I have a team that I give daily posts to, to help encourage and inspire to make this amazing Transformation. Bill's Lesson's for Life out of his Success Journal are ALWAYS the perfect topics to use. This one in particular really hit me because I have experienced what he is talking about and can totally relate. I am sure it applies to so many others here, I thought I'd share it.

"To care for others, you must care for yourself."

People care about you and count on you. Friends, family and co-workers need you even more than you might realize. And in times of crisis and unexpected adversity, you'll be needed even more. It's important to realize that the extent to which you can care for and help others will be determined by how much you care for yourself. If your energy is low, and you're feeling weak and aren't living up to your potential, you may be inadvertently hurting others as well. Likewise, if you are healthy, strong and have energy to spare, you will be able to reach down and lift others up. Your physical and mental strength are improving every day as a result of your efforts. Please give yourself credit for making it this far. Please recommit to completing this Program with the understanding that this is one of the best things you can do to help not just yourself. but those around you!
Bill Phillips-Lesson for Life-Success Journal Day 61

I know this is true at least for me with my family. When I was down, depressed, hating myself, full of self pity and despair, my children suffered for it. They just wanted mommy. I was so not available for them mentally. I tried and thought I was giving them what they needed, after all, I loved them with everything I had and would give my life in an instant for any one of them, but seeing now the change I am experiencing with this Transformation, I realize how much I deprived them.

It devastates me at times to think of how much time I wasted and it scares me to think they won't forget that dark time. It's not like I abused them physically or even mentally, I just wasn't "there" for them. I would get home, the stress at extreme proportions and I would just want to check out. And, check out is what I would do. They felt like they needed to go to their Daddy for everything. They asked why Mommy was always so grumpy and yelled all the time. My heart breaks to think they lived even one day like that when it was undeserved.

I have a second chance and this program is what is giving that to me. I have really been working on our "Environment" and getting things taken care of around here so that I don't feel cluttered, overwhelmed and stressed. We did experience a Major adversity this last year and one thing it taught me is "Baby, don't sweat the small stuff!". It can always be worse. Look for the good out of the bad situations and use the bad as fuel to make it positive.

Even with the Major adversity we experienced, good is coming out of it! It brought me to this program we know of as BFL, which led me to this other program we are learning about called TRANSFORMATION. My life has been better in the last 8 weeks then it has been as far back as I can remember. I have faith, hope, love, forgiveness and Passion to "Be the Change".


Be available for those that need your help. Be an example to them. Be an inspiration to all those around you. Most of all, be there for yourself! Without your own inner strength, how can you be there for others? "Be the Change!"

Thank you to this entire community for your part in helping me get there. I appreciate each and everyone of you more then you can possibly imagine.

Deepest Gratitude,
Carolynn

Carolynn - don't stress about your kids "not forgetting that dark time".
You'll find that as you move forward , going from strength to strength and your lives continue to improve, you will all come to appreciate your new quality of life and improved relationships all the more - that's where your kids focus will be ... and that's where yours should be too !

What YOU look for, you will find ... if we look for evidence of how we have screwed up in the past, we'll find it easily enough ... if we want to beat ourselves up, we'll find plenty of sticks to beat ourselves with ... that B.S. helps no-one .... and we're back to not being available all over again as we look to and return to relive the past in regret.

We need to draw a line in the sand, stop looking back, put all of our energy into being the best we can be HERE & NOW - Be present and available to love those that need it ... nobody (including you and I) needs to be punished over and over and over again for a mistake made in the past.

We cannot love fully, whilst condemning (others OR ourselves) at the same time - it just can't be done ... if we take that path, EVERYBODY misses out.

Wishing you and your family an abundance of love, light and laughter - now & always !

Paul
:0)

Kids are resilient for the most part and the fact that your husband was there for them during your down time made the situation better than it was. It's nice when we have a partner there for us to pick up the pieces that we may occasionally drop.
Glad things are getting better Carolynn,
Troy

Carolyn - this is a beautful post. Thank you for cross-posting it in the land of T.com! I think your kids will be just fine and the beautiful light that you are shining now will overpower all of the shadows of the past!

I just posted something similar to this as my "Progress not Perfection" for yesterday! We can make a huge impact on everyone around us and we can choose to be positive or negative in everything that we do!

Love ya! m'wah!
Jan

"To care for others, you must care for yourself."

For years I was practicing this priciple in my work as a Bodyguard - I couldn't protect my charge if I didn't look out for hazards / avoid being reckless. I also have a couple of friends that are Fire Fighters (now THERE are some TRUE heroes !) ... never was that principle more evident than in what they do !

That has been the one saving grace for me. My daughters are young enough that I know if I continue to live as I have been and setting that example for them, all the bad, will just be a little glitch in their memory. I see the change in them already and it warms my heart, that they do love me and want to be with me and I didn't do permanent damage. Like I said above, it wasn't physical or even mental abuse towards them, I just wasn't there for them like I should have been doing fun mommy daughter things. That is changing now!

Thanks so much for your comments. I really appreciate it!

Like so much, even love starts with us changing the way we look at things - and the first place we have to look is at ourselves.

We often have to be willing to find self-acceptance and self-forgiveness to find self-love.

Why is healthy self-love so important ? ... Because we can't give what we don't have

Love is the same as any other great gift we are given - the same 3 principles apply ...

FIND IT - LIVE IT - GIVE IT !!!

Why is healthy self-love so important ? ... Because we can't give what we don't have

You got it Paul!!! Nail on the head!!

Why is healthy self-love so important ? ... Because we can't give what we don't have

Carolynn and Paul - I am there with you on that one.

Love - Light and Total Gratitude

Jaki