Hello everyone. I am new here; just signed up today and have spent some time settling in. I'm in desperate need of what is being offered here and I hope I can be as uplifting as those of you whose posts I have read elsewhere.

"It never rains but it pours" is a saying with which I've become very familiar throughout my life. I just found out today that, after working with us for several months now, the bank through which our house is financed has officially placed us in foreclosure. This came as a shock, considering just three months ago we were eligible for help and a tremendous slash in our payment. The only caveat was that we had to turn in our paperwork by a certain date. We did this. In fact, we sent it four times. One of those times was even via Fedex.

Magically, none of those packages ever actually made it where they needed to be. Even the Fedex package - which was in fact signed for at the appropriate address according to our tracking data - seemed to conveniently disappear. Apparently, if a bank is hard-up for cash, there is some subtle loophole that allows them to be completely irresponsible with mail that was very carefully sent precisely on time. One has to wonder what hope David has against this irresponsible, self-centered Goliath.

So, we are faced with very quickly vacating our house and trying to find a new place to stay. This happens in the wake of learning that my current client company wants to keep me around indefinitely (I'm an IT contractor). This is great news, as IT work is hard to come by around here. So the dark cloud has thundered into view, tearing our meager silver lining in half.

A similar situation happened a few months ago, when we lost our van because I had been out of work. The moment I landed a job that could easily sustain the payment... they took it.

It's frustrating and a little embarrassing, but in the end it was poor financial management that got us into this. We ironically now find ourselves able to get by financially, but too late to salvage our current living situation. (We're checking into legal options regarding the "misplacement" of paperwork that we can prove was there on time.)

I often wonder why things unfold in such a way. I'm a fairly analytical person and I am drawn to thought patterns that are logical and that make sense. Why every positive with which we have been blessed recently is immediately followed by a negative that is often much larger is beyond me. It doesn't make sense. It never will.

And so it is against that turbulent backdrop that I begin this journey of internal transformation. Not the easiest of circumstances. But I've read many posts here and I can see others who have endured against worse odds and prospered. These are tough times and we're all suffering in some way.

We do have options open to us. We are alive and healthy and formulating a plan of action that will help us weather this storm. On the other side of it, we will be stronger and wiser for the experience. I hope that, despite their young ages, my kids can also glean some important lessons about good financial management. It's not always enough - but it's a solid foundation.

I look forward to reading and posting more over the next eighteen weeks and beyond. Thanks to those of you who have posted warm welcomes on my profile already. I will be visiting and returning the favor soon.

Things are very tough economically everywhere. I am sorry to hear of your struggles, but grateful for the good, the blessings still placed ever so perfectly in your life. If I recall you have 4 beautiful children that are your life....you have a job with steady income that will enable you to keep a roof over your families head.

We all walk the path we were meant to be on...for what ever reason. Lessons are to be learned and strength to be gained through these difficult times. Try very hard to not spend time dwelling on the bad and the difficulty it will create in your life, live in a state of gratitude each day ~ change your mind and change your life.

We're all in this together....prayers will be sent for you and your family my friend. I am so glad you found your way here.....especially now. Its seems to be the perfect timing Nothing by chance so they say!

You have such wonderful and gentle way of expressing yourself SlimmGrimm. I too often wonder why things unfold themselves in certain ways, and I am learning to know peace by taking things one day at a time, and savoring the moment. (for me it's a slow process - but I am learning!) When I look around and observe all that is beautiful and positive, I discover in retrospect that I am never alone ... even in the bleakest of situations. Everything has played out in my life in a perfect rhythm and the song is beautiful!!

Life will continue to happen, and how exciting it is that we have these weeks ahead to grow in our physical and spiritual health. What a precious and amazing adventure it is going to be Cheers!! Tara

Thank you both for your replies. Mellie, I've got 5 kids.

Continuing to look on the bright side, I can definitely say the house we're losing has been completely inadequate for our family anyway. We've outgrown it and then some by adding two more kids to the brood since we moved in. The folks we bought it from were less than honest about some of the "repairs" they did prior to leaving, so we've had troubles with wiring, mold, sink holes, and other things.

That place represents a time in our lives when things were not what they should have been, when poor choices were made and the tension and negativity was always near breaking point.

So leaving this house behind us is a powerful symbolic gesture in my mind. It is a farewell to the wrong way of thinking and acting, an escape from the negativity and poor choices. We'll be having a fresh start elsewhere, hopefully in a larger place that is more adequate for our needs as a large family.

It's also the first move we'll be undertaking with our adopted son. The oldest of our five is actually my wife's first cousin. He lost his mother some years ago and had been staying with his father's sister. It was a terrible, abusive environment. He was about to go into the public adoption system until his grandmother stepped in to try and gain custody. Sadly, she was diagnosed with cancer right after and so was denied. My wife and I took him in at that point, and he has since become well integrated with our biological foursome.

So now, he's going to be part of the move, instead of coming into an environment where things were already established. I think that will go a long way towards his personal security in our home. He's coming with us, he's one of us.

So there are many reasons to be excited and thankful. I, too, believe I'm here at just the right moment, Mellie. A lot of what I've learned from here coincides nicely with some other things I have going. I use Lucinda Basset's excellent anxiety and depression program to help deal with my panic attacks and health worries, and the message is very much similar: only a fundamental, inside-out change in how we look at ourselves and the world can truly heal these problems and make that healing sustainable. I feel blessed to be here and can't wait to make my first shopping trip for some better food choices.

One thing I've definitely learned and am trying hard to remember every day: the only thing we can always control is how we react to what happens around us. To a control freak, that realization is like a balm. We CAN always be in control - maybe not of the circumstances, but of how they affect us and our reaction.

Thanks again!

Everthing I have read so far is enlightening but, I can't seem to find the motivation to start anything. I know how stupid this sounds since obviously if I do nothing to change, I will remain lifeless..(and yes, that is how I feel right now). I just don't know how to start, and always fear that I'll end up giving up on the whole thing because I will never have enough money to accomplish anything. Losing my job and not being able to find another one is bringing me down, Big Time!....I find my self esteem and confidence is almost non existent. At other times, I feel ready and excited to be more positive and take steps to change but, it always ends with thoughts of "oh, what's the sense?, even when I was working I never had enough money to do anything but barely survive anyway." I'm so confused.

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Originally Posted by DENLEE599 Everthing I have read so far is enlightening but, I can't seem to find the motivation to start anything. I know how stupid this sounds since obviously if I do nothing to change, I will remain lifeless..(and yes, that is how I feel right now). I just don't know how to start, and always fear that I'll end up giving up on the whole thing because I will never have enough money to accomplish anything. Losing my job and not being able to find another one is bringing me down, Big Time!....I find my self esteem and confidence is almost non existent. At other times, I feel ready and excited to be more positive and take steps to change but, it always ends with thoughts of "oh, what's the sense?, even when I was working I never had enough money to do anything but barely survive anyway." I'm so confused.

When I try to make sense of everything going on in my mind, and digest the big picture of my life, it can be very discouraging at times and I find that I can fall into "analysis paralysis". For me, the only way out of this downward spiraling emotion is to take an action ... any action. It is not about the results of the action and where it will be taking me, it is about the "action" itself because then my perspective begins to shift. Here's a great way "to start" that your body will love ...

30 minute cardio scenario:
(Paraphrased from something Bill said)

Put shoes on your feet
Walk out your front door
Keep walking for 15 minutes
Turn around, walk back home
Done.

It works miracles for me.

Motivation has been an issue for me, too. I've been swept up in a side project that has consumed all of my mental energy and made getting started in earnest difficult. So, I'm going to make a to-do list and set some deadlines for myself to help keep me motivated. Lists and deadlines - for me those work wonders. I like to be organized and know what is supposed to be happening, and when it is supposed to happen.

Denleee, I feel your pain. I think a lot of people here do. And Tara's advice is brilliant and accurate. I sympathize with the job situation and I hope you find one soon. Have you taken advantage of sites like Monster.com? They're a big help.

Look at it this way: since you're in between jobs, it's a great time to devote some extra time to getting into shape. Once you're working again, you'll wish you had this kind of time, so make the most of it. Get up and DO. As Tara said, it's about the action, not the result. I've found that to be true in writing, too. If I'm stuck or don't feel motivated to write what I need to write, I just sit down and make myself write something. Anything. Even complete nonsense. It gets you into a groove and doing the right thing is much easier.

Hang in there, don't give up. You will find a new job, and you will find the motivation to get going with Bill's program. You CAN do it.