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Transformation Assignment #11
Giving Up the FightHey guys, and gals, can we talk?
You know, I appreciate and respect the interest you have in transformation. Of course, you wouldn’t be here, reading these words right now, if you weren’t at least somewhat interested in transforming your physical health and spiritual well-being. You should feel really good about the fact that you’re even taking an interest in this; the vast majority of people on the planet today have not made it as far along in the process as you already have.
Because I know you’re interested in transformation and many of you have put in a considerable amount of work so far, and are actually seeing and feeling some nice results, I feel like it’s a good time to take it up a notch. And so I’m going to talk to you today about one of the most important aspects of truly transforming, and that is... giving up the fight.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.”
I first shared that insight in the documentary film, Body of Work, which we made in 1997-98. And I want to revisit that concept here… and look at the higher meaning of it. Let’s start with the first part, “Half of getting what you want.” What does that mean to you? What do you want out of this transformation experience? Back in the Body-for-LIFE days, that question was pretty easy to answer – the vast majority of people I had the opportunity to guide through that program wanted to look better, to get rid of bodyfat, to gain muscle, and have a body that impressed other people.
But now, in this “transformation age” which we’re going through, that question is not so easy to answer. At least it’s not until you go deeper, and connect with the true consciousness of your heart and soul. At that level, you may very well discover that what you “want” is to truly feel alive, healthy, happy, and inspired. You may want to make the change from an ordinary existence to living a spiritual life. You may want to be liberated from fear, worry, guilt, and selfishness. And, in addition to that, you may very well want to have a healthy body to get you through the journey.
What do you really want?
It’s a good question to contemplate throughout this process of transformation that you’ve begun. The more heartfelt, the more authentic and real your answer is, the more it will help you gain a higher and higher level of awareness about what’s important in your life.
Now once you gain some insight on what you really want from this transformation, the next thing we need to do is take a look at, “what you have to give up to get it.” Now, of course, back in the BFL days that could be as simple as giving up pizza and ice cream and exchanging four hours a week of leisure time for intense workouts.
But with transformation, certainly what we are looking for is something richer, more rewarding, more meaningful. The body change will be there, if we simply hold the intention and make exercising and eating healthy part of our new way of life. As I’ve said before, that’s the easiest part of the transformation.
But if we seek spiritual transformation, we have to be willing to give up a bit more to gain the rewards.
What are you willing to give up to get it?
Again, the more authentic, the more honest, the more real your answer, the better.
As I see it, the most important thing to give up at this point is, “the fight.” And by that I mean the stubborn resistance of the egoic nature. When we decide to let that go, and we state that intention in writing, and we do our best to surrender, each and every day, we have truly done at least half of the work we need to do in order to successfully transform.
Now, when many people hear the word "surrender," they misperceive the true meaning of the word. Surrender simply means to give up the fight. To release the struggle. Let go of the attachment to outcomes, expectations, demands.
Your first thought might be, "How in the world will it happen if I don’t make it happen?" That’s not an entirely incorrect way of thinking. However, it’s incomplete in that it makes the assumption that everything that is, is a result of your own doing. And of course, even an ardent mechanistic reductionist can’t convince himself of the logic in that. The world works in mysterious ways, but the world works. With or without us. And that means that we don’t have to do it all ourselves. What a relief, huh?!
The key is to recognize that our primary responsibility in the process of transfor- mation is to identify, to specifically decide, what it is that we want. And we can be assured that if what we wish for serves, first and foremost, the greater good, and second, ourselves, then it has the potential to happen. Next, we simply need to do what we need to do, to make the changes that we’re responsible for making in our thoughts, intentions, and actions. And once we’ve done that, we can let it be. In fact, to try to control things beyond that point is self-sabotage. Something much greater than you and I controls the outcome at that point; no matter what your faith, that much is true.
Again, giving up the fight means letting go of expectations, dropping the pretense, the ego, the act, the disingenuous postures, all the inauthentic stuff.
And it means that the battle is over. You don’t have to fight with yourself to make transformation happen. This is not a battle. It’s not a war. There’s nothing to push against. For we know that truly, what we resist persists. Because we want to improve the condition of our lives, it might be a real good idea to move above and beyond our old way of doing things. We don't have to fight our old way. We just need to let it go.
Now, as we begin take it up a notch and experience this transformation more deeply, I want to encourage you to begin to share more of your truth. I'm more interested in your insight and feelings than what you "think." Because at the beginning, middle and end of the day, the transformation I’m talking about is the transformation of YOU. And your success with this is important to me. I know how much potential you have to transform, and to do it truly from the inside out. And for that to happen, we need to utilize every opportunity to expand our self-awareness. And each of these 11 lessons so far will help you do just that, if you’re willing to do the inner work.
So now, please consider... What are you willing to give up in order to get what you really want out of this transformation experience? Please share your insight, answers and revelations in the comments section below.
Until next time...
Bill
Actually to be honest the spirtual side of my life is has a lot of confusion... In BFL re: the training side i feel good about my 2 a day training...however one thing i want to give up for the great good of the gyms i go to is be right there with people who are really struggling.... and reach out to them... My after photo will be good for a 53 year old.. however i am not 23 any more... I have learned from a lot of the fitness icons re: the physical side...but i have not really been open to some belief systems that have concepts i don't understand...however i do see them working with a lot of people here... I do feel a lot of love and caring on this site and i do try to reach out with that... I do have a hang up about getting bottom line results in training however...i see that is the BFL goal and i need to give up some of that focus for being open for the spirtual ones... I do pray but i put a lot more emphasis on action and i need to give up the beliefs i have regarding thinking i know the answers for others.. One thing i do know is i don't have the peace of mind most folks here have and i have to give up the idea i am on the right path... Well, yes this assignment is one i need to really work on.. Thanks, Tom
I would call this process getting out of my own way! I look at my life and when I am present and in the moment, fear, worry and doubt disappears. I have been a control freak in my life...I passed the CPA exam, I had my own business, I pretty much tried to control everything and, as I reflect, so much of my accomplishments did not flow. Throught my transformation I achieved a sense of inner peace as I observed how powerful things can happen without having to force everything. This is a very powerful lesson!
Wow, this assignment is deep. I have noticed something strange while going through this transformation. Whenever I try to force my new lifestyle and control everything I feel like I am going against what I want to be. When I just live my new lifestyle I feel in sync. When I try to control everything that affects the new lifestyle I am living my fear of falling back to my old lifestyle increases. I noticed this on my trip to Dallas, TX to attend a concert. I had everything planned out, but once there things did not go as planned. Once one thing did not go as planned I panicked and tried to force my plan for my new lifestyle to work as I had scheduled. It just made things worst. It led to me to drinking and eating too much. It stressed me out and I looked for comfort in the drinks and food. What am I willing to give up in order to get what I want out of this transformation experience? This is a great question!! I am going to give up the fight and control. I am going to give up fighting not to fall into my old lifestyle. I am also going to give up trying to control everything to live my new lifestyle. I am going to take “let it be” to heart. Bill thank you so much for this assignment!! This song really fits this assignment. When I hear it, it will be a lasting reminder of this assignment.
alrighty...i have given up the control...someone here recently had a quote that i liked. "I can't control what i can't control"...as i have swallowed and digested that it has brought a super abundance of peace. I am not responsible for anyone else's decision to do something or not do something. i can point them in the right direction but ultimately that is between them and God. I cant drag 'em. this is important because it caused years of anxiety and panic and fear of "what if". i have realized internally for probably the first time that i really dont have control. I have me and my decisions and life. if others want to join me...great. if they dont...i will still be here. i gave up fear, anxiety and control. what i get is peace and confidence and self worth. when the old cloud of anxiety tries to settle in...i say..."I cannot control what i cannot control...this one is on YOU Dad." its working.
this was the one assignment that made me "block" and "freeze" i hid from it. "give up the fight" didnt understand what that meant.... i will write more from my journal as i can...have run out of online time (my time management deal i have...need to go spend time in 3D) thanks for this assignment...made me really dig deep
These lessons, assignments, exercises take you deep within your being and make you come to some self realizations that define who and what each of us are, our role as a spouse, friend, parent, sibling, brother or sister. I am sure there has been many changes we have all made over the last several months, if not longer. But the one central idea I have to let go of is that I am someone who is 52. I am not 40 or 30 anymore and I can't look like I am that age. I must come to the realization that I am 52 and a healthy 52, and be someone who will soon be 53 then 54 then as time goes on 60. One that is strong, vibrant, still learning and caring. That doesn't mean that I am withering away, but I have to learn to workout within my parameters. In the past I would get a kick out of outlifting the young guns at work or at the gym. I would go up to the framers and have curling contests with a 5 gallon bucket of 12 penny nails. This only served my ego and nothing else. Who was I competing with anyway? Why is a 52 year old man trying to show up someone half his age. When my son would come home from college, after the hugs and smiles it would be let's get down on the floor and arm wrestle. WHY? Self gratification. This is silly and serves no purpose. It embarasses the other person and makes me feel like what? ---a king or jerk? I need to get real- I'm 52 but a 52 year old person who is in great shape who cares about others and cares about their feeling and self worth. I need to learn how to pick up people who are down for one reason or another. It has been said- What is the toughest exercise one can do? Pick someone else up who is down. For the most part my life has been pretty good, not too many tragedies. Yes a stumbling block here and there but LIFE IS GOOD. So my goal is to be an encourager, motivator, a helper, friend, listener, and sometimes this means doing different things to different people. Some people want advice- I must learn to give it only when asked. Some people just want someone to listen to their stories or issues with no advice or answers and I have learned to just listen, giving no advice. So what must I give up? Being someone that I am not and give into what I really am or really should be. And not be self centered but a sharing compasionate person.
I need to give up on caring what others think. They are not living my life and I should focus on my happiness. I know when I am happy I can do wonders for others.
First of all BIll. I have to say that when you write out these assignments and I read them, it feels like you are talking to me and me alone. I think you have a great gift in that you can make people feel like you are speaking just to them and that you care about them and them alone. Onto the assignment. As I thought about this, I automatically thought of a blog entry I made a couple of months ago. So, I'll post that entry here. So, I signed up and started my Transformation journey. I completed my first assignment and I'm ready to start working on my second assignment. I was watching a video about Transformation and I sat and wondered WHY am I doing this? Is it just so I can have a cute, fit, tone, athletic body? No, it's not. That is only one piece to the puzzle. There must be other reasons why I am choosing to do this and I believe that it's no mistake that at this point in my life I found this. I am doing this because I'm not happy with the way my life is currently going. It's not a bad life by any means, but there is nothing about it that I am passionate about, that I really love and enjoy. I just feel like I'm existing and functioning with no real purpose and that's not who I want to be. I want to be a person who is involved in the community, happy with her life and the direction it's going and excited about things to come. I don't want to just exist and function. I want to be out there helping others in so many capacities, showing others how they too can be happy and most importantly showing my own family how all of this is possible. Do I know how I'm going to get there? Not yet, but this is what the journey is all about and I am more than ready to accept it, to learn and grow and become the person I know I can be. End of entry. As I re-read this entry and thought of this assignment I started to form an answer of how I am going to get there and what I need to give up in order to get there. I'm still not sure I have a complete answer, but I do have some thoughts. First of all, I thought of my spirituality. I am already a VERY spiritual person and have a really great relationship with my Heavenly Father. It could always be better, but I honestly feel good about that part of my life. What I do need to give up to get what I want is wasted time. I waste a lot of time surfing the net and watching tv. Time that could be better spent helping others, teaching others, and just being there for someone who needs me. As I'm typing this, I have a song playing in the background that keeps repeating the phrase " Never a better a hero, never a truer man, never a truer friend, never a greater compassion, Never a wasted day, not one regret, true to the end". It's a song about our Savior Jesus Christ and his life and example to us on how to live our own lives. I think important for us to remember those words and then actually APPLY them to our lives. I know that I have worth and that I CAN make a difference in other people's life and in my own and in the lives of my husband and children. So, what's holding me back and what do I need to do to make that difference? I need to give up wasting time and putting myself in their lives. Actually LOOK for opportunities where I can make a difference and help others in need. I also need to give up focusing on ME and dwelling on how fat I am or how out of shape I am and feeling like I can't contribute to society because I'm worred that they will judge me on my looks. I need to show my true courage and just get out there and put those thoughts behind me and realize that nobody cares what I look like as much as they care what I do. I don't know for sure if my ramblings really made sense of if this is quite what you were asking Bill, but this is all of what I thought about after reading the assignment. Amy
I need to give up the frustration I feel when others make unhealthy choices. This is becoming easier each and every day because I've realized that as long as I am part of the change and living the the change each day, it rubs off on others. Co-workers, friends, family - they do take notice. At first, they may question or ridicule my large lunch bag or the getting up before dawn every day to workout, but then they start seeing the changes in my physical appearance and they begin to take notice. Then they start asking more questions, but somewhere along the way, the questions change and they are more along the lines of "Why are you eating that?" "Is this considered a protein?" "If I wanted to start lifting weights, where do I start?" And so on... By living my transformation every day, I ultimately influence others - on their own timeline, not mine!! So, I surrender my frustration and by consistenlty being the change, I hope to influence others to choose a healthier way of life.
I wrestled with this assignment. I read the blogs. I asked my family and friends, "What do you really want?" I searched my soul, my mind and my heart. I prayed and asked God for guidance. I even asked my Mom...but there is not an easy answer. Life is full and what I really want encompasses all those areas. So, I hope there are no WRONG answers to these questions.... What Do I Really Want? I want to live in truth. I want to live in truth, in mind, in body and in spirit. Truth in my mind would be letting go of misconceptions, anger, fear, and doubt, accepting the peace and contentment I desire. Truth in my body would be taking the best care of this temple...this physical body, inside and outside. Truth in my spirit would be knowing, acknowledging and accepting who I am in God's eyes. *************************************************************************************************************************** - I really want to be able to look at myself and know that I am living my life to the fullest. - I really want to be whole. - I really want to be healed. - I really want to be able to function adequately in my daily life. - I really want to be confident. - I really want to be accepted. - I really want to be free of depression. - I really want to love myself. - I really want to let go of my anger. - I really want to enjoy peace of mind. - I really want to stop my obsessive thinking. - I really want to weigh 115 lbs, be toned, trim and strong. - I really want to feel sexy and attractive. - I really want to be physically healthy. - I really want to live in spiritual truth. - I really want to be an exceptionally, excellent mother. - I really want to be a great partner and friend to my husband. - I really want to improve my marital relationship. - I really want to simplify my life. - I really want to live in warm and inviting home. - I really want to be organized. - I really want to be a role model for my children and family. - I really want to openly express myself in my writing and art. - I really want to be debt-free. - I really want to have great credit. - I really want to feel worthy. - I really want to feel excellent. - I really want to be a more intuitive friend. - I really want to forgive my abusers. - I really want to be a more caring and loving daughter. - I really want to be a more awesome sister and friend to my siblings. - I really want to live by the water. - I really want to rise above my emotional pain. - I really want to help others like myself when I am ready and able. - I really want to be free of using pills to escape and numb myself. - I really want to be my own best friend. - I really want to be a better, more improved me. __________________________________________________________________________________ What Am I Willing To Give Up In Order To Get What I Really Want? I, Timberly M. Grant, am ready and willing to give up all the negative things I have acquired and have held close that have brought me to this unhealthy place in my life. *Insecurity *Depression *Anger *Fear *Self-Doubt *Self-Hatred *Blaming God *Lies *Family Baggage *Negative Things That Brought Comfort To Me (i.e. food, drinks, pills, oversleeping, etc.) *Misconceptions *My Need For Control *Caring What Others Think Of Me *Mistrust Of Myself and Others *Agoraphobia *Inhibitions *Perfectionism *An Abusive Past *Pills *Self-Injury *Procrastination *Laziness *Giving Up *Negative Thinking *Unrealistic Goals and Expectations *My Layer Of Protection Against Attention *125 lbs. *Inches *Bodyfat *The Invisible Mask I've Worn For 42 Years I am ready to "give up the fight!" til next time, love, tim
What I need to surrender and let go of is the tough hard guy attitude, it's just a cover up for the weakness or "the not good enough" feeling inside...it's just alot of mental baggage I don't need to carry around anymore...also I need to be more patient and understanding with people who are inexperience and younger than me...alot of time it's just not their fault...in time they will "get it, life will show them" it not always my job to make them understand, especially at my workplace. Also I just need to leave the negativity at the work place...if I'am going to Be the Change I need to be a positive caring person not one to always criticize...teach by a positive example.
hello all, I just realized many of my posts don't show up :( (maybe because I've being posting from work when I know I should post from home :O) hhhmmmm...honesty I "surrendered " years ago and my life has taken on a new meaning ever since. It is no longer about me (well, not all the time....progress-lol). I must be willing to give up my judgements because they show my "lower self'. I must be willing to give up the need for approval from outside sources because it allows me to devalue myself and puts the "power" outside instead of within. Love and light,
This assignment I have really pondered. When I read it at first I thought of all the things I have let go of to get to where I currently am. I let go of bad habits and I let go of the notion I didn't have time for myself. Those 2 things greatly got me to where I am today. I asked myself what is it that I can let go of now to get me to where I want to be...One would be my preconceived notions. I have discovered that things aren't always what they seem to be and that I should have an open mind and think outside of the box. Two is control. I have to let go of things I have no control over and just "let them be" what is meant to happen will happen.
This assignment really hit home with me. I've done many Body for Life Challenges over the years but never truly seen the transformation in my self that I knew I was capable of. During the last two weeks - I'm finally feeling what this transformation is all about. Its about MY transforamtion. Its not about adapting my workout routine to other people in the gym. Its not about trying the latest nutrition program that everyone else is trying. This transformation is about looking inside ME and doing what will work for ME !! For the first time in my life, I see that what works for everyone else - just might not work for me. And just because everyone else is trying the NO Carb High Fat High Protein diet - I don't have to follow suit. I know the BFL program works for me, I know how it makes me feel so why do I give into peer pressure and all those empty promises. To answer the question - what am I willing to give up ? I'm willing to give up my follower attitude and follow the plan I know works for me. That plan is the Body for Life Nutrition Plan! I dont' have to answer to anyone about what I'm doing - not anyone except me. Wow is this a great feeling !!! I hope everyone keeps reaching for their goals - Bill you have such a way of inspiring people - Please keep it up ! Have a fabulous day ! Keep Reaching ! Cat
Changing myself physically is very important to me. I want to be proud of what others see when they look at me. That is not all that I want though. I want to be inspiring to others as well as myself. I want to quit the fight and live peacefully. I must give up looking for faults in everything and look for the positive and live and be happy with the positive.
I am not looking for body perfection--just to be able to keep moving freely without pain for the rest of my life. Transformation has taken me to the gym and with regular exercise now in full swing i can acieve this physical goal. With regards to my inner self i am quite proud of that. I don't hold grudges, i allow and want all human beings to be free and happy. I accept everyone's point of view whether right or wrong--we are all entitled to our own opinions. my life is not perfect, maybe it could be better, i know it could be worse. I've been blessed with a lovely family and have met a few very good friends--for life.The one thing i need to give up is those wasted, negative thoughts that creep in to my head daily, you know the ones ' must do this, must do that, when will i get this done etc, etc' my son or Daughter are talking to me and i'm ignoring them because those thoughts are overspilling into my ear drum--can't hear anything else. I need to give them up and open my ears and head to what the most important people in my life are saying to me. Listen, and don't think so much!!!
I wasn't really sure how to answer this, What am I willing to give up? I want to give up all the bad habits that got me here in this shape that I'm in. But just as important to me is to begin to really live and enjoy my life. For that I have to give up the depression/pity parties and to become a happy person. To forgive myself and others. Be willing to do the work to achieve those results. . . It's begun to happen so I'm sure I'm on the right track. I'm utterly amazed at the results especially those for my inner self.
Of course I want the physical transformation but in order to look good outside you have to take care of your inside...I want to let go of the self-pity, self-destruction, selfishness and competitiveness behaviors and start living and enjoying MYSELF for who I am...I want to stop being my worst critic and instead be the best motivator for me and others...Thank you Bill for this assignment...it really made me look deeper inside myself...take care, Vicky
I am sorry it took me so long to answer this.I had to really think and search on this one.I was born with a very soft and loving heart but raised with a very strong worrier spirit.It took me a long time to let go all the rage,hate,hurt and anger,to forgive all that had harmed me and to forgive myself. The reason I started this journey was to learn and grow,to bring spirit,mind and body together,better,stronger and wiser on all levels and all ways.I did not enter to win this transformation,as I am not here to beat anyone else.I only compete against myself,so that I my grow and be more able to help others see in there self there own importance and that they matter.I am humble and thankful for your wisdom and I will keep learning as we go,every day is a new lesson. Always with positivity and forward motion.-T-dog-Scott
For 9 years, I've been a wife. For 7 years, I've been a mommy. Somewhere along the way, I've lost the one person I knew the most about....me. I can look in the mirror sometimes and don't even recognize myself anymore. Putting other peoples' needs before my own, I've forgotten what I want in life. Not now.....I want my life back. Don't get me wrong, I am SO blessed to have the husband and children I have. But I want to start getting me back and being happy with me. The only way I can do this is to surrender everything to God. My husband says I'm a control freak. Maybe I am. Maybe that's how I am able to handle a household and 4 children. But, now, I'm ready to surrender my life, my thoughts, my actions to God. I want to look in the mirror and see the beauty that God created. I don't want to walk in a room and be ashamed of my appearance. I am willing to let go. I am willing to run the extra mile, I am willing to do the extra set of weights. I am willing to eat the right portion and ONLY that. I am willing to eat the right foods. I am willing to dedicate quiet time everyday with the Lord. I am willing to be still and quiet and open my heart in prayer so that He can lead my life. I want to be me; therefore, I am willing to let God's will be!!! Running by FAITH, Mona
I’m letting go, I’m free! I let go of pain, anger, and self destruction. There is a plan for my life and I keep interfering with it. God has a purpose for each one of us and I don’t want to miss the experience or opportunity to serve Him because I am to busy holding on to so much baggage. Everything that has happened in my life from my early years to now has happened to transform me into the person I was meant to be. Some people planned it to harm me but God will use it for His glory. I am slowly learning this and am excited to be on this journey. Life is a process and it has many seasons that we enter. I believe by letting go I am entering a season of faith, health, physical fitness, and mentally and emotionally preparing for something bigger. The spiritual battle has been fought and won, so why do I take it upon myself to try to fix things? I am letting go of control issues that I really don’t have any control over. I am preparing my whole being to be used to help others in a greater way than I thought I could.
My transformation began a few months ago, when my husband and I faced the biggest challenge of our lives. At that time, I "gave it up". I totally surrendered everything to GOD. The peace that came with that was beyond explanation. Circumstances changed and life proceeded. It became apparent that other aspects of my life needed transforming too. Health and fitness were only a part of it. As before, Bill Phillips has mentored me in that area. Life continues to be challenging but by giving up my self will, and being grateful for my abundant blessings ( yes, the challenges are a blessing.....sometimes you have to look hard to find them, or to accept it on faith) I have found the road less rocky and much more pleasant. It isn't a war. It is a journey.
I started out wanting a physical transformation. To get into fantastic shape so that I just didn’t have to think about it anymore and could get about my life without worrying about what I can fit into. As the days passed, the opportunity to serve on the transformation team was intriguing– kind of “woo-hoo, that’d be cool”. But that isn’t what’s drawn me here. Neither is winning $20,000 – although being able to give that away is appealing. When you sweetened the pot with the trips to Hawaii – that, too, was cool, but I really didn’t crave it. I have such a beautiful life and my needs are simple. Initially I felt “I can and will do this without any bumps in the road, I will do it perfectly– you’ll see, I have it under control this time”. . . and that really was my intention. I’m ending week 11 today and have definitely had my obstacles. I think I glossed over them ‘cause who wants to admit they aren’t in control. But it seems like the harder I’ve tried the more resistance I’ve run up against. When I read about so many on this site doing SO well, losing so much weight - I feel kind of embarrassed – how can I share that I’m outta wack with the program? Things kinda came to a head in the night - Our family has been in a bit of a turmoil the last few weeks with the recurrence of our granddaughter’s Leukemia – lots of nasty treatments, lots of personal involvement and . . . I have allowed myself to slip into old patterns.. I’ve done the exercise, but I’ve really let the food get out of control, and when you do it once, then again . . . it’s hard to stop that train wreck. I wanted SO badly to say screw it, and use this situation as an excuse . . . it is a good one after all, isn’t it? But the one thing I promised myself is that no matter what – I will not quit! I woke up at 1:30 this morning, feeling pretty freaked out. How can I turn this around? Since I couldn’t sleep, I found myself begging, praying, PLEASE help me, no matter how I try to do this I stumble and fall on my face – and I’m losing confidence – time is running out - how is it possible to want something SO badly and yet not put in all the effort required”. Slowly this calm settled over me and my answer came “you are making progress - what’s your hurry? So what if in 7 more weeks you haven’t reached what you see as your ultimate physical goal-you don't need to struggle - you just need to BE!” I awakened later that morning, with a renewed sense of peace and pleasure. I heard someone complaining about the heavy Christian influence to be found here – and there’s definitely a bunch of Christian brothers & sisters on this site - I love Sunshine123 & Coach Brad. Stoney is always there to lend support and give advice, as well as many others. Then there’s Denise, who by walkin’ the talk, has taught me lessons about life and death and keepin’ my eyes on the Coach, that have changed the way I live my life and think about death, forever. Just the other night I was able to share with my daughter, Denise & Jonnae’s story, and how Denise made it possible to for Jonnae to leave this earthly body with a smile on her face knowing that all is how it should be. I know Denise was placed here by God to help me help my daughter and granddaughter through this. There will always be those with whom we disagree, but to me, this is the most beautiful place to receive and offer encouragement, share your heart, your heartache, your dreams, your fun, your fears, your transformation successes and blunders. Thank you SO much for this wonderful gathering place, Bill – I LOVE my extended family. Terrie
I will give up my negativity and the feeling like I am just merely existing. I have so much to be thankful for, yet I always feel like there's something more to life. I think about this often. I always look back on times in my life where I was thinking these exact thoughts...that I'm not where I should be in life, or I'm not successful enough....but then I think to myself, if I was anywhere else at that point in my life, just for one instant, I might not be where I am today...married to a great woman, and the father of two wonderful children. If I did one thing just a little different, I might not have even met my wife. And to think, just for a second, that my son or daughter would not have existed...that would just be a giant loss to this world. You would have to meet them to know what I mean. My daughter, who is only three, is constantly telling my wife and my mother how beautiful they are, and she tells me constantly how she thinks I'm so handsome. I guess I can learn a lot from her. So, let me get back from this tangent I went on. I will let go of my negativity and I guess I can call it "regrets". Because there is no place I would rather be than where I am. I keep up a positive attitude around my children, so I will keep it up the rest of the day.
Bill, I'm going to be honest with you. I started this transformation challenge off and running like a bat out of hell. I had EVERYTHING down to the T. I was on fire, but I have been struggling, I've been fighting this very fight you mentioned. I haven't been on the internet a lot lately, there's been a lot going on, and I have been dealing with a major gap in my relationship with my wife. You see, I have become a much different person, a better one. I've put a lot of the principles in this program and in others to the test and I've found they are REAL truth. Although my wife doesn't think that I'm crazy because of how some of my beliefs have changed, we are not in the same "place" anymore, if you will. We talk about it all that time, the fact that we feel as though we are on two totally different levels, and it's really been tearing me apart. I want you to know that this lesson has given me so much hope. That's all I've been doing is fighting this, THINKING of all the ways to make it better instead of FEELING it better. I've not been to the gym in weeks because I've felt so destroyed by this, to be married for only 3 months and already this void.... it's been something that has broken me. Now I'm ready, now I have learned that pain preceeds realization of big change. Suffering is on some level or another necessary to grow. I now realize that this time out of the gym, this whole thing the way it's happened has been because it's EXACTLY what it needed to be in order for me to become, as you said, AWARE that I need to give up the fight. The apostle Paul always wondered why he would do the things that he wished and prayed not to do. You said it all when you "What we resist persists." WOW. What a revelation! Bill, thank you. You have become one of the most influential and inspirational teachers I have ever come to know, even through BFL and this site, I feel as though I know you. I know that you teach TRUTH, and that is what I believe in. I've been burned by a lot of teachers, a lot of places and people that I went to seeking truth, and I've found in that seeking that you as well as some others' material and teachings were given to me as a result. For truly, if you seek, you shall find. Thanks again. By the way, I'll be back in the gym today at 5PM, NOT fighting, but BEING THE CHANGE. Very Sincerely, Jeremy
Wow what a loaded lesson. I have had to really think and reflect on this one for a bit. For me there was a lot that I had to give up. I had to give up my sense of urgency and desperation. I traded one form of negative "self talk" for another. So instead of "I'm fat" "I look awful" "I am so unhappy" it became "Why aren't I changing" "What more do I have to do" "This isn't working" " I am wasting my time" " I don't get it". I was constantly frustrated and felt that things HAD to change and quickly - RIGHT NOW...I deserved it damn it I was working SO hard!!! So trading negative for negative did nothing for me. Then Jonnae and Denise came into my world. Almost overnight my entire attitude changed to I GET TO DO THIS...I am healthy, I am capable, I am committed and I GET TO DO THIS. The numbers don't HAVE to change...I felt a instant calm in my heart and in my soul and let go of my frustration, urgency and desperation. I focused on enjoying my time with my exercising, being grateful for the time I got to spend with my children hiking all summer long, being grateful for the gift of life that God has given me, and giving up my selfish attitude. I focused my attention and positive energy to others, here at T.com...everything just fell into place almost over night and I was basically re-born. Through sharing my story here, through encouraging and motivating others and being an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on.... I put OTHERS first and it helped ME in the most wonderful ways imaginable. This truly was not just about ME. I also had to give up my excuses...and Lord knows I had a bunch! I deserved to be unhappy and miserable my entire life has been a struggle and painful so its ok if I am fat and miserable...I should be...RIGHT? NO! I had to learn that the things told to me as a child were lies and I had to let go of the damage I allowed it to do for far too long. No more excuses...there just is no good excuse to continue to live in my own self proclaimed hell...no reason whatsoever. So I had to let it go.....and just let it be! I GOT TO let go of a lot of stuff and none of it was good or benefiting me in any way.....so be gone...and never come back...for I control my life, my destiny, my happiness from here on out
This lesson was very confusing for me to understand. I have thought about it for some time now. I even sought outside help to understand. I am thinking that for me – it means that now my good habits are in place - Good Eating Habits - How to exercise, I do not think about this anymore, I have surrendered to the fact that my body, soul and faith will take care of me. Yes, I can always do better. However, now I know, my inner strength and faith have taken over and I feel I am on automatic. It feels great not to worry about how and when to workout – what to eat and when (yes, I still miss a few meals) on the whole my being is doing well. This gives me more time to enjoy life and to be there for others.
I want to be OK with looking good on the outside and stop thinking I am not as good as others. Inside I know my demons are what incapacitate my efforts to improve myself. I desperately want to look and feel great but I harbor a deep fear of attracting the notice of predators and I know I self-sabotage my efforts. Knowing this, confronting this is a big step in the battle but it is still a HUGE obstacle that is oh so hard to overcome. In my preteen youth, I was sexually molested repeatedly and I know this is the reason I have struggled with weight and self-esteem my whole life. This internal battle has been waging for many years. I face this clash of wills daily and usually let my self-preservation mode win out over what I know will be the better road for me in the long run. Thank you to Bill and everyone here for the positive messages and inspiration to help in the war that wages within.
What is most important to me at this point is not caring what other people are thinking about me. This whole transformation is NOT about them, it's about me and what "I" need to work on. This has always been a "bad habit" throughout my life; worrying about what other people, including my family, are thinking about who I am and what I'm doing. And with that, I have always been guarded about myself and have had a "closed mind" toward other people, and their thoughts and ideas. This is the first time I have responded or entered my thoughts over the internet, but after reading and applying the assignments throught this Transformation and reading the entries of others, I have come to realize what I need to do to fullfil my goals. I need to "surrender" my fears, my insecurities, and my past to accomplish what I need to do. I must "give-up" on being closed minded and open my mind to all possibilities and opinions and be able to listen and be truthful about who I am and what I need to accomplish. "This is only the beginning!"
I have been living with the falsehood that if I look good on the outside then I am healthy on the inside. I don't know if that has been ingrained in me from other people's perception of me or if That's the image I want to believe. A while back, my focus unintentionally changed during my transformation to the inner self. That was a big eye opener for me and now I need the outside just a little bit to still feed my EGO! What I really want from this transformation is to be the healthiest I can be on the inside, to lessen so meds, and to be happy with where I am in my life
So far I've given up the need to reward myself with food. That is surface. Deep down I've given in to feeling great physically spiritually and emotionally. I love sharing how I got to look and feel so good. I'm starting now an exercise group on Saturdays for those that don't want to be Diet and Exercise people, but want a comraderie. I love to share this great feeling of being in control of my life. It's still craZY busy, but, I am handling it better than ever before. AND, it's because of the ENERGY YOU PROMISED. kennie
At the risk of a answer that is too much like the question, I am willing to give up the struggle. I want inner peace, and for me that comes from letting go and letting God. When I struggle to control or attach to outcomes, the peace is gone. I am also learning that good results in life can come much easier than my perception. I think I've always thought if there was a harder way, tell me so I can really prove myself! The bliss that comes from a gentler way of being with myself, others and with life in general is what makes the peace attainable.
I needed time with this assignment and when I stopped thinking about, I felt my answer! I'm ready to give up the drama I'm so good at creating and relax into life allowing it to happen in Divine Order. In holding on so tightly, trying to control everthing, that I've choked the joy out of the journey of each day. I'm willing to let go and allow life to unfold. I've set my goals and I'll keep moving in the direction I've chosen, yet I'll allow God to help me along the way, even if Iit leads to a detour I hadn't anticipated. I'm ready to give up the idea that I have to do it all myself and accept the fact that I'lm not alone in my transformation.
This is real personal and humbling for me to post this here for everyone and God to see. Most of my life I have struggled with feeling inferior, second to all. However, through faith in God I knew a better day would come. And it did. I overcame low self-esteem and depression and chose never to go back. Nevertheless, years later I suffered heartbreak. I built walls to keep from being hurt. However, what I really did was imprison myself to keep me from becoming the person I was supposed to become. Before the walls I felt I had a gift of compassion for those with needs—spiritual, physical and psychological. My heart always felt for those of need. I never understood how one could hate or not be compassionate towards other people. God made all people equal. The walls blinded me from my basic beliefs and my life was miserable. The walls allowed me to put up a front around other people and I hid my true feelings. Until one friend opened my eyes. This person saw something behind the walls that I myself could not see--ME. From that point the walls began to crumble. And now I have given up the fight to rebuild them. Amen—Let it Be.
Since coming to this site and being involved in this transformation it has made me look back at the last nine or ten years of my life. It's sobering to see where you've been and to look at the details in a way to try to decide if you've grown, if you're a better person, if you've done the right things and if you're doing enough. Enough for family, enough for friends, enough for people. Because of this site I have come to write down many things that have happened in my life over the last few years. I have taken the time to put it out in front of me and pour over the details and because of this it has enabled me to relive and revisit and see the importance of each and every special moment, and realize just how these times have shaped me and made me who I am. I realize that I need to be the very best I can so I can represent what I stand for and believe in. I think I've got to give up the past to get what I what from this transformation. Not that the past was bad but I think we tend to cling to the past and hold onto the times that were special or when we felt good about ourselves and that holds us back from doing more and being better. I believe we are to let the Lords living waters flow through us to reach others and in time they can do the same. I just need to go to bed each night knowing I've done my best that day to help someone do that. The dedication it takes to eat right and workout must be applied to the heart and make sure it gets that same dedication.
What an interesting thing to consider - I am willing to give up everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience. It is funny because really how I arrived here was a result of giving up everything and trusting God. I had struggled with health and weight for about 10 years in sobriety and someone I trusted said to me you need to get your relationship with God right and when you do your health and weight issues will be dealt with, I believed that and I concentrated on my relationship with God - through that relationship I became ready to start this transformation journey and then I received an email to come check out the transformation site and challenge. I trust that God is working inside of me because I feel good, I feel right with God, and I know he is there with me every step throughout my day. I am progress not perfection. I did not enter this transformation so that I could win any physical prize, I entered this transformation because I wanted my physical, mental and spiritual sides to all align. The gifts that come from that alone are amazing and enough. I am willing to reprioritize my life - spend more time in prayer - leave work on time and go to the gym - plan so that I eat right - go to bed earlier - I am willing to continue to set aside everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience with God and this transformation process. Setting everything aside has truly transformed my life!
This took a few days to get honest with and dig deep. Being afraid of making mistakes is what keeps me from being my true self. This is what I'm willing to give up and be free of. It becomes a chain reaction of ego driven behaviors I don't like in myself. To give this up means to be honest and live free of self-judgement. To live easier.. to let go.. to be myself without worry of pleasing or doing things right for the wrong reasons. I'm understanding that making mistakes is an opportunity for growth and this is helping me in giving up something that was such a big part of me.... I continue the work for Transformation.
I am willing to give up the comfort zone that I have built up around me.....I want to step out of my box and just be me.
Bill...so the question, "What do I really want?" is a toughie. I think all of my life I have been struggling with that one. I think through this transformation I have finally figured that out. I just want to be me. It sounds simple, but in actuallity it is very complex. I have finally let go of the expectations of the world and I am truly happy at the life I have. I have a great husband and four crazy kids. I wouldn't change that for a second. I want to be the best mom, wife, daughter, and person I can be. I also want to be excited about life each and everyday. When I wake up I get to exercise. Isn't that a blessing. It's all good. Thank you so much for believing in me and the rest of the transformation-ites out there. LaNae
I had to think about this one and took a long walk at lunch to think it over. My transformation is focused on three areas; my health, my relationship with God, and birthing a ministry. The health area is the obvious one, but I am having to give up making myself feel good with food. Giving up temporary happiness and coping and replacing it with feeling my feelings and not always having the ability to resolve the issues instantly. Spiritually I have to give up myself and some of my negative attitudes, sins, or ways of doing things. This also means I have to be willing to give up friendships that sabotage my growth. Which is not easy for me because I love people and tend to have a high tolerancy for their issues. It means being humbled and examining my heart so that I can become a better person. It means being vulnerable to my God and being vulnerable even with God is not always easy if you have been hurt in the past. Finally, ministry. I have to be willing to let go of aspects of myself, how I feel and my opinions in order to better work with people. I have to keep my mouth shut more often and focus my words and insight on things that will help others. This is not easy as have always had an opinion. But I need to keep focused on why I am doing what I do and it is not so I can give my opinion. I have to sacrifice socially in order to produce a book and get everything up and going which can be lonely at times. I have to be more selective as to who I let into my inner circle and discover where I draw the line as far as letting others into my personal life. I experienced the negative aspect of this recently and I realized not everyone is rooting for me and everyone has an opinion. So I need to make a decision to protect my privacy but also have those few that I trust to keep me accountable.
Since I was 18,(I will soon be 50) I have done physical transformations. Up and down and all around. Last year I did my last one. When I was done I sure looked good on the outside but was empty on the inside. At that time I knew I had to give up the craziness (my anger, hate, jealousy, competitiveness,) With all that stuff I accumalated, I became the very person I did not like. Who cares if your body has some thinness or muscle and the inside looks like garbage. I felt like I had to just go and sit in a field of just loving me. I sat there for some time. And as I sat there, my physical changed, I gained weight, but I was at a point where I really seen who I was and I loved me. I knew that it would all be good, . I started asking to feel good again physically, I kept my spirit up and I was given what I asked for. I am up at 4:45 at the gym with a big smile. I eat right, not to be better then anyone, but for me, so I feel good. Everyday I love me, not in 12 weeks or tommorow. Today is the day!
I prayed today and every Sunday for this. That God will use me as he wants to, so that I can be his love to someone around me who needs to feel His love. To hear God call upon me loud and clear is what I feel is part of the inner transformation that He wants of me.
Bill, like many others, I feel as though you have given this assignment just for me. It has been 5 and a half years since my wife passed away and I am still running. I can give up whatever time I need to in order to excercise and get in good physcial condition, but in order to move on emotionally, I need to stop running and meditate or something similiar. I am working on this, but I find it difficult to do for long stretches at a time. Thanks for raising my level of awareness.
I want to be genuine. I want to be authentically ME - not the person that I think that I should be or that someone else wants me to be. The person I was created to be is good and whole and does not need to be someone or something else. I want to better know the real me - and get comfortable being me. I want to let go of my concern for what others think of me, how they see me, even what someone else thinks of this response. To be genuine, I need to give up my self-consciousness. One thing that I think will help with that is to take more time to know myself. I need to give up some of the time that I spend on the computer and reading and use that time in prayer, meditation, and journaling.
Three words describe what I want most out of this experience – Happiness, Joy, Freedom. To be happy, joyous and free seems like a courageous challenge of the will against the forces of frustration, fear and failure. But that is so bogus. Why would I believe such a thing? I probably don't want to give up control (If I do what I want that means I don't have to do anything). I probably don't want to give up living beyond my means (If I do that I will be just like my peers- average ). I probably don't want to give up “melancholy.” That's not a fruit, its my state of mind that excuses greater ambitions (If I do that I don't have to face my own accountability). I've kind of learned after 50 years of “doing it my way” that it might be time to start living a different way. It's already begun. Simple things have truly been inspiring. Seeing change, documenting it, and enjoying every minute of it keeps me believing in achieving. I want to give up the habits that drag me down the most (Control-I like it my way, Consumption-accumulating stuff, Complaints-negativity towards self or others). AND I WANT TO CONTINUE THE CONTINUOUS POSITVE PROGRESS I'VE ENJOYED THESE PAST 35 DAYS....FOREVER. Thanks Bill!
I must second Shane's comment. I feel as if you got inside of me Bill and wrote this assignment just for me. I will give up control. I have been trying to control every aspect of my life and the cirecumstances around me so that I could control the fear that threatens to eat me up inside, Fear of What? EVERYTHING!! I will write in my blog to further explain my revelation that occurred for me yesterday. While on the back of a Harley I contemplated this assignment and discovered why I must give up the fight. I can't wait to see you bill in October in Pheonix so I can hug you for this one. You just took me over the edge. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! Love Annissa
Wow....ummm...well...for the past few years I have felt, and still feel, like I'm living in a bubble, emotionally separated from most people, but especially my Hombre. We pretty much have a sexless marriage. Part of it has to do with my self-image, and part of it has to do with his problem with alcohol. I have learned to hold back my love, not just physically, but also the most important part...the love that comes from deep within your soul and heart. I don't want to open myself up to possible hurt or disappointment, and I'm still holding on to my anger with his drinking. So I am very withdrawn from him. It's like living with a roommate. What am I ready to give up to continue this transformation? The answer would be to put down my gaurd, and allow myself to really feel love for this man, and maybe that will generate the same response from him, and we can begin to work towards a happy relationship. But the question is, will I allow myself to do that? I want to, sorta. How to do that? No idea. I guess I have to quit looking for a way out of this relationship first and foremost. So, I cannot say whether I'm ready to give up the wall I've built around my heart when it comes to him. So much more to say, so I'll have to finish this in my blog. Wow...
This post brought me to tears. It's this exact issue that I have been struggling with for over a year. I have made a good physical transformation over the last 4 years (kept 25lbs off and am strong as an ox now). I am working on my inner transformation, which is also good (just a few weeks away from being a certified fitness trainer). BUT, my physical transformation has stalled over the last year because of this very struggle. What I am resisting persists and I have not been able to figure out why I won't let myself get to the next level. To resist this positive change is gut wrenching, yet it must be more comfortable than getting to the next level because I'm not letting myself get there. For anyone going through this. I feel for you. I will let myself get there. Maybe this is just the post I needed to read to finally cross this abyss.
I am willing to give up what is man’s God or heaven......I am willing to accept my journey in this life as it is and leave the “How’s” to the Universe...... I do not have to follow blinded spiritual leaders and their vision for my life........ especially the ones who do not have a handle on their own life.....( "I wake up to the sound of Music"........I wish there was more room here to expand my full thought but I’ll save that for my blog today -Day 79- and over the course of the next 8 weeks)....Thanks for the lesson....~ Pete ~...... P.S. Paul's song in tribute to his Mother is a great piece for this lesson.
I will give up on "ME" and instead, redirect that energy into giving to others more often. Enhancing the greater good, whether that's 'giving up' a workout to spend more time with family and friends, becoming a more patient driver, lending an ear to someone, or by donating time, money, etc. will always do more for you than you can do for yourself. This has certainly held true for me in the past, and I will choose to work harder to make it more of a reality in my life from today on. I know I need some work in this area. =) Hey Bill, thanks for this positive, thought & action provoking post.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.” A great person once said that. I am going to give up my fight with outside influences. I mean my environment around me. It is something that is difficult to control. I probably never stood a chance. Instead of fighting my environment, People doing this, people doing that. People saying this, People saying that. These are things that I can not control. Though I have tried to correct people along the way, but what do I know! Now I am focussing on my own hologram in my head. I respect the environment around me and then taking that extra step each day toward a new direction. Being here with you all is one of those steps. Thank you all for letting me be here....Mark
What do I want...peace inside. I want to feel and look good yes, I am in a profession where fitness is important (exercise instructor), but I don't want that to be the end all - be all. I want a healthy relationship with my family without extreme expectations of who I should be, and what I should be and how I should be. I want to renew my faith in God and renew the strength that I use to get after each church service I attended. I am willing to give up my self sacrificing nature to grow & change these areas of my life. I am willing to say "no" when I don't want to do something someone requests of me and realize that I am not a bad person for saying it! I am willing to work at giving more of myself to the things that matter. I am willing to be, and let God take the wheel. Thanks Bill
My first reaction is to say "I am willing to do anything to feel as good as I am possibly able," but clearly, thats not the case! I get very trapped up in the physical aspect of all of this, i.e. "I want to look good" "I want to lift more" "I want I want I want" etc. What I really want, what I really REALLY want... is to feel good. Yeah, that simple. Just to feel good. During the day, at night, about myself, about others, about my life, what I have accomplished, what I HAVENT accomplished, etc. What am I willing to give up, huh? I am willing to give up the insanity that I bring into my life when I become obsessed. Too much of anything, for me at least, is never a good thing. I think somewhere in this challenge I got a little mixed up and got obsessed with lifting, eating, etc. Totally forgot the whole "want to feel good" thing, and replaced it with "want to feel crazy." So, what willing to give up is my mental obsession. Easier said than done. Its going to take surrender, and some humbling of myself to get that done. But, there it is. Feel good. Thats all I want, and Im going to get there by not living in the insanity of obsession.
I love it! I am willing to give up the need to be right, and the need to control others. I am willing to give up the fear of being wrong I am willing to give up self doubt, and self persecution. Thank you for leading me on this journey of transformation. For I becoming alive, so alive finally. I am starting to GET IT! Jeff
What I will give up is waiting. Waiting till everything is right or perfect to go after what I want. As you said, "don't worry about the things that are beyond our control. Thanks Bill.
What am I willing to give up? Perfection. What do I mean by perfection? It’s when someone tells me “You can’t” and then I made it my mission to say “I can and I will” to prove a point. Trying to prove a point is very exhausting, time consuming, and extremely stressful. I developed this trait after my marriage ended because I wanted to prove to myself and everyone else that I could succeed on my own after a 15 year marriage came to an end. Needless to say I gave up my health and zeal for life because of it. What do I mean by perfection? I say “Yes” when I should have said “No” in some instances. Saying “Yes” all time to keep someone happy made me unhappy. Because of this, people have high expectation of me. This year I had a “light bulb” moment. It happened in my doctor’s office. I discovered I am not a perfect. Truth is I am a far from being perfect….I will never be perfect. When I had that “light bulb” moment….I struggled with that truth for a while. Then I found the “T” and entered the Transformation. All that exhaustion began to unravel; the layers are being peeled away and the real me is emerging. I’ve learned to say “No” and the world did not come to an end. I’m laughing and smiling more. This transformation thus far has made me stronger and more aware of life. I never use to look up at the stars in the heaven; I do now. I want to wake up every morning and say “I choose to live”. And if I can make one person smile each day, then that day was a good day. No, I am not perfect. I am as God has made me in spirit. And that is the truth. Thanks Bill for another well thought out Assignment.
Prior to starting this transformation, I was bitter for having to give up "my life" my career as an artist and go to work full time in our business. As the weeks passed, I was reminded as I have been so often in the past, "in all things be thankful". When I finally gave up my own self interest and was thankful for the opportunities, my attitude started to change. I saw how I was in a place to help others, not only our service recipients who are developmentally delayed, but also our staff. When our executive director abruptly left and I was thrown into assuming those responsibilities, I was emotionally prepared for the challenge, as I was being transformed. Each day, I face challenges, but my attitude has changed, and now I enjoy what I am doing. Sure, I miss my art, and some day, I will be able to return to it, but now, I am where GOD wants me to be and I am trying to "let it be" and be the obedient servant.
It took me some time to give up and give over to God my marriage. Funny how after a while God is so in control of my marriage that all I have to do is wake up everyday and my marriage just works. We get through everything and there is no fear of failure. It just works- praise be to God. BUT my struggle is giving up my physiacl body. I have been so physical my whole life- it took me years to get over the fear of death. Now I just have a fear of aging. I see the changes my body makes and it seems so out of my control. I thought all I had to do was eat right and exercise my whole life and I wouldnt get those "bat wings" under my armpits, the saggy skin over my knees and elbows and the mommy pouch. But guess what??? I am still trying to control fervently what I cannot. I began last week working on giving this up to God. It will take time- as every good change does, but it starts with awareness and then action begins. I am in the middle of the true transformation . And it all comes down to one thing- put God first, and it is amazing how He takes care of us. I had a demon called "sugar" that was slowly destroying me. I worked hard and gave it up. I exercise and eat right- really right. the rest is up to Him.
Bill, When I read this I actually became emotional. This assignment is actually lifting a big weight from my shoulders. You ask "What am I going to give up?" I'm going to give up the need to meet the expectations of others. I will now only live my dream.
HEALTHY BODY+HEALTHY MIND+HEALTHY SPIRIT=TRANSFORMATION.What I have given up is a very unhealthy lifestyle and taking panic/anxiety meds(150 mg three times a day) and let GOD heal my mind and spirit and HE has led me to you,BILL through the old BFL plan and now to true TRANSFORMATION.I have seven weeks left on this and not only has my body changed but my mind has too.The three to five hours that I spend exercising are now my "drugs"of choice and frozen whey protein made w/soymilk is my "ice cream"treat!!!!! "And ye(you)shall know the Truth and the Truth will set you free".And it has!!!!!!!!! Thank you Bill. Rusty
"The fight to let Go" Wow that is so powerful and so much meaning to me right now. I have and will and in the process of giving up the fight, giving up the fight to fight. Seems like lately for the past few years everytime I turn around I am fighting with someon. fighting with my teen ager over something stupid, arguing with anyone that would take the time to hear me out. It's not that I'm tired of fighting, I fight for what I believe in, yet I am ready to stop the fight of the simple little arguments that make me try to prove that I am always right. I am not always right and even if I am, I don't have to prove it. It's the little things I am giving up to get what I want. what do I want? I just want to be happy and peaceful and like myself. I want to stop feeling like if I say something I will hurt someones feelings or get them mad at me. I want to stop feeling so stressed out like I can't breathe in my own home or like I am constancely walking on eggshells. To get what I want see,s simple, maybe it is, but to me it is a challenge. I have begun the challenge and the challenge is winning, I'm seeing the difference. I'm not stressed to the max. I'm not walking on eggshells, I'm not making a drink and saying oh what the heck, who cares anyway. I'm fighting the battle within myself to feel differently about others opionions, acknowledge there right to their opinion and not jusge weather is't right or wrong or fight that I am right or wrong. I'm living a healthy life not only because of my diet a and exercises choices but because of the choices I am making to keep my mouth shut when I should and say something productive if I should. Thanks Bill, This challenge is not only getting more interesting but it's giving me the chance to stand away from myslf and look in at the real me and notice what has to change. Love, GET*HER*DONE Linda Ann Smith
Bill, Bill, Bill… you’ve done it again! This is my favorite topic yet. Of all the things I have learned from you over the years, nothing has had a greater impact than your insight of “knowing what you must give up to get what you want.” Here are the two things that I believe, with every fiber of my being, were the most instrumental elements of my transformation: #1 - I gave up telling the “old” story, which sounded something like this: THE OLD STORY: “I am a soft, non-athletic soccer mom with two kids. I’m in my mid forties – what makes me think I can look eighteen again??? I have a career, a great family, and I look okay – why should I kill myself with exercise?? Besides, I’m smart enough to know that with my schedule, I’ll never stick to any exercise program! I like food way too much to change the way I eat…” I got rid of that worn out story and replaced it with the new story: THE NEW STORY: “I am a strong, healthy, talented human being. I am completely capable of transforming myself into exactly the person I have always dreamed of… athletic, energetic, tight and lean, happy, certain, attractive and sexy. I am made up of the same physical material as thousands of other healthy people who have completely transformed their bodies, reversed the aging process and become better and better and better. That is who I am. That is what I continue to become.” I told the new story, I believed the new story, I became the new story. #2 - I gave up the attitude that working out had to be agony – that it was a chore that must be done and gotten over with as soon as possible. When I gave up this attitude and began looking for and experiencing the joy and satisfaction that every set, every rep provided, everything changed for me, especially my body. It’s not that every workout was sheer joy from that point on, but my approach now is that every workout COULD potentially be the most joyful part of my day, instead always taking the attitude, “it’s hard, it’s tough, I gotta push, push, push myself to do it…” These two things: telling the NEW story and taking the NEW attitude towards my workouts and nutrition plan has carried me for over 9 years. It have brought me more happiness and satisfaction than any other single change. So, once again, I feel compelled to say, “Thanks Bill, from the bottom of my heart,” for uttering those words so many years ago, “Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.” ABD - AWESOME BEYOND DESCRIPTION!
I'm letting go of my "Cravings." Craving for the next bowl of ice cream, the next new gadet, the next glass of wine, the next vacation, the next purchase. I realize that too much of my life has been spent living in the craving zone and that I need to spend more time enjoy what I have, the current journey I'm on and the bigger and more important things in my life.
“Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it.”---- When I heard you first ask that in Body of Work, I wrote it down in my journal. It was powerful then and even more powerful now. It is far deeper and more outside of myself. BEFORE: it was very rooted in the physical world...health, less pain and discomfort from carrying excess weight...Now the transformation is soulful and about something bigger....somehow global....
Bill, I would like to share with everyone what “Giving up the fight” has meant to me. When I gave up the fight I had reached a point in my life where nothing made sense. I was loosing everything I had worked so hard for, and didn't know what to do next. I was raised with a knowing that I was loved and that god had a plane for everything he created, But do to the fact that we tell ourselves that we have to create all the good this life has to offer, I had chosen to experience this life on my own.. The day I surrendered to his love, was the day my Transformation fell in to place. God has given me a peace inside and a knowing that this has all been part of his plan and that nothing happens by coincidence.. I have been able to release the fear that the world seems to live-in telling us that we aren’t worthy of his favor. I can see how so many people are afraid to let there spirits free, because we have been taught that we are not worthy of his plan and so we just exist rather than experience his LOVE.. I know that I have a long way to go but I’m on my way with a knowing that he is leading my every foot step, and he has a divine purpose for us all. We should all feel very special and accept his love, for it is the gift he gave us ALL “He loved us all so much he sent his own son to experience death that we might live for all eternity.. If we can all accept this gift there is NO Fight… Keep Shinning the Light. John
It is so hard for me to express how this post really hit home with me. This assignment ties into #8 for me. I have to be willing to give up *control* in order to suceed. And what I mean by that is my perceived control of everything & everyone else around me...but me. Like coach said I have given it up before, just to turn around & take it right back. The few times before I have given up trying to control everyone else, I felt such freedom. Obviously it didn't last long & I started doing it again a co-dependent life. It is like I keep thinking if all the outside cirsumstances are just right, *then* I can do this. I know now I need to do it anyway. That things will never be totally perfect, or whatever *my* idea of perfect is. I just need to give up the internal struggle, the constant fight, like you said & just let it be. Just do the work & KNOW that things will come together however they are supposed to & accept it may not be the exact way *I* thought it was supposed to turn out. I hope I made sense.
Quick correction, The reminder OF (not or), thanks again
I am amazed at how in sync this messege is with just what I thought about this morning. I hold on to an expectation a resultant, and then when I let it go and still continue with the process I chose to take me there, I enjoy not only a phenomenal result, I also allow myself to feel the joy the process itself generate. I want to LIVE! Live well, with passion, gratitude, inspiration, joy, love and full consciousness!!! Thank you Bill for the reminder or what I am here for
living life out of fear and not enjoying what gifts I am given. I GIVE UP THAT!
Before I started this challenge, I wasn't able to leave my house. I missed my cousin's wedding in March and sat in the house and cried all day because I was so afraid and so sad I couldn't be there with the rest of my family to celebrate. This fear thing started out of nowhere about eight years ago when I was driving and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. The docs called it a panic attack and it just kept getting worse. So I started the challenge wanting to change in many ways. Lately, I've been really discouraged because I'm not seeing any physical changes, even after two months of rarely missing a day of exercise, eating write and working so hard. When I read your title, Bill, "Giving Up the Fight" I thought it was about giving up the challenge and quitting. I've done that three times before. I have no intention of quitting. But this assignment...this is harder. I feel like I've given up so much of life already because of this fear. I was fully focused on this challenge and my change. Or was I? As I think back over this challenge, I see I have missed morning workouts before breakfast, I've skipped meals, I've stayed up late -- and it's always for the same reason: I live on my computer. My life is centered around it, especially since I got so sick. Well that's history. Since I started this challenge, I have been able to go outside and walk. I've been able to drive again and I'm freaking crying as I write that because it's been YEARS since I could do normal every day things like this. I've felt like such a freak, and I've missed out on so much. Yesterday I drove all the way to Cape May with my kids and went to the beach and got a sunburn and visited an art gallery. It was life -- sun, wind, sand -- OUTSIDE. So I'm giving up my computer addiction. I'm planning my workouts for outside as much as possible and getting away from the front of this seductive silver box. I'll allow myself evenings but it gets shut off at midnight -- no exceptions. My days are going to be filled with sunshine again and life, not virtual life. Thank you Bill. You rock.