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sunlightandshadows's Blog

Directions

I attended a fantastic two day course last week - Directions. The course is for people who through ill health or diagnosis of a long term condition have either been out of work for a while or have found that they need to change direction - work/career wise.I chose to go on the course - even though I'm not quite in the space for being back at work yet - but I don't want to waste time - so I will take any positive information now - to help me stay ...

November 18, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Words Of Wisdom

I recieved this email this morning and it arrived at the perfect time - some nice little reminders and words to stir the soul. I'm not sure where it originated - but the thoughts are worth sharing.1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone.I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers.&...

November 17, 2008 | comments (2) | Just Sharing

This Too Shall Pass!

A special friend from T-com sent me an email telling me to wake up as I had not posted for a while.I had been trying to wait as after my good night of sleep - it has gone from bad to worse - the back pain is now with me most of the day aswell - even a hic-up hurts! Sleep has been lacking and stress has been trying to get a hold of me.None of this has been helped by the fact that I have builders in my house - doing the roof - that is ok now that t...

November 13, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

I Slept!

I Slept! - Now this may not sound that awesome to some - but this was what feels like the greatest gift. I'm not sure if it was the accupuncture or the Healing - It may have been both and I am not questioning - but whatever it was - I slept for about 5 hours, no pain - in fact I even turned over in my sleep and that has been something I haven't been able to do for a while.What makes it more amazing was the fact that at the moment where I live the...

November 9, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

Just an update - nothing special

This week has been one of lots of new things. It has seemed strange not writing my blog more often - I had just become aware that I really was becomimg a T.Com Junkie!The doctor no longer thinks that my appendix is grumbling - just puts it down to inflamation due to the stomach bug - so that is good news. I have had my first two sessions of Accupuncture - interesting experience, it was ok and I am very open to it working.A friend of mine als...

November 7, 2008 | comments (4) | Progress not Perfection

Not the Obvious Transformation I had Dreamed of - but maybe Better!

The past few weeks - maybe 6!. I have had some emotional struggles with the fact that my initial dream for this Transformation process - was not how it was turning out - life was throwing some curve balls that were moving me away from my initial goals - but I am not taking it as a negative - I have actually grown in other ways that are probably more lasting and long term - setting me up with stronger foundations for a healthier and happier future...

November 2, 2008 | comments (8) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Awesome Day!

My day started at 2am - I woke up in a lot of pain and thought - not again. For once I gave in and took some painkillers - I rarely do that. I managed to get another couple of hours of semi-sleep.BUT - That was not something that set the mood for the day - I woke up and went throught the normal rituals of getting myself out of the house - It is much easier, day by day - the fear of doing new things is slowly getting less and my confidence is incr...

October 31, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

Taking a Leaf out of Laura's book

I signed in and the first thing I saw was Larua's new smiley face! and then I read her blog and thought - I need a dose of that.I have been to the Physio and the doctor today - the physio for just the usual stuff and trying to work out why I was losing use in my right arm - turns out it is a Frozen Shoulder (also called adhesive capsulitis) - so the positive is that at least I know I am not going crazy and the good thing is to have a diagnosis - ...

October 30, 2008 | comments (3) | Uncategorized

Looking from the Outside In

I have just sent an email to a T.Com friend and bursting in to my head came the desire to write about 'Looking from the Outside in'. Where it came from i have no idea - but I am going to trust that it will be the right thing for someone to read today and be just the thing that helps.When I did the little bit of Life Coaching Training, last year, I found one technique absoloutely amazing. If someone comes across a situation where they really seem ...

October 28, 2008 | comments (6) | Just Sharing

A Little Miracle and more!

I just wanted to share this little miracle that landed on my doormat this morning.Another sign that the Law of Attraction Works!Since I stopped working in August finances have been really, really stretched  - but I have refused to get majorly stressed over them. Having a faith that money would find its way to me at the right moment. I have been being careful with my finances, things like putting an extra jumper on, rather than turning the he...

October 25, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

Amazing Day

A few weeks ago I was having problems with connecting to the internet - I was trying to access my emails, but no matter what I did they weren't coming up - in the end I was clicking in frustration - suddenly the page linked to below came up http://www.law-of-attraction-made-fun.com/aboutme.htmlThere in front of me was a face that I knew - The gentleman, Mike, was an old work colleague with whom I had had some very interesting and enlightenin...

October 24, 2008 | comments (3) | Change

Faith and Gratitude

If someone were to ask me if I was Religous - My answer would probably be no - BUT - I have a really strong Faith.If someone were to ask me if I were Spiritual - I would answer Yes - because I have a strong faith.I don't know where the line of distinction merge or become different. I'm not too sure that I know how to put it into words.I struggle with Religion - not because I don't believe - but because sometimes in my life I have experience Relig...

October 23, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Taking Steps Forward

Today I had a really possitive appointment with a company called Pathways. The lady that I saw, Georgina, was so helpful. The idea there is that they help pepole to get back into work after illness, to find new careers, to find and access training, etc.I decided last week that I really wanted to ask for as much help from as many areas as possible. I understand now that part of the reason for feeling low is that I feel I have lost my identity - th...

October 22, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

Letting go and Opening Up!

I make no apologies for the ramblings of the following post - this is something that sub-consciously I have been stuffing back into a box and telling myself that because of some of the things I have learnt and accepted in this journey and in the months before that - that really it was not something that should bother me any more.But no matter what lessons I have learnt the hurt is still there burried deeply and every now and again it rises to the...

October 20, 2008 | comments (6) | Just Sharing

Changing Plans!

I have had (and still have) the stomach bug from hell during the last week. Meaning that leaving the house has been a bit of a big NO! Eating has been only when the hunger pangs have been too great to ignore. I have tried the starvation thing to get rid of it - but to no avail. Yesterday I actually had a day where I didn't leave the sofa! I have been bored and really fed up - I don't like doing nothing! So on saturday I decided that I needed to c...

October 20, 2008 | comments (2) | Change

Realisations = Action ?

 "We are more often frightened than hurt, and we suffer more from imagination than from reality"Seneca - Roman PhilosopherDuring this journey I have had many realisations, acceptanaces, habbit breaking, thought shaking, life altering, earth shaking 'Ah-Ha' moments. Things have clicked into place in my mind that have - at the point of them occuring - made me feel on cloud nine, as though the world really is my oyster, as t...

October 17, 2008 | comments (6) | Progress not Perfection

The 'Yo-Yo' Effect.

For as long as I can remember my life has felt as though it were a Yo-Yo going up and down -often the momentum of going down with such speed would bounce me back up to amazing highs - but also Low - Lows!Those awesome highs would provide memories of confidence, creativity, laughter, love and great self esteem. They were like saving positivity in a bank for the desperate lows. The highs were memories that I could draw on in times of despair.I...

October 16, 2008 | comments (3) | Progress not Perfection

Another Step Forward

I have mentioned before that in May last year I signed up for and paid for a Life Coaching course - and that then my panic got a big grip on me so I put it on the shelf and left it there. A short while ago (in the last few weeks) I opened up the course work again and panicked again!Back it went on the shelf - but this time I took another step forward. I wrote to the course providers and told them the truth about my panic and well I was just open ...

October 14, 2008 | comments (5) | Progress not Perfection

Irritation - Good or Bad

Just Thinking - Thoughts yet again rambling through my mind - positive ones!This track of thought has come from reading Paul's (Gloomraiders Blog) Is something that irritates us good or bad. Now when we are actually there 'in the moment' of the irritation we can think that it is bad, annoying, frustrating, etc - and if the same thing happens again and again - then it can become more than an irritation.There is another way to look at it ...

October 14, 2008 | comments (5) | Just Sharing

Challenging the Fear

I woke up this morning and thought that it is a New day and the world is my oyster! I had those thoughts but I did not feel them - there was a slightly louder voice in my head that was clamouring to be heard. Thoughts like 'who are you kidding' - 'be realistic what are you going to do that is different' - 'at the end of the day you'll look back and nothing will be different' - 'it is safe at home' - 'change can happen at anytime, why do it today,...

October 12, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

What is Real?

I have travelled quite a distance internally since I started the Transformation process - in reality I actually started quite a few years ago - yet I still live with many 'buts' in my head - I have a thought and then it is 'but' this and 'but' that. A fear seems to come over me in waves - it is debhilitating and totally negative. It creeps up on me and before I know it - I am staying still or moving backwards. The thing is that I recognise it now...

October 11, 2008 | comments (2) | Progress not Perfection

Stagnant!

Stagnant!I think that that is an appropriate word for where I feel I am at the moment - or at least how things feel. On the inside - who I am has changed so much - on the outside - well after the last few weeks of anti-biotics and not a lot of exercise I feel as though I have lost the little bit of definition that I had made.But that is not bad - that can be turned around. Where I feel stagnant is in 'my purpose'. what am I meant to be doing? Ok ...

October 10, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

New Eyes!

Discovery isn't as much travelling to new landsas it isSeeing them with New EyesAnonymousMore often than not I now wake with 'New Eyes' - my outlook is changing - as yet it is not 100% of the time - but any per-cent is better and a step forward.My thought processes are changing, automatic thoughts are more positive and creative - and when they aren't - I am aware of them. So all of this is simple but strong progress.It is though I am seeing the w...

October 8, 2008 | comments (5) | Progress not Perfection

The Power of Our Stories

I have had quite a bit of time to think during this last week - quite a lot of time in which I have felt I was not moving forwards - as there was nothing solid in front of me to see, touch, feel.Then I realised I was just telling myself another story - I was looking for something physical to see - I surpose the reason for 'needing' to actually be able to see something was  that I had something others could see (to show that I was not being l...

October 7, 2008 | comments (5) | Growing Inside

Just Being

Let Tomorrow be a Different DayLet Tomorrow be a Stronger DayLet Tomorrow be tomorrow - as all there is - is Today - Now - This Moment and instead of saying and thinking Let Tomorrow be ........................ Why not say Let Now Be - Let this moment Be.Ok - this is going to probably be a waffleing blog - but my fingers are doing the walking and the talking. Two blogs in the last 24 hours have stirred me. Yesterday just after I had posted my blo...

October 3, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

Just Thinking!

And The Day Came when the Risk it took to Remain tight in the budbecame more painful than the Risk it Took to BlossomAnais NinStrange - but this quote found me yesterday - I really do mean found me, I didn't realise at the time but I was looking for something - but probably with closed eyes! - By that I mean I know that I want to leave the old me behind, I keep having 'Ah-Ha' moments. I keep having big realisations - and such wonderful feelings o...

October 2, 2008 | comments (5) | Just Sharing

Blogging and Me!

In my blog I try to be me - I write my words just as they come to me in feelings at the time I am tapping away at the keyboard. Sometimes my mind wanders off track and I think of other things I want to share and sometimes I lose the moment - but I just type away and let the words out. I have a strong belief and trust in the fact that there is a reason for sharing - that it will help someone else - I do love writing so much and T.com is giving me ...

September 28, 2008 | comments (3) | Just Sharing

I'm relaxed and chilled in my 'New Space'!

When I woke this morning I felt like I wanted to do something - but could not decide what. For a while I felt a little frustrated. I probably wasted an hour or more doing 'odds and ends' - but not really making any progress anywhere.I have had a job that has needed to be done for a few weeks - sorting out all of my business stuff for selling - I started a few weeks ago - in fact I did more than 75% - but the last litle bit was taking it out of my...

September 27, 2008 | comments (7) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Communication - same language - differtent interpretation.

In the last few days I have actually had contact with both of my sisters. They only live about 100 miles away and we do the normal family things like a Summer B-B-Q, time together at Christmas and the odd phone call. Usually it is my sisters that call me. It is not that I don't care - it is just that I still struggle with phone calls. (something left from my marriage).I am the youngest of Three girls. My oldest sister has a really great understan...

September 26, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

There is no conceit in Accepting That YOU are Special

We all special ~ every single one of us. No one is better or worse, worth more or less ~ We are all unique and individual.Yes I struggle with believing that about myself. I am happy to say it (and mean it) about anyone else - but if I am honest I find it hard to mean it for myself. That will change slowly, I am working on it!I had the most wonderful conversation with one of my sisters this evening - another Law of Attraction in Action moment...

September 25, 2008 | comments (4) | Growing Inside

Wise Words and Planning

Tomorrow is a new day - but I'm not going to wait for tomorrow - I am going to start now.I have just been talking to someone very wise and insightful. And he - in 30 minutes- talked more sense to me than I have to myself for days! (some of it years).I admitted that this morning I was a total emotional mess - it was more of this yo-yoing emotion stuff. This gentleman (and I mean that Gentle Man) gave me this amazing analogy. I can't remember the w...

September 24, 2008 | comments (6) | Growing Inside

Positive or Negative - Just Trusting

The last few weeks have thrown up quite a few negative feelings at moments when I was not expecting them - they seem to come from nowhere and blind me for a while. But also in the last few weeks I have had some of my greatest moments - feelings of discovering a new way to live and to feel. In the past - as stated before - these could leave me down for days, weeks, months on end. So there is progress as now I seem to be able to pick myself up a lo...

September 24, 2008 | comments (2) | Progress not Perfection

The Power of Changing our Words

I hope that you have 5 minutes to spare - I really am just sharing a link that was just sent to me - I have just watched this video clip and it seem so 'right' to acompany assignment 12 - that I just had to share it. http://www.adnstream.tv/video/nilSqaMboM/HISTORIA-DE-UN-LETRERO-THE-STORY-OF-A-SIGNPlease watch to the end - I have to admit that I nearly clicked away from it - but once the meaning became clear I am so pleased I took the time.Love ...

September 23, 2008 | comments (6) | Just Sharing

Just Sharing

Just sharing an email that landed in my inbox - and made me think. Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.  Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting.' Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts.  They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She...

September 23, 2008 | comments (7) | Just Sharing

Talking in Positive Language

Today I had an appointment with the physiotherapist. She is slowly getting used to me and the terminology that I use.At the first appointment that I had with her I explained that I don't use the word pain/painful - I use uncomfortable - I explained that I always play the syptoms down and often use words like dis-comfort. I tried to explain that if I use less negative descriptions I am programming myself to be less affected by the symptoms.So toda...

September 22, 2008 | comments (2) | Progress not Perfection

Two Free Days!

I'm cheating this weekend - I am taking two free days - and actually I am proud of it.I find it really hard to relax - or sit back and do nothing. I always seem to need to be doing something - keeping my mind busy - as I have had a need to feel in control of my life. I think it stems back to having 'been controlled'.I have also struggled (well documented in my blogs!) with the diagnosis of Osteoporosis. I felt that it was taking control of me - a...

September 21, 2008 | comments (7) | Progress not Perfection

TRUTH brings discussion..discussion brings answers and answers bring HOPE

'TRUTH brings discussion..discussion brings answers and answers bring HOPE'A quote from Laura's Blog yesterday. This sentence has been going round and round in my head. It is so simple - so true and yet when you look into it really deeply there is so much more to it.My initial thought was why do we make life so complicated - when in reality - if you look at the words above it could and should be so simple. Then there is that quote - I can't remem...

September 20, 2008 | comments (2) | Just Sharing

That Special Magic That touches My Soul

This journey into the unknown has brought many feelings and emotions into my life - The most special of which is A Special kind on Magic that touches my soul - right to the core - that lights up my eyes and makes every cell in my body feel energised.It is the most awesome feeling that leaves me buzzing for minutes, hours, days.I know that in my blogs I also share the days of the 'slump' - but that is because I want to tell my journey ho...

September 18, 2008 | comments (4) | Growing Inside

What comes after a breakthrough?

What comes after a breakthrough?I don't know if this happens to anyone else - but I thought I would broach the subject.When I have some sort of eye-opening - breathtaking breakthrough, I feel on top of the world - as though anything is possible - as though the world is my oyster - well just fantastic. Then I have a few days where everything runs like clockwork and I could be floating on a cloud ........................Then a slump happens - it ju...

September 17, 2008 | comments (10) | Just Sharing

Weighed at the gym! Progress

I have just come back from the gym where I was weighed and had my body fat measured.I weigh 107lbs and my target is 105lbs and my body fat has gone from 29.9% to 25.5% So I am really pleased.My starting weight was 110.9lbs - So I haven't lost much - but I have dropped a few % in body fat - so that is really great.My aim is to get to 22% body fat - The one place I really want to lose it is my mid section - but I find doing exercies for that diffic...

September 16, 2008 | comments (11) | Progress not Perfection

Removing the Layers

The last few days have been really illuminating - eye opening and at times deeply soul wrenching. I have not really spent anytime visiting anyone eles blog and I apologise for that - but spending time slowly peeling back layers that I didn't know were there and really trying to work out what is 'my real' and what is programmed from layers of other peoples input - well it is quite a journey.I think I put in yesterdays blog that I had discovered th...

September 15, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

I Have decided I am Moving!

Yesterdays break through carried on - it was not just a few minutes and a few words written on a log and that was that. I took some time to really think about areas that 'the programming' had effected me. I have honestly felt for the last few years that I was aware of all of the effects of the emotional abuse in my marriage - I felt that I was aware and gradually making changes.But - (and I am not playing the victim card here - i'm just putting t...

September 14, 2008 | comments (8) | Growing Inside

Breakthrough - Oh Yes!!!!!!!!

Second blog for the day - and a positive one. About an hour ago I had a massive breakthrough! Totally massive.Ok - this week has been a tough one - well the last 10 days in fact. I have doubted myself and this morning let go of a secret that was internally threatening to destroy my confidence - I was fighting it - I put it in the blog - don't know how well I managed to put it across but it had been getting louder and louder this week so I just de...

September 13, 2008 | comments (8) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Just Rambling and Letting Go

Ok today for me is about letting go - someone very sensibly said last weekend that weekends are quiet and so you can get it all off your chest and very few people are about to witness it!I have been on T.com for a while now and everything I post is as it feels in the moment and is open, honest and true - I may contradict myself at times - but I'm female! so I think it is allowed.In all of my blogs and all of my conversations with anyone over the ...

September 13, 2008 | comments (8) | Just Sharing

Seeing is Believing - Having Faith - Opening Your Heart

 Below is a story that arrived in my inbox this morning - It lifted me and reminded me - Seeing Is Not BelievingI'm on a cruise in Mexico with 1800 people who came to hear Bob Proctor. As I leave the main theatre where Bob is presenting, I notice a man standing in the back with a white cane. He asks me if there is a restroom nearby. I say: "Let's go find one."I take his right arm and introduce myself. He says: "My name is Deni...

September 12, 2008 | comments (9) | Just Sharing

Just Clearing Something Up - I think!

This is just a really quick post to clarify something from my blog yesterday and an apology if anyone took offence. No one has said anything - it was just that when I read it back through I honestly felt it could have been mis-interpreted.When I said that I really did not like being pregnant (in fact I may have put it stronger than that), I definately did not mean that I did not want my children - My Children are the best thing that have eve...

September 11, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

A Bad Day but I'm not feeling sorry for myself!

Ok - Today has been one of those days where you learn from the painful stuff. It was a reall 'naff' day. Some may guess what I had to do - for the rest of you please just believe me it was not my best day. But those hours and minutes are gone - they will never come again - and I can choose to learn from them - or I can let them effect me in a negative way. I hope you all know which I am choosing - Yep you're right I'm going to wallow in it! - Opp...

September 10, 2008 | comments (6) | Just Sharing

Is Thinking and Knowing Enough?

I have been sitting here and pondering life in general. At the moment I seem to be experiencing so many things - discovering so many things and having that feeling of 'I knew that deep down' - yet even though I had known and thought things in the past - like the need to make changes - that is as far as I had got - a thought - an acknowledgement of knowing - but no action!I would consider myself to be fairly bright and articulate - yes I have my d...

September 9, 2008 | comments (4) | Growing Inside

Sorry - Not Writing A Blog Today!

Yep - I am going to break my trend of posting each day and use the time to visit other peoples blogs - so if you would like me to drop by yours just say and I would love to visit - I will accept your invite!Have an amazing weekLove - Light and GratitudeNamasteJaki ...

September 8, 2008 | comments (5) | Progress not Perfection

Miracles On T.Com

I have just read Paul's Blog for today (gloomraider) and yet again the miracle of words on this site have touched my life. Please if you haven't seen Paul's blog yet - do take a few minutes to visit it and watch the youtube clip.So many times there will be life issues or areas that I would like to work on - and I come online and the next blog or forum that I click on has a piece of the puzzle that I am searhing for - or there is a question or com...

September 7, 2008 | comments (8) | Growing Inside

A Gift - From Me toy You

Well I just wanted to do something Positive - So in spare moments here and there I have put together a little video (powerpoint show) of Inspirational QuotesUnfortuantely it is a bit big to upload to the site videos - So I have put it on YouTube.Just Wanted to Share and hoped it would make you smileLove and Light and GratitudeJaki :)...

September 7, 2008 | comments (2) | Videos

Being True To Myself -Part of Assignment 11

From Assignment 11 'And it means that the battle is over. You don’t have to fight with yourself to make transformation happen. This is not a battle. It’s not a war. There’s nothing to push against. For we know that truly, what we resist persists. Because we want to improve the condition of our lives, it might be a real good idea to move above and beyond our old way of doing things. We don't have to fight our old way. W...

September 6, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Being Authentic

What does being authentic really mean to you? This is not going to be some enlightening blog - just the thoughts and words that are going through my head.I have been sat here for the last half an hour wondering what I was going to write today. I am a half full person - not a half empty one. So in every situation I try to turn it round to find a positive.When I write here on my blog - or any comment to anyone, it is not just to fill a gap or ...

September 5, 2008 | comments (6) | Growing Inside

Letting Go

I have been a bit distant on the site this week - some other things going on. I wasn't going to write again today - I was looking for a little peace and space - time to let go. But I was drawn back to the site - when all I would really like to do today is curl up in a ball and pray for some peace in a situation I can do very little about.Some here may put two and two together and realise what I am talking about. I am having to sit back now and le...

September 4, 2008 | comments (5) | Just Sharing

Just checking In

Life at the moment is holding some cards that are throwing me through a bit of a loop - and I have to admit that my exercise and food routine has gone out of the window a little bit.I still went swimming yesterday morning but my meals and water took a bit of a back seat and yes I had a chocolate biscuit - I did enjoy it - but I felt like a cheat and regreted it afterwardsToday I have some things that are going to alter my routine - but I will be ...

September 3, 2008 | comments (2) | Uncategorized

Is This Me?

Thoughts going through my head - left and right. I am gaining a confidence that I really did not know I had and today I was thinking about who I am and who I am not.I am no longer the 'scared little mouse' I am no longer afraid to have an oppinion of my ownI am more confident about going outI am becoming more organisedI am eating healthilyI am taking care of my bodyI am helping my mind to grow in positivityI am challenging the pastI am embra...

September 3, 2008 | comments (5) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Restoring My Faith in Men!

Ok - I apologise if anyone takes offense at my headline - But I mean it.T.Com has had an un-expected knock on effect in my life.I have said it in previous blogs - but here I go again - and as usual i'm just stating how it was and not feeling sorry for myself or seeking sympathy - in fact today I am feeling great - Totally great (except for my daughter giving me an unwanted gift of her cold!) I consider myself to be a survivor of an emotionally ab...

September 2, 2008 | comments (4) | Growing Inside

Re - Visiting Assignment 2

 I am slowly re-visiting each of the assignments and 'upping my TEN' - I'm having fun playing with powerpoint and creating little videos - below are links - both lead to the same clip - one here on t.com and the other on youtube - they are still a bit rough - but I'm enjoying the process!http://www.transformation.com/sunlightandshadows/video/232 Have a great day - Love and LightJaki :)...

September 1, 2008 | comments (0) | Videos

Finally - Uploaded my first Assignment as a slide show/video

Bills assinment Ten set me a challenge - Slowly I am going back through my assignments - for me I know that repitition is a key part to new habits being formed and cemented in my life. I felt as though I gave each of the assignments my personal '10' when I did them first time arround - but by doing them again, now, I feel I am a different person, changes are happening daily and therefore my '10' will be a new 10.A couple of weeks ago I re-did my ...

August 31, 2008 | comments (6) | Videos

Life Lessons - Feeding the Soul

Just a very quick post today - but something that is becomming more obvious by the day is that by reading all of the wonderful blogs that are here on the site - hearing all of the positivity, listening to all of the internal learning and understanding that so many are coming to - the Life Lessons - wellIt is feeding my soul - nourishing it with so much positivity that there are moments when it feels as though it fills me up and could let me fly!S...

August 31, 2008 | comments (2) | Just Sharing

WIll The Real 'Me' Please Stand UP!

Well I have just spent have just spent the last 4 hours talking on the phone to a friend that I haven't seen or spoken to in nearly a year.During the conversation I found a part of me surfacing that has been missing for longer than I can remember. We laughed and challenged each other and those hours felt like a few minutes.This has made me think - and think deeply. The timing of this wonderful call was perfect. Bill's assignment 10 made me realis...

August 30, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

What's in a Name?

This may seem like a strange post - but I wonder if it will resonate with anyone else. Ok - I have introduced myself properly now - Or have I? You all know me as Jaki - spelt JAKI. And that is who I am comfortable to be - that is who I feel is the real me - the one that is open and honest and longing to learn and loving the journey - But and there is a butWhen I was born I was christened 'Jacqueline' - When I was growing up I was called 'Jac...

August 28, 2008 | comments (6) | Just Sharing

Being Anonymous!

Following on from yesterdays post a little bit. The comments  in response made me think a bit - and then a bit more! (Sore head now! Thanks guys (and girls!))Yep - sometimes the best type of communication is face to face - being able to gauge body language, tone of voice - the eyes (Oh yes if you are like me the eyes give it all away! - no hiding anything at all!). It make it easier to discipher the meaning and intent behind a comment or who...

August 27, 2008 | comments (11) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Interpreting the Words of Others - True or False?

How do we interpret the words of others? For me this site and process has taught me an impotant lesson in life. When I read the words that others write 'I hear' words that resonate with the life experiences that I have had. I can only hear with thoughts and emotions that I have experienced in life - I can only hear in language that I understand based on my own learned interpretation.Each and every one of us has had different experiences and ...

August 26, 2008 | comments (8) | Just Sharing

Accepting Praise and compliments

I had had some ides of things to do to move forward - not so different from the ones I had at the beginning of the season - and by making room for them - I can move into the new. I can follow my dream of writing. A great mentor from the site gave me some confidence in an email yesterday, they also pointed out that a couple of my ideas were not possible - but they comented that my book idea sounded interesting and that they liked my writing -...

August 25, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Cross To Bear - Good or Bad? What is your choice?

How true this is, I hope you enjoy it.Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear....

August 24, 2008 | comments (4) | Just Sharing

Where or What is home to you?

Life has a way of throwing questions at us - questions to ponder and consider. The one that I have going through my mind today is (even though I know it has nothing to do with exercise or diet - it is just one of those deeper/curious questions that is running through my head)'Where or What is Home'Is home a place or is it where the people you love live?Is it somewhere with perfect furnishings or decorations?Does it have to be a certian size?Does ...

August 24, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

Getting Organised - Letting Go - And Opening Up

I am sure that in all of my blogs I repeat things that I am learning - possibly different wording - but the same lesson, just from a different perspective. No - I am not apologising - you see the same picture or scene can look diferent from every angle that you look at it from. We could all be in the same room together, supposedly experiencing the same thing - yet each of us will have a different and unique perspective on what has happened. Each ...

August 23, 2008 | comments (4) | Change

Fear - V - Life and Living

Assignment 8 - The lowest habit.Slowly dealing with the issue of procrastination. This assignment has had the effect of making me more aware. Thought processes are evolving - I am challenging the 'automatic reactions' the old. Questioning if there is another way to think or act. The steps are slow - but they are still steps forward. I am becomming more aware of the fact that the procrastination is often based on fear - fear of change, fear of re...

August 22, 2008 | comments (3) | Change

Time To Grieve - Then Time to Move On

 Yesterday is gone - but the kindness from those on this site is still here with me - it is my life raft - And I am grateful.Assignment 8 - perfect timing - Lowest habit - I have already said procrastination is my lowest habit - one of those thing that I have continually put off until later was and has been for years - the act of grieving.Now that may sound strange - but since I started this challenge I have cried actual tears more than I ha...

August 21, 2008 | comments (5) | Progress not Perfection

Clinging on to Sanity - by a thread

Life as I have known it seems to be crumbling down arround me - it feel like a hurricane has ripped through my world and tossed me out to sea. At this particular moment I feel as though I am drowning. I keep trying to hold on to the thought that after every storm comes a rainbow and if it was a hurricane - then I will have a blank canvas to start from.I keep trying to see the positives - but I am struggling to find them - all I can see at this mi...

August 19, 2008 | comments (9) | Uncategorized

Assignment 8 - Just the Beginning!

I put on my note for Assignment 8 - That Procrastination was my lowest habit. My steps to overcome that habit were to write myself a list of positves that I would print out and carry with me - I commited to reading that list morning and evening - as well as when I felt the act/emotion of procrastination taking hold.I remembered a video gift that Pete posted a few days ago - from The Secret. I know that the words touched me deeply then - so for no...

August 18, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Friendship Poem

 Friendship PoemIF I COULD CATCH A RAINBOW If I could catch a rainbowI would do it just for youAnd share with you its beautyOn the days you are feeling blueIf I could build a mountainYou could call your very ownA place to find serenityA place to be aloneIf I could take your troublesI would toss them in the seaBut all these things I am findingAre impossible for meI cannot build a mountainOr catch a rainbow fairBut let me be what I know b...

August 18, 2008 | comments (3) | Uncategorized

Lost - 1.5 cm - if found please return!

 I had my appointment with the Phisiotherapist this morning. It was just an initial one where she took details, measurements, checked my spine etc.I have taken a few hours before writing in the blog - and I just want to confirm that I'm not wallowing in self-pity. I am lucky - I am strong - and this will prove to be a gift.OK - so outcome of the appointmentGood - spine not curved yet - so that means I have a good canvas to work with.Not quit...

August 18, 2008 | comments (1) | Change

Killing Time - or - Living Time

I am taking ownership of what I write below - Quite often I write in the 'third person' as though I am writing for you - which I am. But I am taking ownership of the words in the sense that I know they are things I need to be doing - ways in which I need to beed actually taking the words to heart and making them part of my life - so where I would have put the words 'you'could' or 'each moment that you live' - I will replace the 'you' with 'I'.I w...

August 16, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Happy

Just found this and wanted to share - Every morning,Wake with the awe of just being alive.Each Day,Discover the magnificant awesome beauty in the world.Explore and Embrace life in yourselfand everything you see.Live every day well.Let a little sunshine out - as well as in.Create your own rainbows.Be Open to PossibilitiesBelieve in Miraclesby Vickie M Worsham...

August 16, 2008 | comments (1) | Just Sharing

Help or Suggestions required - Please :)

This is part of the Post I put on the T2 thread yesterday - asking for ideas or help  - Just thought I would put it out on my blog to see if anyone has any other ideas for me.The battery has run out on my scales! - I have worn them out - but that is good 'cause now I can't be a scale junkie!Ok - I am struggling with some of my results. I was quite happy with my weight at the beginning of the challenge. I tend to go from 7st 10 - 7st 8lb...

August 16, 2008 | comments (1) | Uncategorized

More Positive Progress - Awesome

Latest update on PNP 1) I have actually asked for help from the T2 group. - This is a really big thing for me to do. I never ask for help - but once I realised that I could do with some suggestions - I didn't think twice, I feel safe here and that is is probably my 2nd PNP for today. I really do feel safe here - I feel I am able to be me - no acts - no trying to please - just being me Love it - Awesome!Thank YouHave a great day - L...

August 15, 2008 | comments (4) | Progress not Perfection

I Don't Want to Give My Best ...............................

I just read Bill's Latest post and watched the video clip - and there were a couple of statements in it that really tugged at me.'I don't want to give my best - I want to give better than that' - I love that comment - what a thing to aspire to.and alsothe point about when the whistle blows for the final 2 minutes of the game - superman syndrome! I know that from being at the gym - there are those moments when energy flags (just being honest) - bu...

August 14, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

True Happiness Lies Within You

Well I am finally finishing the Guides (17 rules for living a better life) - Here is number 17Realise that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Rememner that there is no happiness in having or getting - but only in giving. Reach out - share - Hug. Happiness is a perfume you can not pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.I love this rule - or at l...

August 14, 2008 | comments (0) | Growing Inside

Dream Quest

If you were told that you had one chance - just one chance to list 10 things that you could take forward with you into a new life - what would they be. - Would they be people, things, characteristics, emotions, values ?How would you make a choice?I was just mulling this idea around in my head - trying to focus on what my priorities in life are and who I am. Who I really am - not who I act at being?How would I choose the most important 10 - would ...

August 13, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

People Watching

Well the last couple of days work has been quite quiet, due to the weather and recession, so I have had plenty of time to do some 'people watching'.This is something I enjoy doing - not in a nasty way - but a positive way. I have probably done it in the past because in a starnge way it was a silent unobtrusive way of looking at the world. I would think about what my thoughts in the past might have been - possibly not so nice and probably judgemen...

August 12, 2008 | comments (5) | Change

Changing Environment

A Really Quick PostOn the matter of changing EnvironmentIt has been well documented that I rarely used to go out of my house. So one of the things I had was a massive DVD collection over 600!Well one of the things I did a couple of weeks ago was to get rid of over 100 of them! I gave some away and the others have been put out for a sale. So that was a change.By going to the gym I watch less TV. But I did only ever watch it when I was making my je...

August 11, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Progress in Confidence

I have just posted my latest Progress not Perfection insights in the forum post - but I thought that I would post them here as well -1) I have already said that one of my elements of progress is the fact that I now go out - even if it is to the gym. But one of the knock on effects that that is having is that now when I am at work I actually socialise with other stall holders. For years I have stayed in my 'safe-space' of my stall - and I only cha...

August 11, 2008 | comments (3) | Progress not Perfection

Powerful - Positive - Personal Progress

This is just a really quick post (as I am about to go to work)I had to have my morning 'fix' of positivity.Coming on this site to have a quick look at blogs and messafes has become a daily habbit to lift my spirits and create a positive attitude. I wake with an excitement at the thought of reading the personal transformation stages that others are making - it helps me to realise steps I am making - things that I would not have really realised or ...

August 10, 2008 | comments (2) | Growing Inside

FInding a Positive in Everything

Ok - I am about a week late in placing this post. I have been following daily guides for living a better life (Book by Og Mandino). I had been posting the 'Rule' and then journalling my reaction to it. This is guide 16 (of 17) and I'm back on track.Search for the good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious sheild that will guard you well throught the darkest valleys you must traverse - Stars may be seen from th...

August 10, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Rainy Day - blast!

The weather here today is stormy and horrible. It was meant to be a work day - but when it is like this I can't work ( I make jewellery and sell it at craft shows - Outdoors). That has left me a bit like a fish out of water! I really do need to earn the money and there have been so many days of bad weather that I am beginning (actually I am well on the way) to feel financially strapped. It has even got to the stage that I have considered selling ...

August 9, 2008 | comments (2) | Uncategorized

Environment Changes - Assignment 7

So many little changes that it is hard to remember them all.I have done so much clearing the clutter and the old from my environment at home - even my wedding dress that was still hanging in my wardrobe - it was time to let go of the past and not have a reminder of failure in front of me whenever I opened that section.Ihave changed some of the language I use. In 'difficult' situations with my teenage children I try not to be inflamatory - but ope...

August 9, 2008 | comments (3) | Change

To A Special Friend - Part Two

For a long time now I have tried to live with the internal philosophy that is my log in name - Sunlight and Shadows.It is a bit like Yin and Yang - complimentary - you need both to survive - When I think of Sunlight, I do not feel sunburn, or scorched earth that needs rain. I feel the warmth of those rays that brighten the world, the way that the sunlight dances on the water - but I also have a respect for it - too much of anything can have a neg...

August 9, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

To A Special Friend - Part One

A Letter to a FriendYou left a wonderful and open letter on my blog - so I hope this is ok with you to write a response.To me I believe that if God (Yes this is me acknowledging God) keeps placing similar circumstances in my path - then there is a lesson for life to learn from it. I have spent so many days, months, years - trying to ignore things I did not want to see - or even acknowledge. Your post is re-arifming that for me - so you gave ...

August 9, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Progress - Slow and Steady Wins the Race

This process of actually having to think of areas in which I am making progress is actually cementing - fixing changes that I had not realised had occured.So for today - my PNP awareness elements are - 1) The fact that awareness of changes that have 'sneakily' taken place with out me realising - is boosting my inner strength to steadily press forward. Yes there are mornings that I wake up and think 'it is only 6am - do I really want to go swimmin...

August 8, 2008 | comments (4) | Progress not Perfection

Progress indeed!

Progress - towards my personal perfection.1) Going to the classes at the gym was a big step for me - but slowly the way I am in the classes is chaanging as well. The way I hold my body - with a litttle bit more confidence, the way I feel inside - not looking round to see if anyone is watching me make a fool of myself. These are tiny changes in some respects - but in others they are huge.2) Again at the gym classes - I have the confidence to be di...

August 7, 2008 | comments (2) | Change

Keeping it Real

Just a quick update - I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Working on the self - forgiveness and struggling with putting it into words or emotions. Just working on each thought as it comes up - but sticking to the exercise and diet side fine - (still only 5 small meals a day and possibly need a little more water - but all going in the right direction)My self rant the other day was releasing and draining at the same time - it has created a...

August 7, 2008 | comments (3) | Uncategorized

RAW Blog

R = Real - A = and  - W = Wrung out - that was yesterdays blog. I laid my failings and feelings bare and tore a 'strip' off myself - it was not a journey into self pity. More a release of things that had bottled up inside me. I can't say that just by putting those feelings in writing - I am now free of those emotions.  What I can say is that by putting them out there, I now need to face them. Yesterday was just a start on this part of m...

August 5, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Going through the Process of Forgiveness

Please note that none of the below is a self - pity or poor me blog - it is all about letting go, accepting, moving forward, acknowledging and releasing feelings and emotions - it is a process - and I am doing it for me - it is a release and if any of my words stir an 'ah-ha' with anyone who reads them - then great - but I am not doing it for a pat on the back - but just to allow me to let go of the past and embrace the future. Today a comme...

August 5, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Aches in places ...................................

Just a really quick post. Well my funk of yesterday had a physical benefit.I may have been 'running from being at home' - but the aches this morning from spending time at the gym and pool - WOW - Fabulous, who would have thought that I would describe aches like these as fabulous!So I did 30 lengths at the pool at 7am, went to my first Body Pump class with weights at 11am (that really was a body pump! Then in the evening went to step aerobics - wh...

August 4, 2008 | comments (6) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

In a Funk!

Well here I am feeling as though someone has put a set of weights on my shoulders! I woke up in a stroppy mood this morning and I can't seem to get out of it. I just feel as though all I can envisage is all the negative things and not the positive.I did still go to the pool this morning - 30 lengths. Then I came home and 'pounced' on my son for being thoughtless! (He ate my daughters helping of homemade strawberry Icecream - remembering that he h...

August 4, 2008 | comments (5) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Don't Rain on My Parade!

Ok, Ok - I don't mean anyone in particular - I'm still working through the 17 (rules) guides in the book a better way to live - today is day 15 and the guide says -Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and then cast a pall of gloom and defeat on your entire day. Remember that no talant, no self-denial, no brains, no character are required to set up in the fault finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit i...

August 2, 2008 | comments (4) | Growing Inside

Daily Goals

Day 14 - of reading and journalling on the guides for a better bay to live - by Og Mandino.Guide 14 - You will achieve your grand dream, a day at a time. So set goals for each day - not long difficult projects, but chores that will take you step by step toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you can not build your pyramid in 24 ...

August 2, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

Positive Starts

Today is day 13, guide 13 of reading and studying the book a better way to live.Welcome every morning with a smile - Look on the new day as another special gift from your creator. Another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success - and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a f...

August 1, 2008 | comments (4) | Growing Inside

Never Neglect the Little Things

On day 12 or the book - A Better Way to Live - this is Rule 12 (still prefer the word Guide!)Never neglect the little things. Never Skimp on that extra effort, the additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delevery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are ...

July 31, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Credit Where Credit is Due

Just a few short weeks ago I was still struggling with that devil called fear - Fear to go out of my house unless it was for work, food shopping or for my kids. I would go for spells of time when I could function fairly normally and then that devil called fear would get hold of me and tear into my life. The effect it had was enormous. I did the old 12 week BFL program and just before the end I had a spell where I could not get out of the house to...

July 30, 2008 | comments (8) | Growing Inside

Laugh at Yourself and at Life!

Well this is what it says in rule (guide!) 11 in the book a better way to live.Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self pity - but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward th...

July 30, 2008 | comments (2) | Growing Inside

Strange Friendships - Awesome Really!

I can not lay claim to this subject - the honour goes to Silly (Sally). How strange these friendships are, we don't know each other, we have not heard each others voices, do not know what each other look like really, there is no class barrier and sometimes if the persons 'name' is general - we may not even know if we are 'talking' to a man or woman (ok I know the silhouette may give it away - but that is only a may).Yet here we are all opening up...

July 29, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Treating Others as the Amazing People they Are

Yep - I am still working throught the book a Better way to Live. I have to admit that some of the wording creates 'hic-ups' or challenging reactions. And maybe in the past I would have put it down and left it on the bookshelf. But - I'm living a new life - I'm learning not to give up when things don't 'suit' me or I just can't get quite enough motivation to carry on. Therefore - I'm going to finish what I started - I made a commitment to review a...

July 28, 2008 | comments (2) | Uncategorized

Inner talk changes

I have just read Marty's Blog - Awesome and when leaving a message a realisation suddenly hit me - it took me a moment to accept the change that had taken place - My inner talk, self speak, thoughts - whatever you want to call it - is changing.My thoughts are now 'How can I' and no longer 'why I can't or shouldn't' How awesome is that! - I really hadn't noticed the change before - it just crept up on me!So I say to all of you - keep moving forwar...

July 28, 2008 | comments (5) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Chasing Tomorrow!

Still going strong with 'A Better Way to Live' - by Og Mandino - Today is Rule 9Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find 'tomorrow' on the calendar of fools. Forget yesterdays defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it - doomsday - all you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are 'If I had my life over again' = Take the baton - Now run with it! This is your da...

July 28, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Living - V - Existing

I'm still carrying on with 'A Better Way to Live' by Og Mandino. TOday is Rule 8Never again clutter your days with so many menial and un-important things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your ro...

July 26, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Life is Not Always Fair - Og Mandino

Rule 7 - from a better way to live - by Og MandinoI just love this Rule - I believe it right to the bottom of my heart!Each day is a special gift from God and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains and hurdles and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear an ugly cloak of self pity and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away an ...

July 25, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

And Again!

Well another great day - lots of positive progress from giving smiles for free, swimming 30 lengths and then this evening going to another exercise class - this time X-Biking! I thought that I reached a ten last night at the step aerobics - but tonight it was - hot - sweaty - and 'knackering'! I managed to keep up with the class pace for 35 minutes and then just cycled for ten more - but by then I actually felt sick - apparently I went as white a...

July 25, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Well I'm still reading and journaling on the Og Mandino book - A better way to Live - today is Rule 6 (There are 17 - I think)Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on gaurd against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water - and when you remove it - the hole remaining will give you full measure of your importance.I...

July 25, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

First Class - I Did It!

I did it - I pushed myself to challenge my fear - and the fear lost - I won!I went to a new gym and went to a step aerobic class! How is that for breaking the fear of going out!It was awesome and it definately reached a ten! Talk about hot and sweaty! Sorry for that description but that is how it was.There were some really funny moments - I have mild dyslexia and knowing my left from my right is sometimes a struggle - I have to think about it and...

July 24, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Re-Visiting the first Assignments and Letting go

Today has been so productive. There were some phone calls that I had been putting off for a couple of weeks and I made them - I burnt some proverbial bridges from the past and created an immense need to move into the future with strength and determination. I said in an earlier blog that for a few years I have been my youngest son's carer - well today I rang the office that gives you an allowance for being a carer and told them I no longer needed ...

July 24, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Pleasant Thoughts

Todays Rule (5) for a better way to live (Og Mandino) isBuild this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting your thoughts. You can fly when you decide you can. Never consider defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be your lifes blueprint - SmileM...

July 23, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Thankful For

I just wanted to share this - it touched my spirit - it is about being Thankful and the fact that it is up to us to be the Change! How appropriate - for this my 100th Post - Love - Light and Gratitude.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5nNckK5Tmc  (just in case it does not show - this is the link)...

July 23, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Amazing Conversation

I have had a day that has been full of gifts. I went to work at 7.30am and have just got home (it is now 915pm!). For the next few weeks I am continuing with my job of making jewellery and selling it at local craft fairs. Today the weather was amazing and the customers were just fantastic. I had so many brilliant conversations, met such positive people - but there was one lady in particular - Julia (Ju-Ju). Well Julia has been a customer for a fe...

July 23, 2008 | comments (2) | Growing Inside

Family Values

Each day I am reading a rule from the book a better way to live by Og Mandino. Today it is Rule 4Always reward your long hours of labour and toil in the very best way - surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the wor...

July 22, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Never Quit - Your time will come

Last night before I went to sleep I read - Rule 3, from A Better Way To Live - Which saidWhenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long - Mistakes are lifes way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseperable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures when they happen are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders - How will you know your li...

July 21, 2008 | comments (6) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Letting Go of The Myth - I'll be happy When!

I have found that for most of my life I have constantly had thoughts likeI'll be happy when - I pass my driving testI'll be happy when the kids tidy their rooms!I'll be happy when I lose 10lbsI'll be happy when I meet my soulmateI'll be happy when I get that jobI'll be happy when I have no money worrysI'll be happy whenWell there is no doubt that when any of those things happen i will be happy - but they are not what makes me happy inside - That ...

July 21, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Great start to the Week!

Well I am smiling from ear to ear! Up at 6am, swimming at 7am - 30 lengths - the first time I have been swimming for a few months. Home An hour later a protein shake. Lots of jobs done around the house - lots of calls made, a trip to the dentist (no injections today).Eating well and correct portions - possibly not enough to drink. Picked up my new calcium supplements, ordered some other new supplements (my brain has felt a bit fuzzy recently!) Ma...

July 21, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Working on Internal Happiness - Part 2

Earlier today I posted part one. And I had a lovely comment from Brenna - she was very honest and said 'Life is full of choices and although I don't think I agree that you can choose your emotions, I do believe that you can choose to dwell on those that feed your spirit. Sometimes I have found it important to feel the sadness, mourning what is lost before I can move forward. Now, negativity is another thing entirely! I put that one in it's place ...

July 20, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Working on Internal Happiness

I had honestly thought that I was happy with who I am - but in all honest I was just accepting who I am and not moving forwards.I don't know if any of you feel this way - content, accepting, happy to have a few good moments every now and a gain and accepting your 'lot in life'. Well when I spend time reflecting on it - my actual happiness level has just been coasting along at a level of acceptence. I am a total contradiction on different days dep...

July 20, 2008 | comments (6) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Renewed Purpose

Inner Strength and determination are mental and spiritual muscles and I want to get to exercise them right to a ten!Bill's latest blog stirred a purpose and passion in me. My ten in exercising may not be a ten to other peoples 10's - But I will push my body safely and not risk damaging my bones. I will be continue to be sensible and take tiny steps, I will reach an internal ten and part of that will be learning to walk and not run - it will test ...

July 19, 2008 | comments (4) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Accepting the Past

I just spent about two hours typing in a potted history of my past and as I got close to the end it hit me - that is exactly what it is - the past. It is what has made me who I am today. There are probably a few things that I will share over time - but only in the spirit of passing my lessons on, in the hope that they can help others with self discoveries.So I deleted it - WoW - if only it was as easy as that to wipe away the things we don't want...

July 18, 2008 | comments (1) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

I Refuse to Give In!

Ok - so for those of you who have read my blog before - you know the obsticles I have with the Osteoporosis.Well I am still awake at 1am and frustration is going round and round in my head - it is based on I am not giving in!So I am going to use this time to really focus on my purpose behind the transformation challenge. I am going to continue doing the diet/eating side of things (even though I only make it to five meals a day)I am going to conti...

July 17, 2008 | comments (6) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Back Ache!

Well I think I pushed it a bit too much the other day and my back is complaining a bit! - But the diet side is going quite well. I struggle a bit with 6 meals - so I am at 5 for the moment and slowly I will alter my routine to get in the 6.My head is still spinning with assignment 4 - trying to make it consise and productive - not all that waffle that I usually put in my blogs. I think that one of the skills I need to learn is to sumarise everyth...

July 17, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Apology

Since reading assignment four I feel as though I have gone into myself and not been there for those who I normally support. For that I apologise - I will catch up.I don't know about anybody else but i have found this scary and exciting at the same time. There are so many layers to peel back and finding the crux, the seat of my purpose is not the easiest of tasks. I opened up in yesterdays blog about wanting to love and be loved and the fear surro...

July 16, 2008 | comments (3) | Growing Inside

Searching My Heart and Soul for Purpose

Looking deep within my heart and soul to clarify my reasons, my purpose for desiring this Transformation was something that I thought would be relatively easy - as I have been doing that for the last few weeks anyway --------But reading Bill's words and letting them soak in deeply - even deeper than they had before was actually quite hard. So I am going to blog or journal each day this week with any thoghts that go through my head.I hav...

July 15, 2008 | comments (3) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Gently Moving Forward

A gentle day with powerful strides forward.Not a day that held great big ah-ha moments but a day of gentle steps forward, sensible eating, possibly not quite enough water, time at the gym, lots done around the house, time with my kids, helping my mum's friend with her computer, and working - a little bit of everything - even time to breathe in and just be.Maybe this was a big step after all - it all ran smoothly, like a routine that is starting t...

July 14, 2008 | comments (4) | Uncategorized

If Happiness is a state! - What state are you?

I started reading a new book this morning - Happy for no reason by Marci Schimoff. I don't want to put it down - but a workout calls in an hour and I just wanted to share with you a questionairre that is in the book.But before I do - a little bit of blog! I can remember times in my life when it did not matter what was going on arround me all I could see was something good - something to smile about. There were times when I would sing for no reaso...

July 14, 2008 | comments (2) | Transformation - An Inner Journey

Laying New Foundations

My life feels very contradictory at the moment - I feel as though I am in a time of great change - yet at the same time I feel stagnant!I have a vision of the future and am on a path that is leading me there - I am climbing that mountain. Each day I take steps forward - but part of the journey is to lay the foundations for the future and some of those mean that for the next couple of months I have to focus on clearing up and tying the loose ends ...

July 13, 2008 | comments (7) | Change

A Little Voice

I was jut sending and email to one of my friends on this site and it suddenly hit me that this site has given me yet another gift.My life is quite lonely - you had probably guessed that from the amout I post! You could say that I put myself in a self imposed prison. When I was married I was discouraged from going out - I was 'allowed' out for shopping and work. Slowly but surely I lost my voice, my ability to have a real conversation with others....