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My mantra...

First of all, GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU for your kind words and your encouraging support!  I am overwhelmed by your outpouring of your help and your spirit and I am truly grateful to have you in my life.It is time to be who I was ment to be.  It is time to become that person I know is inside.  Many of you have suggested looking at life positively, using mantras, etc... I think this must be my first step back into the light. Hummdinger t...

October 3, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Let's find out why...

Thank you to everyone for your love and support!  I'm still binging...today's binge?  2 egg mcMuffins, a hashbrown and an order of cinamelts.  I'm hiding my food.  I'm binging and hiding.  I've been sneaking these breakfasts on my business credit card so that my husband won't see it.  I'm listening to all those negative messages again...the ones we wrote in our assignment 1.  It feels so hopeless today.  I ...

October 3, 2008 | comments (6) | Mental Transformation

I'm so ashamed...please help...

I am so ashamed of myself.I've not worked out in 4 weeks.  I can start to feel the pains I used to feel before I started working out.  I'm hurting again.I've binge-eaten every day - eating crap that is hurting me.  Do any of you know this feeling?  You walk into the kitchen at work...see the Dunkin' Donuts box.  You listen hard and peek to see if anyone is around the corner...you open the box...full of donuts.  You t...

September 26, 2008 | comments (12) | Mental Transformation

Back in the saddle again...

Hey everyone - I've been gone for a while - I fell off the wagon on purpose.  I needed a break and so did my body.  But, I'm happy to report that in this break I didn't gain back one pound.So - today I ran week 4 of the couch to 5K program for the first time.  I ran (2) intervals of the following:  Run 3 minutes - Walk 90 sec - Run 5 minutes - Walk 2 1/2 minutes.  I was so scared...honestly scared that I'd suck wind...sca...

September 5, 2008 | comments (7) | Mental Transformation

Thanks for the help today God!

Woke up this morning - 5am on the alarm clock.  Turned to my hubby and asked him where my workout clothes were?  He said they were in the washer....GREAT....so I resigned to BLOWING OFF my workout this morning.  I walked down stairs and started a pot of coffee and turned on a movie, "The Nativity Story".  As I got my cup of coffee in my depressed state, I glanced at the kitchen clock...it said 4:15 am.  WHAT?&nb...

August 25, 2008 | comments (6) | Mental Transformation

GOAL #3 - COMPLETE!!!!

Well - no pictures to commemorate the moment, but I achieved my 3rd goal today!  Wish I could have taken a shot, but hard to do when you are riding :)  Maybe DH got a shot off sitting w/ our 2 yr old..I'll have to see...  Goal:  To go to the amusement park and ride the roller coaster w/ my son.  DONE!!!! You know...I sat in the seat and prayed.  This ride had an "excessive size" restriction.  I d...

August 23, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Wow....I had forgotten...

I finally decided to get my wedding dress picture up online for you all to see.  WOW - this was almost 11 years ago!  I had almost forgotten how SKINNY I was!  Although, at the time I thought I was a fat pig.  Now I CAN'T WAIT to be that size again!  It's funny how life works.  Little did I know that only 1 year after that picture was taken I would be pregnant and over 300 pounds.  Sobering to look at actually.M...

August 22, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm...

Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm....Oh my gosh...how many times did my voice teacher go over and over this vocal exercise phrase with me when I was younger???  You would have thought that it would have embedded in my brain!  But...I forgot it until now.Last night I took my kids to the park after dinner and ran around with them.  Funny little story here...  My 10 yr old thinks he's hot stuff.  So, when Mom...

August 20, 2008 | comments (0) | Mental Transformation

Transformation Day 38

Wake time: 5:00√ Couch to 5K - week 3 : DONE√ Breakfast (8:00) : Egg, ff cheddar & tortilla√ 50 oz water jug filled and currently at my desk GOALSGoal weight:  230  (257/265)√  Goal to run - ACHIEVEDGoal: Fit into a size 20 - Current size 24 - but getting looser!√  Goal:  To ride up to the White Hen w/ my 10 yr old - ACHIEVEDGoal:  Fit into my wedding dress I wore over 11 years ...

August 20, 2008 | comments (0) | Mental Transformation

Being the change...

First of all...THANK YOU AND BLESS ALL OF YOU who have took some time to pray for my husband's Nana (grandma).  She had a massive stroke on Friday and her whole left side is paralyzed.  Well...more bad news...she failed the swallowing test, so Nana will never get to eat again.  She will be given a feeding tube and, because we are only 4 days past the stroke, we need to wait another 3 days before we can determine what quality of lif...

August 19, 2008 | comments (4) | Mental Transformation

Transformation Day 36

Wake time: 5:00√ UBWO tonight with hubby√ Breakfast (8:00) : Egg, ff cheddar & tortilla√ 50 oz water jug filled and currently at my desk GOALSGoal weight:  230  (259/265)√  Goal to run - ACHIEVEDGoal: Fit into a size 20 - Current size 24 - but getting looser!√  Goal:  To ride up to the White Hen w/ my 10 yr old - ACHIEVEDGoal:  Fit into my wedding dress I wore over 11 years ago ...

August 18, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Tonight is the night

Last night I led an hour long nature hike for my son's Cub Scout pack.  I never realized how many steep hills there were on this hike!  Feeling REALLY sore this morning...more in my left ankle than anything.  Before I started the hike it was slightly bothering me but now it's really bothering me.  Taking today off for cardio.Tonight I begin lifting weights with my husband.  Should be interesting considering we are fightin...

August 14, 2008 | comments (0) | Mental Transformation

Why can't I do this?

Why can't I get into weight lifting? Feeling a groove beginning.  I wake up most ever morning, meditate for 15 min while the coffee is brewing and do my 5K training.  Come home, shower, ready for work, cook my breakfast to go and pack my nutrition for the day and off to work I go.  It's almost scary how simple it all is.  I know I have to lift weights but I haven't consistently started yet.  I know this is an im...

August 13, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Progression

Last night I got a call from my sister-in-law.  She is pregnant - what AWESOME NEWS!  My DH & I want more kids and one of my motivations for getting healthy is so I can go throught he IVF treatments again.  AMAZING how God provides you with exactly what you need when you need it in order to keep moving forward. I am blessed today.I did my 2nd  Couch to 5K - week 3 podcast this morning.  Warmup walk: 5 min - 90 sec jog...

August 12, 2008 | comments (3) | Mental Transformation

One step closer to the 5K

This morning I ran my first Podcast (Couch to 5K) for week 3.  It was amazing...I was really doing it!  I actually ran for 3 minutes...jogged really but who cares!  I was moving for 3 minutes at a pace I hadn't seen in years without stopping!  WOW!  I'm JAZZED!!!!   I will say that I know this week is going to be the test...I must do at least 3 more training sessions this week before I can move on to next week's...

August 11, 2008 | comments (3) | Mental Transformation

Win some and then you lose some...

Well, knowing I was going to the Bears pre-season opener last night, I took the bike out for a spin yesterday.  My knees were wobbly by the time I got home!  So, got changed and took my 10 yr old to the game.It was a long drive (3 hours in traffic) to the game.  My son & I talked alot...we talked about things we hadn't before and I began to see just how grown up he is.  We finally got to the stadium.  Upon entering, w...

August 8, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Bear Down Chicago Bears....

I am so jazzed!  My company has season tickets to the Bears games in the club level and they invited me and my son to go!  Ok...so my company is owned by my brother & sister but hey...family has it's perks :)  So, I plan on eating CLEAN for most of the day, performing a cardio at lunch and heading to the Bears game to enjoy a free day dinner.   GO BEARS!I've begun to explore more into the world of changing my insides....

August 7, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Recharging the battery

Hi Everyone!Last week I was beginning to feel uninspired - falling into the old patterns of my life where I would skip a workout...then eat something i shouldn't...and then it just progresses from there.  But, because I'm living my life on purpose, I decided to do something I wouldn't do before.  I asked for HELP.  Coach Stoney gave me some great advice.  He said take the weekend off...fill yourself with positives, RECHARGE TH...

August 6, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Breaking the patters that hold us back

For the past 2 days I've been feeling less than inspired with myself and my acomplishments.  I tried on my wedding dress from when I got married 11 years ago and you could fit the Grand Canyon in the gaping space between each side of the zipper.  My ankles are beginning to consistently hurt.  I was feeling a little down...a little sorry for myself - ok...a WHOLE LOT sorry for myself.This was always my pattern.  The usual next ...

August 1, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Foggy, HUMID morning to you all!

Well, woke up 15 min late this morning, went downstairs and hubby was still having a problem loading week 2 of the couch to 5K program on the IPOD.  But, eventually he got this loaded and outside I went for my first 90 sec jog / 2 min walk HIIT session.  Outside it was VERY humid...fog EVERYWHERE.  There was something almost mystical about working out in these conditions.  Yeah..I know...I AM NUTZ :)It went surprisingly well a...

July 31, 2008 | comments (3) | Mental Transformation

Feeling uninspired...

This morning didn't start out the best.  Woke up at 5 and realized my 10 yr old had been up since 4am itching - he has bug bites.  So, we put some cortizone on them to stop the itching and went downstairs.  I put the coffee on, put on my workout outfit and headed out the door for my new training session:  couch to 5K podcast #2.  I put the IPOD on and realized that it wasn't on there.  My husband never loaded it.&nbs...

July 30, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Feeling those MUSCLES coming to the surface!!!

This morning I did my final week 1 podcast for the couch to 5k program.  I felt that I had my breathing 90% under control - in through the nose...out through the mouth...arms at my waist and loose.  So, tomorrow I progress forward to the 2nd podcast where I run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes.  I'm excited about this!  It means I'm really progressing forward to my goal!  On a side note...I've upped my 5K training to...

July 29, 2008 | comments (0) | Mental Transformation

I'm on a ROLL!!!! Goal #2 in the hole!

Took FULL advantage of my freeday on Saturday...felt REALLY off-track yesterday morning.  I wasn't back on schedule...I wasn't getting in the 6 meals...just feeling off.  Then I remembered that I promised my son we'd go for a bike-ride.  Ok...this was the opportunity for me to get back on track.  I went to my purse and grabbed some cash, hopped on our bikes and we were off.  I biked 4 miles to / from the White Hen to get ...

July 28, 2008 | comments (4) | Mental Transformation

Transformation Deadlines (Assignment #5) - UPDATE

18-WEEK  GOALS 1.  Getting down to 210#'s (Losing 55#'s - Start was 265)2.  Run a 5K marathon for my brother George - OCTOBER 25th3.  Wear a size 18 (Current 24)4.  Fit in my wedding dress again5.  Ride 4 miles on my bike with my son to get an ICEE from White Hen   DONE 7/28/086.  Fit into sexy little black dress for my Anniversary - November 8th7.  Go to Great America (Amuement park) wi...

July 28, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

In this corner...we have the big CHEESE- CHEESE-IT's!

...and in the corner we have Julie...who floats like a butterfly...stings like a bee...*DING DING*  Round 1*BAM**WHACK!*OH! It looks like Julie took a upper cut to the chin!  She's down...2 - 4 - 6 - 8 - YOUR'RE OUT!!!  *DING DING*  ...and look like the big CHEESE - CHEESE-IT's won this fight.Ok...the good news in all of this?  I also had a re-match against the Dumpy Drumstick ice cream and I won that fight!  It's al...

July 25, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Taking a long - hard look at your before picture

This morning I took an energized 1/2 hour walk outside.  I filled my head with positive images and songs as I strutted down the sidewalk.  I'm sure some of the drivers in the cars passing by were giving some strange stares when I would really begin to get into the music I was listening to.  LOL - But hey - it's all about how you feel inside, right?I have decided to begin to take a long-hard look at my before picture - only taken 2 ...

July 24, 2008 | comments (3) | Mental Transformation

Julie GUMP - I was RUN-NING......

This morning George & I did our walk/run "couch to 5K" HIIT routine and I have to say that today I felt a little stronger.  It could have been the smashbra (one that smashes you down so tight NOTHING is moving) or it could have been the fact I wasn't holding a coffee tumbler, but somehow today's HIIT seemed to go much smoother.  Two things I'm noticing:1) I find myself clenching my fists when I run.  I have to be very...

July 23, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Raw Emotions...

This morning I woke up and took a morning walk listening to Enya.  I looked at the trees...the flowers...smelled the fresh air and began my day on a positive note.  Legs are sore - last night I took my 10 yr old for a haircut and needed to pick up a few things at a store down the way.  Instead of getting in the car and driving the 1/4 mile, we walked.  Yet another opportunity for us to spend time together.While we were walking...

July 22, 2008 | comments (5) | Mental Transformation

body for LIFE not BODY for life

I woke up this morning uninspired.  I intended to get up and do my first couch to 5K walk/run but let the pain of sleeping wrong and the voice of my inner negativity get the best of me.  I went downstairs, did the dishes, made some coffee and went down to the basement to the computer.  After checking my Ebay auctions, I went back upstairs to our bedroom to take a shower and get ready for the day.I hopped into a shower that probably...

July 18, 2008 | comments (4) | Mental Transformation

Surrender to the process today

"Addiction is a humbling experience. Getting it under control is even more humbling. I got better for one reason: I surrendered. Instead of asking to be bailed out, instead of making deals with God by saying, "If you get me out of this mess, I'll stop doing what I'm doing," I asked for help. I wouldn't do that before."- Josh Hamilton -MLB rookie who quit baseball because of addiction and made an incredible comeback to baseball...

July 17, 2008 | comments (0) | Mental Transformation

Life's little challenges...

Last night our 2 1/2 yr old woke up at 10:00 pm with a HORRIBLE case of the flu. He was throwing up...dry heaving...fevered...you name it, he had it...POOR THING! My husband stayed up ALL NIGHT with him last night, even while our little boy slept, my husband was there making sure he was ok.GOD - today I am grateful for my husband and how much he loves his children.Today offers me the opportunity to face life's little challenges. I woke up to f...

July 16, 2008 | comments (0) | Mental Transformation

Transformation Assignment #4

My purpose for Transformation...I WANT TO LIVEI want to live to see my children go to college, get married and have children.I don't want to die at 59 like my father from a heart attackI don't want to die at 47 like my brother from MORBID OBESITYI want more children - remember the pain of HPT-...I WANT MY HUSBAND DAVE TO LIVEI want to set the example for Dave - 35 is TOO YOUNG to have high cholesterol, be fat and have chest pains!REMEMBER JULIE -...

July 15, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Letting go of the anger

Tonight I took my 10 yr old to the batting cages.  It was UNGODLY hot and I felt my temperature rise.  You see, he's not particularly athletic...in fact, of the 120 balls he only hit 3.  I felt my blood boiling with each miss.  I got angry with him because he was screwing around...not taking it seriously...What was I thinking???  He's 10...he's not a pro-ball player!  And...why did I want him to hit?  So he coul...

July 14, 2008 | comments (3) | Mental Transformation

In the journey of life, it’s okay for me to stop and ask for directions.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my previous post/blog. I see why Bill calls this a family - we are all here for eachother to support one another. It's beautiful and very moving.So, here I am - sitting behind my desk at work and being in the present moment - not letting the pain of the past confuse me or define me...not letting the work of the future overwhelm me...just being in the now. It feels peaceful...probably more peaceful than I hav...

July 8, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Falling down

Feeling awful...feeling like that girl again on my before picture and all those words from our first transformation assignment. Haven't been exercising...haven't been eating right...Why do I do this every time??? How come we are so hard on ourselves? When we screw up and make bad choices...how come all of those old negative patterns come flooding back? Why can't I stop messing up? I'm better than this...I know I'm better than this...Why does one ...

July 8, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

Just DECIDE

Another day closer to my DH\'s Echo Stress Test. I am really anxious that they are going to find something wrong. This is not my first run-in with heart problems...My father died of a heart attack when I was only 19. That really messes you up - losing a parent when you are still a teenager. Then, I lost my brother to a heart attack (he was only 47). My mother had heart trouble and ultimately died of cancer - another fun way to watch someone ...

June 30, 2008 | comments (2) | Mental Transformation

Assignment #1

My digital camera is at home at the moment so I am using a picture from earlier this year: She purposely avoids making friends. She doesn't feel desirable - completely unsexy. She's depressed, repressed. Sometimes she wishes she could be someone else, somewhere else, but she doesn't do anything to move towards her goals.When I look at my before picture I see... :She's smiling but really wishing she could hideUnhealthyUnsexyFatUnhappySufferin...

June 26, 2008 | comments (5) | Mental Transformation

The colors of your life....what will you choose?

Our lives are like a painter's blank canvas...we can paint it however we desire...I finally believe that I understand what Bill has been telling me - it's not just physical transformation...it's a transformation of mind, body and soul. This is where the true key lies - in understanding that to change one, you must in turn change the others. If you concentrate your full attention on just one of these areas, the others begin to suffer as a result...

June 26, 2008 | comments (3) | Mental Transformation

Getting honest....REALLY honest...

I finally had it. My DH has avoided going to the doctor for YEARS. I felt it was time for him to get a general checkup so I made him an appointment for last Friday. I sat down and wrote out bulletpoints, a vitrual laundry list of things I wanted him to talk to the doctor about. He came home from the doctors office and told me that he needs to go in for a stress test. What? He is only 35 years old! He went on to explain...his blood pressure...

June 25, 2008 | comments (1) | Mental Transformation

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