Hi, I am posting to get some feedback from others on my condition--namely pain medicine. Long story short, I had a hysterectomy last June (08) to correct what we thought were issues causing me pain and increased clinical depression for years. The surgery has actually made things worse in all aspects of my life. It turns out that I need back surgery. However, I am suffering from severe lower abdominal pain since the original surgery in 08. I can barely walk anymore; I use a cane to hold myself up in the front--and can't walk if I am not taking pain medication. They do not want to proceed with back surgery and think if someone can diagnose and "cure" the abdominal pain, that maybe I can put off the surgery for 2-5 years--that's with pain blocking shots to my back.
I've been to so many Doctors and specialists, it's all a blur. They cannot diagnose what is wrong with the "front". I'm probably being too dramatic, but it feels like my life is ruined. This is impacting all facets of my life. I'm losing faith in the medical profession.
I try to keep walking and doing light PT excercise--but I have to be loaded up on pain meds to do it. I say loaded up, but the Doctors could not believe that I wasn't on more and am still working. Now the pain is so unbearable, that the Percocet, Valium and Neorotin is not working--I suspect that my body grew tolerant to what I was taking. The pain is unbearable at times and I pray that I don't wake up.
Friday, 05/01, my doctor prescribed oxycotton. This is in addition to what I am on now. She also increased the valium and the neurontin.
My Doctor tried to put me on disability but I am afraid of not being productive. I'm a workaholic now more than ever. My husband and I are growing farther apart. I really think he needs a break. It's hard for him to watch me. go through this. I try to go to my room and be alone to cry A LOT. I smoke --a lot because I'm as nervous as a rat. I hate being a burden.
Years ago when I was 22 (43 now), I got clean and sober with the help of AA. By the Grace of God, been so ever since. I am terrified that I will become an addict to this medicine, but I need to control the pain so I can function. When I don't take the medicine, I end up in the emergency room getting shots of morphine.
The doctors are trying to diagnose the abdominal pain and I am scheduled for more nerve block shots on 05/19. The first round did not work.
I'm confused. I know it's going to take some time for a diagnoses and an effective treatment for my lower abdominal pain, but I am terrified of all these medicines.
Looking for feedback from the group.
Sincerely confused,
Carol

Wow Carol! I can understand the confusion. I can't imagine what you are going through. I don't have any advice to give you because I have no medical background. I do have a friend that was severely injured about 10 years ago and he controls his pain through acupuncture. I don't know if that would work with your kind of pain, but you might look into that.

I think that you came to the right place to ask that question. We will get the word out to the community because I know that someone will have some information that could help you. Hang strong my sister. ~Leigh

Carol, what an amazing story you've shared with us. I am truly heart broken that you have gone through so much and that you still have so much a head of you. You are an incredibly brave lady. This is a loving community. Transformation is about looking deeper in to yourself emotionally and spiritually. I and many others will be happy to help you in that regard. I wish I could help you more with the pressing physical pain. Seems like you are doing everything you can there. Please do not lose faith or hope. I am here to talk with any time. -- David

Your journey has a familiar ring to it. I have been on all kinds of meds. It is probable that you are physically addicted to narcotics. If in your 20s u were an addict2 something....ur brain learns to function on the opiates and actually asks for more as it actually produces more recepters that Need more to get the same pain relief. Have u tried natrualpathic healing? Email me anytime. I will be praying bfor u. Love and blessings. Kat

Carol, You are taking the right steps to totally improve your quality of life. You will find so many here at T-com that will support and believe and encourage you as you go through this struggle. I don't blame you at all for wanting to avoid the pain meds, but you are going to have to do some I think to get by until there is a diagnosis from a doctor and some treatment plan in place to help your health. Try your best to take the lowest dosages of the pain meds if you can bear it. Also I honestly think you should seek out input from a variety of doctors so you can get an answer to what is causing the pain. That is where I would start.

I pray right now that God fills you up with peace and that you can feel his love during this very difficult time. Also talk talk talk to your husband, share everything you are feeling with him, he is your partner for life! Keep the communication with him open.

I am so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself for stepping out to make changes for yourself and your health.

I will stop by and say hi through out the rest of the week. I will just pass on some love!!!
Katie B.

Thank you Katie. Yes, I told them I will only take one oxycotton... I have seen so many Doctors, but I keep asking for new names. I am also using acupuncture--that helps.
I'm grateful for your prayers. Thanks for reaching out. You have no idea what it means to me.
Carol

OK--I don't know how to use this site.... LOL.
Thanks to all of you for your replies. I was going to reply to each of you individually. I am taking the minimum that I can take and seeking other alternatives such as shots and non-narcotics. Acupunture really helps for a few days. If I could afford it, I'd go every day. Being on Percocet for the last year and now all of this new stuff, I'm sure I am addicted to opiates again. I have all the signs when I put off taking my meds. That will be part of my 18 week challenge --maybe not the first but the second. I have tried homeopathic healing with no luck. I'm just going to keep trying to keep what I am taking to a minimum and keep seeking out alternatives.
As I posted to Katie--thank you for reaching out. I cannot believe the support this community offers to help a person get well--emotionally and physcially.
(((Huggies))))
Carol

Carol, I tried writing last night, but my computer froze. Sorry. Everyone here has great and positive feedback for you. I am sure you are completely frustrated with the doctors. And I know what I am about to ask you is going to see like a hard thing to visualize. But for now .. can I ask you to do one thing everytime a pain creeps into your body, and I know that is going to be a lot of times. Please close your eyes (not if your driving lol) but gently take a deep breath and visualize yourself as you were whole. It isn't going to be a 1 2 3 cured moment. Nor is it going to happen in a week. But you need to breath from your center. Deep easy breaths. When we feel pain our immediate reaction is to coil within. Which only makes it worse. Try to visualize yourself as relaxed and whole as possible. There is no way at this point that you can go without any pain medications. Your body has adapted to them. What has to change for you is the way your mind responds to the pain your body gives out. When you start making your breathing and relaxing a habit, it will become easier to manage what is happening. The key word here is manage. A doctor can and will only treat symptoms, not what creates the symptoms. Your in the right place. I know with the steps you are going to take through doing the assignments here, you are going to build yourself a stronger mindset to carry your vessel through.

I can see by your photo you are frazzled. Your head is held close to your body, your arms are tight and near you. By the end of 18 weeks, you are going to be more open. You will have a different glow. One step at a time. Metamorphosis One Day At A Time (MODAAT) that is what I chant to myself. You can do this. We will help you through mentally. And that will enable the doctors to better help you physically. Put off that back surgery if you can. Once you do that, there is no going back. That is if it is medically possible for you to put it off. Carol the human mind is a power house. You just have to tap into yours. Your stronger than you think you are!

We are here for you. God Bless.

Diana

Hi Carol. I have RSD from an injury. Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. The Sympathetic nerves are wacked out and tell my leg it is broken after it is healed. It also causes unreasonable pain in an area that should be healed. At first the doc thought it was all in my head. But my leg was blue and I could not stand on it after the cast came off.. So, I was put on neurontin and pain meds and sleeping meds. That all made it worse. I threw them all away. I was told I would lose my right leg in three years because the lack of blood flow caused by the sympathetic nerves who still were reacting like I had a broken leg, were stopping blood from reaching my leg. It was spasming some 200 times a day and night because there was not enough blood getting to it.. I was not sleeping. I was on crutches. I got an exersize recumbant bike, and began to ride. I discovered that diet soda made my leg spasm and the pain worse. Aspartame excites nerve cells to death. Some docs don't believe it. I do. I experience it. Every time my leg spasmed I rode my bike. I researched the internet and asked a doc for a week long epidural . I rode my bike and forced myself to walk. Sometimes I felt like throwing up the pain was so bad. It took me 2 years to be able to walk with out lots of pain and a limp. Today I am leg pressing 500#'s. Docs told me not to run or do impact. I am beginning to run again. I swim, I bike and I walk with running a minute at a time.It has been 9 years. 2 years ago, I broke the other foot. RSD attacked that one too. I got an immediate epidural the day the cast came off. I worked it out as much as possible. I am building new blood vessels in my legs. I also have a theory about autoimmune disease. I was abused as a child and had lost my sense of self worth. Since I have begun transformation and am doing the assignments I have discovered that I have SO MUCH negative self talk. I am changing that.
Please have faith in God that you can get through this. Have faith in yourself. Push the pain away and work on moving as much as possible. I am on a no sugar mostly lo carb diet. My carbs are sweet potato, and brown rice and oats with protein powder. I am allergic to wheat.I eat organic food and stopped drinking and smoking. You have so much to give, So much life in you. Don't give up. You are master over your body. You are master over pain. Pain is my friend. It lets me know when something is wrong. By all means, get a scan and be sure nothing is causing the pain. Find out about RSD. It could be that. I will keep you in my prayers. You are a strong woman. You can beat this. Love,Lynn

Carol. You are going through some incredible challenges. You are fighting this so courageously. My favorite saying that helps me through some hard times is the serenity prayer. I may not get it right but as I recall: God help me to accept the things I cannot change. God help me to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Hey Carol I will keep you in prayers my friend. I know about pain, severe pain, All I can offer you is prayers, listen to your doctors they know what's best for you right now. Don't give up hope. We are all here for you.

Carol, I am so sorry to hear your pain. I know about the not wanting to wake up part and feel for you. My pain is under some control now and never as bad as what you describe but the whole medicine thing is very hard for me as well coming from a family who has had many struggles with addiction. I don' t have any great advice today just sympaty and love going your way

Carol, I have not been through your journey, although it sounds like Lynn (workinit) has - her advice is SUPER! The mind is designed to control the body, and in my own case with some pretty hefty fibromyalgia-type pain for years (back surgery etc), I refused to take on pain meds. My shoulder surgery 5 weeks ago required about 3 days of it, and then I said no more - I hate that stuff. But I do have a friend who has HAD to have it as you have, and he has experienced a lot of the same as you - and is now addicted and has so many other problems. I am thankful to say that since I started on this journey, doing WHATEVER I could at whatever stage, I am - after 18 weeks, PAIN FREE! I will be praying that you will have a similar experience. I would really encourage you to do the INSIDE work even when you can't do the physical - and you may just be surprised at what happens. It isn't easy, but obviously you're used to that, right? Wow, lady - you are stronger than you think. Hugs and love to you. Keep going. You CAN do this. Does massage help? It certainly does for me. Johnnie

I just wanted to share a situation my best friend encountered which sounds pretty similar to some of your issues. She is/was having severe abdominal pain..several months and several trips to different doctors/ER...even surgery. Ultimately they said it was scar tissue adhering to her ribs/lungs from some previous surgeries. They took out some of the scar tissue but of course it just grows back. Pain management is a real issue for her too..she's coping somehow though.

I have back issues as well and for me...when my low back is compressed or feeling poorly I can experience quite sharp abdominal pain. I always figured it was the spine compressing some nerves. I do stretching when I can and visit my chriopractor when I can.

Wishing you best of luck...hugs!

Stephanie