To repeat what I added to my blog.

Today I decided to join the Transformation community. I have been reading this for months trying to find my way in life.


A Little about myself.
I am married and am a father of 2 young children. I have a good job, cars, a boat and a house.
Current health stats:
height 5'8
Weight 230lbs
GERD
Sleep Apnea
The physical fitness level of a rock. Meaning very little strength and cardio is bad.



I have been struggling with trying to become healthy for some time. I have read the BFL book and tried to follow the program only failing many times. I can get motivated and then just loose all motivation and stop. Been back in forth on a few other sites searching for my answer on why I will not change.



I have come to the conclusion that the underlying problem I have been denying is I am suffering from depression. When I stop and think deeply about things I feel I have hardly any self worth. This can be the only reason I will not try and better myself. If you dont care for something you dont put much time into it.



Lately I have thought about when do I feel happy. I look at my kids and they do make me happy but shortly after that I go into a funk. This is what is bothering me the most now adn I just dont understand it.



I have tried to explain thsi to my wife and she turns it around that I just dont like them. That is not the case. I have asled for help from here in preparing meals that will help with eating better but that does not last either.



I used to love to use our boat now I barely use it and want to sell it but the economy is another story.
I used to love sports - they are fading away as well.
I used tolike hanging out with friends and that has faded away.



Lately the only time I do feel relaxed is when I have a few drinks. I know this is the start of a long dark road but this is where I am currently at.


I have lost faith in doctors in trying to help me. Just not worth the aggrevation of going with no answers.Been through too much of it.


So my quest continues to find a way for me to turn this around and get back to having fun and enjoying life. Allot of the posts here are very inspiring and I think - Wow that is wonderful but only a few minutes later - I am off to the dark again.

Any advice on getting self worth back?

Been back in forth on a few other sites searching for my answer on why I will not change. Stop RIGHT now looking for WHY you WILL NOT change.....you are looking for an answer to a negative question. Focus on the positive!!!! Ask yourself, "HOW COME THIS TIME I WILL CHANGE AND CHANGE FOREVER!!!"

only reason I will not try and better myself There is NO good reason to not try to better yourself! Tough love comin' so duck!! LOL I am here to tell you that you are not alone! We have all been through some rough, unimaginably horrific times in our lives...and I do believe that is what got us here! We have allowed our circumstances, our struggles, our childhood and abuse issues control and affect our lives for far too long. We have used it as a crutch to stay unfit and unhappy believing that is what we deserved. Everything my parents ever told me as a child was a lie, and today I know that!!!! I will no longer let my PAST determine my FUTURE! I had to start telling myself everyday that I was a good person, that I was strong, that I was pretty, that I was WORTH IT...whether I believed it or not, I said it and in time those positive thoughts became a true reflection of ME!

I can really feel your pain but you know what??? I am so flippin' excited for you because I truly believe you are finally in the right place, with the right tools (Bill's Blogs and Lessons) to change ALL of that! This will NOT be easy but you are NOT alone! For now if your wife doesn't understand - come to us...blog (like you did) post, email....let us be here to help you because WE have all been where you are and we know that it can and will change

You have the strength inside of you and it will be brought out!!!! Follow the lessons, as hard as they may be.....give yourself the time and attention...you will find that in just a few days of positive self talk, and just a little movement, and healthy eating choices you will begin to change, you will begin to BELIEVE in yourself as WE believe in you!!!

You have the potential to be one of the most amazing transformation stories we have seen and I want to be here to help you through it ok?

I am so proud of you by the way for reaching out to us SO quickly...that takes a lot of guts and I know it was not easy!!! There are many amazing people here who have overcome difficult situations in their lives that I believe you can learn from, find inspiration and motivation from! So spend some time looking at profiles.

Hi Rob - I am so glad you are here! It was no accident that you found this site. You obviously want change but may be a little nervous. If you are familiar with the BFL book and seems like too much just try to do what you are capable of at this time. Every nutrition meal and every bit of exercise you are able to do will help you feel better and better about yourself. If you can't do it for yourself right now do it for your kiddos. They will be so proud of their Dad.
You do appear to have some classic symptoms of depression. Good nutrition can get you back on track or at least improve that situation. Omega 3 fish oils, B vitamins and such can help with. The sleep apnea can be treated or it will improve as you lose weight. Lack of sleep stresses our bodies big time.
You mentioned alcohol. A little may be relaxing but if it is more than a little it can cause vitamin depletion also therefore exacerbating the depression.
Here is info about vitamins and depression:
http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/depression/treatment/alternative/dietary_supplements.asp
http://www.healingwell.com/LIBRARY/depression/beardsley1.asp
http://www.mcmanweb.com/what_you_eat.html

I am so glad you came to our community. I believe that you are wonderful and worthwhile person. Depression has a way of distorting our thought process. I have been there and know you can get out of the pit too! Commit yourself to making a few positive healthy changes each day even if you don't feel like it and you will be feeling better quickly. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to talk

YOU ARE WORTH IT

Read some of Bill's assignments and start yourself on the path to improvement! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

*I have been struggling with trying to become healthy for some time. I have read the BFL book and tried to follow the program only failing many times. I can get motivated and then just loose all motivation and stop. Been back in forth on a few other sites searching for my answer on why I will not change. *

- this is because you have not gotten to the root of your problem.......but you will. Stay close to this site.

*Lately the only time I do feel relaxed is when I have a few drinks. I know this is the start of a long dark road but this is where I am currently at.* Read some of my blogs, or my Uncle Stoneys.......this may be more then you think... I too had depression, I was extremely tired all the time, and would go to sleep sometimes just so I did not have to think..... The way I get out of this is to Encourage others.....LIFE WILL THEN TAKE ON A MEANING AT LAST! Encourage others, do simple acts of kindness, I work guys through the 12 steps of a.a. and when im not doing that I try to be on here rooting people on. Just a couple nice words can really change a persons day! There are so many nice good qualitys in people, but they dont know it ,because no one thinks to tell them.

In doing this I completely forget about my problems and feel alot better about my life and what im doing with it! TRY IT!


~Bobby Grimes

Try this man ! I PROMISE IT WORKS..........If it worked for me , well it can work for you my friend! Try this today, maybe by just complimenting someone , something small....then work your way up! Good for your kids to see this as well, because they will follow.

ROB...it's a pleasure to have you here.

I could say a thousand things, but let's just start with this:

Plug in here, and get to working on your body. It might be drudgery at first, but things will happen that are going to impact your heart. The best way to deal with anything is through ACTION. So let's get to work. It'll actually be fun, man. Allow us to be your teammates.

Are you willing?? I care about you, but I don't care how you're feeling right now...ie: if you don't "feel" like exercising. Most of us didn't "feel" like it either. I'm not making fun of you. Not in the least. I just see the old me in your posts, and I'm telling you...there's a better life, buddy.

Are you willing??

Rob,
I, and several others, know how ugly depression can feel, but Mellie is right; No matter what, we have to look at the positive side. I am still somewhat of a newbie when it comes to transformation, but I am picking up momentum fast! I still go through those days when i'm in one of "those" moods and it seems INSANE to try to feel positive. But you know what? Each time that dark mood happens, it becomes less and less.
The key is to work through it every time, instead of retreating. Everytime you pull through, you just keep getting stronger and stronger until it simply becomes a thought, and it no longer consumes you.

I went through the "I have it all but I can't seem to care" stage too. I had depression from the time I was a child. I remember being 10 years old and feeling worthless. Your words remind me of a more difficult than usual stage in my life. I loved our children and my spouse, but couldn't seem to care about life. My husband, who is a wonderful man, simply could not understand where i was coming from. I could not rely on him for moral support because he could not understand what I was going through. I had to lean on outside support. This was so key in my healing.
You will find a wonderful support system here. There are so many with so much love and compassion to give. I look up to so many of them. As you get stronger, reaching out to others, as Bobby mentioned, can thrust you into a positive mode, at warp speed. Also, Kath'ys suggestion about vitamins is a great one.
Remember that we are all on your side. We are pullin' for you. Transformation may not always be easy, but you are certainly worth it.

Adriana

Thank you all. I am definitely going to give your suggestions a try. I played with my son for a while last night (more than usual) and put life out of my mind and I enjoyed it very much. That is the feeling I want all the time. I can start with trying to eat better than move into the exercise.

Right on dude! RIGHT ON! You got out of yourself by playing with your son, thats great! You say you want that feeling all the time.....well the truth is.....that is not going to happen....but you can learn tools to treat the way you feel

* What used to be the hunch or occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God ( of your understanding) , it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.*



~Bobby Grimes

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob71 Thank you all. I am definitely going to give your suggestions a try. I played with my son for a while last night (more than usual) and put life out of my mind and I enjoyed it very much. That is the feeling I want all the time. I can start with trying to eat better than move into the exercise.

You got out and MOVED! Let's eat better TODAY and start exercising more TODAY. OK?

A lesson in Transformation. MOVE! Actually, I think it's the first tenet in Bill's new book! Yee and haaaaaw...

GO ROB GO!!! I believe in you! You will believe in you very soon!!!

It's begining to happen! Right on!
I'm pullin' for ya!

Rob, I'm just getting over being depressed. I went through a period where I hardly left my house for a year. I didn't really exercise or eat healthy. I didn't have the energy. I have fibromyalgia, muscular dystrophy, and other health problems and I just gave up and started to beleive the lies I was telling myself. You know the ones I'm talking about. I started working out and eating healthy little by little and the energy starting to come and the mind followed. My thoughts became clearer and I was able to fight for my life. I have dealt with depression for most of my life. I have been on my body for life challenge for 32 days today and I am a different person mind, body, and soul. Take baby steps if you have to, but take steps, you are worth it!

You already made several steps in the right direction..just remember that even the steps that feel small to you, are FORWARD MOTION!! Keep the mantra "progress not perfection" in the back of your mind...it helps keep me out of the dark, and into the light!
((hugs))
Christie

Hey Rob...welcome. A really great step to reach out and connect here. Your honestly is a necessary step to figure out where you are at. Next, you need to make a very serious decision about where you want to get to. There is so much help here to get from A to B here, but your heart must be in it for it to work for you, even if you don't know how to accomplish that right now.
Bill has given us so many excellent exercises to work through in his blog. They really work to help us connect the dots. I have done a wide variety of things to improve my life and I can tell you this really works.

When you start to move, eventually getting into some good rigorous exercise, your body will start pumping good feelings right through your veins. When you feed your body correctly and frequently the brain chemistry changes, as does your overall energy. When you start feeling better it fuels a more positive cycle. When you begin to get aware of the thoughts you are feeding your mind, and make positive changes there, you will also feel so much better.
Alcohol is actually a depressant, and although it may have short term feel good benefits, it is fueling the depressed feelings.
Just a note on something I heard on PBS the other day. A study was done with a group of people that were clinically depressed. Half were put on Zoloft, a well known anti-depressant, and half were prescribed regular high intensity exercise. In 12 weeks they compared results and both groups reported feeling very good. In 6 months they compared again, and the medicated group's overall results were not as good as the side effects of the meds were negatively affecting them. The exercise group was continuing to increase in the overall good results as they were reporting improved esteem, energy, etc.
Exercise will improve so many aspects of your life.

If you really want change, it is waiting for you to grab it. I look forward to following your progress.

I planned on getting going with eating better again and exercising. I went and got better foods for the house for breakfast as well. I wrenched my lower back good last week and the pain still has not gone away. So this morning I could not get motivated to get going ans was running late as usual. Instead of making the planned egg beaters on a whole wheat wrap I ended up stopping at the deli for a bagel and cream cheese and a iced tea. Not a good choice but comfortable I guess. So no exercising today and so far not eating right. For lunch I had a salad with chicken, mushrooms, gorganzola cheese and dressing,. Not a terrible choice like breakfast but not great as I am hungry already and I ate an hour ago. So I am here thinking when am I going to see the light and find out what I need to get me in gear. This is the biggest problem for me. Now I am feeling very angry, confused, and of course depressed as usual. This is so frustrating.

Also this week I decided to stop taking the lipitor and tricor for my high cholesterol and truglycerides. The aches and pains I am getting as a side affect from them are not worth it. Also all weekend I did nothign to better this. Ate out on Friday, Saturday and junk leftovers all day yesterday.

Yesterday, as I was going about my business, words came to my head to pray for ROB! I could not remember who Rob was! It was not until today when I came across your blog that I realized who God was telling me to pray for! I am sorry for your pain. I struggle with depression at times also and I know how overwhelming and hopeless it can feel. Look at all the people on this sight that care for you! You are going to be alright Rob! Exercise is the best way to get out of your depression and I know it sounds crazy but you know what helps my depression??? Not medication but AMINO ACIDS! I read this great book awhile back called "The Mood Cure". This book outlines a great nutritional plan-same as BFL-6 mini meals along with good nutrition, exercise and the Aminos. It is worth a try. Doctors could not help my depression and anxiety but Body for Life and supplementation with amino acids did. It may not work for you but it is worth some research!

Your in my prayers!

With love,
Jenny

Rob
Do you see your progress you actually care about what you are eating and spending time with your kids that is great. I get very depressed and angry and feel like no one can relate to what I am going through so on those days I just do it any way because I get to move I get to go for a walk. Try to exercise for 5 minutes and if you want to keep going go if you want to stop then stop but just give your self 5 minutes. I Know for me that even when I am in my worst mood it is hard for my negative self to talk me out of 5 minutes. If you have a cell phone put reminders on it to read some affirmations I do it every time I eat a meal or try to progress not perfection right I am here for you lets take this journey one second one minute one day at a time. The eating thing is hard for me to but lets not focus on what we had a day ago or an hour ago lets focus on what better choices we can make on our next meal and tell those negative thoughts to get lost I am being the change and transforming myself you can do this.


I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I do not fear being unhealthy because I know that I control my own body.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I am responsible for my own Spiritual Growth.
My strength comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and ever-lasting.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.

Hi Rob,

I was diagnosed with dysthymic depression, generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia seven years ago when I was sixteen and have been on medication ever since. I just lost my mom. I know what it feels like to be constantly unhappy, to have no sense of self worth, and I know what it's like to truly suffer. I'm currently trying to find that illusive feeling called happiness while grieving for the loss of my mom, and while it may seem impossible now, I am sure that I am at least moving in the right direction. Everyone in this community is immensely supportive and there is so much to learn from other people's experiences. Use this support that is available to you. Don't try to "go it alone." Let others lift you up and try to lift others up along the way. Feel free to message me - I would love to help.

Liz

If any of you have dealt with the doctors on this how to you get the real help you need? I go to my doctor and he looks at me like I have 3 heads. I do not want to try and experiment with anymore drugs. I do that enough with the drinking that is getting worse and more frequent.