Bill Phillip's | Transformation

Hmmmm I hope this is what you call low level habits. If so I have a few of them and here is what I'll do about each one of them. One is my inner voice reminding me that I tried BFL challenges before and I failed. This time I'm confident in myself and I know I will complete this challenge without any obstacles. If there are obstackles I will look at them as a challenge and defeat it. Another habit is my grumpiness towards others on the road. Almost like road rage but I just get mad as curse sometimes. What am I doing about this? Now I just take deep breaths and think to myself it's nothing but a thing and not everyone is perfect. Neither am I :0) My biggest low level habit is not wanting to get up early to workout. I keep hitting the snooze button. I still get up but not as early as I would like to. My plan is to get to bed early and stick to it.

My Lowest habit was my negativity! My criticism to others, responding to others criticism in a negative way. Feeling more positive now and loving life and those around me already has shifted my negativity. Procrastination, something i used to be very guilty of, is something i need to build on.

Since the Tn weekend I have worked all day today on looking at all the assignments and seeing if anything has changed, I see alot of change but still see alot more work to be done. I have just realized from going over all my notes and essays to myself and journals that I answered what my lowest fault was but I didn't answer how I would turn that around. To transform that weakness into a strength. That's very hard. Honestly right now, I don't know. I have to think about this and focus on an answer. if I had to give an on the spot answer I thinnk I would have to say. I will trnasform this negitive bad habit in to strenght by 1st realizing that I have this bad fault and that it is a fault that is holding me back. 2nd I've learned from this fault because it showed me that I can never rise above it if I continue to hold on to the past. If I hold onto the past and dwell on it it becomes a habit, if I stop dwelling on the pain that the problem caused I can stop the pain too. if I stop the pain I won't be dwelling on a negitive thought therefore the bad habit breaks. I can and will replace the negitive thought with a good thought and think of the good and not the pain. so while I am thinking positive thoughts I am making a new good habit. Not sure if what I am writing is making sense but I know what is in my head right now. I'll have to think about this tomorrow, it's getting late and I need to have a fresh clearer thought on answering this. GET*HER*DONE LINDA

i did write here 38 days ago..time management was my lowest level habit. procrastination and letting other things take priority over ME TIME. over the past 38 days i have been more aware of the tricky tricks my subconscious tries to play to sabotage my gameplan. I am finding more time in my day for things like meditation, prayer, reading novels, playing with my pets, playing with my husband and having more of a life outside thanks to this transformation. I am assessing what needs to be done and am more able to say..."no, i am going for a run in 10 minutes but i will be back and will get to that in an hour, after i shower" decision making is becoming easier as i break the procrastination habit too! i am keeping the promises i make to myself with more and more regularity and pleasure.

#8, Transforming Your Lowest Level Habit, Creating Something New FROM BILL - "Here’s the way I see it: When it comes to Transformation, you can only rise as high as your lowest habit. And only when we free ourselves of those habits can we ascend." Man oh man, Bill really doesn't pull any punches with us! I felt that one in my gut. "POSTED ON BILL'S BLOG - Mine's food. I love it. I love to cook it. I love to eat it. I love to read about it and study it and play with it - really! When people play that fun game where they ask "If you could have any wish granted instantly, what would it be?" My husband laughs. He says, before I can answer, "She'd be able to eat anything she wants." Bill, you ask, "How can I transform this weakness into a strength?" Powerful question! Thanks, so very much. My answer is to transform this love of food into a love of creating varied, healthy, delicious meals that are gorgeous and support my new lifestyle. Thank you so much for this post. It is EXACTLY what I needed to read this morning. Sending good thoughts and a hug your way, Deb" Here's the thing. After I read this blog and after I posted my lowest level habit, I got to thinking. Real thinking. Hard thinking. From another assignment I learned that I was willing to learn new things from other people, and that I don't know everything. I learned what I was willing to give up, then I gave it all up, let it all go. Except my kava, by the way, apparently I'm not on that level yet -he, he!!!! After letting go - of results, of fighting the process, of shame, of blame, of microwaving most my food, of continuously repeating the same mistakes, of an acid body ph, of cooking the life out of food, of being tired, frumpy, sick, old and exhausted most of the time - I came to a pretty neat place. New. Wow. New. New things to do. New things to learn. New things to think. New ways to feel. I found I like the simplicity and uncluttered promise of new. It makes me feel young again. Full of promise and hope and happiness and untapped possibility. It makes me start wonder-ing again, as in wonder-ful, full of wonder. I am NOT on drugs by-the-way, except the caffeine, of course, so you can let that excuse for my "wonder-ings" go. I'm just new. I decided to try a new habit. The one I mentioned in my response to Bill's blog. Eating gorgeous food. For me, this meant mostly raw. I like it. Really. Lots of variety and color and flavor. I bought 4 new raw/vegan books and picked up new recipes one at a time. When I picked up the new habit of eating gorgeous food, my energy soared. My muscles quit hurting so much after workouts. When I picked up the habit of adding power foods like chlorella, maca and non-dairy acidophilus to my diet, my chronic bout of lichen planus (yucky immune disorder I've had for years) disappeared. Literally. That was new!!!!! Needless to say, I'm liking new. All because I was willing to replace my lowest level habit with a strength. My biggest weakness is becoming my biggest supporter. Today my friend (another Deb), told me what she likes about me is that I'm always willing to try new things, even if I have no idea if I will like them. Even if I actually don't like them, but think they will make my life or my loved ones lives better. She's right. I try new things. CHALLENGE - I want to challenge anyone reading this to try something new today. Something positive. Something small or large, it doesn't matter. It can be something you like or don't like. But, it does need to be something supportive of your higher self and God-given potential. Something that moves you forward. Something that makes you bigger, or at the very least, something that makes you feel a little - new. Sending love and gratitude to all my friends here with me today, Debby

What is my lowest level habit? This is sad but true. I had to only think about it for a second and it popped into my head. It's sad that this pops up A LOT on a daily basis, and it is definately something I NEED to change. It's negative self talk. I am sooooooo hard on myself and say things to myself ALL DAY LONG that are horrible. Things like "I'm soooo fat, and always will be" or "Wow, I am so ugly" or "I can't do anything right so why do I try". This is seriously the very tiny tiny tip of the iceberg in the things I say to myself and about myself on a daily basis. And, as hard as it is to admit, I am in counseling for this, when initially I went because of PPD. I found that me talking so negatively about myself is really affecting my life and me as a person and who I believe I can be. I have already come A LONG way, but I can do better and I NEED to do better. So, how am I going to change this? First of all, I write down every negative thought that comes into my head and then I have to write down one positive thing about myself for every negative thing I write down. It sounds silly, but it really has helped so much. I have also decided to start telling myself in the mirror as I get ready for the day 3 positive things about the way I look that day, since I struggle with feeling like I am not pretty or cute enough. This new change is the result of this assigment. Amy

I don't know where to start. It seems as I was reading through this assignment, so many negative patterns and habits came up. It is no wonder why I am/was in the worst shape of my life just a few months ago, mentally, physically and spiritually. Even though I have known about BFL and Bill Phillips for years (since the beginning) I really never committed to BE THE CHANGE. That is until now. I made the decision and am crossing the abyss everyday...slowly but steadily....focusing on the mantra, "Progress, Not Perfection and working diligently at finding the reasons behind my weight, the unhappiness and the total disconnect with my life. What do I feel is a habit or pattern that I need to overcome? (here are some of them) Depressive Episodes Negative Self-Talk Bombarding Myself With Past Failures "I Should" Thinking Trying to Escape Living Life (through television, sleeping too much, etc) Self-Hatred Trust Issues That Damage My Relationships The "I'll do it later" Syndrome Social Anxiety (almost agoraphobic sometimes) Giving UP When Things Get Hard I know I have plenty of weaknesses, so I must be a very strong person! ha/ Admitting them to a big group is hard. I am going to keep reminding myself that your bad habits are not who you are. Like Bill says, "negative patterns are just what you do", and they are not working for me anymore. My Lowest-Level Habit/Pattern The lowest level-habit/pattern that I think takes the prize in this category is escapism/quitting. This has not been going on for a short time...it has been going on forever. Like an ostrich runs when he feels danger and hides his head, I have been treating my life that way. I think the habit/pattern that is holding my transformation at bay is that when things get too difficult or overwhelming, I escape through any means possible, and if that doesn't work I quit. I have done this all my life....in childhood, my teenage years, college years, and the present. I have often joked that the only thing I haven't quit is my husband and my 2 sons....but they won't accept my resignation...hee/hee How Am I Going To Transform That Weakness Into A Strength? One way that I am learning to stick with the program is that I have carved out very realistic, attainable and purposeful goals that I will achieve over time. I used to set unrealistic goals and when I saw I couldn't reach them, I threw in the towel. I am focusing on "Progress, Not Perfection" and I am forgiving myself for any boo boo's or blunders I make along the way. I am being honest about the ways I escape and getting rid of them...television, oversleeping, eating junk food, and taking OTC and prescription drugs that make me feel numb. I quit watching television with the exception of an occasional show or movie with my family. I have a bedtime and a time to wake up now and I follow that religiously. I have purged my house of junk food, tell myself NO, or only eat a small portion on my free day. I started relying on my husband to check out the meds and give them to me when I need them. I am getting endless love and support from my friends and family. I have exchanged numbers with several of my friends and we check on each other and are accountable. (And they would kick my A$$ if I quit now!!! I'm afraid!) ha/ When I am overwhelmed or things get too difficult, instead of quitting, I turn to someone who has been there....(right??? Stone, Clarissa, Dana, Jan, Dede, Debi, Kerrie, Connie, Dani and Marty??? they have heard me vent) I am just going to DO IT THIS TIME and not quit!! I want and need to be successful in this transformation challenge. For me, it is not only about the weight, it is about how I had lost control over every part of my life. My habits/patterns took me somewhere foreign and I just let it happen. NOW, it is time to take my life back. It is time to live, love, laugh and feel great in my own skin. I am so ready....I WILL BE THE CHANGE!!!! :) lots of love, tim

My lowest level habit is that glass of wine after work...It has been replaced by 1. not buying the stuff and 2. immediatly going for a long walk as soon as I park the van...if this doesn't happen one drink leads to two, two leads to three and finnally half or all a bottle is gone...this is my lowest level habit and it is replaced with a higher level habit or else I will be done.

I'm working on 2 lowest level habits... My 2nd lowest habit is not always eating as nutritionally sound as I should be eating to get the results I want. When I'm in a challenge, I plan my meals, but when not in a challenge, my food tends to slide... I know thatwhen I eat no white sugar, no white flour and fewer processed foods, I feel and perform a whole lot better. My lowest level habit is complaining. I've been keeping a gratitude journal to change my thoughts to all the good things I have in my life - and believe me - I am very blessed!! I have a little post it on my computer that asks, "What are your thoughts?" Thiis is to remind me to look for what is good in every situation.

Before reading Eating for Life, my weakness was food – at least my lack of self-control with the foods I love and my lack of understanding the benefits of the right foods. Exercise has never been a problem for me, I enjoy working out. But I was so frustrated with working out so hard but not losing weight. I was at least maintaining, but after a while, my frustration grew! How I transformed this weakness into a strength? Relearning the principles I had forgotten by re-reading Body for Life and reading Eating for Life. I simply forgot all the wonderful things I learned from the Body for Life book, and Eating for Life was a great reminder, not to mention all the amazing recipes. I didn’t know there were so many ways to enjoy the foods that are good for me!

I have a few of these. First, I have trouble making it through a weekend when I have plans with friends. It's hard to stick to my plan when I'm with a bunch of people who have no plan. Second, I find negative thoughts and actions creeping in while I'm at work. I know I can turn both of these into positives in my life. As far as the weekend goes, I will stick to my plan, even if it means not being part of the group at times. Starting immediately, I will be more tolerable of things that happen at work by trying to remain positive.

After much thought on this I would have to admit to myself that my lowest habit is negative self talk. I am constantly putting myself down, not always out loud but in my head. I need to let go of trying to be perfect and just be. So for every negative thought I have about myself each day I will immediately replace it with a positive one.

I was going to put procrastination...but MIGHTY MARTY said that I should really put that I don't give myself enough credit for all that I do!! So...I'll work on both!! I'm going to stop putting things off, and give myself credit daily for things that I accomplish.

My lowest habit is the way I think about food. I tend to think about food too much. I feel deprived of my favorite foods. I try to control my environment but struggle when something unexpected or out of the ordinary occurs involving food. I want to change my food thought processes. I want to view food as fuel for my body and only eat what is healthiest and needed.

My lowest-level habit is the failure to give myself consistent feedback on this journey. External motivators are a fantastic tool to "get moving"....but then what? It has to come from within! I had hired a personal trainer, but that became a built in excuse. "I don't know why I'm not seeing results, I'm doing what I'm told"! Sound familiar? It's real easy to fall into that path, whether its the BFL workout plan, Mens Health, PT's...at the end of the day, it's up to you! I am the one who decides! I am the one pushing that weight! I am the one who is going to turn up the treadmill for the last mile! I am the one who is getting into true mastery, expressing my vitality and strength on a daily basis! Back to the original point. I have not been consistent in completing these assignments, documenting my progress and assessing. Whether it is transformation, personal issues or work-related, oftentimes I say "oh well, I'll get 'em next time" without assessing the wins and losses. To reiterate, my lowest-level habit is in documenting, projecting and reflecting. I am going to get "great" at reflection, and giving myself an honest appraisal of where I am and where I am going on a daily basis through journaling consistently. This skill is going to improve my focus, thus results.

My lowest habit is not tracking my progress. Bill you said it best in your body of work video stating that "only thing worse than not reaching your goals is reaching them and not knowing how you got there'". So i will track my progress daily from this day forward in a log and if i run out of room, I will get a new one. Thanks bill.

My lowest habit is procrastination...this is a habit I need to work on...I always wait to the last minute to do something...I plan on change this habit by making a plan and sticking to the plan and attending to all my goals in a timely manner and not put it off til tomorrow.

My lowest habit is that I have trouble adjusting when something not planned comes up. I went to Dallas, TX two weekends ago for a concert. I had everything thing planned. I had my meal schedule set, my workouts planned at the hotel gym, and the itinerary for the weekend down. On a couple of days, the day of the concert and the day after the concert, my friends decided to go off the itinerary and I was thrown off. I missed a meal, ate a meal that was too high in calories, and had some alcoholic drinks. The way I plan to fix this is by talking to my friends and explain to them how important this is to me. I will explain that I need their help and support in sticking to an itinerary. I will also tell them that I will not go on a trip with them unless they can promise to do their best to be helpful and supportive.

My lowest level habit is that I am a people pleaser, I do not want to dissapoint others and when I do I get very upset. I don't know that this is such a bad thing, but it makes me feel that I always have to be perfect, and ya know I am far from perfect. So what I plan to do is the next time I make a mistake I will still own it but will not allow myself to beat myself up and feel like I let the whole world down.

I do preventative measures to help keep stress to a minimum. I plan my day, I stay organized and I exercise. Unfortunately, there's many situations that are out of my control and can cause stress in my life when I'm least expecting it. I LET STRESS CONSUME AND CONTROL ME WHAT I'M GOING TO DO ABOUT IT......When I feel the stress building I will do 3 things: 1. Remember God is right there with me 2. Pray for strength and guidance 3. Read my bible I have the following verses written down on 3X5 cards to help me through stressful times...... Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me Romans 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

My lowest level habit I think is procrastination. (I kept putting off coming back here to do this!) And the next one that is right next to that one is not planning. I have to plan! There are more... I just have to get in the mindset of "just do" and "do it now" with a lot of things. That is my plan. And another big part of my "plan" is to re-read a ton of stuff here this weekend. :) And cook some stuff for next week. And make a menu. And stick to the menu. And........ :)

My lowest level habits,first would be procrastination,when it comes to making time for myself.I always seem to find somthing else that needs to be taken care of.(Its ok I will get back to me soon enough)pretty soon,soon enough has past by.In all thats going better,Im getting better at making my self stop and eat at the right times.Second is I have had tabacco in my life for 34 years,in one way or another.I have tryed quiting but never really stayed focused.Good news is I am focused now,I am cutting down and have a quit date of 9/01/08 wish me luck,as I am kind of like a grizzly bear coming out of a long winters nap.I know its effecting all parts of my life and I must quit.

I am a little late responding. I have a lot low habits but this one seems to be prominent in my life. My lowest habit is self sabotaging my success. I have never felt worthy of success. I can be very desciplined and focused and when success starts happening I some how manage to ruin it. My step to change that habit is reading my goals every day, journalizing every night and praying. So when I start sabotaging my success I am very aware of it and I can stop it before it gets any further.

wow!what a great exercise. I thought I was doing good until I read this lesson. . and after reading everyone's comments, man, I don't want to be good, I want to be great! My worse habit is I also dislike paperwork (I feel your pain, Art).! I work out, I eat healthy, why should I have to journel it? Oh yea, I need to be accountable for greatness. As a nurse, our motto is "if it is not documented, it did not happen". Starting today I am going to try my best to make it happen. My first accomplishment was posting this comment, i am doing the paperwork because of your faithfulness, your motivation and your encouraging words I want to be great like ya'll. Peace out and God bless.

This was difficult for me because i thought of so many bad habits I couldn't tell which 0ne was the lowest level one. Procrastination is definitely one of them but even lower than that would be negative self-talk. To turn that into a positive, I am going to "catch" these thoughts as they come and turn them around and make positive statements out of them.

My lowest level habit is procrastination, I wait until the last minute to do everything! Even posting comments for the assignments had become something I avoided doing, even though I have been doing very well in the challenge. No longer, next week - I'll be the first one to post! (And maybe I'll even get the guts to put my before photos up there.)

My lowest habit is giving into fear. I am working out and eating well, but sometimes the fear of what's going to happen when I'm at my physical goal, noticing how people are treating me differently negative and positive. Are my friends going to still accept me, am I going to want to make other changes in my life because I feel empowered? Sometimes this creats in me a desire to go back to my old lazy comfortable ways "habits" that will let me be invisible and below the radar. Safe. I am working on overcoming this "comfort/fear" habit by keeping my faith strong - knowing that things happen for a reason and that when things change it is not always a bad thing. If friends no longer want me around they were not my friends. I am only getting better in all ways by doing this challenge and I appreciate Bills dedication and support for all of us. Michelle

What is the lowest level habit which is showing up in your daily life now which is holding your transformation back? That inner voice that keeps remaining me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed and that I could fail again. It shows up when I don’t want to get up the morning and workout. It shows up when I’m making healthy meals. It shows up when my daughter and granddaughter are depending on me. It makes an appearance at my job. It shows up when I’m feeling alone. It shows up when I have doubts about my church. That inner voice always makes an appearance at the right time. What am I going to do about it or have been doing? Get thee behind me Satan! And start singing His praises. I have surrounded myself with encouraging people and let go of the ones who say “Is it really worth all that?”

Oooops, my son just informed me that I need to start with #1.....lol. (kind of makes sense, why didn't I think of that...lol) Sorry about that. I thought I just had to plug in here, since I just joined. Newcomer's mistake!

My lowest habit is letting my inner voices getting the best of me. I know that sounds a little cooky, ha-ha, but I have learned that we are who we tell us to be. I can be in full swing with my work-out and eating habits, happy as a clam, just to let some negative incident throw me into a short-term depression. I then become this sad worrywort and...schwoops, gone is the work-out routine and in comes the junk food! Result: having to start all over again, which is connected with sore muscles and hunger pangs. So I procrastinate that part on top it. I hate that about myself so much! I hate the fact that I let other people's negativity get to me in such a way. I am pretty good at pulling myself back up by the scruff of my neck, however this roller coaster gets taxing on my system. Luckily I am already in the middle of fixing that problem. I have started studying EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which I am very eager to start. I will just tap away one negative thought after the other....haha....and become the happy and positive person that I want to be. I truly believe that negative emotions are the cause of disease. I lost my mother to it and am determined not to fall victim to it myself. My goal is to become an expert at getting rid of negativity and live by the motto: I feel good, I feel great!

Since starting the transformation, 8 weeks ago, I have undergone amazing physical changes. I frankly do not recognize my before picture and neither does my wife. In addition, with the support of the transformation team I started 12 step and look forward to helping others once I have completed the program (I have been sober for 86 days as of this post!!!). My current lowest habit is not applying what I have learned so far towards other areas of my life, in particular my career. Actions I am going to do in order to change one of my current lowest habits? As I see it the same process for obtaining health are implemented to change other areas of your life. For example, when I get up in the morning I plan my six meals (prepare and schedule eating times). Similarly, I will plan my work day with as much detail and effort as my meals. With my physical transformation I have a specific end goal, body weight and blood pressure. Likewise, with my career I need to set specific goals, I will make $50K from today until the end of the year. Finally, I need to be accountable. What is so great about transformation is that you have a clear start and end date. I need to do the same with my career goals by letting others know if my intent. Thanks again Bill!

My lowest habit is going to bed too late, which ruins everything the next day.this is interfering with my daily workouts... I wrote down my plan this am as to what time I need to be in bed w lights out, what time to wake up and time in gym, time in shower and time at work, so that I can get home from work in time to start the cycle off again, in a fine tuned, controlled & effective time line. Wow, thanks for this question!!

This has been the most difficult exercise yet for me. Not because I think I'm perfect and don't have any low-level habits. But when I ask what habit is stopping me from being successful at this transformation, I realize I am actually doing very well at it. So, can I do better? I realized that I am not a procrastinator because if I put it on my to do list, it gets done. And I put the important stuff on there. And because I am an IRS agent, my work affects people's lives, truly. So I am 110% focused and "there" when I am doing my job. I finally realized what was missing. A lack of commitment and/or passion about this. As I said on my profile, I am usually coasting. And I realized I am still doing it!! So I have recommited myself to log foods so I can be aware of what I am eating, how much and nutrient breakdown. I know it isn't necessary, but I know I need it to fire me up to do my best. I already log my exercise. So that is how I am going to improve and succeed in this transformation. I need to keep the information in front of me to keep myself off of autopilot. I need to be present, and I can only do that by keeping logs.

My lowest level habit is indulging in too many cocktails when I'm out with my friends. So much of my social life (especially living in a small town in the binge drinking capitol of the world) revolves around having drinks with people. (see assignement 7 for what I'm trying to do about it) Also, I need to clean my house.

Wow, I'm so glad I'm not the only planner. If I would follow through on just ONE of the weeks I've planned, I'd be a star! Maybe I overplan those weeks. Anyway, I'm going to plan a half a day at a time. Gym first of course. Here's to EXECUTION!!

Right now I’m working through the book of Acts, and I’m reading about the Holy Spirit stuff…. Man I could use some of that right now! I’m finding myself getting caught up in the negative things in life around me, things are busy and I find myself reacting rather than acting (not in food, workouts, or goals)…but in dealing with people. I’m just starting volunteer work as a big brother, so maybe that is the way of getting out of being negative, putting time in with others… I’ve never done that before in a volunteer way, so we’ll see. Anyone reading this- that does volunteer work, can you give me some good ideas that I could do (in volunteer work) besides being a big brother?

My lowest level habit is not being financially aware or responsible. When divvying up "chores" my husband became the one who manages our money. Not bad, but I have NO idea where it is going, what my FICA(?) score is or how to repair the years of damage I did to my credit. I AM aware of how this all ties in to my issues of food/weight. I was raised in a household that never had enough money, utilities were always being turned off, and this developed in me anxiety about money. From which I turned to food for comfort. This awareness has sparked a desire to become more financially responsible and that is my bottom line goal with this transformation. Money and food are connected, and once I begin to exercise control over both, I will be well on my way.

My lowest level habit is being overly critical of myself. Instead of seeing and enjoying the positive things I have done, I instead focus on the negative and am very harsh and critical of myself. I would never judge another person so harshly as aI judge myself.

My lowest level habit would be overplanning. I am too quick to "help" everyone else. I want to organize my friends house, clean their house, take care of children, be involved in every book study held at church, the list goes on and on. I am escaping from my life and living through other people. It is easier to take control of anothers life than my own. I plan all these things throughout the week and get overwhelmed with everything I have to do for other people and neglect myself. Don't get me wrong - I believe with all my heart I am here to serve others and be helpful, but I think I have been missing the point. Its quality not quantity. This is something that I am really interested in seeing how I will change this low level of my life. I feel like I am letting others down when i say No. Instead of saying I will do this or that for someone this coming week - I am going to kindly decline and really focus on why I feel I let people down when I say no. This is a huge breakthrough for me. WOW! I can't explain it in words but I knew there was something going on - I just couldn't put my finger on it. I hope everyone can focus on themselves this week for a little bit, and take time out for our "quiet time" - we are really no good serving/helping others when we are totally drained and running on empty.

My lowest level habit would be summarized as SELF LOATHING. It manifests itself when I go on day long binge on cheat day, when I overreact, or when I end up wasting an hour on some stupid adult website. The latter doesnt happen very much but I experience the most self hatred and disgust with myself when it does happen. Many people do not see it as an issue in our open minded society today, but I see it as a destructive, negative, and disrespectful practice. With Gods help I have come a long way, but It is a demon that pops back up occasionaly. How will I change it? I have to be more aware of my emotions and find a more constructive way of managing them.

My lowest level habits I need to overcome are procrastination(leave everything for tomorrow, lazy,t.v,computer,food(kids think so)I guess I am in denail ,be disorganizate(fail to plan )and also self-critize(bad -good). The anwer to overcome all my lowest habits is to TAKE ACTION ACT NOW. DO ALL WHAT I NEED TO DO, WHEN I NEED TO DO IT . Whit that action I am going transform all my weakness in strength.

I grumble to much... I grumble outloud... I grumble about the house when I'm cleaning... is that weird? LOL I'm not angry and I'm not complaining and I don't mind picking up the clutter of having a toddler or cleaning the kitchen etc... but when I do it... I grumble about it to myself. Big deal right? Well, I just realized that puts negative energy out there and if no one else hears it, I'm creating negative energy for myself! Not ot mention my family. Time to recognize it and stop the habit.

Hi :) I would have to say that my lowest level habbit would be what I call "agreeable insanity" such to the meaning of, when I wake up ,..there are a few things I know that I can change daily,..but seem to have ignored the responsibility of applying what information I have, into that daily circus of habitual destruction. I smoke, and last night, I did a back workout, and traps, for 2 hours, with heavy weight. Is the smoking holding me back from being able to lift the heavy weights?,..no,..is it holding me back from the longevity of my workout pattern?, nope,..but I suspect, that it is, or rather will be holding me back, if I do nothing about it. not to mention the fact that I will be able to buy all kinds of supplements with the money that I have left over. I have been a smoker for 11 years, and now it's time to quit. Finally. I know it will be easier said than done,...but after looking into the mirror after my 2 hour workout last night,..I SEE what it is I want,..and how far I've come with the work I've already done. Quitting will allow me to put the high octane into the fuel tank of THIS race car ;) If I goof up,..relapse,..or otherwise don't succeed,...I won't be beating myself up,..I will only re-attempt if necessary,...how ever long,..or how ever many times it takes. I need to do this,..FOR ME :) Good luck and much positivity towards everyone.

I guess my lowest level habit is not recording journals, and sometimes its hard, but I'm going to do a better job at journaling what I'm doing from eating to working out. I feel transformed, but can always do better, and will strive to be the best i can be.

My lowest habit is not getting the rest I need. The diet, the excercise have all become a part of my everyday life now and while I love that, I find that I do not get enough sleep. I try to get to bed by 9pm as I get up at 3am, but its hard. So like the new lifestyle I have brought into my life I will also bring more rest into my life...I am not sure how, but I will conquer this as I continue to conquer and become the person I know I can be.

One day at a time! Actively working on things, right here , right now. Thanks, Jineil

My lowest level habit is lack of planning. I'm going to start planning my day the night before.

And another thing ... my planning the day and then execution of it. I guess what I am saying is my lack of focus. My lowest level habit must be "Easily Distracted". That's it, Wow. So as I writing I am already figuring on my next step. Which is FOCUS HARDER, and don't stop! Thank you for letting me think here. Mark

I wish I could think of just one "lowest level habit" instead of ten! That must be it: focusing on the negative! I had no idea how negative I was until I married an optimist, a man who sings in the morning. He seems to be so naturally like that - a cheerful, happy, peace-filled person - that it is hard for me to believe that I can change when I seem "by nature" to be melancholy, anxious, pessimistic. But being the way I am isn't helping me, by any means. I want to be like Neil - I want the peace and self-confidence that he has. And the only way I know to do that is to start practising it. I've had a lifetime of practising negativity, so I'm real good at that. Now it's time to practise optimism, positive thoughts, and faith. Faith that I am capable of change, of transformation.

My lowest level habit is not planning my meals and consequently eating things that do not support my goals. I am going to begin planning my meals.

My lowest level habit is making lame excuses and saying I will make it up the next day. I tend to use the usual "I am too tired, busy, this or that hurts etc... I am also a big fan of eating something that wasn't plan and telling myself that I will just do better tomorrow and lacking the true committment to myself to do it today. I plan to keep reading my goals and intentions every morning and giving myself the credit when they are accomplished to stay positive instead of making the negative excuses that keep the positive focus at bay.

I tend to be a procrastinator, To combat this behavior I try to plan, but sometimes my follow through isnt so great. But I will continue to plan and try to not put things off

My lowest-level habit is "rewarding" myself with self-destructive behaviors like eating junk food because "I've been so good, deserve it" or skipping a workout because I've "earned" a day off after being so consistent. Why is it I sometimes bellieve that treating myself poorly is a "reward" for treating myself in healthy ways? Lowest level indeed...

My lowest level habit is negativity while not being consistent in my workouts and eating. I usually am positive but I just feel I am never going to make my goal weight! even with losing over 70+ pounds so far, I have 50 more to go and I feel it is going to be endless. I plan on turning the corner and staying positive and know that this transformation is going to help me tremendously! Reading everyone's responses makes me feel so much better b/c I know that I am not alone and I can relate to so many responses. Thanks Bill!

My lowest level habit is starting to many projects. As a kid I had ADD. My minds is always working. I have triouble shutting it down. I get a milion things going in my head and if I'm not careful I get a million things going at one time. If there is one thing that could impact my transformation it would be allowing this bad habit to interfer with my transformation. I need to stay focused. Keep a plan and work the plan. I can still have my projects but I need to take care to complete each task before I wonder into another one. To some this may seem to be an easy task but for me it is very difficult. As an example, I'm currently working this transformation. IMy overall health I have made number one but at the same time I'm currently remodeling the interior of my sailboat, going to school, surfing on the weekends when I'm not sailing or running a 5K or going for a bike ride with my wife. Bottom-line is that I need to stay focused on what's important. To make this weakness a strength I will pay more attention to the plan, spend time to organize my thoughts and not allow my focus to wonder. I have been writing things down and prioritizing the list. If it doesn't support my new environment I let it go. I'm moving forward and working the plan. The transformation challenge is helping me apply a plan more directly. Planning is the greatest tool.

NUMBER ONE:Like most of us-----PROCRASTINATION.I put off a lot of things.Even my workouts and planning my meals.As a writer my writing diary is filled with ideas daily but are my food logs??My workout logs?? NOOOO!!!!!! What am I going to do about it?? Plan my meals and workouts so that I can effectively execute them.My Number 2:Reading my Bible daily.This didn't use to be a chore.As a Christian,I will read His word and find out what His plan is for me.THANKS BILL.Rusty

My lowest level habit is negativity. Part of changing this is changing my environment at work. I've just accepted a new job!

I am noticing a lot of things coming up for "review and revision"....Last week my daughter came home with a large bag of gourmet potato chips which I love. I now accept that they are dangerous in my hands. I carried them to the cupboard managing to quietly open the top and eat a few in the journey. My daughter came into the room and said "MOM! You're cheating!" Embarrassed of being caught in the act, I said, "No I'm not, I'm just putting them away." It was a lie. The next day I went to her and admitted I lied, that I ate some. She said she wasn't worried, that I'm the boss of me. But I told her when I lied to her I affected the integrity of our relationship, even if she didn't know I lied. We also talked about the chips being too big a temptation for me, and she put them somewhere that I wouldn't see them. This is just one example of the many things I am noticing. I guess it is integrity...wanting my thoughts words and actions to align. If they're not, I'm lying to myself or someone else, simple as that.

My “lowest-level” habit is my inability to overcome fear/dread as quickly as I should. I believe a big part of fear comes from the fact that I want to perform perfectly. Well, I need to get over it and come to the realization that no one is perfect and it’s holding me back from making great progress. When I don’t address my fears immediately it results in a lack of focus and procrastination at times. I’ve noticed recently I’ve experienced much more fear and dread then I typically do, and I believe that’s because I’m really forcing myself to grow personally and professionally. I really need to look at fear/dread as a positive sign of growth. I know I can do so much better in this area if I train myself to immediately recognize fear as it arises and create a mindset to overcome it. Action really is the only thing that alleviates or reduces subsides fear. I’ll begin with tasks that are routine (that I don’t look forward to) and approach the task at hand aggressively. For example, I’ll designate time to tackle a project that I’m dreading, do my best to remove any distractions that may prevent me from accomplishing the task and assign a time frame in which this needs to be completed by. When I successfully complete the job at hand…I need to remind myself of the benefits (higher productivity, how my energy is better served “doing it afraid” then wasting my energy worrying about it , and as a result… a greater sense of peace and satisfaction). I can also establish a reward system to reinforce my positive behavior. For example, when I accomplish these tasks, I’ll have an hour to work on a project that I’m really looking forward to doing. I’ll have to consciously and diligently repeat this systematic approach on a daily basis (addressing smaller, less fear producing jobs to larger, more fear producing tasks) until addressing and overcoming my fear quickly becomes habitual. Review: 1. Recognize fear 2. Designate time to focus on project, establish time line to accomplish task, remove as many distractions as possible 3. Remind myself of the benefits and reward myself by allowing me to use the time I saved by working on a project I’m looking forward to working on (if my priorities allow me to do this).

For me, my lowest habit is a very poor self-image, and great difficulty controlling my own thoughts. I have allowed personal shortcomings to become the defining attributes by which I estimate my worth, and I am plagued by negative thoughts and emotions. Even on good days I feel like a loser, and don't even get me started about my bad days! This has been a problem for several years. To combat this I am having to constantly remind myself of things about me that are objectively true and positive. Basically I'm having to teach myself how to like myself, and yes, it's as difficult as it sounds. But on the positive side I am achieving important goals I set for myself, and I am slowly getting better at reminding myself of positive attributes whenever the negativity storm hits. Every day brings new challenges.

What is the lowest level habit which is showing up in your daily life now which is holding your transformation back?How are you going to transform that weakness into a strength? Without a doubt my lowest level habit would absolutely have to be procrastination. I feel as though my world is so hectic and that there is no time in the day for me to complete minimal task, yet I can watch T.V. for a half an hour or so and forget about those tasks. I have all these books I want to read and I don't because I procrastinate. The way I am going to change this low level habit is by doing it now. I will use every effort to get up and do it now rather then later. I will begin reading some of those books and cut out the television. Thank you Bill, this is a wake up call....again.

The lowest level habit that is holding my transformation back is complaining and the justification of eating the wrong dead foods. I tell myself it is ok or I don’t care. I am comfortable being stuck. I listen to the negative thoughts over and over again. I plan to eat junk later in the day I give in without a real fight or turning it over. I know what to do I choose not to do it. My negative voice has become my thinking Wow what a eye opening assignment Thanks Bill I will choose life I will fight for my Soul Mind and Body With the help of Christ and all of you I will listen to the holy spirit and renew my mind and do this one day at a time I don’t know what it is about doing this exercise but right now I feel FREE THANK YOU

wow. i have quite a few things working against my success here...overall i think it is a time management problem. i have to use my time better. i have 24 hours, just like everyone else. people have very busy jobs and still accomplish great things...i can arrange my time better and accomplish great things too. yes, i am guilty of procrastination, anxiety, fears of all sizes and shapes, serving others as a way to sacrifice my self and goals. what can i do to change it? make a daily plan and prioritize the items and put MY Goals on the top...and be able to say "no" to others when it truly "doesnt work for me" making a list of positives and goals is a good thing... (and limiting my time on the computer would be a GREAT start!!)

Aloha Bill – My lowest habit is one I have been trying to do something about for years. My daughter continually tells me “Work to Live – don’t Live to Work” I have a tendency to work myself into the ground – forgetting to eat (no time) – no time for exercise – free time JUST TOO TIRED for fun. Four years ago I did BFL and looked fabulous and felt even BETTER, and then I fell into that same old trap. Because Maui is a tourist – service based economy, I am being FORCED into changing my way – it is good because the focus on the transformation is helping – I am seeing a change now – I cannot lose sight of the fact I don’t have to work every minute of my waking hour.

My lowest habit is fear of failing. I am a single mom going to med school full time and working 35 hrs a week on top of that. I guess I am so worried about failing my goals to get healthier than I am not even trying. In all reality, I guess it is better to fail than not try at all. Thank you all for sharing with me. Your honesty is what makes this place so special

Lowest level habit eh? This is a funny assignment for me (not funny in the ha ha sense, funny in the "wow, if my life gets any more ironic im going to turn into alanis morissette" kind of sense). I spend alot of time "working" on myself. I am very "aware" of my character defects. I am also very "aware" as to how often I use "quotation" marks to make my point "(!)". Seriously, I beat myself up quite a bit and disguise it as self improvement. While that is certainly a low level habit, I think my lowest level habit is not appreciating where Im at, when Im there. This makes me crazy, ungrateful, and disconnected. I want to each moment of my life, not freak out about the moment that just passed or the moment that hasnt come yet. Turning this weakness into a strength? Getting humble, getting grateful, turning my will over to a power greater than myself (step 3 you recovering people out there), and living just for today. A gratitude list will help. Thanks for the assignment Bill. "chris"

I am actually surprised as how I am not the only one stating procrastination as my lowest level habit. The fact is it has progressively gotten worse in many areas of my life, but not all. I don't know how I actually get away with it but it is toxic and makes me feel like a failure in some ways because I know if I hadn't put things off I could have done it better. I wish I had the "procrastination police" on my shoulder to catch me in the act but I suppose that is why this is such a great assignment. I need to be watchful of my one behavior and take ownership of what needs to be changed. BE the change. Thanks Bill.

My lowest level habit is allowing anxiety and panic to rule my consciousness. I used to think it was "something else"..anything else really - depression, sefl-doubt, lack of confidence, self hatred, even bad luck. But all along is was anxiety. Anxiety sapped my strength, caused me to doubt, stole my confidence, "made me" hate myself and set my "thermostat" to "average" because "amazing" was too unsafe. What am I going to do? EVERYTHING!! I'm going to work this plan, get & give support, learn new thougths, read enlightening material, see a therapist, meditate, pray, WHATEVER IT TAKES. That's why I'm here. thanx for creating the space...and for all the beautiful people that filled it....CJ

My lowest level habit is that I often don't use a direct approach when dealing with issues that are controversial. It stays in my mind and then becomes a problem with self chatter. Through studying positive material I'm learning to change the way I think of things and be more accepting of others. I am practicing keeping my mind clear and free of these negatives by taking the time to NOT react in fear but respond with honesty. Conflict can be used as a tool and I don't really need to hide!! :) Thanks for this Lesson Bill, my list was pretty long and I had to pick wisely!

Fear. Deep down inside, actually not so deep, I have a lot of fear. Fear of people, fear of so many things. I read spiritual books which seem to help. Right now, this may be an excuse but I am very afraid of the surgery I'm about to have, yet I tell myself I have every right to be fearful. However, I must not let it run my life, presently, which is difficult. I pray a lot, I'm a spiritual person not a religious person for various reasons. I have a support group whom I share my fears with which seems to help. Talking about it and not keeping it bottled up inside seems to help.

It seems as if I'm on the "Band Wagon" with a lot of others. IE: My lowest-level habit is PROCRASTINATION. I have been making progress on overcoming this with help from some of my dear friends. I've decided to put up big signs all over my house that say, "JUST DO IT!"

My lowest level of habit is not getting enough sleep and enough water. Adequate sleep is hard for me to squeeze in until my body stops me cold and says, "that's enough Kelly, I need more sleep NOW!" And then I usually sleep for about 9 hours. I know that 7.5 hours is my optimal sleep. Not too much, not to little, just right. Now I need to make sure lights out at 10 PM. JUST DO IT! Ya know...

My lowest level habit has nothing to do with the physical, its the spiritual. I always start my week after church on Sunday full of such a wonderful spiritual energy, thinking of spending some time during the week listening to Joyce Meyer, taping TD Jakes to watch at night, or just reading/studying the Bible myself. But guess what happens? Work, workout and all the other things I spend my time doing- gets in the way. Then I find by next Saturday, I am spiritually drained and looking forward to Sunday morning again. Good intentions dont make one strong. How can I transform this weakness into a strength? Admitting it must be the first step......

Complaining. And by complaining I am indirectly criticizing my wife and kids. I am still forming a plan about what to do about it because until today I did not really notice it. Now I would say it is my number one fault. I guess I will start with noticing when I complain and writing it down. (I will have speak with my wife and kids and ask them to point it out if I criticize them) Then I will have to look at the expectation I had that was not met. Then I will either change my expectation or try and work in a more productive way with my family. Maybe this will be a good way to start some type of family meeting about what expectations we have of each other. Hmmmm. I am not looking forward to this one but I will vent out those reasons in a BLOG later. That will help me think about it more also.

My lowest habit has always been that I allow what others think of me to dictate my direction in life. I lost 140 lbs. on BFL and 100 of it was in 11 wks! I worked really hard on myself but then allowed family members to take it away from me. Now that I've gained 30 lbs. back, it's time to stop allowing what others say about me go straight to my waist line! I refuse to get fat just so they can feel better about what they see in their own mirrors. We are also sitting down each night and planning everything we are going to do the next day so the day just doesn't waste away with nothing being accomplished.

Lowest level habit---giving up. I was doing so well first 2 weeks, then got bronchitis--exercise stopped and then tasty, naugty snacks crept in when feeling sorry for myself. But the next day waking up feeling depressed--i've only let myself down. SOOOOO my lifesaver-- my niece has just joined the same gym and together we can support and encourage each other. I'm feeling better so i don't need to comfort eat any more. I will not give up.!!

Ahhh! I have many.... I think the most crutial is procractination.. and lack of planning. I seem to forget on a daily basis that I am in the midst of a transformation, and how easy it is to just go back to my old ways. I get side tracked so easy or I feel that it is just easier to be lazy and complain about it. I have goals for about two weeks then they just sort of blend in and are forgotten about. How can I stay on track for once in my life?

I don't even know how to explain this. Um, my husband has a brain injury that causes some erratic and unpredictable behaviors in him that are increasing with age (he's only 45). He normally is a kind and gentle guy, but his disability sometimes pushes him to the point that he is downright mean and even a little scary. We are working on finding ways for the whole family to cope, but I have to admit that my lowest habit is allowing my husband's situation to pull me down and sometimes even make me feel sorry for myself. I really am a pretty positive person and a loving caregiver to my family, but I often cave into negativity and a doubt when my husband is out of sorts. I am already taking action to become better at dealing with this. First, I must take time every day to focus on the great many blessings I have in my life, on the goodness of the Father, on the health of my family. Next, I will do all I can to make myself stronger and healthier by eating right, working out, and getting enough sleep so that I can be as strong as I need to be. Another thing I will do is to spend my time filling the lives of others with good in order that my own heart will be light and more quick to bounce back when the unpredictable hard times hit. Working on making myself better at every level will help me to be strong.

My lowest level (remaining) habit is the fact that I have weak follow-through. I'm a wonderful planner, list-maker, but I look at the piles of what needs to be done and often get discouraged, instead of breaking down what needs to be done into little pieces, I tend to look at the whole and feel overwhelmed. Dianne Orwig, when we met, said it's great to have plans & lists, but you need to fill in the chart as to when you're gonna do what - at first I thought - OH PLEASE, you gotta be kidding - but, I know she's right! To change this, I will specifically list what I'm gonna do and when, and not let the sunset on the day until I have accomplished it. One other thing I think I tend to do is NOT set the bar high enough for myself. My husband is a USCG certified captain and a couple of years back I wanted to really learn how to sail as well. When I picked up the phone to schedule, I found there were not offering a single course, they were offering a 3-course combo (skills and book knowledge) spread out over 5 days - and what's more-the course was scheduled to be held in 5 weeks! Before I could change my mind, I signed up . . . later thinking “what the heck have I gotten myself into?” I'll never be able to absorb all that info in that short amount of time. As I drove out of the Camachee Cove Marina that Sunday afternoon, having scored highest in the class, tears were running down my face and my heart swelled with pride in having accomplished such a worthy goal in such a short amount of time. I’m gonna revisit my Goals for this Transformation, ending, for me, on Halloween, and see if I can’t raise the bar a bit more. Thank you SO for yet another opportunity to look within. With Love - Terrie

First and formost, I took my B4 pic and did the exercises that were supposed to be done with it in like a "flash" type of time. Bill, Thank you so much for stating the figure of the members that have yet to do exercise # 1, I guess I am not as bad as I think I am, this is definitely a psychological boost, I tend to mentally think I am worthless and among the lasts. This exercise is going to take more time to fully execute, but I am suspecting that, at least, one of my lower self habits consists of constantly isolating myself and then turning around and accusing others of being the ones that do LOL. this is not funny and I need to stop doing it. I believe the one way that can be resolved is for me to stop being accusatory and self centered and start being friendly and selfless. I don't claim this going to be all of the solution but it's a start. My Highest Regards,

I have 2. The first is not planning. I've set three week goals and daily tasks but the lack of planning WHEN I will do them leaves some of them undone. I will start looking at my list the day before and rearranging things that won't work for that day because it was planned 3 weeks ago and is no long viable and find a replacement task for the day so I can always reset expectations. The second thing that stops me is time. Not going to bed early enough, not getting up early enough, working too many hours. I don't manage my days well enough to "fit it all in". For both of these things, I'm going to start using a planner and start tracking how long it took to do things so I know where I'm "losing" time and so I can plan my days better to fit more in :D Thank you!

This is going to be a difficult thing for me to type as I have been trying my best to look forward and not back. But, the honest answer is that my lowest habit energy is life loathing. I am not a happy guy. Sometimes it gets so bad that I wonder about stepping off the curb in front of a bus. What I am doing daily now to combat this, is to help others, greet people here, and to not look back as much as I can. I could easily despair in my blog, but I have done that. I simple want to be happy and loved. I am also surrounding myself with little motivational reminders that life does not have to be like this, that there is a choice, and that I will not feel like I do forever. Hows that for honesty?

My lowest level habit had been critisizing myself. I have been reading positive books but I didn't know HOW to change it. I have come to the understanding that I do not need to always know the HOW to change it but I need to be willing to change. I now repeat to myself I am willing to change... or I am willing to release the need for..... and the HOW'S will come into place. I was not open before. Now that I am open, good can come in. I hope you all have a fun-filled day. Smile lots!!

Yeah...you can add me to the Procrastination list! I think procrastination is just making excuses to cover your fears... I think it was a training from Tony Robbins where I learned the concept that human beings bascially have only two motivations for doing anything and they are to either get pleasure or avoid pain. Only when we realize that avoiding the things we need to do is going to cause more pain than doing them and when the promise of the reward (pleasure) becomes stronger than the perceived pain will we make the changes we need to make to achieve our goals and complete our transformation!!! Allison M. Saad

My lowest habits are procrastination, failing to plan and not following through. I need to get past these habits that hold me back and make permanent changes and not look back. I will only use positive self talk and get myself over these bad habits and form good habits. I know I am worth it. I will finish this transformation and I will BE THE CHANGE. I do want to use my life as a role model to others to show that through hard work and dedication anything is possible.

Procrastination and apathy (laziness) are my lowest level habits. I get too lazy to write a plan for the next day and then I too often fail at "winging it". I procrastinate about the assignments given here and I procrastinate about other projects that I know I should just do and be done with them already. How will I transform the weakness into a strength? - By planning better and setting goals with deadlines to get them accomplished. By keeping a journal to plan and log my meal plan and workouts. Thanks, Paul :<)

Whoa Bill, how timely! Here's my lowest habit: failing to plan!!! You know what they say.."Fail to plan, plan to fail!" I never plan out what I'm eating or my workout until the morning of. Even then, I don't write it down and I even sometimes make it up as I go. NO MORE!!! I need to take this assignment to heart. I will sit down tonight and plan out the rest of the week! I will then sit down on Sunday nights and plan the rest of my weeks a week in advance. This will be my new habit!

One lowest habit would be procrastination...I tend to put things off which I hate doing!! It is a horrible habit and only causes me frustration and stress. Another one would be overscheduling and having a problem saying no to things. Lastly low habit I feel I really need to work on is better ways of dealing with my kids and being better respected by them. I am very laid back & easy going but when I feel taken advantage of or not listened to I sometimes will lose my cool and I don't like that one bit about me. I know it is human for everyone to get upset from time to time (and it is very occasional for me) but I don't like the way it FEELS in me when I get upset. It feels toxic and a habit I would like to destroy.

My biggest weaknesses are impatience and procastination. I have been working on these though. I do not like that i am weak in these areas and would like them to become my strengths. Meditation seems to help somewhat. ~Holly

My 2 lowest of low level habits would be impatience( I want it now!) which I need to work on and confidence in myself, which leads me to not achieve the goals I strive for before of lack of confidence. I hope to break new ground in overcoming these areas so I can move and progress forward. Troy

One of my low level defects is blaming other for my shortcomings and pointing the finger at others. "No owning up to myself. And also trying to fix other people"

Here it goes...lowest level would be lack of self-esteem. To my friends and family that would come as a shock. Friends tell me that I should write a book and that they live vicariously through my life as I am the one hiking across the Grand Canyon, selected as an alternate for Survivor, have daily adventures as an archaeologist... Problem is...as a little girl and during middle school my friends were all dancers and cheerleaders, etc., so I was always bigger than they were...felt like I just towered over them. Did not realize until I was an adult looking back at some pix that I was the normal-sized k