What would be your "future high points" ?

What would you do if you KNEW you could not fail ?

For many of us, if we dare to dream, we find that our "future high points" involve doing something either totally new and surprising to us or, more commonly, something we always dreamt we would like to do but dismissed it very quickly as being ridiculous and totally beyond our ability, talent, education etc

What I would say to you is this; FOLLOW YOUR HEART - FIND A WAY

Some would say that when we take "considered personal action", this is a result of either a pain or pleasure association. The consequence of whether or not taking action is either something that is too painful for us (e.g. not taking action will result in chronic bad health) or, conversely, it is associated with a great deal of pleasure (e.g. taking action will result in us gaining a healthy, fit & toned body, more energy etc).


There are other actions that can be fuelled by anger, fear and so on, but these are generally "knee-jerk" reactive responses and not "considered" ones (i.e. we don't weigh the benefits against the costs in an holistic manner).

I don't want to focus on negatives here about poor choices etc - what I want to talk about is "what keeps us from going for our high-points"...

... I'd suggest it's mostly FEAR.

Fear of the unknown

Fear of spending energy, time and money on a dream and not getting your desired result.

Fear that you're not going to be good enough or won't be acceptable / loved

Fear that you're not worth the investment in yourself in terms of time etc

And Fear of failure

We all have limiting beliefs about ourselves, but until we deal with
them head on, our lives will not be all they were intended to be for us.

So, let's deal with those fears one by one:

Fear of the unknown

The reason that most people get scared about doing something new is that (NEWSFLASH !) they've never done it before.

There's so much to learn. And whilst many courses can teach you how to do something well, they don't support you in "living it" every day thereafter.


Fear of spending energy, time and money on our dream and not getting our desired result

There are 2 very different investments here; the first is the energy, time and money investment and the second is the desire for a particular result. I don't want to start preaching at anyone here but if our goals are not tied to our ego and come instead from "a higher power" ( these dreams are placed in our heart by something greater than ourselves - not in our head, for a very good reason !) Then they are not "our" goals but our "mission" and we will not be the judge of the results.
Our mission in life may not be, as only one person, to change the entire world...but it may be, to change one person's entire world …. and what if that one person we help was to go on and become another Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa...or even another Bill Phillips ?!!



Fear that you're not going to be good enough

The fact is, the more we do something the better we get – and the better we get, the bigger the game gets (think of a student moving through grades and schools as their knowledge grows / think of the sporty guy moving from the backlot pick-up games, through amateur and on to professional levels & teams).
We learn from experience and our confidence grows.

So what is "good enough ?” The one thing I can absolutely, positively and categorically promise you is that the only person that can give you a lasting sense of being good enough is YOU. So the real question becomes, what do YOU consider to be good enough ?
Forget about acceptance, admiration, respect, “love” from others – you will NEVER have control other other people’s feelings, moods or actions.
Forget about “perfection” – if you were perfect, you wouldn’t be walking this earth !

“Focus on progress, not perfection” …




Finally, let's look at that Fear of Failure

This is something that only we have control over. We can be shown what to do, but we are the ones who must take action.

Let's be clear; we get what we focus on.
"The Secret" is nothing new - that information has been around for literally decades.
Let's look at Body-for-LIFE as an example:
This is why posting pictures of BfL-ers on our refrigerators, mirrors etc works so well in helping us succeed - we create an environment for success - we empty our cupboards of junk food, we watch the "Body of Work" and "Success Stories" DVDs a million times, we re-read Bill's book, old copies of Muscle Media, message boards, email and call other BfL friends and so on...we surround ourselves with positive influences, people and materials. Success isn't JUST about visualisation or having a Positive Mental Attitude.
Just like anyone trying to grow something wholesome and strong; you create the best possible environment for it and you feed it the very best nourishment.

With us, as people who want to live healthier and happier lives, it isn't just about food or even exercise...those options have always been there for us.

What has changed is the decision was made and we continue to make it several times every single day thereafter...motivation/"finding a big enough reason" is NOT something you just have to do once - you have to keep looking for new & bigger ones along the way, especially if you're going to keep truckin' after those 12 weeks...



"People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing -
that's why I recommend it daily"
(Zig Ziglar)



If you believe in the power of the universe or the power of prayer to give you what you ask for, you'll know that the more you focus on not having enough of something; not enough love, not enough money coming in, or looking stupid in front of your family and friends, that is exactly what you'll get.



Don't focus on the problem - focus on the solution.
Set yourself up for success.



DREAM BIG, DARE GREATLY & LIVE "FULLY-ALIVE" !

This is a wonderful post and has given me a lot to think about. At different times I struggle with different aspects of fear. Sometimes I have the dream and sometimes I want to curl up in a little ball. The trick, for me, is to keep moving and not succomb to fear paralysis. Maybe. If I had it all figured out......
Thanks for posting this.

Me, too. "Big Fear" would be my Indian name.

Mostly I'm scared of success, but there's all kinds of fears in there, you know? I just keep piling up the workouts and choosing good eats 90% and the fear is lessening. A little.

Thank you for sharing this!

I try to let go of all my fears on this Transformation, it's so hard! Fear control most of my actions, and I got all fears above Except for "Fear of spending energy, time and money on a dream and not getting your desired result."
I think if you spend time, money and energy on something you truly want, and don't get the desired result, at least you have tried, and you never have to think "what if?".

Wow! There was so much good information there! You really made me think. Not to go into all my dreams or goals, but I got to say you've helped me. I am going to start a plan of action. You're right I'm the only one that can hold me back!

Thanks Paul

Doyle

There's an exercise I do with some of my Life Coaching clients, which seems very appropriate to this subject, so I'd like to share with you all (and encourage you to do it, as soon as you get a chance).

I've come to call it "A visit from the not-so-grim reaper"!

Imagine that it is the late evening of your 110th birthday.
Your family; children, grandchildren, even great-grandchildren visited along with your dearest friends and you all spent the whole afternoon recalling stories, laughing, looking at old pictures, asking questions, swapping news and taking pictures before sitting down to have dinner all together - what a birthday party it had been !

The last of the guests left about an hour ago - you're tired and a little sore but feeling warm, very blessed and very happy.

You're just about to sit down with a cup of tea (or "RIGHT" nutrition shake!) when there's a cheerful knock at your door.

When you open the door, there stands a huge figure, dressed in a large black hooded cloak. You instinctively know who it is. Yet there is no sense of fear or foreboding - you knew he would call one day. You find yourself thinking "if you had to pick any day to call, then today seems like a very good day indeed, as is the timing".

His face is pale but surprisingly young and there is a genuine warmth in his wide smile that sparkles joyfully in his pale blue eyes. You sense a excited friendliness about him as he extends his cool but gentle hand and says;
"Oh wow...(Paul or whatever your name is)...man, I've been sooo looking forward to this evening.
I'm so excited to get the chance to finally meet you !
I hope you don't mind that I'm a couple of hours early, but I sooo wanted to chat with you, do you mind if I join you in a cup of tea ?"

You both go into your comfortable sitting room and, as you go to pour a second cup of tea, your guest occupies himself looking at all your framed photographs around the room (*picture the scene from "Titanic" - Rose as an old lady, surrounded by silver-framed photographs of her adventures in different parts of the world, throughout her lifetime).

As you return and he takes the cup from you, he says:
"You've had such an amazing life - I've actually been a huge fan of yours for years ! I mean, you have so many great pictures, so many stories, you've had so many adventures...you have such a treasure-trove of great times and memories. Do you mind if we sit for a while - I'd love to hear all about them; which ones were your absolute favourites ?"

You both sit and you glance around the room at all the pictures...a big smile spreads across your face - for a moment your tiredness and aches are forgotten, as you look back over your life and see the high points........"

What will your "high points" be as you look back?

This is awesome, I need to print this out
thanks!!!

AWESOME and I will print this out to and tape it to my forehead! LOL....Congrats again on TRANSFORMER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!! STAR JUMPS! love & Hugs,Laura

I really like that exercise of the Not So Grim Reaper...I am going to do that. I love exercises for self improvement....thank you, Paul.

Raider once again you hit it right on the head!

Awesome! Just awesome! Thank you it really helped.

Fear/Pain is the foundation for spiritual growth...grab onto it and find out ways to grow from it...away from it...or back to it with confidence and more awareness of LIFE! Love your writings! thank you!

if any of you have done this "Not-so-Grim Reaper" exercise,
perhaps you'd like to share some of your results ???

It's often easier to envisage our high-points by looking back on them from a hopeful future (top of the mountain), as opposed to searching for them on the horizon from a position of fear and self-doubt (the twisted valleys that weave toward the mountain, through the lowlands).

I'm putting it out there, facing the fear that you'll think I'm a bit weak, but...

That not so grim reaper is going to be darn impressed with ... the quality of human beings I nurtured. My photos will show my kids in various venues, at increasing stages of success and happiness, and bestowing myriad blessings on their fellow beings, creating a better world. They will grow up limitless, open-minded, calm and above all well-versed in the awesome, universal power of ONE person with vision.

I'll be in some of those pictures, too, looking like a hot, happenin' grandma with a BIG smile!