformation happening said two words to me about it! That was pretty astonishing to me. Then I changed my hair color when I reached the 90 pound weight loss mark because I wanted to compliment my dramatic weight-loss transformation with something equally as dramatic. Well, I don't know who I thought I would shock or who I cared to "impress", but just as no-one bothered to say anything about my transformation, no one noticed my "drastic-to-me" hair color change except for two people. Os should I say, only two people who cared or dared to make any comments about noticing the change. This is when I had a pivotol moment....my ego was holding on to what other people were going to say, if others noticed and if others care about me or what I'm doing! I now realize, when I am doing what is good and right, for me and especially, ultimately going to help others (who want to be helped), then who cares what people think about me or say about me. I'm doing this to please God and to hopefully EARN the right to fulfill the purpose He has in store for me! And that's ALL you should be concerned with too. Afterall, people don't really care about your success or improvements, especially if they are dealing with a truck load of pain of their own! I've been there, so I can see that side too...but I NEVER succomed (or so I hope not) to not praising others or letting them know that I at least noticed their hard work, their transformation of any kind, their kindness, or their efforts...so I thank God for that. Drop in on someone today unexpectedly on this site and let them know you noticed them! Thank you to those of you who already did that for me. You're Wonderful! My favorite saying and advice usually to my friends in almost ALL situations or hardships, "LET GO, LET GOD!" His plans for us are far greater than ours for ourselves, so get out of the way and allow the inevitable to take place....T O D A Y !!!!!!!! Hugs from California...Demi P.S. "To know TRUE CHANGE or COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION is to SURRENDER to it FULLY!" Surrender to the process...what will transpire is far greater than you & I as, Bill said! xoxoxoxoxo
In order to get what I want out of this transformation, I want to give up worry! This assignment is my favorite so far...I have transformed my inner and outer thoughts of what is really important in my life. The thoughts of being lonely, poor, guilty, selfish,fat or old are slowly vanishing because God made me in his own image and he gave the ultimate sacrifice for my short comings as well as yours!! REALLY, how amazing is that! He walks, works out, diets and talks with me daily, giving me a whole new perception on life. the more I give the more I receive in every aspect of my life. I am willing to give up worry and replace that negative with a growing faith that I have learned from t.com. I am blessed and I want to pass forward God's truth, love, joy, and light to those around me. 'Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile'--Albert Einstein Being the Change, Renee'
Assignment # 11 What do I want out of this Transformation you ask? I need to know that after 18 weeks, I have transformed from a lazy, fat, self indulged person into a person who has willingly transformed her being into a positive, physically fit role model for herself and her family. I need to know after 18 weeks what my demons are and to recognize that they will always be lurking around the corner waiting for me to allow them back into my life. I need to know that I am able to stand on my own but the gentle support of my family and everyone here at T.com. I need to be proud of myself for what I have accomplished and work on progress, not perfection. That is my final goal with this Transformation. What am I willing to give up? I am willing to give up being the biggest procrastinator I know. I am willing to give up being lazy and a horrible time manager. And those god awful pity parties that I use to love throwing for myself. Yup, those can go too. I am willing to give up the fat I have on my body and replace it with lean muscle. I am willing to give up the negative voice that is still inside my head each day trying to derail my goals. Everything that is negative, I am willing to let go. I can let go of trying to be perfect for everyone and worrying what people are thinking of me. I am willing to give up my vanity and ego to truly pull my being into a positive transformation. I am willing to give up being negative about other people so I can look at the good in each person I come in contact with. I am finally willing to give up my expectations of a perfect body and work more on my mind. When my mind is in the right place, the body will follow.
ASSIGNMENT # 11 - 5.23.09 I've been working on Assignment # 11 for quite some time, mostly thinking about "Let It Be" and "acceptance", or in other words..."How to stop wrestling with God in my own strength, and accept his Divine will for my life and circumstances in Round 1~" I have decided that a picture really does say a thousand words in this case, so I'm posting the picture below, which is an event that was "supposed" to happen in these chairs about two weeks ago... Commencement 2009. ALOT of time and planning...(perfect planning) took place for almost a year to make it happen. Commencement 2009 on the alumni lawn outside my window where I work. The plans were absolutely PERFECT, the chairs were lined up PERFECT-ly, and everything was set in place; but God had other plans for Friday May 8, 2009. Early that morning I was awakened to the crashes of thunder, lighting and downpours. It rained! ...and it rained... and it rained. Severe thunderstorms rolled through Nashville, and Commencement 2009 was quickly moved to Plan B. So what were the graduates to do? Stand outside in their soggy caps and gowns and scream up at the clouds, yelling at God until the rains stopped? Postpone Commencement because they didn't "Have It Their Way? No. Commencement was held in the gym. And it was nice. It wasn't what they planned, but it was nice. Everybody got their diplomas, and they all drank champagne afterwards, and went on to celebrate with their families. And so I realize as I am in my final weeks of Round 1, that God had other plans for me, too. I realize that God wanted to bring out something else in my first official Transformation.com Round 1 Challenge. It's called R E C O V E R Y. I had other plans. I had a 10-year old picture of my "future vision" glued in front of my face. (The picture of myself in the 1999 BFL). "10-year old future vision". That's pretty funny. I planned my whole Round 1 Challenge looking in my rear-view mirror, of something I did back in 1999. The only problem is that I have aged 10 years, and my life has completely changed. I never thought I would say this, but I have to let go of the girl in that photo, find out who I am TODAY, and ask God, "What do YOU want to bring about in this challenge?" "What is YOUR future vision for me?" Clarissa brought this concept up via Bill, in a conference call we had with our group several weeks ago. It took a while for the story about the "garden" to sink in, but now I "get it".
Apparently, I'm willing to give up my Friday nights! 9:30 on a Friday night in Los Angeles and I'm doing assignment 11. Well, the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, so now's the time. What do I really want? I want my life to match the idea in my mind’s eye. I want to live with integrity. I want to shed the lies and see the light – the truth. I want to be the love, the peace, and the joy that I wish to see in the world. I want to keep feeling the way I'm feeling now and help others to feel the same. I want to leave the world a little (or a lot) better than when I found it. I want to lead by example. I want to live out loud. I want to be proud of myself for having the courage to go for it. I want to stop showing my family what being out of control physically and emotionally looks like. I want to honor the gift of physical form I've been given. I want to live life awake and aware - aware that I'm a divine and spiritual being having a physical experience. I want to be an expression of that divinity. I want embrace my imperfections. I want to live a life free of fear - A life based on faith. I want to inspire all of these things and more in my wife, my children, my friends and family, and everyone I can reach. What am I willing to give up to get it? Everything and anything. My ego, my pride, my vanity. My attachments to things, ideas, perfection. Time, money, leisure, relaxation, warmth, comfort. I've already learned clearly that leaving that nice warm bed early in the morning before anyone else is awake, pushing my body and muscles til they're sore, (and enjoying it!) has served me far better than any of these things. I'm willing to give up certainty and security. The search for certainty and security keeps us enslaved by our past. Freedom comes from the courage to embrace uncertainty – it is the place of growth and evolution. I am willing to let go of safety and security and step out into the unknown, which is where I believe infinite possibility can be found. I will do the work, trust the process and my divinity, hold my intention, and release my attachment the outcome. I will remember that all is exactly as it should be in this moment because it took all of the universe and all that is divine to make it so. I surrender!!!
Letting GO!!! I am ready to let go of my expectations for perfection! I am willing to give up who I think I'm supposed to be. I am willing to continue observing my own behaviors to determine what else I need to give up or let go. Much of the agony I've lived through has been of my own doing. I'm certainly ready to give THAT up! I know there is more, but I'm going to think it through some more. Thanks for prying open my brain some more Bill!
What I will give up is: the limits I have falsly surrounded myself with. It is becoming clear to me that I can only become who and what I see in my mind's eye. I have limits I have set around myself in every aspect of my life, and the results are in my current photo's (not yet posted)...just a smaller version of the old me.....I have to live up, I have to let go, to TRANSFORM...DAN
All I can say is WOW!!! What an eye opener.... You talk about introspection…this really got the wheels turning upstairs. This is just the answer I was looking for. I knew this transformation process was more than just my external shell. It’s hard for me to admit but I am finally knowing and willing to give up “just doing things for me” i.e. self centered and selfish behavior. At this point of my transformation, I feel that I have the fundamental principles and discipline to maintain my nutrition and fitness goals that will continue to change my outward appearance. It is now time that I use these principles to comprehensively rid myself of selfish behavior and concentrate on how I can be more giving to others. I feel that my primary responsibly with this transformation is to transcend physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually while sharing my experiences and helping others take the same steps to enhance their lives.
What do I really want? To be alive, to have joy, to be happy! What am I willing to give up to get what I want? The WALL I built around myself. Because of my own negative thinking of myself since I started struggling with my weight, I get this angry competitive or "I'll show them" attitude toward people that I know are thin or who are doing something with their life. I truly know it's the energy that I put off and people are responding by not responding, by not seeing me. "I" made myself invisible, but for years I have blamed everyone else. So, I would say I'm going to be thin and show all these people that made me feel lesser than. The truth is nobody can make you feel that way, but yourself. So today, I choose to tear down that wall of "no accountability to myself and blaming others" brick by brick. I choose to be happy for others and to find happiness each day regardless of where I am in life.
What will I give up? This is such a hard question for me and it has so many answers. Here are just a few: I will give up procrastination. The putting off what needs to be done until the very last minute. Like journaling or planning menus or laundry or car maintenance or the maintenance of me like refilling my medications or making my dr's appointments. The list could go on and on and on. I will give up all the lieds I have told myself over the years. That say I am inferior, I am of no value to others or to myself. I deserve unhappiness. I deserve to be fat and unhealthy. I will rid myself of these paths to failure. I will give up fear. The fear of failure so why even try. The fear of being alone so don't even try to invite others into your life. The fear of not being perfect to everyone around me. To pretend to be whatever or whoever I think the person I am with wants me to be. I want to be authentic and real the way God made me. To realize the gifts I have and to use them regardless of the fear of not succeeding. The journey continues...
I'm willing to give up the big "V" I wear on my forehead. I'm ready to let the past go and quit the "he did that to me, this happened to me that's the reason I do this, blah blah blah!" I'm sick of hearing myself complain. I have a great life and it is time I enjoy what I have going for me and be grateful. Bill when you said, "giving up the fight" it felf as if you grabbed me by the shoulders and was telling me, Cheri stop this insanity" It was a wake up moment for me. I'm ready to take charge of my life and my happiness. Cheri Thanks Bill this was an answer to a prayer.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? I am willing to give up my ego's need for instant gratification, external approval, self-criticism & doubt, feelings of discouragement, over-thinking, arguing with my kids so I can prove "I'm right," insecurity, pride, self-reliance, So the question remains; WHAT DO I WANT? I want to fully rely on God (F.R.O.G. - thanks DeniseT), live in peaceful power (thanks KungFu), to love deeply, to encourage others, to forgive, be merciful and compassionate (especially to my beloved children). to live in the light of Christ. Gwen
I posted this more completely in my blog but here is the jist: I need to give up the security and self assurance I get by trying to find imperfection in others. To be genuinely nice and to be happy I must give up this crutch. It serves no purpose in my new life.
I am willing to give up my expectations to get the peace of mind and acceptance that I want to cultivate out of the transformation. Thanks to BFL, I have the seeds. Thanks to transformation.com, I have the water, sunlight, and soil to grow. Now I need to use my mind, body, and spirit to tend to this garden. My expectations tend to cause me to prune my garden too often, then neglect it all together after I feel I have failed. There is a balance somewhere in there and I am using the knowledge of fellow transformers as well as my own inner voice to help the garden grow.
I would have to say that there is a definate "wall" that I hit when I consider just what it is that stands in the way of true transformation. This inner struggle that I've so-often described in other posts reminds me of the movie "The Truman Show." There is a part in that movie where the main character's suspicions that there is a life beyond the bubble he's been living-in get so overwhelming that he climbs aboard a boat (his biggest fear)- and sets out to find answers. Ultimately, the character hits the outer wall of the bubble he's been living in, peels back the fabric- and sees a world far removed from the one he's grown accustomed to. In the same way, I don't know how many times that I will bite-the-bullet, do something that I have been procrastinating about FOR WAY TOO LONG, and ultimately wish that I had done it in the first place (whatever it may be.) The bottom line is, fear (of something) keeps me in a constant cycle of procrastination and unfulfillment. So Bill, to answer your question, I am willing to give up the security of my comfort zone- and directly confront this mysterious spectre of fear that has gripped my life for as long as I can remember. I deserve to be happy.
This was a hard assignment because I have this sense that no matter what is going on in my life, I have control over it or my reaction to it. So to discuss or even consider that I could give up that control is downright frightening. However the control is what stops me from getting where I want to be in this transformation. I use food to control my emotions and to hold on to an addiction that I can blame for my shortcomings. This is what I'm willing to let go. My somewhat disgusting analogy is that of a child in the anal retentive stage of phyco-sexual development. Frued theorized that children who struggle with allowing excetion to happen normally (once out of diapers of course) are fearful that they would lose control, and sometimes quite literally were afraid that thier entire insides would be disspelled. So they quite literally want to keep all that poison in their bodies, because of what might happen. I relate to this, and this is what I need to be willing to give up. WOW.
I am willing and happy to give up everything,that has been holding me back from acheiving the ME I AM...I give everything to God to lead me,to guide me and show me the way...HE will NOT let me fail..With God ALL things are possible...He loves me too much... Always...Angela..Keep Smilin...
I want to be a leader, a role model. I want to be recognized and respected as a person that takes charge. To get what I want I know I must leave "give up" my comfort zone and earn that respect. I want to leave behind the fear inside me. I no longer desire to be a follower, but to have the confidence to take on new responsibilities and tasks.
As Shane stated "What I feel is that this was written specifically for me"... I would have to totally agree. The harder transformation is on the inside. Truly a life long challenge for me. My awareness began back in the late 90's when my ex-husband went to treatment for alcoholism and some one informed me that I too had a problem... Hit me right in the gut, but true!! It was then that I started reading and understanding the sickness that can lie within and keep me stuck if I'm not willing to be honest. Shortly after, I turned my life over to Christ and the spiritual side of me woke up. I've always wanted freedom from fear and control, a since of security. Yes, it has slowly gotten better and better, but as I've stated before, true healing I have yet to experience. So when you ask, "What are you will to give up?" I would have to say fear, control, perceptions and the strong stubborn will that wants to hang on to it. These character flaws have taught me allot but have robbed me from my youth, joy and freedom to give openly and honestly with self and others. This is a big one. Staring myself straight in the eyes, am I really willing to become that aware and in the presence of God to see things with truth? I can say yes, and have said yes many a time only to set myself up for failure because I'm a creature of habit, but, now that I'm here at this step and truly want healing, am I willing to get it? I would have to ask myself, there is something deeper, what is it? TRUST... am I willing to trust God instead of myself and be obedient to his voice and act differently? I can say sure, I'm ready, but am I? Well, I'm not getting any younger, life is precious and I want freedom and peace so what am I waiting for right?... So, once again here is opportunity knocking and it's time to "surrender". As of today, I'm going to ask God to guide me and truly let him take the steering wheel. No more excuses or blame for my actions. Just do it, right? RIGHT!! I truly want to love and have many relationships, ultimately with God, my husband, family and friends. So here I go, continuing this journey. Just the thought of it gives me freedom............. I'm grateful for this assignment!!
I just went through a huge struggle in deciding whether or not i was going to try to go for a contract and move forward with a career in Layout design or Start a home Daycare. I know I could have made enough money for the rest of the year with this one contract, However, I would not have the opportunity to spend the summer with my kids, take them to swimming lessons and I know I would have the bump and grind of Denver traffic on my hands. Then after the contract was up in Oct. what then? Yet I felt like I was giving up apart of me in letting the contract opportunity go. I am used to defining myself by my career and status. In this decision, I thought of my family and their needs and wanting to continue another challenge this year with the T.community. But am I doing this for everyone else or myself? Will I be happy doing daycare? Before I started my career. I didn't have My newest addition to the family, Madison. She pulled on my heart strings when I was laid off and I saw just how much I was missing. Then my son, Trent, showed drastic improvements in his behavior. My eyes were opened, I know now, I am making the right decision. Part of me just had to let the decision happen. It played out according to God's plan and I am all the happier for it. I think this assignment was the most difficult for me to grasp. I had to revisit it because it has a completely new meaning as I read it now. I had to give up the fight of trying to do everything and I must admit. My communication with the community has suffered for it. Now that the decision is made, I can regain my focus and concentrate on my next challenge with renewed energy and motivation. I think as long as we hold onto internal struggles, we can't give 100% to anything.
I need to give up my "false sense of accomplishment" as soon as I see some results, I feel like I reached a goal and then slack off a little. Also, I need to give up the proscrastination. Feeling and knowing what I have to do, but not doing it. Nutrition for me needs to be re-structured and I need to finally attack the issue! Great posting as usual!
Giving Up The Fight It seems all my life I've been searching for peace and happiness and it always seems just out of my grasp. Right when I get my hands on it, off it goes like a butterfly in the breeze fluttering away from me. I think I have read every self help book ever published, but for some reason knowledge is nothing if I cannot apply the principles in my life. The biggest fear I have is that I will not be able to realize what it takes to be happy and stay happy. Trust is another issue I have. I think I trust people but always in the back of my head I am waiting for people to stick it to me. Most people think I have it all together, maybe on the outside with the clean house and the finances (not bouncing checks, paying bills on time, great credit,) on the inside I am a mess. I cannot seem to pull my inner life together. I can do it for awhile and then the smallest thing will upset the apple cart and everything is out of control again. I feel like a fraud. I am giving up all the tomorrows and staying in today. I will concentrate on what is happening right here, right now and do the next right thing and keep moving forward. I give up trying to fix my family and their feelings, they are welcome to feel them. I give up worrying about what others think about me. I am giving up sugar and binge eating. I give up quitting on myself.
What are you willing to gve up in oder to get what you want out of this Transformation experince? Well Bill this was the toughest assignment to date! I've taken along hard look at myself where I was before this experince & now I have to say, looking back I really didn't like my self I was unhappy w/ me on how I let myself go. I used food when I felt lonely & unwanted. I'm willing to give up my comfort food like pizza, potatoe chips,candy & sodas too name a few. I'm willing to give up the feeling I need others approval & making excuse's. I want to have tons of energy, happniess,inner peace & a healthier me for my husband & family. I want to inspire others out their who have self doubt about themselves to know that if I can achive my goals they too can succeed! We all have the power of change within us, we just need a little push sometimes . Thanks Bill for this site & a special thanks to my husband for signing me up & all of you here at Transformation's for the push!!!
I WANT TO BE ALIVE---TO FEEL ALIVE--- Give up trying to "coast" through each day I have to let myself be more open to change and more open to God. To not take each day for granted. Love who and what I have.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.” So what is it that I want? I want full, energetic, physical health, limitless creativity, and artistic success! I know that I won't be able to achieve the latter two until I take care of the first part! So what do I have to give up to get it? I have to give up the idea that I can do it on my own. I can't. I've been trying and trying with little to no success. So my goal now is to enlist help. Help from my physician. Help from my family, help from my friends. I have to give up thinking that I can control the outcome through sheer force of will and hard work. I can't. I've tried. So I'm letting go of that, too--the force of will part, anyway! The hard work remains, but "many hands make light work". Thanks to you, Bill and all the t.comers that have helped and are helping me to achieve my dreams!
Long before I found these assignments and the community of Transformation.com, I set out to increase the freedom in my life. The last thing I expected was to find more freedom in sharing with others than in isolating myself. At first I defined freedom as the ability to move about without influence or impact and I attained that version when I severed all ties with my family. At 40, I was broke, had lost my home and discovered no one I knew was available to help me move. My definition of freedom changed shortly thereafter when I took a 3-day class on empowerment. From that experience, I drew to myself a lifestyle that gave me more money than I needed (even if I had to pay someone to move me) and put me in the center of large groups of people. I had the freedom to choose what was important to me; what would bring me more joy; who I would include in my life. (this is when I met CreatingGoodness and she became part of my definition of freedom) A number of years later when the doctor told me I had just a few months to live I had the freedom to surround myself with people who understood and supported me but I’d lost the freedom to live my dream; to be a published author, to grow old and have more stories than I could ever tell. My definition of freedom changed again to include an element of peace; peace with who I am, what I’d accomplished and what I planned to do. My dis-ease calmed and I set out again to reshape my life around my new definition of freedom. And then, I met my future husband and the foundation of my freedom crumbled – had to. A relationship; a real one was diametrically apposed to my definition of freedom. But the more I got to know Michael the deeper understanding I gained of myself. He has given me permission to be myself – even if that changes. With this new freedom, I stepped into the Transformation process wanting to gain confidence; what good is knowing who I am if I don’t have the confidence to show others. It’s one thing to practice being myself in front of my close friends; it is an entirely different animal to be who I am all the time – even with strangers, on a web site or at a conference in Denver; in October. The delusion that no one is interested in what I have to say, that who I am is so messed up I have no value, that I could never be consistent enough to gain anyone’s trust are all surface resistance – my fight. What I now know is the veil hiding my soul; the true me, is the value I have put on myself, my life experiences, my freedom. None of that matters if I have to be someone else; if I’m just watching myself from afar. What am I willing to give up to gain true freedom? I won’t give up anything. All that I have been, all that I am is valuable. Instead, I will constantly and diligently reinforce that I love who I am, who I’m capable of being. I can hold this version of myself for only a few seconds now but with practice, it will be my only picture of myself: mobile, confident, leader, FREE! I am strong physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually!
I'm willing to give up negative thinking. To seek to understand then to be unsderstood. I want to become a master of lifting up others.
I want a peaceful life filled with love,excellent health, optimistic enthusiasm, and a strong fit body that allows me to meet any physical challenge I choose. I also want to help people. In order to get this I am willing to give up negative thinking, conditional love,expectations of other people,worry, procrastination,"stinking thinking",judgemental thinking, and the evening news. I am also willing to give up feelings of inadequacy .
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? I have been giving this question quite a lot of thought. The first thing I needed to determine is what I really want. What I want more than anything is to feel at peace in my own skin and in my life. I want energy in my body and a smile on my face that reaches out to those around me. I want to lay my head on my pillow each night with the peace and comfort that I am who I was created to become. I want to appreciate and be CONTENT with all of the gifts I have been given, but also be DETERMINED to use them to their fullest potential. I want my family and friends to see me at peace and full of gratitude. I want to be an encourager. The one thing that I need to give up in order to accomplish what I want is CONTROL. I think I can figure out and fix anything, and I don't stop trying until I THINK I have. I feel that if I am in control I can make sure everything is done right, and nothing will go wrong. I think I can MAKE myself be who I think I should be. I think I can MAKE my husband and children who they should be. As long as I am in control nothing can go wrong....right?? Of course not, so why do I keep going around the same mountain over and over and think I will end up in a different spot? It's simple, FEAR. I am afraid of not doing everything right. I am afraid of something bad happening to my children or my husband. I am afraid of disappointing people. I am afraid of failure. This fear DRIVES me to control, and like I said it drives me around the same mountain time and time again. A mountain of frustration, stress, additional fear and disappointment in myself. It accomplishes the exact opposite of what I want. It does not GIVE me anything, but it TAKES from me my time, energy, health and happiness. I have really been working on this throughout this transformation. I have been letting go and accepting the fact that NOTHING is in my control and I am going to give up the opportunity to enjoy each day and be who I was meant to be if I continue to try. When I look back I can see how far I have come, but know I need constant reminders. As soon as I feel that old familiar feeling coming over me I take a deep breath, say a prayer, and then move on with my day. I'm tired of feeling tired and worn out from trying to control. I'm letting God do his job, it is clear to me that my life is in his hands, not mine. Always has been. This is what is finally bringing me the PEACE I so desire and allowing me to achieve all that I want and need from this transformation.
I think I have to give up a lot of things... Bitterness, fear, the notion that I can really figure things out on my own. Hmm... If I drop all that heavy emotional baggage and the rigid approach to problem solving, would I even recognize myself? Hmm? Hmm!!!!!! I think I get it!
WHAT I REALLY WANT is to be the very best that I can be and to inspire others to do the same. I want to be peaceful within myself and stop seeking approval while I am on my journey. WHAT I AM WILLING to give up is the quest for perfection and comparing myself to everyone and everything else...to get out of my own way! Life is not supposed to be this difficult as it is in my head, and yet I have been insecure and approval-seeking for so long, that it has become normal. For me to complete my transformation and become the woman I want to be, I will have to step out of my comfort zone and not look back.[big breath] And I am ready!!!
I can't do it! Assignment #11. I can't do it! I don't want to give up anything! I'm not fighting anything in my life that is keeping me from my goals! Give me a break! "Give up the fight"? You want me to quit? You want me to quit the things that make me who I am? How dare you! Tell me that there are things in my life I have to give up to make this "Transformation" happen! I have never quit anything that has made me, ME! I have thought and thought about this assignment and I keep going back to my high school football days. I worked hard for four years to be a part of that team. Every year it seemed I got passed over for something. My sophomore year a few of us were asked to practice with the varsity team. I did a great job! I even did better than most of the varsity players for that position. After that day, I felt great and knew that I had a chance to play on the varsity team as a sophomore. A couple of the other players were asked to move up and the coaches told me they couldn't bring me up because it would really hurt the sophomore team. I went with the flow even though I knew I was better than the varsity players. The next year I was passed up again. I was on the varsity team my junior year but I was not on the first string. All year the stats showed I was the best player for the position. But, for some reason the coach did not want to break up the senior squad. My senior year! I finally was a starter! I had the best season ever. I played on the defensive line. We made it to the state playoffs for the third year in a row and I was a big part of that. I even was in the paper a couple of times during the year. At the end of the season the All-State list came out, I was not on it. I could not believe it. The coaches said that they fought hard for me to be on the list. How could they even say that? One of my teammates who played a couple of downs a game on the defensive line was on the list for second team All-State. Four years of hard work and knowing I was doing my best and was one of the best and I get passed up again. Sure I went to several colleges on recruiting trips and some of the coaches were interested in me. I was not interested in football anymore. I gave up. I quit. As I think about it now I realize that I convinced myself that those who played college football were a lot better than I was and why should I work hard for 4 to 5 more years to get passed over again. I can look back and see several times between my high school football days and now where I really believed that I was not as good as the other people around me. I quit. I told myself, "I can't do it!" I gave up on things that made me, ME. You have asked me to give up the fight and quit and I will. I will give up the fight with myself. I will no longer set myself up because, "I CAN’T DO IT!" Dave
GIVING UP THE FIGHT I like to say surrendering I am going to give the thought that has held me back for so long that I am not Good enough or Worthy enough to be anything other then a mom and a wife, this blessing of being a wife and a mother is truly a gift but god has been telling me for so long that he has more there is more for me and because I choose to hold myself back and lie to myself I got no where well I will and am more then what my lower believing is and I am going to be a champion I am good enough and worthy enough to lead gods people to receiving god’s blessings that is truly what my highest believing is now telling me. so I am giving up to you, god, the thought that I am not a bright enough woman, that I am just crazy when I think that I could be what my highest self wants to be A FAITH DRIVEN, HUMBLE POWERFUL SEEKER FOR THE TRANSFORMING OF THIS WORLD AND A SENDER OF GOD’S TRUTH, LIGHT AND LOVE . So I will be forever asking god to transform my mind so I can create a life of being what he wants me to believe I am. How will I. #1. By saying the prayer that he has given me for the renewing of my mind #2. By opening up to using the words that he gives me to help others when I am talking to them and he gives me things to tell them I will tell them. #3. By allowing and not controlling. #4. By giving praise to my creator when he uses me for someone else Ok help me highest power I have just laid it all out there and now I want it, so give me the straight and renewing of my mind to be nothing more or less then what you want me to be love light and thankfulness for your glory**********Karla
I use to be the "ardent mechanistic reductionist" you speak of. "I once was lost, but now I'm found," applies to me very directly! I have learned to trust in what I call "The Process," and have realized that the whole course of things in life is to teach us faith. In trusting The Process, I realize I have to give up my insecurities and false sense of security that lies at the very core of my ego. The most comfortable, yet simultaneously, uncomfortable thing we can do is remain the same, stay stagnant, live in mediocrity and never realize our own unique potential, or never find our own voice. The discomfort and pain of challenging ourselves to strive and become all we were designed to be pales little in comparison to simply surviving and never realizing our Higher Self. Ultimately, I am doing what everyone else is doing: I'm giving up ego for conscience. I'm giving up fear for peace of mind, insecurities and uncertainties for confidence and faith, disdain for joy and happiness. Giving up the fight, to me, means simply to trust in The Process and have faith in myself. - Ronnie
I have had some huge struggles with this assignment and will be posting a blog on it but to the point, I am willing to give up my attachment to my "old" self and the self-sabotaging behavior that goes with it. I will give up the appearance of having it all together and surrender to what is real. I will give up the thoughts that I can control everything and all the outcomes. I will give up the need of constant approval from others. Thank you, this assignment was so needed for me right now.---Kerri---
This has been an extremely tough assignment for me. Something has been standing in my way, and it was an issue that I knew was going to be coming up in my life. Problem is I didn't expect it in this context. The problem is exactly the fight that I need to surrender. What do I want? It seems like it should be an easy question to answer. Like anybody else, I want to be happy. I want to be successful. What does that really mean? What makes me happy? How do I define success? It starts to get tougher when you take the question deeper. Money hasn't ever meant much to me. I blew off the chance at medical school for a career as a paramedic. I followed that into firefighting. Certainly not your high dollar jobs, but I loved what I was doing. That made all the difference for me. So how do I define happiness or success? How do I take it further? How do I make it serve others whose lives are tied with mine? How do I rebuild my life, and at the same time serve others? How do I find happiness and success, serve others, and fulfill God's purpose for me? Ultimately it came down to one word. Inspiration. I want to be inspired. I want to inspire others. I want to enter lives as a palpable force of good feeling energy. I want to enter rooms as a palpable and positive force. I want to make a positive difference in the world around me and in the lives that I touch. Here's where it got even more difficult. I'm supposed to give something up for this. Half of knowing what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get there... And now issues from my past reared their ugly heads again. Without getting too deep into the details of my past, I have to learn to forgive. I have to let go of the idea that I'm owed something from the people who I percieved as having let me down, dissapointing me, not being there when they should have, not loving me the way I thought they should, not treating me with the respect I thought I deserved. I have to give up the thought that I'm owed anything by anybody. I need to turn my expectations loose, forgive myself, forgive others, and trust that God will not only love me but will guide me to His glory rather than mine. I have to give up the illusion that I have control over things that are in God's hands (like the future). I have to learn to trust God, my family, and the process.
(April 20) Today is my father's 75th birthday. I can remember being a kid and thinking 35 was old. Back then I lacked any perception of mortality. Life just had a tendency to eternally move forward, one day rolling into another. But now I am all grown up and have been confronted with the reality of our limited time here on earth. Both sets of grandparents are long gone, along with a few friends, a father-in-law and a step-father most recently. Not only have I been confronted with the reality of a pending expiration date, but it has become a subject on my mind most days anymore. Dad lives about 700 miles away. Sometimes it feels like 7000. We have issues. Mom and Dad split up when I was 14, throwing me and my 3 siblings into the expected resultant home life turmoil. Mom moved 1200 miles away, leaving us with Dad and our familiar surroundings. Dad did his best. But as is true of most parents, he fell way short of many of my needs and expectations. Mom was quick to pair up with a new husband shortly after leaving, which has been the source of great bitterness for my father to this day. I have never been able to bring this topic up with any degree of reasonable discussion or resolution. Sometimes, after Dad has absorbed a good amout of Johnny Walker Red, he has given me a piece of his mind, but I wouldn't call it the better part. So the issue sits between us, like a indigestible meatball; greasy, heavy, locked up. Dad and I have phone contact two to three times a year. The calls are usually short, and pleasant enough. We talk about his golf game, his health which is usually pretty good, and maybe touch on something going on in my life. It is always painful for me. So I don't call him much. And then I think about what it will be like when he is gone. The idea is almost unbearable. And yet, nothing changes. What is holding me back? Why don't I just call him once a week to let him know that I am thinking about him; That I love him. That he matters? I feel deeply regretful that I have allowed so much time to go by with almost no effort from me when others, whose fathers are already gone, would give almost anything to have them back. I need to get past this. I need to let go. I need to allow him his reality, his limitations, and accept his efforts fully without criticism or judgment. Dearest most loving Universal. I am asking for your help. Help me see beyond my selfish, petty demands in order that I may be the loving person towards my father that I know I can be. He needs me as much as I need him.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? My own will. It seems that when I try to do things on my own, they don't pan out. But, when I listen to the Lord's leading, everything seems to fall into place. So, I am willing to let go and let God through obedience to Him. It's crazy how I have hesitated to let go in the past because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of not being the best. I am willing to let all of that go and be led by the Father. He created me and knows what is best for me as well. He led me through a friend to t.com and has guided me as I have traveled this journey of this first Transformation round. He wants what is best for me and in turn I can give my best to others. He is the one that can help me shine and I can not do it myself. I surrender myself over to Him and his leading.
I surrender the dis-belief in myself. I cast out the voice that says 'you can't do that' or 'you won't finish that'. I will replace it with determination and an unshakable belief in myself. Looking back I can see that my whole family has this same voice of self doubt. Once I fix myself, I can help them as well.
Giving up the fight for me is giving up the fear of really being the best I can be. I simply have to let it happen. When I give up the ego based fear of somehow failing then I can succeed. For when I give up that fear I no longer have to use food as a drug or run away from human interaction living a loner's life. I can then reach out to help others and make meaningful connections which is what life is all about! Beth
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin! I want to live the life God has placed in my heart! I want a life filled with love! I want others to be comfortable around me! I want to be strong, healthy, lean What am i willing to give up? I am willing to give up the act,& the thought of control & replace it with, enjoyment of the process
I give up excuses, control, self sabotage and negative thoughts! I have had an error in my way of thinking: if only I knew why? Why did this happen? Why did I do that? Why, why, why? I don’t need to know why, what I need to do is give it up and move on and to stop sabotaging myself. I am willing to give up my whys and excuses and replace them with an unwavering decision to follow my program with courage and determination to fulfill my purpose. I give up sickness, low self esteem and my lack of energy that develops when I listen to those negative thoughts by replacing those thoughts with positive messages. I give up control of the outcome but I will focus on the steps needed to improve balance in my life. I will give up pride and ask for help from others. I give up procrastination and looking at past failures. By giving up I am entering a new season of faith, health and fitness. As I give up the control I am changing my entire being and will be prepared to inspire others. I give up my will and surrender it all to Jesus, my Savior.
This is a tough assignment, but I love it. I feel like I’ve grown so much already from my Transformation, and yet I’m fully aware of the fact that I still have so much more growing to do. This assignment reaffirms that thought. What do I want…when I started this Transformation the answer to this would have been very simplistic…lose weight, get ripped, feel good, eat right while doing it, and have the body that most people envy. After all, this was the song and dance every time I started a BFL Challenge. Sure some of these wants are still there, but there isn’t much substance here. I slowly started to realize that I wanted much more than superficial change in my life. I’ve been fighting faith and a relationship with God for years, and I knew that I wanted to be on the same plane with my wife in raising our children. I felt that I was a good husband and father, but how good was I really? Could I be even better??? I sure thought so, but I wasn’t sure what that meant at the time. For the longest time I’ve felt this sense of compassion and a desire to help others, and yet I never did anything about it which seems like a waste. I needed to start to prioritize the things in my life that mattered most, and get rid of the things that are / were holding me back. I knew going into it that my biggest challenge was my walk with God…after all I barely knew him, and I certainly didn’t trust him with my life. I was in control of my own destiny (or so I thought). What a struggled I’ve had with this…what a fight. I finally decided to stop going thru the motions at church and became active. This was the only way that I was going to learn about God…the only way that I was going to finally have a relationship with Him. I decided that I had 2 choices…either walk with Him and become a believer (knowing that even if I were wrong in doing so, at least I would have lived a much more rich and fulfilling life), OR I could choose NOT to walk with God and continue to live a life of uncertainty. I’m happy to say that I finally let go, and I’m finally letting God. I can’t stop asking him to show me His way…to lead me in His light…to use me as He sees fit. I’ve finally seen Him working in my life, and it is truly amazing and rewarding! In doing so my life has become so much more lucid, and I’m finally seeing things in a much different life. I’ve been able to change my perspective on my faith (HUGE) in this short period of time, and I attribute it to this wonderful community, my church family, and without a doubt, MY family. My intent from the onset of this Transformation hasn’t wavered, yet back then I wasn’t quite sure about how I was going to get there. This is much more clear to me now, but make no mistake…I’m not there yet. Quite frankly I’m not sure that I’ll ever be “THERE”…and by that I mean that I don’t think I’ll ever have everything completely figured out. I’m a firm believer in the fact that we learn thru our experiences, and in doing so we grow. I’ll always have something more to learn, and I long for more of the growth that I’ve experienced since starting my Transformation. The beauty of it all is that I’ve finally identified what it is that I’m working towards, and I’m able to focus on getting there. I’ve given up my guard, and I’m letting God control my life…how amazing it is, and how thankful I am to know that it isn’t all on me…that’s a lot of work! I’ve become much less of a workaholic, and much more of a family man. The rewards from this are priceless. I’ve given up binge eating (although I’m still eating an off meal or 2 during my rest day on the weekend). This is something that I want to continue working on, and I thank Chris Winters dearly for his Blog on “should you take an off day”. What I find really cool (yet also very disturbing) is that I often get comments from people that I eat with either at work or with family, and the comments are usually like this “wow, look how good YOU’RE eating” or “I feel like a fat pig for eating what I’m eating thanks to you”. It makes me feel good that I’m making the right choices, but it also makes me sad for them that they just don’t get it. I’ve been there too, and it’s such a shame that there is no shortage of poor eating habits across our country. I want to help them, but don’t want to come across as though I’m lecturing them. I’m hoping that if I continue to just focus on what I’m doing, it will set an example and will make them want to follow. I need to give up trying to control situational outcome…what I mean by this is that I feel like I’m always anticipating what is going to happen next…at work, with my wife, and especially with the kids. I feel like I’m always trying to control these environments so as to avoid a catastrophe, yet when I do this I feel that I inhibit the growth of those that I’m affecting…especially my kids. I need to let my kids be kids, and let them roam free and explore. There is so much growth in that, and I’ve been pretty bad about it. I’m willing to let this go…I want to let it go. I AM letting it go. I know that God will take care of us, and I’m comfortable in that. I want TERRIBLY to let go of my control over money (and sometimes lack thereof). I want to be more giving to those in need, and to my church, and yet it seems like it’s one of the toughest things to do. I still have a lot of work to do here, but I’m confident that by working hard on my Transformation I’ll be able to let this go as well. Without being overly scattered in thought, I want to be whole. I want to be the man that my family believes me to be. I want to be a man of God. I want to be a hard worker. I want to be an elite citizen. I want to be a role model. I want to have the body that I’ve always dreamt of having. I want to be the father that I never had. I want to be the husband that my father was not. I want to be an entrepreneur. For all of this, I’m letting my life go and am finally, after much resistance, letting God. And that, makes me, feel good. I’m feeling great today, and I’m feeling the change. The only true constant is change…be the change. -Eric
What am I willing to give up? I never looked at myself like this before but it is time to admit I am a very controlling, dominant, and opinionated person. That part of me has created a wall that others are afraid to come near. I am willing to throw all of that out the window for good and come to an undrstandingwithin myself I don't always have to be right or have the last word. I will give up my feelings of insecurity and self doubt because I have learned through this I am beautiful inside and out. I am learning to find peace with my life and realize the true value of simple pleasures amd mot taking things for granted. Listening to the music while typing this is a really powerful visual for me. I really feel as if I am throwing those things away. Realizing the only fight there ever was within myself. I was my own worst enemy. NO MORE!
Giving up the fight is giving up trying to be someone i'm not and being the person I am. I will do this by letting go and letting God take over for me and guide me down the path that He feels is right for me and one that feels right in my heart.
Pin-point accurate and correct.... but yet this simple truth has eluded me for 30 years! Some times you have to stop fighting to win, sometimes you have to stop trying to control the uncontrollable to achieve success. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.. Though I paraphrased these from the blog, I think that they contain great wisdom in finding inner peace. My particular journey on transformation is unique to me, and as such the path is different. I was given these insights before I started, and these pearls of wisdom have helped me so much though my transformation to where I am today….. great stuff, I really like how and where this is going…
Honestly, It's so much more simple than I make it out to be... I want... To be happy, and love myself, and my life. I want to live the kind of life that others are inspired by. I want to be one of the rare people that has stood out to me, as just loving life... I want people to see me, and feel that... and know that they can have it too... what am i wiling to give up to accomplish that. Everything. Honestly... Everything. I feel so strongly convicted to seak out this happy person i should be.. i long to be... that is within me.. And i'm willing to do whatever it takes. And i'm starting to recognise that it is just that easy. "Do what it takes to be that person"
- I’m willing to give up sleeping in, so I can get a quality workout in early in the day to start the day off great. - I’m willing to stop being such a control freak about everything in my life. I will ask for help - which is difficult for me. If the job is done, maybe not the way I would do it, I will be grateful and not attempt to re-do it myself. - I am working on reprogramming childhood conditioning: -“Be a good girl” – afraid to take chances because I don’t want to disappoint or anger someone. Didn’t want to make waves or behave in a way that embarrassed my parents. - “You’re so skinny”- my Italian mother saw my best friend as “too skinny”. While she was 5’3”, 97 lbs, my mind interpreted “skinny” as a negative connotation and something to be avoided at all costs. Stress eating and chocolate helped eliminate that condition. - Perfect credit score – stressing over finances to ensure a perfect credit score. - Stress eating – depressed, excited, worried, anxious, agitated, stressing over meeting deadlines. Some people pace, I would eat. - Self-sabotage – Don’t tell me what to do; deliberately eating so “I’ll show you”. Well, 85 lbs later, I showed “them”. I am a very private person. I don’t discuss finances, age, weight, my fears, weaknesses or imperfections. However, I REALLY want to lose another 60 lbs and inspire others to reach their transformation goals. I also want $5M to create a thriving business, jobs and philanthropic opportunities; as well as to take care of personal financial obligations. For that, I am willing to open up and share my inner-most feelings and imperfections. I can’t emphasize enough how difficult this decision is for me.
This assignment's title of Giving up the Fight and surrendering definitely had me digging into my spiritual renewal during this Transformation journey. Jesus Christ gave up everything...surrendered himself in order to give me eternal life. If I am to be a Christ follower, I should live like Christ and surrender. I am surrendering my Transformation to Christ. I'll do the work. If it is His will, He will give me the results. He is in control of the outcome. I am in control of the process. If I trust the process, He will give me the outcome in His time. God Bless you Bill for teaching us the process. - Chad
What do you really want? The simple answer to this question is that I want happiness and health, and to be able to inspire others to create their own happiness and health. I have realized in this process that I am responsible for creating the state of my life. Pre-Transformation, I didn't know how to listen to my body or my mind. I was constantly filling my mind with negative, self defeating thoughts. I was filling my body with food that made me feel dead most of the time. I was filled with terror and misery every day, and I blamed the food, I blamed my past, I blamed everything and everyone I could... but I never took responsibility for creating the hell that I was in. So many things have changed. My body and mind talk to me even if I don't want them to lol Sometimes I will engage in something that isn't right for me, and it's easy for me to change the behavior because I realize that if it makes me feel miserable that I shouldn't be doing it. It used to feel good to be lazy, to procrastinate, because it meant that I didn't have to deal with the hard stuff. Now I don't like how it feels to put things off, I love the satisfaction and peace that comes with accomplishing the things that I need to do. The person that I am creating has these qualities: 1. Takes action to reach her goals 2. Inspires others to reach their goals 3. Can easily tell the difference between the high road and the low road and chooses the high road 4. Lives as an example of what great things can come from letting go of the past, taking responsibility for the present and future, living clean, eating clean, and taking care of this wonderful body that I took for granted for so long. 5. Appreciates my life, the lives of those around me, and the blessings that I am given every day and lives with that gratitude and humility in my heart. 6. Has faith in a higher power and has faith that higher power will help give me the tools that I need when I need them and that higher power deserves my faith and gratitude. 7. Knows when I try to "fight" something, that it's futile because the more attention that I am giving the thing that I am trying to fight, and the more I'm making it a part of my life and thought process. If I take my attention away from an undesirable behavior or action, I take away it's power. 8. Lives with a powerful purpose of transformation, empowerment, and improvement. 9. Knows that each day I wake up with the power to create a positive ripple or a negative ripple that will effect the lives of countless others, and makes the conscious choice of making that ripple positive. 9. Takes pleasure in the accomplishments and victories of others. 10. Takes pleasure in learning and knowing that I will never be through learning. Knowing that I am capable of learning. What are you willing to give up to get it? Questions like this are why I'm glad that I waited to do some of these assignments at towards the end. I didn't know what I would have to give up to get these things, and I'm quite sure that there will be more things that I will have to give up in order to move forward. In a nutshell, I had to give up the person I was. I couldn't be an addicted, unhealthy, tortured,scared, lazy, negative, hopeless person to come as far as I have. I still feel some of those things, but instead of feeling trapped by those things I see that they are there, recognize them for what they are, get out of their way, and move forward. I gave up being a victim of my past. I chose to forgive and move on. The past doesn't torture me anymore. Some relationships in my life have changed. I've seen some friends leave. I didn't really count on that. It hurt, but I kept moving forward. I figured that if there were people in my life who depended on me to be the old Mary and are disappointed or intimidated by the New Mary, that I had to let them go because I'll never be the old Mary again. Another thing that I have had to give up is the quick fix. I used to be a huge partaker in any kind of quick fix I could get my hands on. It's in the moment and doesn't do a thing for mind, body, or spirit. I remember when I was a child, a motorcycle plowed into the side of my dad's BELOVED thunderbird while my mom was driving it. My mom's answer to that dilemma was to put bandaids (yes, bandaids) over the gaping hole on the side of the car. That kind of represents the quick fix to me. I am not perfect and I have had to make some mistakes during this process to learn some valuable lessons. One I'm going to share is that on Valentine's Day I started to smoke again. Yeah, I know. I remember telling Mitch and he said, "You shouldn't feel bad about that. In this time with this stress and the economy, I don't know one person who hasn't turned to some kind of a drug. No one is getting by on their own right now." At that moment I thought of this community and how all we are all given these amazing tools to cope and to get through all of this stress without giving in to a drug or a quick fix. This community is not the norm, but should be! I thought about how other people would see me smoke and it would send a message that smoking is an acceptable way to deal with things. Smoking is a bandaid on a car, even worse because it's so deadly. That is not the message or the example that I want to send to others or myself so I let it go. I'm not so great with words, but I'm going to try to put down how I sum up the answer to this question. To get the life that I want, I am willing to give up a lot. Sometimes it's painful to give things up at the time, but I am realizing that I haven't had to give up ONE THING that I wasn't better off without. This process isn't about giving up things that I really NEED, it's about giving up the things that were killing me. It's about giving up the things that are toxic, self defeating, negative, unhealthy, soul sucking, and ego feeding. But it's also about taking in the things that are empowering, positive, healthy, loving, nurturing, peaceful, soul feeding, strength building, and joy giving to lift up my life and make it so much better.
11 A. What do I really want out of life? I've been thinking about this for several weeks. Putting off this assignment, because it makes me responsible. And when you take responsibility, you change. You have to...there is no going back. It's out there. So, here it is. More than anything, I want my children to be healthy and happy. I know, I know. You're thinking...not another mom with no life! You need to take care of yourself first....yada, yada, yada.... Well, bear with me. First, my children being REALLY healthy and happy is THE most important thing to me. The thing is, I'm just now realizing it, and they are 10 & 12! I'm realizing my life is not just about me. It's not just about my husband. Our wants...our needs. Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in everything...the businesses, finances, house etc.... As a result, I don't eat healthy like I should, I don't exercise like I should, I drink to relieve stress (yes, falsely relieve stress), and believe me I'm stressed to the hilt! And all this...all of it, is what my children see everyday. Every single day. This is what is normal for them. This is what they are learning....how to handle life in an unhealthy way. Again, what do I really want out of life? I want my children to be healthy and happy. 11 B. What am I willing to give up to get it? Whatever it takes. All of it. I will give up buying and supplying unhealthy food for my family. I will give up making excuses for not having time to shop, prep and cook healthy food for our family. I will give up making excuses for being too busy to exercise. I will give up using alcohol to relieve my stress. I will meditate/pray and use exercise to relieve the daily stressors of life. I will give up my denial that my actions are not hurting my my health and the health of my family. I will give up my denial that my actions are not teaching my children unhealthy life habits. I will give up not being responsible. I am responsible. I am responsible for ALL OF MY ACTIONS AND NON-ACTIONS. And you are right, Bill. I will give up the fight. The fight to deny and control. To turn my life over and accept where I am and the responsibility to take care of my health and the health of my children. Thanks, Bill! Maggie
This has been the most difficult assignment to date........For My Transformation to proceed, for me to be successful in this process.....I am willing to give up the "baggage" that brought me to where I am today. I will no longer dwell on things that happened during childhood, adolesence or even adulthood that led me to a self distructive need to eat myself into obscurity.
This assignment comes at a difficult time for me, and my answer three weeks ago would have been very different than it is now. Three weeks ago everything about this challenge was still coming easy for me; I was fired up, excited and feeling strong. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I clearly lost my way and my confidence has been shaken. I absolutely trust this process and know, without a doubt, that it works; it's my ability to stick to it that I'm unsure of. What do I want? 1. To be pleasing to God. 2. To be healthy for myself and my family. 3. To be able to shop at a clothing store without have to go to the "Plus Size" area. What am I willing to give up to get it? Three weeks ago, I would've said, "Whatever it takes to get it done." Now, with a more realistic view of myself I'm willing to give up the following ... 1. Two hours of sleep in the morning 5 days a week so I can walk the dogs and go to the gym before work. 2. One hour of television each night to spend reading the bible and praying so I can grow closer to God and be pleasing to Him. 3. The notion that this journey is 18 weeks and that I will be able to do it perfectly. Instead, I'll accept that this is a lifestyle I get to choose every day forever and if I falter I get to choose to do better tomorrow. 4. The expectation of a certain number on the scale by a certain time. Better to trust the process and let the results take care of themselves. ~Nancypants~
Assignment #11 What do I really want? I have put off way too long on completing this assignment as I have been stuck on #10 for quite some time. I have found myself losing steam from the setbacks that I have had on the past month. I was on a roll up until I decided I was going to be a runner and I overdid it. (ok, so 3 miles of run/walk wasn't a great idea to start). My knees complained very loudly and went into protest mode. That along with having problems recently having been diagnosed for degenerative scoliosis. I was doing pretty well with the back therapy and adjustments that the chiropractor made, but somehow really hosed it up yesterday moving some weights around and I am quite literally on the couch trying to mend. In my mind, I have "given up" being the champion for this round of transformation. I am definitely going to finish, but I have my sights set on the next round. I want more than anything to have a healthy back and get my knees back into shape from whatever damage that I did. I realize that I am not Super Woman and that I need to make changes moderately. I was feeling so strong and determined that I just dove into it like I was already a triathelete. lol I realize also that I need to re-evaluate finances. I make decent money but have nothing to show for it. If I were to be laid off (which in my industry there is a very good possibility) I would be so hosed. I figure I need to refocus in this area, and make some changes now to be successful. I would so love to be able to go somewhere this summer but it just isn't possible. My oldest son needs to consider college next year so that is weighing on my mind as well. I just don't ever feel like I am ahead. I also know that I have an addiction to drinking wine - especially on the weekends. This is probably the biggest reason for my failure. Not to mention it's a pretty darn expensive habit to boot. It's not necessary but I still enjoy it on the weekends. So I would like to find some other way to eliminate this habit. I tell myself it's red wine so it's good for you. But a couple of glasses a night each night of the weekend probably isn't. So for me, I want to continue a healthy lifestyle with eating to plan and working out. I want to get myself together financially and to build a better relationship between my kids and my husband. I would love to be able to be in the position where we can take a nice vacation and spend some quality stress free alone time. What are you willing to give up to get it? Obviously my wine habit is getting a little expensive, so this will be one of the things that I will give up. I am not going to completely eliminate it, but I am sure going to curb it quite a bit. I am also going to budget and only spend money on items according to the budget I have set in place. This is all very new to me as I feel like I live paycheck to paycheck. I know that if I watched this more closely, I would actually come out ahead. I think at this point, I need to give up Mexican food. I have zero will power when we go out on free day, and overindulge. Not only that, but it's expensive too. So we need to quit eating out so much and stick to a budget. My hubby and I seem to go out quite a bit when the kids are with their dad for the weekend. I need to give up sleeping in on the weekends and get back into going to church. We have been considering going to the "Cowboy Church" which looks like a neat place to worship. But I seem to catch up on my sleep on the weekends. I need to be more firm with my hubby about us going to bed earlier. I just feel so bad going to bed before he does, but it takes him awhile to unwind.. So I don't seem to get enough sleep during the week, and then I sleep in on Saturday/Sunday. Until 10:30! Then the whole day is gone! Wow, I am done with #11! This has really been very cleansing for me. :) Thank you all for listening. Hugs Edie
Bill, it’s amazing that in doing the assignments for my transformation, the timing as I do each assignment is exactly the one I need to be completing on that day and time! Today is Easter Sunday and I have to be honest, before this assignment, I was at my turning point with the typical questions. “Do I continue? I know what to do. I am too busy. Should I finish? Is it really going to matter if I complete this? My packet that I put together is not as professional as many who use the videos and music to express themselves. I am not as sophisticated with the computer skills as many. Will my packet really matter? The answer to all of these questions is YES! Bill, God has placed your transformation assignments for HIM to reach me and transform me. What you offer through these assignments is truly a gift He personally has given me through you to help me attain how HE wishes for me to present HIM to others! I am not a super model and never will be, but I can certainly represent HIS temple, my body, soul, and spirit based on how I live each day of the rest of my life! This leads to: ... What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? What I am willing to give up in order to get what I really want out of this transformation experience is to stop procrastinating and stop waiting till tomorrow to get back on track, program, and exercising! I am willing to give up on waiting to exercise until noon when I can start the day by doing one hour of exercise before work. I am willing to give up 3 hours a week to plan my meals, go grocery shopping, and plan my week – one day at a time to lead me to my transformation. I am also willing to give up 20 minutes from 5 p.m. to 5:20 p.m. each day after work to organize my desk and computer desktop. I am willing to give up 1 hour in the evening to clean up after dinner and get one item (box) uncluttered so I can begin to see my desire to be uncluttered to set me “free” of unnecessary items so the Spirit of God can easily flow and LIVE in all areas of my life. I am also willing to give up half hour in planning for the week to make time for special people in my life so I don’t reach my grave wishing that I had spent more time with my important people in my life. I am willing to give up one day a month to make time to celebrate a special moment/birthday/holiday to make others feel special and loved! Most important, I am willing to give up one hour a week to spend time before the Blessed Sacrament to LISTEN to God and to obtain graces, blessings, and guidance!
The word "want" has usually come across to me as a negative word so I would sometimes cast this "desire" to the side and not address "my wants". Although looking inward throughout these past few weeks I have come to acknowledge that wanting something does not have to be "selfish". God made me to have desires in my heart and He wants to fulfill those desires for me as His child, although not all desires may be beneficial for me, or they may not be the correct timing in my life for me. He guides me and allows me to understand His direction for my life while I in turn surrender MY ways to His ways. My life's purpose is to live a life Holy unto my God and pray that I have touched someone's life along the way. I want....freedom from my inner fears to express myself fully to others without any inhibition or speculation of their perceived thoughts about me or their assumption of my intention of the heart. To get this I realize I must give up my fear, and my anxiety. I must keep moving forward into relationships no matter how uncomfortable they may seem at the time. I must continue to be authentic, caring, patient and loving for others to warm up to my character and understand my PASSIONATE nature. I want....my children to know the God of heaven and serve learn to serve Him with all their heart. To achieve this desire I recognize I may at times have to give up momentarily my "career" to further enhance this goal. Although I know that if at any time I feel this goal can be achieved otherwise I will be thrilled with this option. I want.... to LIVE fully in His service - helping others find the Lord and learning to walk in His ways. I give up time, hobbies, friends and desires to worship Him weekly with fellow Christians. I give up TV time, internet time, ballgames and alone time to study His word. Although.... I must learn and discipline myself daily to study deeper and post my findings so others my glean from God's Holy Spirit writings. To do this I need to SLOW down and MAKE it happen more often. I want..... to be financially in a place so my husband and I can have an explosive, effective ministry in speaking to others concerning spiritual, physical and emotional concerns. I know that we must continue to look realistically at our finances and keep moving forward to set ourselves into a better position to make this happen. We need to pray more about this. I know that in order for this to take flight both of us need to be prepared mentally for the success of God's work. We must be willing to step out in simple trusting faith once more into the land of the "unknown" where Jesus waits to bless us for our labors and TRUST. Oh..... there is more that I WANT but this page cannot hold the words. My notebook must remain my refuge and I will need to post more in my blog later.
When I began this transformation on January 4th, I was a very private person when it came to sharing anything that I was trying to do when it came to weight loss, especially sharing any photographs. Well, I let most of that go, when I posted my before pictures – at least I thought. If I am being 100% honest with myself, today, I am still very shy about sharing my journey when I have to share or talk about where I started, because it is still very embarrassing; I have not forgiven myself for getting to a weight but more importantly a negative feeling, that has dominated my thoughts for years. I guess it is a little easier to talk about it now, but not when I have to share pictures. I always thought, even during this transformation, that the more weight I loss, then the more comfortable that I would feel. I know now that I must make the mental commitment to share. It is going to take more than just losing weight and feeling better about myself; it is going to take for me to dig deeper and require more of myself. So I am willing to give up any and all apprehensions about sharing my before pictures and the feelings they generated back then and generate to this day. I know that I am still going to have to work at accomplishing this, but it does feel good to write about it and share it with all of you. To me this is a first step to clearing one the biggest burdens that has dogged me in my life – all of those things that I wrote about in Assignment #1. Those feeling have held me back from living life to the fullest because they were and still are always on my mind. Even as I lose weight, the way I used to feel is never far behind. And by letting go and sharing, I feel that I am forgiving myself for bad decisions in the past. Giving and receiving that forgiveness is very important to me. Take care. Jonathan
Assignment #11 ASSIGNMENT 11 Giving Up The Fight Half of getting what you want, is knowing what you have to give up to get it! What do I really want? This goes back to assignment one. We had to surrender our egoic self, the lower aspect of ourselves that simply can’t handle the truth. When we posted those photos we were being brutally honest with ourselves, confronting our fears, and finally for once, listening to our true feelings. By writing the + comments into or around the picture we desired for ourselves, we confront those fears and surrender our old thoughts. By letting go of the control that our lower nature has over us, we are introduced to a newer, better, healthier life both physically and mentally, not to mention spiritually all wrapped into one. Looking back at assignment one I see that my comments around my perceived new body are a lot about me and not so much about where I really would like to go with this transformation, So, I need to go back and update my comments. So here are examples of what I truly want out of my transformation. 1) I still want to look strong and lean so that I can portray the image of a confident transformation champion. I am starting a transformation ministry at our church so I will need to look the part (Be The Change). 2) I want to help others achieve changes that they never believed could happen in their lives. 3) My mission is to bring other strong people that have beaten their adversity and get them to help me here on Transformation.com 4) I want to do all of this without fighting my old habits of self righteousness and just do it for the right reasons. So, what am I willing to give up in order to get what I really want out of this transformation experience? I will give up my free time willingly, drop my high expectations of others, and let go of my righteous behavior to be my true self so that I will come across as genuine and believable. This assignment 11 has taken much more thought to accomplish its full meaning. I feel that I have just scratched the surface here and that more will come out as I progress through the successive assignments. I am learning more about myself each and every day and it is a welcomed activity. I look forward to changing my assignment one often. Dan
I want to be true to myself. Let it Go and Just BE. This is about believing and trusting in myself and not depending on anyone else for my happiness and not blaming anyone for any result I experience. Being afraid of making mistakes is what keeps me from being my true self. This is what I'm willing to give up and be free of. To give this up means to be honest and not judgemental. Trusting myself without worry of pleasing others or doing things for the wrong reasons. Mistakes are becoming an opportunity for growth and they were once something I hid away. I am willing to practice non-judgment and willing to give up my fear of mistakes. I will be free of this fear.
What do I want?.....I want to wake up and be happy about facing another day, I want to be able to handle the challenges each day gives me without being negative and bitter............What am I willing to give up? Excuses, I am willing to give up excuses I use that hold me back from my full potential, I am willing to give up the idea that this Transformation has to be a process that I cannot make mistakes with, mistakes are fine...I learn from them and move on....progress not perfection :-).....I am willing to give up bitterness about things that have happened to me and bitterness about things in life that are out of my control....I am willing to give up my preconceived notions about spirituality and my preconceived notions and jaded experiences with religion and I will start over from scratch....with a clean slate so to speak about spirituality and religion and learn them anew with an open mind.
i blogged a more full description of it..but wanted to post it here in brief...what do i want? to be free to be me, healthy and whole and free to follow my Creator's Voice. what did i have to give up? control, attachments and fears...MAN O MAN it feels good!
Here I am in Week 13 and I thought had posted this and I have not. Accident? This is a tough one. I want to be alive every minute of every day, loving my life, being authentic, and in tune with nature and spirit, feeling calm, peace and integrity. I want to accept the love of a partner into my life and let myself get truly close to another. So I guess that means that I have to give up many of those limiting self beliefs...especially the ones about how overwhelmed with work I am and how everything bad always happens to me. I need to give up forcing and struggling and know that I am safe and that the river of life will carry me to a wonderful place, if I can be present and take care of myself and truly care for others. I will replace my negative self talk with appreciation for the amazing, loving, beacon of light that I am and I will know that I will make mistakes and that is ok. I can do this!
Out of this transformation experience I will lay down in bed every night, close my eyes and think "WOW - that was one great day". I will effectively communicate with others. Be productive, organized and efficient in my day-to-day tasks. Be able to deal with stress in a healthy satisfying way. I will be a positive influence and inspiration to people I come into contact with. I will take on new challenges fearlessly. I will live guiltfree, for my own happiness, and not to please others. I will to be a better mother, wife and friend. I will openly share my gratitude and love of the Lord with others. I will have a healthy lifestyle and a lean, toned figure, of which I will forever be satisfied with. To get what I want, I will give up the fight with my egoic self. I will be concious of my thoughts, intentions and actions. Are these things I'm thinking and doing helping me get what I want? To be successful, this is a task of training my mind. I will give up my days of floating around with unproductive thoughts, and without purpose.
I am the lead in 2 movies. In the “Freedom” film I am outside on a trail, looking ahead. I just stand for a minute; I look around and then just steadily and easily start walking forward. I feel strong but relaxed. I’m not carrying anything – it’s just me. I look around at everything as I go past – just experiencing and appreciating. I am smiling and my eyes are shining. That’s what I want. In the other movie I have a big coat on and I’m carrying all kinds of stuff. I keep struggling to hold it all. I keep dragging things and dropping things and have to keep stopping to gather them all up again. I am hot and it is really hard to make any progress. What is all this stuff anyway? Some of it is mine, but a lot of it belongs to other people. I don’t even know how I got it all, but I am really sick and tired of carrying it because it is just not helping me at all! This is what I am willing to give up. I am giving up my attachment to everything that has happened in my life that keeps me away from “flow.” How do I do it all at once? Simple but not easy…just put it all down and live each new moment as precious and pure no matter what it brings. I forget about how I used to act – I just listen to that increasingly confident voice of the “inner me” (I hear You talking, God!) and act from that.
Well this one is huge for me.. I am feeling so much freedom in my life these past few weeks. I feel like these assignments are just flowing together as I am making the progress. I have not ever in my life been so out going and reached out to so many people and truly felt liike it was ok, that I was worthy and that my voice was good enough to be heard. I have been hiding out in my little space for the past 20 years, and it is so nice to honestly feel like I am OK and worthy to be ME! I feel like for me giving up the fight included me giving up my lower level habit which then turned into setting my spirit free.. I have given up that fight and it is really awesome to feel how incredibly amazing this feels.. I am in control of my life.. I am not being controlled by a substance, that eventually would have killed me.. I ran today for the first time in 23 years without stopping.. I have been going for runs with Shane here and there, and I cant breathe and we have to stop and walk for longer than he wanted to.. But, today I went on my jog and being into my freedom for 3 weeks now, my lungs love me and I ran all 3 miles stopping only to make sure my dog didnt get ran over..lt was so wonderful! So, I gave up that huge fight in my life.. I know this has set me free in so many ways that I had been fighting all sorts of things because of the addiction and I am searching for more everyday.. I love this process, now I look forward to the next level. :)
Assignment #11 What do I want? What am I willing to give up? What do I want? I think that I'd, of course, want to fitter and more attractive body to go along with my devilishly handsome face....lol That's easy. But this answer isn't supposed to come easy to me. I'm supposed to search for the inner truth. Not to be cliche, but I think that it goes back to my childhood and my perception of myself and how I fit or rather didn't fit into the world. I always felt like the "fat kid" growing up. (See previous blog, "A Dysmorphic Life") Even though, by today's standards, I was just a regular kid. I always felt like I didn't fit in the world. I was the slowest, fattest, last to be picked kid...always. I still had friends. I made people laugh, and for themost part I went through school unscathed, but nobody wanted me on their softball team. The only exception, perhaps, was when we played football and people lined up for me to be their center...lol Looking back, I always sought out different material things that might make me faster, or thinner, or better. Our next door neighbor, who was a real bully, was also pretty athletic. I remember, that I begged my parents to let me buy his bicycle when he wanted to sell it because I had it in my head that if I had his bicycle that I'd ride faster than before and not be run off the road in bike tag. (a sadistic full-contact demolition derby invented on my block) It didn't work, obviously. I was still slow. Fat. But, it was never instilled in me that in order to run faster...I had to run! The kids on my block were faster because they played little league and ran everywhere. I didn't. It was never a priority growing up. I never played sports. I never learned to love being physical. I NEVER exercised. Running was something I HAD to do, and I hated it because I SUCKED at it. Now on to what I want. I want my daughter (who is totally me!) to say, "Hey, Daddy! Let's RUN!!!" And, when she says that to me...I want to run! I want to show Emily and Ethan (her twin brother) that it is FUN to run. They need to learn that their bodies are beautiful and functional and amazing. And, the only way for me to show them that is by BEING THE CHANGE! They are my world. So, I will Be The Change I want to see in my world. What will I give up to get there? I realize now, through Transformation, where I have gone wrong all these years of trying to get into shape and lose fat of my body. I have always viewed fitness as a battle to be fought. It has always presented itself as some insurmountable peak that I maniacally claw my way to the top of. Time after time, I lose my "battle" against myself and slide down the side of that mountain further and further each time in to the valley of my despair. Bill has hit it cleanly on the head for me. I need to get the heck out of my own way. I will surrender the "fight" for it is not a foe to be conquered. In fighting this war, I have been the only casualty...not my body fat. For, I am NOT my body fat. It does not define who or what I am. I need to shake off this shell that is not me and reveal my true self. I will stop viewing my progress as a battle won. I will stop looking at my goals as monsters to vanquish. Rather, I will, finally, relax my fear and surrender to nature. I will accept that this is not the way my body is meant to be, and I will reveal my true self so that my body will finally match the life of love and fortune that I already posess.
Assignment #11 - Giving up the Fight What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? Good question. Of course there are the easy answers that Bill already addressed like giving up unhealthy foods, laziness, etc. However those aren't truly addressing the deeper issues such as why do I feel the need to eat unhealthy foods and be lazy, and why do I continually try to hide myself from the world? Something that I have really been working on, and I'm not entirely sure of how much progress I've made in this area so far, is learning how to love myself. For me, the thing that I truly need to get rid of in order to become the person that I wish to become, is my intense self-loathing/self-hatred. For some reason I have always believed, even as a small child, that I'm not worth anything. During my religious years when I was heavily involved in church and worked as a full-time missionary, I even had a difficult time believing that God could love me. I worked as hard as I could trying to give of myself to others because I believed that I had to earn God's love. Then, when I began to address my sexuality during my early 20's it became an easy answer: God couldn't possibly love me - because I'm gay. And the rejection that I experienced when I came out to my missionary friends only confirmed that my suspicions were correct - it didn't matter how hard I tried to earn people's love - I was simply unlovable. That is when I began to pile on the weight. I went through a couple of very unhealthy relationships, and I had stopped praying because I was afraid to hear what God might say to me about the choices that I was making in my life. I felt completely alone, with only my self-destructive thoughts to keep me company. The more I isolated myself, the more I began to eat so that I could make myself undesirable to the rest of the world. I began to reflect on the outside exactly how I was feeling on the inside. In order for me to truly transform I need to learn how to love myself. I need to believe that I am worth the effort. I need to believe that I deserve to be happy. And once I am able to truly believe those things in my heart, then I will finally be able to become the person that I know I am capable of being. The progress that I have seen in this area so far is that I force myself to accept compliments from others where I would normally have simply dismissed any efforts of encouragement. When my partner and friends and family tell me they love me, I let their words and actions truly sink in. When I see myself in the mirror or in a picture I stop myself from saying or thinking negative things, and instead take the time to find something positive in my reflection. It's not easy, and some days are harder than others, but there are definitely some good changes happening in my life. Slowly, but surely.
It’s interesting that I have reached this assignment at this time. The last two to three weeks have definitely been some of the most stressful for me. With some great help from my T.com friends, and lots of soul searching on both assignments 10 and now assignment 11, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I have attracted most of the stress. With that said, there are things that I need to give up, even though I’m not totally to the point of willingly giving them up. First I need to give up some of my expectations – like the expectation that things need to go a certain way, and if others aren’t accomplishing that, than it is my responsibility to take over and make sure they do. Which leads me to the main thing that I will need to give up in order to get what I truly want out of my transformation – control. In order to help eliminate the stress in my life and to live long enough to enjoy my transformation, I will need to give up the need to control my surroundings and every aspect of my job ,as well as anyone’s job that intersects with my job, or crosses the perimeter of my life. I need to work towards removing the terrier-like traits from my personality and start out each day by asking God to Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
What I am willing to give up. I have always been the type person that would never ask for help no matter how bad things would get, I am ready to except the fact that I am not alone in the world and I can ask other for help when I need it instead of going without. For the first time in my life I have a wonderful support team. I could not ask for a more loving husband and kind friends that I have found here on the transformation group. I was brought up being told that I could not do alot of things. That I was not smart or strong enough which I let this hold me back for the biggest part of my life. I would never ask anyone for anything because I knew that I would just be told that I could not do it. I know now that there is nothing I can not do it I just have alittle faith in myself. So I am giving up the pour me additude and going after what I what.
I'm willing to give up fears and concealments. I'm willing to give up trying to control what I can not. I'm willing to let go of the past, forgive myself for my mistakes and move on. I've been so self centered for so long, I'm willing to give that up to. In my college years, I feel like I had to be selfish in order to make my way. Half way college, I got my funds cut off from my parents even after they promised to pay as long as I had a 3.0 GPA. I held up my end of the deal. They didn't. So I had to be selfish, self sufficient. Look after ME cause no one else was. I'm proud of that accomplishment, but years and years after, I still look after me too much. I'm working on being more giving and am much more conscious of it. I'm willing to give up numbing my feelings with food and alcohol. No longer will I turn to them when I start to feel stressed or overwhelmed. Face what's making me feel that way, not feed it. I'm willing to give up the fight. I will trust the process, not give up hope when things don't seem to be going the way I think they should. Follow clean eating, exercise, and the rest will come in time. Change from the inside out. I want to look as good as I feel on the inside.
What I want for myself in this transformation is to live a long and healthy life for myself, my family and my family yet to be born. What I am giving up is the inability to ask for help. I am a hard charging, Type A who can do it all herself...thank you very much...but...that doesn't always work...so I need to change that. I will ask for help, I won't do this alone, I'll share my success and my not so successful forays as I transform. I will ask for guidance when I don't know what to do. I will wear a sign saying "kick me if I don't ask for help." Only kidding! Poking fun at self-starting self. I think Shane wrote in an earlier post he will surrender...this is similar...I will not fight the mountain, I will go with the flow
I have decided to give up my constant need for other's approval. I have been the type of person who always needed other people's opinions to move forward with anything new. I would ask people "what they would do" in my situation and act on their ideas. My thoughts ended up not being my own. I have always been afraid of "getting in trouble" and I felt that if I used someone else's ideas, I would not have to accept ownership for my actions. Not at all the case. I will begin to train myself to be more decisive and stick to my guns, and if what I decide to do works out, great! If not, I will learn from it willingly. Moving forward, I will act on my own based on my own thoughts. Loving and learning every day, Geoff
This assignment really made me think. I have made so many changes in my life in the past 6 months. First, I discovered a good friend at the gym who helped me with encouargement and kindness to lose 10 pounds, this in return gave me confidence in myself to continue. Soon after, I discovered this website and the word of God, which in return gave me new direction, happiness and inspiration. These three things (My friend, BFL & God)that entered into my life at just the right time have made me a better person in every aspect of my life. So, I have to say that I am willing to give up my all that I was before. Not that I was a bad person or even lazy, i just was not a person who had the knowledge of what it takes to succeed in Gods eyes. I do not believe anyone can be the same after so many positive things make you change for the better. Nor do I believe anyone would ever want to go back to their old ways after discovering your true potential in life. So, my answer to your question is that I am willing to give up everything that I was before. I love myself now and look forward to each moment of the day to see what God has for me to do for him.
I will give up fear for starters.
I will give up trying to do everything on my own.
What do you really want? I want to be the best person that I possibly can be. I want to be a leader not a follower . I want to lead people from the world of obeisity to healthy. I want to become a champion. What are you willing to give up to get it? I am willing to give up my lazziness, my negative attitude,anything it takes to succed.
"What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience?" "share more of your truth. I'm more interested in your insight and feelings than what you "think." The interseting thing is that I had allready started to take the step of "letting it be" and "giving up the fight" on my own. I had to chuckle when I read this assignment because it was allready coming forth...naturally on its own. As I have gone through this process ,many painful things popped up for me to deal with. This has not been an easy journey! I feel like I have spent alot of my Transformation journey fighting with my own soul!!! I have had one conflict after another internally!!! I have been battling to rise above. I was blessed to be able to "feel" it all...anger, pain, sorrow,depression,bitterness, loss of hope, remorse, jelousy, fear, did I mention pain??? Yeah I had alot of it! At times it felt like I was going through some kind of "Dark night of the soul." I would look around and think.." what is the purpose?"..... "How am I going to ever get it"..... "Will I ever make it"..... "I have given you my heart father in heaven...to make it beautiful and more pure....my desires are pure...."Why the pain?" " why the doubt?" "Why the depression?" "I thought since my desire was pure...I shouldn't have to go through these feelings!" I felt like I was digressing...When in actuallity I was growing beyond measure! As I faced each obstical...I learned how to overcome my mind... My heart grew and I was filled with compassion for my fellow men...I have learned to "feel their pain"....Who would of thought that these hard times were NOT leading me into destruction...but they were leading me to love and compassion!!! Man that Heavenly Father sure knows what he is doing! *So what have I learned to give up? My way...for his Way.... I am letting it be.... I am trusting the process...I am not "fighting" to win...I am at a place of peace and stillness within my soul...I am being presant in this faze of my transformation. I have no reason to fear...I am being still and KNOWING that he is God....He will put me where he wants me...I surrender my will for his! Looking back this process has been beautiful to say the least! Thankyou dear father for believing in me! You lead, I will follow :) ~Marie
I am letting go of guilt. I am letting go of my feelings of inadequacy. I am letting go of my lazyness. I am letting go of my need for food. I am letting go of all of my excuses. I am letting go of my i'm not sure I can do it attitude. I am letting go of my incessant worry about my job and my clinic. I am letting go of the shopping list in my head of "to dos" that runs through my mind before I can sleep and keeps me from sleeping 8 hours. I am letting go of the need to be everything for everybody. I am letting go of any blame or naggin I have for my husband or for God. Neither of them ever intend on hurting me and they both try more than anyone to give me exactly what I need in life. It is not either of their faults if I can't see what is best for me at the time. I am letting go of fear. I am going to choose the things I want out of life and make them happen. I am going to let go of this fat body. I am going to let go of this fragle ego. I am going to be someone to look up to. I am strong and happy and blessed. When I take the ten minutes out of my life to reflect I see the world as it really is, a beautiful place where I have so much power to do good and be great.
What do I really want? I want to finish each day satisfied with my life, and with my contribution to my friends and family’s lives. I want to live a life of action rather than reaction. I want to love what I do for a living. I want to give more than I take. I want to know my children and their children are taken care of financially so that they have the opportunity to devote their lives to exploring their passions and developing their gifts. I want the time and energy to enjoy my life with my friends and family for years to come. My body is a reflection of my spiritual state. Only when I deal with the barriers to my full self expression will my body truly show my transformation. I want the light and love within me to break down the barriers between me and the peoples of the world. I want to be known, respected, and cherished as a leader, a coach, a mentor, a father, a husband, and a friend. I want to spend my days helping others to realize their potential and live their dreams. I’m willing to give up control of my life – to trust that there is a higher purpose, a higher power than me running the show. I’m willing to give up resisting and ignoring my intuition and simply move forward through the next right thing each and every day. I’m willing to give up being right and being wrong and settle for just being. I’m willing to give up resisting, avoiding, ignoring, anything in my life. As Bill says, and it’s truly my experience, what you resist, persists. I’m willing to give up that my plan for any given day is in any way important or necessary. Finally, I’m willing to stop pretending to be small, lazy, and incapable. I am a spiritual being of infinite power and vision enjoying a physical experience. I am willing to give up struggling against life on life’s terms. In life, things happen. I intend to be grateful for the opportunity to experience this life and it’s myriad happenings. I give up that any of it is good or bad. I strive every day to be an empty cup waiting to be filled. Namasté –Rob
There are four things that come to mind, that I am willing to give up to reach my goal: 1) I no longer press the "snooze button" more than once in the morning. I use to press the "snooze button" at least 3-4 times until I realized I was waisting precious minutes towards my transformation. Now, I'm up much earlier and have time to read the Bible and exercise before leaving for work. What a great way to start my day! 2) I've learned to give up a "social lunch". Lunch hour use to be an hour spent at a local restaurant with clients, friends or family. I'd eat so much, I'd have to take a short nap once I returned to the office. Now, my lunch hour is spent at the YMCA exercising and upon my return to the office I have a protein shake. Hmmm...I know longer require naps! 3) I've learned to give up 20 minutes of T.V. or other activities at night. I still have time to do things with my wife, 5 children, 17 grandchildren and friends at night, but they all know that my 20 minute walk or jog comes first. If they don't want to join me for my 20 minutes of exercise, they can start the fun and games without me. I'll join them later! 4) I've given up the ego trip at the YMCA...no more 2-3 hour powerlifting workouts (with very little cardio), tank tops, looking in mirrors, and visiting with the guys between sets. Now, it's 45 minutes (with a trainer) of fast paced cardio and weightlifting , a long sleeved hooded sweatshirt, and no time to visit or check myself out in the mirror. Hmmm... I finally figured out how to melt bodyfat!!!
So now, please consider... What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? At first glance I thought to myself that this would be an easy assignment to breeze through and onto 12A for Davey Boy.......Not A chance once I REALLY looked inside of my spirit for the truthful answers here. The first challenge was going so well I thought until I got to this aspect of the whole thing. I thought at first well I am willing to give up the Oreo's and Soda Pop for A RightLight shake. Easy enough right? ......Too easy was the TRUTHFUL answer. It is so much more that we have to trade and this is a brief overview of SOME of the things that have been revealed to me since that time in the infancy of my journey. The first thing I must give up is the false image of me that I have created over these many years. The masquerade of confidence, the cloak that covers the self centered satisfaction I desire, the outward projection of superiority and the wall 10 feet thick to protect the feelings I have bottled up and tucked away deep inside for "Safe Keeping". My true feelings are like a bottle of wine that was corked many, many years ago and put into a dark, cool cave to age and change and build complexity until one day I can reveal the contents to the world and listen to the Ooooh's and Aaaaah's of the people mesmerized by the splendor of it ....... in stead .....I made Vinegar ! That's right something went wrong, I turned into a sour, Bitter and Stinkin' mess! But there is some good news, That's right there were these wonderful people that showed up in my life one day and they brought some light, A very BRIGHT LIGHT. They looked around in the deep, dark cave of mine and lit up every corner that had been in a cloak of darkness. They left no nook or cranny shadowed. They searched for something they knew was there and I didn't even know it existed. Guess what?!?!? They found another bottle!! Thats right there was a second bottle, They carefully pulled it from the shadows, Dusted it off a bit and held it up against the light , so far so good. it's a little cloudy but some of the best wine is. They got more friends and talked about it for a while and decided it was time to pop the cork...POP! hmmmm...sounded good now let's give it the smell test .....Sniff...sniff......No Vinegar smell.......Promising news so far but we can't sip it yet we have to decant it and get rid of the sediment that formed from all those long years sitting in the dark , cold place it was tucked away... I am pouring off the Spirit inside of me into a clean vessel. I am leaving the sediment behind. I am becoming something aged but new. I am willing to give up: Negative thoughts toward myself and others eating the commercially pushed empty foods of mass marketing The Image of what I thought I was supposed to be all these years Old thought processes that have not served me well personally formed impressions of the world being out to "Get Me" Self Punishment for things that are now my history Self denial of positive changes in my life Self imposed limits of who I am and can become feeling like I owe more to my family than I can give Keeping secrets about my life to people that try to help me Hurting my body by not respecting the gift it is from God Living the life of a victim Pushing my family away through my abusive language Living in fear of dying and facing my penalty for being so evil in my past my guilt for addictive behavior to Food through Binge eating my guilt for addictive behavior to alcohol by drinking myself into unconsciousness my guilt for addictive behavior to drugs by using them to numb the hidden pain in my youth my guilt for not being the perfect father to my 6 children my guilt for not being the perfect husband to my lovely bride Vikkie my guilt for all the sleepless nights and endless days my parents waited for me to come home not knowing if I was alive or dead. I am willing to give up my world as it was because it was a living hell. I am willing to give up anything that does not help shine the light of the spirit in my world. Thy Will Be Done In My Life, Dave
Here is a straight to the core assignment #11 for you! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I want to give up my own self concept and belief of not desrving the good things in life....I have many good opportunities that I at times avoid or talk myself out of...feeling I don't deserve them......I have been no angel in my past.....I feel guilty about all of the negative things I have done i...I therefore feel guilty now for enjoying good things that come to me in life....I get confused in my concepts with my spitituality and beliefs about God....I Believe The difficult challanges and downfalls in my life may be being dealt to me by God....and God and I know that I deserve worse consequences......... I feel I desrve a few more tough licks... And when they arrive ...I need not whine about them...take them as I get them....because I have been corrupt and my punishment should not be over...God should deal with me more.............................................. ................................................On e of my T.com friends (Just last night).............Listened to this belief of mine.....Helped me to identify thesee thoughts as misconceptions, and is now helping me to see........It has nothing to do with GOD.....It is my own self impoosed crap.and continuing guilt.......GOD wants me to Love and enjoy my life....God wants me To Be Free........He wants me to Live to the fullest....he forgives Me! ..........So I want to break free of these false negative life limiting concepts and live a full and glorious life and try my best to help others to live fully! ......................I want to forgive myself.~~~~~~Dan
WHAT DO I REALLY WANT??? I want to be a selfless person. I want to truly, in my innermost self care about other people more or at least as much as I care about my own self. I want to grow in my affectivness to those around me. I want to be able to help people. I want to be used by God to help his kids. I really, really do. God has saved my life from Drugs, Alcohol, Depression and ILL HEALTH and I owe him the rest of my life helping others obtain the same freedom. WHAT AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP? I MUST get rid of selfishness in my life. I MUST or it will kill me. I MUST get rid of the idea that I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. I must get rid of the since of intitlement that I have to sobriety and my idea that I WANT WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT IT. I must be willing to sacrifice my PRIDE and my EGO so that I may obtain true serenity and joy. Only God can make that possible for me and HE IS DOING IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
I will give up trying to do it my own way
This is has been the hardest assignment. Because I don't like to give anything up. I finally have answers and I feel so much better. ~I will give up who I am now... to become who I want to be. ~I will give up the negative thoughts... and replace them with positive affirmations. ~I will give up my expectations of reciprocity... I will do for others without looking for something in return. i will give for the sake of giving, not for what I will get in return. (It finally hit me just this morning what giving freely really means) ~I will give up my lack of patience and understanding... and realize that everyone has their own way and another way may be just fine. ~I will give up "my way" as the only way. ~I will give up an hour of my sleep to meditate and visualize for my family and for myself. ~I will give up the out-come to the process.
Transformation Assignment #11 This assignment really hit home for me. I struggled for several days and nights trying to find the right words to describe what I feel inside. When I thought about “giving up the fight” I actually became quite uncomfortable. I kept wondering to myself “why does this assignment make me feel so uneasy?” The more I thought about it, the more it became obvious that I am angry because I do not want to confront issues from my past. It has been much easier throughout my life to just forget the past and move on. The only problem with this is, although I have definitely moved on, I haven’t forgotten the past at all! I am still carrying around the same old baggage as always. Now, I would be the first one to admit I have my share of issues. I consider some more severe than others. For this assignment, I will examine an issue that I believe has been holding me back most of my life. In order for me to gain anything from this assignment I will try and be as honest as I can. I will begin by discussing something I have struggled with most of my life – my Dad! So here we go. From the time I was born until I was around eight years old my family was pretty much as normal as any other family. As far as I knew we were all happy and content and generally got along great. Around the time I turned eight years old though, my dad decided he needed something else out of life and walked out on our family. Without giving us any kind of explanation or any information as to where he was going, he just vanished. As I found out later on, my dad had quite a reputation in those days for drinking, gambling and chasing women, which certainly explains some of the reasons he may have left. It was devastating for my three sisters and me. It left us feeling alone, afraid, insecure and feeling unworthy. At times we blamed ourselves and felt we must have done something wrong to make him up and leave like that. I can remember thinking that he must really hate us. My dad was a construction engineer by trade and we later found out from my grandmother that he had taken a job building underwater sub-stations down in the Bahamas Islands. He was gone for almost 3 years and never phoned, wrote a letter, sent money or anything. It was as if he were dead. It really did a number on me. How we survived I’ll never know. My mom had a real hard time making ends meet and had to start working two jobs just to keep us in our home. At one point she even entertained to idea of putting us in an orphanage home so we would have a better life. I remember crying for three days straight and telling her “if I have to go there, I would run away”. Through the grace of God, she managed to keep our family together, but it was some of the worst and leanest years I ever experienced. My dad did eventually returned home, but continued over the next several years to fade in and out of our lives. He and my mother finally divorced when I was 14. My mom never re-married and mostly dedicated her life to raising us. My dad married again but it ended in divorce after 14 years. He lived alone for the remainder of his life and passed away in 1999 from lung cancer. Today, at 82, my mom is still hard at it and refuses to quit working, which I contribute to her good health! Now before I continue on, let me make something perfectly clear. I loved my dad dearly, heck we all did. Regardless of how many times he came in and out of our lives, we always took him back with open arms. He had a great personality, was very smart, was a lot of fun to be around, and made friends wherever he went. When he did come around, I really valued our time together. He taught me many valuable things as I grew up, and because he was a contractor, he taught me a lot about the construction business. This experience turned out to be very handy when it was time to build my own home. My dad managed to be more present in our lives after we became adults and he was very active in the lives of my two sons, which I am very grateful for today. Now with all that said, one may wonder why it has been so difficult for me to forget what he did to us. I often wonder about this too and ask myself, why would a grown man at my age, with his own happy family, still finds it hard to let go of the past. Beside, we all survived those years and went on to lead pretty productive lives. I also believe my dad loved us in his own strange way. As I worked on this assignment, I found it difficult figuring out why I have a hard time letting go of this particular part of my past. After pondering this for several days, and with the help of my best friend and wife, I have come to the conclusion that it’s because my dad never said he was sorry, plus he left so many questions unanswered. I guess at this point in my life it really shouldn’t matter anymore, but somehow it still does. Even on the day he passed away, I sat next to his bed and waited anxiously for him to look me in the eyes and say “son, I am sorry for the pain I caused you and your sisters when you were growing up”. Maybe I was expecting too much. Maybe I just wanted the opportunity to tell him how he made us feel. As it turned out, I never got the chance to say the things I really felt. Over the years I have tried to make peace with this, but it never fails to work its way back into my life, especially during difficult times. I guess one reason is I feel he was directly responsible for all my insecurities. Since I was a kid I have struggled with negativity, low self-esteem and the feeling of being unworthy. I definitely believe these things had a direct effect on my inability to reach my full potential in life. Today as I work hard to transform myself internally I am reminded of Bill’s description for “giving up the fight” and what it really means. What I really desire out of my transformation is to gain a new perspective on life and about myself. Once and for all I want to be free of my past and stop blaming my dad for how my life has turned out. I want to accept that the things my dad did were his choices, not mine. I want to let go of the fears and insecurities that have held me back from reaching my full potential. I want to set a better example for my family and become more effective at dealing with life’s hardships. I want to give up and let go of the things I cannot change and concentrate more on the things I can. I want to forgive my dad for never apologizing to me and except that he did the best he could while he was alive on this earth. I want to be thankful for the good times we shared and cherish my memories of him. I want to quit this life of self-sabotage and concentrate more on controlling what I think and feel. I want to finally lay to rest this lifelong battle with my past and surrender myself to a more peaceful and fulfilling existence. Today, as I look in the mirror at myself, I see a much different person than I did 11 weeks ago. I see a face that is smiling back at me. I see a more lean and muscular body, and for the first time in eight years I feel good about my future. I see myself heading in the right direction and my confidence is growing stronger by the day. I know I still have a long way to go, but I am ready to work even harder at making my transformation last a lifetime, not just 18 weeks. So today, in order to continue making positive progress towards my goals, I will commit myself to stop living in the past, and to begin living my life in a way that will promote, good health, happiness, and prosperity! I appreciate Bill challenging me to dig a little deeper this week. Although this assignment was a tough one for me, I do feel it will be beneficial in helping me reach a higher level of awareness during the remainder of my transformation, and I am truly grateful for that. Greg
I truly want to be a happy person again and bring harmony into the lives of my family. Being overweight and unhealthy has also corrupted me mentally. I am giving up the fight, the hatred, fear, envy, loathing, and excuses that have created this mess of a man.
ASSIGNMENT #11 – GIVING UP THE FIGHT Q#1 from Bill: “What do I want out of this transformation experience?” In the very beginning of this journey, my easy answer was to lose weight. As time has passed, as assignments have been completed, and as I have traveled this Transformation journey, there is so much more than weight loss that I want out of this transformation experience. The first and most important thing that I want out of this transformation experience is to have an even closer relationship with the Lord. That is the key to success in every area of my life. That is the key to happiness, to peace, to joy, to basically everything, and yes, even to weight loss. Everything else that I have answered time and time again on these assignments are subservient to this one desire – More of Jesus, Less of Me. At times in my life I have had a very close walk with the Lord, and at other times it has been more distant. I do want to “truly feel alive, healthy, happy, and inspired” as Bill stated, but none of this will truly be there unless my relationship is solid with the Lord. I do desire to be liberated from fear, worry, guilt and selfishness – I very much desire all of these things as well as a healthy body – and again, the answer to having all of this is in having that “oneness” with the Lord. About a week ago I found in one of my old journals a writing that I had done as part of my daily Bible study time sometime back. It was very timely to help me get through this last very stressful week and tonight as I read Assignment #11, I discover it is even more timely in relation to this assignment. I had written: “The Gospel is the Power of God for those who believe. Gospel=the Word of God. Power=the ability to get results. Those who believe=the person who believes with a personal trust and confident surrender and firm reliance.” I was experiencing a great deal of stress at the time I was doing the study and writing what I was learning from my time with the Lord. “Stress is the alternative to leaning on God. Stress usually comes from the frustrations of toiling and trying to obtain certain desired results by my own efforts. Desired results are available to those who have a personal trust, confident surrender, and a firm reliance in the Word of God.” So the first step toward removing stress is for me to begin working in, moving in and operating in the Power of God, rather than in my own power. In order to do this, I must no longer depend solely on my own understanding or abilities. When I am being stressed or when I am fearful or when I am feeling insecure and like a failure, I am leaning on my own abilities to work through these circumstances. Trust means that I am relying on the Word to guide me, to give me wisdom and insight. Bill’s second question: What am I willing to give up to get what I want? In order to get what I want from this Transformation and from life in every area is I have to give up CONTROL! I have to give up my selfish desire to be in charge! I have to surrender me and learn to trust in the Lord in all circumstances. I have to give up the fight!! I have to remember that I cannot make things happen. Trusting God would mean giving up my worry, my stress, my fear, and replacing it with confidence in the absolute power of the Lord to achieve the desired results – HIS desired results, not mine. My belief must be combined with confidence (faith). Under stress I sometimes act quickly and out of desperation, not confidence. I must get into the Word more and more to increase my confidence (faith). The closer I get to the Lord, the more confidence I will have in trusting Him in all areas of my life. More time with the Lord must be a Priority!! God’s Word is my Power, my Foundation, my Final Authority on everything. Rather than trying to be in control and take my own action and plan my own desired results, I must first go to the Lord and surrender every area to Him. The more time I spend in the Word and in prayer, the more my Faith and Confidence will increase. As my faith and confidence is increased in the Lord, I will BE THE CHANGE. As my mind is being transformed by surrendering control, I know my body, my emotions, every area of my life will be Transformed as well! God has guaranteed me peace, rest, victory, wisdom, direction and all that I need in every situation if I just surrender to Him. God has equipped me with talents and abilities to carry out His plan. His plan for me is to reach out and touch many lives to help them Transform! This is ultimately what I REALLY WANT! I look forward to moving forward under His Power and His Control rather than mine and seeing how He uses me to carry out His Purpose and His Plan to help many others Transform! Believing this in my heart is easy …. convincing my mind and body to surrender at all times is much harder … but it is worth the effort to continually be working on surrendering. Just as I work to Transform my body to have more lean muscle mass and be healthier, I at all times must be working on Surrendering Control!! On with the journey to Transformation!!
What am I wiling to give up? 1. I am willing to accept that I am not perfect and I cannot please all of the people all of the time. I am giving up these expectations. I am not going to be perfect but I will make progress to be the best I can be physically, mentally and spiritually. 2. I am giving up the feeling of embarassment and shyness that is associated with my weight and my anxiety disorder. I am tired of being a hostage in my own mind and body. I want to win my life back! 3. i am willing to let God help me and show me the way instead of doing everything on my own and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation? What do you really want? I want fellowship and intimacy with God. I want to walk day by day in God’s will fulfilling my God-given purpose. I want to be a light and an example to everyone around me and those I come in contact with. I want to be free from fear, worry, self-doubt, anger, guilt, selfishness, negativity, a critical spirit, approval addiction, people pleasing and a victim mentality. I want to be confident, self-assured, strong, peaceful, positive, optimistic, encouraging, supportive, loving, giving, humble, walking in faith, trusting, whole, organized, authentic and honest. I want to be a loving and supportive mom and wife. Physically I want to be lean, tone, thin, muscular, strong, sexy, healthy, light, energized, well, alive, vibrant, happy and joyful. What are you willing to give up to get it? I am willing to give up: Control – of outcomes, results, people and situations, things that I cannot change. I am willing to trade control for trust. Trust in God with every area of my life. Trust in God’s sovereignty and wisdom. Trust in God for my future. Trust in the process of transformation. Trust in people who God has allowed to be in my life. Trust in myself to do the right thing and believe that I can. Fear – and replace it with faith. Fear is paralyzing while faith is freeing. I will stop fearing the unknown and the things I cannot control. I will put my faith in God and expect great results in my life because God is working through me teaching me to be who He created me to be and to be the best me. I will give up my fear of not achieving my goals and replace them with faith that I CAN with God’s help, achieve what I set out and desire to achieve. Procrastination and perfectionism. I will tackle things head on, learning to welcome things that are difficult or uncomfortable understanding that dealing with them rather than running from them builds character and produces a positive end result. I will give up perfectionism for progress. Negative thoughts and words. I will take captive every thought that is defeating and destructive, surrending it to God and replacing it with thoughts that are pure, lovely, positive, true and uplifting. I will not allow my mind to be on cruise control or waste time in “mindlessness”. I will think about what I am thinking about and practice mindfulness. Anger – and replace it with forgiveness and love. Taking – and start giving more. An attitude of weakness – and replace it with strength. I will stop viewing myself as weak and needy and I will realize the God given strength that is inside of me to accomplish the seemingly impossible. I will start living in confidence trusting that I can be of help to others even while I am still learning myself. Need for man’s approval – and replace it God’s truth. I am a child of God, fully acceptable, worthy, loved and it right standing with God through faith in God, not through my own good works. I no longer need to live for man, I only need to walk in the wholeness I already have in Christ Jesus. A critical spirit. I don’t know where this comes from but I find myself often times feeling critical of others. Perhaps it’s from years of low-self esteem and trying to make myself feel better about myself. Regardless, I want to release this critical spirit and replace it with an uplifting spirit. A spirit that sees the good in everyone and focuses on the strengths of others rather than their weakness. I want to lift others up not tear them down with my words or thoughts. Running – FROM fear, pain, trials, responsibility and run INTO each storm and trial that I face. I want to face things head on and welcome the adversity for that is how I will learn from it and gain freedom. Belief that I CAN’T and WON’T and replace it with I CAN and I WILL…no matter what the situation or circumstance. Being a victim and being helpless for being a VICTOR and being HELPFUL. Ego in any form it comes in. The evil scale and the power it holds over me. I have allowed the number on the scale to control me far too long and define my worth. I have allowed it over the past few weeks of my transformation to rob my momentum, excitement and progress. I will retire the scale until the end of week 18. I will NOT allow this device to tell me who I am and what I am made of. Physically – lazyness, apathy, “I deserve it” mentality when it comes to food.
What do I want and what will I give up to get it? I want my children to be able to say with honesty that their mother ensured values in them that makes them want to be hard-workers, ensure they strive to do their best, to always be honest with themselves and others, live life for Chirst, always be positive when the chips are down, have confidence in themselves, and to ensure they nourish and exercise their bodies in a positive way. Also, that I am a loving, caring and giving person who is always there when needed. What will I give up? Old habits that brings me down. What are these habits you ask, the opposite of what I want my children to say about me.
**This has been the most EMPOWERING, wonderful assignment yet for me. THANK YOU Bill..this is a huge turning point for me.*** Giving Up The Fight -What do I really want? -What am I willing to give up to get it? ************************************** I want to be happy, healthy and "FREE". I want a strong relationship with my Lord. I want LIGHT and PEACE within. I want to help others. I want to be open. I am willing to give up giving up trying to do it "Dana's Way"! I am willing to give up giving up the hate, pain, bitterness, darkness & jealousy in my heart that comes from holding onto my past. I will not let my past determine my future any longer! I am willing to have STOPPED RESISTING God's Will and the signs I recieve. I will am letting go of the walls I have built around my heart and soul, and the walls of fat I have built up around my body! I will give am giving up the belief that I can not trust people! I will give am giving up the darkness and hate to allow room for the LIGHT and LOVE! I am letting go/giving up my "excuses" for not working out. I am giving up being lazy! I am giving up Instant Gratification! I am giving up the power I have allowed food to have over my life! I am giving up the ways I have previously dealt with stress: Food addiction, self-sabotage, violence, hiding away from life. I am giving up trying to be perfect. I am giving up trying to be Someone else! I am giving up a negative self-image and the "Pity-Party" mentality! I am giving up the "Clutter" not only in my home, but in my heart, mind and body! I am giving up Me to God! I am giving up seeking validation from others. I am giving up the fight/resisting the Process! I am giving up the emptiness, loneliness and depression! I am giving up taking the Easy way out! I am giving up worrying & negative people. I am giving up TV for sleep & workouts! I am giving up being competitive, judgemental, and close-minded. I am letting go of negative self-talk and binding beliefs! * When I first wrote this out, I was writing in the "future-tense" (ex: I am willing to...) I went back and crossed those "future words" out and put them into what I feel is a much more powerful statement. :)
What am I willing to give up in order to get what I really want out of this transformation experience? This assignment really got me thinking about my past and the things that I've done. For the most part, I think I've had a wonderful life. I have a beautiful wife that I love and cherrish so much and has stuck with me through the difficult times over the past 8.5 years. My 3 children are so beautiful, healthy, and full of life! I have a secure job and a roof over our heads and bed to sleep in. While I was in the military, I met so many people of different backgrounds, traveled to different countries, and have helped people ,in the physical sense, to get their lives and bodies back together and into an everyday living regimen. My immediate and in laws are devoted to being there at any moment to assist me in my endeavors or hardships. These are the great needs in life and the wonderful opportunities that I've had. With all of this though, I have ALWAYS had a never ending fight being harbored deep within me. I have always fought it and now I so sick and tired of the fight! This fight is the knowing of where my true place is in this world and if I'm on the right path physically, mentall, and spiritually. Within each path there have been smaller battles but in the end, it comes down to me not fulfilling the expectations of what I know I can do but don't do it. I have a hunch that it's all in part of me not fully completing choices and tasks that I have set for myself. For example, I'm a person that loves the Lord, loves books, loves exercise, loves the outdoors, and loves college and learning... but... I never completely devote my time and effort into completing a task in these lvoes. I have a book right now that I want to read so much but haven't finished it. I have tasks at home that I want to do but I haven't finished them. I love walking in the outdoors and going on hikes and yet I never actually go and do them. In my mind, it just seems like I never complete a task and continue to place more tasks on top of them. Now, I think back and there are so many things I want to get done but have so much to do that I don't know where to start. I get clustered in my head but help others like it's like riding a bicycle. I just don't get it! But, with this transformation, I have really thought things through a lot more and don't want to have that scatter brain feeling any more. I want PEACE... spiritually and mentally... and to have it transform my entire life into a prosperous and devoted way of life. I will give everything to have peace and transformity because I know that it is for the greater good for me, my family, and others that I touch. This inner transformation will shine through and bring my overall transformation to the highest peak. I have found some books that will enable me to find my inner self and help mold a better physical transformation. Everyone knows of Body for Life and soon I will purchase Bill's latest book "Transformation. For my spiritual healing, I'm using the book "The Purpose Driven Life". Mentally, I'm trying to decrease the noise and volume, so I'm reading "The Secret" which will help me to visualize what I want my life to become. A lot of the assignments have dabbed on this subject within The Secret and I know it will help immensely to bring union and balance to my life. Again, I am bringing everything I am to this transformation and believe whole heartedly in the Transformation process and will do whatever it takes to be fully happy inside and out.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? What do I want? For this answer I want to revisit my assignment #4 which was my transformation purpose. For assignment #4 I listed 3 things. 1) To live as God intended me to, with purpose. 2) To stay focused and organized 3) Remain positive What will I be willing to give up in order to get what I want? This question really is making me think about how I’m going about this transformation. One of my T-friends, Onecoatpro has a Mantra that I’m going to borrow for this assignment…Focused Intensity… I have been reading my assignment #4 every day since I wrote it down…I have to admit that I haven’t really intensely focused on it until now. First off, in order for me to live how God has intended me to, I need to learn how God wants me to live. I have to be honest and say that I don’t really know what that is right now. Sure, be nice to people and treat them like you want to be treated. I could act like I know how God really wants us to live, but there is more to than that. I am willing to give up the time necessary to study bible doctrine, and learn how God really wants me to live, and what purpose I will serve. I will read bible doctrine for 20 minutes every day. Staying focused and organized is a big issue with me. I’m staying focused on my food and workouts. At work I’m always focused and organized, I have to be for what it is that I do. The problem that I have is my time management. Although it has gotten better over the last five weeks, it is still a weak part of my life in general. I’m willing to set small goals on a weekly basis to help me stay organized and to help keep my focus. I have to become a creature of habit in a sense. My ability to remain positive has increased so much in the last five weeks, but there is still a lot of work needed. It seems that I don’t fully understand the fact that I have the choice to make every day a GREAT day. I’m willing to let go of things that get me emotionally attached to feeling bad. For instance, if I wake up late I won’t let it affect my entire day. I’m willing to take it moment by moment if I need to. I’ll continue to focus on my 2 signs of progress every day. I’ll stop dwelling on the negative. My final thoughts on this….I will trust God, and I will trust the Transformation Process. I’m willing to connect with more people on T.com and ask advice for the issues I face.
This has hit me right between the eyes like nothing else on this page ever has. It is the most important assignment for me personally yet. Thank you Bill What do I truly want out of this transformation? I want faith not fear. I want freedom not imprisonment. I want truth not lies. I want safety and security. I want order. I want strength. I definitely want love and friendship. I want true intimacy and closeness. I want lots of laughter. I want a life worth remembering. I want to leave a legacy. I want to leave everyone better than I found them. I want my kids to be proud of me. I want my husband to be madly in love with me. I want to be madly in love with my husband. I want to enjoy my life. I want joy and peace. I want to serve others, especially in my community. I want to publish my books and be a speaker. I want to dance again. I want to paint again. I want to reawaken my creativity. I want to have sons in addition to my four lovely daughters. I want to pay of our debt. I want to buy our own home. I want to plant trees and flowers, strawberries and veggies in my own garden. I want to run with out tiring. I want to work hard. I want to relax. I want good books to read and not feel guilty while doing it. I want to enjoy being with my kids and teach them what is important to me. I want to feel my Heavenly Father's love for me and see everyone I come in contact with as who they truly are: a child of God. I want a strong, healthy, fit, lean, beautiful body. I want to forgive. I want chocolate on my free day and strawberries right now! I want to go to Hawaii. I want to go to Germany to see my family. What am I willing to let go of and give up to achieve this? I choose to let go of all false parts of myself that are not in accordance with my Heavenly Father's will for me. I choose to let go of all the drama, all the soap opera crap, the fake tears, the theatrics, the manipulating, the lying and deceiving of myself and others. I choose to let go of my anger toward my parents. I am giving up my bitterness, my feeling of worthlessness, my resentments, my hurts. I give up my feeling of superiority of always either feeling better than or less than, but never truly standing on equal footing with somebody. I give up judgement and choose to love instead. I am dropping my baggage, I am letting go of the hurts, the insults, the wounds. I give up feeling offended frequently, the habit of waiting for somebody to say something that could somehow be construed to be hurtful in any way. I give up being the victim and instead choose to be the author of my own life. I take responsibility of my actions. I give up blaming, shaming, pointing fingers. I give up being the most annoying nag ever to walk the earth. I give up the need to punish people, to make them miserable for what I perceive they have done to me and instead let God deal with it. I give up watching TV that makes me dumber for having watched it. I give up Reality TV and create my own reality instead. I give up yelling and instead choose to speak kindness and be a soft place to fall for my husband and my children. I give up seeking attention from men. I give up seeking approval and recognition. I give up the feeling of not belonging. I give up putting junk into my mouth, my eyes, my ears, my brain, my heart. I will seek after all that is good and worthwhile. I give up being lazy and procrastinating. I give up fear and hatred. I give up cursing in my head. I give up being a hypocrite. I give up thinking I'll only get my needs met if I scream and yell and force people to listen to me. I give up holding back.
What do I want? The shallow answer: I want a healthy, sexy body. I don't want to be fat anymore. I want to be fit. I don't want this ugly nasty belly to hang over anymore. I don't want arms the size of tree trunks unless they are rock hard muscle. I'm tired of not looking good in anything I wear. I'm tired of not being able to dance in certain places just because I'm fat. I want to not hurt anymore in my feet, my shoulders, my back. I'm tired of the pain but I don't want to live the rest of my life on pharmaceuticals. I don't want to worry about diabetes or heart disease or colon cancer because I don't eat right. I want to live long enough to see and enjoy having grandchildren. I want to celebrate my 100th birthday. I want to be. The deeper answer: I want to like who I am. I want to be less negative about everything. I want to WANT to give more time and more of myself to my children and to my husband and expect NOTHING in return. I want to be more understanding when others make mistakes. I want to be less of a perfectionist, more of an optimist, more friendly, more trusting, more loving, more giving. What are you willing to give up to get it? I don't know. I don't know what I need to give up to get what I want. This has been the hardest assignment for me. Nearly as hard as #4, maybe more so. Bill says give up the fight. In fact he says that once we have identified what we want and if what we want serves the greater good, then us that it has the potential to happen. "Next, we simply need to do what we need to do, to make the changes that we’re responsible for making in our thoughts, intentions, and actions. And once we’ve done that, we can let it be." Now this is where I feel like I'm up against a brick wall. I KNOW what to do for the easy answer. Giving up junk food, exercising, keeping the exercise and nutrition diary. I don't know what I need to do to acheive the deeper answer. The problem I've had all these years is that I would start working on the outer me and then I'd end up doing something that made me realize that maybe I really didn't deserve this and quit. Like last night, I yelled at the daughter. I could justify and say she wasn't doing what she was asked to do, she wasn't taking care of her responsibilities, but that doesn't at all justify me yelling at her. Especially when I tell her "after I do this and this and this for you, you can't do this 1 little thing that will benefit the family?" That statement is completely contradictory to what I want. To give and do for the ones I love and expect nothing in return. I'm not about to quit, not this time. But I don't know how to fix the parts of me that I think are broken.
What I need to give up is baggage,and live in the moment. This baggage weighs me down incredibly. I realize this because i went to a dance party with my 3 year old last night and I was amazed at the incredible time I had. I was in living in the moment, enjoying myself. I had no expectations, and my only concern was that my daughter was having fun. And of course-she's 3-so she was in true bliss, and so was I. What a eye opener. I have so many spiritually inspiring books-I am always studying how I can be better, live better. At the end of the day though-I oftenfind myself unsatisfied with my thinking or behavior. Last night-it was just like-this is it-this is the way to be. No expectations, just sending out love unconditionally, no baggage- or intense self talk. Pure bliss. So many times I've attended social functions and found myself connscious or dissapointed because of lack of attention. I think this is what Bill is talking about-drop the ego, the expectations, get out of my own way. Live in the moment, drop the negative thinking and habits-and get in touch with my inner bliss! I love it! I am so excited!! :)
What am I willing to give up in order to get what I really want out of this transformation experience? It seems a little funny that this is the question immediately following my explanation in Assignment #10 about letting the questions sink in so I can feel the answers and not try to force out words… This question is so relevant in my life in the past couple weeks that I can answer it quickly yet still be true to my complete feelings: First I guess we have to review what I really want out of this transformation – which I answered in Assignment #4 and #5. My Answer to #4: “My family life COULD get better, my relationship with my wife COULD get better, my relationship with my friends (trust me - after a good hard count, I still can't believe how few "real friends" I have allowed into my life) COULD get better, I could help others more... but NOT UNTIL I fixed some real serious and fundamental issues with ME. Yes, for ME! So, this has been a long answer to a short but difficult question. The purpose for me making the transformation is because I need to fix ME. I need to change the way I am inside with myself - rid myself of all the negative energy - only then do I have the potential to make the external things better. Only then do I have the ability to reach the highest potential in all aspects of my life.” My Answer to #5: “Spiritual / Internal Goals during transformation: 1) to find and become comfortable with myself 2) to become stronger spiritually 3) become less self-centered and more outwardly aware 4) Be more charitable, more helpful and more giving 5) Keep myself centered, calm and learn to not try to control everything” I had gone through ~8 weeks with reading/studying and practicing certain aspects, but I was still holding on, I was still trying to gain control and that was putting me on a pendulum of ups and downs. I was having temporary success by learning how to let go of the thoughts when they came into my mind, but the frequency of those thoughts still bothered me. It finally clicked one night – I am not sure I would call it even a conscious decision – but all of a sudden it hit me… I was stuck because I was refusing to let go – not just let go of a single decision, but let go of my entire desire to control. I actually think I used the words “give up the fight inside.” It suddenly became clear that I needed to truly let go of my ego, my pride, my lower habits. Once I made this statement to myself, I suddenly felt lighter. Since that night, I feel more comfortable – still a long way to go and I need to remind myself and do some quick re-check and reflection – but definitely along the right path. Namaste - Robert
Wow....this is a deep one for sure. I know I want the physical change. That has been evident in my actions for the past 10 and a half weeks. Other than that....this answer has come from the very beginning....I am hungry for love. Now I am not talking about family love or love from my son, or even friendship love...cause I have that in bucket fulls. I am talking about true romantic, life companinon, soul mate kind of love. Now, this is super scary for me, becuase I am in a relationship that has been going on for about 5 years. The fact that I don't even know the exact amount of time shows my commitiment for it. It is a hard broken relationship that I am not sure how to even go about fixing or if it's even possible. Is one able to fix a relationship all by themself? Does the other person have to be willing to change as well? I don't know. So, I am will to give up any preconceived notions I have about relationships workin. I am willing to give up being right. WOW! That will be a tough one for sure! I am willing to stop being a victim in this relationship and life in general. I will have to give up my laziness on housework. I have made great progress in giving up foul language...and I will continue in this. I will give up having to have a comeback for every remark made to me. I will give up my short temper on days that I'm really tired on. Looking at this list scares me to death....sometimes I know that is what makes it right. I am going to have to open myself back up to love and give up the fear of my heart being stomped on...cuase truely I have been hiding from love for the past 5 years. Jennifer
What do I want? I want the second half of my life to be better than the first half. I want to be more involved instead of letting circumstances control my actions. What am I willing to give up? I'm giving up old habits like, not thinking about situations before just jumping in and volunteering. Working smarter not harder in my business.
What do I want? To live my life intentionally and with purpose. What am I willing to give up? All of the old habits and patterns that created the old Mary Anne to begin with. I am well on my way creating a person that I am unfamiliar with but in the same breath I love waking up to everyday. She is in tune with herself and the environment around her. She is making conscious decisions on her eating, exercising, spiritual self and others. Every day is lived with more intent and less mindlessness. This is such a huge growing step for me. I no longer am letting the world around me dictate my thoughts, actions and emotions. I have taken control and it feels so good. I no longer feel guilty when I do, say or think something for myself. For way too long I have lived other peoples lives. I never thought I mattered much and copied other peoples lives. Not anymore, its my life, its my story, its about time I started writing it and living it. I am Mary Anne DeAngelo and I matter in this world! Thank you Bill and the T. Community for helping me realize this! I could not have done it alone. Much love and prayers.
This assignment is really has two parts: 1) What do you REALLY want out of this process AND 2) What are you willing to give up? I have to say, I am struggeling with the spiritual side of the transformation. I have been a Christian for about 19 years now, and have been very spiritual. But as of late, I'm in a funk. I feel lost. I feel alone, and have not really desired to go deaper again. Too much let down by people. And I think I have projected that to God as well. I have stopped searching for more. I started questioning a lot. I love God, it's just his people I have issue with. So when it boils down, I really just wanted a physical transformation. Knowing it would help me have a better self image, more endurance, would look better, but mostly look better. There it is. Very vain and self centered. I am willing to give up my time. I am willing to do more. Run more. There it is. Not deep at all. But the honest truth. For me it is about regaining a more youthful and attractive exterior.
There are three main things that I am willing to give up. I am giving up judging myself. I just want to be who I truly am and I want to get out of my own way. I am giving up fearing judgment of others. It's not possible to live fully while wondering what others are thinking of me. I can't please everyone. I can only focus on pleasing myself--it is the only way. I'm also giving up holding myself back, which is a long time habit. It really has a lot to do with the first two issues. I have to believe in myself and unconditionally love myself to move forward. I have to go ahead with being who I am and stop holding myself back in fear of what other people are thinking of me. It's time to get out of my comfort zone and take some risks.
I willing to give up what gets in the way of my transformation. I feel strength every day knowing I'm going to have what most don't have or even want. I just want to be healthy and enjoy the life I was given. I want the BODY too.
What do I really want? Spiritual connection to God above all else. What am I willing to give up to get it? Freedom from fear and anything that distracts me from Connection and my purpose.
I am here to write my assignment, but as I sit here at the ready I am overcome with an immense rush of emotion. I have much to write about and will ask you to refer to my blog. I do not want to take up a lot of room. Bill I hope you don't mind me posting this song with my blog as it is exactly what it means to me as to what I must do.~Derek
What am I willing to give up in order to get what I really want out of this transformation experience? I would have to say the first thing that comes to mind is PRIDE! By nature we are proud creatures and do not want to admit when we have been wrong. An apology goes along way. Why is it then, for some of us, hard to apologize when we offend someone. I don't think that it's not that we don't regret our actions or care (I know that I do, when I've acted like an insane lunatic). I think that pride and ego really get in the way. When we admit we are wrong, that implies that we need to change something about ourselves. Who wants to change? Our carnal nature that we were born with says "I am perfect, and everyone else just needs to accept me for who I am". Now I am not talking that we shouldn't love ourselves. We should love ourselves, as Christ loves us, in spite of our imperfections. A step further, because of our imperfections! Pride gets in the way of everything. Part of not wanting to change on the outside, is that I would have to admit to myself, that I have been wrong all these years. Sometimes I feel that I have had more challenges than alot of people. But, what about the people who overcame their challenges that were 10 times harder than mine. By giving up pride, I am willing to change whatever is holding me back. When things really hit home, and I get really emotional (like now), I know I am being totally honest with myself. Part of me is so excited that I am really getting to know myself. The carnal part says , WHAT? What are you talking about, I AM PERFECT! I am feeding the kitten from now on, No longer will I feed that wolf that only takes and never gives back! (see assignment #7 for full story). Until Next time, xoxo, Terri
My second time around! Transforming doesn't stop as long as you believe you can experience and be something more. The work that can be done in Denise and how I can better serve God will never cease. What do I really want? To serve God and all of His creation, to live fully, to give the best of me, and LOVE with every action, word and deed. What am I willing to give up to get it? EXPECTATIONS! I need to let go of how I expect to be understood. It really is quite impossible for anyone to understand me. All of me. I've been allowing myself to be held back because of my need to be understood 100% of the time, by 100% of the people I encounter. It's not going to happen and I need to be completely okay with that. I need to not be affected when others don't get me, don't support me, and maybe not even like me. (especially since I've finally determined God loves me no matter what, and so do I - WOW that was along time coming and feels so really good, GREAT!) EXPECTATIONS! I need to let go of how I expect the future to unfold. I can't rush my vision; God's vision. The one that's been placed in my heart, my soul and my head by our Heavenly Father and Creator. I'm to participate in it, not dictate how quickly it happens. If I just do my part, God will do the rest. He's been very loud and clear on this lately. I have had a problem running when He says walk and walking when He says run. I will get in sync with Him eventually. The sooner I stop expecting and just start experiencing, the sooner I will know peace and joy AGAIN. I really want to return to that. EXPECTATIONS! I need to let go of how I expect others to embrace transformation. Everyone is entitled to their life, their choices, and at what pace they do the work - or choose not to. It doesn't serve God, me, or anyone else, when I expect too much from my role in someone else's transformation or too much from someone else's role in mine. People can't change people. My example is the best gift I have; the best way I can serve. I need to move forward, doing my work, and leave it to God and his other children how they do theirs. LIVING IN THE MOMENT! IF YOU ARE FULLY PRESENT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING, NOT EXPECTING!!!
I'm willing to let go of my past. The hurt I've been through, the bad people I've had in my past, the mistakes I've done, the hurt I've caused. I have to give up my past, and look forward. From this day, I can no longer blame the past. I'm going to look forward now. I'm giving it up, and it can no longer hold me back.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? When I first found this site I was elated, FINALLY! I had done three challenges successfully in 01-02’ and found great success physically. I missed something in my spiritual/mental state of existing. The pressures of being a ‘role’ model at our local gym consumed me and I returned to comforting my misunderstandings of what people’s intentions were and what I expected from myself. I have done some SERIOUS soul searching and digging within myself these past five years with a phenomenal life coach, Elisa. She taught me SO MUCH about what I was fearful of and how I manifested that through negative self talk and allowing my ego to decide my fate at the end of the day. This was (at the time) devastating to me. What and How was I going to find the true me within if I had to face my past behaviors and insecurities. I had to learn to trust people and not be on guard from them contemplating them hurting me emotionally or physically. The most important was allowing me to hear me say to me, “I love you, and you are worthy!” I bought every book in sight that had anything to do with bettering ME. The answer had to be somewhere in those books, and some were while other repeated the one thing I always knew, “In order to love it starts from within.” I hadn’t ever loved myself because I spent a lifetime of regretting, defending, deflecting, hiding, and padding my spirit from others to protect me. I read a book one day that forever changed my way of thinking and acting. I took the information from the book and what I’d learned from Elisa and step by step, day by day, I allowed a piece of me to emerge. It started with my very intimate relationship with me, and then with my husband, and the effect spread as I opened me up to others and simply BE. I never knew the woman the resided in me until I allowed her to BE. I gave up my prejudgment of others and me. I gave up worrying “IF” thing were going to happen how would they. I gave up on living in the ‘IF” realm of reality and simply surrendered to “BEING PRESENT” HERE! NOW! Transformation.Com is the icing on the journey for me. I have done SO MUCH WORK SPIRITUALLY that this is simply a reward, a bonus round, in emerging from within my authentic self for the word to see. I am no longer fearful of what others think, or judgment, or wondering “what if” – I AM PRESENT, REAL, and AUTHENTIC, I AM A SUPERWOMAN! I have giving up judging me and holding myself back and simply BEING PRESENT to the process of living and transforming. So many stand in their own way and forget the beauty in simply BEING one with ourselves and mother earth. I am honored to take this journey and hope that through my journey and experiences I inspire others to want to BE PRESENT in their lives.
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? If I had answered this question nine weeks ago when I started the transformation, I would have simply said, "I want to lose weight and get in shape." That is the real reason I started my journey. But it didn't take long to figure out that the getting in shape reason wasn't my TRUE reason for being here and going through the transformation. What I really want to get out of this is -- being the "real" me. I've always had a vision of the person I could be; should be. A strong, healthy, goal-oriented, task-finishing, kind, caring, forgiving, , in-shape, out-of-debt, motivated, motivating leader. Someone who loves God, his family, his work, his friends, and his every-day life. A man who is the best dad he can be; best husband he can be; best Christian he can be; along with being the best friend, best son, best citizen, best worker, and best member of society that he can be. I've always known that I CAN be that person. I was born to be that person. God blessed me with the talents and ability to be that person. But I have never allowed myself to be that person. The "real" Brett. That's what I want from this transformation. Now, what am I willing to give up to get it? I'm willing to give up the "old" Brett. The tired, weak-minded, unhealthy, procrastinating, sarcastic, sometimes-hateful, jealous, unforgiving, overweight, in-debt, unmotivated, and uninspirational follower. I'm willing to do the work to rid myself of those old habits once and for all, and develop new, healthy habits to create my greatest life possible. I'm giving up the easy road of laziness and instant-gratification, and heading down a new road that I've wanted to take for so long. It's time to close the door on that chapter of my life. It was long, tiring, and disappointing chapter -- and I don't need to look back at it anymore. I'm so tired of looking back on the many failures of my life and wishing, "Gosh, I wish I hadn't done that. Gosh, I wish I had just done what I know was the right thing, and the thing I know I needed to do." I am here to stop that pattern. In the future, when I look back on my life (post-transformation), I want to be able to say, "Man, I really did a good job. I made difference in my life and others' lives. I took what God gave me and to the best of my ability, used it for something good; something meaningful." Good-bye, "old" Brett. Hello, "real" Brett.
Assignment # 11 “What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience?” Excellent Assignment as with Eastern traditions of spiritually, which has a tendency to “drop” the Self’s Ego, and seek to albeit deny any interaction with it, whereas the Western tradition acknowledges it’s existence, and value, in making or bringing about a “situation” or “event” needed to evolve the spirit from IT’s own “Involution” or self-centeredness. It is in that “letting go” of the pent up (self focused, wound tight as a coiled spring) personal energy that is the “Force” that propels the need and eventually the “change” required for that next step to light. Good Stuff here! As one should be very selective with the shoes they purchase and ware daily as they support our actions, or aware of the food they intake so too should one be selective with what they allow in their minds. AND ONCE AGAIN Mr. Bill has brought to the table a dish that is both palatable AND healthy, thank you. I have and will continue to give up: 1. Self pity which is as a torn garden hose wasting its energy prior to reaching its intent or focus 2. Defensive Posture a deliberate hardening of my exterior to minimize unwanted interactions “a repelling force.” 3. Inertia defiance of a law that I’ve allowed to “come to rest” in my being. Newton’s First Law of Motion “The vis insita, or innate force of matter is a power of resisting, by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavors to preserve in its present state, whether it be of rest, or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.” 4. Self Destructive Acts to numb the pain, memories, and loss, in an attempt to lay this body down and rest. And in so doing come to terms that there is yet more to do, feel, experience regardless of my personal wants of just being free from life. .
This is very hard, I don't "let things go" very easily. I better put this one in my blog, its gonna be long.
This is an assignment that will continue to be revisited! This assignment made me go back to assignment #1 and make some changes. Please see my blog to see how assignment 11 has affected my assignment one. Hop
"Give up" has never been in my vocabulary! I never thought about the balance of needing to give up anything until this challenge when I realized I needed to let go of my "All or Nothing" attitude. I will take this a step further now and post on my blog "My Surrender". I need to devote some time to deep thought first. I thank God for leading me here.
Giving Up the Fight So now, please consider... What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? Please share your insight, answers and revelations in the comments section below. I am willing to give up the idea that this is a competition and that I am trying to win. I am willing to give up the idea that I need to be like other transformation champions and current contestants. I am willing to let my own transformation journey and God lead me where it may. I am willing to let go of the idea that I know best and even more willing to learn from others who have been through this process before me as well as those journeying along side me now and the people who will begin the process behind me. I am willing to give up the idea that I need to impress others. I am willing to let go of my idea's about being the perfect man, the perfect husband, the perfect father, the perfect salesman, the perfect son, the perfect christian, the perfect transformation contestant, as well as my ideas about what the perfect man, husband, father, salesman, son, christian, and contestant should look like physically. All of these previous ideas were driven by my selfish ego. Therefore I am willing to believe they are un-true perceptions. I am willing to do the best that I can do in the areas of my life that are most important to me. Those areas include my physical health, my emotional health, and my spritual health, (which for me is in my relationship with Jesus Christ). I believe that these are the areas that really count and allow me to best serve the greater good. I am willing to accept that by doing my best in these areas will lead to my best in all other facets of my life. Further-more I am willing to give up the thought that my best isn't good enough and that I alone can do more. I understand that these thoughts are from that self centered ego as described earlier.....the one I am willing to let go of. As for everything else....I am letting go....and letting the Lord Worry about that.
This was deep! I have posted on my blog..
Finished tonight, assignment #11. Whew! This lesson was done and posted on my blog. Called "I want it all, and I want it now". It got kind of long and was really heartfelt. I feel lighter and relieved and exceptionally tired. I will sleep well tonight. Mary Jo
Wow this is another difficult task. I was ready to have to come up with some great sacrifice. I understand that the greatest sacrifice can be really as simple as letting go of the pride, the untruths that hold me back, the selfish parts of me that want to keep things the way they are. It takes some faith to let go to really believe that when my purpose is correct there is always sucess and happiness. Thanks for your insight Bill. I am loving this transformation project.
Oh Wow!! The power of 11.... This isn't an easy one, but when it's time, it's time.
This is a wonderful assignment! going to really meditate on this one!Wow! Shari
I seem to have a hard time with this one. Give up? I can think of things that I should give up like watching tv or procrastination. I don’t think that is what you are going for. I think that giving up the fight part is hard to wrap my mind around. It feels like “trying” clenching, clenching, instead of feeling the joy, the purpose and the intention. When I am on a good roll, it feels like a positive choice, not a should, or a to do list that is a chore. I am not deprived of anything, but I am choosing freely to embrace health, joy, and life. The other thing is the belief that this can work. For me. If I let go my fear and pessimism, I can let in the positive hope and intentions. I need to let go of my cynicism. This feels scary…without beating myself up I am afraid that I will wallow like a slug, and not accomplish anything. For now, I agree to act as if I can give up the struggle. I will plan what I must do, work the assignments and trust that the outcome will be positive, rather than having to fight and struggle so much. Joy and passion will inspire rather than struggle.
WHAT AM I WILLNG TO GIVE UP TO GET WHERE I WANT TO BE? I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION FOR A HEALTHY NEW LIFE. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP BEING A CHILD WANTING SOMETHING NOW TO AN ADULT WHO WILL BE PATIENT AND KNOW IN TIME THINGS WILL ALL COME TOGETHER.
I've been thinking about this assignment for 2 weeks. And being a type A personality, I could easily come up with a nice, bulleted list of "things" that I would give up...instead I went out of my comfort zone of organization and practicality and looked for sacrifices that I might not be able to touch or list in a couple of words. I am willing to give up my aversion to risk. I now realize that my aversion to risk has contributed to my lack of passion for life. My approach to life has been "what if this, what if that" and then planning for the possibilities. While I recognize that having contingencies for somethings (such as a plan B in the event I were to be laid off), that I would enjoy life more if I took a chance and experienced it more freely. Hand in hand with my aversion to risk, is living in fear. It's not a paralyzing fear; but fear that keeps me from being who I am. Here's an example: with my family, I often don't share my opinions about things because my opinions are usually very different from theirs. So, fearing their argumentative nature and wanting to avoid (there's the risk aversion) an argument, I just keep quiet. I am willing to be less risk averse and less fearful. I am willing to take chances. I am eager to feel a fiery passion for life everyday--instead of once in a while. In looking back at the past couple of months, I see that my willingess to give up those things is contributing to my current success with my transformation.
Woops I made a few typos down there. I love this song though! One of my fave spiritual leaders, Bishop Carlton Pearson, sings this song. I love it, but I thought he wrote it lol. He redid it though obviously =) I love it!
I read this assignment and I started to think about thing I am willing to give up. I’ve already given up the image in the mirror and I’ve given up the search for immediate results. I was just going to answer with those, but I decide to start writing, and feelings started purring out! I actually started crying a little, but it felt good. I realized that this assignment kind of coincides with steps six and seven of the twelve steps, which I am on right now. Step six deals with being ready to have God remove my character defects and being willing to give them up. Step seven asks for God to remove our shortcomings which, “stand in the way of my usefulness to you (God) and my fellows.” (from the AA Big Book) I relate these to assignment eleven, because these character defects and shortcomings are qualities that I need to give up for a true transformation. So I am willing to give up all of these for a successful transformation: • Selfish desires for instant gratification through the use of food and unhealthy relationships. • My prejudices and beliefs that hold me back from establishing and maintaining wholesome, healthy relationships with people. • My self seeking behaviors of allowing how others react to me determine how I feel about myself. • My self seeking behavior of using my looks to get attention o make me feel better about myself. • My fears of getting close to people. • My fears of rejection and disapproval which make it hard to close to people. • My fears of not being loved or liked for the real me. • My fears that people only like me for the way I look and they won’t really like the real me. • My dishonest behaviors of using my looks to manipulate people or to make myself feel like I’m better than other people- false pride. How am I supposed to make good friends and help others if I keep doing these things?? I won’t, so I am willing to give them up, have God remove them, right now, today. That’s so cool that I am on this assignment at the same time as those steps, because my sponsor suggested I make a list of my CD’s like that anyways Yay two birds with one stone. =)
Assignment #11 In this assignment, I chose to come this far of free will, because my heart desires to shine in positive light only, while thinking about sharing the energy reciprocally with others, who’s going through the struggle like myself. In doing so, I allow myself to be in the “family mindset”, while forming relationships of longevity. The thought of knowing what I would have to give up, in order to accomplish a goal desired gave me a thing or two to think about. In all we do daily, some of our habits which have placed us in a “comfort zone”. For me, being in the comfort zone meant at times putting things off until later “procrastination“, swigging down bottles of Paul Masson, Hennessey and Tanqueray, and lastly [trees] every now and then. Before starting the gym on Feb 18, 2009, I never thought intensely about these things I fell captive to “and liked being in captivity somewhat, but knew in my heart I couldn’t do this for the rest of my life” in order to accomplish the transformation, although I have not been drunk from hard alcohol since Feb 2008, and only had a mild sip of grape wine [14% alcohol], after accidentally denting the front end passenger side of mom’s car. So now, thinking about what I would have to give up, in order to get to where I desire, entailed leaving the trees & bottle behind “Been clean as a whistle” since I started working out on 02/18/2009 starting at 250 lbs. , while rebuilding a foundation in securing success in my life, by openly acknowledging Christ, and working on my body thereafter. Another thing I felt I had to give up “well, I feel a majority of folk have this as well” is thinking about self. I’ve thought selfishly before. Since starting this transformation, I’ve felt a sense of a family like friendly atmosphere, which helped me slowly transition into thinking more positive in relating to others, openly and using my heart now on showing feelings online. By doing so, it helps me to grow inside, while feeling good about giving up being selfish, or thinking always in the 1st person, and placing emphasis only on myself. In this exercise, I feel it is an assignment of honesty. In knowing who you are, what you need to give up to get what you want, and keeping humility before others, it adds to self character. And, in knowing what needs to be done, in terms of giving up old habits, it paves the way for spontaneous opportunity to land in your lap when least expected.
Assignment # 11 Well I wrote in my profile that I was doing this transformation challenge due to being a better role model for my son Tyler and my wife Sophie. That has not changed, but my outlook has. I really understand the things I need to do now. I wrote in Assignment 10 that I was doing both at the same time becuse I could not finish 10 until I really recapped this process, and look on to this one because I wanted to see what I really would give p. The answer is Time, time spent going to church with my son and wife. When my wife and I were just dating over 10 years ago, she said that was the one thing she loved about me, is that I went to church (even at that time as a bachelor, my roomate Jim and I went to church every week, and sometimes on our lunch hour (we wouldn't miss it). And I have not been consistent with bringing my son to church every week (blaming it on work, and lack of Time) But I do realize now what I need to give up is the wasted time at work, and get out on-time and make the time for church and our faith. Faith is not one of the things I ever thought I would think of giving up (everyone needs something to believe in) and the lord was always there for me, so I now need to reciprocate and give back---give back my time and have my son understand th importance of going to church Every week. He is learning a lot from religion classes, but I need to be more consistent with him and I will. This is one of those areas I wrote in my profile page where I want to be a better father/husband, well this will help me be a better role model for my family. And I love them too much not to be. Thanks, Brian
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? What do you really want? It’s a good question to contemplate throughout this process of transformation that you’ve begun. The more heartfelt, the more authentic and real your answer is, the more it will help you gain a higher and higher level of awareness about what’s important in your life. Since I was a little boy, I just wanted the love of my father. I cannot explain their marriage and what happen between them and their relationship, but after twenty years, my father decided to leave my mother in pursuit of his career and a younger woman. That cold winter day as we dropped dad off at the train station in Connecticut, I was too young to know what was about to happen, but I have had a lifetime to know what it felt like not him in my life. As dad stood there in the cold, waiting for the train into the city to arrive, my brothers and I looked back at him as we drove off. Why was dad leaving? What did we do? I still have a glimpse image of me sitting on his shoulders one Saturday morning as we walked down to the Dunkin Donut. Soon it became clear that my mother was not in a healthy state of mind to raise us children by herself. The decision was made for my two brothers and I to be raised by my grandmother in Florida and within time, mother would move down to Florida to be close to her boys but never raise us. So at the age of four, my brothers an I were place on a plane and flown down to the Sunshine state. This transition was not easy on the part of us boys because we missed our mother and father. As I grew up, I naturally turned to sports due to a deep love for such activity. The court and field along with a ball became my sanctury to be by myself and to just dream. Dreams of being an Olympic or Professional athlete were formed within me during those long hours of play and such dreams became my deepest desire. I would spend endless hours shooting the ball to the point where there was no more light in the sky but just the sound of the ball going through the hoop in the dark night. I do not know how many last second games I won in my imagination on those dark nights of playing hoops, but I do know the joy I felt inside in those moments of dreaming. I was able to escape my sadness and deepest fears as I played. During one of these periods of dreaming one afternoon, I still remember to this day being surprised by the image of my father walking out the back door of our home in Florida. As he walked up to me, he made the motion for me to throw the ball to him, and for fifteen minutes of the greatest time period of my life, a father and son threw the ball and shot hoops. Not many words were exchanged but we acknowledge each others presence, then as quickly as he came, he left again. That was the only father and son memory I have and I will cheerish it for ever. I have seen dad over the years. I know him, I have met him, but the feelings for him are deep within me that I am just starting to discover during my transformation. At times, many years will pass without me seeing my dad, and then for brief moments, we cross each others path. Now that I am older and a husband and father myself, I have tried my hardest to be the best husband and father I can be, but I do not know if I have been the best son. As I have gotten caught up in life trying to provide the best I can for my family, life has been tough. I have been brought to my knees many times where I did not know which way to go anymore. I would turn to a destructive lifestyle of unhealthy foods to fill the void and pain within my life, but the results would take me deeper and deeper away from what I desired most, peace within my heart. I am still growing in this area but I can honestly say that an inner peace and joy is what I have always desired. The void and darkness of fear, anxiety, and stress have been my constant companion through out my life. I found myself without direction in life at times and not knowing what my purpose or mission in life would be. All I know is that I was becoming so unhealthy, that I needed to change or I would not be around much longer. My wife feared that I would be leaving this life soon to a heart attack or diabetes if I did not change my ways. What brought me to that point where I reached an all time high of 285lbs? My body and health was only a mere extention of the true inner struggle I was having within. On that December month in 2008, I found myself searching for something to help me change. I rediscoved the BFL website, but it did not motivate me because I needed something deeper than 12 weeks, I needed my change in life that only a whole transformation coulld answer. So the question is, what do I really want? I want to have peace within my heart. I want to know that I am loved by a father. I want to throw the ball with him again that only a father and son can understand. I want to dream like I did when I was a child with a ball and glove. I want to forgive and be set free. I want to ease the pain and Be The Change. What are you willing to give up to get it? Again, the more authentic, the more honest, the more real your answer, the better. As I see it, the most important thing to give up at this point is, “the fight.” And by that I mean the stubborn resistance of the egoic nature. When we decide to let that go, and we state that intention in writing, and we do our best to surrender, each and every day, we have truly done at least half of the work we need to do in order to successfully transform. As I write, I ask you have patience with me because what I am going to share is bigger than you and I. Lets come together and learn from each other. One night this past week at work around 2am, I experienced a level of spirituality insight that was life changing. I actually stood there alone on aisle one in this retail store while I was working, and experienced for the first time the feelings and thoughts of a transformational state. Let me explain. All of sudden I was living in the moment as though I have completed my transformation and reached a level of healthiness that has never been part of my life. My spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental were in perfect balance. In that moment of clarification, I stood taller, I was at peace within, I was confident in my existence and purpose in life, I was trusting, I was knowing, I was loving, I was full of faith, hope, and charity. I was in a state of being that waits for me in the future, if I continue to change. I knew at that very defining moment what my life will be like after going through the transformation process and reaching my future vision. In that moment, I had to stop what I was doing and start writing down the thoughts and feelings i was experiencing. I could not stop writing for 30 minutes. Every weakness seemed to be replace with true strength and I knew at that moment what it feels like to really be alive. What it feels like to have life and peace within me. So the question is asked, what am I willing to give up to get to this state of transformation. I am laying it all down on the table. I am drawing the line in the sand. I am giving my heart, might, mind, and strength. I am giving my tears and sweat. I am giving myself and I will be humble in the things I do. Being humble is not a sign of weakness, but means one is teachable and willing to learn. I am willing to let go, trust, and place my life in the Masters hands.
Oh My Goodness, I read this assignment in perfect time!! I was just about to start a fight with myself. lol I was feeling anxiety over not seeing my physical results fast enough. and how I was feeling guilty about taking two free days for V-day and my B-day last weekend. Yesterday I did 2 HITT sessions and the secone one, there was no energy left. I was going to use it as motivation to work harder. but truth is, I already work really hard and I eat as clean as I know how,.Sure, I can always learn how to make that better. But I really need to give myself a break and enjoy that I am making the effort and trust in the system, knowing that it works. The proof is everywhere. It might not be as fast as I want but I need to remember, this is the healthy way to go about physically changing my body. I get the added benefit of the spiritual change I am going through. When ever I get to that place of anxiety, I log on and read all the stories people blog about and I feel so greatful after doing so. I want so much to be encouraging to others. I know I have encouraged some but I haven't felt like it has been enough. Well, I am giving up that fight and just going to let it happen as it is meant to. I realized today, I don't need to be so hard on myself. It gives me a negative feeling and that is exactly what I don't want creeping back into my life. Thank you Bill!!!! (Dorie)
It is so strange how things jump out at you at different times. I did this assignment over the summer and posted here and my insight this time goes a bit deeper. Maybe not so much deeper as detailed and personal. Anyway, here it goes...What I want: I want to get out of my own way! I want to do things in spite of fear! I want to believe in myself again. I want to fully trust God! I mean fully! I need to trust that where He guides me is safe and that I don't need to be afraid. I need to stop trying to control the outcomes. I need to let go of the expectations and trust that if I am obedient to God He will handle the outcomes! As I have shared in other posts, I have been on a journey to find my purpose and to live it out for some time now. I felt called to speak and write and started to do that. Then for some reason I let fear paralyze me. I felt called to move here almost a year ago and haven't done anything productive (except write a bit and join here) since then. I have a box full of DVD that I had made to send out to churches and I haven't done it. I don't think they are that great. I don't know why. People tell me it is. I guess because the few people that have gotten a copy haven't booked me. I just feel like I am failing before I even start! So what I want is to get out of my own way. To use the resources I have available and to get out there and share. What I am going to give up is trying to control the outcome, and setting expectations based on others. I am going to give up procrastination and fear and just do it! Starting tomorrow I am going to make presentation packets and get them sent out! I was just telling my husband tonight that I wished there was a way I could help financially without having to put our daughter in daycare. Hello!!!!! I have the ability to bring in income, I just have to put my self out there! I have to give up the ego of what others will think...if I am good enough...because if God called me, I am good enough for Him! Bill, I still can't help but be filled with...well, I don't even know what to call it. I am sick to my stomach thinking about putting myself out there and being vulnerable. I want to be my authentic self and give up the ego and what I think I should be for others! No more self-sabotaging!!!! Here's to my giant leap of faith! I can't walk on water if I don't get out of the boat right? And to answer your question about "does what I want serve the great good?" I absolutely believe it does! I want to be used by God and help others grow closer to him. I want to help others find their true selves! I am learning so much about myself and now I can be used in an even greater way that before! Thank you Bill for being apart of my journey closer to God!
I want a metamorphisis of body, mind and soul. I've wasted so much time and emotion over the last 20 years. In order to get that, I'm willing to give up: 1. the belief that somehow Im doing a good thing when I keep subscribing to the bad habits I learned from loved ones 2. thoughts and feelings that lead to bulimia and food addiction 3.thinking I will "die" if I just sit there and not eat. or order something healthy when everyone else isnt. 4. making excuses 5. beating myself up and then quitting (like Ive done thousands of times) 6. allowing myself to forget important things like planning/prep/visualizing/meditation etc 7. diet sodas (which I already have completely given up :) 8. eating so fast and so much at one time ITS WORTH IT!!! Thank you Bill
I've been thinking about this one for quite sometime. It's one of my favorite assignments so far. Assignment 11 I want to continue to be made whole and to never stop this amazing process that has begun. The words here on assignment 11 are so powerful...it’s not a fight...the struggle against my “old self” or the “Low Level Jami” is done. This really spoke to me, as I’ve always viewed it as a fight between a bad version of me against a good version of me. I love the phrase “let go”...it means I get to relinquish my grip on all that has held me back. I am and have been opening my fingers that last little bit to really let go. I know this is not something I will do just once, but something I will continually be on guard for and to take inventory on anything I’m holding onto that I shouldn’t, anything that hurts me or hinders me. I’m giving up my need for control, the need to “matter”, the hope to be accepted, the desire to achieve to prove myself worthy of love, the impossible undefinable ideals for myself, the need to be a champion to make my kids proud & have my name forever engraved somewhere (I know my kids are already proud of me!), the desire to be given any title other than “wife”, “mom” & “friend” (I would love to someday be World Class in the first 2 categories), and I’m giving up the way I have suppressed my God given personality at times to try to appear more graceful than I really am (he he). :) For my dear husband...I will learn to give up the defensiveness that I’d inherited from being hurt so deeply by others. I am giving up striving, I’m giving up the fight. I’m learning to just BE, and loving every moment I’m given.
What I am giving up? Wow this is such a really deep thing to contemplate. I know this is really powerful for my transformation. I am giving up the back and forth thinking. I can ever go back to eating junk on a regular basis. Yes, Bill it is the fight I must and have given up. Something broke in my about 5 weeks ago and God's peace came over me in this area. I am enjoying taking care of my health. I am also enjoying the benefits. My inner struggle with food must be at a end for true health.
I'm giving up Comparing myself to my after picture. That is, the picture of myself I have in my head after I've completed my Challenge (whether it's 18 weeks, or a second 18 weeks). You see, when I compare me today to the future me, I'm upset that I'm not at my goal. In past attempts to get it done in 12 weeks, results didn't come quick enough and it was easy to drop off the bandwagon. I've come to the realization that Future me will come along. I can't just stand out in the rain holding my mixtape waiting for him to show up. I've got to focus on the small victories and the victories of others. Focusing on these smaller, weekly achievements will pass the time, and I know if I keep on like I'm going my rewards will be great!
What I need to let go of is my expectations of other people and my feeling that I need to be in control. These are two things that have actually sent me spinning out of control. I realize that the world does not revolve around me so I don't need to try to control it and set MY expectations for other people. I want so much to encourage and help others but I can't do that from a vantage point of control. I have to continue to learn how to let go of what doesn't really matter and what I can't change. And realize that only by letting people be themselves and make their own choices am I able to grow and be the change they might need in their lives. Beverly :D
I wrote about this a week ago and I want to add a little more. Now that I've had a week to process the new intention that I have created. Now that my thinking has maybe started to change a little. Because what I have to let go of is the habits of the past. I want to let go of my past patterns of thinking and behaving. Let go of the stressful thinking and the anxiety about how 'things will turn out". Overriding this, I have to let go of any fears about how things will be if I change. I'm letting go of the fear of making a big and permanent change. I'm letting go of the habits that got me to where I am now. Because I simply must have new ones. And I need to go past the fear that things will 'fall apart' if I change. Things won't fall apart when I change, new things will take their place. I am hungry for a new, more contented, more relaxed, more loving approach. I'm letting go of the fear of moving away from where I am now to this new place. HERE WE GO!
This is a tough one, but I know what I had to give up. I would get up every morning and go through the same routine. I felt it was getting old and I was becoming more like a robot. I would weigh and see no results on the scale. I become angry at myself and thought about giving up. I would study my pictures and could not see the results I was looking for and tear them up and throw them in the garbage. I bought book after book on body building and kinesiology to try to find the best way to exercise with the best results. I became obsessed with changing my routines and nutrition that it was hard for me to know what I was doing from day to day. I would fill out my daily Body-for-Life log and change it in the middle of an exercise. I would prepare my meals the night before and leave them in the refrigerator. I was not eating and was starving myself during the day and over eating at night. I decided after asking Brett one of my team members who advised me to give up the scales and not to pressure myself about the eating. I then started noticing my clothes where fitting loser and loser. The 46" pants where getting baggy on me. I had to punch another hole in my belt and noticed that the marks made by the buckle indicated at least a 4" loss. I got down some pants and shirts that I have not worn since my challenge in 2003 and tried them on... they fit and room to spare. I was very excited about this. I wanted to know what was going on so I started to keep better track of my measurements. I know now that by giving up the scales which I had depended on so much to gage my success the pressure to lose weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The anger I felt every day is gone. I know that by just following the Body-for-Life plan is the best way to have success. By letting go of the pressure to succeed I can now get on with my transformation and be the "Hero" I in vision in my mind. Thanks to my T-friends and Bill I will succeed. John
I have struggled with a few things. First, how to answer the question, what do I want to do? Now, I know what I want to do for my own health and I honestly do feel I'm doing that. In fact, what I'm doing regarding my health dominates my mind and I am very happy about that. But if I look beyond that, what do I want to do? I want to help others. That's what I want. I want to help other people overcome the challenges they're facing. I want to help them work through the difficulties and find a clear path to their own transformation. I have also struggled with defining my intention outside of my desire for great health and living life to the fullest and helping others. But after doing this assignment, I believe that I now know what my intentions are. I want to see our world be one of peace and happiness. I want to contribute my talents, my gifts to make this happen. We don't teach peace, but we need to. Perhaps we don't teach it and live it because we don't know how to live peace in our lives. We seem to be masterful at war and chaos but very very weak in peace. This is my intention.... I believe I have let go of those things that create resistence to my transformation. But, I continue to remind myself that there are plenty of bad habits and unhealthy behaviors that I can overcome. And I say now, I will look at these bad habits and unhealthy behaviors as things I can let go of; that I can surrender and walk away from. Why fight something that isn't impossible to win? Isn't that way they're bad habits and unhealthy behaviors in the first place? I surrender...Thank you everyone.
I am giving up my last eight years of anger, being mad at the world for everthing that happened to my husband, me, and our life together. I forgive myself for being mad so I can have a peaceful heart and I will respect my husband daily because he is now getting up to fight for health. I give thanks to God for Dr Leahey who just fixed the last of his pain and made him whole again with a fifteen minute procedure. We both stood with tears just streaming down our face and the Dr had him workout for the first time. I give up lack of faith! I let go of our business that the economy is taking from us without fear and the last thing will be to leave our dream home if we are forced to without sadness but remain open to the new life that stands before us because we will finish strong! We be the change! Any of you that have read my profile can now read that my husband and I are both healed and I let go of all negativity that was killing me so my family can be a close family again like we used to be. I am giving up "giving up" it's not an option. I am giving up the cage and setting myself free to be healthy. I am happy to let go of working and see my husband being proud to be a man again! I just let it all go! I brush the doubts and fears away. Thanks to each and everyone of you for being my inspiration. I hope to touch at least one of you and help you through this experience.
I'm giving up my old need for control. THat I personally have to bend and shape everything to 'fit' in with how I expect it to be. (wow - typing that right now, it sounds kinda silly!) Addressing it now - it seems a weird process. I'll say it again: that I felt that I single-handedly had to shape all events and all my reactions to fit what I expected. My expectations which came from how I had intellectually constructed a situation. What a burden that has been! The strange thing is, it has worked to some degree. I have been able to achieve to a certain degree. But in the end I think my achievement has been limited, and my energy has decreased. Because when you take it upon yourself to 'make' everything how you expect it - it takes a lot of effort! The most important thing is this: I've had enough of it. I want to go beyond the struggle of trying to 'think' everything out. It's been a strong habit, which makes this a great challenge for me. Now is the time. The words I have just read about this assignment are perfectly timed (and I certainly didn't 'make' them, they were made for me to receive!). Now is the time for me to change this habit. As scary as it may be to try something different, this is the way of progress for me. My energy is now going to go into expanding my own happiness and connection and sharing with others. THis is what I want. ANd what I will give up to get this is putting energy into trying to control situations and events and happenings down to the finest detail. I'm letting the part of me who 'wants' to do that go. ANd I'll replace that energy with something that is beneficial to me and everyone else on the planet. Beause if I'm still caught up in the struggle of control and expectations, there is no way I can contribute in the way I dream of doing. No way. So if I'm serious about contributing, I am going to have to let the struggle go. And if the Universe does intend for me to contribute, I can be sure that it will take care of events and circumstances for me...without me having to fuss and fight to do it myself. That's what I'm letting go of during this 18 weeks. And I can't wait to feel this change every day up until the final week - and then beyond! Phil PS Thank you Bill for this assignment and for the words I have been wanting to read!
Assignment # 11 - Giving Up the Fight This assignment got me thinking a lot about my life. What am I willing to give up to get what I want out of this Transformation? Looking back I have always fought to keep my body in shape. There are many years that I let myself go and feel like I lost those years. I let people tear me down emotionally and tell me that I was no good and would never succeed or win at anything. I need to let the past go, it’s hard and there are people in my past that hurt me not physically but emotionally. Overtime the inner scares from that have healed but I never truly could let it go and forgive them. That was until today. I saw this assignment and for the past 24 hours thought really hard about this and what I need to do to let go of in my past that keeps holding me back from reaching the top of my mountain. I stared at myself in the mirror today and what I truly saw for the first time in my life was a man that is finally getting healthy and truly happy with what he is seeing. I know now that I need to forgive all those people in my past that have hurt me. They did not want me to succeed, and for part of my life I was starting to believe this. So with that said I can completely and 100 % tell you that I truly forgive those people who said nasty and hurtful things to me. Today I am washed clean of all emotionally baggage that came with this. I look at myself and how much I have grown in these past 5 weeks is amazing. I believe in myself, and I put 100% trust in the Lord my God who is always there for me. Through positive influence and prayer I know now that I can do this and I will not stop until I am completely Transformed in Body, Mind and Soul. Watch out world here is a new man who is on the brink of a great Transformation! I will do this and no one will stop me. -John 02/05/09
What am I going to give up in order to feel comfortable in my own skin again? I need to quit ignoring God. I need to quit avoiding God. God created this whole wide world so I am certain he knows what he is doing. I need to quit relying on myself and instead rely on God to help me remember to enjoy my kids instead of looking to food for joy. I need to quit relying on myself and instead rely on God to inspire me to get out of bed at 5:00 to work out. I need to remember that God will work out all the details of my life. I am sure I will think of some other things I might need to give up in order to be comfortable in my own skin again but for now this is the first and most important one.
What I really want is to be comfortable in my own skin again. I waste a lot of my time, energy, and thoughts on how I look around the waist, behind th arms etc. I should be expending my energy, time and thoughts on more productive things. 5 years ago when I was in the best shape of my life it didn't even cross my mind to think about how my waist looked it wasn't a worry. I just excercised, ate right like it was second nature a habit that I didn't need to think about. So I had lots more time energy and thinking power to devote to more productive things. This is what I want to have again. How I am going to get it? I stil need to think that one a bit more.
What I feel that I've given up after 2 months in Transformation is "doing it my way" or the ME program. I turned over my desire for a continued spiritual awakening and physical transformation to my higher power. Now after 7 dark years of addiction to more of everything- i can take it easy and ask for direction, for signs. First I reached out to BFL-2 months later still working out 6-7 days a week. Second the Transformation affirmed my need to work with a WE program rather than a ME program. I have made the lifestyle change and it feels amazing.
This by far has been my most difficult assignment. I have given up so many things since I started this journey. No body expected much from me since I was the fat girl. Now with physical, mental and spiritual changes in place, people will expect more of me and the fear of disappointing them or more importantly myself is the hardest thing I am having to deal with at this time. I will have to set boundaries the rest of my life instead of going with the flow in order to get and maintain the healthy transformation that I want. I need to let go of the fear of what others think or expect of me and only live according the what I believe God wants for me. This questions is the key to a complete transformation. Thanks for mentioning it Bill.
I want, no need, to give up Fat Boy. That alter ego bagage from childhood that I keep locked in the closet. Unfortunately, on occasion he can pick the lock and out pops this guy that doesn't feel worthy being equal to his peers, to being successful, and worst of all being loved all because he is obese. Granted I'm now nowhere near that 13 year old, 5'4" tall, 188 lb overweight child, but he still lives inside of me. I need to let him go once and for ever so that I can make a permenant change on the outside, but it must start on the inside. I can already feel him slipping away with each assignment, each new day of success in this Transformation. Let's all say goodbye to Fat Boy I hope he someday finds happiness, but it won't be within me. > WorkoutGuy.
I am willing to give up my anger at God for permitting me to be born with a brain aneurysm which led to a stroke and heart attack at the height of a successful and satisfying career. I am willing to forgive the brutal murder of my mother and the horrific death of my father. I am willing to forgive my lingering physical and mental disabilities due to the brain damage that occurred during emergency brain surgery. I am willing to forgive the doctor for carelessly shoving in a chest pump and burstiing my prosthesis. I am willing to give up my right to be bitter. I give it all up. I accept what is. I work on my transformation and leave the results to my creator. What is, is, and what will be, will be. I will do my part.
I have a few things I know that I have needed to let go of. The past couple of weeks have helped to loosen my grip on some of them, and I am going to continue to fucus on letting go of what I need to. CONTROL is the first one. You know, I didnt start my transformation on January first, I started it on the second. Know why? Becuase I wanted to decide when I wanted to start. I wanted to control that and not feel like lame resolutions told me to start on the first. I wanted to CONTROL that. I have always wanted control, which can account for may many of my self destructive behaviors in the past... health related and otherwise, from eating disorders, to guilt trips, to situations in my personal relationships. Take away my control, and you take away my self-worth. THAT attitude has to be done with right now! Another "fight" that I need to let go of is the excuses. So many excuses for everything in my life. Come to think of it, I make excuses for thisng that dont even need excuses! I just need to chill out on myself and let myself be. Maybe thats what I need to give up on. I need to stop picking on myself and realize that perfection is not an attainable goal. I am allowed to make a mistake, and it is OK. I can't control everything! Well, that just came full circle back to control issues, didnt it?? LOL! So lets start there.. control. I am letting go.... ba-bye!! ~Harlee
I am willing to give up my need to control. I continue to surrender to the process of my unfolding life, showing up, moving from moment to moment with what is, being aware of what I truly desire, trusting in the Divine to continuing to guide me and taking responsibility for myself in each moment, making conscious choices with what is. Surrender has never been my strength. I have resisted for a long time. I am ready to hand it all over. The dance I have done over the years hasn't served me. In the moments I have been able to surrender, it has been demonstrated to me over and over again, things have a way of working out way better when I let go of control.
Reading this helps me understand what I have done this week. Why in one week I feel so successful. I have let go of expectations, pretenses, the act , and all of the unauthentic stuff. These were things that held me down and wore me out along with all of the emotional baggage I was carrying around. I am finding out and discovering and realizing the strength deep down inside of me along with true happiness!! I cannot predict of want to, what tommorrow brings. I only want to live for today, while preparing for tommorrows adventures!!! All the other stuff was repairing yesterday and As My pastor said in his sermon today "Don't look back because all you need for your journey will be provided for you, It can't be found behind you!!" So So true!! By me letting go of the past I can say with all honesty that I am living today at my fullest. I knowing what I feel and the the energy that I carry within radiates around me, Those past negative strings that held me in bondage, no longer have a death grip on me. Letting past string go is what I was willing to give up this week!! Thank you Bill!!
This is what I want: A *lifestyle of steller health and fitness, NOT an experience. For life. Not for 12 week or 18 weeks! For life! To me, that means everyday for always. What I'll have to give up in order to get that- would be "excuses". Thats what throws me off every time, so here it is, NO MORE EXCUSES!
I am very aware going into this process, that I may lose friends that require more time from me than I am able to give. I am sad about this - I love my friends. I thank you for the reminder to 'let it be'! Blessings, MaryPat
I need to give up the feeling that I have to fight to have this. When I did BFL I didn't tell myself anything except I can do anything for 12 weeks, and it worked. It worked so well I was shocked to see my after photos. Up until that time I was not able to see the change that was taking place. So, it really is all about letting go
I need to give up thinking of this Transformation as a challenge and focus my attention on others. I am very competetive and intense in what I do but that's not going to benefit me in the long run. I want to shift my focus to helping others regardless of how I do in this Transformation. I'm looking forwardto truly transforming my life (correction, I am transforming my life) with all of you.
I thought I was giving up the fight in me to fight. I thought it was time for the battle in myself to be over. I learned I gave up so much more. I gave up the selfishness I carried , I gave up the need to be right all the time, the grudges I was holding, I gave up the feeling of wanting to get even with someone that hurt me. I tore down the wall that I thought was protecting me, instead it was keeping me a hostage in my own little world. I have givin up the fight to be the person I didn't want to be anyway and gave in to the me I wanted the world to see. I won the battle. I am proud to walk into the light and shine Lve, Linda
I need to give up my issues with ego of always feeling the need to be the prettiest, skinniest, most fit girl everywhere I go. It's really hard though, because it's been that way for years now which has caused me to engage in self destructive behavior, Giving up that need would benfit my inner growth tremendously.
WOW. I willing to give up that I am not perfect and that I just need to be me. Be me right now and continue doing what I'm doing in this transformation for my Heart and Soul. If I continue to be perfect I'm waiting on failure. If I just be me and not worry about the outcome if I'm right or wrong life will be much easier on me. We all have a our good days and bad. My plan is to turn a bad day into a more postiive one for me. I am not perfect I am ME :)
Actually to be honest the spirtual side of my life is has a lot of confusion... In BFL re: the training side i feel good about my 2 a day training...however one thing i want to give up for the great good of the gyms i go to is be right there with people who are really struggling.... and reach out to them... My after photo will be good for a 53 year old.. however i am not 23 any more... I have learned from a lot of the fitness icons re: the physical side...but i have not really been open to some belief systems that have concepts i don't understand...however i do see them working with a lot of people here... I do feel a lot of love and caring on this site and i do try to reach out with that... I do have a hang up about getting bottom line results in training however...i see that is the BFL goal and i need to give up some of that focus for being open for the spirtual ones... I do pray but i put a lot more emphasis on action and i need to give up the beliefs i have regarding thinking i know the answers for others.. One thing i do know is i don't have the peace of mind most folks here have and i have to give up the idea i am on the right path... Well, yes this assignment is one i need to really work on.. Thanks, Tom
I would call this process getting out of my own way! I look at my life and when I am present and in the moment, fear, worry and doubt disappears. I have been a control freak in my life...I passed the CPA exam, I had my own business, I pretty much tried to control everything and, as I reflect, so much of my accomplishments did not flow. Throught my transformation I achieved a sense of inner peace as I observed how powerful things can happen without having to force everything. This is a very powerful lesson!
Wow, this assignment is deep. I have noticed something strange while going through this transformation. Whenever I try to force my new lifestyle and control everything I feel like I am going against what I want to be. When I just live my new lifestyle I feel in sync. When I try to control everything that affects the new lifestyle I am living my fear of falling back to my old lifestyle increases. I noticed this on my trip to Dallas, TX to attend a concert. I had everything planned out, but once there things did not go as planned. Once one thing did not go as planned I panicked and tried to force my plan for my new lifestyle to work as I had scheduled. It just made things worst. It led to me to drinking and eating too much. It stressed me out and I looked for comfort in the drinks and food. What am I willing to give up in order to get what I want out of this transformation experience? This is a great question!! I am going to give up the fight and control. I am going to give up fighting not to fall into my old lifestyle. I am also going to give up trying to control everything to live my new lifestyle. I am going to take “let it be” to heart. Bill thank you so much for this assignment!! This song really fits this assignment. When I hear it, it will be a lasting reminder of this assignment.
alrighty...i have given up the control...someone here recently had a quote that i liked. "I can't control what i can't control"...as i have swallowed and digested that it has brought a super abundance of peace. I am not responsible for anyone else's decision to do something or not do something. i can point them in the right direction but ultimately that is between them and God. I cant drag 'em. this is important because it caused years of anxiety and panic and fear of "what if". i have realized internally for probably the first time that i really dont have control. I have me and my decisions and life. if others want to join me...great. if they dont...i will still be here. i gave up fear, anxiety and control. what i get is peace and confidence and self worth. when the old cloud of anxiety tries to settle in...i say..."I cannot control what i cannot control...this one is on YOU Dad." its working.
this was the one assignment that made me "block" and "freeze" i hid from it. "give up the fight" didnt understand what that meant.... i will write more from my journal as i can...have run out of online time (my time management deal i have...need to go spend time in 3D) thanks for this assignment...made me really dig deep
These lessons, assignments, exercises take you deep within your being and make you come to some self realizations that define who and what each of us are, our role as a spouse, friend, parent, sibling, brother or sister. I am sure there has been many changes we have all made over the last several months, if not longer. But the one central idea I have to let go of is that I am someone who is 52. I am not 40 or 30 anymore and I can't look like I am that age. I must come to the realization that I am 52 and a healthy 52, and be someone who will soon be 53 then 54 then as time goes on 60. One that is strong, vibrant, still learning and caring. That doesn't mean that I am withering away, but I have to learn to workout within my parameters. In the past I would get a kick out of outlifting the young guns at work or at the gym. I would go up to the framers and have curling contests with a 5 gallon bucket of 12 penny nails. This only served my ego and nothing else. Who was I competing with anyway? Why is a 52 year old man trying to show up someone half his age. When my son would come home from college, after the hugs and smiles it would be let's get down on the floor and arm wrestle. WHY? Self gratification. This is silly and serves no purpose. It embarasses the other person and makes me feel like what? ---a king or jerk? I need to get real- I'm 52 but a 52 year old person who is in great shape who cares about others and cares about their feeling and self worth. I need to learn how to pick up people who are down for one reason or another. It has been said- What is the toughest exercise one can do? Pick someone else up who is down. For the most part my life has been pretty good, not too many tragedies. Yes a stumbling block here and there but LIFE IS GOOD. So my goal is to be an encourager, motivator, a helper, friend, listener, and sometimes this means doing different things to different people. Some people want advice- I must learn to give it only when asked. Some people just want someone to listen to their stories or issues with no advice or answers and I have learned to just listen, giving no advice. So what must I give up? Being someone that I am not and give into what I really am or really should be. And not be self centered but a sharing compasionate person.
I need to give up on caring what others think. They are not living my life and I should focus on my happiness. I know when I am happy I can do wonders for others.
First of all BIll. I have to say that when you write out these assignments and I read them, it feels like you are talking to me and me alone. I think you have a great gift in that you can make people feel like you are speaking just to them and that you care about them and them alone. Onto the assignment. As I thought about this, I automatically thought of a blog entry I made a couple of months ago. So, I'll post that entry here. So, I signed up and started my Transformation journey. I completed my first assignment and I'm ready to start working on my second assignment. I was watching a video about Transformation and I sat and wondered WHY am I doing this? Is it just so I can have a cute, fit, tone, athletic body? No, it's not. That is only one piece to the puzzle. There must be other reasons why I am choosing to do this and I believe that it's no mistake that at this point in my life I found this. I am doing this because I'm not happy with the way my life is currently going. It's not a bad life by any means, but there is nothing about it that I am passionate about, that I really love and enjoy. I just feel like I'm existing and functioning with no real purpose and that's not who I want to be. I want to be a person who is involved in the community, happy with her life and the direction it's going and excited about things to come. I don't want to just exist and function. I want to be out there helping others in so many capacities, showing others how they too can be happy and most importantly showing my own family how all of this is possible. Do I know how I'm going to get there? Not yet, but this is what the journey is all about and I am more than ready to accept it, to learn and grow and become the person I know I can be. End of entry. As I re-read this entry and thought of this assignment I started to form an answer of how I am going to get there and what I need to give up in order to get there. I'm still not sure I have a complete answer, but I do have some thoughts. First of all, I thought of my spirituality. I am already a VERY spiritual person and have a really great relationship with my Heavenly Father. It could always be better, but I honestly feel good about that part of my life. What I do need to give up to get what I want is wasted time. I waste a lot of time surfing the net and watching tv. Time that could be better spent helping others, teaching others, and just being there for someone who needs me. As I'm typing this, I have a song playing in the background that keeps repeating the phrase " Never a better a hero, never a truer man, never a truer friend, never a greater compassion, Never a wasted day, not one regret, true to the end". It's a song about our Savior Jesus Christ and his life and example to us on how to live our own lives. I think important for us to remember those words and then actually APPLY them to our lives. I know that I have worth and that I CAN make a difference in other people's life and in my own and in the lives of my husband and children. So, what's holding me back and what do I need to do to make that difference? I need to give up wasting time and putting myself in their lives. Actually LOOK for opportunities where I can make a difference and help others in need. I also need to give up focusing on ME and dwelling on how fat I am or how out of shape I am and feeling like I can't contribute to society because I'm worred that they will judge me on my looks. I need to show my true courage and just get out there and put those thoughts behind me and realize that nobody cares what I look like as much as they care what I do. I don't know for sure if my ramblings really made sense of if this is quite what you were asking Bill, but this is all of what I thought about after reading the assignment. Amy
I need to give up the frustration I feel when others make unhealthy choices. This is becoming easier each and every day because I've realized that as long as I am part of the change and living the the change each day, it rubs off on others. Co-workers, friends, family - they do take notice. At first, they may question or ridicule my large lunch bag or the getting up before dawn every day to workout, but then they start seeing the changes in my physical appearance and they begin to take notice. Then they start asking more questions, but somewhere along the way, the questions change and they are more along the lines of "Why are you eating that?" "Is this considered a protein?" "If I wanted to start lifting weights, where do I start?" And so on... By living my transformation every day, I ultimately influence others - on their own timeline, not mine!! So, I surrender my frustration and by consistenlty being the change, I hope to influence others to choose a healthier way of life.
I wrestled with this assignment. I read the blogs. I asked my family and friends, "What do you really want?" I searched my soul, my mind and my heart. I prayed and asked God for guidance. I even asked my Mom...but there is not an easy answer. Life is full and what I really want encompasses all those areas. So, I hope there are no WRONG answers to these questions.... What Do I Really Want? I want to live in truth. I want to live in truth, in mind, in body and in spirit. Truth in my mind would be letting go of misconceptions, anger, fear, and doubt, accepting the peace and contentment I desire. Truth in my body would be taking the best care of this temple...this physical body, inside and outside. Truth in my spirit would be knowing, acknowledging and accepting who I am in God's eyes. *************************************************************************************************************************** - I really want to be able to look at myself and know that I am living my life to the fullest. - I really want to be whole. - I really want to be healed. - I really want to be able to function adequately in my daily life. - I really want to be confident. - I really want to be accepted. - I really want to be free of depression. - I really want to love myself. - I really want to let go of my anger. - I really want to enjoy peace of mind. - I really want to stop my obsessive thinking. - I really want to weigh 115 lbs, be toned, trim and strong. - I really want to feel sexy and attractive. - I really want to be physically healthy. - I really want to live in spiritual truth. - I really want to be an exceptionally, excellent mother. - I really want to be a great partner and friend to my husband. - I really want to improve my marital relationship. - I really want to simplify my life. - I really want to live in warm and inviting home. - I really want to be organized. - I really want to be a role model for my children and family. - I really want to openly express myself in my writing and art. - I really want to be debt-free. - I really want to have great credit. - I really want to feel worthy. - I really want to feel excellent. - I really want to be a more intuitive friend. - I really want to forgive my abusers. - I really want to be a more caring and loving daughter. - I really want to be a more awesome sister and friend to my siblings. - I really want to live by the water. - I really want to rise above my emotional pain. - I really want to help others like myself when I am ready and able. - I really want to be free of using pills to escape and numb myself. - I really want to be my own best friend. - I really want to be a better, more improved me. __________________________________________________________________________________ What Am I Willing To Give Up In Order To Get What I Really Want? I, Timberly M. Grant, am ready and willing to give up all the negative things I have acquired and have held close that have brought me to this unhealthy place in my life. *Insecurity *Depression *Anger *Fear *Self-Doubt *Self-Hatred *Blaming God *Lies *Family Baggage *Negative Things That Brought Comfort To Me (i.e. food, drinks, pills, oversleeping, etc.) *Misconceptions *My Need For Control *Caring What Others Think Of Me *Mistrust Of Myself and Others *Agoraphobia *Inhibitions *Perfectionism *An Abusive Past *Pills *Self-Injury *Procrastination *Laziness *Giving Up *Negative Thinking *Unrealistic Goals and Expectations *My Layer Of Protection Against Attention *125 lbs. *Inches *Bodyfat *The Invisible Mask I've Worn For 42 Years I am ready to "give up the fight!" til next time, love, tim
What I need to surrender and let go of is the tough hard guy attitude, it's just a cover up for the weakness or "the not good enough" feeling inside...it's just alot of mental baggage I don't need to carry around anymore...also I need to be more patient and understanding with people who are inexperience and younger than me...alot of time it's just not their fault...in time they will "get it, life will show them" it not always my job to make them understand, especially at my workplace. Also I just need to leave the negativity at the work place...if I'am going to Be the Change I need to be a positive caring person not one to always criticize...teach by a positive example.
hello all, I just realized many of my posts don't show up :( (maybe because I've being posting from work when I know I should post from home :O) hhhmmmm...honesty I "surrendered " years ago and my life has taken on a new meaning ever since. It is no longer about me (well, not all the time....progress-lol). I must be willing to give up my judgements because they show my "lower self'. I must be willing to give up the need for approval from outside sources because it allows me to devalue myself and puts the "power" outside instead of within. Love and light,
This assignment I have really pondered. When I read it at first I thought of all the things I have let go of to get to where I currently am. I let go of bad habits and I let go of the notion I didn't have time for myself. Those 2 things greatly got me to where I am today. I asked myself what is it that I can let go of now to get me to where I want to be...One would be my preconceived notions. I have discovered that things aren't always what they seem to be and that I should have an open mind and think outside of the box. Two is control. I have to let go of things I have no control over and just "let them be" what is meant to happen will happen.
This assignment really hit home with me. I've done many Body for Life Challenges over the years but never truly seen the transformation in my self that I knew I was capable of. During the last two weeks - I'm finally feeling what this transformation is all about. Its about MY transforamtion. Its not about adapting my workout routine to other people in the gym. Its not about trying the latest nutrition program that everyone else is trying. This transformation is about looking inside ME and doing what will work for ME !! For the first time in my life, I see that what works for everyone else - just might not work for me. And just because everyone else is trying the NO Carb High Fat High Protein diet - I don't have to follow suit. I know the BFL program works for me, I know how it makes me feel so why do I give into peer pressure and all those empty promises. To answer the question - what am I willing to give up ? I'm willing to give up my follower attitude and follow the plan I know works for me. That plan is the Body for Life Nutrition Plan! I dont' have to answer to anyone about what I'm doing - not anyone except me. Wow is this a great feeling !!! I hope everyone keeps reaching for their goals - Bill you have such a way of inspiring people - Please keep it up ! Have a fabulous day ! Keep Reaching ! Cat
Changing myself physically is very important to me. I want to be proud of what others see when they look at me. That is not all that I want though. I want to be inspiring to others as well as myself. I want to quit the fight and live peacefully. I must give up looking for faults in everything and look for the positive and live and be happy with the positive.
I am not looking for body perfection--just to be able to keep moving freely without pain for the rest of my life. Transformation has taken me to the gym and with regular exercise now in full swing i can acieve this physical goal. With regards to my inner self i am quite proud of that. I don't hold grudges, i allow and want all human beings to be free and happy. I accept everyone's point of view whether right or wrong--we are all entitled to our own opinions. my life is not perfect, maybe it could be better, i know it could be worse. I've been blessed with a lovely family and have met a few very good friends--for life.The one thing i need to give up is those wasted, negative thoughts that creep in to my head daily, you know the ones ' must do this, must do that, when will i get this done etc, etc' my son or Daughter are talking to me and i'm ignoring them because those thoughts are overspilling into my ear drum--can't hear anything else. I need to give them up and open my ears and head to what the most important people in my life are saying to me. Listen, and don't think so much!!!
I wasn't really sure how to answer this, What am I willing to give up? I want to give up all the bad habits that got me here in this shape that I'm in. But just as important to me is to begin to really live and enjoy my life. For that I have to give up the depression/pity parties and to become a happy person. To forgive myself and others. Be willing to do the work to achieve those results. . . It's begun to happen so I'm sure I'm on the right track. I'm utterly amazed at the results especially those for my inner self.
Of course I want the physical transformation but in order to look good outside you have to take care of your inside...I want to let go of the self-pity, self-destruction, selfishness and competitiveness behaviors and start living and enjoying MYSELF for who I am...I want to stop being my worst critic and instead be the best motivator for me and others...Thank you Bill for this assignment...it really made me look deeper inside myself...take care, Vicky
I am sorry it took me so long to answer this.I had to really think and search on this one.I was born with a very soft and loving heart but raised with a very strong worrier spirit.It took me a long time to let go all the rage,hate,hurt and anger,to forgive all that had harmed me and to forgive myself. The reason I started this journey was to learn and grow,to bring spirit,mind and body together,better,stronger and wiser on all levels and all ways.I did not enter to win this transformation,as I am not here to beat anyone else.I only compete against myself,so that I my grow and be more able to help others see in there self there own importance and that they matter.I am humble and thankful for your wisdom and I will keep learning as we go,every day is a new lesson. Always with positivity and forward motion.-T-dog-Scott
For 9 years, I've been a wife. For 7 years, I've been a mommy. Somewhere along the way, I've lost the one person I knew the most about....me. I can look in the mirror sometimes and don't even recognize myself anymore. Putting other peoples' needs before my own, I've forgotten what I want in life. Not now.....I want my life back. Don't get me wrong, I am SO blessed to have the husband and children I have. But I want to start getting me back and being happy with me. The only way I can do this is to surrender everything to God. My husband says I'm a control freak. Maybe I am. Maybe that's how I am able to handle a household and 4 children. But, now, I'm ready to surrender my life, my thoughts, my actions to God. I want to look in the mirror and see the beauty that God created. I don't want to walk in a room and be ashamed of my appearance. I am willing to let go. I am willing to run the extra mile, I am willing to do the extra set of weights. I am willing to eat the right portion and ONLY that. I am willing to eat the right foods. I am willing to dedicate quiet time everyday with the Lord. I am willing to be still and quiet and open my heart in prayer so that He can lead my life. I want to be me; therefore, I am willing to let God's will be!!! Running by FAITH, Mona
I’m letting go, I’m free! I let go of pain, anger, and self destruction. There is a plan for my life and I keep interfering with it. God has a purpose for each one of us and I don’t want to miss the experience or opportunity to serve Him because I am to busy holding on to so much baggage. Everything that has happened in my life from my early years to now has happened to transform me into the person I was meant to be. Some people planned it to harm me but God will use it for His glory. I am slowly learning this and am excited to be on this journey. Life is a process and it has many seasons that we enter. I believe by letting go I am entering a season of faith, health, physical fitness, and mentally and emotionally preparing for something bigger. The spiritual battle has been fought and won, so why do I take it upon myself to try to fix things? I am letting go of control issues that I really don’t have any control over. I am preparing my whole being to be used to help others in a greater way than I thought I could.
My transformation began a few months ago, when my husband and I faced the biggest challenge of our lives. At that time, I "gave it up". I totally surrendered everything to GOD. The peace that came with that was beyond explanation. Circumstances changed and life proceeded. It became apparent that other aspects of my life needed transforming too. Health and fitness were only a part of it. As before, Bill Phillips has mentored me in that area. Life continues to be challenging but by giving up my self will, and being grateful for my abundant blessings ( yes, the challenges are a blessing.....sometimes you have to look hard to find them, or to accept it on faith) I have found the road less rocky and much more pleasant. It isn't a war. It is a journey.
I started out wanting a physical transformation. To get into fantastic shape so that I just didn’t have to think about it anymore and could get about my life without worrying about what I can fit into. As the days passed, the opportunity to serve on the transformation team was intriguing– kind of “woo-hoo, that’d be cool”. But that isn’t what’s drawn me here. Neither is winning $20,000 – although being able to give that away is appealing. When you sweetened the pot with the trips to Hawaii – that, too, was cool, but I really didn’t crave it. I have such a beautiful life and my needs are simple. Initially I felt “I can and will do this without any bumps in the road, I will do it perfectly– you’ll see, I have it under control this time”. . . and that really was my intention. I’m ending week 11 today and have definitely had my obstacles. I think I glossed over them ‘cause who wants to admit they aren’t in control. But it seems like the harder I’ve tried the more resistance I’ve run up against. When I read about so many on this site doing SO well, losing so much weight - I feel kind of embarrassed – how can I share that I’m outta wack with the program? Things kinda came to a head in the night - Our family has been in a bit of a turmoil the last few weeks with the recurrence of our granddaughter’s Leukemia – lots of nasty treatments, lots of personal involvement and . . . I have allowed myself to slip into old patterns.. I’ve done the exercise, but I’ve really let the food get out of control, and when you do it once, then again . . . it’s hard to stop that train wreck. I wanted SO badly to say screw it, and use this situation as an excuse . . . it is a good one after all, isn’t it? But the one thing I promised myself is that no matter what – I will not quit! I woke up at 1:30 this morning, feeling pretty freaked out. How can I turn this around? Since I couldn’t sleep, I found myself begging, praying, PLEASE help me, no matter how I try to do this I stumble and fall on my face – and I’m losing confidence – time is running out - how is it possible to want something SO badly and yet not put in all the effort required”. Slowly this calm settled over me and my answer came “you are making progress - what’s your hurry? So what if in 7 more weeks you haven’t reached what you see as your ultimate physical goal-you don't need to struggle - you just need to BE!” I awakened later that morning, with a renewed sense of peace and pleasure. I heard someone complaining about the heavy Christian influence to be found here – and there’s definitely a bunch of Christian brothers & sisters on this site - I love Sunshine123 & Coach Brad. Stoney is always there to lend support and give advice, as well as many others. Then there’s Denise, who by walkin’ the talk, has taught me lessons about life and death and keepin’ my eyes on the Coach, that have changed the way I live my life and think about death, forever. Just the other night I was able to share with my daughter, Denise & Jonnae’s story, and how Denise made it possible to for Jonnae to leave this earthly body with a smile on her face knowing that all is how it should be. I know Denise was placed here by God to help me help my daughter and granddaughter through this. There will always be those with whom we disagree, but to me, this is the most beautiful place to receive and offer encouragement, share your heart, your heartache, your dreams, your fun, your fears, your transformation successes and blunders. Thank you SO much for this wonderful gathering place, Bill – I LOVE my extended family. Terrie
I will give up my negativity and the feeling like I am just merely existing. I have so much to be thankful for, yet I always feel like there's something more to life. I think about this often. I always look back on times in my life where I was thinking these exact thoughts...that I'm not where I should be in life, or I'm not successful enough....but then I think to myself, if I was anywhere else at that point in my life, just for one instant, I might not be where I am today...married to a great woman, and the father of two wonderful children. If I did one thing just a little different, I might not have even met my wife. And to think, just for a second, that my son or daughter would not have existed...that would just be a giant loss to this world. You would have to meet them to know what I mean. My daughter, who is only three, is constantly telling my wife and my mother how beautiful they are, and she tells me constantly how she thinks I'm so handsome. I guess I can learn a lot from her. So, let me get back from this tangent I went on. I will let go of my negativity and I guess I can call it "regrets". Because there is no place I would rather be than where I am. I keep up a positive attitude around my children, so I will keep it up the rest of the day.
Bill, I'm going to be honest with you. I started this transformation challenge off and running like a bat out of hell. I had EVERYTHING down to the T. I was on fire, but I have been struggling, I've been fighting this very fight you mentioned. I haven't been on the internet a lot lately, there's been a lot going on, and I have been dealing with a major gap in my relationship with my wife. You see, I have become a much different person, a better one. I've put a lot of the principles in this program and in others to the test and I've found they are REAL truth. Although my wife doesn't think that I'm crazy because of how some of my beliefs have changed, we are not in the same "place" anymore, if you will. We talk about it all that time, the fact that we feel as though we are on two totally different levels, and it's really been tearing me apart. I want you to know that this lesson has given me so much hope. That's all I've been doing is fighting this, THINKING of all the ways to make it better instead of FEELING it better. I've not been to the gym in weeks because I've felt so destroyed by this, to be married for only 3 months and already this void.... it's been something that has broken me. Now I'm ready, now I have learned that pain preceeds realization of big change. Suffering is on some level or another necessary to grow. I now realize that this time out of the gym, this whole thing the way it's happened has been because it's EXACTLY what it needed to be in order for me to become, as you said, AWARE that I need to give up the fight. The apostle Paul always wondered why he would do the things that he wished and prayed not to do. You said it all when you "What we resist persists." WOW. What a revelation! Bill, thank you. You have become one of the most influential and inspirational teachers I have ever come to know, even through BFL and this site, I feel as though I know you. I know that you teach TRUTH, and that is what I believe in. I've been burned by a lot of teachers, a lot of places and people that I went to seeking truth, and I've found in that seeking that you as well as some others' material and teachings were given to me as a result. For truly, if you seek, you shall find. Thanks again. By the way, I'll be back in the gym today at 5PM, NOT fighting, but BEING THE CHANGE. Very Sincerely, Jeremy
Wow what a loaded lesson. I have had to really think and reflect on this one for a bit. For me there was a lot that I had to give up. I had to give up my sense of urgency and desperation. I traded one form of negative "self talk" for another. So instead of "I'm fat" "I look awful" "I am so unhappy" it became "Why aren't I changing" "What more do I have to do" "This isn't working" " I am wasting my time" " I don't get it". I was constantly frustrated and felt that things HAD to change and quickly - RIGHT NOW...I deserved it damn it I was working SO hard!!! So trading negative for negative did nothing for me. Then Jonnae and Denise came into my world. Almost overnight my entire attitude changed to I GET TO DO THIS...I am healthy, I am capable, I am committed and I GET TO DO THIS. The numbers don't HAVE to change...I felt a instant calm in my heart and in my soul and let go of my frustration, urgency and desperation. I focused on enjoying my time with my exercising, being grateful for the time I got to spend with my children hiking all summer long, being grateful for the gift of life that God has given me, and giving up my selfish attitude. I focused my attention and positive energy to others, here at T.com...everything just fell into place almost over night and I was basically re-born. Through sharing my story here, through encouraging and motivating others and being an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on.... I put OTHERS first and it helped ME in the most wonderful ways imaginable. This truly was not just about ME. I also had to give up my excuses...and Lord knows I had a bunch! I deserved to be unhappy and miserable my entire life has been a struggle and painful so its ok if I am fat and miserable...I should be...RIGHT? NO! I had to learn that the things told to me as a child were lies and I had to let go of the damage I allowed it to do for far too long. No more excuses...there just is no good excuse to continue to live in my own self proclaimed hell...no reason whatsoever. So I had to let it go.....and just let it be! I GOT TO let go of a lot of stuff and none of it was good or benefiting me in any way.....so be gone...and never come back...for I control my life, my destiny, my happiness from here on out
This lesson was very confusing for me to understand. I have thought about it for some time now. I even sought outside help to understand. I am thinking that for me – it means that now my good habits are in place - Good Eating Habits - How to exercise, I do not think about this anymore, I have surrendered to the fact that my body, soul and faith will take care of me. Yes, I can always do better. However, now I know, my inner strength and faith have taken over and I feel I am on automatic. It feels great not to worry about how and when to workout – what to eat and when (yes, I still miss a few meals) on the whole my being is doing well. This gives me more time to enjoy life and to be there for others.
I want to be OK with looking good on the outside and stop thinking I am not as good as others. Inside I know my demons are what incapacitate my efforts to improve myself. I desperately want to look and feel great but I harbor a deep fear of attracting the notice of predators and I know I self-sabotage my efforts. Knowing this, confronting this is a big step in the battle but it is still a HUGE obstacle that is oh so hard to overcome. In my preteen youth, I was sexually molested repeatedly and I know this is the reason I have struggled with weight and self-esteem my whole life. This internal battle has been waging for many years. I face this clash of wills daily and usually let my self-preservation mode win out over what I know will be the better road for me in the long run. Thank you to Bill and everyone here for the positive messages and inspiration to help in the war that wages within.
What is most important to me at this point is not caring what other people are thinking about me. This whole transformation is NOT about them, it's about me and what "I" need to work on. This has always been a "bad habit" throughout my life; worrying about what other people, including my family, are thinking about who I am and what I'm doing. And with that, I have always been guarded about myself and have had a "closed mind" toward other people, and their thoughts and ideas. This is the first time I have responded or entered my thoughts over the internet, but after reading and applying the assignments throught this Transformation and reading the entries of others, I have come to realize what I need to do to fullfil my goals. I need to "surrender" my fears, my insecurities, and my past to accomplish what I need to do. I must "give-up" on being closed minded and open my mind to all possibilities and opinions and be able to listen and be truthful about who I am and what I need to accomplish. "This is only the beginning!"
I have been living with the falsehood that if I look good on the outside then I am healthy on the inside. I don't know if that has been ingrained in me from other people's perception of me or if That's the image I want to believe. A while back, my focus unintentionally changed during my transformation to the inner self. That was a big eye opener for me and now I need the outside just a little bit to still feed my EGO! What I really want from this transformation is to be the healthiest I can be on the inside, to lessen so meds, and to be happy with where I am in my life
So far I've given up the need to reward myself with food. That is surface. Deep down I've given in to feeling great physically spiritually and emotionally. I love sharing how I got to look and feel so good. I'm starting now an exercise group on Saturdays for those that don't want to be Diet and Exercise people, but want a comraderie. I love to share this great feeling of being in control of my life. It's still craZY busy, but, I am handling it better than ever before. AND, it's because of the ENERGY YOU PROMISED. kennie
At the risk of a answer that is too much like the question, I am willing to give up the struggle. I want inner peace, and for me that comes from letting go and letting God. When I struggle to control or attach to outcomes, the peace is gone. I am also learning that good results in life can come much easier than my perception. I think I've always thought if there was a harder way, tell me so I can really prove myself! The bliss that comes from a gentler way of being with myself, others and with life in general is what makes the peace attainable.
I needed time with this assignment and when I stopped thinking about, I felt my answer! I'm ready to give up the drama I'm so good at creating and relax into life allowing it to happen in Divine Order. In holding on so tightly, trying to control everthing, that I've choked the joy out of the journey of each day. I'm willing to let go and allow life to unfold. I've set my goals and I'll keep moving in the direction I've chosen, yet I'll allow God to help me along the way, even if Iit leads to a detour I hadn't anticipated. I'm ready to give up the idea that I have to do it all myself and accept the fact that I'lm not alone in my transformation.
This is real personal and humbling for me to post this here for everyone and God to see. Most of my life I have struggled with feeling inferior, second to all. However, through faith in God I knew a better day would come. And it did. I overcame low self-esteem and depression and chose never to go back. Nevertheless, years later I suffered heartbreak. I built walls to keep from being hurt. However, what I really did was imprison myself to keep me from becoming the person I was supposed to become. Before the walls I felt I had a gift of compassion for those with needs—spiritual, physical and psychological. My heart always felt for those of need. I never understood how one could hate or not be compassionate towards other people. God made all people equal. The walls blinded me from my basic beliefs and my life was miserable. The walls allowed me to put up a front around other people and I hid my true feelings. Until one friend opened my eyes. This person saw something behind the walls that I myself could not see--ME. From that point the walls began to crumble. And now I have given up the fight to rebuild them. Amen—Let it Be.
Since coming to this site and being involved in this transformation it has made me look back at the last nine or ten years of my life. It's sobering to see where you've been and to look at the details in a way to try to decide if you've grown, if you're a better person, if you've done the right things and if you're doing enough. Enough for family, enough for friends, enough for people. Because of this site I have come to write down many things that have happened in my life over the last few years. I have taken the time to put it out in front of me and pour over the details and because of this it has enabled me to relive and revisit and see the importance of each and every special moment, and realize just how these times have shaped me and made me who I am. I realize that I need to be the very best I can so I can represent what I stand for and believe in. I think I've got to give up the past to get what I what from this transformation. Not that the past was bad but I think we tend to cling to the past and hold onto the times that were special or when we felt good about ourselves and that holds us back from doing more and being better. I believe we are to let the Lords living waters flow through us to reach others and in time they can do the same. I just need to go to bed each night knowing I've done my best that day to help someone do that. The dedication it takes to eat right and workout must be applied to the heart and make sure it gets that same dedication.
What an interesting thing to consider - I am willing to give up everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience. It is funny because really how I arrived here was a result of giving up everything and trusting God. I had struggled with health and weight for about 10 years in sobriety and someone I trusted said to me you need to get your relationship with God right and when you do your health and weight issues will be dealt with, I believed that and I concentrated on my relationship with God - through that relationship I became ready to start this transformation journey and then I received an email to come check out the transformation site and challenge. I trust that God is working inside of me because I feel good, I feel right with God, and I know he is there with me every step throughout my day. I am progress not perfection. I did not enter this transformation so that I could win any physical prize, I entered this transformation because I wanted my physical, mental and spiritual sides to all align. The gifts that come from that alone are amazing and enough. I am willing to reprioritize my life - spend more time in prayer - leave work on time and go to the gym - plan so that I eat right - go to bed earlier - I am willing to continue to set aside everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience with God and this transformation process. Setting everything aside has truly transformed my life!
This took a few days to get honest with and dig deep. Being afraid of making mistakes is what keeps me from being my true self. This is what I'm willing to give up and be free of. It becomes a chain reaction of ego driven behaviors I don't like in myself. To give this up means to be honest and live free of self-judgement. To live easier.. to let go.. to be myself without worry of pleasing or doing things right for the wrong reasons. I'm understanding that making mistakes is an opportunity for growth and this is helping me in giving up something that was such a big part of me.... I continue the work for Transformation.
I am willing to give up the comfort zone that I have built up around me.....I want to step out of my box and just be me.
Bill...so the question, "What do I really want?" is a toughie. I think all of my life I have been struggling with that one. I think through this transformation I have finally figured that out. I just want to be me. It sounds simple, but in actuallity it is very complex. I have finally let go of the expectations of the world and I am truly happy at the life I have. I have a great husband and four crazy kids. I wouldn't change that for a second. I want to be the best mom, wife, daughter, and person I can be. I also want to be excited about life each and everyday. When I wake up I get to exercise. Isn't that a blessing. It's all good. Thank you so much for believing in me and the rest of the transformation-ites out there. LaNae
I had to think about this one and took a long walk at lunch to think it over. My transformation is focused on three areas; my health, my relationship with God, and birthing a ministry. The health area is the obvious one, but I am having to give up making myself feel good with food. Giving up temporary happiness and coping and replacing it with feeling my feelings and not always having the ability to resolve the issues instantly. Spiritually I have to give up myself and some of my negative attitudes, sins, or ways of doing things. This also means I have to be willing to give up friendships that sabotage my growth. Which is not easy for me because I love people and tend to have a high tolerancy for their issues. It means being humbled and examining my heart so that I can become a better person. It means being vulnerable to my God and being vulnerable even with God is not always easy if you have been hurt in the past. Finally, ministry. I have to be willing to let go of aspects of myself, how I feel and my opinions in order to better work with people. I have to keep my mouth shut more often and focus my words and insight on things that will help others. This is not easy as have always had an opinion. But I need to keep focused on why I am doing what I do and it is not so I can give my opinion. I have to sacrifice socially in order to produce a book and get everything up and going which can be lonely at times. I have to be more selective as to who I let into my inner circle and discover where I draw the line as far as letting others into my personal life. I experienced the negative aspect of this recently and I realized not everyone is rooting for me and everyone has an opinion. So I need to make a decision to protect my privacy but also have those few that I trust to keep me accountable.
Since I was 18,(I will soon be 50) I have done physical transformations. Up and down and all around. Last year I did my last one. When I was done I sure looked good on the outside but was empty on the inside. At that time I knew I had to give up the craziness (my anger, hate, jealousy, competitiveness,) With all that stuff I accumalated, I became the very person I did not like. Who cares if your body has some thinness or muscle and the inside looks like garbage. I felt like I had to just go and sit in a field of just loving me. I sat there for some time. And as I sat there, my physical changed, I gained weight, but I was at a point where I really seen who I was and I loved me. I knew that it would all be good, . I started asking to feel good again physically, I kept my spirit up and I was given what I asked for. I am up at 4:45 at the gym with a big smile. I eat right, not to be better then anyone, but for me, so I feel good. Everyday I love me, not in 12 weeks or tommorow. Today is the day!
I prayed today and every Sunday for this. That God will use me as he wants to, so that I can be his love to someone around me who needs to feel His love. To hear God call upon me loud and clear is what I feel is part of the inner transformation that He wants of me.
Bill, like many others, I feel as though you have given this assignment just for me. It has been 5 and a half years since my wife passed away and I am still running. I can give up whatever time I need to in order to excercise and get in good physcial condition, but in order to move on emotionally, I need to stop running and meditate or something similiar. I am working on this, but I find it difficult to do for long stretches at a time. Thanks for raising my level of awareness.
I want to be genuine. I want to be authentically ME - not the person that I think that I should be or that someone else wants me to be. The person I was created to be is good and whole and does not need to be someone or something else. I want to better know the real me - and get comfortable being me. I want to let go of my concern for what others think of me, how they see me, even what someone else thinks of this response. To be genuine, I need to give up my self-consciousness. One thing that I think will help with that is to take more time to know myself. I need to give up some of the time that I spend on the computer and reading and use that time in prayer, meditation, and journaling.
Three words describe what I want most out of this experience – Happiness, Joy, Freedom. To be happy, joyous and free seems like a courageous challenge of the will against the forces of frustration, fear and failure. But that is so bogus. Why would I believe such a thing? I probably don't want to give up control (If I do what I want that means I don't have to do anything). I probably don't want to give up living beyond my means (If I do that I will be just like my peers- average ). I probably don't want to give up “melancholy.” That's not a fruit, its my state of mind that excuses greater ambitions (If I do that I don't have to face my own accountability). I've kind of learned after 50 years of “doing it my way” that it might be time to start living a different way. It's already begun. Simple things have truly been inspiring. Seeing change, documenting it, and enjoying every minute of it keeps me believing in achieving. I want to give up the habits that drag me down the most (Control-I like it my way, Consumption-accumulating stuff, Complaints-negativity towards self or others). AND I WANT TO CONTINUE THE CONTINUOUS POSITVE PROGRESS I'VE ENJOYED THESE PAST 35 DAYS....FOREVER. Thanks Bill!
I must second Shane's comment. I feel as if you got inside of me Bill and wrote this assignment just for me. I will give up control. I have been trying to control every aspect of my life and the cirecumstances around me so that I could control the fear that threatens to eat me up inside, Fear of What? EVERYTHING!! I will write in my blog to further explain my revelation that occurred for me yesterday. While on the back of a Harley I contemplated this assignment and discovered why I must give up the fight. I can't wait to see you bill in October in Pheonix so I can hug you for this one. You just took me over the edge. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! Love Annissa
Wow....ummm...well...for the past few years I have felt, and still feel, like I'm living in a bubble, emotionally separated from most people, but especially my Hombre. We pretty much have a sexless marriage. Part of it has to do with my self-image, and part of it has to do with his problem with alcohol. I have learned to hold back my love, not just physically, but also the most important part...the love that comes from deep within your soul and heart. I don't want to open myself up to possible hurt or disappointment, and I'm still holding on to my anger with his drinking. So I am very withdrawn from him. It's like living with a roommate. What am I ready to give up to continue this transformation? The answer would be to put down my gaurd, and allow myself to really feel love for this man, and maybe that will generate the same response from him, and we can begin to work towards a happy relationship. But the question is, will I allow myself to do that? I want to, sorta. How to do that? No idea. I guess I have to quit looking for a way out of this relationship first and foremost. So, I cannot say whether I'm ready to give up the wall I've built around my heart when it comes to him. So much more to say, so I'll have to finish this in my blog. Wow...
This post brought me to tears. It's this exact issue that I have been struggling with for over a year. I have made a good physical transformation over the last 4 years (kept 25lbs off and am strong as an ox now). I am working on my inner transformation, which is also good (just a few weeks away from being a certified fitness trainer). BUT, my physical transformation has stalled over the last year because of this very struggle. What I am resisting persists and I have not been able to figure out why I won't let myself get to the next level. To resist this positive change is gut wrenching, yet it must be more comfortable than getting to the next level because I'm not letting myself get there. For anyone going through this. I feel for you. I will let myself get there. Maybe this is just the post I needed to read to finally cross this abyss.
I am willing to give up what is man’s God or heaven......I am willing to accept my journey in this life as it is and leave the “How’s” to the Universe...... I do not have to follow blinded spiritual leaders and their vision for my life........ especially the ones who do not have a handle on their own life.....( "I wake up to the sound of Music"........I wish there was more room here to expand my full thought but I’ll save that for my blog today -Day 79- and over the course of the next 8 weeks)....Thanks for the lesson....~ Pete ~...... P.S. Paul's song in tribute to his Mother is a great piece for this lesson.
I will give up on "ME" and instead, redirect that energy into giving to others more often. Enhancing the greater good, whether that's 'giving up' a workout to spend more time with family and friends, becoming a more patient driver, lending an ear to someone, or by donating time, money, etc. will always do more for you than you can do for yourself. This has certainly held true for me in the past, and I will choose to work harder to make it more of a reality in my life from today on. I know I need some work in this area. =) Hey Bill, thanks for this positive, thought & action provoking post.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.” A great person once said that. I am going to give up my fight with outside influences. I mean my environment around me. It is something that is difficult to control. I probably never stood a chance. Instead of fighting my environment, People doing this, people doing that. People saying this, People saying that. These are things that I can not control. Though I have tried to correct people along the way, but what do I know! Now I am focussing on my own hologram in my head. I respect the environment around me and then taking that extra step each day toward a new direction. Being here with you all is one of those steps. Thank you all for letting me be here....Mark
What do I want...peace inside. I want to feel and look good yes, I am in a profession where fitness is important (exercise instructor), but I don't want that to be the end all - be all. I want a healthy relationship with my family without extreme expectations of who I should be, and what I should be and how I should be. I want to renew my faith in God and renew the strength that I use to get after each church service I attended. I am willing to give up my self sacrificing nature to grow & change these areas of my life. I am willing to say "no" when I don't want to do something someone requests of me and realize that I am not a bad person for saying it! I am willing to work at giving more of myself to the things that matter. I am willing to be, and let God take the wheel. Thanks Bill
My first reaction is to say "I am willing to do anything to feel as good as I am possibly able," but clearly, thats not the case! I get very trapped up in the physical aspect of all of this, i.e. "I want to look good" "I want to lift more" "I want I want I want" etc. What I really want, what I really REALLY want... is to feel good. Yeah, that simple. Just to feel good. During the day, at night, about myself, about others, about my life, what I have accomplished, what I HAVENT accomplished, etc. What am I willing to give up, huh? I am willing to give up the insanity that I bring into my life when I become obsessed. Too much of anything, for me at least, is never a good thing. I think somewhere in this challenge I got a little mixed up and got obsessed with lifting, eating, etc. Totally forgot the whole "want to feel good" thing, and replaced it with "want to feel crazy." So, what willing to give up is my mental obsession. Easier said than done. Its going to take surrender, and some humbling of myself to get that done. But, there it is. Feel good. Thats all I want, and Im going to get there by not living in the insanity of obsession.
I love it! I am willing to give up the need to be right, and the need to control others. I am willing to give up the fear of being wrong I am willing to give up self doubt, and self persecution. Thank you for leading me on this journey of transformation. For I becoming alive, so alive finally. I am starting to GET IT! Jeff
What I will give up is waiting. Waiting till everything is right or perfect to go after what I want. As you said, "don't worry about the things that are beyond our control. Thanks Bill.
What am I willing to give up? Perfection. What do I mean by perfection? It’s when someone tells me “You can’t” and then I made it my mission to say “I can and I will” to prove a point. Trying to prove a point is very exhausting, time consuming, and extremely stressful. I developed this trait after my marriage ended because I wanted to prove to myself and everyone else that I could succeed on my own after a 15 year marriage came to an end. Needless to say I gave up my health and zeal for life because of it. What do I mean by perfection? I say “Yes” when I should have said “No” in some instances. Saying “Yes” all time to keep someone happy made me unhappy. Because of this, people have high expectation of me. This year I had a “light bulb” moment. It happened in my doctor’s office. I discovered I am not a perfect. Truth is I am a far from being perfect….I will never be perfect. When I had that “light bulb” moment….I struggled with that truth for a while. Then I found the “T” and entered the Transformation. All that exhaustion began to unravel; the layers are being peeled away and the real me is emerging. I’ve learned to say “No” and the world did not come to an end. I’m laughing and smiling more. This transformation thus far has made me stronger and more aware of life. I never use to look up at the stars in the heaven; I do now. I want to wake up every morning and say “I choose to live”. And if I can make one person smile each day, then that day was a good day. No, I am not perfect. I am as God has made me in spirit. And that is the truth. Thanks Bill for another well thought out Assignment.
Prior to starting this transformation, I was bitter for having to give up "my life" my career as an artist and go to work full time in our business. As the weeks passed, I was reminded as I have been so often in the past, "in all things be thankful". When I finally gave up my own self interest and was thankful for the opportunities, my attitude started to change. I saw how I was in a place to help others, not only our service recipients who are developmentally delayed, but also our staff. When our executive director abruptly left and I was thrown into assuming those responsibilities, I was emotionally prepared for the challenge, as I was being transformed. Each day, I face challenges, but my attitude has changed, and now I enjoy what I am doing. Sure, I miss my art, and some day, I will be able to return to it, but now, I am where GOD wants me to be and I am trying to "let it be" and be the obedient servant.
It took me some time to give up and give over to God my marriage. Funny how after a while God is so in control of my marriage that all I have to do is wake up everyday and my marriage just works. We get through everything and there is no fear of failure. It just works- praise be to God. BUT my struggle is giving up my physiacl body. I have been so physical my whole life- it took me years to get over the fear of death. Now I just have a fear of aging. I see the changes my body makes and it seems so out of my control. I thought all I had to do was eat right and exercise my whole life and I wouldnt get those "bat wings" under my armpits, the saggy skin over my knees and elbows and the mommy pouch. But guess what??? I am still trying to control fervently what I cannot. I began last week working on giving this up to God. It will take time- as every good change does, but it starts with awareness and then action begins. I am in the middle of the true transformation . And it all comes down to one thing- put God first, and it is amazing how He takes care of us. I had a demon called "sugar" that was slowly destroying me. I worked hard and gave it up. I exercise and eat right- really right. the rest is up to Him.
Bill, When I read this I actually became emotional. This assignment is actually lifting a big weight from my shoulders. You ask "What am I going to give up?" I'm going to give up the need to meet the expectations of others. I will now only live my dream.
HEALTHY BODY+HEALTHY MIND+HEALTHY SPIRIT=TRANSFORMATION.What I have given up is a very unhealthy lifestyle and taking panic/anxiety meds(150 mg three times a day) and let GOD heal my mind and spirit and HE has led me to you,BILL through the old BFL plan and now to true TRANSFORMATION.I have seven weeks left on this and not only has my body changed but my mind has too.The three to five hours that I spend exercising are now my "drugs"of choice and frozen whey protein made w/soymilk is my "ice cream"treat!!!!! "And ye(you)shall know the Truth and the Truth will set you free".And it has!!!!!!!!! Thank you Bill. Rusty
"The fight to let Go" Wow that is so powerful and so much meaning to me right now. I have and will and in the process of giving up the fight, giving up the fight to fight. Seems like lately for the past few years everytime I turn around I am fighting with someon. fighting with my teen ager over something stupid, arguing with anyone that would take the time to hear me out. It's not that I'm tired of fighting, I fight for what I believe in, yet I am ready to stop the fight of the simple little arguments that make me try to prove that I am always right. I am not always right and even if I am, I don't have to prove it. It's the little things I am giving up to get what I want. what do I want? I just want to be happy and peaceful and like myself. I want to stop feeling like if I say something I will hurt someones feelings or get them mad at me. I want to stop feeling so stressed out like I can't breathe in my own home or like I am constancely walking on eggshells. To get what I want see,s simple, maybe it is, but to me it is a challenge. I have begun the challenge and the challenge is winning, I'm seeing the difference. I'm not stressed to the max. I'm not walking on eggshells, I'm not making a drink and saying oh what the heck, who cares anyway. I'm fighting the battle within myself to feel differently about others opionions, acknowledge there right to their opinion and not jusge weather is't right or wrong or fight that I am right or wrong. I'm living a healthy life not only because of my diet a and exercises choices but because of the choices I am making to keep my mouth shut when I should and say something productive if I should. Thanks Bill, This challenge is not only getting more interesting but it's giving me the chance to stand away from myslf and look in at the real me and notice what has to change. Love, GET*HER*DONE Linda Ann Smith
Bill, Bill, Bill… you’ve done it again! This is my favorite topic yet. Of all the things I have learned from you over the years, nothing has had a greater impact than your insight of “knowing what you must give up to get what you want.” Here are the two things that I believe, with every fiber of my being, were the most instrumental elements of my transformation: #1 - I gave up telling the “old” story, which sounded something like this: THE OLD STORY: “I am a soft, non-athletic soccer mom with two kids. I’m in my mid forties – what makes me think I can look eighteen again??? I have a career, a great family, and I look okay – why should I kill myself with exercise?? Besides, I’m smart enough to know that with my schedule, I’ll never stick to any exercise program! I like food way too much to change the way I eat…” I got rid of that worn out story and replaced it with the new story: THE NEW STORY: “I am a strong, healthy, talented human being. I am completely capable of transforming myself into exactly the person I have always dreamed of… athletic, energetic, tight and lean, happy, certain, attractive and sexy. I am made up of the same physical material as thousands of other healthy people who have completely transformed their bodies, reversed the aging process and become better and better and better. That is who I am. That is what I continue to become.” I told the new story, I believed the new story, I became the new story. #2 - I gave up the attitude that working out had to be agony – that it was a chore that must be done and gotten over with as soon as possible. When I gave up this attitude and began looking for and experiencing the joy and satisfaction that every set, every rep provided, everything changed for me, especially my body. It’s not that every workout was sheer joy from that point on, but my approach now is that every workout COULD potentially be the most joyful part of my day, instead always taking the attitude, “it’s hard, it’s tough, I gotta push, push, push myself to do it…” These two things: telling the NEW story and taking the NEW attitude towards my workouts and nutrition plan has carried me for over 9 years. It have brought me more happiness and satisfaction than any other single change. So, once again, I feel compelled to say, “Thanks Bill, from the bottom of my heart,” for uttering those words so many years ago, “Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.” ABD - AWESOME BEYOND DESCRIPTION!
I'm letting go of my "Cravings." Craving for the next bowl of ice cream, the next new gadet, the next glass of wine, the next vacation, the next purchase. I realize that too much of my life has been spent living in the craving zone and that I need to spend more time enjoy what I have, the current journey I'm on and the bigger and more important things in my life.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.”---- When I heard you first ask that in Body of Work, I wrote it down in my journal. It was powerful then and even more powerful now. It is far deeper and more outside of myself. BEFORE: it was very rooted in the physical world...health, less pain and discomfort from carrying excess weight...Now the transformation is soulful and about something bigger....somehow global....
Bill, I would like to share with everyone what “Giving up the fight” has meant to me. When I gave up the fight I had reached a point in my life where nothing made sense. I was loosing everything I had worked so hard for, and didn't know what to do next. I was raised with a knowing that I was loved and that god had a plane for everything he created, But do to the fact that we tell ourselves that we have to create all the good this life has to offer, I had chosen to experience this life on my own.. The day I surrendered to his love, was the day my Transformation fell in to place. God has given me a peace inside and a knowing that this has all been part of his plan and that nothing happens by coincidence.. I have been able to release the fear that the world seems to live-in telling us that we aren’t worthy of his favor. I can see how so many people are afraid to let there spirits free, because we have been taught that we are not worthy of his plan and so we just exist rather than experience his LOVE.. I know that I have a long way to go but I’m on my way with a knowing that he is leading my every foot step, and he has a divine purpose for us all. We should all feel very special and accept his love, for it is the gift he gave us ALL “He loved us all so much he sent his own son to experience death that we might live for all eternity.. If we can all accept this gift there is NO Fight… Keep Shinning the Light. John
It is so hard for me to express how this post really hit home with me. This assignment ties into #8 for me. I have to be willing to give up *control* in order to suceed. And what I mean by that is my perceived control of everything & everyone else around me...but me. Like coach said I have given it up before, just to turn around & take it right back. The few times before I have given up trying to control everyone else, I felt such freedom. Obviously it didn't last long & I started doing it again a co-dependent life. It is like I keep thinking if all the outside cirsumstances are just right, *then* I can do this. I know now I need to do it anyway. That things will never be totally perfect, or whatever *my* idea of perfect is. I just need to give up the internal struggle, the constant fight, like you said & just let it be. Just do the work & KNOW that things will come together however they are supposed to & accept it may not be the exact way *I* thought it was supposed to turn out. I hope I made sense.
Quick correction, The reminder OF (not or), thanks again
I am amazed at how in sync this messege is with just what I thought about this morning. I hold on to an expectation a resultant, and then when I let it go and still continue with the process I chose to take me there, I enjoy not only a phenomenal result, I also allow myself to feel the joy the process itself generate. I want to LIVE! Live well, with passion, gratitude, inspiration, joy, love and full consciousness!!! Thank you Bill for the reminder or what I am here for
living life out of fear and not enjoying what gifts I am given. I GIVE UP THAT!
Before I started this challenge, I wasn't able to leave my house. I missed my cousin's wedding in March and sat in the house and cried all day because I was so afraid and so sad I couldn't be there with the rest of my family to celebrate. This fear thing started out of nowhere about eight years ago when I was driving and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. The docs called it a panic attack and it just kept getting worse. So I started the challenge wanting to change in many ways. Lately, I've been really discouraged because I'm not seeing any physical changes, even after two months of rarely missing a day of exercise, eating write and working so hard. When I read your title, Bill, "Giving Up the Fight" I thought it was about giving up the challenge and quitting. I've done that three times before. I have no intention of quitting. But this assignment...this is harder. I feel like I've given up so much of life already because of this fear. I was fully focused on this challenge and my change. Or was I? As I think back over this challenge, I see I have missed morning workouts before breakfast, I've skipped meals, I've stayed up late -- and it's always for the same reason: I live on my computer. My life is centered around it, especially since I got so sick. Well that's history. Since I started this challenge, I have been able to go outside and walk. I've been able to drive again and I'm freaking crying as I write that because it's been YEARS since I could do normal every day things like this. I've felt like such a freak, and I've missed out on so much. Yesterday I drove all the way to Cape May with my kids and went to the beach and got a sunburn and visited an art gallery. It was life -- sun, wind, sand -- OUTSIDE. So I'm giving up my computer addiction. I'm planning my workouts for outside as much as possible and getting away from the front of this seductive silver box. I'll allow myself evenings but it gets shut off at midnight -- no exceptions. My days are going to be filled with sunshine again and life, not virtual life. Thank you Bill. You rock.
...to "let go" and let God! As long as I strive everyday to reach my personal best in every area, leave the rest up to Him. It will all happen in His time anyway, whether I "take responsibility" or not! :D
I would wake up daily with minimal sleep or no sleep at all because who and what I was hanging around. I was losing businesses and financially losing everything I had worked for, I was getting behind on bills. I was losing my health, I was eating poorly, fast food, candy bars, beer sometimes drugs whatever that made me feel good. Hell, at that time, that 15min of whatever and whenever was the only thing that made me feel good. I was losing my good positive friends replacing them with negative people. I was in the wrong enviroment 100% of the time. My relationship with my girlfriend was failing and drama everyday. I was losing all confidence and all dreams and goals that I once had. I was depressed and really at times didn't care to live another day. I was so unhappy with every aspect in my life, I complained and worried about everything. I hit rock bottom. In a nut shell that was my life a year ago. What I had to give up! I gave up all negative friends and even girlfriend and now only place positive people in my life. I gave up no sleep for 6-8 hrs of sleep. I gave up feeding my body with bad things like food, drugs and beer, and started feeding it with healthy foods and supplements. I gave up television, I don't even have one now, for books or inspirational music, I gave up bad enviroments and replaced it with a gym membership and volunteer at the hospital weekly. I gave up all complaining and worrying and replaced it with 100% responsibility for my life. I gave up no self esteem for confidence. I gave up a very unhappy life for a very happy life. I am truly enjoying my life more and more everyday! I LOVE MY LIFE! I have found during this whole transformation that I can be happy with little to no money! I can be happy without TV. I can be happy without McDonalds. This is the first time I have ever admitted any of this to anyone but myself, yes it is embarrasing, some of the things I have done and its embarrasing that I lost everthing I worked hard for. However, without all that happing I would not be where I am at today. So thank you GOD for everything from past to present. Thank you.
What I am willing to give up, and which is a toughie, is PRIDE. I know now that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. Unfortunately I actually did lose almost everything before I got the wake-up call--lost my business, lost a family member, lost my house, came extremely close to losing my husband and my children, before I finally let go and gave it over to the only One who can give me true peace. I completely agree with you that the diet and the exercise are just the tip of the iceburg--I've got that part down. I needed to learn, though, that my peace comes from my faith, and my burning desire to make a difference in other people's lives needs to come as a natural extension of the unconditional love that has been given to me--not because I need others' approval. Oh, and also, everything that Mike Harris said! He is one of the best examples of transformation I've ever had the pleasure to meet! Thanks so much for taking this light years past merely the physical appearance...let's work on the heart, soul and spirit!
I want to exude joy and peace to those around me. I realize that in order to do that I have to give up STRIVING. I really PUSH myself in every area of my life, and then I'm HARD on myself if I don't acheive the results that I'm striving for. I need to let go of CONTROL issues. I cannot control the outcomes I can only control my INPUT! I must learn to stop STRIVING and FIGHTING for what I THINK I NEED TO ACHIEVE...and realize that the outcome is up to God. When I stop WORRYING about if I get an A in a class, how much the scale is moving, or if someone likes me or not, then I free myself and others to enjoy life. You know...the thought of just doing my best..and letting it all go in trust that all will work out how its suposed to...is very FREEING! I realize that subconciously in all my interactions, there has still been a selfish element "I want to be liked, I want to be successful." I will be conscious that my interaction with others should be more about their needs without the selfish expectation of them meeting mine in any way. If I remember that the LORD is my completion and truly the only way I can be fulfilled, then I will not look to others to make me happy. In all my endeavors I will remember: "MAN MAKES HIS PLANS BUT THE OUTCOME IS THE LORD'S" -Proverbs
Bill it seems that you and Stoney are inside my head sometimes (good thing there is a lot of extra room in there) ....As I read through the assignment I had a lot of "Old Dave" answers pop into my head and my fingers just would not type them because when I went to form the sentences I talked myself right out of the answer because it was not the one I felt inside.....The TRUE to MYSELF answer is easy. I "Have" to be willing to give up everything I cannot take with me.When we all finally leave this body what will we have? What can we take with us? I can't take the job pffft! I can't take the car pfffft!we all know we can't take the money pfft! But what I think I can take is the feeling I had when I saw my kids "get it" you know the look when they finally figure out a problem or how something works? I get to keep that. Maybe the feeling I get when I am all alone on a rdige top in the mountains and see a little patch of columbine blooming and the will surely be gone soon and I know God put that beauty there that day at that moment just for me. .....I can take that with me. I want to help people, I need to help myself first but you ask what I am willing to give up? Right now I am willing to give it ALL up to make it better.Thanks for the soul work when I needed it Bill. Peace
I am not going to give you what I feel but what I am learning to be the truth. I have started on this tranformation back in April after a spiritual weekend and then your challenge just fell in place. I started seeing a spiritual councelor to help me on this journey and I have since had people tell me they can see that I am being very honest with who I have been, who I am being and where I am wanting to go. So I know I am working but have learned a lot of truth. I try to control beyond myself to prevent myself from being vunerable. I am too nice so people will like me and in this (especially this week) I have learned I am not being honest. Honesty is very important to me and when that came out this week it was hard to learn but uplifting also. I talk about being loving, compassionate, giving and sacraficing but it is just setting myself up as a martar. There was no truth behind any of it because deep down I did it for all the wrong reasons. It took the focus off of me. Even though that was not my intention it was destroying my every being. Love is honesty. I have learned to distinquish when I am doing something nice why am I doing it and what truth is there. It has allowed a load of freedom and true love to reveal itself.
Interesting timing. Just yesterday I held a retreat for my staff and we did some goal setting for ourselves. I am a notorious goal setter and my goal, that I hadn't written down, set, etc. previously was to do just this, to for once just be open to the mystery, to the great things that life has in store for me, without having a specific outcome. My goal was to just be, just allow. Liz
A comment on my blog pointed out the fact that my words here have come across wrong and I would like the opportunity to edit my response below so that everyone doesn't mis-interpret me....... What am I willing to give up to get the joy of pure motives? 1. I’m willing to develop a low opinion of myself by seeing myself as God sees me and looking to Him for cleansing. WHEN I SAID "LOW OPINION" I MEANT "LOWER OPINION" - AMAZING HOW EVEN JUST TWO LETTERS CAN CHANGE THE CONTEXT. EDITING THIS BECAUSE THIS ORIGINAL WORDING CAME ACROSS WRONG........... 1. I'm willing to set aside my pride and see myself in a new light, as God sees me and look to Him for cleansing.
I am willing to give up and shed my outer self and let the inner depths of my soul shine brightly like a beacon of hope. I believe that faith without works is dead therefore I will put forth the effort and the work and I will have faith in God that he will meet me half way and help me be my true self, one stripped of pride, of ego, of gile and one filled with love and compassion for others. What do I want you ask? Very simple when I boil it down. I want to live up to the potential that I know is inside. I want to be the person that the still small voice tells me I am. I want to have an effect on people, I want to "be the change" I understand there are only certain things in this life that I can control and I will stay focused on those things and feel empowered in doing so, while at the same time I will let go of the things that I cannot control and my burdens will be made light. I began in boldness and I will let Providence move too!..........................Thank you for a beautiful post...........DUDE
Only a few hours before this was posted I wrote a blog on being authentic - strange how the timings for these assignments seems to just slip into place. I am going to need some time to put together all of the thoughts that went through my head when reading these words - but one of the things I definately need to let go of is fear - fear of not being good enough, fear of not saying or doing the right thing, fear of today, tomorrow and fear that the past has set the path for my future. Yes I need to let go of the fight and trust - in reality the only fight I had was with myself and my own thoughts and beliefs and I am the author of those - so time to let go even more - Love - Light and Gratitude - Jaki :)
This is tough.. and yet easy. I have much to surrender: The need to be at the "head of the class" in everything I do; the need to be the best mom, worker, teacher, wife, and even, transformer. I've been working my butt off with this - physically and mentally and recently I realized that much of my motivation to win this competition was TO WIN. Not entirely for all the right reasons. In the last few weeks, the need for the accolades is less - giving up the recognition - and being my own cheerleader, while having faith that things unfold as they should - as long as I am being the best me I can be - not the best me I think I should be. Not the best others tell me to be, but the best, most authentic me. For me, "let it be" is very similar to "have faith." It will all come... :)
Great Assignment, Bill. How appropriate to have the Beatles song, "Let it Be" playing in the background while reading this Assignment & sharing my thoughts/feelings about it! This Assignment "Really Hit Home" and I literally got up and did some other things around my place for quite a while, while listening to this song playing in the background, before I could sit down & type this. One of the most Challenging things for me is to be able to "Surrender" to things in my life. I guess subconsciously it comes from thinking that I should have fought a lot harder for myself at a given point in my life and I've come to realize that's probably why I feel like I have to fight so hard for myself now. Friends have told me "You try to force things" & "You've said you're not going to be a certain way and you're still that way, etc." So the bottom line is: Yes, I do want to "Surrender" to IT ALL...Give it over to God, Be at PEACE, Be HAPPY & Be INSPIRING & Feel like the FIRE is Burning Within because I haven't felt that way for quite sometime now -- I really want that "Light to Shine Within & to also be able to Radiate it Outward & Project that onto Other People." I also want to be able to REINVENT myself in a Very Positive Way Each & Every Day. And throughout this Transformation Challenge...I'm hoping "There wil be that Answer.....so "I'll Trust & Let It Be" and see where Live leads me!! Thank YOU! : ) Cindy
Whew...very powerful for the 11th lesson! I Love it! I am constantly telling myself to just "be" Heidi...just "be" Be in the moment...be here...be here right now...and feel, smell, see, breathe, experience LIFE- In the moment...in the now! This is huge for me since I love to have my next "thing" already ready! So thank you for an amazing lesson in life! I am learning to stop planning...God is offering me a thrilling life...I just need to let go and let God carve my pathway for "me"...this I know...so thank you Bill...You are truly the best!
Of all the assignments this one really hits home with me. I know now that there are people all over this world who are in dire need to surrender. You don't have to go far outside of your door though to find that person who may need a helping hand. For example today on my bike ride, I just happened to ride through the parking lot of a grocery stor and at first just passed by then something told me to assist an elderly couple with their purchase and the so greatly thanked me for the help and just the thank you I got was more than enough. Made the ride home even better with that on my mind. The word tells me to take care of the elderly and I will be blessed. One day (now that I'm on the right tract with my health) I will be one of the elderly. Thank you to my God and thanks to you also Bill.
What do I really want with this transformation? I WANT THE JOY OF PURE MOTIVES When I started my Transformation I did not have a relationship with God. My motives for doing the "BE THE CHANGE" challenge were for the most part, self-seeking. I was doing the Transformation Challenge for my health and because I wanted a great body, to win the money, win the trip to Hawaii and get recognition. The overachiever that I am, all of my life I had formed this vision that my self-worth was based on what I do better than others and winning this challenge and life’s competitions. With this perverse thinking, in the end there can only be one “best”. My life had become distorted by single minded attempts to outperform everyone else. It was causing me to be depressed. I was giving up my pursuits and a normal life. I think without exception, a life lived for perfection is a life destined for disappointment. I was headed down that path to destruction. Today my motives have changed. I have found God again and he blesses me more and more everyday. I want to share his love with others and let them be blessed the way I have been blessed. I want to live for God’s glory. I want everything I do to be done out of love rather than for reasons that are self-seeking. I yearn for joy that comes from having the proper motive. I live to help everyone else. This is what it means to develop motives that are pure. This is where true love and service lead. Everyone lives to help everyone else. Jealousies are extinguished and Love reigns. Matthew 5:16 (NKJV) "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. I want to do good deeds so people will look at my life and Glorify God. Matthew 6:1 (NKJV) "Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. I DO NOT want to do good deeds so men will see my good works and praise me. Some people witness for the praise of men and to want others to think they’re spiritual. Some people study God’s word to impress others with their knowledge. Some people pray to be seen by men so that they look spiritual. I want to do what I do out of my love for GOD and NOT the desire to be praised by men. What am I willing to give up to get the joy of pure motives? 1. I’m willing to develop a low opinion of myself by seeing myself as God sees me and looking to Him for cleansing. 2. I’m willing to be humble and have a servitude attitude 2. I’m willing to ask Bill to donate 20,000.00+ anonymously to a charity of his choosing and forego the cash prize and trip if I were chosen Champion
Please forgive the lack of sentence structure this forum provides...It seems like all of my adult life I have been in charge. At 19, and in the Air Force, I was promoted to Sergeant and led men into danger. For 36 years I was a law enforcement officer and was responsible for the well being of the men and women that I came in contact with while on duty. I was a lieutenant for over 20 years and a leader of 7 different squads of officers. Working in special operations we weren’t allowed to identify ourselves or speak of our work for security reasons. Later in my law enforcement career I worked undercover for 4 years. This didn’t allow for a true identity either. I tell you this so you can understand the experiences that brought me to where I am today. In law enforcement jargon they call it Command Presence. Without saying a word or taking an action you must be able to command respect from those persons you are confronting simply by how you present yourself. Anywhere else it’s probably considered putting up walls or wearing a mask. My entire history has been spent hiding behind a shield for one good reason or another. What do I want? I want to be me! I’m retired now; no need to hide behind those protective walls or wear that mask of unquestionable authority; no need to be right or do the correct thing; no requirement to be a cut above; no need to smile for the omnipresent camera or microphone of the damn insidious news reporter. There is no longer a need; but after all this time can I separate the then from the now? What am I wiling to give up? How about if I give up the walls, the mask, and the burden of being the responsible one? The unrealistic beliefs that I am the only one that can make “It” happen.
Your timing is incredible. I was just reading a book that was about the very things you mentioned in your blog. What I am willing to give up is control....finally! For most of my life I have been struggling with who is in control of my life. When I am the one controlling things, it never really works out. You would think that by the age of 51 that I would know this by now. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I have been struggling to find my purpose and that may very well be why I have struggled...because I was pushing too hard and the one that was controlling things. I need to "let go and let God." In order to truly transform I need to let God be the one in control. I know this is one lesson that I need to learn as lately every book that I pick up lhas to do with overcoming the egoic nature. It is really amazing how the lessons we need to learn are brought into our lives and consciousness. Thank you for these exercises. It has really made me think and put things into perspective.
Bill, thank you for your inspiring words. I have been reading the blog entries/assignments and the posts here for a month or so. I read BFL like 10 yrs ago and it has resonated with me since. I have never posted until now. But I can honestly say that when I first started reading what people were saying here I thought "why are these people so spiritual about all this?". Now after working out regularly for the past 4 weeks, I see what its all about. There is a sort of soul-surfacing that transforms when you begin to take your health seriously. I feel so much more in touch with my physical body as well as my spiritual self. It's amazing how exchanging bad habits with healthier ones can transform your entire outlook on life! Im so excited to get up in the morning now. I used to look at my mornings with dread and had a hard time getting going in the early hours. Now, I can't wait to get up and begin another day of healthy habits. I have some really bad habits that I need to give up but I am moving in the right direction and this community is continuously inspiring me to do what I need to do. I want to thank everyone for their posts.....inspiring contributions to Bill's blog entries. I am now a true believer. It's like a total spiritual awakening. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel....when before I was walking in the dark.
Well, the more we stay focused on the negative, the more we head in that attached direction; so, I have had to reprogram my thinking and acting patterns to match the successful self I know I am. I was a stress eater. I recently caught myself walking into the kitchen, not even hungry, and realized I need to create a new "stress spot" that is not the kitchen. I even laughed about it finally, and gratefully; I feel ready to let go of that negative habit. Transformation to me spiritually means freedom from old behaviors, habits and reactions just because they were, and instead, refocusing, and intentionally steering the whole self in the direction of my goals. It means that I am mindful, prayerful, and immediately involved in every decision regarding my food and exercise choices and I am no longer on "auto pilot" from my sedintary car driving, American lifestyle and old, fast food and candy bad eating habits. I actually stop and think about what is really best for my body (my temple) before I eat it. I actually think about how even when I feel tired, the exercise is what will really recharge me instead of just sitting on the couch eating cookies and falling asleep. I am no longer fighting that negative tide. I am flowing with the strength of the Lord and the beautiful abundance that has been provided to me, and I am acting grateful and owning up to the fact that I was previously ignoring all of these blessings. I have begun to realize I need to ask forgiveness for this past negligence (controlled and uncontrolled), forgive myself-surrending- and feel blessed to move away from it having learned so much. I still have 6 weeks to go, but 11 weeks in now, and I am definitely a better person for having gone this far... so I am keeping at it ;-)
It seems amazing to me that you always know just what to say at just the right times. I have struggled with this transformation since the beginning. It always seems like "life" throws a curve ball every time I think I'm going to get it right. Sick pets, sick parents, changes at work, etc etc etc. I keep picturing Jonnae's mom working out in the hospital and thinking "Seriously, you think it's tought for YOU to work out?" Yogajen, you're words are right on, for me, too. I know somewhere deep down that all these are still just excuses, that all the things that go on in my life will keep going on whether I'm healthy or unhealthy. That if I can't fit in 45 minutes of exercise in a day, or time to make a few healthy meals, then something's gotta give. I know I don't post a lot on the blogs, but I do read all the other posts and they are helping me see that I'm not alone and we all struggle. Today I printed out all the lessons and put them in my notebook with my pictures. I have 3 days to myself to reflect on all of this and figure out what's gonna give for me to be healthy again. thanks to all of you, especially Bill for your selfless determination and guidance.
Gosh, I just had the strangest experience, The Beatles kept singing Let It Be in my head as I was reading this assignment. This will take some time for me to digest. -Art
"Me" is transforming into the new Penny :). I have been experiencing what you describe, slowly in the past week or so. I didn't realize it - but after reading this I think the process of forgiving myself has either taken place or started. I have given up guilt, self doubt and all that I held with me for so many years resulting in a person that I now realize did not like herself. I let go of old patterns, mentally and physically. I let go of the way I used to think and the things I used to do in response to things that I perceived were happening to me. You made some comparisons above - BFL and Trasformation. As I have described in some posts---this transformation experience has been amazing and real all because of the INSIDE work. This was the missing piece to my puzzle and as you said, the most difficult. I am pleasantly surprised to see that my body has changed and continues to change in a positive way. I am thrilled with the results, but not driven by the way my body looks or what the scale says. Just checking in every once in a while to make sure the progress is moving forward. For the first time in my life, I have taken a different approach to getting fit. This is not about "I need to lose weight---I am getting fat---I look disgusting---my clothes don't fit---it's about learning WHY I have had so many failed attempts in the past---learning WHAT has been holding me back---so far, I have become aware of the reasons why, have acknowledged them (not without some major mental battles) and have taken ownership and forgiven myself for giving up on "Me". Fogiven myself for not having confidence in "Me" just because I percieved that others in my life did not. Ok, this is getting tool long...I feel I have learned so much and yet am still like a sponge ready fot more. I never recognized how out of touch I was with my inner self and how little I liked myself. It's really cool getting to know who I am and connecting with my innerself - I feel confident, light, free, daring, excited, happy (not what I used to think was happy - but a different kind of happy when you like yourself) - I feel proud of my accomplishmets so far and thirsty to learn more. Ok, I'll stop now :) Thank you for all I just mentioned above.
Coach you are so right! Why do we do that? We give it away and then we run right back over and take it back. If we keep getting bit by the snake, why do we keep picking the darn thing up? I "somewhat" gave things away a year ago because my mind was preoccupied elsewhere. I think because those were my "real" issues, it allowed me to deal with the temporary ones and start on this journey. When the temporary ones were over, why did I walk over and take back the "real" ones. I do believe I'm transforming, because this time, I realized what "I" was doing. That "I" needed to let that go, give it away and never, ever look back. Hmmm.....I guess there really is something to this whole Transformation thing!
I love the added music, how cool is that! When I surrendered and allowed God to be my new Director-Dad-Boss I had feelings the first few months of what would it be like not to have to fight, to run, to isolate, to rationalize, since that was my idenity for many years. But as Bill has been sharing, Spiritual power is so much more than physical power. I can't explain it very well, but when you give up the fight and stop doing it the EGO's way (your way) you actaully have a new spiritual self confidence and poise that calms and quiets the ego and allows you to be present and give up wanting to be right and fight. When I visit and work with Bill we always just laugh out loud about how cool the spiritual life is and how darn happy we are. Not happiness from having things but inner happiness from guiding and learning from all of you. We learn as we go and I learn double coz I learn from Bill and as we go along. LOL You know I truly believe God is the master of a good sense of humor, because I lived life backwards for 42 years, and I know he just laughs at us as we keep giving up the fight and then taking it back, giving Him our problems and then taking them back. It's probably like Heaven ping-pong with us and the elect Angels and God watching us play human ping-pong with our giving it and taking it back. So when Bill shares about being more real and authentic I would take that as if you say your giving it up and are going to let it be, then I hope you take the action to do so and not let it be just talk. Love you guys and thanks Captain Bill for your true passion and your heart of gold, you have really transformed and are a genuine God directed leader.Love you~ Coach
Dear Bill, I posted an entire blog on the meaning of the word surrender. To give up and upwards, as opposed to giving in and quitting. I have to tell you, right now I am facing some pretty scary health challenges that have absolutely nothing to do with this transformation. Or do they? Hmmmm???? These are the kind where you realize the results are not in our hands, only the effort is. What am I willing to give up in order to get what I really want out of this transformation experience? I am willing to give up my lower self desires, the ones that have led me to where I am today. I am willing to reach for the desires of my higher self, the ones that will take me where I want to live. I am willing to give up all my past poor choices, and start again, free of the need to control results. I am willing to give up and surrender my past failures, reaching for the best self that is waiting for me on the other side of this transformation. I'm willing to move forward, without looking back. I am willing to put forth the effort required, leaving the results in the hands of my creator. I am finally willing to surrender, and all that this truly implies. Sending goodness, laughter and light to each of you sharing this transformational journey, Debby
Today I give up the anger and hate I feel toward myself the excuses of if only everyone acted how I wanted them to I would be happy I give up finding everything wrong with others I like the fact that I can let the thoughts go I let go of the resentments towards others I let go of the tears that I always thought made me weak I let go of always wanting to be right I give up trying to be better than others and give them a hand and encouragement I give up overcomplicating things and keeping it simple I give it to God another great assignment Bill Thanks
Hi Bill and thank you for this Assignment. My answer will take up much more space as this one will go VERY deep for me. I feel this one all the way down to my toes. I am going to give up the fight to be loved. That may sound strange, but it is something that takes a hold of me and tortures me. From a child, I was ALWAYS seeking approval. Physical, Mental & Verbal abuse made me feel very unloved and wanting only that, to be loved and accepted. I have people in my life who I craved to have true, loving relationships with. I wanted to be able to trust them and them trust me. Every time I took my wall down and opened myself up, the hit would come. I deep painful slice to my heart & soul. For years, I would put it behind me, thought I would heal and try again, again, another cut, each one feeling deeper then the one prior. With this constant pattern of action, I resorted back to my feelings of inadequecy, unworthiness and consumed with hurt & anger. Depression would skyrocket. With stress and adversity over the last year piled on top of it, I kind of forgot about it, put it away for awhile, my "fight" took over. Now that, that adversity is in the past, the other issue's have begun to resurface. All I know, is how I have felt over the last 8 weeks, is how I want to continue to feel. If I can love myself and concentrate on being the best I can be, it doesn't matter about the others. I can't force unloving people to love me. It is their issue. It is their "lacking quality", not mine. I also have to believe, it is their loss, not mine. I have ALOT to offer and I have unconditonal love to give, it is their choice whether to accept it or not. I can't say their intentional hurtful actions don't still effect me in some ways, but I am still a "transformation in progress". I am however, giving up the fight to "make them" love me. It will never happen that way. I have decided to "Let it Be" and give it to God. He is with me and he will guide me to the place I need to go. I am going to focus on those that do love me and be a better role model for them. Thanks again Bill. My actual assignment I turn in will be more indepth. Deepest Gratitude! Carolynn
Hey Bill I have given up having to be so darn perfect in every work out and every bite of food thinking if I do it wrong I will go back to the old ways. That was fear based I am learning that I have control of that and make choices all the time and not being perfect will not bring me back to where I was. Marty
I agree with Humdinger. That sentence resonates because I suspect I may be my own worst enemy in getting to transformation.
I have given up fear, I had feared that I will always have a broken body, a fear that I will always be labeled as a convict, an exgangbanger, but now because of who I am in the Lord. Fear has no place here in my life. Day by day I am a walking, talking miracle and I am thankful for what has come from this transformation. I have truly surrendered my life........... God bless~~ Jerome
What I really wanted in the beginning was to shape my body like it was before I put on weight. Even though that is starting to happen and I am very happy with the results, I have gained way more through this transformation then I ever imagined or expected. The encouragement, the inspiration, the love of others has really inspired me to give up resentment, anger, jealousy to stop hanging on to past mistakes and to look forward to today and the rest of my life. This transformation has given me the courage to be me and not to try to be what others want me to be. I love the people here who have held out there hand to help me and others and I hope to be the same for them.
A very long time ago I gave up trying to please people. Then i fell into the trap of wondering what people though of me, so I had to give that up too. Now i just want to give up any selfishness that would stop me from helping anyone to go from fat to healthy. I dont want to hide myself behind a fake happy face the times i am not. I want to show a real life, expose my real struggles and inspire others to get inside of themselves and peel off the junk. I will say this until the day I die...BFL is a great program that I would have failed bexcause the inner work was not a part of the program. Transformation works because of assignments just like this!
It's time to make sure I have given up the victim's mentality that I created to protect myself. It's time to give up the voice that tells me I can't do this because of other people, or my situation, or my schedule or any number of things that come up. It's time to make sure I have silenced that voice that lies to me and tells me that I failed at something because of things out of my control. It's time to make sure I give up that feeling of complacency that my own shortcomings are due to some one or something else. With those things gone, I can live freely, take charge of my life and take ownership of my mistakes and shortcomings and use them as lessons, as fuel for my transformation.
Wow...this lesson could not have come at a better time...I started at the end of July then went on a trip and fell off for quite some time...I have been back for almost 2 weeks now and I am doing awesome...but tonight right before I read this...I was considering a back slide....I kept trying to fight my thoughts and after reading this...I realize that I just need to think them and let them go...I GIVE UP TRYING TO FIGHT WITH MY THOUGHTS...I don't have to give into them...I just have to think them and then...."Let them be."
Winning this contest would be my first thought. I am not here for money or a trip to hawaii. Giving up alcohol, coffee, carbonated drinks and colored water is happening but most of all, what I think about all the time is growing in a diferent direction. I ask my self "why" everyday. At first is was to gain back control of my life and introduce to my kids what can happen if you think, plan, focus and execute. But somehow I get a felling something else is out there that I am missing and don't understand yet. I have never done anything like this before and can't believe I am opening up my heart and thoughts over the internet. But that is something else I have given up here. I've dropped my guard an am learning a lot. My purpose is much stronger now and the "deadline" is almost not important anymore. Again, I never write like this so openly. but somehow it feels good. Hey, is there anything I can do for you Bill? I hope I can give you a gift someday. Regards, Mark
Bill, The first ideas that come to mind are: Your experiences must tell you when to post each individual assignment because you are always on target, I was driving home this afternoon and thought to my self- I have been struggling for 20 years- oh my gosh! 20 years? I had decided to give up the fight- not of eating healthy or exercising but of the guilt of sabbotaging my efforts. Years ago I gave up smoking, thinking I am not letting a little cancer stick rule my life. Food took its place and I am done fighting and wiling to surrender my All to God and hand it ALL over to him. Letting go is freedom and I am FREE..
I was planning on kicking my workouts up a notch, but I see the need to do the same on the spiritual side, too. I can certainly relate to "letting things be" and only controling things that I am responsible for. A lot of fretting and what you referred to as 'self-sabotage' was a major factor in the problem I was having with procrastination. Letting go and keeping the 'Main Thing', the main thing was a big step in my transformation. Another timely assignment. Need I say, "Well done" Thanks, Bill. I will give this some deeper thought on a blog.
In order to get what I want out of this transformation, I really need to give up completely the life I lead before. Hard on myself, lazy, depressed and full of doubt. That life has been slowly going away with the past couple of months of weight training and transformation. I wish I could give up diabetes, but what I can do is give up the lie that life will be hard with it, and I can live a happy, fulfilling and enjoyable life full of joy and peace.
Fear. My life has been ruled by it, I have been controlled by it, I then try to control everything so that I might try to control it. It is a never ending circle and a fight that can not be won. So, I am going to give up the fear, fear that I will be alone, fear that I will be homeless, again. Fear that I will die by myself, I FIGHT these fears every day. I am tired. What a stronger person I might be, and what a better example I might portray if I can simply recover all of that wasted energy. It feels as though I have won something already. Thank you Bill. You could have emailed this to me...oh...30 years ago?