I just found this site and joined today. This is the first thread I have read and it is just what I needed to hear and exactly why I am here. Yes, life is hard on all of us in different ways. I too felt that I was doing okay and that I was stonger because of my trials, but then one event has sent me in a downward spiral and brought back the pain of many others. I thought I had gotten over them and here they are rearing their ugly heads at me again! My family needs me to be strong right now and I have just felt like I am sinking and unable to swim to the top. Your words have hit home and I am ready to thrive! This is just what I needed!

Let me know if there's anything I can do for you my friend - feel free to send me a personal email via this site if you'd like to chat about your challenges. Your T.com buddy, Paul Mc

Hello Stracke7! I am soooo glad that you are here. You will find that this website is full of amazing people willing and ready to give you advice, encouragement, and most of all... love. Make sure to keep reaching out... make some friends and most of all be open, honest and loving to yourself. You are worth all the hard work you will go through to transform physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Again, welcome.

"You will not be tested beyond what you can bear"


Let me reassure you (as one who knows first-hand)
whatever pressures and burdens we may feel overwhelmed by,
God / the Universe knows that we have the power to conquer it.

See yourself as the powerful being that God / the Universe sees.

... we are all stronger than we know ...


"Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it."
(Helen Keller)

I've been coaching several people over the last week and, although their experiences and challenges are very different from one another, a couple of them have asked me about my own experience with regard to turning things around and developing my new attitudes, given my story. I was happy to share my experiences and illustrate them with some quotes.

I told them it came down to 4 things:

1. I realised that there are 3 levels of "control" in life; Things I have absolutely NO control over, things I have SOME degree of influence over and things I have TOTAL control over. The most significant thing I have control over is I CAN CHOOSE WHAT TO BELIEVE - it is this one factor alone that today, enables me to operate from a place of forgiveness, peace and loving-kindness where others choose condemnation, anger and hate.

"It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean that will determine how we think about ourselves and how we will act in the future".
"Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit".

"Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives".

2. Taking back my "Personal Power" - I distinctly remember the second things began to change for me. I was sat in my wheelchair at the kitchen table and got pretty annoyed, saying "That's it ! I've had enough - I refuse to be a victim of circumstance or someone else's actions. I'm taking charge of, and personal responsibility for, where my life goes from here"

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped".

3. Right then, I made a list of 12 things I wanted to achieve - most of them were wildly ambitious and many experts thought I was being ridiculous ... but when I came across that list almost 18 months later, I realised I had achieved 11 of them (By the way - I've since completed the 12th too !)

"The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, Just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat"

4. I had set goals that were meaningful to me personally and they were sufficiently BIG to get excited about - next I committed to making them a reality. Once I was truly committed and excited, I started finding out how I could achieve them and started taking action steps to do so.

"Lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action".

"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided".

Ask yourself "How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?"

This thread is simply amazing! So much positive energy in one place, just what I need.
It make me look at life in a whole new light!
Time to start THRIVING!

If you're a thriver, what life throws at you is just tuition for the next round.

Yep. Survivor mode OFF. Thriver mode ON.

Paul -
I've created a Word document just for your posts! Love the first one and the one above.

The first one was something I especially needed today as I am in the process of taking my power back! I decided to not give up and give in to other people's actions and instead work with what I have, however little that may be, and decide what I want and figure out how how to get it.

Who was it that said Living well is the best revenge? Not that I want revenge, but it would be nice for me to know that I defined my life, not THEM!

Thanks so much for all your words of wisdom.

I am SOOOO glad you're here!!

Liz

LOL - thanks Lizzi, you're very kind !

It's a real privilege to be here in the company of so many wonderful friends - you feel like family !

BTW, there's a couple of posts on page 2 of this thread entitled :
Carrots, Eggs & Coffee Beans
and
Strong at the Broken Places
you might like too ...


Hugs !


Paul

This is a great thread!

I like the name, victor - a winner! no matter what unfolds, walking in the promise of victory keeps the faith strong and the journey sweet!

Love
MaryPat

Quote:

Originally Posted by gloomraider Hey Laura, how about "from Victim to VICTOR !!!

Tooo funny! I hadn't read all the way through before I posted! I was given an opportunity to lead a small group for those who are healing from physical, emotional and sexual abuse - I called it "Victim to Victor" ...go figure!

love MaryPat

What amazes me beyond belief is how a forum post from almost a year ago still has incredible life and people are still viewing them and adding to them. I love it! There is such good information and energy here at Tcom.

Very inspirational piece Paul. I'm so happy that you shared it. I myself, am a thriver. The challenges of the past 7 years, (I've had a long run), have been numerous and difficult. It would have been very easy to feel sorry for myself, but then what purpose would that have served? What good would have come from me dragging my heels through life, moping about? I guess you could say I'm an eternal optimist. I always look for the gift in even the seemingly worst of situations.

I have discovered that sometimes the most tragic circumstances bear the greatest opportunities for growth. We don't often stretch; reaching beyond ourselves to higher potentials; when the seas are calm. It is through those circumstances that test our mettle that we arrive at who we truly are, beneath the surface.

Would the way have been easier had my path been one of calm? Sure, but I wouldn't trade the wealth of self-knowledge I have gained through the turbulent times I have walked through. It has made me appreciate the blessings that much more and helped me become the woman I am today... a woman who is strong and can hold her own.

Thanks again for sharing your insight. This piece really resonated with me.

-Shannon

To be a "victim" implies ongoing helplessness. To be a "survivor" defines someone as having survived something. In a way, this very definition still carries an anchor with it, a link to a "negative past". To "thrive", though, does not carry that reference to "something bad or unwnted", but just simply conjures the images of health and growth, as in saying that a plant thrives with sunshine, water and the right soil and food. We are no different! Eventually, though it is a process, we do not need to stand on the rocks we have overcome in order to live our best life. Once we climb out of the rough places, we just need to stand up in the sunshine and fresh air and CLAIM our birthright to thrive to our highest and fullest potential!
Thanks for this post. It's a reminder to all of us to learn to let go of identifying ourselves with the problems in the past, and instead to step into the sunshine of all the potential in our life. Pauline

I only saw this thread now, after being here for over 8 months.

I gave up the term victim trying to survive many years ago (with the odd short lapse here and there) and do not feel like I relate to either of them anymore.

I now relate to the term :

Thriving Transformer!