Kennie - that is great news!

I have the same issues with my family. They are all obese and I've kept my Transformation to myself for the most part. This weekend I will be seeing them all for the first time since starting my Transformation about a month ago...will they notice? Will they see the changes?

I'm sure we'll have WAY too much food (as usual) and I'm sure that 90% of it will be absolutely BAD for me. But, I've chosen to take my free day that day. Actually, I've chosen to take a free MEAL.

Now, it seems your situation is completely different as you get together 3-5 times a week. You are doing an awesome job - and I'm really glad they are becoming more supportive of you.

I have no problems eating out at restraunts every day of the week. I could find something on the menuethat works for me. Sometimes before I eat I ask for a container to go and I place half my meal in it and just eat what is on my plate. I know family reunions are tempting with all the ethnic food we grew up on. But get into the mindset you are in control. I am sure at the family events they are not putting food on you plate and watching you eat it.

Everytime I go to my mom's, she offers me up the bad foods she has to eat. Bacon cooked in grease, fried pork chops, breaded fried chicken breast, chips, coke, etc. I politley decline, saying "no thanks, I've eaten already, and I am full", and to be honest, I am not lying. I try to eat ahead of time.
For a longer term, you'd have to plan ahead of time and purchase foods, and make meal plans WITH the people you are staying with. Really, just be concerned with dinner. Making your own breakfast, lunches, and in-between meals should be relatively simple./ Get some eggs, egg-susbtitute, just eat right out of EFL. Maybe bring some shakes, make a sandwich. Stick to your diet.

So true. kennie

Hello there. It made me happy to hear you left when the meal was not healthy. That takes courage. My family makes meals all the time. If it's not good to eat. Don't eat it. I'll make a protein shake or get a salad out, or come up with an alternative. Basically it's pretty clear what I'm doing. It's been three months now and I've not seen their attitude changing one bit. Identify with you on stepping on toes. I've got people who say to take a free day all the time. It's not about that. It's about the life change and making good decisions. You could always take protein and a shaker bottle and just go in another room while they eat. Find it easy to carry the protein in a zip lock bag and have any kind of plastic bottle that you feel good with. Just add water or desired liquid and your protein. It's simple and really cheap. Or you could go to the fridge and find what you like. I've found you can't be self doubting about that. Just do it and don't worry about what they think. They did invite you, so they should understand. Also if they get in a mood don't fight with em just say okay or whatever and leave it at that. It takes two to fight just make sure you do it in a way that don't make them madder. Amen to the journey and good luck. Amen Tim.

Three quick thoughts.

1) Family

My mother-in-law will tell me how good I look and how proud she is of me and in the same breath tell me where the snack bowl is... My aunt is also proud of what I am doing, however, she still drops off huge bags of candy from the store she manages... My sister-in-law invited us over for dinner and asked me in a voice reserved for the terminally ill, "so, what kind of food can you eat?"

now, these people have known me for most of my adult life and for most of that, i already knew where the snack bowl was, would go and pick up that candy, and would eat anything and everything put in front of me. I have come to realize that I am the one changing and should not expect everyone to change at the same pace as me.
I think that a couple years down the road it will be like i have always been strong, in shape and full of energy. To my family I will not be transition mark, I'll just be Mark.

2) Friends

Like my family, my core group of friends have been with me for 20 plus years. At a bachelor party recently, a friend stumbled over to me and slurred out "why aint' you drinkin'?" When I said it's not a drinkin' day he said "well knock it off, it's freakin me out..." Another good friend (same age as me) passed away from alcoholism leaving behind a young family. We organized a fundraiser to help out and held it, of all places, a bar (talk about an Ironic twist on the rocks...)

To my friends, I'm Bubba, a nickname from when I was 14 years old and persists... In fact, some of my clan don't know my real name. Up until the last year, I was right their with em, one of the first guys at the party and one of the last to leave. I have to give them time to accept the person I am becoming. If they do, great, if not, that's fine to.
At the fundraiser, If you're drinking water or soda, they give you a big red plastic cup. As i mingled around that evening, I noticed a lot of red cups and spent the evening enjoying the company of friends I haven't seen in a while, telling them my story and listening to theirs. Fact was, the group itself was in the midst of change and growth, not all, but enough that I still felt accepted and comfortable.
My best friend invited me over to watch football and have chili yesterday. When I arrived He immediately grabbed me, dragged me to the kitchen to show off his latest chili creation. It was made with lean ground turkey, broccoli, zucchini, black beans, and a plethora of other healthy ingredients. It was the best chili I have had in a long time. As we talked, he told me how he was changing his diet and had dusted off his weight set and was working out with his 14 year old son.

Last night I realized that he wasn't changing for me or because of me, he was doing it with me. What a friend!

3) Strangers

My wife and I celebrated our 14th anniversary by going to our favorite restaurant. I had planned for the event and ordered the 8 oz.New York strip with baked potato and steamed veggies. The waiter was really excited to let me know that the 16 oz. Rib eye was the special for the evening and was the same price as the meal I had ordered... On a free day, I stopped at a take-n-bake pizza place for a Chicken Alfredo pizza (aaaah, sweet pizza...) I ordered a medium and the up-sell began, "for 3 dollars more, you can get the family size" she pointed behind her at a pizza pan the size of a semi-truck tire...

My weapon of choice for these situations is humor. I told our waiter that he should join us and he and I could split the Rib Eye, he laughed and brought us what we wanted. At the pizza place, I told the young lady that "my family size is medium, use to be extra large, but now we are happy mediums."



I have 10 months under my belt ( or off it, as it is) and a lifetime to go. People and situations will arise on a daily basis to challenge me and it is up to me to make every one of them a positive experience.

Just as you work and struggle to change, so is change a struggle to those around you. Grant them the same patience, forgiveness and positive energy you give yourself.

Love to all,
Mark

i think alot of people associate food with "love" and "taking care of you" so for family to see you change they think its great...but somehow their old tapes of how to love you revert back to..."I have his favorite food here..."

with time things will change.

so glad you are finding humor in the "upsells"

be happy with your big red cup. as you found out...you are not alone.

I also have some family that knows our eating plan and invites us for dinner stating the menu is based on eating for life. However, when we sit down for dinner it is a different story. Butter on the vegables, cheese on the potatoes, salt and other bad ingredients on the protein. When we ask about the ingredients she gets very annoyed and argues "it is part of the program." It is annoying to us and she gets very offended when we say something or if we don't eat it.