I just received a wonderful post from Linda, where she talks about the importance of enjoying the workouts and especially the cure in laughing. I was thinking, how about we all share some jokes in our group, so when we open the computer, the first thing we do is laugh.
All that comes to my mind now are some of my kids jokes, but I will think of something before the day is done. Come on, help me out here...gotta good clean joke?
Rachel

Rachel, I think this is a really good (and funny) idea! I will dig up some jokes and share them with you.

Renelle xx

me: knock knock

you: who's there?

me: impatient cow

you: impat.....

me interrupting you: mooooooooooooo

A guy walks into the local ice cream shop. He walks up to the counter and asks for a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, we are out of chocolate." The guy then asks for a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk restates that they have no chocolate ice cream. So, the guy hums and haws and then asks for a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk replys, "can you spell the 'van' in vanilla?" The guy spells the word van. Then the clerk asks, "can you spell the 'straw' in strawberry?" The guy says, "S T R A W." Then the clerk says, "good, now can you spell the 'freak' in chocolate?" The guy gets excited and gets up in the clerks face and says, "There ain't no freakin chocolate!" And the clerk replys, "that's what I said!"

Maybe I should have changed it to the local health food store and the guy asking for protein powder. NAW.

A girl broom and a boy broom hang out in the broom closet for years. Over time they become best friends, then fall in love and decide to get married. On their wedding day, the bride broom looks beautiful in her wedding dress and the groom broom looks stunning in his tux. At their wedding dinner, the bride broom leans over to the groom broom and whispers excitedly, "I think I am going to have a baby whisk!" He looks stunned and asks "How can that be, we haven't even swept together:"

Donna

I love it! Keep 'um coming. G

A policeman parked his police van at the station, while gathering his equipment, his K-9 partner Tops was barking, and he saw a little boy staring at him “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” the policeman replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at him and towards the back of the van. Finally he asked; “What did he do?”

Hahahhahahahahah, you crack me up!

Visiting the countryside on a hunting trip, the well-dressed man from Stockholm takes aim and shoots a duck. But the fowl drops into a farmer's field, and the farmer claims it. Since both want it, the farmer suggests settling the dispute with an old fashioned hick-kick. "I kick you as hard as I can in the crotch, then you do the same to me," he explains. "Whoever screams the least gets the bird."
The city man agrees. So the farmer winds up and delivers a crushing blow to the man's privates, and he collapses to the ground. Twenty minutes later, when he finally manages to stand, he gasps, "My turn."
"Nah," says the farmer, turning away. "You can keep the duck."

hee-hee-hee-Helen G

Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service.
"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.
"Looks like it," is the answer.
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again. "Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"
"Absolutely."
The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"
"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."
"How do you know?"
"Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

This thread is so cool... I just laughed out loud! Too funny! Thanks for the great idea Rachel!

Renelle xx

That's a great one, Helene!

Love the jokes! It's amazing how a good laugh can change your outlook on everything! Thanks!

In an effort to keep our joke thread nice and clean I decided to stick to the old reliable knock knock jokes.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Could you please cover your mouth when you sneeze!

One more for the road!

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs... pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a chick with long legs and who agrees with everything I say.'

Love your jokes Greg!

Since English is not my language I am not sure my jokes are clean...
If not, you my have to remove them : )

A man says to a friend, "My wife is on a three-week diet."
"Oh, yeah? How much has she lost so far?"
"Two weeks."

Wife: Honey, did you notice? I bought a new toilet brush.
Husband: Yes, I did. But I still prefer the paper.