"Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight."
~Joan D. Chittister

For some time in my life, I lived (by choice) in a fog, a haze. In my step 18 assignment, I talked about what it was like and described it as though I was living behind frosted glass.I choose the hard road MANY more times than not. I fell and when I did, I fell HARD and always on my 'face.' I have experienced a whole heap of 'dark moments' but have come to the amazing realization, that had it not been for those moments of 'darkness' of adversity, I wouldn't have the kind of perspective and appreciation for the moments of clarity and light. I suppose its much like riding a roller coaster...you don't really know how far up you really are without the plunges back down before coming back up again.

The following, is probably one of the most inspirational and incredible pieces of writing. It was a speech given by Nelson Mandela. I think it SO clearly illustrates what I'm talking about with regards to the stark contrast of our 'light' and 'dark' moments. I wish it was something we gave to our children and read it to them over and over again, through all the days of their childhood.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of GOD. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of GOD that is within us. It is not just in some of us; is is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
~Nelson Mandela

We are ALL powerful beyond measure, regardless of circumstance or adversity. Those come and go, and they always will. Celebrate those moments of darkness...they are the ONLY things that allow us the opportunities to see just how brightly our light can shine. Don't be afraid!! You're GROWING!!! Just remember, like John Chittister says, 'not all growth takes place in the sunlight.' Just because its 'dark' doesn't mean your light has been snuffed out. And if it has, I'll gladly share some of mine with you.

Jenn ~ Love this. I have to be honest here. I have been hiding a bit for the last 2 weeks after finishing my Yummy Mummy challenge. Why? Because I get stage fright and don't like the spotlight! I'm a big chicken! [Ok...smaller chicken than I was 18 weeks ago!] Yep....i stepped back a bit because...horror...I was noticed! I was so used to hiding for all those years that all of a sudden I felt exposed. It felt like I was a big phoney. Goodness knows why? I did the work and had the results to show but I was still scared of being noticed. Has anyone else slipped backwards because they were so unfamiliar with the situation it was frightening. And then I had a message from Diane [anderdi] this morning whom i had never met on the site before. She told me she had been watching my profile for a number of weeks and thought I had done brilliantly. Also that you never know who is lurking in the background and desperate for the encouragement that 'you' provide. Well, that made me realize I shouldn't hide. How many times did I get encouraged by other people's results and lurk in the background myself? So this can be my moment of darkness from where I now grow in the experience. I was frightened of my own light and turned it to dim. Must be time to turn it up again and learn from this.

Love Sonya

What a fabulous post to start this Friday off right. I've definitely been feeling some darkness lately. Yesterdays gratitude post helped me turn it around. I even went to bed last night and ran thru my gratitudes and then did that again this morning. I am proud to say I had a super clean day of eats yesterday which is just what I needed to get back on track with things. Its amazing how much better I feel and sleep when I'm eating right but that sometimes knowing that isn't enough.

So today I am celebrating because my period of darkness is helping me to learn and grow. I think in the past when this would happen I would think that I FAILED and just give up. I haven't failed at anything. I may be delayed in reaching my goals but I will get there. One light or dark day at a time.

My Blog

I hope you all have a fabulous Friday.

Hi y'all! Today I have a heart of gratitude! I am really glad it is Friday and the end to the busiest week i have had in a while but it is really a blessing! If I wasn't so busy what else would doin?
I WILL get my before pics up this weekend pretty good week 1 for me so far.
Have a great Friday !

Well, the earthquake certainly shook things up here (pun intended!). We are 26 miles from the epicenter, so we definitely felt it! In fact, I was at work, under my desk, thinking to myself, "IS THIS WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO IN AN EARTHQUAKE???? OR IS THAT A TORNADO???" Hahahaaa!!! Either way, I'm fine. Our little town seems to be spared of any damage, but just a few miles up the road, Culpeper was hit pretty hard. The hardest hit area was Louisa County, which was right at the epicenter. The students were in school when the earthquake happened. Several schools were significantly damaged and a number of students lost their homes due to them being condemned from the damage.

So, this week, I have been in touch with the school psychologists there, sent out a blast email to all school psychologists in the state, and got a small crew of folks to go down to help them today as they address the staff, parents and students. Yay!! I was glad I could help them!! But, needless to say, I've been extremely busy trying to coordinate services.

So what have I been doing the last few days?? I've started P90X and boy am I sore!! It's definitely different than Insanity - the cardio is much less intense, but I am sore from all the lifting. It feels great!! I've also bee on track with eating and drinking my water.

I absolutely love this, Jenn!! Nelson Mandela's words truly touched my heart!! Seriously... why are we afraid of success????? I do this to myself over and over again. I make some progress, then I make an excuse and slip back to the starting point, my "comfort zone." Am I afraid of "the light" -- of my own success?? I really have to think about this one a little more.

Sonya - Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being so honest. For the most part, I love the spotlight (well, at least I think I do... after reading Nelson Mandela, who knows!?). But, you know with the spotlight comes attention. The attention could be a good thing, as long as we are going down the right path.... but if we slip, more people notice than ever before!! I think THAT is the scary part. What if we make all this progress, then slide backwards? Have we let people down? But like NM says, "Your playing small does not serve the world." If we are in hiding because we are afraid of our success (or failure after success), we are not serving anyone... not God, our families, this community, and most certainly not ourselves. And, BTW - your results ARE fabulous!!!

Debbie - SO GLAD you are out of the darkness, girl!! You are always a light to me every time I read your posts.

Jeremy - Can't wait to see those pics!!

Terri ~ Thanks! What you have said is so true. Now the song has popped into my head "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!" [Oh...I just realized I was bopping my head to the tune....must have imagined I was back at school in chapel service thoroughly enjoying the singing!....hand me the microphone and turn that spotlight this way!!] Glad you are ok after the earthquake and that you did your bit to get people rolling into action to help. Bravo!

Jeremy & Debbie ~ I enjoy reading your posts. Thanks for your presence here. I do read everyone's snippets when i pop in here but don't always have time to comment on everything. It does make a difference reading what you have to share.

It's already the weekend here in Oz! And it's raining. That's good though because we put grass down last weekend and we have had rain on and off all week. I've been waiting 5 years for my lawn!!!

Have a great weekend ahead troops.

Love Son

Such a beautiful message. Thanks for this

Jenn,
I have always loved that quote, I just showed it to my daughter and told her I was going to put it on her wall. I don't think she understands it yet but I will keep working on her.

Sonya, glad your stepping into the light girl, you inspire all of us.

Jeremy, I will watch for those pics.


Tami

Sorry its SO late today!! I had one of 'those' kind of days. Both boys had dental appointments with a new dentist, so they BOTH needed new xrays and then the exams and finally cleanings. So we were at the dental office for almost 4 hours today. YEAH....with Hayden wanting to run around and touch EVERYTHING!! I almost lost my mind with that little man. I'm glad i have patience and brought 'distraction' things for him. I still can't believe it took so stinkin' long, though!!! No more dental visits for 6 months...thank goodness!!

Other than that, we visited a FANTASTIC private school this morning, that I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to send both my boys to, but unless financial aid comes through, its just not even in the realm of possibilities. ::sigh:: The public schools here in Vegas SUCK. I really hate to say that so generally, but they do. And we have incredibly gifted little people. Parker already discovered that hes SO far ahead academically, and hes become a discipline case. I know that will continue and only get worse if we keep him in public school. Fingers crossed...

Sonya- You know that I just ADORE you!! You have done INCREDIBLY with your transformation in your yummy mummie group and I'm so PROUD of you, girlie!!! Sometimes, being in the spotlight, especially when its something we're just not accustomed to, can really have the potential to throw a serious monkey wrench in progress. Take a deep breath and first of all...ENJOY being talked about!!! You SO deserve it!!! Secondly, remember that this is forever and always a process. Sometimes we take 2 steps forward only to take 3 steps back, but at least we're still taking steps. Focus on your perspective and keep moving forward!!!

Debbie- I love that!! We DO need to remember, that sometimes, our most important growth, actually takes place in moments or times of 'darkness.' I know that is DEFINITELY true for me. Good for you for realizing that, and pressing forward!! Grow baby, GROW!!!

Jeremy- YAY for a GREAT and productive week!!! Can't wait for those pics either!!

Terri- Glad you guys are all ok. WHEW. Its pretty nuts how things are happening on that coast line. I will continue to keep those affected in my thoughts and prayers. This is certainly another one to add to my own gratitude list. I am grateful that we live in an area that isn't affected by this kind of natural disaster. (its just HOT all the darn time here!!!) Bless your beautiful heart for helping out there!!! ((HUGS)) Keep kickin' butt with that P90X!!

Tami- YAY!! LOVE IT!!! Some day, she will. And she'll thank you for that!! Hope everything is still going well for you and that newly cleaned fridge!!

Well...I'm off to post the weekend thread, and then enjoy some healthy popcorn with my hubby as we watch a movie. Gotta LOVE Fridays!!! See you all tomorrow!!!

Have a FABULOUS weekend!!

~Jenn