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SABOTAGE

Today I went to my Tuesday with Sharon feeling broken. I've been doing great. I've lost 11 pounds and today is my 1 year anniversary of sobriety. Through talking and listening with her, she pointed out some really good points. It all comes down to one little word. A tiny word really.... it is not that long only 8 letters. SABOTAGE. Why? I ask myself time and time again when I start t...

March 2, 2010 | comments (0) | 2010 Transformation

Woke Up Out of a Dead Sleep Terrified.

I have no idea why? I don't remember my dream, but I just awoke out of a dead sleep and I had a heart beat going as if I were being chased down by an ax murderer. I know I get that way when I have a seizure sometimes. I wake up from it and my heart is beating so hard but I am lethargic. There is nothing lethargic about me right now ... I am wide awake roaming around the site looking at blogs and getting a little motivation...

February 20, 2010 | comments (3) | Uncategorized

When is This Challenge Really Over?

I have read a few blogs where people are down and out because they stepped away from their path they intended to be on. It brings me to this conclusion. Don't fret. I know it seems like, "Oh, I threw away a day, a week, two weeks, etc." Life is a challenge and it is never ending. Yes, you may lay the torch down for a moment and be wound up in life's crisis, but you do not lay the torch down forever. The minute ...

February 18, 2010 | comments (5) | 2010 Transformation

365 Days of Celebration

Thank you EVERYONE who is stopping by and wishing me a Happy Birthday. It truly means a lot. Celebrating was never my focus of this day, So Today I have to think long and hard about what I am going to do to celebrate my life. Have a great day today everyone meeting your goals. Make it your best day ever. Diana...

February 17, 2010 | comments (0) | Uncategorized

Assignment #6

Positive Mindset -- Assignment #6Three Examples of uncertain thoughts I have experienced so far in this challenge process which have caused me delay or to procrastinate are:I have such desires to succeed and the situations that put me in an unrest or procrastinated state of being are fear of success, I have so much to do how can I fit myself in and me really?My fear of success is a biggie. It is this nagging voice that says you could do this, but...

February 16, 2010 | comments (0) | 2010 Transformation

Assignment Number 5

Assignment #5 Worksheet: The Community Connection Three people I can count on for unconditional, nonjudgmental support throughout my Transformation are: 1. Sharon2. Betty3. Coach StoneySomeone I can call at 3:00 am if I need to talk or share something which is weighing on my heart is: BettySomeone who is working to achieve their transformation goals whom I can count on to keep me accountable, in a caring and respectful way, and encourage me t...

February 16, 2010 | comments (1) | 2010 Transformation

Awakening

Hello all! Today has been a day of awakening. As I do this challenge and I get the support I need my eyes become more and more open to a life that I can really have. Tomorrow is my birthday. I never have celebrated my life. Yes, I got the cake, yes, I shared with my children, but I never celebrated my life. I have always felt that it wasn't worth anything and inadvertantly by doing that I rubbed that part off on those I loved. You see, you teach ...

February 16, 2010 | comments (0) | January Challenge -- MODAAT

OH TO BE ALIVE

I feel like I have been gone forever. I had a wonderful day at our meet-and-greet. Met some wonderful new transformers as well as able to catch up with some oldies. Rich you blew me away, you've made such great-great changes in your life and you were wonderful to Paul. Thanks so much. I took Paul to a birthday party where every child had a sniffle and cough. That night I awoke with chills and for the past four ...

February 10, 2010 | comments (0) | 2010 Transformation

I Am Losing It

Well, thus far I can say I have officially shed eight pounds. Okay, so that is gone. I'm gaining a new spirit and different outlook and it is happening one grain of sand at a time. I am collecting my important rocks to fill my jar and I feel really good about it. Yesterday I was quite tired so I could not stay up to listen to radio show. I am going to do it this afternoon and then listen again to Assignment 5.We are ...

February 5, 2010 | comments (3) | Uncategorized

I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT

A while back, I went to the gym and did a good workout with my Nike plus armband on. The little piece that is a "jump drive" recording all my activity flipped out of the armband. I hadn't noticed. Diana's old attitude would have sat and festered about it. Run out and put myself in hock because I had to have it back. The new Diana attitude said, well, if God wants me to have it, it will show. I had to let it go....

February 4, 2010 | comments (2) | 2010 Transformation

T E A M W O R K

When we all work together, we all win together. Hope all of you are having an excellent day today making it your best ever. We are having some winter snow again and it is beautiful today as it is fresh and clean and white sparkles on the ground. Just like my attitude. We just have to be careful as to not muddy up our minds with past events that pull our minds away from our goals! Today's plan: stay focused ...

February 2, 2010 | comments (0) | 2010 Transformation

Outside Activity

Yesterday, I walked close to 7 miles outside in the cold. When I started off I was warm, excited and revvvvved to go. By the time I ended.... I was cold to the bone, wondering what the heck I was thinking. Isn't it just like that? We start a project and we are going along in the beginning it is so new it is exciting. Then we get halfway, we get a little tired, life starts to push us in all sorts of directions and the...

February 1, 2010 | comments (2) | 2010 Transformation

A New Day ...

Wow, last night I was not well. I woke up and my body was rejecting whatever I fed it the night before. Turkey tacos. Remember that, you don't want me making you those. I don't know what was really making me ill. But I noticed something ... Usually I would be upset, whining in my mind about what I have to do the next day. I'd be having these moments of OH WHY ME? I didn't. Yesterday, I redid my bed....

January 29, 2010 | comments (3) | 2010 Transformation

The Big Forgive

Assignment #4 Worksheet: The Big Forgive [fter careful consideration, The Big Hurt and the offender involved, whom I still hold a resentment towards can be described as[: The one I considered the big offender in my life can be described as weak, hurtful, undesireable, a burden and toxic. Two emotions I feel when I hold the offense in mind are: SadnessShame Any way that holding this resentment benefits my health and happiness is: NONETwo feelings ...

January 26, 2010 | comments (4) | 2010 Transformation

Morning Day 23

I haven't felt this much relief in a long time. A relief of guilt and shame. I have thought long and hard about Assignment Four. Which one person will I forgive. As I milled it over and over again in my mind, only one person kept coming up that person is ... You'll see soon. I have to go to a training session with my son (he's 12 so he gets to use equipment at the gym and he is beyond excited) so I will go. I a...

January 26, 2010 | comments (2) | 2010 Transformation

Morning Day 22

Starting my day out as a champion of my life. What I am looking forward to: A good day of school with Paul DoneA good Big Book Meeting ExcellentAn hour of de-cluttering (I am doing this every day until my home is peaceful to me) DidA workout with Paul at YMCA Excellent aside from losing my nike plus monitor for my armband. UGHHHHHH!!! Maybe someone will find it. There is a 60 dollar mistake.&nb...

January 25, 2010 | comments (0) | 2010 Transformation

Assignment 3

I sat down today to listen to Assignment 3. EVERYTHING that I have been working on in the last 5 weeks has been address in this program. I want to lose 70lbs of weight. But what is heavier on me, and I wrote about in a diary a week ago, Stoney mentioned tonight … Spiritual weight, emotional weight is so much heavier. My lowest level habit is one that was learned many, many years ago and was learned as a survival mec...

January 24, 2010 | comments (1) | 2010 Transformation

If at first you don't succeed ...

Try Try Again... I know there is a poem that goes like that. Today is a rough one and it is only 6:22 am. We have changed my meds for seizures. I felt fine yesterday, in fact I thought "no side effects"?! I didn't sleep last night because my body covered itsself in a rash. Every nerve is on fire. I've put lotion after lotion on and it is still an angry rash. Pill or seizure, rash or seizure, ano...

January 21, 2010 | comments (1) | Uncategorized

Assignment Number Two

The environment chat, especially referral to what people will do in two different places, turned on a great big light bulb.Three People Who I Can Count on To Help me through this Transformation Step Are:1. My Sponsor Betty2. My Counselor Sharon3. My Team Leader StoneyAlong with those three people, I am also going to be able to count on the Transformation Groups I am involved in. Three People Who May Not Support Me Are:1. My Father (always giving ...

January 19, 2010 | comments (2) | 2010 Transformation

Morning All

Today is an excellent morning. My body should be holding water right now. I know we talked about that scale and how we need not get on it every day etc. I woke up today to see how much water retention I would have ... and with eating right, doing my exercising and drinking lots of water, I am down two pounds. I stepped off and got back on, yep two pounds? How can that be. As females go at this time I shoul...

January 15, 2010 | comments (0) | 2010 Transformation

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