Bill Phillip's | Transformation

A11 – Giving Up the Fight

“Half of getting what you want, is knowing what you have to give up to get it.”

When I reflect on this, I see two important parts to it. First, knowing what I want and what Transformation means to me. Second, knowing what am I willing to give up to get it.

What do I want?

I want to live feeling balanced and spiritually connected.

I want to continue on my path of recovery and sobriety

I want to feel strong, healthy and full of energy

I want to empower others with my example and help them see how they too are capable of reaching incredible goals.

I understand this list might not be specific or quantifiable, so they might be hard to be classified as goals. To me they are more like a journey than a destination and regardless of semantics (goal or not goal), that is what I would like to get out of my Transformation experience.

What am I willing to give up to get it

For me this is a *vital* and fundamental step. In fact, I learned through pain and disillusionment, that unless I took this step with heart and soul, I would have a hard time moving forward.

I grew up internalizing the concept that *I* had to control my life and most of what affected me, if I ever wanted to be successful in life or get to be “someone” someday. As I went through different stages in my life, I turned into a control freak; accumulating college degrees, professional certifications, trophies in sports.

In a way, these could serve as testimony, that I am a very determined person, but on the other hand, that control gave me a false sense of personal pride and a short sighted view of Life. The interesting thing is that It took the loss and surrender to the biggest fight I have ever fought so far, to realize that I have very little control over the majority of things in Life. That was the fight to control my alcohol addiction on my own. Only until I surrendered to the fact that I had a problem and I needed help from “others” and “something” other than myself, that an incredible process of self-discovery and healing started to take place.

I learned that in order to continue the Transformation journey, I needed to immerse myself in a positive and nourishing environment. This applied to the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of my life. It meant first and foremost, giving up poisons that I had been putting in my body like garbage foods, refined sugars and alcohol, that were destroying my body, affecting my life and the life of my loves ones.

It meant giving up lies and confronting the truth by making an inventory of what I had done to myself and to others.

It meant giving up self hate or other negative thoughts towards myself and embracing self-forgiveness and self love.

It meant surrounding myself by positive and supporting environments like the rooms of AA and the Transformation.com community which are invaluable and empowering forces in my life.

It meant giving up excuses and laziness, while embracing concepts like “The Power of Taking Action Now” or “Now is the best opportunity to do things right.”

In retrospect, it has been a great evolution. I started from trying to control how many pounds and inches I was going to loose per week, to a level where I could simply focus on taking little steps each day; while having faith that the result would be a healthier body and a happier more balanced look upon life.

Going a step further, I had to learn to take action and step out of the way to let things take their own course, because the Universe does not revolve around my perceptions and limited view of my world. I cannot control the seasons. I cannot control the traffic. I cannot control the way my boss thinks or how people around me react. I can offer help and guidance based on what I think is the right direction. But I cannot cure someone or force the person to take a path. It would be foolish of me to think that I am that powerful.

I am still in recovery. Please do not get me wrong. This is a journey that I will gladly continue living by taking the opportunities and gifts that I receive every day. In the meantime, I need to remember that I can only control my actions, so they move me in the direction I think I should go to. AND THAT IS IT! The more I understand and internalize that truth, the more liberating and empowering it is!