How Important Is It To Forgive People When We Feel We Have Been Crossed. What About Forgiving Your Self? What's Your Opinion On This Subject! I Look Forward To Hearing What You T- Commers Think!!! Have A Marvelous Day, Brett

Hi Brett,
I like this question. I have to say Yes it is important we forgive and No we should not have to if it really doesn't come from deep within the heart -Because then what happens is you develope a false sense of inner peace. Forgive when you are ready to forgive. I once made the mistake of telling an old buisness partner I forgave her for the demise of our business. Life went on and she was happy whenever she came around but emotionally I felt indifferent. It was really unfair to her. Needless to say, I harbored deep anger towards her and I would pretty much look for ways to avoid her. Verbally saying you will forgive is a good start. Just make sure you reach deep within your soul and truly forgive if you tell someone you have forgiven them. ~ Sarah ~

Forgiving others is the corner stone of be forgiven.

Yes, because when we think of these people it produces negative energy. Negative energy that will hold us back and cause more future problems.

“Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.“ ~ Unknown

YES, YES, YES

Forgiveness is a GIFT to ourselves, not to those that we forgive. When you refuse to forgive you are allowing the nasty little EGO to interfere with what is in your heart. You hold negative emotion and it only gets to YOU, not the other. You are giving that person MORE power of you by not forgiving. If you cannot forgive, it is sometimes helpful to find compassion first. After all, it someone wronged you it is most likely because they are unhappy. See if you can first have compassion.

Good luck! I think you are amazing. Give yourself the gift you deserve!!!!

It is critical Brett!

Bill has a great chapter in his book about this...Spectacular stuff (and I know you already knew that!)

Thanks for creating some group discussion!

Brett the forgiveness that I have experienced in this process has set me free from the prison of my own making. This past summer on June 28th the 3rd anniversary of my friend's disappearance I consciously granted forgiveness to her murderer(s) and when I did that it freed me from the entire trauma.

I am at peace now and when I arrived in January it was the opposite. Her murderer(s) were the last to forgive, I forgave everyone else back in February even God and myself. Now when things do happen I am ready, willing and able to process it and forgive right away. When I forgave her offenders though I broke down in tears because it was the first time I felt compassion and empathy for how much pain they are in every day of their lives because of what they did. I actually wept for them which shocked me.

So yes WE MUST FORGIVE for ourselves to make room for more light. Just my personal experience!

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT ASSIGNMENT 4 ( THE BIG FORGIVE) REALLY HIT ME!!! I FELT LIKE I HAD THE FLU FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS. I FORGAVE MY GRANDFATHER. IT TURNS OUT I WAS STILL HOLDING SOME EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE FROM MY PAST!!! THE 2010 TRANSFORMATION CHALLENGE WAS THE HARDEST THING THAT I'VE EVER DONE. I ALSO LEARNED MORE ABOUT ME!!!

Definitely Brett, It was tough, It was like lancing a bubble full of poison and then my body had to process it all, forgiveness really does set you free and Bill's method made true forgiveness possible for me when nothing else did. SO GRATEFUL!

I really enjoy your threads Brett

DO we need to forgive? We HAVE TO forgive! It's that simple. It's just one of those absolute truths that we must accept.

Yup... we have to forgive because it is only in truly forgiving someone can we truly accept forgiveness for the wrong we do. I believe this wholeheartedly. I was sexually abused as a wee little girl and again in my early teens. I never told anyone until after I had my kids. I harboured a lot of anquish towards that person and false blame to myself because I didn't know that really I hadn't deserved what I got like I was led to believe. It was in learning to forgive the people involved that I was able to see that I was abused and a victim of horrible choices. Forgiveness to me because of all that is like a key to open up so much that we hide behind. For some it is anger, always an angry person. For some it is depression, the world is alwyas dark. For me it was jokes about me. I used to want to make people laugh around me because then I thought there is no way they could hurt me. Silly hey. In forgiveness I learned to love thepeople who hurt me (they were all extended family) and could be in the same room as them. I have been able with 2 of the folks be able to tell them I forgive them. The other two won't even let me start to talk to them about it. It is never just one thing in our lives we have to learn to forgive. I believe in this step of forgiveness that Bill has truly unlocked for a lot of folks the biggest thing that holds responsiblity for poor self care. I know it was for me. I have an incident going on right now with my youngest brother who wants me dead. I am in a constant state of having to re forgive for the on going abuse that is happening. If we never learn to forgive then the wrongs in life pile up inside of us and our smiles or lack of shows the pain. I always go back to the roots of my faith now. God gave His son on a cross so that I could be forgiven for the wrongs in my life, how then can I hold back my forgiveness to others. Hard, but possible.

My dear Jackie I'm so sorry to hear about your present. You and I have a shared history of abuse as we've talked about before but I'm even sorrier you are dealing with family discord right now. Sending you prayers and strength to handle it with your new tools.

I'm wondering without knowing much about the situation but is it the hostility and threats from your brother or the fact that you are hurt by his actions which troubles you more? Reason I ask is perhaps some of Stoney's Impersonal Love along with forgiveness would help if he's hurting your feelings more than abusing you. Because if you can still love and forgive him without being attached or entangled in anyway you might feel empowered rather than presently abused.

Of course whatever he is doing is abusive but you get to choose whether you feel abused. Sending prayers for peace and harmony.

noo... Andrea it is all ok. Just the frustration of knowing what to do. Will write privately on this to you. Didn't mean to take the focus off forgivness. I am forgiving him on each step..that was what I meant to get across. Sorry Brett if I shifted it...didn't mean to Hugs Andrea will write later today

THE BEATELS SONG SAID IT BEST ''ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE ''

Quote:

Originally Posted by brettjamesdavis THE BEATELS SONG SAID IT BEST ''ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE ''

Ohhhh love that song!!!

Brett, great topic. I think its very important to forgive. I went through some issues last year that really took a toll on my well being, both mentally and physically and I found that once I was able to forgive what happened, I was able to begin healing and moving on in a more positive way. I was carrying this weight on my shoulders and it wasn't allowing me to free myself from the hurt and the pain. Once I was able to let go of the weight, I felt lighter and happier! Forgiveness is important in order for us to move forward in life. Sometimes it takes time to forgive but once you do, you'll feel so much better. ~Shannon

Hi Jackie. I love you! And you are always in my heart and thoughts!

There was a movie I saw once, a "Western" that I can't remember much about except for the scene where one of the main characters, a preacher, was being roughed up by the "bad guys." One of the bad guys slapped him on the right side of his face and asked him something like, "What does the Bible say about that?" The preacher said that Jesus said turn the other cheek.

The bad guy slapped him on the left side of his face! Again, he asked him, what did the Bible say about that? This time the preacher replied, "After that, the Bible doesn't say nothin!" And, he either drew a gun and shot him, or punched the guy out! Like I said, I can't really remember the scene.

Point is, in the movie, they got it wrong! Jesus said, in the King James version in Luke 6:29 "And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other." Many people assume, or really don't think about it, that, since we only have two sides of our face that we only need to "turn the other cheek" once to offer the other side. But that's not true! If someone "smiteth" us, we turn the other cheek each time, and we are suppose to forgive and offer the other cheek if they hurt us again, and then again even though it often is a lot more than the number of cheeks we have.

Jesus wasn't telling Christians that they should be wimps or doormats or certainly not that they should stand there defenselessly and let someone beat the crap out of them for no good reason! Nor was he talking about matters involing the criminal justice system. He was talking about not returning evil with evil, sin with sin. But using love and forgiveness to overcome the evilness that others used against us.
Much of what he was talking about in this message was how people persecute us for our beliefs and who we are, in this particular case it was to his followers about them being persecuted for their religious beliefs. Many of us have been abused in life and it is always, always enough times to make it almost the absolute truth that it's not because of who we are or what we believe or what we've done that's the source of the abuse, but it's because of what's in, or just as much, what's lacking within the life, heart and soul of the abuser. It's not us, it is them!

From the most horrible crimes of Murder and sexual abuse down to back handed slaps to the face both physically and with verbal insults such as racial or ethnic slurs, to running somebody down by telling them how "sorry" or "low life" they are, it's all about people who are really powerless over their own life, who have no control in what is happening TO them, seeking to gain it by taking power over someone else. When we refuse to grant them that power over us, by remaining in control of our own heart, mind, and spirit, and in our forgiving them, they can never get that power. Jesus taught that, so did Ghandi, and so many others. LOL, so did the ARMY and NATIONAL GUARD teach me in Riot Control classes, by refusing to give into our abusers, or even to those who merely insult us, and try to turn us away from our beliefs, we keep them powerless over us. And it makes us stronger in our resolve! And so does Bill teach us that here in Transformation. And that's why it is so important for us to treat them who "sin against us" with love and forgiveness, as Jesus did on the cross saying, "for they know not what they DO."

I don't usually "Preach" or bring religion into my posts but, I did learn this first in Sunday school. So, sorry if I offended anyone by my specifics.

Uncle Dave

For me forgiveness is essential to my daily walk with Christ.

Growing up my Mom always left us with a babysitter and when I was molested it really took a lot out of me, at first I thought it was my fault. As I got older I knew I had to forgive him but it was hard and as I continued my relationship with God I knew I needed to forgive him to experience a release in my life. It took me 30 years to finally let go and forgive and I feel a release from within.

Matthew 18:21-22
( Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. )
Until seventy times seven. That is, there should be no limit at which it shall be refused if it is asked in the spirit of sincere penitence. By reference to Lu 17:4, one can see the condition of forgiveness. It is that the offender professes repentance. We are to forgive men their trespasses on the same condition that God forgives us ours, and he does not forgive the impenitent. Our mercy must be just as unlimited as that of God.

Forgiving, has also been my challenge. thank you,
Brett

You are SO BEAUTIFUL Sarah! And, your simple words just now spoke volumes!

Love ya!

Uncle Dave